1
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,716
A wheel to practice
my spell casting.

2
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,051
Did I just make studying fun?

3
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,053
I think I did.

4
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,393
Spell that begins with horse.
Uh, easy!

5
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,728
"Horse that draws
a four-wheel wagon,

6
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,439
"summon me the egg of a dragon."

7
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,859
And your new Battle of the Wands
champion is...

8
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,194
- Billie!
- Exactly.

9
00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:30,530
Oh, hey, Justin.

10
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,366
Are you practicing spells
on a Saturday?

11
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:37,704
I am impressed!
And suspicious. What's going on?

12
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,998
Okay, look,
tonight is Battle of the Wands,

13
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,458
and I know
what you're gonna say.

14
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:45,044
"Battle of the Wands
is nothing but an underground,

15
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:48,673
"unregulated, unsafe gathering
of magical hooligans."

16
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,676
Billie,
you are my responsibility.

17
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,470
You are not going
to Battle of the Wands.

18
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:55,846
- But...
- If you do,

19
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,307
you'll lose your phone
for two weeks.

20
00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,726
And get rid of that dragon egg
before it hatches.

21
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,812
Our smoke alarm goes off
when we burn popcorn.

22
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,651
This is what I get
for telling the truth.

23
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:10,612
Well,
I'm never doing that again.

24
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,913
{\an8}<i>♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪</i>

25
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,705
{\an8}<i>♪ When you can have
what you want ♪</i>

26
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:23,875
{\an8}<i>♪ By the simplest of means ♪</i>

27
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,753
{\an8}<i>♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪</i>

28
00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:31,298
{\an8}<i>♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪</i>

29
00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,634
<i>♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪</i>

30
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,429
<i>♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪</i>

31
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,181
<i>♪ Yes, please ♪</i>

32
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,518
<i>♪ What it seems ♪</i>

33
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,606
Let me get this straight.
Mr. Russo said

34
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,192
you can't go to a dangerous
underground magic battle?

35
00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:50,318
Crazy, right?

36
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,320
{\an8}Crazy that you thought
he would let you!

37
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,613
{\an8}He's Mr. Russo.

38
00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:55,490
{\an8}He makes his groceries
wear seat belts.

39
00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:58,535
But I have to go
to Battle of the Wands.

40
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:01,704
If I win that trophy,
I'll show everyone back at home

41
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,956
that I'm not just a screw-up
who couldn't cut it at WizTech.

42
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,415
- Then you should go.
- But if I go,

43
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:06,960
Justin will be really mad.

44
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,752
- Then you shouldn't go.
- But if I don't,

45
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,546
then everybody will just think
I'm a screw-up.

46
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,257
- Then you should go.
- But if I do go--

47
00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:14,175
Billie, we both know
this is happening.

48
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,095
Let me just grab my go bag.

49
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,180
Wait,
you keep a go bag in my room?

50
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,975
{\an8}Of course. Unless we're staying.
Then it's a stay bag.

51
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,686
{\an8}It also has my jammies in it.

52
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,564
Okay, then yes, we're doing it,

53
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,524
{\an8}but we just need
someone to cover for us.

54
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,859
{\an8}Someone who doesn't have
any plans on a Saturday night.

55
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:32,944
Hey, guys.

56
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,697
Roman.

57
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:38,116
{\an8}Winter and I need to go
to an underground wizard battle,

58
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,534
{\an8}but your dad said I can't go,

59
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,493
{\an8}so I need you to make it look
like we're still here.

60
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,580
{\an8}Underground wizard battle, huh?

61
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,664
{\an8}Is it just wizards,
or will all types

62
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,458
{\an8}of magical beings
be at this event?

63
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,587
{\an8}What do you care? You don't know
anyone in the wizard world.

64
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:51,796
{\an8}Except...

65
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:57,302
{\an8}Oh, you want to see Iggy,
that pixie girl from my party.

66
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,679
- Ooh!
- Ooh!

67
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:02,431
{\an8}No, I don't. I mean,

68
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,474
{\an8}unless she's going to be there.
She probably won't be there.

69
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:06,019
Do you think
she's going to be there?

70
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:09,022
{\an8}- Probably.
- Then I'd also like to be there

71
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,567
{\an8}- to cheer you on.
- Aw.

72
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,695
{\an8}Well, if Roman's not gonna
cover for us, who will?

73
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,113
Sure, I'll cover for you.

74
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,909
- Wow, thanks, Milo.
- But it's gonna cost you.

75
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,953
{\an8}Set us up just to take us down.

76
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:26,289
{\an8}I'd be proud if you weren't
using it against us.

77
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,875
All right, Milo,
what do you want?

78
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,628
{\an8}- An ice pop.
- That's it?

79
00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,880
{\an8}You do know
I'm a wizard, right?

80
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,089
I can conjure anything.

81
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,634
Then a blue one
shouldn't be a problem.

82
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,602
Why are you crying?

83
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,687
That man came
all the way from the future

84
00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:52,064
{\an8}just to find that woman,

85
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,235
{\an8}and she wants nothing
to do with him.

86
00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:58,154
He's a robot
sent to terminate her.

87
00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:01,114
Oh, I really have to stop
looking at my phone

88
00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:02,366
when we watch movies.

89
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,826
Ooh!

90
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,706
Battle of the Wands
starts in less than an hour.

91
00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:12,000
If I don't get there in time,
all the spots will be taken.

92
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,586
Don't worry, I got this.

93
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,465
Whoa! That robot's jacked!

94
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,718
Dad, why don't you have
muscles like that?

95
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:25,265
Milo, this movie
is inappropriate for you.

96
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,641
Where are you going?

97
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,559
To the bathroom.

98
00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:32,939
But you can't until I show you
this new dance move I made up.

99
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,903
What is happening right now?

100
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,321
This is your fault
for telling him

101
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:43,199
he could do anything
he sets his mind to.

102
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,995
- No, don't leave!
- Why? What's wrong?

103
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:51,207
I just remembered
that everybody eventually dies.

104
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:56,087
Oh, boy.

105
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,715
Well, I feel better.

106
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,717
If you need me,
I'll be in my room.

107
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,803
So will Billie and Roman.
All in our rooms.

108
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,389
Should we be worried about him?

109
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,142
I think it'd be weird
if we weren't.

110
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,322
Welcome to Battle of the Wands!

111
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,073
Why was Mr. Russo so worried
about you coming here?

112
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:26,200
Duck!

113
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,495
Okay, starting to see it.

114
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,372
If you'll excuse me...

115
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:35,376
...I have to go find Iggy
and tell her that I like her.

116
00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:40,506
You're still standing here.

117
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,801
Yeah, it just occurred to me
that she might not like me back.

118
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,136
There's only one way
to find out.

119
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:48,931
- Just go talk to her.
- Right.

120
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,436
- Are you gonna go?
- I don't think so.

121
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,358
- Do you need us to stay?
- I would rather you didn't.

122
00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:02,362
Hi, I'm here
to sign up for the battle.

123
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:07,283
No spots left?
What do I do now?

124
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:08,910
Well, well, well.

125
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,828
If it isn't the screw-up
who couldn't cut it at WizTech.

126
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:14,916
- Hey, that's not nice.
- That's why I said it.

127
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:18,543
- What do you want, Xander?
- It's not what I want.

128
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:19,921
It's what I'm gonna do.

129
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,922
I'm gonna win
the Battle of the Wands,

130
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,341
and it's gonna be Xantastic!

131
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,343
This girl knows
what I'm talking about.

132
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,470
I don't.

133
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:32,100
- "Xantastic" is not even a word.
- It is when I say it.

134
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,435
Have fun
watching me take the trophy.

135
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:39,357
Joke's on you. We definitely
will not have fun doing that.

136
00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:42,610
Gotta find a way
into the competition.

137
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,029
And then we gotta work
on your comebacks.

138
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:53,703
There must be a way to get
into Battle of the Wands.

139
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:56,540
But there are no more spots.
Maybe we should just go.

140
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:59,126
No. The whole reason
I came here is to prove

141
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:02,045
that I'm not just the screw-up
who couldn't cut it at WizTech.

142
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,089
Look, if I leave
without winning,

143
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,842
- that's all I'll ever be.
- Then I got your back.

144
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,051
But that's all I can offer,

145
00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:09,804
'cause I don't know
how things work here.

146
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,266
There's MC.
Maybe he'll help.

147
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:15,976
Excuse me?

148
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:19,313
Whoa! Sorry, I meant to say...
Yikes!

149
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,481
What do you want?

150
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:23,483
The battle's starting
in ten minutes.

151
00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:26,027
Listen,
I didn't get a spot in time.

152
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:28,613
- Any chance you could get me in?
- Talk to the hand.

153
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,740
That's rude and dated.

154
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:34,454
No, the hand.
He runs this thing.

155
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:38,958
If you get his signature,
I'll put you on the list.

156
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:45,756
Man, for a guy with no feet,
that hand is fast.

157
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,508
Okay, we gotta find it.

158
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,385
- I have an idea.
- Huh?

159
00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:53,181
- What are you doing?
- He's a hand.

160
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,058
Hands can't resist a high five.
Everybody knows that.

161
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,436
I'm gonna go look for him.

162
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:05,443
You're right.
I think that might work.

163
00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:12,366
Hey, Milo,
have you seen Billie and Roman?

164
00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:15,578
Uh, yep.
Been seeing them all day.

165
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,080
That's why I'm down here.
Getting the snacks.

166
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:19,957
A single cheese stick?

167
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,460
Yep. We're playing this game
where we all peel a strip off

168
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,170
and see who gets
the longest one.

169
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,839
It's fun and delicious.

170
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,301
That's a lot of hands
on one stick of cheese.

171
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:34,305
Well, good talk, Dad.

172
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:35,973
Wait a minute.

173
00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:39,643
You can't just eat cheese
for dinner.

174
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:40,936
Why don't we all go out?

175
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,563
Oh, that's a great idea!
I'll get us a table for five.

176
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:44,649
Five?

177
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:46,441
I don't know.

178
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:48,443
It's kind of hard to get
a table for an odd number.

179
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,654
How about just us three?

180
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,198
We're not leaving
Billie and Roman behind.

181
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,410
- I'll go get them.
- No, no. Don't. I'll do it.

182
00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:59,205
You get the reservation.
I'll gather the children.

183
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:03,250
Man, it's hard having parents

184
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,253
that want to spend time
with their kids.

185
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,174
Uh, excuse me, I'm... I'm...
I'm looking for someone.

186
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:14,886
Her name's Iggy. She's yay high,
blonde hair, big, beautiful eyes

187
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,846
that sparkle when she smiles.
Not that I've noticed.

188
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:18,057
I'm not weird.

189
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:22,978
Here, hand. Here, boy.

190
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:25,022
Man, where is he?
I've looked everywhere.

191
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:28,359
Oh. Well, look no further.
You found him.

192
00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:31,027
- Who are you?
- Um, hello,

193
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:35,031
Nigel Dragonberry,
Ultimate Spellmaster, 2007.

194
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,324
I've won Battle of the Wands

195
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,536
more times
than any wizard in history.

196
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,121
- Wow, that's awesome.
- Yeah, it is.

197
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,666
People are still
talking about me.

198
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,709
Not that much
in the last 15 years,

199
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,212
but back in '07, I was the man.

200
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,506
See, this is what
I was telling Winter.

201
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:53,133
If I win Battle of the Wands,

202
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,968
it'll change the way
everyone thinks of me.

203
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,680
Yeah, it will. I get respect.

204
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,848
Not so much
in the last 15 years,

205
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,226
but back in '07, I was the man!

206
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,062
So, what's happened
the last 15 years?

207
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,231
Not a lot.

208
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:10,526
- But back in '07--
- I know, you were the man.

209
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,654
Yeah, I was!

210
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,864
By the way, I'm counting
this little chit-chat

211
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,617
as a meet-and-greet.
That'll be five bucks.

212
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,618
you're charging me five bucks?

213
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,246
Unless you want a picture.
That'll cost you ten.

214
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:26,417
Smile. You're in a picture
with Nigel Dragonberry.

215
00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:33,006
Come on, kids. Time to go.

216
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,259
We're going to be late
for our reservation.

217
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,052
Just a second.

218
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,929
I'm finishing my girl make-up.

219
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,348
Girl make-up?

220
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,726
All she has up there
is sunscreen and lip balm.

221
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,897
What's taking Roman so long?
Hey, uh, Roman?

222
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,900
Uh,
this is Roman Russo.

223
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,235
How can I help you?

224
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,405
Are you okay? You sound strange.

225
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:57,906
Yep. I just have a little...

226
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,533
...puberty going on.

227
00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:06,039
That doesn't sound like Roman.

228
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,210
Yeah, he usually calls puberty
"the big change."

229
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:15,591
Boys?

230
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:17,802
Showtime!

231
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:21,680
What is taking so long?

232
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,599
Is that Billie?

233
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,851
Why, yes, it is.

234
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:27,353
And I'm glad you think so.

235
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:34,485
- Why is she asleep?
- That's a good question.

236
00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:37,488
- Where is Roman?
- Oh, I know that one!

237
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,116
He's getting dressed
in the closet.

238
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:42,076
How's it going in there, Roman?

239
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:49,457
Well, this makes a lot of sense.

240
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:52,043
I, um... I guess we're just
going to have to go

241
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,546
to the Pasta Palace
without the kids.

242
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,257
Wait, you never said anything
about the Pasta Palace!

243
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,426
I want to go!

244
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:06,851
To be honest, it lasted longer
than I thought it would.

245
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,607
Billie! Check it out!

246
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,444
- I got the hand's signature!
- Thanks, Winter.

247
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,988
Yep, Operation High Five
paid off.

248
00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:21,699
Now, it's time
for Operation Hand Sanitizer.

249
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,869
Let's go get you in the battle.

250
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:28,372
- Right, the battle.
- Isn't that what you wanted?

251
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,833
Uh, yeah, that's what I wanted.

252
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,001
Guys, guys!

253
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:36,004
I just met a wizard who took me
to the multiverse where I saw

254
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,506
every possible outcome
of me running into Iggy.

255
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,885
In one of them,
I sneezed in her face.

256
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,055
- Ooh, that's bad.
- No, no. That was the best one.

257
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,350
There you are!

258
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:51,353
Also, in every timeline,
we were busted by Dad.

259
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,231
Next time, lead with that.

260
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:02,155
I can't believe you all snuck
out into the wizard world.

261
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:04,073
Justin,
it's not their fault.

262
00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:05,659
They... they came to help me.

263
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:08,870
If I'm being completely honest,
Dad, uh, I actually came here

264
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,288
to find out if the pixie

265
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,458
I met at Billie's house
party likes me.

266
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,544
- You had a house party?
- Roman, dude, stop talking.

267
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,089
- You are all in big trouble.
- Me too?

268
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:20,507
Well, uh, no, not you,

269
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,300
'cause if your parents
found out that you snuck out

270
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,261
to the wizard world,
then I'd be in big trouble.

271
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,263
I know you.

272
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,724
You're Alex Russo's brother.

273
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:33,436
- My name is Justin.
- Yeah, I know.

274
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,688
But it's more fun to call you
Alex Russo's brother.

275
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:37,441
You get all angry.

276
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,319
- You know Nigel Dragonberry?
- Yeah.

277
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,239
Alex used to compete against him
in Battle of the Wands.

278
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,867
Why are you talking
to these losers, Dad?

279
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,453
Nigel's your dad?
Well, that makes sense.

280
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:52,790
You've got Nepo Wizard
written all over you.

281
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,166
You're just jealous

282
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,086
'cause I'm Xantastic
and you're not.

283
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,170
"Xantastic"?

284
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,298
He keeps trying
to make it a thing.

285
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,594
- Come on, kids. Let's just go.
- Oh, probably for the best.

286
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,763
If Alex Russo's brother
trained you,

287
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:11,141
you wouldn't stand
a chance against my son.

288
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,646
Hey, Alex Russo's brother
is a great teacher.

289
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,523
It's Justin!

290
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,025
And thank you.

291
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:24,195
That's right, Billie. Walk away.
All you'll ever be

292
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,615
is the screw-up
who couldn't cut it at WizTech.

293
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:32,329
- Hey, just ignore them.
- Why? Xander's right.

294
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:34,832
Is that what you think?

295
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,001
Because you got
kicked out of WizTech?

296
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,085
Just 'cause you screwed up,

297
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:41,046
that does not make you
a screw-up.

298
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,214
And just 'cause Nigel
won a competition,

299
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,050
that does not make him a winner.

300
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:48,345
Who you are is up to you.

301
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,431
Understand?

302
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:55,019
Yeah. I think I do.

303
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,396
But, taking down those jerks

304
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:00,733
would make me feel
so much better.

305
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:05,195
Then let's take down
those jerks. All right.

306
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,699
Russos versus Dragonberrys.

307
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,074
Hi.

308
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,827
Just to be clear, Russos
does not include me, right?

309
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,247
- No.
- Sitting it out!

310
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,126
My fellow magical beings,

311
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:22,462
we have a special treat
for you tonight.

312
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:25,758
A Battle Royale of the Wands!

313
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:35,225
We have
an Ultimate Spell Master,

314
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:39,563
two young wizards,
and Alex Russo's brother.

315
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,484
- Does everyone call me that?
- Yes.

316
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:47,987
You know the rules.
Each spell cast has to start

317
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:50,615
with the last word
of your opponent's spell.

318
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:56,246
Let the battle begin!

319
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,707
Let's do this.

320
00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:03,044
Day by day I will not tire,
summon now a ball of fire!

321
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,673
Ooh!

322
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:10,928
Fire here no longer glows,
from a rain cloud, water flows!

323
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,687
Boom! Xantastic!

324
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,523
No pressure, but these guys
are playing to win.

325
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:24,858
That's all the pressure.

326
00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:30,656
Hammer!

327
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,449
- Serpent!
- Cannonball!

328
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,118
Lightning Blast!

329
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,497
Oh!

330
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:04,523
- Go, Dad.
- Go, Billie.

331
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:06,274
I'm glad you're having fun,

332
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,901
even if you didn't meet up
with Iggy.

333
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:11,988
Yeah. Maybe the universe didn't
want me to find her, you know?

334
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:14,950
If it did, she'd be
standing right next to me.

335
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,369
It's you.

336
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:19,538
It's you.

337
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,832
Third-wheeling it again.

338
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,044
Sandwich make!

339
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,715
- Ooh.
- The word is make, easy.

340
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,885
I did a make spell
back in '04, and in '05...

341
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,720
...and definitely in '07.

342
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:39,348
Roman,
you snuck out of your house

343
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:41,893
- just to find this girl.
- Aw, you did?

344
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:42,978
Uh-huh.

345
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,648
And you've been looking
for her all night?

346
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,109
- Aw, you have?
- Uh-huh.

347
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:53,614
So, is there anything
you want to say to her?

348
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:55,491
Uh-uh.

349
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,536
Aw. Well, I "uh-uh" you, too.

350
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:02,206
My job here is done.

351
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,374
I'm going to go check out
the merch table.

352
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,877
I don't... I don't know
how it works in...

353
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:10,546
in the... in the wizard world,
but us... us mortals, we...

354
00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:12,340
we have these devices
that we can use to...

355
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,424
to keep in touch.

356
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,927
Want me to put my number
in your phone?

357
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,178
Yes, please.

358
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,223
Make appear with sight and sound

359
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,558
an instrument
that's big and round.

360
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:26,563
We need to figure out
a way to stump them.

361
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,441
I got it. Okay.

362
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,901
Round me up a doll of plastic

363
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:35,447
with party dress and hair, fantastic.

364
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:39,952
Get ready to lose.

365
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,830
Xantastic roar
and claws to fear,

366
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,833
make a lion now appear.

367
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:50,753
Why didn't the spell work?

368
00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:53,214
Because you said "Xantastic"
instead of "fantastic."

369
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,842
I told you that is not a word.

370
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,177
I didn't mean to.
It's my catchphrase.

371
00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:00,179
Well, catchphrases are dumb,
and you would know that

372
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,432
if you were... the man.

373
00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:06,436
And Billie and Justin win!

374
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,609
Did you hear that?

375
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:15,237
- Yeah, we won!
- No, he called me Justin!

376
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,789
Xander, that was pathetic.

377
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:29,835
You are a disgrace
to the Dragonberry name.

378
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:36,592
Here, Xander.

379
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,052
Seems like you need this
more than I do.

380
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:43,432
Really? Wow. Thanks, Billie.

381
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,768
Dad! Check it out!

382
00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:50,981
Doesn't matter how I got it,
but we're leaving with a trophy!

383
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:52,858
I love you, son.

384
00:19:57,654 --> 00:19:59,531
That was nice,
what you did there.

385
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,950
Eh, a trophy
isn't gonna change anything.

386
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,620
Also, I didn't think
he'd actually take it.

387
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:13,586
{\an8}I can't wait to wear this cool
"I survived the wizard world

388
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,631
{\an8}"and all I got
was this T-shirt," T-shirt.

389
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,341
Yeah, you can't really
wear that around mortals

390
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,385
or else everyone will know
about wizards.

391
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:22,678
You're right.
I'll wear it inside out.

392
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,264
I'll know what it says.

393
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:27,434
Well, thanks for the fun day
I'm not allowed to talk about.

394
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:33,357
You know
what I'm gonna say next.

395
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:34,650
I know.

396
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:37,778
Just because I screwed up
doesn't make me a screw-up.

397
00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,197
Try again.

398
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,492
You're taking our phones
for two weeks.

399
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:44,952
I thought I said a week.

400
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:48,497
- No, you definitely said two.
- Billie, dude, stop talking.

401
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:54,461
Ah, you got a text
from someone named Iggy.

402
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:56,295
Really? What does it say?

403
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:58,799
Here, I'll show you.
In two weeks.

404
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,094
I'm so full,

405
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,304
I'm gonna be burping
butter noodles for a month.

406
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:07,098
You guys went
to the Pasta Palace without me?

407
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,349
We also got ice cream.

408
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,852
Milo, dude, stop talking.