1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:02,600 [Rider] Make it a big one, come on! 2 00:00:04,533 --> 00:00:06,167 The earl likes his athletes. 3 00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:08,233 I've only just started Mr. Jarvis. 4 00:00:08,333 --> 00:00:10,567 I am hardworking and ambitious. 5 00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:13,467 George Cosmo, your servant. 6 00:00:13,567 --> 00:00:15,333 Wasting your time with her, 7 00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,600 she's too good for you. 8 00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:20,167 The Coliseum, by a local artist. 9 00:00:20,267 --> 00:00:21,600 I am gonna be under-butler, 10 00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:23,933 you've lost mate, shame. 11 00:00:24,033 --> 00:00:24,800 [George winces] 12 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,400 You, no pay for a month, 13 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:27,567 you, ditto. 14 00:00:28,467 --> 00:00:29,900 Not under-butler after all? 15 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,967 I'll get over it. 16 00:00:31,067 --> 00:00:32,633 You'll have to learn to behave yourself then. 17 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,700 I'll be as good as gold from now on, I promise. 18 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,200 [upbeat fiddle music] 19 00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:40,800 [George huffs] 20 00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:44,067 [upbeat fiddle music] 21 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:58,833 But no, no, 22 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:01,567 please, no more battle honours, 23 00:01:02,533 --> 00:01:05,967 it was merely 22 bloodthirsty savages. 24 00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:10,667 Ha, 47 bloodthirsty savages. 25 00:01:12,967 --> 00:01:14,367 Is there a problem Cosmo? 26 00:01:18,267 --> 00:01:19,067 Mr. Cosmo? 27 00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:22,267 [upbeat fiddle music] 28 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,333 I am no hero, I'm just an ordinary- 29 00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:31,933 [Mr. Jarvis] Cosmo, what's going on? 30 00:01:32,067 --> 00:01:32,967 Just coming sir. 31 00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:38,633 All done Mr. Cosmo? 32 00:01:38,733 --> 00:01:40,300 Catching the breeze nicely sir, 33 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,600 strings are all knotted. 34 00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:42,800 Good lad, 35 00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:45,700 first thing he'll look for when he comes up that drive. 36 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,667 Is that the best jacket you've got? 37 00:01:47,767 --> 00:01:50,100 Mrs. Ryan said if I pass my probation. 38 00:01:51,867 --> 00:01:54,167 We'll see after this visit then, shall we? 39 00:01:54,267 --> 00:01:57,267 We've got a brand new livery just waiting for a new owner. 40 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,200 Thank you sir. 41 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,200 You tell the others, one minute. 42 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,567 Go on. 43 00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:04,600 And then all hell breaks loose. 44 00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:07,167 [William] Are you with us Fred? 45 00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:08,233 I don't know were I am. 46 00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:09,633 God, I love the hunting season. 47 00:02:09,733 --> 00:02:11,833 And the Francombes make best tippers going. 48 00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:14,067 Make yourself noticed and earn yourself a packet. 49 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,067 And the Francombe girls, 50 00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:16,533 they like a big, strong lad at the door, 51 00:02:16,633 --> 00:02:17,567 if you know what I mean. 52 00:02:17,667 --> 00:02:19,733 They like 'em fair mate, so that rules you out. 53 00:02:19,833 --> 00:02:22,533 [they laugh] 54 00:02:22,633 --> 00:02:25,067 There's a maid, at Crown House, 55 00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:26,200 pulls her skirt over 56 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:28,767 so she's got a whole ruffle of petticoats showing. 57 00:02:28,867 --> 00:02:30,300 And she crosses her legs. 58 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,767 She does, seen her. 59 00:02:31,867 --> 00:02:34,733 She's no better than she should be, that one. 60 00:02:34,833 --> 00:02:35,967 Neaten yourself up Grace, 61 00:02:36,067 --> 00:02:37,433 anything a bit out of place today 62 00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:39,333 and they'll send you packing. 63 00:02:39,433 --> 00:02:40,400 Not you an all? 64 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,400 I've just had Mr. Jarvis clucking like an old hen. 65 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:43,400 Given the choice 66 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,900 between Beelzebub visiting and Mr. Prothero? 67 00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:45,767 Ah, Prothero? 68 00:02:45,867 --> 00:02:47,100 He's only a butler though, in't he? 69 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,367 Arch-enemies, always have been. 70 00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:51,267 [George] Mr. Jarvis said I'm past the probation. 71 00:02:51,367 --> 00:02:53,300 Ah, good for you, 72 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,700 if you did. 73 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,533 He did, as good as Grace. 74 00:02:56,633 --> 00:02:58,100 Ah, as good as. 75 00:02:59,067 --> 00:03:01,167 That's you all over, innit, 76 00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:03,900 can't open your trap without spinning a yarn. 77 00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:10,600 [upbeat Baroque music] 78 00:03:48,667 --> 00:03:50,233 It's an informal dinner 79 00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:51,767 for the master's oldest friends, 80 00:03:51,867 --> 00:03:54,867 so there will only be a few visiting servants. 81 00:03:54,967 --> 00:03:58,400 We all know they'll be hoping to pick up tit-bits of scandal 82 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:01,200 to brighten up their dull lives, don't we, 83 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:02,667 so we will have no gossip, 84 00:04:03,667 --> 00:04:05,833 no tittle-tattle about the family, 85 00:04:05,933 --> 00:04:06,767 just as we will have 86 00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:10,133 no sloppiness, backchat, or drunkenness. 87 00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:13,400 [upbeat fiddle music] 88 00:04:16,433 --> 00:04:17,300 [Flora] Susan? 89 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:19,633 My room please. 90 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:21,400 Yes Mrs. Ryan. 91 00:04:23,133 --> 00:04:28,167 Their butler is of course my old friend Mr. Prothero. 92 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,067 [the servants groan] 93 00:04:30,133 --> 00:04:31,233 We will show him, will he not, 94 00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:32,467 Grace? 95 00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:34,600 [Mr. Jarvis] how a household of quality conducts itself. 96 00:04:35,867 --> 00:04:37,667 His poor wretches will leave here 97 00:04:37,767 --> 00:04:40,700 wishing to God they were Taplow staff. 98 00:04:41,967 --> 00:04:44,300 [he clicks] 99 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:50,633 Right gentlemen, front door duty, 100 00:04:50,733 --> 00:04:52,567 Frederick, that's you. 101 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:53,900 Try and look awake, son. 102 00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:56,900 The rota for valeting the weekend's guests 103 00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:58,433 is up in the footman's room. 104 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,233 Off the top of my head, 105 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:01,500 Frederick, you have the old lord. 106 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,367 Now the first shoot's on Monday, 107 00:05:03,467 --> 00:05:05,333 make sure that your gentlemen have... 108 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,067 Is there a problem Mr. Forrest? 109 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,967 Maybe you think you should be standing where I'm standing, 110 00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:16,633 saying what I'm saying? 111 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,533 No, no, no, I'd never but that bonkers 112 00:05:20,433 --> 00:05:22,467 to imagine that I should be in your place. 113 00:05:22,567 --> 00:05:23,267 [he laughs] 114 00:05:23,367 --> 00:05:24,900 Would you not? 115 00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:27,233 Well look on this as a warning, 116 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:28,333 [William groans] 117 00:05:28,433 --> 00:05:31,400 a warning that your obvious contempt and dislike 118 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:35,633 has returned in full, and then doubled. 119 00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:39,067 And just for good measure, Mr. Forrest, 120 00:05:39,167 --> 00:05:41,133 you will assist the earl as usual. 121 00:05:41,233 --> 00:05:43,500 Frederick will look after the old lord, 122 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,433 and therefore Frederick will get all the tips. 123 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:50,700 You heard Mr. Jarvis, now jump to it. 124 00:05:58,067 --> 00:06:00,667 That's just earned you a job you really won't like. 125 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:03,867 Get your walking shoes on. 126 00:06:03,967 --> 00:06:05,067 You're only the sodding under-butler, 127 00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:07,067 where do you get off talking to me like that? 128 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,167 A few errands. 129 00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:10,400 I'm waiting on his lordship. 130 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,900 You're waiting on me boy. 131 00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:15,400 Joseph, get yourself up to that breakfast room. 132 00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:22,267 Now, Miss Harriet's lace, the fishmonger, and the saddler, 133 00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:25,767 or would you rather argue your cause with Mr. Jarvis? 134 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:34,767 Well? 135 00:06:34,867 --> 00:06:37,400 [tense music] 136 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,167 What's wrong? 137 00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:44,367 Nothing, everything's just lovely, 138 00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:47,133 bloody Fred'll end up with five bob for doing sod all, 139 00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:49,200 and I've gotta walk bloody miles. 140 00:06:50,433 --> 00:06:51,600 Your Frank, Grace- 141 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:53,633 He's not my Frank anymore. 142 00:06:54,967 --> 00:06:55,700 Come on. 143 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:56,667 Do you mind Will? 144 00:06:57,833 --> 00:06:58,700 Will? 145 00:06:59,633 --> 00:07:02,800 I did a few trips to town for him, to the fish man. 146 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,233 I know there was a scam going on. 147 00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,933 Ask someone else, I'm busy. 148 00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:07,133 Come on Grace, be a mate. 149 00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:09,133 No, I've gotta get Lord Harry's breakfast. 150 00:07:09,233 --> 00:07:10,067 Will! 151 00:07:10,167 --> 00:07:12,200 What was he up to with the fishmonger? 152 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:14,800 Chef always orders the best, 153 00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:16,933 but he don't know a piece of cod from a Southsea kipper. 154 00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:18,267 [William] Right? 155 00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:20,567 So Frank told him what he wanted to hear. 156 00:07:20,667 --> 00:07:21,933 [Harry moans] 157 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,100 It's all right Harry. 158 00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:27,700 He likes expensive stuff, does chef, 159 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,867 but the fishmonger can't always come up with the goods. 160 00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:35,500 God Will, how thick are you? 161 00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:39,067 I've left his porridge on the stove Will, let us go. 162 00:07:42,867 --> 00:07:43,800 Esther? 163 00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:45,333 Are you listening at doors again? 164 00:07:45,433 --> 00:07:46,200 I'm walking past, 165 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,067 that is allowed, is it? 166 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,300 [crockery clatters] 167 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,533 Shit! 168 00:07:51,633 --> 00:07:53,700 [Grace] Harry, it's all right. 169 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:54,667 Oh no. 170 00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:57,867 Look at it, look what you made me do, 171 00:07:57,967 --> 00:07:58,867 they're gonna kill me. 172 00:07:58,967 --> 00:08:00,633 [Grace] Just be quiet, it's not all broken. 173 00:08:00,733 --> 00:08:02,433 [Esther] Oh no, oh no. 174 00:08:02,533 --> 00:08:05,167 Are we running a beer garden? 175 00:08:09,167 --> 00:08:11,333 Hell's teeth and buckets o' blood lassie, 176 00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:12,433 what have you done? 177 00:08:13,567 --> 00:08:15,267 She didn't mean to, 178 00:08:15,367 --> 00:08:18,067 she was just rushing to Harry and she bumped into me. 179 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:19,867 It's all right Grace, 180 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,800 I'll tell Mrs. Ryan it was just an accident. 181 00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:27,100 You, follow me. 182 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:30,133 [melancholy music] 183 00:08:34,467 --> 00:08:35,733 The Derby service? 184 00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:37,800 Oh Grace, not the Derby service. 185 00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,600 I was nowhere near her Mrs. Ryan. 186 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:41,333 You were at her feet miss. 187 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,400 When she dropped everything, I was... 188 00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:46,700 Esther turned round and- 189 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,067 Have you any idea 190 00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:51,233 how much a single plate from that service is worth? 191 00:08:51,333 --> 00:08:53,833 We'll have a plate a week off you, starting now. 192 00:08:59,133 --> 00:09:00,233 Make a list, Grace, 193 00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:02,200 and resign yourself to a very small income 194 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,700 for the foreseeable future. 195 00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:07,100 Miss. 196 00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:13,600 Chef's determined to pay to whack, so let him. 197 00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:15,867 He pays through the nose, and that makes him happy, 198 00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:17,533 we help Llewelyn to fool him with the cheap stuff, 199 00:09:17,633 --> 00:09:18,467 that makes us happy, yeah? 200 00:09:18,567 --> 00:09:19,733 But Andrew sent you? 201 00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:21,833 Yeah, but what the eye doesn't see. 202 00:09:21,933 --> 00:09:24,267 Go to Llewelyn's and tell him it goes on, 203 00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:26,133 new faces, same old deal. 204 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,067 We'll even get the stuff past chef. 205 00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:29,567 Why can't you go? 206 00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:31,667 I don't walk to the village. 207 00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:33,367 Anyway, I made a promise. 208 00:09:33,467 --> 00:09:34,933 [George] What, Esther Spicer? 209 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:36,567 [Fred] Excuse me. 210 00:09:36,667 --> 00:09:38,433 I'm like a bloody threat. 211 00:09:38,533 --> 00:09:39,833 You know she landed Grace May right in the shit? 212 00:09:39,933 --> 00:09:41,433 You wanna stay out of the girls' stuff George, 213 00:09:41,533 --> 00:09:43,367 it's all teeth, and hair, and hair-pulling. 214 00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:45,833 Look, we could be onto a good thing here, 215 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,433 think of it, every week. 216 00:09:47,533 --> 00:09:48,267 Until we get caught. 217 00:09:48,367 --> 00:09:49,433 How? 218 00:09:49,533 --> 00:09:50,533 Would you know the difference 219 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,900 between someone from Scotland and one from Wales? 220 00:09:53,067 --> 00:09:53,933 The accent. 221 00:09:54,067 --> 00:09:55,767 You could do with the extra cash couldn't you? 222 00:09:55,867 --> 00:09:56,733 Yeah. 223 00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:01,867 I was nowhere near her when she dropped that tray. 224 00:10:01,967 --> 00:10:03,567 A plate a week? 225 00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:05,233 By the time I've sent my mum her share 226 00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:06,767 and paid Mrs. Ryan, 227 00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,067 I'm gonna be working for bloody nothing. 228 00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:10,267 Well we counted the pieces, 229 00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:11,133 three cups, two saucers- 230 00:10:11,233 --> 00:10:13,600 Yeah, for months and months. 231 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:14,933 Oh, William Forrest. 232 00:10:15,033 --> 00:10:16,300 And a gravy dish. 233 00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:19,767 He must have seen I was nowhere near her. 234 00:10:19,867 --> 00:10:21,300 Why didn't he say anything? 235 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,767 Well he wouldn't, would he, 236 00:10:22,867 --> 00:10:24,867 footmen being liars from birth. 237 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,533 Not all of us love. 238 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,233 Maybe he was looking the other way. 239 00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:31,700 No, he saw, 240 00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:33,767 he just wouldn't say anything, would he, 241 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,400 and we all know why. 242 00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:38,867 I just hope she gives him the clap. 243 00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:43,967 Will! 244 00:10:44,067 --> 00:10:47,700 [William] Don't start buggering about. 245 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,500 That tray. 246 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,533 [William] You do pick your moment 247 00:10:51,633 --> 00:10:55,067 You're not gonna say anything, are you? 248 00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:01,767 [William groans] 249 00:11:01,867 --> 00:11:02,700 Are you? 250 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,933 [William groans] 251 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:11,067 * I have kissed them all and found them fine * 252 00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:13,633 * Dora, Jane, and Prue, 253 00:11:13,733 --> 00:11:16,933 * But Gracie, how my heart doth pine * 254 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:20,800 * For a little taste of you. 255 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:28,233 Lady Francombe must have three tepid baths a day, 256 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,800 Lord Francombe insists that all the family, 257 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,067 including all the servants, 258 00:11:34,133 --> 00:11:36,167 have a glass of egg flip every morning. 259 00:11:36,267 --> 00:11:38,867 No, I will not make that slop. 260 00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:41,367 Prothero makes it, at his master's insistence. 261 00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:44,200 Ah, it gets better, 262 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:47,267 their dog requires five walks a day, 263 00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:50,467 not exceeding a mile, and not less than 20 minutes in time. 264 00:11:50,567 --> 00:11:52,300 My men love nothing more than mincing along 265 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,767 with a bloody lap dog. 266 00:11:53,867 --> 00:11:55,867 Oh I don't know about that, 267 00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:58,067 there is a few footmen who might enjoy it. 268 00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:05,367 And finally, the senior servants will be arriving 269 00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:08,667 sometime this morning from London. 270 00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:12,067 [upbeat jocular music] 271 00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:26,533 Very small trees: new money. 272 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:30,333 I'm sure they've got nothing we haven't got, Mr. Prothero. 273 00:12:30,433 --> 00:12:32,833 Well he's an arrogant man, Mrs. Fraser. 274 00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:34,067 I believe so. 275 00:12:35,467 --> 00:12:37,067 It's not something I'm proud of, 276 00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:41,400 and certainly not something I want bandied about, 277 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:42,367 I would never. 278 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,733 I applied for the position at Taplows. 279 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,200 He, I'm sure, 280 00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:51,267 knows it, revels in it. 281 00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:55,067 Every time I think I've made myself his equal, 282 00:12:56,533 --> 00:12:58,133 he proves me wrong. 283 00:12:58,233 --> 00:13:01,567 [upbeat jocular music] 284 00:13:09,067 --> 00:13:11,833 You know the thing he can't stand? 285 00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:16,633 Joviality. 286 00:13:16,733 --> 00:13:20,067 [upbeat jocular music] 287 00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:28,167 Mrs. Ryan. 288 00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:29,333 Mr. Prothero. 289 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:30,300 Walter. 290 00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:33,533 Jarvis. 291 00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:36,467 Of course, Jarvis. 292 00:13:38,833 --> 00:13:41,500 I believe the slaves in the Americas do the same, 293 00:13:42,333 --> 00:13:44,400 change their names to please their masters. 294 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,333 Agnes, very good to see you. 295 00:13:46,433 --> 00:13:47,800 My other men are just behind us. 296 00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:48,967 What other men? 297 00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:50,567 Your letter said there would be you and Mrs. Fraser. 298 00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:53,300 However all are welcome, there's plenty of room. 299 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,567 Gentlemen? 300 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,533 Agnes. 301 00:13:58,967 --> 00:14:03,400 Well Mr. Jarvis, where we can put our provisions? 302 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,767 [upbeat jocular music] 303 00:14:18,467 --> 00:14:19,667 I know the skirt's a bit tatty, 304 00:14:19,767 --> 00:14:22,267 but this is real silver. 305 00:14:22,367 --> 00:14:23,200 I'll give you thruppence. 306 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,533 Come on, I'm not giving it away, 307 00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:26,833 I'm in debt up to here. 308 00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,067 What about that? 309 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:30,733 No use to you no more, 310 00:14:30,833 --> 00:14:31,867 only Peggy's getting wed next month 311 00:14:31,967 --> 00:14:34,267 and they haven't got one. 312 00:14:34,367 --> 00:14:35,833 It's not for sale. 313 00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:37,933 Thought you was glad to get shot of him? 314 00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:39,067 It's my mother's. 315 00:14:41,433 --> 00:14:43,733 Here Peggy, fancy her shoes? 316 00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:45,067 They're the only ones I got. 317 00:14:45,133 --> 00:14:47,400 We'll take them off you, a shilling. 318 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:50,700 Can't pledge her troth with her bunions on show now can she? 319 00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:55,133 How about a pound of flesh? 320 00:14:56,733 --> 00:14:58,133 A pint of blood? 321 00:14:59,867 --> 00:15:01,600 I could kill Esther. 322 00:15:02,633 --> 00:15:04,667 [carpet beater bangs] 323 00:15:04,767 --> 00:15:07,433 [jocular music] 324 00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:10,733 [George] All right Tommy? 325 00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:15,100 Are you sure chef won't notice? 326 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,433 That foreign get doesn't know the front end of an haddock 327 00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:19,733 from the arse-hole of a whelk. 328 00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:20,733 It's a good job 329 00:15:20,833 --> 00:15:22,833 he's got us looking after it then, isn't it? 330 00:15:22,933 --> 00:15:25,167 So it'll be you and William Forrest from now on, will it? 331 00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:27,067 Every week, regular as clockwork, 332 00:15:28,133 --> 00:15:31,200 making sure you give us the best that you've got. 333 00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,800 Good job I'm not a man to take offence, 334 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,900 as if I palm off any old rubbish on his lordship. 335 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:38,767 As if you would. 336 00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:41,967 Walk on. 337 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:45,400 [upbeat jocular music] 338 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:52,733 But we have eggs. 339 00:15:52,833 --> 00:15:55,233 And the largest dairy in the county, of course. 340 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:57,900 It's for his lordship's egg flip. 341 00:15:59,133 --> 00:16:02,100 He insists on our own raised eggs, our own churned cream, 342 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,567 and if we could make our own brandy. 343 00:16:04,667 --> 00:16:06,667 Well every family has its eccentrics. 344 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:13,567 Girl is it? 345 00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:15,400 I'll show 'em girl. 346 00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:16,467 [George] Hello Fred. 347 00:16:16,567 --> 00:16:18,667 I'll spank him like his mother, girl? 348 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:20,233 He's here, I've told him to wait 349 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,433 'til you give him the nod. 350 00:16:21,533 --> 00:16:22,400 Good stuff is it? 351 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:24,067 Well it pongs a bit, but it's very cheap. 352 00:16:24,167 --> 00:16:26,133 Lovely, I've got the lads already lined up. 353 00:16:26,233 --> 00:16:27,067 They're gonna have to make some noise 354 00:16:27,133 --> 00:16:28,233 to get chef out of his pantry though. 355 00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:29,267 Oh they will, 356 00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:29,900 I've told Fred that Paul called him a big girl, 357 00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:31,067 and I told Paul the same. 358 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:32,467 Right, I'll start 'em off. 359 00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:33,567 Okay, I'll go and give Llewelyn the nod. 360 00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:35,200 You've got about a minute to get the whole lot in. 361 00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:38,333 George, don't worry about it eh, 362 00:16:38,433 --> 00:16:40,233 don't worry about it. 363 00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:42,067 Right. 364 00:16:43,633 --> 00:16:46,067 [bell rings] 365 00:16:49,867 --> 00:16:51,500 [Harry moans] 366 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:52,433 Do you say your prayers 367 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:55,633 in the middle of a thoroughfare madam? 368 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,600 What the hell are they supposed to be? 369 00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:00,200 I'm sorry Mr. Jarvis. 370 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:01,567 Change them, now. 371 00:17:02,533 --> 00:17:03,733 I haven't got any others sir. 372 00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:06,400 Then you'd better find some new shoes madam, 373 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:07,800 quick as you like. 374 00:17:08,967 --> 00:17:11,667 You wouldn't last five minutes in my household, 375 00:17:11,767 --> 00:17:14,067 there are whores who are better shod than you. 376 00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:21,700 Don't worry about him, 377 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,600 I'll buy you a new pair of shoes. 378 00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:24,933 Of course you will. 379 00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:26,500 You just wait 'til the tips start rolling in, 380 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,567 I'll buy you shoes for upstairs, shoes for down, 381 00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:30,167 and boots for Sunday. 382 00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:32,400 Now stop flicking about, 383 00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,933 Llewelyn's at the back door. 384 00:17:38,133 --> 00:17:39,700 Ready lads, ready? 385 00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:42,233 Wait for the signal. 386 00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:43,200 Eh, eh. 387 00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:46,067 Wait, steady Paul. 388 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:47,867 Now. 389 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:49,800 Go on Fred. 390 00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:53,767 [upbeat playful music] 391 00:17:53,867 --> 00:17:54,767 What? 392 00:17:56,567 --> 00:18:00,233 Just a bit of a lark, our outfit against his. 393 00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:03,633 [upbeat playful music] 394 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,500 [Fred] Move. 395 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,300 Buggers 396 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:16,367 [the servants cheer and shout] 397 00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:21,867 [Agnes] Well done Paul, show 'em how to do it. 398 00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:23,900 [Servant] Who's that? 399 00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:27,933 Ah, magnificent pomegranates, 400 00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:30,467 my compliments to the chief gardener, beautiful. 401 00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:32,667 Whoops. 402 00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:34,400 Good quality? 403 00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:35,833 As if I give Taplows anything less. 404 00:18:35,933 --> 00:18:36,633 [Fred] Mind out, mind out, 405 00:18:36,733 --> 00:18:37,600 quick, quick, quick. 406 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,767 [Felix] What is going on out there? 407 00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:40,600 Footman? 408 00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:41,933 [Felix speaks in German] 409 00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:43,867 [pot clatters] 410 00:18:43,967 --> 00:18:45,967 [Felix speaks in German] 411 00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:47,767 [Fred] Sorry chef. 412 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,100 [knife twangs] 413 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,733 [water splashes] 414 00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:57,233 [Felix] You English hooligans. 415 00:18:57,333 --> 00:19:00,967 Come near my kitchen again, the next time I'll have you. 416 00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:02,733 [Fred] All right you fat boy. 417 00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:04,367 [water splashes] 418 00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:06,333 This is a madhouse. 419 00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,133 And I, Felix Kraus, 420 00:19:10,267 --> 00:19:13,633 should waste his life in such a place? 421 00:19:17,067 --> 00:19:18,567 Apples, excellent. 422 00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:24,767 Can't pull the wool over his eyes, eh? 423 00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:28,633 [jaunty music] 424 00:19:31,767 --> 00:19:34,267 [Fred shouts] 425 00:19:35,667 --> 00:19:37,333 Thank you very much gentlemen, 426 00:19:37,433 --> 00:19:38,733 I'll get you a beer later. 427 00:19:40,267 --> 00:19:41,200 Who won? 428 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:43,067 Who gives a stuff, excuse me, 429 00:19:43,133 --> 00:19:45,367 a little businesses I need to attend to. 430 00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:50,633 Taplows, every last one of you, mad as hatters. 431 00:19:50,733 --> 00:19:53,100 [they pant] 432 00:20:07,633 --> 00:20:10,600 [mysterious music] 433 00:20:13,367 --> 00:20:14,500 Years I've been living here, 434 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,300 watching Frank cashing in, 435 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,333 living in a honeypot dying of hunger. 436 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,433 Five bob each mate. 437 00:20:21,533 --> 00:20:23,433 A bit more than that when his accounts are paid, 438 00:20:23,533 --> 00:20:24,967 not a bad day's work is it? 439 00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:25,867 What are you gonna do with yours? 440 00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:27,400 Wine, women, and song, 441 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:28,400 and I'll waste the rest. 442 00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:30,000 What about you? 443 00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,100 A woman, just the one, 444 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,900 no wine, and I'll sing my own songs. 445 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,500 You still after little Gracie? 446 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,667 She won't have you, she won't, 447 00:20:36,767 --> 00:20:39,333 how many times has she got to tell you no? 448 00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:40,200 The more she says no, 449 00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:42,333 the more she means, "In a bit." 450 00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:44,667 [William laughs] 451 00:20:44,767 --> 00:20:47,367 [jaunty music] 452 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,133 [Lady] I knew we should have left earlier. 453 00:21:06,233 --> 00:21:09,733 All I want is gallons and gallons of hot water. 454 00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:12,100 Miss Francombe, Miss Victoria, 455 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,433 tea is served in your room, 456 00:21:13,533 --> 00:21:15,733 I'll send your maids up as soon as possible. 457 00:21:15,833 --> 00:21:16,567 I'm sure you'll remember the way, 458 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:18,300 but just in case. 459 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:20,600 I'm desperate to get these boots off. 460 00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:22,133 [Lady] Me too. 461 00:21:22,233 --> 00:21:24,867 [jaunty music] 462 00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:30,867 We can never trust you to behave properly, 463 00:21:30,967 --> 00:21:32,267 can we Mr. Forrest? 464 00:21:36,467 --> 00:21:37,200 Take your break. 465 00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:39,100 I've just had late dinner. 466 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,600 Then you can follow it up with an early supper. 467 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:44,833 You're off duty 'til 10, graveyard shift. 468 00:21:44,933 --> 00:21:47,500 But that's down to the most junior footman. 469 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,833 Oh, we finally get the message. 470 00:21:54,767 --> 00:21:58,067 Any chance to get noticed, earn a few tips. 471 00:22:00,567 --> 00:22:02,467 Well you, mate, 472 00:22:02,567 --> 00:22:04,233 are gonna be safely out of sight, 473 00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:06,200 now bugger off. 474 00:22:12,933 --> 00:22:15,800 Oh Mr. Forrest, before you take your break, 475 00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:16,767 Betsy? 476 00:22:19,233 --> 00:22:22,100 You can take Miss Catherine's puppy dog here for walkies. 477 00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:29,400 [bell rings] 478 00:22:34,633 --> 00:22:37,433 Mr. Prothero, for all his airs and graces, 479 00:22:37,533 --> 00:22:40,333 has not thought to send us sufficient lady's maids. 480 00:22:40,433 --> 00:22:44,467 So Charlotte, you can maid Mrs. Rawlings. 481 00:22:44,567 --> 00:22:46,300 You don't need to worry too much about her, 482 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,533 she's only a glorified grocer's daughter. 483 00:22:49,333 --> 00:22:51,833 Lucy, you can look after the two younger girls. 484 00:22:52,933 --> 00:22:54,133 I looked after the Francombe girls 485 00:22:54,233 --> 00:22:55,833 last Christmas, Mrs. Ryan. 486 00:22:55,933 --> 00:22:57,700 Charlotte, I'm not stupid, 487 00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,900 I know the two young ladies are very easily pleased 488 00:23:00,067 --> 00:23:01,800 and leave an extravagant tip. 489 00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:04,767 Lucy is a lady's maid, they'll expect no less. 490 00:23:04,867 --> 00:23:06,600 Grace, did you want me? 491 00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:09,400 Is there anything I can do when Lord Harry's resting, 492 00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:11,267 lady's maiding or anything? 493 00:23:11,367 --> 00:23:13,800 Your job is to keep Lord Harry away from the guests, 494 00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:14,700 and with shoes like that, 495 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,067 you'd do well to keep yourself hidden. 496 00:23:17,167 --> 00:23:18,067 Off you go now. 497 00:23:22,433 --> 00:23:27,467 * Fart on my pillow, a whore in the night. * 498 00:23:27,567 --> 00:23:28,333 If you sweep up behind you, 499 00:23:28,433 --> 00:23:30,067 it looks like autumn gales in here. 500 00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:34,067 * My early bird wearily 501 00:23:34,167 --> 00:23:36,767 * Her thighs glimmer white 502 00:23:36,867 --> 00:23:38,333 The tall one, 503 00:23:38,433 --> 00:23:39,633 19 years old. 504 00:23:41,067 --> 00:23:42,767 A lady can earn proper, steward 505 00:23:44,567 --> 00:23:45,367 Are you joking? 506 00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:46,200 Mm-hmm 507 00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:47,433 Never. 508 00:23:47,533 --> 00:23:50,100 Well her and me, now that I could imagine. 509 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:57,133 I'm sure you think it's very small of me, mean-minded. 510 00:23:58,133 --> 00:23:59,200 I think he's going out of his way 511 00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:00,767 to insult and aggravate you. 512 00:24:00,867 --> 00:24:04,167 He is, I know he is. 513 00:24:04,267 --> 00:24:05,767 The man is a clown, 514 00:24:07,067 --> 00:24:09,733 boasting about silly egg-custardy stuff, 515 00:24:09,833 --> 00:24:12,067 swaggering and preening. 516 00:24:12,167 --> 00:24:15,400 [Mr. Jarvis] He is a ridiculous figure, isn't he? 517 00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:17,167 He is. 518 00:24:17,267 --> 00:24:18,900 I mean, my footmen treat him with contempt? 519 00:24:19,067 --> 00:24:20,300 They certainly do. 520 00:24:26,567 --> 00:24:27,633 Mr. Matkin? 521 00:24:33,267 --> 00:24:34,167 Thank you. 522 00:24:37,067 --> 00:24:38,967 Bloody Prothero. 523 00:24:39,067 --> 00:24:42,567 It's not as if you've got any experience as a lady's maid. 524 00:24:42,667 --> 00:24:44,933 There's only one way to get it. 525 00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:46,333 I'm not being funny, 526 00:24:46,433 --> 00:24:47,967 but there's things you have to learn, 527 00:24:48,067 --> 00:24:49,733 you can't just walk into the job. 528 00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:51,067 It's really difficult is it, 529 00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:52,800 curtsying and smiling at the same time? 530 00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:55,367 If she can look after Lord Harry and that. 531 00:24:55,467 --> 00:24:56,433 Still a bit more complicated 532 00:24:56,533 --> 00:24:59,067 than wiping their shitty arses, 533 00:24:59,133 --> 00:25:01,067 and if you haven't had the training. 534 00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:04,433 [Grace And Susan] Ooh well if you don't have the training. 535 00:25:05,833 --> 00:25:06,567 Grace? 536 00:25:06,667 --> 00:25:09,400 [playful music] 537 00:25:16,767 --> 00:25:17,667 I got it. 538 00:25:21,567 --> 00:25:22,467 For you. 539 00:25:23,767 --> 00:25:25,700 You got some tips early did you? 540 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,267 Yeah, they like the look of me. 541 00:25:28,367 --> 00:25:31,500 Liar, liar, your pants are on fire. 542 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,467 I wanna keep this job. 543 00:25:33,567 --> 00:25:35,500 I'm already in trouble and in hock. 544 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,933 That's why I'm offering it Grace. 545 00:25:38,067 --> 00:25:38,767 When you get caught 546 00:25:38,867 --> 00:25:40,367 you'll pull me down with you. 547 00:25:41,167 --> 00:25:43,067 No one is gonna get caught. 548 00:25:44,067 --> 00:25:45,800 And anyway, I haven't done anything wrong. 549 00:25:47,467 --> 00:25:50,067 I'm broke George, not stupid. 550 00:25:51,067 --> 00:25:54,533 [rousing dramatic music] 551 00:26:11,667 --> 00:26:12,767 [Joseph] All right William, 552 00:26:12,867 --> 00:26:15,567 having yourself a nice little walk there mate? 553 00:26:15,667 --> 00:26:18,367 [Joseph laughs] 554 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,333 [Fred] Ah lovely, mm. 555 00:26:24,067 --> 00:26:27,067 Fred, your turn with the four-legged shit machine, 556 00:26:27,167 --> 00:26:28,800 he likes his walks now and then. 557 00:26:29,900 --> 00:26:31,067 [Agnes] Do you mind? 558 00:26:31,100 --> 00:26:33,800 Not if you don't love. 559 00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,467 Gentlemen? 560 00:26:35,567 --> 00:26:37,667 A small gesture from the Francombes, 561 00:26:38,633 --> 00:26:40,867 a little something to warm the cockles, 562 00:26:40,967 --> 00:26:43,100 a lovely glass of egg flip. 563 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,967 Not for us poor Taplows people, Mr. Prothero? 564 00:26:45,067 --> 00:26:46,100 Well why ever not? 565 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,767 If you were my people you'd enjoy this every day. 566 00:26:48,867 --> 00:26:52,267 As served in Buck House only last month. 567 00:26:54,067 --> 00:26:56,567 I hope that we all know what we're expected to do tonight? 568 00:26:56,667 --> 00:27:00,767 Mr. Jarvis, a taste of sophistication. 569 00:27:03,333 --> 00:27:05,600 To old acquaintance, and to new. 570 00:27:08,133 --> 00:27:11,067 [Servants] To new acquaintances. 571 00:27:20,667 --> 00:27:22,600 The manners of pigs. 572 00:27:27,433 --> 00:27:29,167 Lady What's-her-face has been shouting for you, 573 00:27:29,267 --> 00:27:30,167 been at it hours. 574 00:27:34,133 --> 00:27:35,933 Bloody woman, needs a good sorting. 575 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,100 Hello. 576 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,567 Fruits of the estate, 577 00:27:42,567 --> 00:27:44,133 Turbot, sauce crevettes, 578 00:27:45,767 --> 00:27:48,400 casserole de fruits de mer, 579 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,733 fillet de boeuf pique, 580 00:27:50,833 --> 00:27:51,767 faisan roti, 581 00:27:51,867 --> 00:27:55,067 [sweet upbeat music] 582 00:28:01,967 --> 00:28:04,100 My girls are attending the young ladies, 583 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:07,600 Mrs. Rawlings was most appreciative. 584 00:28:07,700 --> 00:28:10,600 Everything as it should be. 585 00:28:10,700 --> 00:28:11,900 Tres bon. 586 00:28:12,067 --> 00:28:14,833 And Mr. Prothero is ill with disappointment. 587 00:28:16,567 --> 00:28:19,667 [sweet upbeat music] 588 00:28:29,467 --> 00:28:31,733 Can't stand 'em, slimy bloody things. 589 00:28:31,833 --> 00:28:34,567 All right by me, I'll have your share. 590 00:28:34,667 --> 00:28:38,067 Lady Francombe was sleeping you bastard. 591 00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:39,467 I only woke her up, didn't I. 592 00:28:39,567 --> 00:28:41,867 Well you wanna stop banging around then love, 593 00:28:41,967 --> 00:28:42,867 they don't like bad-tempered servants, 594 00:28:42,967 --> 00:28:44,700 the lords and ladies don't. 595 00:28:45,733 --> 00:28:48,900 [sweet upbeat music] 596 00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:57,633 You're not on 'til 10. 597 00:28:57,733 --> 00:29:00,400 I suddenly thought an extra pair of hands 598 00:29:00,500 --> 00:29:03,067 might stop Prothero sticking his oar in, 599 00:29:03,133 --> 00:29:04,700 so I approached Mr. Jarvis. 600 00:29:06,267 --> 00:29:07,667 He was very grateful. 601 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,200 Going well Mr. Adams? 602 00:29:16,100 --> 00:29:17,800 They all seem happy enough sir. 603 00:29:18,967 --> 00:29:19,833 Cheers. 604 00:29:25,667 --> 00:29:26,567 Shh, shh. 605 00:29:33,867 --> 00:29:35,433 You look lovely. 606 00:29:36,633 --> 00:29:37,900 Come here Paul. 607 00:29:40,067 --> 00:29:40,900 Oops. 608 00:29:43,567 --> 00:29:44,400 Nearly. 609 00:29:52,867 --> 00:29:54,067 [soup splashes] 610 00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:55,700 [William] Got you. 611 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,667 [Joseph] I'm sorry Mr. Prothero. 612 00:30:02,633 --> 00:30:04,433 [Andrew] Gentlemen. 613 00:30:08,767 --> 00:30:12,400 [industrious upbeat music] 614 00:30:22,900 --> 00:30:25,000 Oh hell's bloody bells. 615 00:30:28,333 --> 00:30:29,467 What is it? 616 00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:33,000 Consomme de fruits de mer miss, 617 00:30:33,100 --> 00:30:34,633 harvest of the sea, 618 00:30:34,733 --> 00:30:36,633 it'll make your blue eyes even bluer. 619 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,200 [jaunty upbeat music] 620 00:30:43,233 --> 00:30:45,633 [bell chimes] 621 00:30:45,733 --> 00:30:48,900 [jaunty upbeat music] 622 00:31:49,967 --> 00:31:52,833 [William retches] 623 00:31:56,700 --> 00:31:59,533 [door bangs] 624 00:31:59,633 --> 00:32:02,200 Are you with us Mr. Forrest? 625 00:32:02,300 --> 00:32:04,600 The gentlemen are at the port. 626 00:32:04,700 --> 00:32:06,967 No need to panic, Mr. Jarvis, 627 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:09,100 we'll take in the coffee. 628 00:32:09,933 --> 00:32:11,733 [William retches] 629 00:32:11,833 --> 00:32:13,300 Get your mouldering bones out of there, 630 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:14,800 the night isn't over yet. 631 00:32:14,900 --> 00:32:16,567 I'm sick sir. 632 00:32:16,667 --> 00:32:17,433 I'll sick you, 633 00:32:17,533 --> 00:32:19,267 I'll have your bollocks on a... 634 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:24,133 George, lad, perfect timing. 635 00:32:25,667 --> 00:32:27,667 Why don't you rest your feet Mr. Prothero, 636 00:32:27,767 --> 00:32:30,067 make yourself at home, 637 00:32:30,133 --> 00:32:31,833 we have everything under control. 638 00:32:43,067 --> 00:32:46,200 * Sosban fach yn berwi ar y tan * 639 00:32:46,300 --> 00:32:49,233 * Sosban fawr yn berwi ar y llawr * 640 00:32:49,333 --> 00:32:51,500 * A'r gath wedi 641 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:52,333 Fred! 642 00:32:52,433 --> 00:32:56,233 -Ah, end of a long day. -Tedious. 643 00:32:56,333 --> 00:33:00,100 [Guest] Well, not a great deal to be said. 644 00:33:03,433 --> 00:33:04,533 Good night then. 645 00:33:04,633 --> 00:33:06,800 -Good night. -Good night. 646 00:33:06,900 --> 00:33:09,467 [guest farts] 647 00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:13,367 [guest farts] 648 00:33:13,467 --> 00:33:16,167 [George laughs] 649 00:33:17,533 --> 00:33:19,067 [guest farts] 650 00:33:19,167 --> 00:33:21,867 [George laughs] 651 00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:31,800 Fred, I'm off. 652 00:33:39,300 --> 00:33:40,767 [Mr. Jarvis] Clockwork 653 00:33:40,867 --> 00:33:43,833 [Felix] I think we've shown Mr. Prothero 654 00:33:43,933 --> 00:33:44,800 a thing or two, 655 00:33:45,967 --> 00:33:49,300 Seen him off good and proper. 656 00:33:52,100 --> 00:33:53,833 His position at the Francombes', 657 00:33:55,367 --> 00:33:58,633 I applied for it, same time as him. 658 00:33:58,733 --> 00:33:59,733 Does he? 659 00:33:59,833 --> 00:34:01,800 He's never said anything of course, 660 00:34:03,267 --> 00:34:04,333 but then he wouldn't, 661 00:34:06,467 --> 00:34:07,333 but he knows. 662 00:34:12,133 --> 00:34:13,267 Arrogant bastard. 663 00:34:17,133 --> 00:34:19,567 [door bangs] 664 00:34:19,667 --> 00:34:20,700 Grace? 665 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:21,567 [door bangs] 666 00:34:21,667 --> 00:34:22,533 Grace? 667 00:34:31,867 --> 00:34:35,167 [sweet romantic music] 668 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:42,067 Come here Grace. 669 00:34:42,100 --> 00:34:45,367 [sweet romantic music] 670 00:34:54,733 --> 00:34:56,700 Five shillings. 671 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,067 Where else you gonna get the money from? 672 00:34:58,100 --> 00:35:00,367 And you wonder why I don't want anything to do with you. 673 00:35:00,467 --> 00:35:02,867 If you get caught we both get kicked out. 674 00:35:02,967 --> 00:35:03,933 If you don't get new shoes 675 00:35:04,067 --> 00:35:05,633 you're gonna get kicked out anyway. 676 00:35:06,567 --> 00:35:08,867 And if you go, I don't wanna stay. 677 00:35:08,967 --> 00:35:10,233 What are you on about? 678 00:35:11,300 --> 00:35:12,633 Go away. 679 00:35:12,733 --> 00:35:14,700 [George] Please love, take the money. 680 00:35:15,733 --> 00:35:17,333 I'll never be your love. 681 00:35:18,433 --> 00:35:20,067 Never say never, 682 00:35:20,167 --> 00:35:22,400 'cause you don't knows what's round the corner. 683 00:35:26,067 --> 00:35:27,067 The longer we stand here, 684 00:35:27,167 --> 00:35:29,067 the more likely we are to be caught. 685 00:35:29,167 --> 00:35:30,300 [Grace] Go you silly sod. 686 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:31,133 Take the money. 687 00:35:31,233 --> 00:35:32,067 [Grace] Go. 688 00:35:32,133 --> 00:35:33,233 -Grace, take the money. -Go to bed. 689 00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:34,767 [George] Grace? 690 00:35:41,067 --> 00:35:41,767 Grace? 691 00:35:41,867 --> 00:35:44,833 [melancholy music] 692 00:35:57,467 --> 00:35:59,200 [playful energetic music] 693 00:35:59,300 --> 00:36:01,967 [guest groans] 694 00:36:06,733 --> 00:36:09,200 [bell rings] 695 00:36:12,633 --> 00:36:13,367 Bollocks. 696 00:36:13,467 --> 00:36:17,500 [playful energetic music] 697 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,300 [Guest] Where's my man? 698 00:36:21,700 --> 00:36:24,267 [George] You all right Fred? 699 00:36:27,133 --> 00:36:28,967 [Betsy retches] 700 00:36:29,067 --> 00:36:31,500 All right Betsy, all right. 701 00:36:33,667 --> 00:36:35,067 [she retches] 702 00:36:35,167 --> 00:36:36,667 Oh no. 703 00:36:36,767 --> 00:36:37,733 Sorry miss. 704 00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:41,333 I'll bring you some water. 705 00:36:42,633 --> 00:36:45,233 [playful energetic music] 706 00:36:45,333 --> 00:36:47,600 [he farts] 707 00:36:56,700 --> 00:36:59,300 Take this linen up to whoever needs it, off you go. 708 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,600 Lizzie? 709 00:37:02,700 --> 00:37:04,100 Unlock the laundry, 710 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,067 light the fire under the cover, 711 00:37:06,167 --> 00:37:07,200 the big one! 712 00:37:09,067 --> 00:37:10,367 Be quiet for God's sake, 713 00:37:11,433 --> 00:37:12,467 you'll wake Prothero 714 00:37:12,567 --> 00:37:14,967 he'll have it right round the county in a week. 715 00:37:16,467 --> 00:37:20,067 [playful energetic music] 716 00:37:20,967 --> 00:37:22,200 Here, could you just deal with this? 717 00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:24,133 Me, really? 718 00:37:24,233 --> 00:37:25,167 Well I've got Miss Caroline. 719 00:37:25,267 --> 00:37:27,500 Oh I'm sorry Charlotte, like you said, 720 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,767 there's a lot more to it than just wiping shitty arses, 721 00:37:29,867 --> 00:37:32,600 and I'm just not trained up. 722 00:37:38,533 --> 00:37:39,967 [William retches] 723 00:37:40,067 --> 00:37:42,300 Jarvis has already been out smelling the pig swill, 724 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:44,133 so I can't be the only one thinking it. 725 00:37:44,233 --> 00:37:47,067 Bloody oysters, I only had one. 726 00:37:48,167 --> 00:37:49,633 Well if he puts the screws on fish-face, 727 00:37:49,733 --> 00:37:50,567 you and I should have finished him off 728 00:37:50,667 --> 00:37:52,133 and said goodbye to mortal life. 729 00:37:52,233 --> 00:37:54,833 [William retches] 730 00:37:54,933 --> 00:37:57,467 You said this was foolproof, no risk. 731 00:37:59,100 --> 00:38:01,333 They'll blame Prince Albert, won't they? 732 00:38:02,733 --> 00:38:05,067 If this costs me my job, my new livery, 733 00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:06,767 or anything else. 734 00:38:07,967 --> 00:38:09,600 It won't, I'll sort it, 735 00:38:10,533 --> 00:38:13,100 I'll tell the fishmonger to keep his mouth shut, 736 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:14,567 tomorrow, after church, 737 00:38:15,733 --> 00:38:17,300 before lunch sometime. 738 00:38:25,467 --> 00:38:27,833 [dog barks] 739 00:38:33,233 --> 00:38:35,700 Prospero come on, you've gotta run, 740 00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,333 leave the deer alone. 741 00:38:37,433 --> 00:38:38,400 Prospero! 742 00:38:38,500 --> 00:38:40,167 [dog barks] 743 00:38:40,267 --> 00:38:41,400 Come on, church. 744 00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:43,400 If you're breathing, you'll be there. 745 00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:44,833 Good morning Mr. Jarvis. 746 00:38:45,733 --> 00:38:48,400 Mr. Prothero, Mrs. Fraser. 747 00:38:48,500 --> 00:38:51,433 We're assuming that no one has died in the night. 748 00:38:51,533 --> 00:38:54,200 Apparently not, thank you Mr. Prothero. 749 00:38:54,300 --> 00:38:56,433 I will be with you directly, 750 00:38:56,533 --> 00:38:57,733 you know the way. 751 00:38:57,833 --> 00:38:59,367 Oh indeed, indeed. 752 00:38:59,467 --> 00:39:01,967 [bells toll] 753 00:39:04,867 --> 00:39:08,167 His lordship's waiting, where is everyone? 754 00:39:08,267 --> 00:39:10,667 I will not have unpunctuality, 755 00:39:10,767 --> 00:39:13,400 let's have some movement please. 756 00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:15,967 [bells toll] 757 00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:20,333 You're not ill, Mr. Adams? 758 00:39:20,433 --> 00:39:22,633 Are you accusing me of stealing? 759 00:39:22,733 --> 00:39:23,700 You'd better watch that mouth of yours. 760 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:24,933 Well I didn't eat any of the dinner 761 00:39:25,067 --> 00:39:25,733 and I'm not sick. 762 00:39:25,833 --> 00:39:27,900 And I didn't, and I'm just lovely. 763 00:39:28,067 --> 00:39:28,900 Youse is gonna be a lovely cripple 764 00:39:29,067 --> 00:39:30,533 if I hear any more out of you. 765 00:39:30,633 --> 00:39:31,333 His lordship's blaming the fish, 766 00:39:31,433 --> 00:39:33,300 that's all I'm saying. 767 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:34,367 If they blame the fish, 768 00:39:34,467 --> 00:39:36,367 then anyone who's sick has had some of the fish, 769 00:39:36,467 --> 00:39:37,700 that's what they'll say. 770 00:39:40,667 --> 00:39:43,467 If anyone asks I'm with Lord Francombe. 771 00:39:43,567 --> 00:39:45,867 I wish you'd shut up about the bloody fish Fred, 772 00:39:45,967 --> 00:39:47,067 it's not as if it's the only thing anyone ate. 773 00:39:47,133 --> 00:39:49,067 You know what I think? Oysters. 774 00:39:49,133 --> 00:39:50,367 It could have been anything, 775 00:39:50,467 --> 00:39:52,367 the amount of shite you were putting down your neck, 776 00:39:52,467 --> 00:39:53,300 anything you got your hands on, 777 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,867 cheeses, ham, cakes, egg flip. 778 00:39:59,900 --> 00:40:00,767 Egg flip. 779 00:40:03,033 --> 00:40:04,500 About time ladies and gentlemen, 780 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,500 if you please, quick as you like. 781 00:40:07,567 --> 00:40:08,867 No church Mr. Jarvis? 782 00:40:08,967 --> 00:40:09,967 I'm afraid not, 783 00:40:10,067 --> 00:40:13,067 the vicar and the curate are prostate in the crypt. 784 00:40:28,667 --> 00:40:30,400 Well I suppose if a lord gets the shits, 785 00:40:30,500 --> 00:40:31,733 then the vicar can too. 786 00:40:32,700 --> 00:40:34,200 Our dad used to say, 787 00:40:34,300 --> 00:40:35,300 "If anything's for free, 788 00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,233 "then the Church'll be there first." 789 00:40:37,333 --> 00:40:40,133 It's hardly Christian to crow about another's home. 790 00:40:40,233 --> 00:40:41,967 [Servants] Oh shut up Charlotte. 791 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,133 What? 792 00:40:45,233 --> 00:40:46,800 They'll be wondering where we are. 793 00:40:52,433 --> 00:40:53,567 They're mine. 794 00:40:53,667 --> 00:40:54,533 I know. 795 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,100 How did you get 'em. 796 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,533 Bought them back for you. 797 00:41:02,300 --> 00:41:04,267 And will you be expecting anything in return? 798 00:41:04,367 --> 00:41:05,233 Nothing, 799 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,800 I just don't like seeing you get in trouble, that's all. 800 00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:11,967 Well you're a real saint, George Cosmo. 801 00:41:13,267 --> 00:41:14,667 I know about the fish scam. 802 00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:20,067 I don't know what you're talking about. 803 00:41:21,233 --> 00:41:23,300 Frederick says it was the oysters. 804 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:24,567 Well Frederick's got a big mouth, 805 00:41:24,667 --> 00:41:26,300 and anyway, it wasn't. 806 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,767 And anyway, look, stuff it Grace. 807 00:41:29,867 --> 00:41:30,733 You need shoes, 808 00:41:32,967 --> 00:41:35,067 and these are going begging, 809 00:41:35,167 --> 00:41:37,067 so are you gonna put them on or not? 810 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:40,733 [sweet music] 811 00:41:54,633 --> 00:41:55,667 The guests are on the mend 812 00:41:55,767 --> 00:41:57,800 and will be leaving shortly for London, 813 00:41:57,900 --> 00:41:59,533 but the servants... 814 00:41:59,633 --> 00:42:02,067 [Mr. Jarvis] But the servants? What? 815 00:42:02,133 --> 00:42:03,833 Will have to stay an extra night. 816 00:42:03,933 --> 00:42:05,867 The devil they will. 817 00:42:05,967 --> 00:42:07,167 They'll be setting off tomorrow 818 00:42:07,267 --> 00:42:09,067 for their house in Edinburgh. 819 00:42:09,100 --> 00:42:11,967 Chortling as they go, crowing. 820 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:14,400 It's bad enough that we've poisoned the household, 821 00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:15,733 but in front of Prothero, 822 00:42:15,833 --> 00:42:17,267 in front of bloody Prothero. 823 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:19,933 The next sick servant I see, 824 00:42:20,067 --> 00:42:22,533 I'll wrench out his heart and eat it. 825 00:42:22,633 --> 00:42:23,633 [Andrew] Aye sir. 826 00:42:28,300 --> 00:42:29,233 Bloody Prothero. 827 00:42:47,133 --> 00:42:49,800 [Joseph groans] 828 00:42:52,100 --> 00:42:53,067 [George] Joseph? 829 00:42:54,967 --> 00:42:57,100 Did you drink the egg flip? 830 00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:58,300 What, that shite? 831 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,567 That's a pity Joseph, that is a pity, 832 00:43:02,667 --> 00:43:06,133 because if you ate the fish, 833 00:43:06,233 --> 00:43:08,267 some people might say you were a thief. 834 00:43:09,100 --> 00:43:11,367 If you didn't eat the fish though, 835 00:43:12,167 --> 00:43:14,233 and you did drink the egg flip, 836 00:43:15,067 --> 00:43:18,067 the egg flip that Prothero made, 837 00:43:18,133 --> 00:43:20,433 and told you to drink, well. 838 00:43:20,533 --> 00:43:23,233 [playful music] 839 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:28,167 Good man Joseph. 840 00:43:34,233 --> 00:43:34,967 Egg flip. 841 00:43:35,067 --> 00:43:37,767 [playful music] 842 00:44:09,233 --> 00:44:11,800 [Susan groans] 843 00:44:19,500 --> 00:44:20,367 Susan? 844 00:44:21,167 --> 00:44:23,167 [Andrew] You know damn well what I'm accusing you of. 845 00:44:23,267 --> 00:44:25,067 [William] I don't know what you're talking about. 846 00:44:25,167 --> 00:44:26,867 Did you go to the market? 847 00:44:26,967 --> 00:44:29,533 Did you tell Llewelyn to palm us off with any old rubbish? 848 00:44:29,633 --> 00:44:30,967 I wouldn't do that. 849 00:44:31,067 --> 00:44:32,633 I thought I was over the worst. 850 00:44:33,467 --> 00:44:35,700 I shouldn't come too near if I was you Mr. Adams. 851 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,700 I have four screaming brats at hame, 852 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,067 foetal incontinence is my bread and butter, 853 00:44:40,167 --> 00:44:43,467 now what is this scam you pathetic little shit? 854 00:44:45,867 --> 00:44:47,567 A confession, now Mr. Forrest, 855 00:44:47,667 --> 00:44:49,900 and all this nastiness can be put behind us. 856 00:44:50,767 --> 00:44:53,400 [George] They all drank egg flip and they're all sick, 857 00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:54,800 but they won't get in trouble for that. 858 00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:56,300 [Susan] Go away George. 859 00:44:57,700 --> 00:44:58,500 Think about it Susan, 860 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,400 if you ate the fish, you're a thief, 861 00:45:01,233 --> 00:45:03,400 if you drank the egg flip... 862 00:45:04,267 --> 00:45:04,967 Susan? 863 00:45:05,067 --> 00:45:07,800 Right, write whatever you want, 864 00:45:07,900 --> 00:45:10,567 I never touched the rotten fish. 865 00:45:12,267 --> 00:45:13,700 Happy? 866 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:17,200 And did you have any egg flip? 867 00:45:17,300 --> 00:45:19,533 I did, as it happens, 868 00:45:19,633 --> 00:45:21,767 but only what Mr. Prothero gave me. 869 00:45:22,933 --> 00:45:24,100 Excellent. 870 00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:25,067 Get some bread. 871 00:45:32,533 --> 00:45:34,633 [door creaks] 872 00:45:34,733 --> 00:45:35,867 Piss off Wilf. 873 00:45:41,833 --> 00:45:43,167 Nearly there, come on now, 874 00:45:44,067 --> 00:45:45,567 [bucket clatters] 875 00:45:45,667 --> 00:45:46,667 how much? 876 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:50,067 How much? 877 00:45:51,067 --> 00:45:52,067 A guinea. 878 00:45:52,100 --> 00:45:52,967 A guinea? 879 00:45:53,933 --> 00:45:55,500 You dumb bastard, 880 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:57,467 have you any idea 881 00:45:57,567 --> 00:46:01,133 how much that contract's worth to Llewelyn? 882 00:46:01,233 --> 00:46:02,200 Hand it over, 883 00:46:03,867 --> 00:46:05,233 and Jarvis need never know. 884 00:46:06,067 --> 00:46:08,367 If you don't, then I will tell him 885 00:46:08,467 --> 00:46:12,533 what a grasping, greedy, dishonest little prick you are, 886 00:46:12,633 --> 00:46:15,833 and how you have brought sickness and disgrace to Taplows, 887 00:46:17,433 --> 00:46:18,733 how does that tickle you? 888 00:46:25,867 --> 00:46:27,600 It's only a matter of time. 889 00:46:30,767 --> 00:46:32,300 One small incident like this 890 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,533 in a lifetime of service Mr. Kraus, 891 00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,567 and no one would risk losing you for that. 892 00:46:38,967 --> 00:46:40,833 Excuse me Mr. Jarvis, 893 00:46:40,933 --> 00:46:42,867 his lordship wishes to speak to chef. 894 00:46:46,833 --> 00:46:48,767 You have nothing to worry about Felix. 895 00:47:12,167 --> 00:47:13,067 Bloody idiot. 896 00:47:15,633 --> 00:47:19,667 All I wanna know is did you have any egg flip? 897 00:47:19,767 --> 00:47:20,633 Johnny? 898 00:47:22,467 --> 00:47:23,333 Yes. 899 00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:27,800 [Earl Of Taplow] No more Prussian rubbish, 900 00:47:27,900 --> 00:47:30,400 we'll have good, plain English from now on. 901 00:47:31,567 --> 00:47:35,200 [lighthearted tense music] 902 00:47:43,333 --> 00:47:45,200 Chef, chef, I'm looking for George. 903 00:47:46,167 --> 00:47:47,100 Chef? 904 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:49,800 [jaunty music] 905 00:47:52,467 --> 00:47:55,100 You can't have spent it, you haven't been anywhere. 906 00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:55,933 I haven't got it. 907 00:47:56,067 --> 00:47:56,900 Then get it. 908 00:47:58,100 --> 00:48:00,067 It went on a pair of shoes. 909 00:48:00,100 --> 00:48:02,867 This is you running after skirt again, isn't it? 910 00:48:02,967 --> 00:48:04,067 This is you pouring everything out 911 00:48:04,100 --> 00:48:05,233 to the first nosy bastard. 912 00:48:05,333 --> 00:48:06,767 He saw me leaving the estate, 913 00:48:06,867 --> 00:48:09,633 he's not daft, he would have worked it out for himself. 914 00:48:11,833 --> 00:48:13,200 So we give him a cut. 915 00:48:13,300 --> 00:48:15,800 We give him every penny otherwise he goes to Jarvis. 916 00:48:15,900 --> 00:48:16,867 He wouldn't. 917 00:48:16,967 --> 00:48:19,133 He would, they've already laid into Prince Albert, 918 00:48:19,233 --> 00:48:20,500 we're next for the chop. 919 00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:21,633 What, chef's been sacked? 920 00:48:21,733 --> 00:48:24,133 Well either that or his tart died of syphilis, 921 00:48:25,367 --> 00:48:26,633 he's as white as a sheet. 922 00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:31,633 George, where you going? 923 00:48:31,733 --> 00:48:33,067 [George] To see Jarvis, save my job. 924 00:48:33,133 --> 00:48:34,367 George, wait a minute. 925 00:48:38,567 --> 00:48:40,167 I hope those stinking shoes cripple you, 926 00:48:40,267 --> 00:48:41,467 I hope they give you foot rot. 927 00:48:41,567 --> 00:48:42,333 What are you on about? 928 00:48:42,433 --> 00:48:43,167 Your bloody shoes 929 00:48:43,267 --> 00:48:45,067 have cost me and George our jobs. 930 00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:47,567 And your silence cost me three months' wages. 931 00:48:48,533 --> 00:48:49,633 Who dropped that tray? 932 00:48:50,900 --> 00:48:52,800 When you tell the truth about that... 933 00:49:06,667 --> 00:49:10,200 God Felix, why the hell did you have to do oysters? 934 00:49:11,100 --> 00:49:14,067 Oh my friend, the smallest thread 935 00:49:14,133 --> 00:49:16,400 emanating from the most enfeebled silkworm, 936 00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:20,867 in the most malnourished worm in the worst arse-hole of Asia 937 00:49:20,967 --> 00:49:22,667 is thicker and stronger 938 00:49:22,767 --> 00:49:25,567 than the thread by which I have held onto my position 939 00:49:25,667 --> 00:49:26,767 in this kitchen. 940 00:49:37,133 --> 00:49:40,567 Oh no, not another delicious, life-threatening treat. 941 00:49:40,667 --> 00:49:42,900 No one has died Mr. Prothero. 942 00:49:45,767 --> 00:49:48,367 Not for the want of trying, eh Mrs. Ryan. 943 00:49:56,467 --> 00:49:59,333 [Fred] Oi, the slathering beast wants you. 944 00:49:59,433 --> 00:50:02,200 Tell him I haven't got his bloody money. 945 00:50:02,300 --> 00:50:03,267 What are you talking about now? 946 00:50:03,367 --> 00:50:05,033 I went down the deer park with him, 947 00:50:05,133 --> 00:50:07,133 Joe did the river walk, you get off easy. 948 00:50:07,233 --> 00:50:08,900 Get stuffed Fred, 949 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,133 I've had enough of the Prothero tribe. 950 00:50:11,233 --> 00:50:12,067 And I haven't? 951 00:50:13,867 --> 00:50:15,300 Right Prospero, come on. 952 00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:16,933 Prospero, this way. 953 00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:20,300 Prospero, Prospero, Prospero! 954 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:21,500 No, Prospero! 955 00:50:23,867 --> 00:50:24,733 Prospero? 956 00:50:26,067 --> 00:50:26,900 Prospero? 957 00:50:30,900 --> 00:50:33,467 Go on, that's right, stuff your face. 958 00:50:33,567 --> 00:50:35,100 I hope it bloody poisons you, 959 00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:37,867 I hope it kills you, 960 00:50:39,533 --> 00:50:41,533 I hope you die in agony. 961 00:50:50,467 --> 00:50:52,167 Right, come on. 962 00:50:52,267 --> 00:50:53,867 Come on, come here, 963 00:50:56,067 --> 00:50:56,867 come here Prospero, 964 00:50:56,967 --> 00:50:57,967 come here, come on, come on, come on. 965 00:50:58,067 --> 00:50:59,000 It's just you were so busy sir, 966 00:50:59,100 --> 00:51:01,067 I didn't think you'd get the chance to notice. 967 00:51:01,133 --> 00:51:02,300 He was going all around the house 968 00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:03,800 making a big thing of it, 969 00:51:03,900 --> 00:51:06,933 like they live off it and we only have beer or something, 970 00:51:07,067 --> 00:51:08,133 got right up my nose. 971 00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:10,700 15? 972 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,500 Yeah, they're just the ones I managed to speak to sir, 973 00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:13,867 every single one of them, 974 00:51:13,967 --> 00:51:16,167 egg flip, no fish. 975 00:51:16,267 --> 00:51:18,833 Bloody marvellous, bloody wonderful, 976 00:51:20,100 --> 00:51:21,267 bloody Prothero eh. 977 00:51:22,167 --> 00:51:23,700 And Llewelyn sir, do you still wanna see him? 978 00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:24,733 Well there's no need, 979 00:51:24,833 --> 00:51:26,133 send him home when he gets here, my apologies, 980 00:51:26,233 --> 00:51:28,167 tell him I'll see it's all right. 981 00:51:28,267 --> 00:51:29,067 Well done. 982 00:51:29,133 --> 00:51:32,667 [energising fiddle music] 983 00:51:44,633 --> 00:51:47,333 [fire crackles] 984 00:51:58,067 --> 00:51:58,933 He never? 985 00:52:01,767 --> 00:52:02,667 Maggie? 986 00:52:02,767 --> 00:52:05,600 Mind your language girls, it's Mistress May 987 00:52:05,700 --> 00:52:08,200 and the ring what she could never bear to sell. 988 00:52:11,233 --> 00:52:13,767 [he whistles] 989 00:52:17,767 --> 00:52:18,500 [Felix] What the hell? 990 00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:19,367 That's my bag. 991 00:52:19,467 --> 00:52:20,633 [Agnes] We don't go 'til morning. 992 00:52:20,733 --> 00:52:21,767 Ha. 993 00:52:21,867 --> 00:52:23,567 You are respectfully requested to revise that plan 994 00:52:23,667 --> 00:52:25,300 and piss off now. 995 00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:27,733 How dare you speak to us like that. 996 00:52:27,833 --> 00:52:30,400 We have been housed in inadequate quarters, 997 00:52:30,500 --> 00:52:34,233 disregarded, fed slop barely fit for pigs. 998 00:52:34,333 --> 00:52:35,567 Barely fit for pigs? 999 00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:38,833 I'm mortified, I expressly instructed 1000 00:52:38,933 --> 00:52:41,400 that your food must be absolutely fit for pigs. 1001 00:52:46,900 --> 00:52:48,300 Out, out, out, 1002 00:52:49,267 --> 00:52:50,200 thank you, out. 1003 00:52:51,233 --> 00:52:54,100 Your sojourn here is over, 1004 00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:56,567 and our brief spell in purgatory. 1005 00:52:59,067 --> 00:53:00,067 A lesser house would not have been able 1006 00:53:00,133 --> 00:53:01,900 to deal with the distemper you brought upon is. 1007 00:53:02,067 --> 00:53:03,467 Our carriage isn't here yet. 1008 00:53:03,567 --> 00:53:06,200 And it is about to rain. 1009 00:53:06,300 --> 00:53:08,467 A little light rain will do you no harm, 1010 00:53:09,700 --> 00:53:11,067 while we pray for a deluge. 1011 00:53:12,767 --> 00:53:14,533 Mrs. Ryan, after you. 1012 00:53:17,967 --> 00:53:19,733 [Servant] Go on, off you go mate 1013 00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:22,533 We'll send an invoice 1014 00:53:22,633 --> 00:53:25,267 for the greenhouse door and three peacocks. 1015 00:53:25,367 --> 00:53:26,767 Bye bye Miss Agnes. 1016 00:53:26,867 --> 00:53:30,467 Ta ta Pauline, and Mr. Prothero too. 1017 00:53:30,567 --> 00:53:33,267 [Servant] Oi Agnes, such a lemon. 1018 00:53:33,367 --> 00:53:36,733 [the servants laugh] 1019 00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:38,067 He he, you all right big boy? 1020 00:53:38,100 --> 00:53:40,167 No, I'm only cheeking. 1021 00:53:40,267 --> 00:53:44,733 Mr. Forrest, reckoning time if you please. 1022 00:53:45,567 --> 00:53:46,467 I've only got 15 bob, 1023 00:53:46,567 --> 00:53:47,800 what do I do now? 1024 00:53:47,900 --> 00:53:49,567 I've dealt with it. 1025 00:53:49,667 --> 00:53:51,100 The fish was fine, official. 1026 00:53:52,067 --> 00:53:54,500 Andrew doesn't give a toss about the fish, 1027 00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:56,367 all he wants is the money, 1028 00:53:56,467 --> 00:53:57,967 or my bollocks on his plate. 1029 00:53:59,367 --> 00:54:00,167 I haven't got the money man. 1030 00:54:00,267 --> 00:54:02,133 No, you chucked it away 1031 00:54:02,233 --> 00:54:04,300 chasing after Grace May's tits. 1032 00:54:05,267 --> 00:54:09,133 Here, before the whole house hears you. 1033 00:54:09,233 --> 00:54:11,067 I'm not just a pair of tits William. 1034 00:54:12,933 --> 00:54:15,667 [playful music] 1035 00:54:19,067 --> 00:54:22,067 [Mr. Jarvis] "How dare you speak to us like that." 1036 00:54:22,133 --> 00:54:25,600 "We've been housed in inadequate quarters, disregarded." 1037 00:54:25,700 --> 00:54:29,333 "We've been fed food barely fit for pigs." 1038 00:54:32,233 --> 00:54:34,667 [dog growls] 1039 00:54:36,900 --> 00:54:38,567 Did you hear what Felix said to that? 1040 00:54:38,667 --> 00:54:40,733 Yeah, that was very impolite. 1041 00:54:41,867 --> 00:54:43,867 I meant to reprove him about that, 1042 00:54:45,933 --> 00:54:48,167 but I was too busy laughing at the time. 1043 00:54:48,267 --> 00:54:49,933 [they laugh] 1044 00:54:50,067 --> 00:54:50,867 Mrs. Ryan. 1045 00:54:56,233 --> 00:54:58,700 [dog retches] 1046 00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:01,567 [playful music] 1047 00:55:05,667 --> 00:55:06,500 Bugger. 1048 00:55:09,467 --> 00:55:12,300 There is something I think you should all know, 1049 00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:15,267 just between us, as friends, 1050 00:55:16,667 --> 00:55:20,933 and not to be relayed to Mr. Jarvis. 1051 00:55:21,733 --> 00:55:24,233 You were not poisoned by the Francombes' egg flip, 1052 00:55:25,167 --> 00:55:27,300 you were got by a substandard fish 1053 00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:30,667 that this craven, greedy bastard introduced to the house. 1054 00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:35,367 And thanks to Willie boy here, 1055 00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:38,100 all our visitors have fled 1056 00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:39,800 without leaving a single tip. 1057 00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:46,067 But because I am his friend, as well as yours, 1058 00:55:47,767 --> 00:55:49,700 and for the honour of Taplows, 1059 00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:52,133 and so that Mr. Forrest here can keep his job, 1060 00:55:54,333 --> 00:55:56,767 we will all keep quiet, shall we. 1061 00:55:59,533 --> 00:56:01,967 [he clicks] 1062 00:56:05,867 --> 00:56:07,767 I tried to tell you. 1063 00:56:10,100 --> 00:56:12,100 Hey, it'll stop the dry retching. 1064 00:56:14,067 --> 00:56:15,467 Got you an extra egg and black pudding. 1065 00:56:15,567 --> 00:56:18,300 [William groans] 1066 00:56:20,133 --> 00:56:22,833 [coins clatter] 1067 00:56:23,700 --> 00:56:25,233 It was a long, hard day, 1068 00:56:25,333 --> 00:56:26,567 but at last you're home. 1069 00:56:31,933 --> 00:56:33,733 Very smart Mr. Cosmo. 1070 00:56:39,833 --> 00:56:40,900 My new livery. 1071 00:56:41,067 --> 00:56:43,700 [servants whistle and clap] 1072 00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:46,500 [servants applaud and cheer] 1073 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:47,467 [Servant] Go on then. 1074 00:56:47,567 --> 00:56:48,900 [Fred] Go on, kiss her you soft get. 1075 00:56:49,067 --> 00:56:51,133 Yeah, if you're that desperate. 1076 00:56:51,233 --> 00:56:51,967 Beer. 1077 00:56:52,067 --> 00:56:53,433 [Fred] Oh about time Wilf. 1078 00:56:56,233 --> 00:56:58,900 Sorry about your ring, I owe you. 1079 00:57:01,367 --> 00:57:02,933 You got me my shoes. 1080 00:57:03,833 --> 00:57:05,533 So you owe me, huh? 1081 00:57:05,633 --> 00:57:08,833 [playful tense music] 1082 00:57:24,300 --> 00:57:27,567 [upbeat Baroque music] 1083 00:57:32,733 --> 00:57:33,533 The trousers have come off love. 1084 00:57:33,633 --> 00:57:35,333 Not for me they don't. 1085 00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:40,200 [William] He's dead. 1086 00:57:40,300 --> 00:57:41,067 [George] Breathe. 1087 00:57:41,133 --> 00:57:42,067 It wasn't his fault. 1088 00:57:42,167 --> 00:57:44,267 I don't think the earl will see it that way. 1089 00:57:46,067 --> 00:57:47,667 Be very careful Mrs. Ryan. 1090 00:57:48,533 --> 00:57:50,367 Should I have asked your permission? 1091 00:57:51,733 --> 00:57:55,067 [upbeat Baroque music]