1
00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:02,400
Previously on "Wrecked"...

2
00:00:02,433 --> 00:00:04,067
The Barracuda: You'll come by
my tent every night.

3
00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:05,400
What's in it for me?

4
00:00:05,433 --> 00:00:07,200
I'm kidding.
Obviously, sex, isn't it?

5
00:00:07,233 --> 00:00:09,367
Oh, and I'm pregnant.
And you're the father.

6
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,033
Obviously, there's no way
that she's pregnant.

7
00:00:11,067 --> 00:00:12,367
Okay.
What do you need me to do?

8
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,867
Just one more big push,
Rosa.

9
00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:15,067
Okay.
You can do it.

10
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:16,667
Oh, my! [ Gasps ]

11
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:17,867
It's a baby!

12
00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:19,700
Bye.

13
00:00:19,733 --> 00:00:20,900
**

14
00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:22,533
Oh, my goodness!
Oh!

15
00:00:22,567 --> 00:00:24,400
We did it!
Oh, my God!

16
00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:26,733
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughing ] Oh!

17
00:00:26,767 --> 00:00:28,200
[ Sighs ]

18
00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:30,467
You did it.

19
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,967
Okay, you're a good doctor,
Dr. Florence.

20
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,700
No, I'm not.

21
00:00:34,733 --> 00:00:36,633
I'm a bad doctor.

22
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:40,167
What?
I'm a naughty doctor.

23
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,533
**

24
00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:43,633
What are you gonna do
about it?

25
00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:45,733
What do I want to do
about it?
Yeah.

26
00:00:45,767 --> 00:00:50,067
**

27
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:52,633
[ Seagulls calling ]

28
00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:53,900
Ahh!

29
00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:56,133
Jesus, Karen!

30
00:00:56,167 --> 00:00:57,700
The pirates
returned our luggage.

31
00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,100
Also,
you have a boner.

32
00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:04,200
Come on!

33
00:01:04,233 --> 00:01:06,033
**

34
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:07,500
Well,
all my jewelry's gone,

35
00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:09,167
but it's not
a total bust,

36
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,833
because they left me with...
a single Q-tip.

37
00:01:11,867 --> 00:01:13,133
Oh, God damn it!

38
00:01:13,167 --> 00:01:14,633
The cut all the nipples
out of my shirts!

39
00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:15,633
[ Chuckles ]

40
00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:17,533
Hey,
I cut the titties out!

41
00:01:17,567 --> 00:01:18,900
[ Laughs ]

42
00:01:18,933 --> 00:01:20,467
What's up, dawg?

43
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:21,533
I mean, I think
that's a good look.

44
00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:22,733
Really?
Oh, yeah.

45
00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:24,400
You think
that this is a good look.

46
00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:26,067
Oh, yeah.
You could pull that off.

47
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,533
I'm glad they stole
your jewelry.

48
00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:29,233
What is happening
over there?

49
00:01:29,267 --> 00:01:30,467
Are they flirting?

50
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,833
[ Laughs ]
What the hell --
Mario?

51
00:01:32,867 --> 00:01:34,367
Florence: It's gonna be painful.
Mm-hmm.

52
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,867
Aw, pbht!
Check me, I'll figure it out.

53
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,033
Hey!

54
00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:38,367
Hey!

55
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,300
Are you friends
flirting?

56
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,500
What?!
What?!

57
00:01:41,533 --> 00:01:43,367
Flirting --
We're not flirting.

58
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,167
We're talking.
Oh, my God.
You're flirting!

59
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,300
Oh.
Turns out I was flirting.

60
00:01:49,333 --> 00:01:50,833
Oh, what?

61
00:01:50,867 --> 00:01:52,167
Yes! [ Laughs ]

62
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,867
Babe,
they didn't take

63
00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:56,067
my Roger by Roger Federer
sweatbands.

64
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Suckers were sitting
on a gold mine,

65
00:01:57,733 --> 00:01:59,000
didn't even know it.

66
00:01:59,033 --> 00:02:00,333
I don't get it.

67
00:02:00,367 --> 00:02:02,967
Why would they give us
our stuff back now?

68
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,233
Who cares?
They must be leaving.

69
00:02:06,267 --> 00:02:08,067
Good riddance.
Pirate rule is horse shit.

70
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,633
Todd, these pirates are our last
chance to get off the island.

71
00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:13,167
If that boat leaves,
we die here.

72
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,167
But I don't want
to die here.

73
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,067
I want to die
in Scottsdale.

74
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,333
We all do.

75
00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:19,533
That's why
we got to get on that boat.

76
00:02:19,567 --> 00:02:21,800
How?
We got nothing to offer.

77
00:02:21,833 --> 00:02:25,400
Th-There is one thing.

78
00:02:25,433 --> 00:02:27,333
[ Dramatic music plays ]

79
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I don't know.
I really like these sweatbands.

80
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,600
I got to bang
one of these pirates.
What?!

81
00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:38,333
There is no way I'm gonna let
one of these scum sacks

82
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:40,500
anywhere near your smokin'-hot
boobies and butt.

83
00:02:40,533 --> 00:02:42,200
Okay, you think
I want to do this?

84
00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:43,633
Yeah.
This is
the only way.

85
00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:45,967
In exchange for sex, we ask
for two spots on the ship.

86
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:50,167
It's a classic
reverse indecent proposal.
Reverse indecent proposal.

87
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,367
Exactly.
Hell, no.

88
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,200
No, no, no, no, no, no,
hell, no.

89
00:02:53,233 --> 00:02:54,967
I just made peace
with you and Chet.

90
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,233
I don't think I could handle
you boning down with a pirate.

91
00:02:58,267 --> 00:03:00,533
Plus, what makes you think
one of these pud-knockers

92
00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:02,500
would even
go for it?

93
00:03:02,533 --> 00:03:05,200
Well, Tank Top's been flirting
with me.
What!?

94
00:03:05,233 --> 00:03:07,700
Yeah. He's, like,
totally into me. It's
so obvious. Come on.

95
00:03:07,733 --> 00:03:09,200
All I'm saying
is that if we offer,

96
00:03:09,233 --> 00:03:11,000
I know
he'll say yes.

97
00:03:11,033 --> 00:03:13,467
Except he won't be able
to, 'cause I'm gonna
murder him by killing him.

98
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,033
Oh, my God.
Todd, listen to me.
Do this.

99
00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:16,233
Look.

100
00:03:16,267 --> 00:03:17,700
This is about
saving our lives.

101
00:03:17,733 --> 00:03:22,200
And besides,
a wiener just a wiener.

102
00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:23,533
Okay?
Don't cheek-stroke me.

103
00:03:23,567 --> 00:03:25,500
You know
I hate that.
Listen to me.

104
00:03:25,533 --> 00:03:28,200
I am your babe,
and your babe only.

105
00:03:28,233 --> 00:03:29,567
No matter what.

106
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,167
Fine.

107
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,967
But you have to wear
like 10 condoms.

108
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,367
That's not
how condoms work.

109
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,533
And you have to wrap
a shirt around it.
No!

110
00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:37,833
Oh, whew!

111
00:03:37,867 --> 00:03:40,333
[ Romantic music playing ]

112
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I bet your dead husband
never gave it to you like that.

113
00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:45,700
[ Scoffs ]
He sure didn't.

114
00:03:45,733 --> 00:03:48,167
But it'll do.

115
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,400
So,
I've been, uh,

116
00:03:49,433 --> 00:03:51,300
I've been thinking
a little bit about us.

117
00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:53,567
I have things
to do.

118
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,167
Things to do!

119
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,200
It's a Monday,
isn't it?

120
00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:01,333
You know,
you act all tough.

121
00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:04,867
But I think inside,
you're actually very tender.

122
00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:07,067
I'm not.

123
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,033
Now,
if you let me in,

124
00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:11,167
I bet
old Steve could --

125
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,300
The Barracuda.
Oh, shit.

126
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,533
Uh, the buyer
came through.

127
00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:17,367
Hello, V-Neck.
The buyer's come through?

128
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,000
[ Whispering ]
Who's the buyer?

129
00:04:19,033 --> 00:04:20,333
Can you get out?

130
00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:21,733
[ Normal voice ]
What about our conversation?

131
00:04:21,767 --> 00:04:22,967
Now!
All right!

132
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,200
**

133
00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:27,533
Todd: 'Sup, dude?
Jess: Hey. [ Laughs ]

134
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,867
Working hard
or hardly working, right?

135
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,033
[ Laughs ]

136
00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:32,333
Working hard.

137
00:04:32,367 --> 00:04:34,000
Very cool.
Mm.

138
00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:36,167
So, it looks like
you dawgs

139
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,200
are tearin' out of here soon,
huh?

140
00:04:38,233 --> 00:04:39,633
Yeah, sucks!

141
00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:42,067
Feels like we barely
got to know each other.

142
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:43,400
Okay.
What's going on?

143
00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:45,333
'Cause I've got
a lot of sorting to do,

144
00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:47,333
and I need this interaction
to be over.

145
00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:49,167
Well, we were just saying that,
you know,

146
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,400
it would be
so great

147
00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:52,167
if we could just
go on that boat with you

148
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,467
and just, like,

149
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,533
really, you know,
get to know each other.

150
00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:57,567
Yeah.
Not gonna happen.

151
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,500
Okay.

152
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:03,700
Well, what if
I have sex with you?

153
00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:07,100
[ Dramatic music plays ]

154
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,900
Reverse
indecent proposal.

155
00:05:12,933 --> 00:05:14,900
That's a bold move.

156
00:05:14,933 --> 00:05:17,300
That's a risky move.

157
00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:18,967
What makes you think
I'd be interested?

158
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,233
[ Scoffs ]

159
00:05:20,267 --> 00:05:21,700
Well, I mean, you've been
flirting with me

160
00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:24,033
for weeks,
so...
No, I haven't.

161
00:05:24,067 --> 00:05:25,633
Oh! Busted!
No.

162
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:27,333
[ Chuckling ]
Oh, my God.

163
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:28,700
She thinks everyone
is flirting with her.

164
00:05:28,733 --> 00:05:30,967
No, I don't!
Uh, yeah, you do.

165
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,533
My friend Chuck,
Tony Touch,

166
00:05:32,567 --> 00:05:34,633
Bake Show, Gawler,
my boy O-Ring...

167
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,033
Okay, O-Ring
literally proposed to me.

168
00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:38,200
So, that's...
So have I!

169
00:05:38,233 --> 00:05:39,733
That literally
means nothing!

170
00:05:39,767 --> 00:05:41,533
Tank Top: Shh! Keep it -- hey!
Keep your voices down.

171
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:44,367
So, you know what?
I am interested, but...

172
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,400
I want
something different.

173
00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:51,667
I'm talkin' about a reverse
reverse indecent proposal.

174
00:05:52,533 --> 00:05:55,067
So, a...
decent proposal?

175
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:57,400
See, it turns out,
um...

176
00:05:57,433 --> 00:05:59,333
I'm quite bi-curious.

177
00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:00,967
Oh! Oh, no.

178
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,633
So yeah, I think
I can get you on that boat,

179
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:07,533
but, uh, I'm gonna want
to do both of you.

180
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,033
Together.

181
00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:12,533
**

182
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:18,033
This dude's crazy.

183
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:19,367
He's playing mind games
with us.

184
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,567
What are you
talking about?

185
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,133
You've always wanted
to have a threesome.

186
00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:24,500
I've always wanted to have
a threesome with another girl.

187
00:06:24,533 --> 00:06:26,067
Four boobies, one dong --
the way God intended.

188
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,567
Read the Bible!

189
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,367
Uh, why can't it be two boobs
and two dongs, huh?

190
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,233
What?
The hell kind of math is that?

191
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,667
Are you serious?
Oh, my God.

192
00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:35,833
Todd, are you really
not gonna do this?

193
00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:38,300
I just -- I think that we should
go back to the OG plan

194
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:39,967
and tell him
that it's you and you alone.

195
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,367
10 minutes ago, you didn't
want me to do that at all!

196
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,500
Babe, it's like you said --
a wiener's a wiener.

197
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:45,867
Oh, my God.
And a butt's a butt.

198
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:47,167
So you man up,

199
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,233
and you [bleep] that pirate
with me.

200
00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:51,500
Jess,
come on.

201
00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:53,000
Hey!

202
00:06:53,033 --> 00:06:56,000
This reverse
reverse indecent proposal

203
00:06:56,033 --> 00:06:58,567
is tearing us apart!

204
00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,567
[ Chuckles ]

205
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,333
So weird how everyone
was teasing us

206
00:07:02,367 --> 00:07:04,167
about that
we were flirting.

207
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,500
It's like,
"What?"

208
00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:07,167
What? [ Laughs ]
Right?

209
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,500
We're all stuck
on this island together.

210
00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,633
It's not like
we're gonna start hooking up

211
00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:13,333
and, like,
in the bushes,

212
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:15,167
just going down
on each other.

213
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,533
[ Chuckles ]

214
00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:18,333
That's exactly what --
why I thought it was so funny.

215
00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:19,833
It's insane.
Steve: Florence!

216
00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:22,167
Can I have a word with you,
just the two of us?

217
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,867
Yeah, just --
just you and I?

218
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,367
Um...

219
00:07:28,867 --> 00:07:30,033
Okay.

220
00:07:30,067 --> 00:07:31,367
Well,
uh, hypothetically,

221
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,300
if you were in a relationship
with someone...

222
00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:34,567
Hmm.
...and you wanted

223
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,900
to take it
to the next level...
Oh.

224
00:07:36,933 --> 00:07:38,500
...what would you do?

225
00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:40,367
How well
do you know each other?

226
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,033
Well, let's just say
we're...having sex. [ Chuckles ]

227
00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:46,167
You really expect us to believe
that someone on this island

228
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,167
who has met you
is having sex with you?

229
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,633
Yes, Owen,
because it's true!

230
00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:52,700
[ Laughs ]

231
00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:55,167
I can't hold it in!
We're doing it!

232
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,900
Doggy-style...
All right.

233
00:07:56,933 --> 00:07:58,133
Oh!
...wheelbarrow,

234
00:07:58,167 --> 00:07:59,900
upside-down,
how's your father...

235
00:07:59,933 --> 00:08:01,200
Mm.
Oh, wow.

236
00:08:01,233 --> 00:08:03,167
...so sexually,
it's, uh, pretty good.

237
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,633
Oh,
it sounds like it.

238
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:06,833
I just need some advice
on the emotional front.

239
00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:08,033
Okay.

240
00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:10,233
Steve, whoever this is
or isn't...

241
00:08:10,267 --> 00:08:12,233
Oh, it is.
Sure.

242
00:08:12,267 --> 00:08:14,333
She probably just
wants you to...

243
00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:16,167
tell her
how you feel...

244
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,700
so she can know
if the vibe is real.

245
00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,167
**

246
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,200
What is that?
Is that, like, a song lyric?

247
00:08:22,233 --> 00:08:23,800
No, Steve.
Okay?

248
00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:26,033
Just, I don't know,
take her on a date.

249
00:08:26,067 --> 00:08:28,000
Oh, a date.
Of course.

250
00:08:28,033 --> 00:08:29,500
Yeah.
Like a picnic.

251
00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:31,800
Sure, yeah.
That's cute.

252
00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:33,200
Thank you, Florence.

253
00:08:33,233 --> 00:08:35,800
And Owen,
a bit rude standing there,

254
00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:37,900
just listening
to our conversation.

255
00:08:37,933 --> 00:08:39,500
Oh, I apologize.
Thank you.

256
00:08:39,533 --> 00:08:41,500
Okay.
A bit rude.

257
00:08:41,533 --> 00:08:44,633
[ Groans ] Stupid Todd
with his stupid penis!

258
00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,500
I mean, why can't he just
have a threesome?

259
00:08:46,533 --> 00:08:49,233
What is the worst
that could happen?

260
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:52,567
[ Jam music plays ]

261
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,833
Whoa!

262
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,167
Hell, yeah.

263
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,367
Some ponging.

264
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,733
That thing --
that's hilarious.

265
00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:01,167
Yeah, I thought
we could chill a little bit

266
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,533
before we get
to humping.

267
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,533
Brews in the fridge, you guys.
Help yourselves.

268
00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:05,533
Sick.

269
00:09:05,567 --> 00:09:07,833
Lovin'
the jam-band tunes.

270
00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:10,167
Wait,
are those...

271
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,833
Roger by Roger Federer
sweatbands?

272
00:09:11,867 --> 00:09:13,167
Of course.

273
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,567
I don't hit the links
without 'em.

274
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,733
You play golf?
You bet.

275
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:18,533
I'm still working on
my scratch game. I'm a --

276
00:09:18,567 --> 00:09:21,233
Eight handicap.
Eight handicap.

277
00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:24,367
[ Chris De Burgh's
"Lady in Red" plays ]

278
00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:28,800
What are we doing?

279
00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:30,667
* Ooh

280
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,900
Jess,
you can go.

281
00:09:33,933 --> 00:09:35,533
I'm gay now.

282
00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:36,900
What?

283
00:09:36,933 --> 00:09:39,000
I don't love you.

284
00:09:39,033 --> 00:09:40,500
* I've never seen you
looking so lovely *

285
00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:43,167
I love you.
* As you did tonight

286
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,200
I know this is quick,
but...

287
00:09:45,233 --> 00:09:46,833
will you gay marry me?

288
00:09:46,867 --> 00:09:50,033
You gay bet I will.

289
00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,167
* I've never seen so many men
asking if you wanted to dance *

290
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,033
[ Screams ]

291
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,833
Oh, God.

292
00:09:56,867 --> 00:09:58,867
We can't do it.

293
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,467
He'll fall in love.

294
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,833
[ Gasps ]

295
00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:04,900
The hell's her problem?

296
00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:07,000
I got to bang some dude?

297
00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:09,167
[ Grunts, groans ]

298
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:13,233
Why can't she just do it solo?

299
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,500
[ Chris De Burgh's
"Lady in Red" plays ]

300
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,700
Wow.

301
00:10:17,733 --> 00:10:19,567
[ Sighs ]

302
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,233
This is so...
Romantic?

303
00:10:22,267 --> 00:10:23,667
* Ooh

304
00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,200
You deserve it.

305
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:29,400
* Ooh

306
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,167
See anything
you like?

307
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,033
No.
* I've never --

308
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,367
What?

309
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,700
That's tiny.
Todd has a way bigger dong.

310
00:10:37,733 --> 00:10:40,200
What if I just go down on you
for like a few hours?

311
00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:41,700
Eh, no way.
Hate that stuff.

312
00:10:41,733 --> 00:10:43,333
Well, your boyfriend
already turned me down,

313
00:10:43,367 --> 00:10:44,533
and if you don't have sex
with me,

314
00:10:44,567 --> 00:10:45,900
I'll kill
both of you.

315
00:10:45,933 --> 00:10:47,333
I don't care.

316
00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:49,333
I want Todd
and Todd only.

317
00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:51,033
Even if
it kills us.

318
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,233
Aah!

319
00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:54,200
I am...furious!

320
00:10:54,233 --> 00:10:58,567
I will
kill everyone!

321
00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,867
[ Gasps ]

322
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:01,033
Oh, God.

323
00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:03,400
I've got to be there.

324
00:11:03,433 --> 00:11:06,033
She loves me too much.

325
00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:07,700
Jess: Todd!

326
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,967
Todd!

327
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,400
Jess!

328
00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:13,667
Todd!

329
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,367
[ Grunts ]

330
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,233
You were right.
We can't have a threesome.

331
00:11:17,267 --> 00:11:18,633
No,
you were right.

332
00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:20,367
We have to
have a threesome.

333
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,167
I let you
go in there alone,

334
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,533
you'll get us
both killed.

335
00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:26,967
Wait, what?
Shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.

336
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,367
Let's go
bang a pirate.

337
00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:32,800
Where are you
taking me?

338
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:35,067
I thought you said
there was an emergency.

339
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:36,500
It's a picnic emergency.

340
00:11:36,533 --> 00:11:38,967
I don't have time for this
right now, Steve.

341
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,167
I'm very busy.

342
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,000
Five minutes.

343
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:43,700
Maybe seven.

344
00:11:43,733 --> 00:11:45,867
[ Sighs ]

345
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,567
Okay.

346
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,467
So, unfortunately,

347
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,800
I don't have
any real picnic food

348
00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:56,567
because we're stuck
on a deserted island.

349
00:11:57,567 --> 00:12:01,167
So you wrote the word "cheese"
on a rock?

350
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,167
Fancy some wine?
[ Laughs ]

351
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,800
All right.
Let's do this.

352
00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:08,500
Take your pants off.

353
00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:12,333
Uh, actually, um,
I brought you here

354
00:12:12,367 --> 00:12:14,700
because I want us
to talk.

355
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:17,300
Um, get to know
each other.

356
00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:18,500
I'll go first.

357
00:12:18,533 --> 00:12:20,367
So, something you don't know
about me

358
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,033
is I used to
be married.

359
00:12:22,067 --> 00:12:24,300
Okay?

360
00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:26,867
And my ex --
she cheated on me.

361
00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:28,200
She used me.

362
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:31,233
And I swore I would never
let it happen again,

363
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:34,167
no matter how pipin' hot
the sex was.

364
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,167
You don't want
to have sex anymore.

365
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,567
[ Stammers ]
No, no! That's not it!

366
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,833
Please.

367
00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:41,533
I'm just trying
to get you to let me in.

368
00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:43,167
I know
that deep down,

369
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,667
underneath that cool,
tough pirate-girl image,

370
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,167
you're a nice person.

371
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,367
[ Scoffs ]

372
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,233
You don't give up,
do you, Steve?

373
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:55,133
The Barracuda!

374
00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:56,333
Aah, V-Neck!

375
00:12:56,367 --> 00:12:58,233
Have you
heard of knocking?

376
00:12:58,267 --> 00:13:00,833
Where am I supposed to knock,
Steve?

377
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,200
What is it?

378
00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:03,733
The deal's ready
to be finalized.

379
00:13:03,767 --> 00:13:05,233
I have to go.

380
00:13:05,267 --> 00:13:07,833
**

381
00:13:07,867 --> 00:13:10,167
Thanks for the cheese.

382
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:14,000
**

383
00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:15,200
Hey.

384
00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:16,833
We -- We talked over
your offer,

385
00:13:16,867 --> 00:13:18,567
and...
we'll do it.

386
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,367
Well,
all right.

387
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,233
But we're gonna need
to make some rules.

388
00:13:24,267 --> 00:13:25,700
Rule number one --

389
00:13:25,733 --> 00:13:27,367
You're not allowed
to fall in love with each other!

390
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,200
What?
What?

391
00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:30,700
Why would that even be
a rule?

392
00:13:30,733 --> 00:13:31,833
It is a rule!

393
00:13:31,867 --> 00:13:34,133
You both have to agree to it,
or no deal.

394
00:13:34,167 --> 00:13:37,000
All right.
Yeah, of course.

395
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,067
Okay.
Actual rule number one --

396
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,167
I hump you,
you don't hump me.

397
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,833
Wow.
That's interesting.

398
00:13:42,867 --> 00:13:45,100
You're sure you don't even want
to try it just a little bit?

399
00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:47,667
We'll play it by ear.

400
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:48,733
Final rule!

401
00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:50,167
I pick the music,
strictly jam bands.

402
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,533
No!

403
00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:52,633
No jam bands!

404
00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:54,533
No harmonicas,
no improvising, no solos.

405
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:55,967
Oh, this is not the girl
who was like...
One guitar...

406
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,800
"Take me to Widespread..."
...noodling thingie...

407
00:13:57,833 --> 00:13:59,500
...again and again
and again and...
...whatever that is.

408
00:13:59,533 --> 00:14:01,700
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Whoa, whoa whoa!

409
00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:03,733
God, you guys
fight a lot, huh?

410
00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:05,167
No.
Yes.

411
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,800
So, you down to clown
or what?

412
00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:09,400
[ Chuckles ]

413
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,367
Does it look like
I'm down to clown?

414
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,033
Oh, wow.
That's miming.

415
00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:16,733
No,
that's not clowning.

416
00:14:16,767 --> 00:14:18,800
That's real bad miming.

417
00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:20,500
[ Gasps ]
My God.

418
00:14:20,533 --> 00:14:22,167
That's --
Oh, God.

419
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,167
Oh, no.
Wow.

420
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,700
God bless!
Oh, man!

421
00:14:33,733 --> 00:14:36,633
S-So, how should we --
how should we start?

422
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,200
You in her, and them me in her,
and then we touch butts?

423
00:14:39,233 --> 00:14:40,400
Or you want
more of a sandwich sitch?

424
00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:41,867
Shh.
Or --

425
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:44,967
Show me how you normally start
when you're alone.

426
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,500
Oh, we got
this act down.
Oh. Yeah.

427
00:14:47,533 --> 00:14:49,567
Quick and dirty.
Jess, hop to it.

428
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,367
[ Groans ]
[ Spitting ]

429
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,367
Tank Top:
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

430
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,400
Hey hey! Stop.
What, are you spitting?

431
00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:56,967
Jesus, man!
What's happening?

432
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,467
What?
You told us to start slammin'.
No, no, no.

433
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,167
We're not gonna be
slammin' anything.

434
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,367
We will be making love,

435
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,033
and love
is about coming together.

436
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,233
[ Both laugh ]

437
00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:07,867
That's impossible.

438
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,700
No,
I mean becoming one.

439
00:15:09,733 --> 00:15:12,333
You two need to start listening
to each other's bodies.

440
00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:14,700
I mean really hear each other,
do you know what I mean?

441
00:15:14,733 --> 00:15:18,367
I honestly have no idea
what you're talking about.

442
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,000
Okay.
Face each other.

443
00:15:21,033 --> 00:15:25,167
Todd,
look at Jess.

444
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,700
Nope,
in the eyes.

445
00:15:26,733 --> 00:15:28,233
In the eyes?

446
00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:29,833
Why would I...

447
00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:31,533
Whoa.

448
00:15:31,567 --> 00:15:33,033
Wow.

449
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:35,233
What is happening
to us?

450
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,300
I'm getting all...

451
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,000
goose-pimply.

452
00:15:39,033 --> 00:15:40,200
[ Chuckles ]

453
00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,633
Now, Jess,
I'm guessing

454
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:43,700
that little plank-board
situation from before

455
00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:45,867
isn't exactly
how you like to get down.

456
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,500
So why don't you
tell Todd

457
00:15:47,533 --> 00:15:49,867
exactly what you want him
to do to you?

458
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:51,700
Like,
with words, or...?

459
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:54,100
Yeah, with words.
That's -- yes.

460
00:15:55,567 --> 00:15:57,200
Kiss...

461
00:15:57,233 --> 00:15:59,167
my neck.

462
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,833
Your neck?

463
00:16:01,867 --> 00:16:03,033
**

464
00:16:03,067 --> 00:16:05,100
I mean,
okay.

465
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:07,700
[ Moans ]

466
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:09,867
What's that sound?
Am I hurting you?

467
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:11,500
No!

468
00:16:11,533 --> 00:16:15,233
No,
I-I-I liked it.

469
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,200
Yeah.

470
00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:21,200
Now we're
getting going.

471
00:16:21,233 --> 00:16:23,200
[ Laughs ]

472
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:27,267
Now it's Tank Top Time.

473
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,367
Man:
All right.

474
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,300
So, he says he'll give you
$200,000 a pop

475
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,167
and he'll take
everyone under 50,

476
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,800
so that leaves
29 islanders.

477
00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:37,633
The Barracuda: Tell him
I said $250,000,

478
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:40,167
and I want them
gone tomorrow.

479
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,167
What about
everybody else?

480
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,467
Kill them.

481
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:46,700
Aah!

482
00:16:46,733 --> 00:16:48,500
**

483
00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:51,833
Caught this one outside,
eavesdropping.

484
00:16:51,867 --> 00:16:53,867
You want me
to kill him?
Steve: Please, no!

485
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,200
I didn't hear anything.

486
00:16:55,233 --> 00:16:56,467
I've actually got
an ear infection, so...

487
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:57,833
I'm just --
The Barracuda: No.

488
00:16:57,867 --> 00:17:02,233
I've decided
Steve will be coming with us.

489
00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:03,833
**

490
00:17:03,867 --> 00:17:05,400
Wow!
[ Gasps ]

491
00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:08,000
I never felt
so close to you.

492
00:17:08,033 --> 00:17:09,733
I never felt
so close to you.

493
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,200
Tank Top: Whoo!

494
00:17:11,233 --> 00:17:14,333
Oh!
Tell me about it, huh?

495
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,033
Yeah.
[ Sighs ]

496
00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:17,367
Whoo! [ Laughs ]

497
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,167
Man,
I feel loose!
Yeah.

498
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,367
I'll tell you what. Your timing
couldn't have been any better.

499
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,233
Yeah, I feel like we really
got into a nice rhythm there,

500
00:17:24,267 --> 00:17:25,467
you know?

501
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,167
No, no.
I mean The Barracuda.

502
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,000
She's about to round up
all your friends

503
00:17:29,033 --> 00:17:31,967
and cut out their organs,
sell 'em on the black market.

504
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,200
[ Scoffs ]

505
00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:34,500
Come again?

506
00:17:34,533 --> 00:17:37,200
Kidneys!
Yeah, those things sell, man.

507
00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:40,233
I tell you what,
you guys are precious capital.

508
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,200
You'll have to
kill everyone.

509
00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:44,233
Yeah,
but you know what?

510
00:17:44,267 --> 00:17:47,333
You guys don't worry,
'cause you're good.

511
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,800
You're gonna be on that boat
with me.

512
00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:51,800
And every day
is gonna be Tank Top Time.

513
00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:53,000
[ Laughs ]

514
00:17:53,033 --> 00:17:54,333
Whoo!
Aah!

515
00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:56,700
[ Laughs ]
Tank Top Time!

516
00:18:00,833 --> 00:18:02,167
Todd.

517
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,033
Todd, we have to
tell everyone!

518
00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:05,233
Okay, yeah,
that's great,

519
00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:06,733
but let's just
think this through.

520
00:18:06,767 --> 00:18:08,500
Think what through?
They're gonna kill everyone!

521
00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:09,733
I know.
I know, all right?

522
00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:11,367
But if we tell everyone
what's going on,

523
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,733
we'll lose our place
on the ship.

524
00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:14,333
That means
we just had a threesome

525
00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:16,633
with a pirate named Tank Top
for nothing!

526
00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:18,200
He was putting his fingers
in me,

527
00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:19,533
unless that was you.
Okay, shh.

528
00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:21,000
Todd, look at me.
Look at me.

529
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,367
Even if we die,

530
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,900
what we just did in there
was not for nothing.

531
00:18:25,933 --> 00:18:27,133
It was for us.

532
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:29,533
[ Both chuckle ]
I love you so much.

533
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,500
I love you.
Now, let's go tell our friends

534
00:18:31,533 --> 00:18:33,033
they're about
to get murdered.

535
00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:35,400
Okay, but we should
wash our hands first.
Hurry up.

536
00:18:35,433 --> 00:18:37,200
Man:
So I broke these two fingers

537
00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:38,800
punching him
right in the chin,

538
00:18:38,833 --> 00:18:41,233
and that's how I got thrown off
the set of "La Bamba."

539
00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:42,500
There you are!

540
00:18:42,533 --> 00:18:45,533
I've been looking
for you everywhere.

541
00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:46,533
Okay, hi.

542
00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:50,200
I was hanging out
with Florence.

543
00:18:50,233 --> 00:18:52,333
I see.

544
00:18:52,367 --> 00:18:57,800
Is there anything
you'd like to say to me?

545
00:18:57,833 --> 00:18:59,500
No.

546
00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:03,833
Okay.
Um, fine.

547
00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:06,167
Uh, I think,
you know,

548
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,667
that we might kind of be
into each other,

549
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,800
but, uh,
I'm not really sure

550
00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:12,333
'cause we haven't even really
talked about it.

551
00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:14,000
Okay, dude.

552
00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:16,500
Do not do this,
all right?

553
00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:19,500
First you're gonna hook up,
then you're gonna break up,

554
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,167
and then you're gonna be
stuck together

555
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,633
here on the island.

556
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:25,700
Well...
that's what she said.

557
00:19:25,733 --> 00:19:27,133
I don't get it.

558
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,033
Get what?

559
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:31,633
"That's what she said"? How's
that a "That's what she said"?

560
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:33,300
No, that's literally
what she said.

561
00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:35,733
Okay, I don't think you
understand how the joke works.

562
00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:38,067
No, I'm not doing the joke.
I'm telling you what she told
me. That's what she said.

563
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:39,367
Yeah, but usually,
you have to do it

564
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,867
in, like, a reference
to a sexual thing,

565
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:42,467
like,
"That's what she said."
I understand.

566
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,167
I understand
the joke.
Todd: Guys! Guys!

567
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,967
They're gonna kill us!
The pirates --
they're gonna kill us!

568
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,733
Todd: We got to get our
shit! We got to get our shit,
we got to get out of here!

569
00:19:48,767 --> 00:19:50,900
Whoa whoa whoa, wait! Slow down.
What is happening?

570
00:19:50,933 --> 00:19:52,300
The pirates --

571
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:54,033
they're gonna harvest our organs
and sell them.

572
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:55,367
Man:
Sure they are.
What?

573
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,000
Wait, how did you guys
find this out?

574
00:19:57,033 --> 00:19:58,200
Because we just had --

575
00:19:58,233 --> 00:20:00,200
Never mind!
It's not important.

576
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:01,633
Guys! Guys!

577
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,500
The pirates --
they're gonna kill us!

578
00:20:04,533 --> 00:20:06,833
We know, Steve.
Todd and Jess just told us.

579
00:20:06,867 --> 00:20:08,700
[ Sobbing ]
Oh.

580
00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:10,167
[ Sobbing continues ]

581
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,633
Steve, man.

582
00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:13,867
If it means
that much to you,

583
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,667
you can
come back in.

584
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:18,000
We'll pretend
we didn't know.

585
00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:19,367
It's not that!

586
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:23,200
I thought The Barracuda
was a good person.

587
00:20:23,233 --> 00:20:26,300
I've been
sleeping with a monster!

588
00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:27,867
[ Gasps ] What?

589
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:29,533
The Barracuda?
What?

590
00:20:29,567 --> 00:20:31,667
I couldn't say anything!
She was gonna kill me!

591
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,367
Steve --
this Steve --

592
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,533
has been banging
The Barracuda!

593
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,533
How?!

594
00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:38,367
He's lying. Is he lying?
He's lying.

595
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,833
Yeah,
he's got to be lying.
Karen: Hey!

596
00:20:39,867 --> 00:20:42,700
There are more important issues
at hand here!

597
00:20:42,733 --> 00:20:44,700
Like the fact
that our kidneys

598
00:20:44,733 --> 00:20:47,367
are about to be
ripped out of our asses!

599
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,700
Guys, what are
we gonna do?

600
00:20:48,733 --> 00:20:53,000
I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.

601
00:20:53,033 --> 00:20:55,000
We're all gonna die!

602
00:20:55,033 --> 00:20:58,700
[ Screaming ]