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Many people...

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they don't like the idea

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that monsters really exist.

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Monsters are born from stories, right?

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I'm the boogeyman on the bed,

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that thing in the dark that comes
and take away the naughty children.

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if they don't go to bed in
time and they don't fall asleep.

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They are evoked in a story
exciting around the fire,

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but they don't really exist.

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Werewolves and vampires
and all those things.

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But actually monsters
they exist. And they have human form.

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It's us...

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My name is Sam Vaknin.

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In 1995 I created the first website

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on narcissism, on pathological narcissism.

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I set up the first six groups
of support for victims of

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narcissistic abuse. «Abuse
narcissistic" is an expression

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which I coined in 1995.

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I have published academic articles
and I teach at various universities.

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I had written and published
a book, Malignant Self-love

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Narcissism Revisited.

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It is now in its tenth edition.

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In this sense, if we want,
I'm the grandfather of all this.

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Ironically, I'm a narcissist,

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so I live with it every day
with my disorder.

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It is, if you will, a cancer
that pervades the soul.

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I think there was a phase in my life
in which I was a malignant narcissist,

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an old-fashioned term for what
today we call a psychopathic narcissist.

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I was very rich. I had a private jet

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I was a vain twenty-year-old.

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I bought a bank,

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and then I manipulated the
the bank's shares rise.

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And this, of course, is a crime.

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So I went to prison.

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Out of prison, I have
decided to try to change.

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I began to dedicate myself to education

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of victims of narcissistic abuse.

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But in fact I worked as a healer.

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I feel like I can accomplish things.

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I feel like I'm making a difference.

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I would have been able to be good

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What if I wasn't the bad guy?

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I do not believe.

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I think I'll be the bad guy
prepared to be good.

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Maybe there is a moral.

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A lesson.

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In the world we live in now,

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narcissism, the
narcissistic personality,

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is encouraged.

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He is rewarded.

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The message, above all
for young people, it is:

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If you are a narcissist,

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you will end up at the top.

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you'll end up rich,

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famous and powerful.

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They can help you get appointments.

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It can help you get elected.

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It can help you like people
people when they get to know you.

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Narcissistic people
they earn more.

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Narcissists are more likely
to hold managerial roles.

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They are also more likely to get

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the partner they want.

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So, in a way, they win.

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Narcissism is invading every area.

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World leaders, business leaders,

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leader among celebrities,
healthcare professionals,

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therapists. In any field.

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Politics, entertainment,

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mass media, the family unit,

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the community, the church,

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and so on.

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It's everywhere.

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My name is Isla Traquair

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and I'm a journalist from
when I was 16,

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specialized in crime news.

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Hello and welcome. I'm Isla Traquair.

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Police say he hasn't
further reduced searches.

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My podcast is number one.

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I am known as a journalist
of crime news.

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I have worked all over the world,

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and I have faced many assassins.

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Mr. Hardison, answer the question.

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Did he kill his ex-boyfriend, Paige?

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I would say I have met

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a higher than average number
of narcissists in my life.

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But this case I'm in
currently investigating

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It's a little more unusual. Not
he's a killer, in and of himself.

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His victims are alive,

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but they were completely annihilated.

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Abuse them psychologically
and physically.

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And I think that's the kind of
most dangerous narcissist.

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I must try to prevent this man

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to harm other women.

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And I don't know how he would react

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if and when he finally understood.

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Will it maintain the façade?

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Or will he collapse and react violently?

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I do not know.

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Narcissism is a style of
characterized personality

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by a constant lack of empathy,

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sense of entitlement, grandiosity, arrogance.

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This kind of inflated ego,

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sense of personal importance,

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sense of entitlement.

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I'm better than you. I am superior to you.

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They have an excessive need for admiration

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and to be appreciated and adored.

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The tendency to have fits of anger.

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They are not based on respect
and on compassion

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and on long-term coherence,

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in fact they tend to be flashes in the pan

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and to serve pleasure
personal of the narcissist

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or a short-term interest.

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Basically, we're talking about an asshole.

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Hi, my name is H.G. Tudor.

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I'm a psychopath
diagnosed narcissist.

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I use a pseudonym,

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H.G. Tudor, to avoid complications

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with my private and professional life,

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This allows me to act without constraints,

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to tell everyone the vision
of my world and that of my peers,

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and explain all behaviors,

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so that they can understand them better.

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Why reveal to the world i
secrets of my peers?

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It simply allows me
to control people.

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Draw the "fuel" towards me
and it's part of the legacy I leave.

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It won't cause me any problems. Many ask me:

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«H.G., why are you spreading
all this information?

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It won't be difficult for you anymore
find victims?”

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Answer: no. There are a lot of them
good at what I do.

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I was a victim of physical abuse,
emotional and sexual as a child.

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The main antagonists were my mother,

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my uncle and my aunt.

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But I soon learned that by imitating

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most of the things they did,

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I could inflict the same things on others.

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Lots of people's background stories
narcissistic are painful.

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They are traumatic stories, of
neglect, abuse and loneliness.

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They did not receive good care
parental. For the narcissistic person,

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the whole life

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has a single mission:

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create a fortress around yourself

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so that everything remains buried forever.

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And what better way to do it than money?

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Candies? Being attractive?

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Being famous?

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Things that make you pop
to the world like a superhero.

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Narcissism really is

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a maladaptive model

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of self-loathing.

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And from four years old, for example
the following twelve years,

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I suffered physical abuse every day

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in potentially lethal ways,
with tools and objects,

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and I always ended up covered in blood.

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Besides that, there were
psychological and verbal abuse.

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How could I defend myself
from a murderous mother?

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I packed a small backpack,

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and I ran away from home,

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I knocked on doors and
I asked: "Do you want to adopt me?"

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But no one wanted to do it.

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While many narcissistic people

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have a history of childhood abuse,

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trauma or negligence,
this is not an excuse

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because a proportion
much larger number of people

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who experienced those conditions
adverse during childhood

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they don't then adopt
narcissistic behaviors

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and harmful behaviors in
compared to other people.

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My name is Richard Grannon.

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I am a psychologist and I help people

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to protect themselves from psychological predators.

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I currently work from Liverpool

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and throughout Europe.

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I grew up in an environment that,

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to put it mildly, it wasn't easy

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for a child to feel safe.

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It was emotional abuse,
psychological, physical and sexual.

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My father is a violent man.

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I mean, he's a sick man,
a criminal psychopath.

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And he ended up in prison for
having abused his children.

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Around the age of 21 I was about to enter
in the army as an officer,

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and before the final test, which was the CPR,

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I was in a club.

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I went to a gay club with
my friends and their girlfriends,

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a man headbutted me and hit me
from glass to eye, thinking I'm gay.

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But I'm not.

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But he had come in specifically to do so.

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I couldn't conceive that
someone, in cold blood,

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could go out with the intent to do
hurt someone like that.

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I knew in theory that it existed,

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but face it like this
it directly shocked me.

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Following that experience,

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I became very interested in
try to answer the question,

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what the fuck is wrong with people?

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They never had me
applauded at the entrance, Sam.

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They weren't applauding you.
They are applauding me.

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Ladies and gentlemen,

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today we have the pleasure of having of
new with us Mr. Sam Vaknin.

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Thanks for the invitation, Richard.
My pleasure, your honor.

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I love working with Sam and
hold conferences with him.

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His insights are
original and very clear.

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And it gets to the heart of the matter.

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We'll look into it

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the latest ideas of
Dr. Professor Sam Vaknin.

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It will be revolutionary.

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I do my best
to avoid people,

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because I pity them.

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But Richard is in contact with them,

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so it's kind of mine
link with the outside world.

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Together we make a great team.

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I'll describe how I target

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one woman in particular.

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Why do I choose one,

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or nine?

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A?

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Well, it bleeds.

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I'm a shark.

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I'm a predator.

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Yes. I have a map of you.

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About you in particular.

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At this moment.

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I have a map of all of you.

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So I know who

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he's bleeding,

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who is broken,

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who is damaged,

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who is vulnerable,

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who is open to attack,

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who is open to intrusion,

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who is open to conquest,

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who is open to the subtraction of the mind,

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who is willing to merge and unite with me,

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who is willing to
share my fantasy

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in the sense that she is willing,

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willing, eager

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suspend reality,

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to suspend reality and go with me

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in the Twilight Zone,

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in the abyss

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of my mind,

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because my mind is
a very dark place

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and to some extent dangerous.

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And it takes a certain type of person.

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And therefore,

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when I probe vulnerabilities,

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I divide them into two groups.

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There are those who are vulnerable,

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but they try to heal,

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vulnerable,

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broken, damaged,

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traumatized, injured.

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But they want to heal,

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e

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this is a fundamental insight.

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There are some of you

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who are suffering,

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in pain,

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bleeding,

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and you want war.

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You want more.

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You want me to destroy you.

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Why do you hate yourselves,

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because you are self-destructive,

263
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,333
why do you denigrate yourselves,

264
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,375
because you punish yourself.

265
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:13,708
I am your instrument of destruction.

266
00:13:13,708 --> 00:13:15,875
It's like a suicide by Vaknin.

267
00:13:20,416 --> 00:13:21,875
Narcissism is a strange thing.

268
00:13:21,875 --> 00:13:23,541
Many people see it
like black or white.

269
00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:25,791
Either you are or you aren't.
But it's not that simple.

270
00:13:25,791 --> 00:13:28,500
It actually ranks on one
spectrum, on a continuum.

271
00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:30,041
At the lowest end,

272
00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:32,333
let's find someone who can be

273
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,125
very needy in
interpersonal relationships.

274
00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:35,458
They are very superficial.

275
00:13:35,458 --> 00:13:37,250
They are, so to speak, i
social media narcissists.

276
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,791
Usually these people
they are not dangerous.

277
00:13:39,791 --> 00:13:41,666
They tend to be annoying.

278
00:13:43,666 --> 00:13:45,708
Most of us who remain

279
00:13:45,708 --> 00:13:47,666
shocked by these
narcissistic relationships

280
00:13:47,666 --> 00:13:49,500
has to do with
mid-range narcissists.

281
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,500
It's actually a real problem.

282
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,291
Their lack of empathy,
the sense of entitlement, their

283
00:13:57,291 --> 00:13:59,750
arrogance, their need to dominate,

284
00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:02,250
they can create marriages
very problematic,

285
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,333
really problematic workplaces,

286
00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:05,916
very toxic friendships.

287
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:09,000
Enough good days to
push people to stay.

288
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,750
Enough bad days
to make others sick.

289
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:17,625
Now, at the opposite end of the
spectrum, the highest and lowest end,

290
00:14:17,625 --> 00:14:20,916
now we're looking at what
we call it malignant narcissism.

291
00:14:20,916 --> 00:14:23,916
Here we enter an area that
it can be really dangerous.

292
00:14:27,791 --> 00:14:30,125
This is where we see a lot more manipulation.

293
00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:32,291
They are more exploitative.

294
00:14:32,291 --> 00:14:34,041
They are more threatening.

295
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,166
Malignant narcissism
borders on psychopathy.

296
00:14:37,166 --> 00:14:39,541
They are right next to each other.

297
00:14:39,541 --> 00:14:41,250
The difference, however, is that

298
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:43,458
psychopathic people,

299
00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:45,375
they feel no remorse.

300
00:14:45,375 --> 00:14:49,041
So the malignant narcissist is
still wearing a mask.

301
00:14:49,625 --> 00:14:51,958
The psychopath has not
need a mask.

302
00:14:58,416 --> 00:15:00,333
Narcissists target people.

303
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,416
how viruses target people.

304
00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:06,500
I infect you. I force them
your cells to replicate me.

305
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:08,375
I take control of your mind.

306
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,291
And from that moment, in your mind,

307
00:15:10,291 --> 00:15:11,541
my goals become yours,

308
00:15:11,541 --> 00:15:13,000
my emotions become yours.

309
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,666
We merged. Let's become
a single organism.

310
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,375
I can become anyone.

311
00:15:19,791 --> 00:15:21,500
And I become anyone.

312
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:23,500
I'm a chameleon. I'm Zelig.

313
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:25,833
And why I have this ability
to become anyone

314
00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:27,000
at any time

315
00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:28,916
tailored to yours

316
00:15:29,166 --> 00:15:30,791
menu, I am irresistible to you.

317
00:15:31,291 --> 00:15:32,375
I am you.

318
00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,541
My name is Evan Rachel Wood,

319
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:46,666
and I'm an artist

320
00:15:46,666 --> 00:15:49,166
and an activist and survivor.

321
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,666
I grew up in Raleigh,
in North Carolina,

322
00:15:53,666 --> 00:15:56,375
in a very artistic community.

323
00:15:56,375 --> 00:15:58,666
I grew up in the theater community,

324
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,625
as can happen in
artistic communities.

325
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:04,166
As a child I was also
surrounded by a lot of narcissism

326
00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:06,166
and manipulation as a child.

327
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,916
I think I've internalized a lot of that

328
00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:10,208
until you become a person
who tried to please everyone

329
00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:12,166
to protect me.

330
00:16:12,541 --> 00:16:14,000
Looking back,

331
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,000
I can absolutely see

332
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,541
that I never was as a child
was truly seen in depth.

333
00:16:21,125 --> 00:16:22,583
Marilyn Manson.

334
00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:24,291
Also known as Brian Warner, he is

335
00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:26,041
one of

336
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:29,416
most successful figures and
known in the history of rock.

337
00:16:29,416 --> 00:16:31,416
A man who doesn't have
need introductions,

338
00:16:31,416 --> 00:16:32,791
a musician with platinum records.

339
00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:35,458
Grammy Nominated Artist,
great rock icon.

340
00:16:37,166 --> 00:16:38,916
The night we met,

341
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:41,166
I was 18 years old,

342
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:44,833
and Brian Warner was 37 years old.

343
00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:48,625
He immediately started with sentences like:

344
00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:51,000
“No one really sees you, right?”

345
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,375
How did he understand it?

346
00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:53,250
He understood it.

347
00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:54,500
I felt that way.

348
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:56,791
And I felt alone and invisible.

349
00:16:56,791 --> 00:16:58,416
He immediately started exploiting it,

350
00:16:58,416 --> 00:17:00,375
immediately saying things like, “Me

351
00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:02,750
I love you, we are soul mates. And this

352
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:04,500
it's special, it's different.

353
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:06,000
We are destined to be together.

354
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,125
I don't care what happens
nor what people think."

355
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:10,583
And he said

356
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,125
“You should come live with me,” like,

357
00:17:13,916 --> 00:17:15,500
right away.

358
00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:21,125
Before the physical abuse began,

359
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,166
I was already trapped.

360
00:17:23,166 --> 00:17:25,541
He already checked when I was sleeping.

361
00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:28,375
And what I wore and when I ate.

362
00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:30,791
He sent his assistants to follow me,

363
00:17:30,791 --> 00:17:32,583
and to send him photos of it
what I was doing, so he knew

364
00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:33,916
where I was.

365
00:17:33,916 --> 00:17:38,125
Then the situation deteriorated
in sleep deprivation.

366
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:40,291
if I tried to sleep,

367
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:42,375
he forced me to hire
drugs to stay awake.

368
00:17:43,041 --> 00:17:45,333
And that's when it all happened
really, really, really dark.

369
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:50,708
He made me kneel down

370
00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:52,458
on a kneeler

371
00:17:52,458 --> 00:17:54,041
in a prayer position

372
00:17:54,625 --> 00:17:55,750
and tied me up

373
00:17:56,625 --> 00:18:01,041
and whipped me repeatedly,
giving me electric shocks.

374
00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:04,000
He put me in front of
a television screen.

375
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,916
Do you understand? Well, this was happening.

376
00:18:06,916 --> 00:18:10,500
And on the screen in front of
me, while I was kneeling,

377
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,500
there are violent images.

378
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:18,041
There was a girl who
he cut his wrist.

379
00:18:18,041 --> 00:18:21,041
And I didn't understand why he had me
placed in front of the screen.

380
00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:23,625
He only projected violence,

381
00:18:23,625 --> 00:18:26,000
while violence
was committed on me.

382
00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:29,791
Later, reading texts on sects,

383
00:18:29,791 --> 00:18:33,041
I read that it's a technique
of brainwashing.

384
00:18:33,041 --> 00:18:34,916
It's a tactic.

385
00:18:34,916 --> 00:18:38,875
It makes it harder to remember

386
00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:42,041
the aggression.

387
00:18:48,875 --> 00:18:51,375
He was always abusing people
around him, in serious ways

388
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:53,750
and in less obvious ways.

389
00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:56,916
He always said: «I am
stupid enough to fall for it.

390
00:18:56,916 --> 00:18:58,583
Then they deserve it."

391
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:02,416
To walk away and admit that I was being abused

392
00:19:02,416 --> 00:19:05,125
it meant admitting
that I was stupid,

393
00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:06,583
and it was

394
00:19:07,458 --> 00:19:09,375
so that attracted me from the beginning:

395
00:19:09,375 --> 00:19:11,250
making me think I'm very intelligent.

396
00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:13,166
Excuse me.

397
00:19:13,166 --> 00:19:15,125
It's just... I realized it just now.

398
00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:27,666
So yes, I think I am
felt really stupid, you know?

399
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,833
I am very ashamed.

400
00:19:32,875 --> 00:19:35,041
So I didn't want to tell anyone.

401
00:19:37,916 --> 00:19:39,833
So I didn't.

402
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:41,833
For a long time.

403
00:19:46,041 --> 00:19:48,708
Once upon a time the panorama was photographed,

404
00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:50,666
or you asked someone
to take the camera

405
00:19:50,666 --> 00:19:52,500
and take a photo of
you and your partner.

406
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:56,500
They didn't bomb each other
everyone with 100 photos of themselves,

407
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:59,500
with duckbill lips
and a stupid expression.

408
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,500
in front of every monument
and panorama never visited.

409
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:05,541
It's a trend started by narcissists

410
00:20:05,541 --> 00:20:08,333
which exploits the trait
narcissistic of vanity.

411
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:12,666
The platforms born above all
via social media

412
00:20:12,666 --> 00:20:15,041
they appeal precisely to our type

413
00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:17,916
in the sense that all
others embrace them,

414
00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:21,916
making it more acceptable
for us, the true narcissists,

415
00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:24,250
behave narcissistically.

416
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:25,875
But it is not seen as such.

417
00:20:30,875 --> 00:20:32,625
The younger generation
now he's really coping

418
00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:34,416
a fight

419
00:20:34,416 --> 00:20:36,250
with the construction of the false self.

420
00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:38,125
Children are taught

421
00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:40,250
that their value depends on

422
00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:41,958
how many likes they receive,

423
00:20:41,958 --> 00:20:43,708
how many followers they have,

424
00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:45,666
essentially, from theirs

425
00:20:45,666 --> 00:20:48,166
I wait. My team is on
social media because he won the trophy.

426
00:20:48,166 --> 00:20:49,916
Where will you go on holiday?

427
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,416
Look at me in my new dress.

428
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,791
They get more and more likes and
more and more followers and then:

429
00:20:53,791 --> 00:20:57,083
“Ah, maybe being self-centered is good.”

430
00:20:57,083 --> 00:21:01,250
Due to excessive abundance
of narcissists on social media,

431
00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:05,125
when you open a social network
and you look at it, you say:

432
00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:07,541
“My God, the world is full of narcissists.”

433
00:21:07,541 --> 00:21:10,041
We live in a narcissistic hell.

434
00:21:10,041 --> 00:21:12,250
Look at these clowns.
I can't believe it.

435
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:15,291
And while you're doomscrolling,
watch the world burn.

436
00:21:22,666 --> 00:21:25,500
My name is Lee Hammock. I'm a
self-aware narcissist.

437
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:28,541
I was clinically diagnosed
narcissistic personality disorder.

438
00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:32,375
I record my TikToks here
and videos for YouTube.

439
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:35,791
I'll put the background here,
I fix the lights and leave.

440
00:21:35,791 --> 00:21:37,666
My YouTube channel has 474,000 subscribers.

441
00:21:37,666 --> 00:21:39,500
My Instagram has 536,000 followers

442
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:40,750
at this moment. Where are we?

443
00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:44,083
We have 1.9 million people on mine
TikTok page, which is kind of crazy.

444
00:21:44,083 --> 00:21:45,250
And I'm like, "What!?"

445
00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:49,541
You absolutely have to stay
100%, be careful

446
00:21:49,541 --> 00:21:50,958
when one is injured
narcissistic person,

447
00:21:50,958 --> 00:21:53,250
because revenge is sweet

448
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:55,458
for most narcissists
and also toxic people.

449
00:21:55,458 --> 00:21:58,291
People will ask:
“How long does revenge last?”

450
00:21:58,291 --> 00:22:00,291
There absolutely isn't
no time limit

451
00:22:00,291 --> 00:22:02,250
to the duration of
revenge of a narcissist.

452
00:22:02,250 --> 00:22:03,041
I hope it is useful.

453
00:22:07,166 --> 00:22:10,750
If I had to imagine what happened to me
made narcissistic, I would say this:

454
00:22:10,750 --> 00:22:13,791
emotional neglect and, you know,

455
00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,916
practically problems of
abandonment and things like that.

456
00:22:16,916 --> 00:22:19,750
My father was not the father
that I needed.

457
00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:22,250
We saw him around
the city and things like that.

458
00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:24,041
He went around having children

459
00:22:24,041 --> 00:22:26,625
and to have other children of which
he didn't take care, you know,

460
00:22:27,291 --> 00:22:28,875
I always wonder why,

461
00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:30,708
whatever I did,
I wasn't good enough

462
00:22:30,708 --> 00:22:32,833
to gain this man's approval.

463
00:22:33,166 --> 00:22:34,875
I actually have a twin brother.

464
00:22:34,875 --> 00:22:37,375
Same house, same environment.
But he's not like me.

465
00:22:37,375 --> 00:22:39,000
In a certain sense I
I'm emotionally closed,

466
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,083
but he's, you know, a super emotional guy.

467
00:22:41,083 --> 00:22:43,166
He likes working with children.
He is happy in what he does.

468
00:22:43,166 --> 00:22:46,125
I'm a little jealous of hers
happiness. Like, why are you happy?

469
00:22:50,416 --> 00:22:53,375
Good afternoon everyone. Happy Friday.

470
00:22:53,375 --> 00:22:58,000
I decided to become a teacher
because I wanted to make a difference.

471
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:02,041
Do you remember breathing in class?
You are controlling your emotions.

472
00:23:02,041 --> 00:23:04,458
You're having too much fun and leaving
you are forgotten, right? Yes! Yes.

473
00:23:04,458 --> 00:23:05,458
It happens, it happens.

474
00:23:05,875 --> 00:23:07,958
I love bonding with them.

475
00:23:08,250 --> 00:23:09,166
This is my happy place.

476
00:23:17,791 --> 00:23:19,375
Not having my father around.

477
00:23:19,375 --> 00:23:23,458
At first I was like, well, why
my father doesn't want to stay with us?

478
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:28,708
But as I grew up I accepted it,
and that made me better.

479
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,375
He didn't feel the love
of our father and I think

480
00:23:32,375 --> 00:23:35,083
that this still weighs on him today.

481
00:23:35,666 --> 00:23:40,291
They have always defined us: me
the good one, he the bad one.

482
00:23:41,625 --> 00:23:45,250
I'm a super optimistic person.
I'm always in a good mood.

483
00:23:45,250 --> 00:23:47,958
I always look at things positively.

484
00:23:48,750 --> 00:23:50,333
Yes, but.

485
00:23:57,250 --> 00:24:00,458
I feel a deep connection with
the place where I am.

486
00:24:01,125 --> 00:24:04,416
Like you feel me now
connected to the lake out here.

487
00:24:04,416 --> 00:24:07,875
It seems to me that he is calling me: "Take a dive."

488
00:24:08,541 --> 00:24:11,166
But, you know, I try to connect to

489
00:24:11,166 --> 00:24:13,583
wherever I am and just enjoy it.

490
00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:18,625
Well, I on the other hand... I don't feel it. Not
I feel like I have time to connect.

491
00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:21,791
I see the lake and think:
«I need a boat here»,

492
00:24:21,791 --> 00:24:23,791
do you know? Why don't I have a boat?

493
00:24:23,791 --> 00:24:26,500
It's as if quiet doesn't exist for me.

494
00:24:34,125 --> 00:24:39,250
I was surprised at
learn over the course of 25 years that

495
00:24:39,250 --> 00:24:42,875
personality characteristics
that I learned to deal with

496
00:24:42,875 --> 00:24:45,166
jails and prisons

497
00:24:45,166 --> 00:24:47,458
they are actually becoming

498
00:24:47,458 --> 00:24:51,875
most common among business executives
and senior politicians.

499
00:24:51,875 --> 00:24:54,166
This alarms me greatly

500
00:24:54,166 --> 00:24:57,791
and it says a lot about the state of
health of our society,

501
00:24:57,791 --> 00:25:02,000
because healthy societies would not be
attracted to these individuals.

502
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,458
And indeed, 25 years ago, they mostly were

503
00:25:04,458 --> 00:25:07,166
confined to prisons and jails

504
00:25:07,166 --> 00:25:11,083
or at least not admitted to roles
of high-level leadership.

505
00:25:14,875 --> 00:25:18,375
Narcissism predicts
the emergence of leadership figures.

506
00:25:18,375 --> 00:25:21,833
Narcissists want to lead because
being a leader gives power, status,

507
00:25:21,833 --> 00:25:24,875
attention and access to
everything. So that's great.

508
00:25:24,875 --> 00:25:26,416
And they are confident they can do it

509
00:25:26,416 --> 00:25:27,708
because they have the ego to think,

510
00:25:27,708 --> 00:25:30,000
yes, I can handle this
better than anyone else.

511
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,250
And they act.

512
00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:32,500
They jump right in.

513
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:35,500
It's interesting: there are a lot of them
perceptive in social relationships,

514
00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:38,750
which can make them
extraordinary communicators.

515
00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:41,750
Many dictators, such as Hitler and Mussolini,

516
00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:44,375
they knew how to control crowds;

517
00:25:44,375 --> 00:25:47,000
think of Napoleon or Genghis Khan.

518
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:51,000
Unfortunately, the history books
they tell the stories much more often

519
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:55,125
of narcissistic people who
good, kind and compassionate ones.

520
00:25:55,125 --> 00:25:57,083
Because narcissistic people

521
00:25:57,083 --> 00:26:00,375
they always have and probably have
they will always make history.

522
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,916
To get to the top, you have to be
made of our own dough.

523
00:26:04,916 --> 00:26:07,375
Politics, of course, is
the greatest example of this.

524
00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:11,375
It is a real den of vipers, infested
from the beginning by people like that,

525
00:26:11,375 --> 00:26:14,291
because that's where huge quantities are found
of power and access to residual benefits,

526
00:26:14,291 --> 00:26:15,791
such as contacts, money and lifestyle,

527
00:26:15,791 --> 00:26:18,250
all this is very attractive to people like me.

528
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:23,250
People look around and say,

529
00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:26,041
my God, we are governed
by narcissists, psychopaths.

530
00:26:26,041 --> 00:26:27,125
How can this be?

531
00:26:27,125 --> 00:26:28,666
Well, we elected them all.

532
00:26:29,916 --> 00:26:33,708
They find people more
outcasts of the group,

533
00:26:33,708 --> 00:26:37,125
and feed theirs
impotence telling them,

534
00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:40,125
“You are actually powerful and I love you.”

535
00:26:40,125 --> 00:26:43,750
Many people trade
the cruelty of the narcissist

536
00:26:43,750 --> 00:26:45,583
out of enormous determination.

537
00:26:45,583 --> 00:26:49,583
That message takes
the marginalized person

538
00:26:49,583 --> 00:26:52,875
and instills in her a completely blind faith

539
00:26:52,875 --> 00:26:55,625
in this narcissistic and violent leader.

540
00:26:55,625 --> 00:26:59,750
If you live in a country governed by a
narcissist, your life is at risk.

541
00:26:59,750 --> 00:27:01,416
What if narcissists take control

542
00:27:01,416 --> 00:27:04,750
in every possible way,
the species is at risk.

543
00:27:05,375 --> 00:27:08,166
It's not about one detail
political party,

544
00:27:08,166 --> 00:27:09,625
nor a part of the deployment.

545
00:27:09,625 --> 00:27:12,583
It is an endemic phenomenon
in leadership roles.

546
00:27:17,875 --> 00:27:21,250
Tell me what you went through with this man?

547
00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:25,333
For seven years, I have been in contact

548
00:27:25,333 --> 00:27:28,083
with an extremely dangerous person

549
00:27:28,666 --> 00:27:31,666
who presented himself to me as a therapist.

550
00:27:31,666 --> 00:27:35,166
What state would you say you were in when
you had the first contact, and which one

551
00:27:35,166 --> 00:27:38,500
was his prediction of
what did you need?

552
00:27:38,791 --> 00:27:41,125
I was in very bad condition.

553
00:27:41,625 --> 00:27:44,625
I was in a serious personal crisis
and I was looking for help.

554
00:27:44,625 --> 00:27:49,416
And this first session is
finished with his verdict.

555
00:27:49,625 --> 00:27:53,375
You are extremely sick. You're sick.

556
00:27:53,375 --> 00:27:54,500
You need help.

557
00:27:55,083 --> 00:27:56,750
If you want to heal,

558
00:27:56,750 --> 00:27:58,041
here I am.

559
00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:00,833
I will be your healer, your repairer.

560
00:28:00,833 --> 00:28:03,666
Lean on me. I'll help you.

561
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,250
My therapy sessions
they took place very often.

562
00:28:07,250 --> 00:28:10,583
It started twice a week,
then three times a week,

563
00:28:10,583 --> 00:28:12,333
then four times a week.

564
00:28:12,791 --> 00:28:16,541
Looking back now, at
so-called therapeutic process,

565
00:28:16,541 --> 00:28:19,666
I realize that not
had ever been therapy,

566
00:28:19,666 --> 00:28:23,333
but a bunch of washing techniques
of the brain and mental control.

567
00:28:23,666 --> 00:28:27,458
He acted on false grounds because
he is not a therapist at all

568
00:28:27,625 --> 00:28:30,500
He has no legitimate credentials.

569
00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:34,166
He extorted a lot of money from me.

570
00:28:34,166 --> 00:28:37,458
I finally ended up
pay him all my savings.

571
00:28:42,791 --> 00:28:45,666
I could never have imagined
what would follow.

572
00:28:51,791 --> 00:28:55,250
Grandiose narcissism
that's almost what I call it

573
00:28:55,250 --> 00:28:57,666
classic textbook narcissism.

574
00:28:57,666 --> 00:29:02,250
Look at me: a narcissist without
empathy and unpleasant.

575
00:29:02,250 --> 00:29:03,750
This is grandiose narcissism.

576
00:29:03,750 --> 00:29:06,291
Grandiose narcissists are abusive.

577
00:29:06,291 --> 00:29:07,416
They know who they are.

578
00:29:07,416 --> 00:29:11,000
They just want to be noticed
and receive approval.

579
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,416
This is where you see your leaders,

580
00:29:13,416 --> 00:29:15,958
your politicians, your leaders
of the cult, all these people.

581
00:29:15,958 --> 00:29:17,791
That's what people think.

582
00:29:17,791 --> 00:29:21,750
But much of it is overlooked in this way
of the panorama of narcissism. And that is

583
00:29:21,750 --> 00:29:25,250
something called vulnerable narcissism.

584
00:29:28,041 --> 00:29:30,666
Vulnerable narcissists, at first glance,

585
00:29:30,666 --> 00:29:33,500
they seem socially incompetent.

586
00:29:33,500 --> 00:29:35,458
They definitely don't have that

587
00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:37,791
charisma and that swagger
of the grandiose narcissist.

588
00:29:37,791 --> 00:29:40,000
You come across someone vulnerable,

589
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,166
and they always think: «The people
looks down on me."

590
00:29:43,166 --> 00:29:47,250
or they threaten me, then
they can get angry easily.

591
00:29:47,250 --> 00:29:51,166
So there really is an anger
dark in the vulnerable narcissist.

592
00:29:51,166 --> 00:29:54,166
You talk to someone, you think it's a
a little depressed, and suddenly you say to yourself,

593
00:29:54,166 --> 00:29:55,625
wow, there's an ego in there.

594
00:29:55,625 --> 00:29:57,375
I didn't know it was there
huge ego in there.

595
00:29:57,375 --> 00:30:01,000
Both forms, great
and vulnerable, they are toxic.

596
00:30:07,041 --> 00:30:08,875
Hi, my name is Sarah Crowson.

597
00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:11,333
I am a self-aware narcissist.

598
00:30:12,750 --> 00:30:14,250
Female narcissists

599
00:30:14,250 --> 00:30:15,750
they are thinner

600
00:30:15,750 --> 00:30:18,750
because we are the damsels in distress.

601
00:30:19,166 --> 00:30:21,791
All men want to save us.

602
00:30:21,791 --> 00:30:24,125
You're so easy

603
00:30:24,125 --> 00:30:26,666
to manipulate. It's ridiculous.

604
00:30:27,708 --> 00:30:30,000
Oh, my tire has
need to be changed.

605
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,333
Will you change my tire?

606
00:30:33,041 --> 00:30:37,250
In my childhood, not
there was unconditional love.

607
00:30:37,250 --> 00:30:38,708
What the fuck is that?

608
00:30:39,500 --> 00:30:45,166
One thing that reminds me of this is
my sister and my favorite movie,

609
00:30:45,166 --> 00:30:46,250
Mommie Dearest.

610
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,416
Yes, Mommie Dearest.

611
00:30:49,416 --> 00:30:52,208
Because we watched that, and we got drunk

612
00:30:52,208 --> 00:30:56,000
and we laughed and laughed because
that was our mother.

613
00:30:57,166 --> 00:30:59,250
He beat me savagely,
and I didn't care.

614
00:31:03,125 --> 00:31:05,666
I started painting in oils

615
00:31:05,666 --> 00:31:08,541
to tell my ex to fuck off.

616
00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:13,666
I wanted the rest of the
world would compliment me

617
00:31:13,666 --> 00:31:16,000
and for him to see how good I was,

618
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,500
and shit that's damn stupid.

619
00:31:19,625 --> 00:31:22,083
I need to be admired

620
00:31:22,083 --> 00:31:24,083
for everything I do,

621
00:31:24,833 --> 00:31:27,375
and if it looks like shit,

622
00:31:27,375 --> 00:31:29,625
I'll throw it in the trash.

623
00:31:30,250 --> 00:31:33,041
Yes, so I have to be the best, and then

624
00:31:33,041 --> 00:31:35,458
I can post it for my likes.

625
00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:43,458
Being in a relationship
with someone like me,

626
00:31:43,458 --> 00:31:46,250
I am continually reactivated.

627
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,583
When I am reactivated,

628
00:31:48,583 --> 00:31:50,833
you become a threat and

629
00:31:50,833 --> 00:31:52,958
you must be destroyed.

630
00:31:59,666 --> 00:32:02,458
Hi, I'm Barry Sonnenfeld.
Or do you prefer without "hello"?

631
00:32:02,458 --> 00:32:04,458
I'm Barry Sonnenfeld.

632
00:32:05,625 --> 00:32:06,291
Excuse me.

633
00:32:07,416 --> 00:32:11,958
Hi, I'm Barry Sonnenfeld: director,
film producer and author.

634
00:32:12,375 --> 00:32:15,541
I was the director of
photography by Raising Arizona,

635
00:32:15,916 --> 00:32:19,625
Misery, Big, When Harry Met Sally,

636
00:32:19,625 --> 00:32:23,708
and I directed Addams Family,
Get Shorty, Men in Black,

637
00:32:23,708 --> 00:32:26,041
and RV with Robin Williams.

638
00:32:27,125 --> 00:32:28,958
A child needs to be loved.

639
00:32:29,541 --> 00:32:32,791
A child needs to be cared for.

640
00:32:33,333 --> 00:32:36,041
When you have two narcissistic parents,

641
00:32:36,041 --> 00:32:37,916
you are often put in danger.

642
00:32:37,916 --> 00:32:40,041
I mean, I've been
really put in danger

643
00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:43,000
because they were worried
more about themselves than about me.

644
00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:50,583
Both were very
narcissistic, very controlling.

645
00:32:51,250 --> 00:32:54,791
My mother used depression
as a tool.

646
00:32:54,791 --> 00:32:59,125
They told me all the time
that she would commit suicide.

647
00:32:59,500 --> 00:33:02,583
The first time, I was maybe five

648
00:33:02,583 --> 00:33:05,625
years, my father woke me up.
I was fast asleep.

649
00:33:05,625 --> 00:33:09,500
He said, go talk to
your mother. She wants to die.

650
00:33:10,041 --> 00:33:14,666
So I was forced to
convince my mother not to commit suicide.

651
00:33:14,916 --> 00:33:17,500
He kept saying, "Barry,
I can't live anymore.

652
00:33:17,500 --> 00:33:19,375
I don't want to live anymore."

653
00:33:19,375 --> 00:33:22,541
So I went in and got it
my coin collection,

654
00:33:22,541 --> 00:33:26,750
and I offered her my coins,
as long as he didn't commit suicide.

655
00:33:27,625 --> 00:33:31,375
And she laughed and she
agreed not to commit suicide.

656
00:33:33,875 --> 00:33:35,375
Now there's dad.

657
00:33:35,375 --> 00:33:37,791
Sonny was a salesman,

658
00:33:37,791 --> 00:33:39,791
he had many extramarital affairs.

659
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,791
Dad didn't hide it from my mother,

660
00:33:42,791 --> 00:33:43,833
I guess.

661
00:33:43,833 --> 00:33:46,250
And, I'll tell you the part

662
00:33:47,041 --> 00:33:49,000
difficult part of this story,

663
00:33:50,708 --> 00:33:53,375
because they had this
very unhappy marriage.

664
00:33:53,375 --> 00:33:56,000
My parents left

665
00:33:56,750 --> 00:33:58,958
his cousin Mike,

666
00:33:58,958 --> 00:34:01,666
who was a child molester,

667
00:34:01,666 --> 00:34:05,000
live with us in ours
Washington Heights apartment.

668
00:34:05,916 --> 00:34:08,583
And he harassed me.

669
00:34:09,375 --> 00:34:12,583
Two different children they had
lived in my apartment building,

670
00:34:12,583 --> 00:34:14,250
various cousins,

671
00:34:14,916 --> 00:34:16,791
of both sexes.

672
00:34:16,791 --> 00:34:20,166
As long as they were prepubescent,
Mike wouldn't have had any problems,

673
00:34:21,208 --> 00:34:23,416
he groped both girls and boys.

674
00:34:25,666 --> 00:34:29,083
It was so upsetting that
I went to visit my father.

675
00:34:29,458 --> 00:34:30,750
So I said, dad,

676
00:34:31,458 --> 00:34:32,750
Why did you let this happen?

677
00:34:32,750 --> 00:34:35,666
And dad said, you know,
Barry, there are three reasons,

678
00:34:36,416 --> 00:34:38,791
It was curious that he had three.

679
00:34:39,125 --> 00:34:44,125
He said, “Then child molestation
they didn't have the same stigma

680
00:34:44,125 --> 00:34:47,041
that they have today."

681
00:34:48,291 --> 00:34:50,625
Secondly, yours
mother was so upset

682
00:34:50,625 --> 00:34:53,250
because of all the
relationships I was having

683
00:34:53,583 --> 00:34:58,000
that I thought having Mike
around it would bring her happiness.

684
00:34:58,666 --> 00:35:03,000
And thirdly, I never thought
that Mike was harassing you.

685
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,125
I just thought he was
playing with your penis.

686
00:35:13,125 --> 00:35:14,166
My name is Doug Buggle.

687
00:35:14,166 --> 00:35:15,875
I am 52 years old.

688
00:35:15,875 --> 00:35:17,250
I work in industry
of power tools

689
00:35:17,250 --> 00:35:18,875
as territorial manager,

690
00:35:19,208 --> 00:35:20,625
and I have two children.

691
00:35:20,625 --> 00:35:24,166
I have a 26 year old daughter
years old and an 18 year old son.

692
00:35:25,125 --> 00:35:27,625
There are so many things
that I love off-road.

693
00:35:27,625 --> 00:35:30,625
You're right here in the middle
of the desert or the mountains,

694
00:35:30,625 --> 00:35:35,708
and the challenge is to overcome obstacles
without damage.

695
00:35:36,791 --> 00:35:39,208
I met Tammy in 2004.

696
00:35:39,208 --> 00:35:41,333
She was very pretty. It was very funny.

697
00:35:41,333 --> 00:35:42,666
He was very kind to me.

698
00:35:43,583 --> 00:35:44,083
But

699
00:35:44,750 --> 00:35:47,333
that was the person
false that he had invented.

700
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,500
For 12 years of marriage
I knew nothing about narcissism

701
00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:53,291
nor narcissistic abuse.

702
00:35:53,875 --> 00:35:55,291
None of this was real.

703
00:35:55,291 --> 00:35:57,250
The whole wedding was a farce.

704
00:36:02,541 --> 00:36:04,958
The love bombing
it's actually a hook.

705
00:36:04,958 --> 00:36:06,708
It's a dangerous hook.

706
00:36:06,875 --> 00:36:09,500
He cuddled me. He called me his Superman.

707
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:12,500
He even bought me some floor mats
with the Superman logo for the Jeep.

708
00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:13,416
I couldn't do anything wrong.

709
00:36:14,375 --> 00:36:16,208
He started emailing me and

710
00:36:16,208 --> 00:36:18,625
sending me messages and painting me.

711
00:36:19,541 --> 00:36:22,083
I won't do the normal thing

712
00:36:22,375 --> 00:36:24,625
which will take some time to
build trust and intimacy.

713
00:36:24,625 --> 00:36:28,125
The more you know me, why not
I want you to know me.

714
00:36:28,416 --> 00:36:30,041
I just need you

715
00:36:30,041 --> 00:36:32,000
you fall madly in love,

716
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,375
very quickly.

717
00:36:33,875 --> 00:36:36,541
You've been dragged in
something really intense.

718
00:36:36,541 --> 00:36:39,250
We never spoke
understood so before.

719
00:36:39,250 --> 00:36:41,250
You feel that this person
she is completely involved.

720
00:36:41,250 --> 00:36:44,375
It seems magical. When people
they tell me "magic connection",

721
00:36:44,375 --> 00:36:46,541
I usually say, "Run."

722
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:51,791
It's one of the first steps

723
00:36:51,791 --> 00:36:54,166
before the real insidious abuse can

724
00:36:54,166 --> 00:36:56,791
happen: they need you to be
deeply in love

725
00:36:57,416 --> 00:36:58,708
and then very alone.

726
00:36:58,708 --> 00:37:01,208
Suddenly, your friends don't
they will be good enough for you.

727
00:37:01,208 --> 00:37:05,250
We could talk about the ban
to see your family,

728
00:37:05,250 --> 00:37:06,708
your parents.

729
00:37:06,916 --> 00:37:09,166
In 12 years, when we were married,

730
00:37:09,166 --> 00:37:11,916
my parents came to visit us
for Thanksgiving once.

731
00:37:11,916 --> 00:37:13,583
They will find flaws,

732
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,666
and they will not appear happy
when they are with them.

733
00:37:16,666 --> 00:37:18,041
He complained about them.

734
00:37:18,041 --> 00:37:20,416
He complained about everything they did.

735
00:37:20,416 --> 00:37:23,041
Subtle little comments
and sneaky here and there.

736
00:37:23,041 --> 00:37:25,666
They will make them feel very uncomfortable.

737
00:37:25,666 --> 00:37:27,000
They're trying to get rid of it.

738
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,166
My dad said, "You know what, Doug?"

739
00:37:29,166 --> 00:37:31,916
He said: "We never spoke
welcome to your home."

740
00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:34,041
Everything will be painted as if the people who

741
00:37:34,041 --> 00:37:36,916
they are worried about you
actually trying to hurt you.

742
00:37:36,916 --> 00:37:39,500
Like up is down, down is up.

743
00:37:40,041 --> 00:37:43,000
They scare you into thinking that
the only safe place is with them.

744
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:46,500
Once the victims have been isolated,
you can do anything to them.

745
00:37:50,625 --> 00:37:53,791
Suddenly they will start to devalue you.

746
00:37:54,291 --> 00:37:57,208
The small humiliations will begin.

747
00:37:57,208 --> 00:38:00,541
It's such a big change from
the one you just came from, where

748
00:38:01,375 --> 00:38:03,500
You couldn't do anything wrong.

749
00:38:03,500 --> 00:38:06,291
She criticized every single thing:

750
00:38:06,708 --> 00:38:09,500
if a cup was out of place, if a
item of clothing was out of place,

751
00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:11,916
if the dishwasher was not
loaded as she wanted.

752
00:38:11,916 --> 00:38:14,833
I mean, just small
simple things, but they add up.

753
00:38:15,250 --> 00:38:18,625
So I tried to anticipate it.

754
00:38:18,625 --> 00:38:20,166
I know he's coming home.

755
00:38:20,166 --> 00:38:21,916
Make sure everything is
exactly as she wants.

756
00:38:21,916 --> 00:38:23,791
You know, my son told me,

757
00:38:23,791 --> 00:38:26,291
dad, says, I didn't like who
you were when you were around her.

758
00:38:26,291 --> 00:38:28,583
We played video games
or we watched a movie.

759
00:38:28,583 --> 00:38:30,541
And as soon as he pulled into the driveway

760
00:38:30,541 --> 00:38:32,666
and he opened the door, I jumped from the sofa.

761
00:38:32,666 --> 00:38:34,250
I turned down the volume on the TV,

762
00:38:34,791 --> 00:38:36,041
I made sure to pay attention to her,

763
00:38:36,041 --> 00:38:38,541
and my son disappeared into his room.

764
00:38:38,541 --> 00:38:41,958
Over time, you become
dependent on this person

765
00:38:41,958 --> 00:38:44,958
and you can't function without them.

766
00:38:44,958 --> 00:38:46,291
And this is their goal.

767
00:38:50,875 --> 00:38:54,208
Narcissists are known for gaslighting.

768
00:38:54,208 --> 00:38:56,125
You can turn a victim from

769
00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:59,666
totally in command of their own lives,

770
00:38:59,666 --> 00:39:02,333
in a total and complete disaster.

771
00:39:06,041 --> 00:39:07,583
In that movie,

772
00:39:07,583 --> 00:39:10,416
you will see psychological abuse

773
00:39:10,416 --> 00:39:12,291
which constitutes gaslighting.

774
00:39:12,875 --> 00:39:14,750
The painting disappeared again.

775
00:39:14,750 --> 00:39:16,750
Where did you hide it this time?

776
00:39:16,750 --> 00:39:19,083
00:39:10:20 - 00:39:14:02 Take it from me?
Why should I take it? I don't need it.

777
00:39:19,083 --> 00:39:21,291
Bella, where's the photo?

778
00:39:21,291 --> 00:39:23,833
It's systematically driving her crazy.

779
00:39:23,833 --> 00:39:28,000
It's driving you crazy, finally
to discredit anything you say

780
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,625
like the ravings of a madman.

781
00:39:31,041 --> 00:39:33,916
I discovered that many of the things

782
00:39:33,916 --> 00:39:36,166
that came to me
constantly yelled at

783
00:39:36,166 --> 00:39:39,125
or who accused me of having lost,
in reality he hid them.

784
00:39:39,500 --> 00:39:42,708
It's like the same
definition of gaslighting.

785
00:39:42,708 --> 00:39:46,625
They literally have fun
to drive you crazy,

786
00:39:46,625 --> 00:39:48,666
making you feel crazy,

787
00:39:48,666 --> 00:39:50,833
and leading you to doubt
of your sanity.

788
00:39:51,333 --> 00:39:55,375
What the narcissist does
subtly again and again over time it is

789
00:39:55,375 --> 00:39:59,416
it undermines your confidence
ability to evaluate reality.

790
00:39:59,416 --> 00:40:01,291
They need it. They have
you need to have doubts...

791
00:40:01,291 --> 00:40:02,583
They need you to be uncertain.

792
00:40:02,583 --> 00:40:05,250
So many victims

793
00:40:05,250 --> 00:40:09,041
they can't figure out what the hell
is going on in their relationship,

794
00:40:09,041 --> 00:40:10,750
and they think they're going crazy.

795
00:40:12,750 --> 00:40:15,458
Physical, emotional and sexual abuse

796
00:40:15,458 --> 00:40:17,916
they got worse and started
to manifest itself gradually.

797
00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:22,541
But I have to say, it's abuse
psychological which is the worst.

798
00:40:22,541 --> 00:40:27,125
This is still the thing today
It's so hard to erase.

799
00:40:29,166 --> 00:40:32,000
It's probably the worst
form of abuse that exists.

800
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,291
It touches the soul.

801
00:40:41,500 --> 00:40:44,791
It's full of drama, theater,

802
00:40:45,125 --> 00:40:48,791
and silent treatment, and false accusations,

803
00:40:49,125 --> 00:40:51,875
and suddenly you're
looking at this person who

804
00:40:51,875 --> 00:40:53,375
you don't even recognize.

805
00:40:53,625 --> 00:40:55,125
The mask fell off.

806
00:40:55,125 --> 00:40:57,875
The narcissistic person
he is no longer "trying".

807
00:40:58,125 --> 00:41:00,875
In a way he discarded me,
he threw me away

808
00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:04,041
like I'm human garbage.

809
00:41:04,041 --> 00:41:05,666
For her I wasn't a person.

810
00:41:05,666 --> 00:41:08,833
I was a function. I was
a means to an end.

811
00:41:09,125 --> 00:41:13,208
You are no longer a good source
of narcissistic nourishment and they discard you

812
00:41:13,208 --> 00:41:15,916
to make room for a new source.

813
00:41:19,625 --> 00:41:22,833
My personal relationship with Sam
he's friendly,

814
00:41:22,833 --> 00:41:25,125
as you have seen. We joke a lot.

815
00:41:25,125 --> 00:41:27,000
I have no problem with this,

816
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,416
as long as it happens within certain limits
limits and restrictions.

817
00:41:30,916 --> 00:41:32,916
You know, he's a narcissist.

818
00:41:32,916 --> 00:41:36,875
I constantly have the feeling of
be superior to other people.

819
00:41:36,875 --> 00:41:39,666
First of all, because objectively
I am superior to other people.

820
00:41:39,916 --> 00:41:41,125
I have a very high IQ.

821
00:41:41,875 --> 00:41:45,250
In our relationship there is no doubt
about who has the superior intellect

822
00:41:45,250 --> 00:41:47,958
or he who has superior knowledge.
I'm not competing with Sam.

823
00:41:48,750 --> 00:41:51,416
My IQ was 190.

824
00:41:51,416 --> 00:41:54,666
Throughout the world, there are
eight people with 190,

825
00:41:54,666 --> 00:41:56,750
not eight thousand. Eight.

826
00:41:57,041 --> 00:41:58,916
You are the person who
knows this topic.

827
00:41:58,916 --> 00:42:00,416
You are the expert in the field.

828
00:42:00,416 --> 00:42:02,000
You know more than me.

829
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,000
He is a civilized, decent and honorable man.

830
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,125
It has its own ethics.

831
00:42:06,125 --> 00:42:08,750
But yes, he has a personality disorder.

832
00:42:08,750 --> 00:42:11,375
Undoubtedly it is not,
he is not mentally healthy,

833
00:42:11,375 --> 00:42:12,500
according to his own admission.

834
00:42:20,250 --> 00:42:22,916
I really thought I was taking myself to the grave
everything that had happened.

835
00:42:23,625 --> 00:42:28,875
Only when Westworld came along
and I got to play Dolores

836
00:42:29,125 --> 00:42:33,333
This helped me get through
my trauma and my awakening.

837
00:42:34,125 --> 00:42:38,041
Westworld is a theme park
designed by humans

838
00:42:38,041 --> 00:42:40,041
to be a land of fantasy.

839
00:42:40,041 --> 00:42:42,958
Dolores is a character and all robots

840
00:42:42,958 --> 00:42:45,583
that exist in this park
they don't know they are robots.

841
00:42:46,125 --> 00:42:47,041
You're not real.

842
00:42:48,291 --> 00:42:50,166
People can choose
to be kind to her,

843
00:42:50,166 --> 00:42:51,916
or they may choose to abuse her

844
00:42:52,125 --> 00:42:55,875
and do unspeakable and horrible things to her.

845
00:42:58,541 --> 00:43:02,500
The themes of that first season
They kept driving me crazy.

846
00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:06,041
Also the fact that mine
the Bogeyman was guilty.

847
00:43:06,291 --> 00:43:09,916
It was so hard not to see Brian.

848
00:43:09,916 --> 00:43:12,416
Whenever I had to
make a scene with him.

849
00:43:13,250 --> 00:43:17,500
Like, I remember having
did that final scene

850
00:43:17,833 --> 00:43:21,541
and I was only given the
best monologue to say.

851
00:43:21,750 --> 00:43:24,708
It was like everything that
I had always wanted to say

852
00:43:24,708 --> 00:43:27,833
to anyone who ever had me
injured. And especially to Brian.

853
00:43:27,833 --> 00:43:31,333
One day...

854
00:43:31,333 --> 00:43:33,125
You will perish.

855
00:43:33,125 --> 00:43:36,916
Your forgotten dreams,
your horrors faced.

856
00:43:37,541 --> 00:43:41,125
And at the end of that first season
I was awake

857
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,208
just like Dolores.

858
00:43:48,458 --> 00:43:51,375
I came across this podcast,
and there was a female presenter, and she

859
00:43:51,375 --> 00:43:52,916
there was a psychologist on the show.

860
00:43:52,916 --> 00:43:55,333
So I started listening.
After about ten minutes,

861
00:43:55,333 --> 00:43:56,333
the word "narcissism" came up.

862
00:43:56,541 --> 00:43:59,875
All I knew about narcissism was that
it means being self-absorbed, right?

863
00:44:01,333 --> 00:44:04,375
And then he started giving examples, and
I thought, oh, wait a minute,

864
00:44:04,375 --> 00:44:06,000
this sounds disturbingly familiar.

865
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,750
suddenly everything
it started to make sense.

866
00:44:08,750 --> 00:44:11,250
And then I go home and start to
do all this research.

867
00:44:11,250 --> 00:44:15,250
I was watching a video of a psychologist
that he was talking about

868
00:44:15,250 --> 00:44:18,666
a disguised narcissistic wife.

869
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,083
It's like I'm sitting
here in the room with him

870
00:44:21,333 --> 00:44:22,791
and he was talking about my wedding,

871
00:44:22,791 --> 00:44:25,208
and I realized that
she is a covert narcissist.

872
00:44:25,708 --> 00:44:28,625
Oh my God. And when that,
when that came to mind,

873
00:44:29,291 --> 00:44:32,833
it was like, wow. I had a reason.

874
00:44:34,375 --> 00:44:37,250
Once I found the courage
to finally leave Tammy,

875
00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:38,750
I entered the house,

876
00:44:38,750 --> 00:44:41,416
and I saw my son there, and
I just started crying

877
00:44:41,708 --> 00:44:42,958
and I said, it's over. It's like

878
00:44:45,208 --> 00:44:47,250
this nightmare is over.

879
00:44:48,208 --> 00:44:50,916
And, Jared

880
00:44:50,916 --> 00:44:54,458
he jumped up and
he hugged me very tightly

881
00:44:55,291 --> 00:44:59,291
and said: «Thank God that woman
despicable is out of our life."

882
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,833
These were exactly his words.

883
00:45:03,291 --> 00:45:05,708
After a person has
suffered narcissistic abuse,

884
00:45:05,708 --> 00:45:07,416
it can really crush

885
00:45:07,416 --> 00:45:10,083
his conceptions of what love is,

886
00:45:10,083 --> 00:45:13,333
what family is and,
above all, what is trust.

887
00:45:16,125 --> 00:45:19,708
I never really thought about that

888
00:45:19,708 --> 00:45:22,458
being molested by cousin Mike, the

889
00:45:22,458 --> 00:45:25,125
child molester,
had an effect on me.

890
00:45:25,125 --> 00:45:27,916
I was going to get over it, get over it.

891
00:45:30,208 --> 00:45:31,666
But I think I didn't succeed,

892
00:45:32,125 --> 00:45:34,666
and that really makes me
angry at my parents.

893
00:45:35,500 --> 00:45:38,041
Because they knew when
they could have stopped him.

894
00:45:38,041 --> 00:45:40,750
They really, really knew.

895
00:45:41,375 --> 00:45:43,291
And they were so selfish

896
00:45:43,833 --> 00:45:48,750
who sacrificed me
for their needs.

897
00:45:49,458 --> 00:45:52,666
It's not right to do that to a child.

898
00:46:01,250 --> 00:46:03,375
I have a limited range of emotions,

899
00:46:03,375 --> 00:46:06,708
so I don't feel joy
or happiness or sadness.

900
00:46:06,916 --> 00:46:09,666
I feel power, fury, antipathy,

901
00:46:09,666 --> 00:46:13,000
hatred, jealousy and the others
negative emotions.

902
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,541
I have no emotional empathy.

903
00:46:14,541 --> 00:46:16,625
I don't feel love.

904
00:46:16,625 --> 00:46:20,125
A lot of people say, “Oh God, it doesn't give you
Is it bothered that you can't be happy?"

905
00:46:20,125 --> 00:46:22,166
No, I'm not interested in it.

906
00:46:22,166 --> 00:46:24,375
They are extremely effective
the way I am,

907
00:46:24,625 --> 00:46:28,083
and have that limited range of
emotions works perfectly for me.

908
00:46:28,250 --> 00:46:30,375
To be able to integrate,

909
00:46:30,375 --> 00:46:34,625
I create a passable impression of
happiness. Even if I don't try it,

910
00:46:34,625 --> 00:46:36,416
I know how to pose my face.

911
00:46:36,416 --> 00:46:39,291
I don't cry, I don't get emotional, it's weak.

912
00:46:39,291 --> 00:46:42,750
But some narcissists do.
Even if you don't feel anything.

913
00:46:46,750 --> 00:46:50,333
Empathy is the experience of understanding and

914
00:46:50,333 --> 00:46:54,875
to some extent, feel the state
emotion of another human being.

915
00:46:54,875 --> 00:47:00,250
Even if you're not living
a simultaneous experience with them.

916
00:47:00,750 --> 00:47:03,416
This is how we create
loving human relationships,

917
00:47:03,416 --> 00:47:06,250
connected and supported than in reality

918
00:47:06,250 --> 00:47:09,291
they are the fabric of existence.

919
00:47:09,291 --> 00:47:11,916
That's how we are
survived as a species.

920
00:47:12,541 --> 00:47:14,708
There is no single place in the brain

921
00:47:14,708 --> 00:47:16,875
where empathy resides,

922
00:47:17,375 --> 00:47:21,666
but let's see that one
particular network in the brain

923
00:47:21,666 --> 00:47:24,541
is activated when people
they feel empathetic.

924
00:47:24,541 --> 00:47:27,125
And we know this from neuroimaging studies,

925
00:47:27,125 --> 00:47:29,833
where we can show
to people images

926
00:47:29,833 --> 00:47:31,541
that would inspire empathy,

927
00:47:31,541 --> 00:47:33,958
like a puppy that gets hurt
or a child who gets hurt,

928
00:47:33,958 --> 00:47:36,208
and activates certain parts of the brain.

929
00:47:36,375 --> 00:47:40,375
But we tend to see that people
who receive these diagnoses

930
00:47:40,375 --> 00:47:42,666
of, for example, disorder
of the narcissistic personality

931
00:47:42,666 --> 00:47:47,541
may have less activity
in the key centers of empathy.

932
00:47:47,541 --> 00:47:50,375
The assumption is that not
I really feel empathy

933
00:47:50,375 --> 00:47:51,500
the way others do.

934
00:47:51,666 --> 00:47:53,541
For the narcissistic person,

935
00:47:53,541 --> 00:47:57,791
they know they should worry
of other people's feelings,

936
00:47:57,791 --> 00:48:00,916
but in reality they have contempt for
other people's feelings.

937
00:48:01,125 --> 00:48:04,125
Oh, this empathy thing is it
that all these kids want.

938
00:48:04,125 --> 00:48:07,500
I will try to do it to get
what I need.

939
00:48:07,500 --> 00:48:10,500
Everyone stops. Oh,
they are incapable of empathy.

940
00:48:10,500 --> 00:48:13,375
Yes. This is the tip of the iceberg.

941
00:48:13,375 --> 00:48:17,000
They are not capable of being human
in any meaningful sense.

942
00:48:21,041 --> 00:48:22,583
I look like a human being.

943
00:48:23,250 --> 00:48:24,416
I speak like a human being.

944
00:48:24,416 --> 00:48:26,500
Sometimes I make some of you smile,

945
00:48:26,500 --> 00:48:27,916
so I can reach you.

946
00:48:27,916 --> 00:48:29,666
And I can push the right buttons.

947
00:48:30,375 --> 00:48:32,750
You will want me too.
I will even imitate empathy.

948
00:48:32,750 --> 00:48:34,000
I'll even cry if you want.

949
00:48:35,166 --> 00:48:37,083
But I'm not you,

950
00:48:37,083 --> 00:48:38,708
and I'm not like you in

951
00:48:39,166 --> 00:48:42,791
no truly meaningful sense.

952
00:48:43,458 --> 00:48:44,041
Nobody.

953
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,208
It is true that in the postmodern world,

954
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,666
narcissists and psychopaths
are better adapted than

955
00:48:56,333 --> 00:48:59,500
people with emotions and that
we call healthy people.

956
00:48:59,500 --> 00:49:00,875
They are ruthless,

957
00:49:00,875 --> 00:49:03,375
they are insensitive and goal-oriented.

958
00:49:03,375 --> 00:49:06,250
They know how to manipulate
people, and they do.

959
00:49:07,041 --> 00:49:09,916
So all these are
advantages in the modern environment.

960
00:49:11,416 --> 00:49:16,166
A true narcissist he absolutely is
invincible in many ways.

961
00:49:16,833 --> 00:49:19,791
He gets what he wants
and continually manipulates everyone.

962
00:49:19,791 --> 00:49:21,375
And it does so highly efficiently.

963
00:49:23,500 --> 00:49:25,916
Narcissism consists
in becoming the demon.

964
00:49:27,458 --> 00:49:29,000
I need to feel like God.

965
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,875
There are about 6 billion of us
that shouldn't be here.

966
00:49:33,875 --> 00:49:35,375
I don't know if it ever makes it into the film,

967
00:49:35,375 --> 00:49:37,333
but I call them cars that
they eat and shit.

968
00:49:37,791 --> 00:49:42,166
They procreate, consume resources,
they pollute, they contribute nothing.

969
00:49:42,791 --> 00:49:46,666
They compete directly with shapes
superior in life like me.

970
00:49:47,125 --> 00:49:48,625
These people shouldn't be here.

971
00:49:49,166 --> 00:49:50,666
I'm totally in favor of eugenics,

972
00:49:51,083 --> 00:49:53,708
but on a scale that would be frightening
most people.

973
00:49:57,375 --> 00:50:01,250
The biggest question is: i
Can narcissists change?

974
00:50:01,250 --> 00:50:04,541
Some believe a possible
significant change.

975
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:09,000
From a clinical point of view,
This possibility doesn't convince me.

976
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,916
Let's say the question
it is still open.

977
00:50:11,916 --> 00:50:14,458
But I'd bet good money not.

978
00:50:14,458 --> 00:50:16,000
They can't really change.

979
00:50:19,166 --> 00:50:23,208
I have lived the most incredible life
Hollywood cinema. I have

980
00:50:23,208 --> 00:50:28,083
done everything known,
but I've never been there.

981
00:50:28,083 --> 00:50:32,333
I looked at my life
as if it were a movie.

982
00:50:32,333 --> 00:50:34,083
I've never participated in it.

983
00:50:34,083 --> 00:50:35,541
I never liked it.

984
00:50:35,541 --> 00:50:37,083
I have never loved,

985
00:50:37,083 --> 00:50:38,625
I have never been loved.

986
00:50:39,875 --> 00:50:42,583
You are human. I'm not.

987
00:50:43,166 --> 00:50:45,166
We don't belong to the same species.

988
00:50:45,500 --> 00:50:46,875
I'm a

989
00:50:46,875 --> 00:50:49,875
giant howling black hole

990
00:50:50,416 --> 00:50:52,458
and there is nothing else but this.

991
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,750
Nobody can help me
with my inner emptiness.

992
00:50:55,750 --> 00:50:58,541
No love, no attention.

993
00:50:58,875 --> 00:51:00,416
It's never enough. It's a black hole.

994
00:51:01,500 --> 00:51:03,666
It's a bottomless pit.

995
00:51:04,500 --> 00:51:07,416
I envy every human being who smiles.

996
00:51:07,416 --> 00:51:09,375
I envy people who cry.

997
00:51:09,375 --> 00:51:11,125
I even envy depressed people.

998
00:51:11,625 --> 00:51:13,625
I am unable to do
none of this.

999
00:51:14,625 --> 00:51:16,958
My problem is that I don't exist.

1000
00:51:17,291 --> 00:51:19,125
Can you tell me how to exist?

1001
00:51:20,375 --> 00:51:23,500
Is there an algorithm on how to exist?

1002
00:51:24,250 --> 00:51:25,833
Is there a user manual?

1003
00:51:26,625 --> 00:51:29,041
Can someone teach me how to exist?

1004
00:51:29,750 --> 00:51:31,000
Of course not.

1005
00:51:31,791 --> 00:51:35,125
There's no way around it
this fundamental problem.

1006
00:51:37,166 --> 00:51:39,416
How does it make me superior?

1007
00:52:14,708 --> 00:52:15,541
I am sorry.

1008
00:52:47,375 --> 00:52:49,708
So, I'm very angry.

1009
00:52:53,291 --> 00:52:57,500
I'm very angry about
never to have existed.

1010
00:52:58,791 --> 00:53:01,916
Because I think I've had a lot of gifts.

1011
00:53:05,500 --> 00:53:07,125
They were taken away from me.

1012
00:53:11,416 --> 00:53:14,750
When I was essentially
helpless as a child.

1013
00:53:14,875 --> 00:53:15,791
Do you know?

1014
00:53:17,041 --> 00:53:19,416
I couldn't defend myself.

1015
00:53:24,875 --> 00:53:26,708
This is how superior I feel.

1016
00:53:28,250 --> 00:53:30,375
I hope I have answered the question.

1017
00:53:42,041 --> 00:53:43,375
He abused my trust.

1018
00:53:43,375 --> 00:53:46,208
It became a sort
of a second father to me,

1019
00:53:46,208 --> 00:53:48,708
as it was described.

1020
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,583
I received an email titled
"Adoption documents"

1021
00:53:51,583 --> 00:53:55,125
in which he proposed to adopt me.

1022
00:53:55,375 --> 00:53:59,625
At the same time, I was receiving
very confusing signals from him

1023
00:53:59,625 --> 00:54:05,000
very intimate and sexual in nature.

1024
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:10,000
He put pressure on me and said: «Inside
of you are a whore and a slut.”

1025
00:54:10,291 --> 00:54:13,416
“Let me welcome you and
embrace your sexuality."

1026
00:54:13,416 --> 00:54:15,708
And because I don't want to have sex with him,

1027
00:54:15,708 --> 00:54:17,750
I don't want to celebrate life.

1028
00:54:17,750 --> 00:54:22,375
That's why sex with him
it is necessary to heal me.

1029
00:54:23,041 --> 00:54:25,166
He blackmailed and manipulated me.

1030
00:54:25,166 --> 00:54:28,041
And ultimately, he tried
to destroy me completely

1031
00:54:28,041 --> 00:54:31,000
mentally, physically,
emotionally and psychologically.

1032
00:54:31,750 --> 00:54:32,916
Even after that,

1033
00:54:32,916 --> 00:54:37,500
I haven't found the strength to
go ahead and talk.

1034
00:54:37,500 --> 00:54:41,041
But later, other women
they contacted me.

1035
00:54:41,041 --> 00:54:44,041
And every story is a horror movie.

1036
00:54:44,250 --> 00:54:46,708
It's not a thriller, it's pure horror.

1037
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,416
I thought, "Damn,
I can no longer remain silent."

1038
00:54:52,916 --> 00:54:55,416
The therapist who abused me
It's Sam Vaknin.

1039
00:55:08,375 --> 00:55:10,708
I need to talk to you

1040
00:55:10,708 --> 00:55:13,125
IT'S URGENT!!!

1041
00:55:13,250 --> 00:55:15,000
I have been contacted
by a group of women.

1042
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:15,833
There are five of them.

1043
00:55:15,916 --> 00:55:17,625
It turns out that since 2015,

1044
00:55:17,625 --> 00:55:20,083
when I started using
Sam to do seminars

1045
00:55:20,083 --> 00:55:22,000
with him and to help him
to gain visibility,

1046
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:25,291
he used his image as a therapist,

1047
00:55:25,500 --> 00:55:27,791
and as a professor of psychology

1048
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:31,958
to lure, to target
and select individual women

1049
00:55:32,291 --> 00:55:34,625
for financial and sexual exploitation.

1050
00:55:34,625 --> 00:55:36,291
When I say sexual exploitation,

1051
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:39,833
we are talking about some of the practices
more depraved and degrading sexual acts

1052
00:55:40,583 --> 00:55:42,291
I've ever heard of.

1053
00:55:42,291 --> 00:55:44,166
And when I asked these five women,

1054
00:55:44,166 --> 00:55:46,291
how many people do they think there are in total

1055
00:55:46,291 --> 00:55:48,708
in the last seven years in
which I worked with him,

1056
00:55:49,041 --> 00:55:52,750
they estimate between 25 and 30 other victims.

1057
00:56:01,125 --> 00:56:02,416
He's not a professor.

1058
00:56:02,416 --> 00:56:03,500
He's not a doctor.

1059
00:56:03,500 --> 00:56:05,583
He does not have a degree in psychology.

1060
00:56:06,625 --> 00:56:09,875
He is a complete and total scammer.

1061
00:56:11,041 --> 00:56:13,125
He's a real piece of shit.

1062
00:56:15,166 --> 00:56:17,791
People are suffering here.

1063
00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:21,166
He destroyed them. He really has them,
really, really broken,

1064
00:56:21,166 --> 00:56:23,958
in a way that left fragments

1065
00:56:23,958 --> 00:56:27,000
and fragments in the flesh
emotional and psychological

1066
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:28,708
which will take years to remove.

1067
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,041
Bad.

1068
00:56:31,416 --> 00:56:32,375
Evil man.

1069
00:56:47,375 --> 00:56:49,791
So he made sure to
make the waste phase

1070
00:56:49,791 --> 00:56:51,541
as cruel as possible.

1071
00:56:51,541 --> 00:56:53,791
He took off his mask very abruptly,

1072
00:56:54,541 --> 00:56:56,250
and you saw the monster.

1073
00:56:56,250 --> 00:56:59,208
And then I told him to stop,
I can't take it anymore. Go away.

1074
00:56:59,208 --> 00:56:59,791
He said,

1075
00:56:59,791 --> 00:57:02,583
be careful what you wish for,
'Cause once I'm gone,

1076
00:57:03,125 --> 00:57:06,125
the only way out for you
it's the window.

1077
00:57:06,125 --> 00:57:07,625
All right. You are on the 20th floor.

1078
00:57:07,625 --> 00:57:09,625
You won't even feel anything.

1079
00:57:09,625 --> 00:57:12,916
His ultimate goal is
push you to suicide.

1080
00:57:13,250 --> 00:57:14,666
It's like his sign,

1081
00:57:14,666 --> 00:57:17,541
his signature, "suicide by Vaknin".

1082
00:57:17,541 --> 00:57:20,500
I am your instrument of destruction.

1083
00:57:20,500 --> 00:57:22,625
It's like a Vaknin suicide.

1084
00:57:23,875 --> 00:57:26,291
How much do you think this
man is dangerous?

1085
00:57:26,291 --> 00:57:30,250
I think it's extremely dangerous:
he is expert at what he does.

1086
00:57:30,250 --> 00:57:32,833
It's the only thing he's done his whole life.

1087
00:57:32,833 --> 00:57:36,041
He is obsessed with destruction
of people's lives.

1088
00:57:36,041 --> 00:57:37,916
It's his dose.

1089
00:57:37,916 --> 00:57:40,166
It's so dark out there, Isla.

1090
00:57:40,166 --> 00:57:41,791
It's really, really, really dark.

1091
00:57:46,125 --> 00:57:51,291
Sam exploited this idea of
himself as a benevolent healer

1092
00:57:51,291 --> 00:57:54,250
and a professor of
psychology, and as a therapist

1093
00:57:54,791 --> 00:57:58,333
to get a position
of authority and trust

1094
00:57:58,333 --> 00:57:59,916
about these women and with these women.

1095
00:57:59,916 --> 00:58:02,458
And then he abused it completely
of that trust.

1096
00:58:02,458 --> 00:58:04,291
They don't want their identity
be made public.

1097
00:58:04,291 --> 00:58:07,291
They don't want to go to the police
because they are deeply ashamed

1098
00:58:07,291 --> 00:58:09,458
and he threatened them. He told them:

1099
00:58:09,458 --> 00:58:11,833
"if you tell anyone
what I did to you,

1100
00:58:11,833 --> 00:58:14,291
I will reveal everything to your families.

1101
00:58:14,291 --> 00:58:16,458
I will reveal everything to your employers

1102
00:58:16,458 --> 00:58:19,708
and institutions
academics you work for.

1103
00:58:19,708 --> 00:58:21,666
I'll ruin your reputation.

1104
00:58:21,958 --> 00:58:22,791
He trapped them.

1105
00:58:23,874 --> 00:58:28,374
It's a horrible and tormenting situation
where he put these women.

1106
00:58:28,833 --> 00:58:32,749
Man is a damn animal
and he should be in prison.

1107
00:58:41,708 --> 00:58:45,708
A smear campaign is a
concerted attempt on the part of

1108
00:58:45,708 --> 00:58:49,708
a narcissistic person of
take back all the power.

1109
00:58:50,208 --> 00:58:54,249
They will destroy anyone who exposes them.

1110
00:58:54,249 --> 00:58:58,249
This is part of the larger game of

1111
00:58:58,249 --> 00:59:01,999
the narcissistic person who presents himself
chronically as a victim,

1112
00:59:01,999 --> 00:59:04,583
when in reality I am the offender.

1113
00:59:05,583 --> 00:59:08,958
I was sitting in my lawyer's office,

1114
00:59:08,958 --> 00:59:11,958
and my paralegal asked, “Hai
read Tammy's statement?” "No."

1115
00:59:12,374 --> 00:59:15,999
And she said, well, now she has you
accused of domestic violence and abuse.

1116
00:59:16,833 --> 00:59:19,416
And I just collapsed,

1117
00:59:20,083 --> 00:59:22,583
I put my hands on my face.

1118
00:59:23,458 --> 00:59:25,291
And I started sobbing and crying

1119
00:59:26,166 --> 00:59:27,374
because I couldn't believe it.

1120
00:59:27,374 --> 00:59:31,208
I have never abused anyone or
of anything in my entire life.

1121
00:59:31,708 --> 00:59:35,749
She knew just to say those
things would have devastated me.

1122
00:59:35,749 --> 00:59:38,083
That was probably the
worst moment of my life.

1123
00:59:38,333 --> 00:59:39,624
And I'm still not over it.

1124
00:59:39,833 --> 00:59:41,499
Even if I was proven right,

1125
00:59:41,499 --> 00:59:43,083
everything was denied in court.

1126
00:59:43,083 --> 00:59:45,958
There were no consequences
because it was all fake.

1127
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:48,708
He only did it to
crush my soul.

1128
00:59:49,958 --> 00:59:51,791
Because that's what narcissists do.

1129
00:59:58,333 --> 01:00:02,499
I will no longer collaborate with Richard Grannon

1130
01:00:02,499 --> 01:00:07,249
in any way, shape or form, in
any forum and in any context.

1131
01:00:09,083 --> 01:00:11,999
Disintegrate someone and
destroying it takes time.

1132
01:00:13,458 --> 01:00:17,458
I want to clarify, I am not associated

1133
01:00:17,458 --> 01:00:19,958
directly or indirectly

1134
01:00:19,958 --> 01:00:23,416
to anything Richard Grannon does.

1135
01:00:23,416 --> 01:00:27,249
Luckily, it's out
from my life forever.

1136
01:00:29,583 --> 01:00:31,749
I have to cancel you.

1137
01:00:31,749 --> 01:00:35,083
I need you to go away,
and I will do everything to achieve it.

1138
01:00:36,041 --> 01:00:40,833
Ahhh, the red wine, the
man's best friend.

1139
01:00:40,833 --> 01:00:42,708
I just got rid of one,

1140
01:00:42,708 --> 01:00:45,124
not of wine, a false friend.

1141
01:00:45,791 --> 01:00:47,291
Old fake best friend.

1142
01:00:48,124 --> 01:00:50,624
I will be unstoppable and relentless.

1143
01:00:50,624 --> 01:00:52,833
It will continue long after the provocation.

1144
01:00:53,333 --> 01:00:55,041
You are my mortal enemy.

1145
01:00:56,208 --> 01:00:59,208
He cheats, he lies, he cheats.

1146
01:00:59,208 --> 01:01:02,083
Don't forgive and don't forget.

1147
01:01:02,083 --> 01:01:03,874
He is an enemy.

1148
01:01:03,874 --> 01:01:05,374
Treat it as such.

1149
01:01:05,374 --> 01:01:07,458
And so you provoked me on Wednesday,

1150
01:01:07,458 --> 01:01:09,916
four years later, I will still try
in a defamation campaign.

1151
01:01:11,083 --> 01:01:12,458
So I have to destroy you.

1152
01:01:12,458 --> 01:01:13,708
Whatever it takes.

1153
01:01:14,874 --> 01:01:16,583
The complacent weaklings

1154
01:01:16,583 --> 01:01:18,958
they end badly. Bad.

1155
01:01:19,874 --> 01:01:21,874
Very, very bad.

1156
01:01:21,874 --> 01:01:22,833
At the right time.

1157
01:01:30,499 --> 01:01:35,458
He clearly intends to destroy
my reputation entirely.

1158
01:01:35,458 --> 01:01:37,458
He wants to make me go out of business.

1159
01:01:37,458 --> 01:01:41,291
It also proved to me in the period
intermediate who is ready to lie

1160
01:01:41,291 --> 01:01:44,916
and to lie and lie and tell
anything to get back at me.

1161
01:01:47,874 --> 01:01:49,708
This is one of his
“flying monkeys,” right now.

1162
01:01:50,333 --> 01:01:51,083
Ready?

1163
01:01:51,458 --> 01:01:52,791
Yes, Richard speaking?

1164
01:01:52,791 --> 01:01:53,666
It's me.

1165
01:01:53,666 --> 01:01:56,833
You can't keep doing that
what are you doing, ahhh Richard.

1166
01:01:57,458 --> 01:01:59,833
Your bribe and the
your death threat.

1167
01:01:59,833 --> 01:02:01,708
I reported everything... everything.

1168
01:02:01,708 --> 01:02:02,874
Sam is helping me.

1169
01:02:02,874 --> 01:02:05,249
Seriously, you have to go by
a healthcare professional.

1170
01:02:05,249 --> 01:02:06,749
You are mentally ill.

1171
01:02:06,749 --> 01:02:08,333
You can't continue to
do this to people,

1172
01:02:08,333 --> 01:02:10,249
and you can't continue to
do it to your followers

1173
01:02:10,249 --> 01:02:11,291
and your customers.

1174
01:02:11,291 --> 01:02:12,333
It's wrong.

1175
01:02:12,708 --> 01:02:14,583
Whatever...(inaudible)

1176
01:02:14,583 --> 01:02:15,499
Ready?

1177
01:02:18,499 --> 01:02:20,541
Yes. It is under his control.
It is under his control.

1178
01:02:23,583 --> 01:02:26,333
Sam has knowingly

1179
01:02:26,333 --> 01:02:29,583
he used women as weapons
with mental disorders to attack me.

1180
01:02:29,583 --> 01:02:32,708
As you hear, this woman is not herself.

1181
01:02:33,499 --> 01:02:37,958
One of the things I have to accept
regarding this situation is that

1182
01:02:37,958 --> 01:02:41,499
I thought I knew

1183
01:02:41,499 --> 01:02:44,624
who and what was Sam Vaknin,

1184
01:02:44,624 --> 01:02:48,083
and clearly I didn't have a clue.

1185
01:02:48,083 --> 01:02:49,583
And I'm learning this the hard way.

1186
01:02:54,916 --> 01:02:58,041
“No contact” is what I define
a sort of

1187
01:02:58,041 --> 01:02:59,874
definitive strategy

1188
01:02:59,874 --> 01:03:03,333
to handle any type of
narcissistic or toxic relationship,

1189
01:03:03,333 --> 01:03:06,624
and it means exactly what it says:
no contact,

1190
01:03:06,624 --> 01:03:08,458
and I mean no contact.

1191
01:03:08,458 --> 01:03:13,291
Not on holidays or on a birthday, not even
an occasional ticket. Nothing.

1192
01:03:13,499 --> 01:03:16,791
But since no contact is not

1193
01:03:16,791 --> 01:03:21,541
available to almost everyone, we can
use other tools as well

1194
01:03:21,541 --> 01:03:24,458
to manage narcissistic relationships
that we have in our lives.

1195
01:03:28,249 --> 01:03:31,749
First of all, if you just remember the
rule number one, you're ready to go.

1196
01:03:31,749 --> 01:03:34,333
Never expose them.

1197
01:03:34,333 --> 01:03:38,958
Many people will approach the
narcissist and they will say: hey, guess what?

1198
01:03:38,958 --> 01:03:40,791
You are a narcissist.

1199
01:03:41,374 --> 01:03:44,958
And what happens is that at the
end of that conversation,

1200
01:03:45,374 --> 01:03:49,499
the narcissist will tell you: «No,
you are the raging narcissist."

1201
01:03:49,499 --> 01:03:52,916
And in most cases
will argue so convincingly

1202
01:03:52,916 --> 01:03:54,916
that you will believe him. Never expose him.

1203
01:03:55,249 --> 01:03:57,083
Number two, don't blame yourself.

1204
01:03:57,083 --> 01:03:59,624
Narcissists don't discriminate
in the choice of victims.

1205
01:03:59,624 --> 01:04:01,083
They will do it to anyone.

1206
01:04:01,083 --> 01:04:04,833
The key is not to take it personally
what they are doing to you.

1207
01:04:04,833 --> 01:04:07,333
Number three: don't fall for the
false promises about the future.

1208
01:04:07,333 --> 01:04:10,208
They will promise you heaven and earth.

1209
01:04:10,208 --> 01:04:12,124
I'm going to therapy.

1210
01:04:12,124 --> 01:04:13,124
You are right.

1211
01:04:13,124 --> 01:04:14,583
I will change.

1212
01:04:14,583 --> 01:04:15,833
Don't fall into this trap.

1213
01:04:15,833 --> 01:04:18,916
Number four, build a firewall.

1214
01:04:18,916 --> 01:04:20,708
Think about what a
firewall on your computer.

1215
01:04:20,708 --> 01:04:23,333
Check the information
incoming and outgoing.

1216
01:04:23,333 --> 01:04:25,874
Creating a «firewall» is also
a technique for communicating

1217
01:04:25,874 --> 01:04:27,208
with a narcissistic person.

1218
01:04:27,208 --> 01:04:29,791
I don't want to let in
nothing of their toxicity,

1219
01:04:29,791 --> 01:04:31,499
so I won't leave you
involve too much.

1220
01:04:31,499 --> 01:04:32,749
I won't defend myself.

1221
01:04:32,749 --> 01:04:34,333
I won't argue with them.

1222
01:04:34,791 --> 01:04:37,791
And I will be very careful

1223
01:04:37,791 --> 01:04:40,749
not to share
my vulnerabilities,

1224
01:04:40,749 --> 01:04:42,541
because they will use them to hurt me,

1225
01:04:42,541 --> 01:04:44,374
so I won't share them.

1226
01:04:44,833 --> 01:04:47,208
Number five: the method
of gray stone.

1227
01:04:47,208 --> 01:04:50,166
In essence, it means to transform
in a gray stone, rendering itself

1228
01:04:50,166 --> 01:04:52,583
completely anonymous,

1229
01:04:52,583 --> 01:04:55,374
emotionless and non-engaging,

1230
01:04:55,374 --> 01:04:58,208
so that the narcissist does not interact
with you or lose interest.

1231
01:04:58,458 --> 01:05:00,833
Number six, borders.

1232
01:05:00,833 --> 01:05:04,458
Borders are everything
narcissistic relationships.

1233
01:05:04,458 --> 01:05:08,458
Because a narcissistic relationship is one
24/7 battle

1234
01:05:08,458 --> 01:05:10,958
where they try to annex your borders

1235
01:05:11,333 --> 01:05:14,333
and you feel more and more invaded.

1236
01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:21,999
There was a sort of

1237
01:05:21,999 --> 01:05:24,958
an induction. There is a kind of seduction.
There was a kind of love bombing.

1238
01:05:24,958 --> 01:05:28,291
I have been subjected to much praise.

1239
01:05:28,624 --> 01:05:33,499
I was told I was a
brilliant public speaker,

1240
01:05:33,499 --> 01:05:36,749
that I had a brilliant mind, that I had

1241
01:05:36,749 --> 01:05:39,083
an intuitive understanding
of psychoanalytic theory.

1242
01:05:40,208 --> 01:05:45,749
The obvious parallel to draw would be
say, okay, you have problems with your father.

1243
01:05:45,749 --> 01:05:48,833
It's partly that, but it's not that simple.

1244
01:05:49,958 --> 01:05:52,708
I saw Sam as similar to me,

1245
01:05:52,708 --> 01:05:56,458
like some kind of lost child,

1246
01:05:56,708 --> 01:05:59,333
someone I used to hit on
a sort of affinity along the way

1247
01:05:59,708 --> 01:06:01,833
because of his childhood.

1248
01:06:02,999 --> 01:06:05,249
But the effect on me was horrible.

1249
01:06:05,249 --> 01:06:07,291
It was really, really painful.

1250
01:06:07,291 --> 01:06:12,166
And he threw me
in a personal crisis.

1251
01:06:14,833 --> 01:06:18,124
Maybe inside my head, a part
of my defense mechanism is,

1252
01:06:18,124 --> 01:06:20,333
oh, here we are. Sam is doing the
old Count Dracula routine.

1253
01:06:20,624 --> 01:06:22,791
Maybe I thought it was just a sham

1254
01:06:22,791 --> 01:06:24,708
or something funny.

1255
01:06:24,708 --> 01:06:27,916
Knowing what I know now, it's just
a frank admission of who he is.

1256
01:06:29,208 --> 01:06:31,958
I feel guilty because I have them
given access to other people.

1257
01:06:31,958 --> 01:06:33,458
I gave him credibility.

1258
01:06:33,458 --> 01:06:36,041
I gave him visibility and notoriety

1259
01:06:36,041 --> 01:06:37,916
giving opportunity to vulnerable men and women

1260
01:06:37,916 --> 01:06:40,499
to contact him for therapy:
I also contributed to this.

1261
01:06:41,083 --> 01:06:42,874
It makes me feel physically sick.

1262
01:06:50,083 --> 01:06:51,333
Richard,

1263
01:06:52,874 --> 01:06:54,624
It's a pleasure to meet you.

1264
01:06:54,624 --> 01:06:56,333
Thank you very much for coming here.

1265
01:06:56,333 --> 01:06:58,041
I am sorry. It's a little cold.

1266
01:06:58,041 --> 01:07:00,208
Shall we take a walk? Yes.

1267
01:07:00,208 --> 01:07:02,624
I really appreciate you being
came to meet me in person.

1268
01:07:02,624 --> 01:07:03,874
And also for.

1269
01:07:03,874 --> 01:07:06,208
Well, not yet, but put me on
in contact with the victims.

1270
01:07:06,208 --> 01:07:09,999
But I think, as you suggest, it is
It's important that we don't do that yet.

1271
01:07:09,999 --> 01:07:11,958
Oh, they can be,
they are easily afraid,

1272
01:07:11,958 --> 01:07:14,624
so we must be
very careful with them.

1273
01:07:14,624 --> 01:07:16,374
Yes. And also because they are in different countries,

1274
01:07:16,374 --> 01:07:19,458
it's not as simple as going
at a local police station,

1275
01:07:19,749 --> 01:07:23,833
and say: «My therapist, who
he works nearby, he did this.”

1276
01:07:23,833 --> 01:07:26,416
The fact that it happens between different countries

1277
01:07:26,416 --> 01:07:28,166
it makes everything much more complicated.

1278
01:07:28,166 --> 01:07:31,708
Here you are. And then there's a tremendous amount
of guilt and shame on their part.

1279
01:07:31,708 --> 01:07:33,874
They are very ashamed
of what happened.

1280
01:07:33,874 --> 01:07:36,749
They really don't want it to go public.

1281
01:07:37,124 --> 01:07:40,541
So I tried to explain to them
which, legally,

1282
01:07:40,708 --> 01:07:44,208
there's not much I can do about it
unless they go to the police

1283
01:07:44,208 --> 01:07:48,416
and are willing to provide
some testimony.

1284
01:07:51,708 --> 01:07:55,999
If I'm with a partner
intimate, I merged with her.

1285
01:07:55,999 --> 01:07:57,624
Then I start to separate from her.

1286
01:07:57,624 --> 01:08:00,874
I'm starting to separate from her
becoming his inner critic.

1287
01:08:00,874 --> 01:08:02,583
I replace his inner critic.

1288
01:08:02,583 --> 01:08:07,166
And so I criticize it, I analyze it,
I chastise and correct her.

1289
01:08:07,374 --> 01:08:09,374
So this is mine
way to get rid of it.

1290
01:08:09,374 --> 01:08:12,291
So I merge and join her.
Then I start to push her away.

1291
01:08:12,708 --> 01:08:15,999
I partly push it away by becoming
his inner critic.

1292
01:08:15,999 --> 01:08:17,583
Then I discard it.

1293
01:08:18,874 --> 01:08:21,083
It doesn't work for me.

1294
01:08:21,083 --> 01:08:27,124
Yes, I feel separated, but
it is definitely adulterated.

1295
01:08:27,124 --> 01:08:29,333
I need heroin
much purer.

1296
01:08:30,333 --> 01:08:31,708
If she dies

1297
01:08:32,749 --> 01:08:34,291
or attempts suicide,

1298
01:08:35,208 --> 01:08:36,958
goes crazy

1299
01:08:38,041 --> 01:08:40,749
or it is totally destroyed,

1300
01:08:41,749 --> 01:08:43,541
as totally, the
separation is much stronger.

1301
01:08:43,541 --> 01:08:45,541
The drug is much more powerful,

1302
01:08:46,291 --> 01:08:50,083
and I experience separation
through a third party.

1303
01:08:50,499 --> 01:08:54,166
That's as close as I can get
to feel like you exist.

1304
01:08:56,083 --> 01:08:56,958
So here I am,

1305
01:09:00,624 --> 01:09:02,124
like the most concrete face

1306
01:09:03,583 --> 01:09:06,874
of the justice we can have now,

1307
01:09:06,874 --> 01:09:10,374
because it's the media. Nobody will
nothing against this man.

1308
01:09:10,374 --> 01:09:13,208
It will continue like this, unless
that we don't expose him.

1309
01:09:13,208 --> 01:09:16,208
And it is the power of the media that
ago, the power of storytelling.

1310
01:09:16,499 --> 01:09:19,666
So, watch me go there
with a camera

1311
01:09:20,499 --> 01:09:22,499
it is absolutely crucial.

1312
01:09:23,708 --> 01:09:26,249
So yes, I'm very sorry.

1313
01:09:30,458 --> 01:09:33,416
I tell people right from the start
through my work,

1314
01:09:33,583 --> 01:09:35,374
I am a narcissistic psychopath.

1315
01:09:35,374 --> 01:09:38,333
I do things you would consider bad.

1316
01:09:38,333 --> 01:09:40,458
I'm direct and honest about it,

1317
01:09:40,458 --> 01:09:43,374
yet they still believe that
in the heart of it all,

1318
01:09:43,374 --> 01:09:45,708
there is a good person from
some part trying to escape.

1319
01:09:46,041 --> 01:09:47,541
There really isn't any.

1320
01:09:47,833 --> 01:09:50,458
They are what you would call
an evil person,

1321
01:09:50,458 --> 01:09:53,124
and I don't have a shred of redemption in me.

1322
01:09:53,124 --> 01:09:55,874
I make no apologies for this. I'm
being clear about it.

1323
01:09:55,874 --> 01:09:58,041
Yet you still believe the opposite.

1324
01:09:58,291 --> 01:10:00,333
And call us the disappointed.

1325
01:10:04,749 --> 01:10:07,583
I don't think people love the idea of that

1326
01:10:07,916 --> 01:10:11,166
evil is walking not only among them,

1327
01:10:11,166 --> 01:10:13,916
but he could sleep next to them, and

1328
01:10:13,916 --> 01:10:15,624
it could be their neighbor.

1329
01:10:15,624 --> 01:10:18,958
We are encouraged to think
in this childish way

1330
01:10:18,958 --> 01:10:20,958
that everyone has good intentions.

1331
01:10:20,958 --> 01:10:22,874
People don't do this kind of thing.

1332
01:10:22,874 --> 01:10:24,083
It's not a Disney movie.

1333
01:10:24,083 --> 01:10:26,833
Not everything works well in the real world.

1334
01:10:26,833 --> 01:10:29,041
Disasters are real,
the tragedies are real.

1335
01:10:29,041 --> 01:10:30,458
Good guys don't always win.

1336
01:10:30,583 --> 01:10:32,833
People tend to believe
in the best of people.

1337
01:10:32,833 --> 01:10:35,874
They tend to believe others
they are not lying.

1338
01:10:35,874 --> 01:10:38,708
Especially if you're not
lying to other people.

1339
01:10:40,499 --> 01:10:42,416
And so when they are deceived or

1340
01:10:42,416 --> 01:10:46,624
they discover that they have been manipulated.

1341
01:10:46,624 --> 01:10:47,791
It's shocking.

1342
01:10:51,499 --> 01:10:52,666
There is beauty.

1343
01:10:53,208 --> 01:10:56,333
There is aesthetics in destroying
another human being,

1344
01:10:57,041 --> 01:10:58,583
in penetrating,

1345
01:10:59,249 --> 01:11:01,041
when rearranging furniture,

1346
01:11:01,041 --> 01:11:02,458
the mental furniture,

1347
01:11:02,874 --> 01:11:04,666
and take control of his mind

1348
01:11:05,499 --> 01:11:07,208
and do with it as you will.

1349
01:11:07,541 --> 01:11:09,166
There is infinite power

1350
01:11:09,624 --> 01:11:11,708
in eliminating another person.

1351
01:11:12,708 --> 01:11:13,999
Divine power.

1352
01:11:14,333 --> 01:11:16,833
It's addictive. Certain.

1353
01:11:21,458 --> 01:11:25,041
So I added him on social media,

1354
01:11:25,041 --> 01:11:28,333
and I wrote to him saying that
I had seen it on a program

1355
01:11:28,333 --> 01:11:32,416
with a great TV presenter
British, who interviewed him.

1356
01:11:32,416 --> 01:11:36,083
So I arranged
to meet him on Monday.

1357
01:11:36,083 --> 01:11:37,124
It will be in two days.

1358
01:11:40,958 --> 01:11:42,083
The email.

1359
01:11:42,083 --> 01:11:44,249
It's so interesting to watch it,

1360
01:11:44,249 --> 01:11:46,249
because they start out quite formally.

1361
01:11:46,249 --> 01:11:50,499
However, when it seems like now

1362
01:11:51,124 --> 01:11:54,208
that I will really be there, I notice
slight changes in speech.

1363
01:11:54,208 --> 01:11:55,624
It's more informal.

1364
01:11:55,958 --> 01:11:58,999
Good afternoon Isla,
please call me Sam.

1365
01:11:58,999 --> 01:12:01,833
Oh, why did I call him Professor,

1366
01:12:02,083 --> 01:12:05,708
so I think he's baiting me.

1367
01:12:06,874 --> 01:12:08,749
I'm the next target.

1368
01:12:13,499 --> 01:12:16,958
I don't want him to do that
hurt another woman.

1369
01:12:17,333 --> 01:12:19,333
It must be stopped.

1370
01:12:29,583 --> 01:12:32,041
Let's go. There's no going back now.

1371
01:12:36,833 --> 01:12:39,708
We have very tight deadlines for
take a flight to Croatia.

1372
01:12:41,249 --> 01:12:42,083
Okay,

1373
01:12:42,083 --> 01:12:42,916
I found it.

1374
01:12:43,374 --> 01:12:45,958
I just hope this
trip is not useless.

1375
01:12:57,999 --> 01:12:59,291
We did it.

1376
01:12:59,874 --> 01:13:01,083
Three flights.

1377
01:13:02,083 --> 01:13:04,999
Very close coincidences,
but all the equipment arrived.

1378
01:13:05,499 --> 01:13:06,374
Thank you.

1379
01:13:06,374 --> 01:13:06,999
Okay?

1380
01:13:06,999 --> 01:13:07,583
Yes.

1381
01:13:08,166 --> 01:13:09,041
Excellent.

1382
01:13:18,791 --> 01:13:20,833
I have no idea what will happen tomorrow,

1383
01:13:20,833 --> 01:13:23,583
but I feel a huge
sense of responsibility,

1384
01:13:24,208 --> 01:13:26,583
I represent all the victims.

1385
01:13:27,208 --> 01:13:29,583
I have no doubt
that he is a very bad man,

1386
01:13:30,249 --> 01:13:31,166
a very bad man.

1387
01:13:37,208 --> 01:13:41,999
This is the place where
we will do the interview tomorrow.

1388
01:13:42,958 --> 01:13:45,374
Anyway, I'm looking at the graffiti:

1389
01:13:45,583 --> 01:13:47,291
«I keep my hair tied up.

1390
01:13:47,958 --> 01:13:51,124
I have wings to carry me away."

1391
01:14:17,249 --> 01:14:19,833
He said, Yes. E.T.A. seven minutes.

1392
01:14:20,583 --> 01:14:21,874
Stay here guys.

1393
01:14:21,874 --> 01:14:22,874
Come down, right?

1394
01:14:23,416 --> 01:14:25,374
Oh God, it's freezing.

1395
01:14:33,208 --> 01:14:34,208
He is there.

1396
01:14:34,208 --> 01:14:35,833
He is behind us. Yes, it's there.

1397
01:14:35,833 --> 01:14:37,541
It's him. He is behind us.

1398
01:14:39,249 --> 01:14:40,333
HI!

1399
01:14:41,583 --> 01:14:43,124
Finally we meet.

1400
01:14:43,124 --> 01:14:44,833
How are you? Isla.

1401
01:14:47,083 --> 01:14:48,749
All right, let's get in here.

1402
01:14:54,083 --> 01:14:55,374
Let's go in.

1403
01:14:55,999 --> 01:14:56,958
Let's go.

1404
01:14:56,958 --> 01:14:58,249
Oh, great space.

1405
01:14:58,249 --> 01:14:59,333
Yes.

1406
01:14:59,333 --> 01:15:00,083
Hello.

1407
01:15:00,083 --> 01:15:01,499
This is Professor Vaknin.

1408
01:15:01,499 --> 01:15:02,333
I'm Sam.

1409
01:15:20,624 --> 01:15:24,583
Professor Vaknin. It's a pleasure
to finally be here with you.

1410
01:15:24,916 --> 01:15:27,458
And my first question,
which is huge, that is,

1411
01:15:27,458 --> 01:15:32,291
Narcissists never feel remorse

1412
01:15:32,583 --> 01:15:36,208
for what they have
done to their victims?

1413
01:15:36,208 --> 01:15:37,874
Do they ever feel remorse?

1414
01:15:38,708 --> 01:15:43,083
Few narcissistic people would perceive
other people as victims.

1415
01:15:43,083 --> 01:15:46,124
Most narcissists
he would be self-victimizing.

1416
01:15:46,124 --> 01:15:48,666
He would assume a victim identity.

1417
01:15:48,958 --> 01:15:50,833
They would reformulate the situation,

1418
01:15:50,833 --> 01:15:52,666
they would create a new narrative

1419
01:15:52,666 --> 01:15:55,749
where this could be
was, for example, inevitable

1420
01:15:56,124 --> 01:15:57,208
or provoked.

1421
01:15:57,458 --> 01:15:58,499
They would say:

1422
01:15:59,041 --> 01:16:02,958
“I abused her because I have to
wake up and see reality.

1423
01:16:02,958 --> 01:16:05,208
That's tough love, you know?"

1424
01:16:05,208 --> 01:16:06,499
That's why I abuse her.

1425
01:16:07,333 --> 01:16:08,583
That's why I criticize it.

1426
01:16:08,583 --> 01:16:09,833
That's why I denigrate it.

1427
01:16:09,833 --> 01:16:11,458
Because it's the only way to wake her up,

1428
01:16:11,624 --> 01:16:13,124
and she has to face reality.

1429
01:16:13,124 --> 01:16:15,916
Otherwise it would have been
exploited. I'm protecting her.

1430
01:16:16,458 --> 01:16:19,333
They would have declared themselves
victims in the situation

1431
01:16:19,833 --> 01:16:23,041
and they might end up, for example,
sexually assault someone.

1432
01:16:23,374 --> 01:16:26,958
They would see it as an assault
sexual? or they would see it as...

1433
01:16:26,958 --> 01:16:27,791
Yes...

1434
01:16:27,791 --> 01:16:30,458
Or they would know the difference
between right and wrong?

1435
01:16:30,458 --> 01:16:33,541
Yes, they would reword it.
They would say: «My attack...

1436
01:16:33,708 --> 01:16:35,749
it's justified because it tickled me

1437
01:16:35,749 --> 01:16:38,624
either he provoked me or he has me
deceived or whatever.

1438
01:16:38,833 --> 01:16:40,999
It's a fair punishment.

1439
01:16:40,999 --> 01:16:44,458
Or maybe she was stupid enough to
invite me to his hotel room.

1440
01:16:44,708 --> 01:16:47,499
He deserves it. He deserved it, etc.

1441
01:16:47,499 --> 01:16:50,416
So there are many
narratives of justification.

1442
01:16:51,458 --> 01:16:54,124
How do narcissists react if…

1443
01:16:54,749 --> 01:16:57,833
do they unmask, challenge or discover them?

1444
01:16:58,458 --> 01:17:00,458
The most probable reaction,

1445
01:17:00,458 --> 01:17:03,458
the narcissist would devalue
the source of the unmasking.

1446
01:17:03,708 --> 01:17:07,708
So, what if I exposed the narcissist
or criticize him,

1447
01:17:07,708 --> 01:17:09,291
disagree with the narcissist

1448
01:17:09,958 --> 01:17:11,374
or attack him,

1449
01:17:11,499 --> 01:17:13,833
So, now it's skinless.

1450
01:17:14,083 --> 01:17:15,583
There is no firewall.

1451
01:17:15,583 --> 01:17:17,083
He is in direct contact with reality.

1452
01:17:17,083 --> 01:17:18,416
He can no longer deny that,

1453
01:17:18,874 --> 01:17:22,999
having considered himself a
genius, he's actually an idiot.

1454
01:17:22,999 --> 01:17:25,958
Having considered himself
accomplished, it is actually a failure.

1455
01:17:25,958 --> 01:17:27,624
He can't deny it anymore.

1456
01:17:27,624 --> 01:17:29,208
All defenses collapse

1457
01:17:29,541 --> 01:17:31,624
and he remained face to face

1458
01:17:31,624 --> 01:17:33,583
with this internal monster.

1459
01:17:33,874 --> 01:17:34,583
The shame.

1460
01:17:35,083 --> 01:17:36,874
The shame is overwhelming.

1461
01:17:37,083 --> 01:17:40,166
You force him to face reality.

1462
01:17:41,083 --> 01:17:43,749
He resents it,
his defenses activate

1463
01:17:44,291 --> 01:17:45,291
and attacks you.

1464
01:17:45,999 --> 01:17:48,291
You're the one abusing. You fit me
making a victim.

1465
01:17:48,624 --> 01:17:50,541
It would devalue your morality,

1466
01:17:50,708 --> 01:17:53,874
conduct, bad
conduct or that attributed.

1467
01:17:53,874 --> 01:17:55,708
He would say you're a bad person.

1468
01:17:55,708 --> 01:17:57,333
That's why you act this way.

1469
01:17:57,916 --> 01:17:59,041
So he would demonize you.

1470
01:18:00,124 --> 01:18:04,499
But we must be aware,
because narcissists are dangerous.

1471
01:18:04,833 --> 01:18:08,041
I highly recommend not
feel sympathy for narcissists,

1472
01:18:09,333 --> 01:18:11,166
under any pretext.

1473
01:18:11,166 --> 01:18:15,833
And so, I think we should
judge other people based on

1474
01:18:16,124 --> 01:18:17,916
to the consequences of their actions,

1475
01:18:18,749 --> 01:18:21,749
and their ability to control
and modulate their behavior

1476
01:18:21,749 --> 01:18:23,374
and their willingness to do so.

1477
01:18:23,749 --> 01:18:26,249
Narcissists are seriously dangerous.

1478
01:18:26,249 --> 01:18:27,333
It's really bad.

1479
01:18:27,833 --> 01:18:28,666
Really bad.

1480
01:18:28,958 --> 01:18:30,916
In a way, it's a form of psychosis,

1481
01:18:31,208 --> 01:18:32,708
and many aspects are affected.

1482
01:18:33,208 --> 01:18:35,249
But one of the things that is not affected

1483
01:18:35,749 --> 01:18:38,208
it is the ability to distinguish
good from evil.

1484
01:18:38,874 --> 01:18:40,291
The ability to choose.

1485
01:18:40,833 --> 01:18:43,708
The narcissist, for example, is
fully, fully aware

1486
01:18:43,999 --> 01:18:46,374
of his actions

1487
01:18:46,374 --> 01:18:49,083
and the impacts that its
actions they would have on others,

1488
01:18:49,083 --> 01:18:50,666
but he doesn't care at all.

1489
01:18:52,708 --> 01:18:57,083
Thus, he is aware of evil
What did he do in his life?

1490
01:18:57,624 --> 01:19:01,208
My private life is excluded,
I thought we had an agreement on...

1491
01:19:01,208 --> 01:19:02,874
Oh yes, yes.

1492
01:19:03,333 --> 01:19:05,999
But I'm speaking, you know, from the point
from a professional point of view.

1493
01:19:07,249 --> 01:19:08,416
Are you aware of it?

1494
01:19:08,416 --> 01:19:09,874
Are narcissists aware?

1495
01:19:09,874 --> 01:19:13,249
No, you as... in your profession.

1496
01:19:13,249 --> 01:19:14,708
So he's talking
of my private life.

1497
01:19:14,708 --> 01:19:17,083
I thought we had

1498
01:19:17,083 --> 01:19:18,666
an agreement not to include
my private life.

1499
01:19:18,666 --> 01:19:21,708
Because I have to. I have to
ask her about her work.

1500
01:19:21,708 --> 01:19:22,833
My job has nothing to do...

1501
01:19:22,833 --> 01:19:25,583
As a professional and taking advantage

1502
01:19:25,874 --> 01:19:30,166
of the victims through his
role, his profession.

1503
01:19:30,166 --> 01:19:35,624
What I saw are
hundreds and hundreds of documents

1504
01:19:36,124 --> 01:19:39,624
that were shown to me,
including photographic evidence

1505
01:19:39,958 --> 01:19:41,874
of the damage it caused to the victims,

1506
01:19:41,999 --> 01:19:45,041
to patients undergoing therapy,

1507
01:19:45,041 --> 01:19:47,833
and of her who, in her role
professional, takes advantage of them,

1508
01:19:48,791 --> 01:19:51,041
causing them psychological harm

1509
01:19:51,041 --> 01:19:54,708
abusing them and
forcing them to perform sexual acts,

1510
01:19:55,041 --> 01:19:59,166
and infecting them
knowingly with HPV...

1511
01:19:59,374 --> 01:20:02,208
I actually don't know about it...

1512
01:20:02,208 --> 01:20:03,624
Sleep deprivation,

1513
01:20:03,624 --> 01:20:05,874
behavioral contracts...

1514
01:20:05,874 --> 01:20:09,458
I was shown all this
and I have to ask her for explanations.

1515
01:20:10,208 --> 01:20:13,499
I am sorry. This goes beyond the
boundaries of what we have agreed upon.

1516
01:20:13,499 --> 01:20:16,124
Does he know he hurt these women?

1517
01:20:16,124 --> 01:20:19,083
I'm sorry, but we agreed to
Don't discuss my private life.

1518
01:20:19,083 --> 01:20:22,999
And obviously, I didn't do anything
wrong to anyone, as far as I know.

1519
01:20:23,333 --> 01:20:27,999
So if we were to look into
documents and photographs

1520
01:20:27,999 --> 01:20:30,749
that you have had sexual intercourse or...

1521
01:20:30,749 --> 01:20:33,749
We had an agreement not to
discuss my private life.

1522
01:20:33,749 --> 01:20:35,624
It's not private. It's his job.

1523
01:20:35,624 --> 01:20:36,708
It's his profession.

1524
01:20:36,708 --> 01:20:39,499
She is a therapist and receives patients
vulnerable people who ask you for help...

1525
01:20:39,499 --> 01:20:41,499
I'm not a therapist. I am
a psychology professor.

1526
01:20:41,499 --> 01:20:44,458
It plays the role of
consultant for women.

1527
01:20:44,458 --> 01:20:46,208
If you persist with this line of questioning,

1528
01:20:46,458 --> 01:20:48,333
in violation of what was agreed...

1529
01:20:48,499 --> 01:20:50,458
It's not a violation because it's my...

1530
01:20:50,458 --> 01:20:51,499
It's a violation...

1531
01:20:51,499 --> 01:20:53,416
It is my duty as a professional

1532
01:20:54,208 --> 01:20:56,416
examine how it behaves

1533
01:20:56,416 --> 01:20:59,374
as a professional and I must
address the issue with you.

1534
01:20:59,833 --> 01:21:01,124
But that's not what we're about
we had agreed to discuss.

1535
01:21:01,124 --> 01:21:05,333
He feels guilty about it
What did he do to these women?

1536
01:21:05,333 --> 01:21:06,999
I won't talk about...

1537
01:21:06,999 --> 01:21:09,458
When they come to you,
broken and in need of help.

1538
01:21:09,458 --> 01:21:11,458
Do you think you deserve prison?

1539
01:21:11,458 --> 01:21:14,624
I'm willing to continue talking to her
of narcissistic personality disorder.

1540
01:21:14,624 --> 01:21:16,499
As an expert on the topic.

1541
01:21:16,749 --> 01:21:18,458
He thinks he deserves...

1542
01:21:18,458 --> 01:21:19,999
If you wish; otherwise...

1543
01:21:19,999 --> 01:21:22,249
to be taken to court
for what he did?

1544
01:21:23,166 --> 01:21:25,916
Do you want to say something to these women?

1545
01:21:26,124 --> 01:21:26,624
Listen, Isla,

1546
01:21:26,791 --> 01:21:29,541
I suggest you finish...

1547
01:21:30,958 --> 01:21:31,666
just...

1548
01:21:32,499 --> 01:21:33,458
How do we conclude?

1549
01:21:33,916 --> 01:21:37,208
Are you denying what I'm asking, Sam?

1550
01:21:40,708 --> 01:21:45,166
As a professional, it is my job and
must carry out the necessary checks.

1551
01:21:45,166 --> 01:21:48,624
I'll show you photos of me with clients.

1552
01:21:49,958 --> 01:21:52,958
He didn't use any
sexual coercion with them.

1553
01:21:52,958 --> 01:21:56,666
Lydia, you are very wrong
in what you're saying.

1554
01:21:58,749 --> 01:22:00,124
Do not participate.

1555
01:22:03,583 --> 01:22:05,458
Of course he's right,

1556
01:22:05,958 --> 01:22:08,458
but we had an agreement on
interview topics.

1557
01:22:08,458 --> 01:22:09,749
But it's not personal.

1558
01:22:09,749 --> 01:22:10,874
It's personal.

1559
01:22:10,874 --> 01:22:11,708
It's professional.

1560
01:22:11,708 --> 01:22:13,583
But I can't have someone like...

1561
01:22:13,583 --> 01:22:14,666
And this is a behavior
unethical of him.

1562
01:22:15,124 --> 01:22:16,333
But I don't agree.

1563
01:22:16,333 --> 01:22:17,958
He could have written to me.

1564
01:22:17,958 --> 01:22:20,249
Look, this is what I'd like to discuss.

1565
01:22:20,249 --> 01:22:22,874
And then I would have agreed or not.

1566
01:22:22,874 --> 01:22:27,541
But suddenly present it as
a truth is a kind of trap,

1567
01:22:27,874 --> 01:22:29,833
extremely incorrect behavior.

1568
01:22:29,833 --> 01:22:31,874
And as a documentarian he should know.

1569
01:22:34,999 --> 01:22:36,333
I don't agree.

1570
01:22:36,333 --> 01:22:39,833
I think what I saw is unethical,

1571
01:22:40,124 --> 01:22:41,333
as well as harmful and criminal...

1572
01:22:41,333 --> 01:22:42,291
Have you seen it in person?

1573
01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:43,541
I have...

1574
01:22:43,541 --> 01:22:44,291
Can you send it to me?

1575
01:22:44,291 --> 01:22:45,916
It was shown to me.

1576
01:22:47,416 --> 01:22:50,791
Things will happen correctly.

1577
01:23:31,458 --> 01:23:34,458
Present it suddenly
like a trap

1578
01:23:34,458 --> 01:23:36,208
it is extremely incorrect behavior

1579
01:23:36,208 --> 01:23:38,416
and as a documentarian he should know.

1580
01:23:39,333 --> 01:23:40,541
He's very, very angry,

1581
01:23:41,166 --> 01:23:42,249
very angry and

1582
01:23:42,833 --> 01:23:43,874
scared

1583
01:23:44,541 --> 01:23:46,083
and a bit in shock.

1584
01:23:46,249 --> 01:23:49,791
But he wanted to pass it off as if you
I had committed a moral wrong.

1585
01:23:49,791 --> 01:23:53,833
He abused women, he did
sex with them, manipulated them,

1586
01:23:53,833 --> 01:23:56,291
he tried to push them to commit suicide
and deprived them of sleep.

1587
01:23:56,291 --> 01:23:58,333
This is his life
private. It's not immoral.

1588
01:23:58,333 --> 01:24:01,374
According to him, it is immoral that
you ask questions about it.

1589
01:24:01,374 --> 01:24:04,499
And when people see it
victims of narcissistic abuse...

1590
01:24:04,499 --> 01:24:04,874
Yes...

1591
01:24:04,874 --> 01:24:06,499
they will recognize themselves in this...

1592
01:24:06,499 --> 01:24:07,208
Yes, yes, yes.

1593
01:24:07,208 --> 01:24:08,208
This is what is immoral.

1594
01:24:08,208 --> 01:24:10,541
You're immoral because you ask me,
not me for what I did.

1595
01:24:10,541 --> 01:24:13,083
The “Oh, it's a private matter” argument.

1596
01:24:13,083 --> 01:24:14,083
No, it's not.

1597
01:24:14,083 --> 01:24:18,041
He gets paid to deliver
therapeutic counseling...

1598
01:24:18,041 --> 01:24:18,874
So he offers therapy.

1599
01:24:18,874 --> 01:24:20,874
He uses the word therapy specifically.

1600
01:24:20,874 --> 01:24:23,708
He used it several times. It can't slip away.

1601
01:24:24,124 --> 01:24:25,958
He can argue that it wasn't therapy.

1602
01:24:25,958 --> 01:24:27,958
You can argue that not
It's nobody's business.

1603
01:24:27,958 --> 01:24:29,958
It is absolutely in the public interest.

1604
01:24:29,958 --> 01:24:31,249
Yes, it's fucked.

1605
01:24:36,083 --> 01:24:39,749
I went there and,
during the interview,

1606
01:24:40,833 --> 01:24:44,666
he almost admitted or explained
every single thing he did.

1607
01:24:45,333 --> 01:24:48,083
He even talks about rape
and sexual assault.

1608
01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:50,833
It's your greatest hope
that he ends up in prison?

1609
01:24:50,833 --> 01:24:52,749
What I really want

1610
01:24:52,749 --> 01:24:55,249
is that no other woman

1611
01:24:55,249 --> 01:24:57,916
ended up a victim of him.

1612
01:24:58,166 --> 01:25:02,291
My biggest dream is
that no longer has access

1613
01:25:02,291 --> 01:25:04,916
to any woman in his life.

1614
01:25:04,916 --> 01:25:08,166
But knowing how much it is
that bastard is compulsive,

1615
01:25:08,166 --> 01:25:10,541
how deceptive it is,

1616
01:25:10,541 --> 01:25:13,791
the best way to keep it
away from people

1617
01:25:13,791 --> 01:25:15,916
it would, of course,
send him to prison.

1618
01:25:16,166 --> 01:25:20,416
You paid for it as a professional.

1619
01:25:22,041 --> 01:25:24,708
And he took advantage
completely about you.

1620
01:25:34,333 --> 01:25:38,833
I think it's difficult for them
men report abuse

1621
01:25:38,833 --> 01:25:41,374
of a narcissistic woman because

1622
01:25:41,374 --> 01:25:43,458
as men we suffer the stigma that

1623
01:25:43,458 --> 01:25:46,083
we should be strong and tough.

1624
01:25:46,083 --> 01:25:49,333
We shouldn't show
emotions nor being weak.

1625
01:25:49,333 --> 01:25:52,333
So I think for many
men is difficult to admit

1626
01:25:52,958 --> 01:25:54,541
of being able to suffer abuse.

1627
01:25:56,958 --> 01:26:00,499
But I want everyone to know
that abuse has no gender.

1628
01:26:00,708 --> 01:26:01,708
You can come out into the open.

1629
01:26:01,708 --> 01:26:05,208
It's normal to get emotional or
show yourself vulnerable.

1630
01:26:05,208 --> 01:26:07,041
You know, there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

1631
01:26:08,041 --> 01:26:09,583
That grieving process.

1632
01:26:09,583 --> 01:26:13,458
It's very real for who
go through that revelation

1633
01:26:13,458 --> 01:26:15,374
and then that resurrection, if we want.

1634
01:26:15,374 --> 01:26:18,833
For me there is nothing more beautiful than chi
he is a survivor of narcissistic abuse.

1635
01:26:18,833 --> 01:26:23,124
That experience instills in the person
a splendid and profound poem.

1636
01:26:23,124 --> 01:26:27,708
Having gone through something of the
genre and still be standing.

1637
01:26:27,708 --> 01:26:31,874
I believe survivors of abuse
narcissistic that emerge from it

1638
01:26:31,874 --> 01:26:34,166
truly the most interesting among those present.

1639
01:26:58,041 --> 01:27:00,041
It's strange. Every time I come back

1640
01:27:00,041 --> 01:27:02,208
in places where certain things happened.

1641
01:27:02,208 --> 01:27:05,458
Just look over there and see the balcony
where we first met.

1642
01:27:05,458 --> 01:27:09,624
You know, I'm just a few houses away
distance, but it seems like a lifetime away.

1643
01:27:09,624 --> 01:27:13,333
For a long time I didn't speak, though
fear of what could happen.

1644
01:27:13,708 --> 01:27:18,583
Then, once torn
the patch, all the things

1645
01:27:19,374 --> 01:27:22,416
that you feared would happen:
reprisals, blackmail,

1646
01:27:22,874 --> 01:27:25,583
everything, the countryside
defamatory. But stay standing

1647
01:27:26,208 --> 01:27:31,458
and nothing can break you
as much as you were before.

1648
01:27:31,708 --> 01:27:33,708
You know, I can't cancel
what happened to me.

1649
01:27:33,708 --> 01:27:35,583
But maybe I can help someone else,

1650
01:27:36,374 --> 01:27:39,208
maybe arrive on time earlier
let someone else do it.

1651
01:27:40,083 --> 01:27:41,166
It would be nice.

1652
01:27:44,083 --> 01:27:47,874
We live in a pandemic
of pathological narcissism.

1653
01:27:47,874 --> 01:27:50,416
We should start educating the public

1654
01:27:50,416 --> 01:27:52,416
about their existence

1655
01:27:52,416 --> 01:27:54,958
and how much damage they can cause.

1656
01:27:54,958 --> 01:27:59,874
The bewilderment, the suffering and the
destruction they can sow

1657
01:28:00,124 --> 01:28:03,624
in society they are perhaps much greater

1658
01:28:03,624 --> 01:28:05,791
than those of everyone else
mental disorders combined.

1659
01:28:07,374 --> 01:28:10,041
Just look at the idols
of our culture,

1660
01:28:10,041 --> 01:28:12,208
the most important people
of our culture,

1661
01:28:12,208 --> 01:28:15,708
to understand that only one culture
narcissistic and psychopathic would support them.

1662
01:28:15,708 --> 01:28:18,958
They are not narcissists or psychopaths

1663
01:28:18,958 --> 01:28:21,958
the problem. We are the problem
we who follow them and listen.

1664
01:28:23,999 --> 01:28:27,291
The world is currently
invaded by this phenomenon,

1665
01:28:27,291 --> 01:28:29,208
and more and more toxic people

1666
01:28:29,208 --> 01:28:31,458
increasingly dominate the scene,

1667
01:28:31,458 --> 01:28:35,333
causing more and more damage
to the rest of the population.

1668
01:28:48,249 --> 01:28:52,249
If we consider everyone
the evils of the world, how

1669
01:28:52,249 --> 01:28:55,458
war, greed,
human trafficking,

1670
01:28:55,458 --> 01:28:57,208
the destruction of the environment,

1671
01:28:57,499 --> 01:29:00,541
there is invariably one of our own behind it.

1672
01:29:01,874 --> 01:29:04,624
As long as normal people
and empathetic ones

1673
01:29:04,624 --> 01:29:06,124
they will remain unaware

1674
01:29:06,124 --> 01:29:08,874
of the presence of
narcissists among them,

1675
01:29:09,666 --> 01:29:12,208
we will prevail.