1
00:01:10,765 --> 00:01:13,159
(speaking Latin)

2
00:01:15,553 --> 00:01:16,597
(girl) Hello!

3
00:01:17,337 --> 00:01:18,904
English, please.

4
00:01:18,947 --> 00:01:21,733
I'm surrounded by idiots.

5
00:01:21,776 --> 00:01:23,517
That girl is a lot.

6
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:24,562
(loud thud)

7
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:28,566
(gasps)

8
00:01:28,609 --> 00:01:30,133
(rattling)

9
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,310
(crackling)

10
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:39,272
I told you, Pugsley.
It's push, not pull.

11
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,621
Hello, everyone!

12
00:01:41,361 --> 00:01:42,536
I can't believe

13
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,799
parents let their
children go out like this.

14
00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:47,715
They're all so clean,

15
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:49,152
shiny.

16
00:01:49,195 --> 00:01:50,979
<font color="
not all bad, my dear.

17
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,764
At least they pit the
children against each other

18
00:01:52,807 --> 00:01:54,200
in a competition

19
00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:56,637
that will inevitably
scar the losers forever.

20
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:59,988
Behold! The gift of Prometheus!

21
00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:04,819
(both cheering)

22
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:06,343
Ugh.

23
00:02:07,082 --> 00:02:08,345
Step aside, kid.

24
00:02:08,388 --> 00:02:09,824
I'll show you how it's done.

25
00:02:11,217 --> 00:02:12,175
(grunts)

26
00:02:13,219 --> 00:02:14,264
-(chuckles)
-(girl) What?

27
00:02:14,307 --> 00:02:16,179
-(continues
grunting)</font> -<font color="

28
00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:19,356
<b>WEDNESDAY</b>: Ladies and gentlemen.

29
00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:23,055
Come on, come on.
Wednesday is next.

30
00:02:23,098 --> 00:02:25,710
Have you ever found
yourself discontented

31
00:02:25,753 --> 00:02:27,451
by those closest to you?

32
00:02:27,494 --> 00:02:30,062
Are you irked by their inability

33
00:02:30,105 --> 00:02:33,108
to heed simple requests?

34
00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:37,069
Such as, "Please don't
come to my science fair."

35
00:02:37,112 --> 00:02:39,158
(chuckling) She's
talking about us.

36
00:02:40,681 --> 00:02:42,161
<b>WEDNESDAY</b>: Do you
ever wish you could take

37
00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,989
their undesirable qualities

38
00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:46,861
and eliminate them forever?

39
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,037
It can be done.

40
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:51,779
Meet my Uncle Fester.

41
00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:53,041
Hello!

42
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,956
-(screams)
-(man gags)

43
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,523
-(body thuds)
-That's my brother.

44
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,133
Observe.

45
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,658
Hmm.

46
00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:01,789
(sniffs)

47
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,617
-(rattles)
-Mm.

48
00:03:04,531 --> 00:03:05,576
(grunts)

49
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,404
(chomping)

50
00:03:07,447 --> 00:03:08,492
(burps)

51
00:03:08,535 --> 00:03:09,928
-<font color="
-(woman) Come on!

52
00:03:09,971 --> 00:03:11,973
Stomach-turning, isn't it?

53
00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,627
In stark contrast, however,

54
00:03:14,715 --> 00:03:16,456
is Socrates.

55
00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:19,720
(all) Oh.

56
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,722
Psst! Are you gonna eat that?

57
00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:24,638
This led me to
ponder the question,

58
00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:28,120
what if personality
traits could be extracted

59
00:03:28,163 --> 00:03:30,470
and implanted between creatures?

60
00:03:32,820 --> 00:03:33,952
(liquid sloshes)

61
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,438
Bottoms up.

62
00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:44,876
Mmm. (smacks lips)

63
00:03:44,919 --> 00:03:45,920
Ooh.

64
00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:51,056
<font color="

65
00:03:53,319 --> 00:03:54,668
(crowd applauding)

66
00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:59,325
(chuckles) Yay! All right!
Thank you, thank you.

67
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:00,413
What happened?

68
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:02,197
(crunching)

69
00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:04,591
(laughs) Is there
a single person

70
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,289
in the history of the world

71
00:04:06,332 --> 00:04:08,291
who's made more
of a breakthrough?

72
00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:10,815
She's an enfant terrible.

73
00:04:10,858 --> 00:04:13,774
With the focus on terrible.

74
00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:18,953
Cara mia,you know
what French does to me.

75
00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:23,567
<font color="
moment you've all been waiting for.

76
00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:25,917
Here to present the
awards at this year's

77
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,223
Strange Foundation
National Science Fair,

78
00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,834
is the brilliant innovator

79
00:04:29,877 --> 00:04:34,491
and the namesake of our
foundation, Cyrus Strange.

80
00:04:34,534 --> 00:04:36,319
(laughing)

81
00:04:36,362 --> 00:04:38,582
Hello, everyone.

82
00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:39,931
Oh!

83
00:04:39,974 --> 00:04:42,150
(glitches slightly) I'm
so honored to be here.

84
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:45,153
But, well, I'm not
actually there, I'm...

85
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:46,894
-here!(laughing)
-<font color="

86
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,201
Well, you get it.

87
00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:51,203
Welcome to this
year's science fair.

88
00:04:51,246 --> 00:04:52,552
I'm excited to honor this group

89
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,598
of brilliant minds
we have before us.

90
00:04:54,641 --> 00:04:56,382
(glitching) Let's proceed.

91
00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,602
(announcer) And the winner is...

92
00:04:58,645 --> 00:04:59,994
-Good luck.
-(chuckles)

93
00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:03,737
Oh. You were serious.

94
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:07,654
(announcer) Everyone
who participated.

95
00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,917
-What?
-<font color="

96
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:13,007
This year, we are
embracing a new philosophy.

97
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:15,532
Just trying makes you a winner.

98
00:05:15,575 --> 00:05:18,883
But how can you be a
winner if no one is a loser?

99
00:05:18,926 --> 00:05:21,755
(announcer) Every single
one of you is special.

100
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:22,974
Disagree.

101
00:05:23,017 --> 00:05:24,018
He's not special.

102
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:26,369
Did you see his volcano?

103
00:05:26,412 --> 00:05:28,414
What was that? Baking soda?

104
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:29,981
Is this the third grade?

105
00:05:30,024 --> 00:05:32,070
It does not count!

106
00:05:32,113 --> 00:05:33,680
Don't you get it?

107
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:36,640
-Ugh.
-I get it, Wednesday.

108
00:05:36,683 --> 00:05:37,989
I watched your presentation.

109
00:05:38,032 --> 00:05:40,034
It was brilliant.

110
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,036
Yes, I'm aware of that.

111
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,821
I see a kindred spirit in you.

112
00:05:43,864 --> 00:05:46,650
Mm-hmm. The
makings of a great mind.

113
00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:49,130
If you'd like to share
your research with me,

114
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,394
I could develop it
further in my lab.

115
00:05:51,437 --> 00:05:53,221
Imagine what would happen

116
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:56,573
if we combined your data
with the proper resources?

117
00:05:56,616 --> 00:05:59,358
Alas, I can't share any of that.

118
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:00,838
It's a family secret.

119
00:06:00,881 --> 00:06:02,622
I see.

120
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:05,103
And which family is yours?

121
00:06:05,146 --> 00:06:06,147
Fire in the hole!

122
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:07,148
<i>♫ "Welcome to the
Madhouse" playing ♫</i>

123
00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:08,062
<font color="

124
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,194
Oh.

125
00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:10,587
(screaming)

126
00:06:10,630 --> 00:06:12,458
Pretty hot, eh, ladies?

127
00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:15,026
Nice job, Romeo.

128
00:06:15,069 --> 00:06:16,636
<i>♫  Welcome to the madhouse  ♫</i>

129
00:06:18,725 --> 00:06:21,902
<i>♫ Where they all
come back For more ♫</i>

130
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:23,426
<i>♫  Welcome to the madhouse  ♫</i>

131
00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:27,821
Morticia, my queen,

132
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:29,693
you inflame me.

133
00:06:29,736 --> 00:06:33,044
I feel liquid magma
lapping at my body.

134
00:06:33,087 --> 00:06:34,828
You're on fire, dear.

135
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,613
Ha! So I am!

136
00:06:38,092 --> 00:06:39,746
<font color="

137
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,444
My condolences.

138
00:06:43,576 --> 00:06:44,664
(Fester laughing)

139
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:47,275
<i>♫  Welcome to the madhouse  ♫</i>

140
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,715
(theme music playing)

141
00:06:55,283 --> 00:06:56,502
(thunder crashing)

142
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:05,000
Improved Captions by <b>Sailor420</b>

142
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,500
!!! Hope you enjoy the film !!!

142
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:19,482
Great thinkers need
obstacles to function.

143
00:07:19,525 --> 00:07:21,875
Yet, with every
meaningless trophy,

144
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:25,662
I become more and
more unremarkable.

145
00:07:25,705 --> 00:07:30,362
And with every hug,
more brain cells erode.

146
00:07:30,405 --> 00:07:33,626
But, like the phoenix
from the ashes,

147
00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:36,324
I shall rise above this setback.

148
00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:41,068
Together, we shall
turn heads, Socrates.

149
00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:44,811
Starting with Pugsley.

150
00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:45,943
-(Pugsley squeaks)
-(bones crack)

151
00:07:45,986 --> 00:07:46,813
(groans)

152
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,206
(grunts)

153
00:07:48,249 --> 00:07:50,774
-Love hurts, huh, kid?
-Huh?

154
00:07:50,817 --> 00:07:53,167
Well, I saw you
swing and miss horribly

155
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,561
with the ladies
at the science fair.

156
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:59,043
So, I thought you
should read my book!

157
00:07:59,086 --> 00:08:03,961
The Fester Method: How to
Woo and Other Tips on Love.

158
00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:05,266
(laughs)

159
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:06,529
You wrote this?

160
00:08:06,572 --> 00:08:08,356
Self-published, on the Internet.

161
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,271
Not easy to do.

162
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:13,274
Pugsley, I've been
on three first dates.

163
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:16,713
I mean, who else has
that kind of experience?

164
00:08:20,107 --> 00:08:23,720
I know this, uh, goes
against guy code,

165
00:08:23,763 --> 00:08:25,591
but what are you
doing Friday night?

166
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:27,593
-(fanfare blaring)
-<font color="

167
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:32,337
Hey, you kids,
come on down here.

168
00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:33,556
It's dinner time.

169
00:08:33,599 --> 00:08:35,427
<b>FESTER</b>: Mmm.

170
00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:36,646
-(yelps) -Oh, boy,
oh, boy, oh, boy!

171
00:08:36,689 --> 00:08:37,908
(Pugsley coughs)

172
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,258
It's dinner time, my
favorite nighttime meal!

173
00:08:40,301 --> 00:08:41,476
(yelps) My balls!

174
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,478
Ow, ow. My stomach! (grunting)

175
00:08:43,522 --> 00:08:45,132
-(Grandma screams)
-uh-oh, my head!

176
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,612
<font color="

177
00:08:48,135 --> 00:08:50,181
(laughs) Mmm.

178
00:08:51,225 --> 00:08:52,183
Oh!

179
00:08:53,488 --> 00:08:55,273
-(groans)
-(Fester groans)

180
00:08:55,316 --> 00:08:57,188
Please, Uncle Fester,
wait for the children.

181
00:08:57,231 --> 00:08:58,668
Children?

182
00:08:58,711 --> 00:09:00,800
I thought we were
having chicken.

183
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,497
Where are those two?

184
00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:04,891
Pugsley may have an
appetite for destruction,

185
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:07,067
but it's never a
match for his stomach.

186
00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:08,547
I wouldn't wait on Pugsley.

187
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:11,028
Kid's got a lot of
homework to do.

188
00:09:11,071 --> 00:09:12,595
<font color="

189
00:09:12,638 --> 00:09:14,597
Let's at least wait
for Wednesday.

190
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,381
(glass shatters)

191
00:09:16,424 --> 00:09:18,557
Why does nobody in this family

192
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,211
come in through the front door?

193
00:09:20,254 --> 00:09:22,300
"Dearest Mother and Father,

194
00:09:22,343 --> 00:09:25,259
I will not be attending this
evening's ritual mastication."

195
00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:26,565
I guess she's not hungry.

196
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,567
"It's not that I'm not hungry,

197
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,569
I am just choosing
to spare myself

198
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,703
the agony of your compliments
on my performance today

199
00:09:33,746 --> 00:09:36,793
and your needy attempt to hang
my award above the fireplace."

200
00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:38,664
I should go try to talk to her.

201
00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,405
<b>MORTICIA</b>: "Don't
try to talk to me.

202
00:09:40,448 --> 00:09:41,711
I want to be alone."

203
00:09:41,754 --> 00:09:44,278
We should bring
her a plate at least.

204
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,454
"P.S. Don't even
bring me a plate."

205
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:49,022
(groans) This is
the third dinner

206
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,589
Wednesday has skipped this week.

207
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,156
Why is she avoiding us?

208
00:09:52,199 --> 00:09:55,159
All I ever do is try to
love and support her.

209
00:09:55,202 --> 00:09:58,510
Gomez, I think she's
saying that's the problem.

210
00:09:58,553 --> 00:10:01,556
You're brilliant, cara mia.

211
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,515
-What?
-She's trying to tell me

212
00:10:03,558 --> 00:10:05,735
that what a young girl wants

213
00:10:05,778 --> 00:10:07,650
is a ton of attention
from her father.

214
00:10:07,693 --> 00:10:10,740
Or you could just
keep being yourself.

215
00:10:10,783 --> 00:10:13,438
Let her come back to
us when she's ready.

216
00:10:13,481 --> 00:10:15,396
But that could take forever!

217
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:19,444
(gasps) I have the very
solution to the problem, cara mia.

218
00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:21,011
We'll take a family road trip.

219
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,577
What?

220
00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:25,145
You've always wanted to
see more of this great country.

221
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,843
Well, it's true.

222
00:10:26,886 --> 00:10:30,673
We have some of the best
dark secrets, as countries go.

223
00:10:30,716 --> 00:10:32,065
Then it's settled!

224
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:35,286
We are going on an
Addams family vacation!

225
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,332
(rooster crowing)

226
00:10:39,246 --> 00:10:40,987
<b>GOMEZ</b>: Come on, kids.

227
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:44,991
Feast your eyes on
the old Addams camper.

228
00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,863
Thing's been fixing it up.

229
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,696
(gulps, slurps)

230
00:10:53,739 --> 00:10:54,914
It's a hybrid.

231
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:57,525
Half car, half eyesore.

232
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,267
<b>WEDNESDAY</b>: Mother,
Father, this is cruel.

233
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,182
Even for you.

234
00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:03,793
(Lurch groans)

235
00:11:03,836 --> 00:11:06,273
-That's the spirit, Lurch.
-<font color="

236
00:11:08,188 --> 00:11:10,234
-(horn screams)
-Ha-Ha!

237
00:11:10,277 --> 00:11:11,714
Let's go, Wednesday.

238
00:11:11,757 --> 00:11:14,020
It's time for some
family bonding.

239
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,719
Whether you like it or not.

240
00:11:17,763 --> 00:11:19,243
You see, Wednesday,

241
00:11:19,286 --> 00:11:20,897
this trip will bring
the Addams family

242
00:11:20,940 --> 00:11:23,595
closer than ever
before. (chuckles)

243
00:11:23,638 --> 00:11:25,771
(Pugsley straining)

244
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:28,426
Or there will be no survivors.

245
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,471
(man) Hello?

246
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,169
Anybody home?

247
00:11:32,212 --> 00:11:33,257
Hello?

248
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:34,388
Mr. Addams?

249
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,348
Hello, good sir!

250
00:11:37,391 --> 00:11:38,392
I am Gomez Addams.

251
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:42,092
And this is my wife, Morticia.

252
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,571
Charmed.

253
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:45,138
I'll get right to the point.

254
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:46,792
My name is Mustela.

255
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:50,274
I'm a lawyer representing a
couple in Sausalito, California.

256
00:11:50,317 --> 00:11:52,058
Recent evidence
has come to light

257
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:54,713
that on the night of my
client's daughter's birth,

258
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:56,280
she may have been switched

259
00:11:56,323 --> 00:11:58,499
with another child
at the hospital.

260
00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:03,069
Namely, a Wednesday Addams.

261
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,592
-(Morticia snickers)
-(laughing hysterically)

262
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:09,162
Ooh, hilarious!

263
00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:13,166
All this, just to get out
of a family road trip.

264
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,125
How much did Wednesday pay you?

265
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,691
Excuse me?

266
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:19,172
Oh! Sorry, sorry,
where are my manners?

267
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,871
I think he's expecting a tip.

268
00:12:21,914 --> 00:12:24,830
No, I'm expecting a DNA sample.

269
00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:26,658
If you'll bring the
child here, we can--

270
00:12:26,701 --> 00:12:29,400
I never seem to have a tip.

271
00:12:29,443 --> 00:12:30,793
-(Mr. Mustela gasps)
-I do.

272
00:12:30,836 --> 00:12:33,621
Great Uncle Zander left
me these tips in his will.

273
00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,754
I knew one day
they'd come in handy.

274
00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:37,887
There you go, my good man.

275
00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:40,454
Well played. Very
amusing indeed.

276
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,413
I assure you, Mr. Addams,

277
00:12:42,456 --> 00:12:45,590
there's nothing
amusing about this.

278
00:12:45,633 --> 00:12:48,985
And this is far from over!

279
00:12:49,028 --> 00:12:51,204
I can't believe he
gave me the finger.

280
00:12:52,466 --> 00:12:55,469
Mother, Father,
who was that man?

281
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,341
Very funny, Wednesday.

282
00:12:57,384 --> 00:12:59,082
(laughs) Nice try.

283
00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:01,388
I have no idea what
you're talking about.

284
00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:02,999
Who was he?

285
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:07,394
No one for you to worry about.

286
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:08,743
No one at all, dear.

287
00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:10,658
Hmm.

288
00:13:11,964 --> 00:13:13,531
<b>MORTICIA</b>: Thank you
for watching the house

289
00:13:13,574 --> 00:13:14,924
while we're gone, Grandma.

290
00:13:14,967 --> 00:13:17,448
It's such a relief to
know it's in safe hands.

291
00:13:17,491 --> 00:13:19,058
Oh, please.

292
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:22,496
Trust me, these hands
have cracked many safes.

293
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:25,717
Thing, let the
vacation commence!

294
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,371
(engine starts)

295
00:13:27,414 --> 00:13:28,633
Let's roll!

296
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:33,725
(up-tempo music playing)

297
00:13:33,768 --> 00:13:35,292
(tires screeching)

298
00:13:39,426 --> 00:13:41,515
Bye! Farewell!

299
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:44,301
Adios!Toodle-oo!

300
00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:46,303
Whoo-hoo-hoo! I
thought they'd never leave.

301
00:13:46,346 --> 00:13:49,262
(spirit) Let's party!

302
00:13:49,915 --> 00:13:51,351
(Grandma laughs)

303
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,092
You read my mind, chuckles.

304
00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:54,877
Time to make some money.

305
00:14:02,536 --> 00:14:03,624
I thought that first,

306
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:06,279
we shall pay our
respects to the immolated

307
00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:08,412
in the witch-haunted
city of Salem.

308
00:14:08,455 --> 00:14:12,459
Then, in the great nomadic
tradition of our ancestors,

309
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:16,376
we'll flit hither and thither
across this great nation

310
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,725
until we reach

311
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,858
-our final destination.
-(muffled screaming)

312
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:23,862
The place on Earth
where people are happiest!

313
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,995
Death Valley!

314
00:14:26,952 --> 00:14:28,345
We'll be gone for three weeks.

315
00:14:28,388 --> 00:14:30,173
Three weeks?

316
00:14:30,216 --> 00:14:32,349
You're both growing up so fast.

317
00:14:32,392 --> 00:14:33,959
Soon, you'll move out,

318
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,569
and it'll be nice
to have a memory

319
00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:36,919
we could look back upon.

320
00:14:36,962 --> 00:14:39,617
No matter how terrible.

321
00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:41,314
Ooh, like prom night.

322
00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:43,055
(up-tempo music continues)

323
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:48,582
<i>♫ This family
'Bout to go global ♫</i>

324
00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:50,541
(horn blares)

325
00:14:50,584 --> 00:14:52,978
I can't believe the boss
made me bring backup.

326
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:54,849
No offense, I just
really don't see

327
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,416
what you bring to the table.

328
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:57,374
(growls)

329
00:14:57,417 --> 00:14:59,028
All I know is,

330
00:14:59,071 --> 00:15:01,552
if we don't get that girl and
bring her back to Sausalito,

331
00:15:01,595 --> 00:15:03,032
we'll both be fired.

332
00:15:03,075 --> 00:15:04,250
(growls)

333
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,818
Oh, ugh. Mint?

334
00:15:06,861 --> 00:15:08,428
You know what? Take 'em all.

335
00:15:11,779 --> 00:15:13,781
(up-tempo music continues)

336
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:24,009
<i>♫ This family
'Bout to go global ♫</i>

337
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:29,972
(eerie vocalizing)

338
00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:34,367
(continues vocalizing)

339
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:35,978
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
And then it goes...

340
00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:38,893
(vocalizing in deep voice)

341
00:15:41,809 --> 00:15:43,986
Anyway, it's not finished yet,

342
00:15:44,029 --> 00:15:46,379
but it's my best rock opera yet.

343
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:48,816
I'm calling it Rocktapus.

344
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,383
I wrote it in the bath.

345
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:53,212
I've been taking a
lot of baths recently.

346
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,561
You know, I think it's...

347
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,041
(bell dings)

348
00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:57,042
(Fester gasps)

349
00:15:58,565 --> 00:16:02,004
All that beautiful
water! (echoes)

350
00:16:03,309 --> 00:16:05,007
Forget Salem! We
know how it turned out.

351
00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:06,399
Change of plans.

352
00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:07,444
(tires screeching)

353
00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:26,245
Thing, how did this happen?

354
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,855
We were supposed to be in Salem.

355
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:31,859
Ah, don't be mad, brother.

356
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:34,471
Niagara Falls is the
great Wonder of the World

357
00:16:34,514 --> 00:16:36,995
and kills the most tourists

358
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,911
with its powerful, seductive

359
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:42,696
water. (echoes)

360
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,568
(water bubbling)

361
00:16:44,611 --> 00:16:46,874
(Gomez muffled) Fester? Fester?

362
00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:48,746
-(muffling stops) Hey, Fester.
-(shaking wetly)

363
00:16:48,789 --> 00:16:50,008
Are you feeling all right?

364
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:52,619
You're not your
usual creepy self.

365
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:53,881
Not especially.

366
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:55,361
Will you take a look at this?

367
00:16:55,405 --> 00:16:57,363
-Does this seem off to you?
-(sniffing)

368
00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:58,756
It smells okay,

369
00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:00,540
but make sure to
put it in the fridge.

370
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:02,107
Seafood turns very quickly.

371
00:17:04,544 --> 00:17:06,068
Having fun?

372
00:17:06,111 --> 00:17:10,246
I'm staring at Canada, if
that answers your question.

373
00:17:10,289 --> 00:17:11,986
I'm sorry, Wednesday.

374
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,597
I know how much
you wanted to see

375
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,078
where girls your age
were burned at the stake.

376
00:17:16,121 --> 00:17:17,253
What did you call them again?

377
00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:20,169
Squad goals.

378
00:17:20,212 --> 00:17:22,301
What do you say we
do a little exploring?

379
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:23,389
Just us.

380
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,478
I saw a vintage store in town.

381
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:28,742
Maybe it's time for you to
try out a more mature look.

382
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:32,920
The little black dress
is a classic, Mother.

383
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,618
There's my little holy terror.

384
00:17:34,661 --> 00:17:36,010
(groans)

385
00:17:36,054 --> 00:17:38,404
You know how I feel
about hugs, Father.

386
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:40,145
(gasps, chuckles)

387
00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:45,281
Did you know dozens of
people tried to go over these falls

388
00:17:45,324 --> 00:17:46,760
in wooden barrels?

389
00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:48,327
Does anyone survive?

390
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:50,895
Some do. Some don't.

391
00:17:50,938 --> 00:17:54,725
I hear it's a barrel of fun.

392
00:17:54,768 --> 00:17:56,727
-(laughs)
-<font color="

393
00:17:56,770 --> 00:18:00,165
Pugsley, have you ever
worn a coat of live bees?

394
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:02,646
(girl laughs) OMG.

395
00:18:02,689 --> 00:18:04,735
I should totes take a
selfie of this moment.

396
00:18:04,778 --> 00:18:06,128
(camera clicking)

397
00:18:06,171 --> 00:18:09,000
Ah! This is the
perfect opportunity

398
00:18:09,043 --> 00:18:10,915
to try out the moves in my book.

399
00:18:10,958 --> 00:18:12,221
The key with women

400
00:18:12,264 --> 00:18:14,788
is to make a strong
first impression.

401
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,355
You mean like a bad smell?

402
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:17,965
Well, that goes without saying.

403
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:21,752
What I mean is, it's
important to make a big splash.

404
00:18:21,795 --> 00:18:23,319
Are you with me, kid?

405
00:18:26,365 --> 00:18:27,453
-(grunts)
-(girls gasp)

406
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:28,672
-Huh?
-<b>PUGSLEY</b>: Ouch!

407
00:18:28,715 --> 00:18:30,630
I just skinned my knee

408
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:32,502
falling for you.

409
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,591
(both laughing)

410
00:18:34,634 --> 00:18:36,636
That's so corny.

411
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,422
Ugh. Did you get
that from a book?

412
00:18:39,465 --> 00:18:40,684
-Uh-oh. Uh...
-(girls laughing)

413
00:18:40,727 --> 00:18:42,990
Leave this to me.

414
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:45,558
Excuse me, vacuous lemmings.

415
00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:49,780
(gasps) Oh, come on.

416
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:55,177
-<font color="
♫</i> -(Pugsley whimpering)

417
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,922
<i>♫ Pack it up, pack
it in Let me begin ♫</i>

418
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:04,490
<i>♫ I came to win
Battle me, that's a sin ♫</i>

419
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,405
<i>♫ I won't ever slack up
Punk, you better back up ♫</i>

420
00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:07,972
<i>♫ Try and play
the role And, yo ♫</i>

421
00:19:08,015 --> 00:19:09,408
-<i>♫ The whole crew'll act
up ♫</i></font> -<font color="

422
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:10,888
<i>♫ I came to get down
I came to get down ♫</i>

423
00:19:10,931 --> 00:19:12,063
<i>♫ So get out your
seat And jump around ♫</i>

424
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,326
-<i>♫ Jump around! ♫</i> -(grunting)

425
00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:17,024
Stop! No! (groaning)

426
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:18,200
<i>♫  Jump around!  ♫</i>

427
00:19:18,243 --> 00:19:19,549
(all laughing)

428
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,029
<font color="
up And get down! ♫</i>

429
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:24,031
<i>♫  Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!  ♫</i>

430
00:19:24,075 --> 00:19:26,947
<i>♫ Everybody jump!
Jump! Jump! Jump! ♫</i>

431
00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:28,079
<i>♫  Everybody jump!  ♫</i>

432
00:19:28,122 --> 00:19:30,255
(screaming)

433
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:37,958
Madison, would you do me
the honor of becoming my wife?

434
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,395
-(Pugsley screaming)
-(Madison gasps)

435
00:19:39,438 --> 00:19:41,832
<font color="

436
00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:43,268
Is that a maybe?

437
00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:44,835
(screaming)

438
00:19:44,878 --> 00:19:46,793
(grunts, screaming)

439
00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:51,145
(whimpering)

440
00:19:51,189 --> 00:19:53,409
-(screaming)
-(crowd gasps)

441
00:19:55,149 --> 00:19:57,239
(grunts, screaming)

442
00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:00,546
(all exclaim)

443
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,940
Right in the Niagara balls!

444
00:20:02,983 --> 00:20:04,376
(muffled groaning)

445
00:20:05,725 --> 00:20:07,466
(yelps)

446
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,338
<font color="
is renting barrels.

447
00:20:09,381 --> 00:20:12,210
I had to buy 300
pickles just to get these.

448
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:13,690
<b>MR. MUSTELA</b>: You go
that way. I'll look over here.

449
00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:14,604
Gomez, look.

450
00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:17,563
Isn't that the weaselly man

451
00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:19,652
who came to the house
looking for Wednesday?

452
00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:22,829
Well, I have to admit, I
admire the man's tenacity.

453
00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:24,091
Wednesday, let's try

454
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:26,659
a little family
trust-building exercise.

455
00:20:26,703 --> 00:20:28,922
-I don't believe in exercise.
-<b>GOMEZ</b>: Sorry!

456
00:20:29,836 --> 00:20:30,750
<font color="

457
00:20:31,577 --> 00:20:32,274
(yelps)

458
00:20:33,753 --> 00:20:34,972
(growls)

459
00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:41,152
Excelsior!Whoo-hoo-hoo!

460
00:20:42,762 --> 00:20:44,286
-(groans) -Hey,
hey, wait for me!

461
00:20:44,329 --> 00:20:46,288
I wanna go in the water too!

462
00:20:46,331 --> 00:20:47,941
(both grunting)

463
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:49,073
(both yelling)

464
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:53,991
(bird squawks)

465
00:20:54,034 --> 00:20:56,385
<b>MR. MUSTELA</b>: Help! Pongo!

466
00:20:56,428 --> 00:20:58,387
Guess that takes care of that.

467
00:20:59,213 --> 00:21:00,824
Hey, where's Pugsley?

468
00:21:00,867 --> 00:21:02,216
(water bubbles)

469
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:04,697
Well, look at this, a
tiny floating person.

470
00:21:04,741 --> 00:21:06,177
-(doll squeaks)
-(muffled groan)

471
00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:07,657
Oh! There he is.

472
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:09,876
(gasps, coughing)

473
00:21:11,356 --> 00:21:13,837
How great was that, Wednesday?

474
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,708
And we both survived.

475
00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:17,971
Another thing we have in common.

476
00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:20,322
Okay, what's going on?

477
00:21:20,365 --> 00:21:21,627
<b>MORTICIA</b>: Whatever do you mean?

478
00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:22,976
Father.

479
00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:25,501
His erratic behavior.

480
00:21:25,544 --> 00:21:27,851
This last-minute family
trip to make memories.

481
00:21:27,894 --> 00:21:29,331
Giving hugs.

482
00:21:29,374 --> 00:21:30,723
It's torture.

483
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:32,029
And not the fun kind,

484
00:21:32,072 --> 00:21:35,075
like putting leeches
in Pugsley's briefs.

485
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,774
Anyway, I'm quite
sure he's dying.

486
00:21:37,817 --> 00:21:39,384
-What?
-Don't worry.

487
00:21:39,428 --> 00:21:40,820
I won't tell Pugsley.

488
00:21:40,864 --> 00:21:41,995
Not yet.

489
00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:44,128
He'll enjoy the surprise.

490
00:21:44,171 --> 00:21:48,654
But if you're afraid to ask my
permission to take a new lover,

491
00:21:48,698 --> 00:21:50,264
just know you have it.

492
00:21:50,308 --> 00:21:52,266
-(Fester chittering)
-(Pugsley sighs tiredly)

493
00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:55,226
<font color="
Monster" playing ♫</i>

494
00:21:58,838 --> 00:22:01,537
<i>♫ Mommy's little monster
Dropped out of school ♫</i>

495
00:22:01,580 --> 00:22:04,627
(Pugsley groans) Ouch!
Mom, tell her to stop!

496
00:22:04,670 --> 00:22:06,629
<b>MORTICIA</b>: Please,
darlings, quiet down.

497
00:22:06,672 --> 00:22:08,413
I'm trying to find a signal.

498
00:22:09,675 --> 00:22:11,634
-(Pugsley yelps)
-(growls)

499
00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:14,027
<b>PUGSLEY</b>: Ow!

500
00:22:14,071 --> 00:22:15,551
-Mom, help!
-<font color="

501
00:22:15,594 --> 00:22:17,640
Gomez, have you heard
from your mother yet?

502
00:22:17,683 --> 00:22:19,642
She's not answering my texts.

503
00:22:19,685 --> 00:22:21,818
Oh, she's probably
having an early night.

504
00:22:21,861 --> 00:22:25,822
The woman is almost
102 years old, after all.

505
00:22:25,865 --> 00:22:27,824
-<i>♫ Let's rock this
party ♫</i> -Whoo! (laughs)

506
00:22:27,867 --> 00:22:29,391
-(dance music playing)
-<i>♫ Come on now ♫</i>

507
00:22:29,434 --> 00:22:31,958
<i>♫  Let's rock this
party, yeah  ♫</i>

508
00:22:32,698 --> 00:22:33,917
Whoo-hoo!

509
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,440
-(laughing) -We're
here for the party!

510
00:22:36,049 --> 00:22:37,573
Whoop-la!

511
00:22:37,616 --> 00:22:38,661
Tickets, please!

512
00:22:38,704 --> 00:22:42,142
Wow, this place is a whole mood.

513
00:22:42,186 --> 00:22:45,581
Well, if you're in
the mood to party,

514
00:22:45,624 --> 00:22:47,452
step right this way.

515
00:22:47,496 --> 00:22:50,020
Whoa! This plant totes slaps!

516
00:22:50,063 --> 00:22:53,066
No, darling, she snaps.

517
00:22:53,110 --> 00:22:55,025
-(both shriek) -Oh,
don't worry, don't worry.

518
00:22:55,068 --> 00:22:57,027
She's on a vegan diet.

519
00:22:57,070 --> 00:23:00,900
In that she only eats
vegans. (laughing)

520
00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,336
And who's the headliner?

521
00:23:02,380 --> 00:23:04,991
Uh... Uh... The Talking Heads.

522
00:23:05,035 --> 00:23:05,992
For reals?

523
00:23:06,036 --> 00:23:07,254
Uh, yeah, yeah.

524
00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:08,691
Uh, they're right over there.

525
00:23:08,734 --> 00:23:10,083
<i>♫  You 'bout that lifestyle  ♫</i>

526
00:23:10,127 --> 00:23:11,476
<i>♫  Lifestyle  ♫</i>

527
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,173
-<i>♫ Everybody knows
♫</i> -(head beatboxing)

528
00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:16,481
<i>♫ Diamonds ain't got
nothin' On you, ooh, ooh ♫</i>

529
00:23:16,525 --> 00:23:17,917
<i>♫  We 'bout that lifestyle  ♫</i>

530
00:23:17,961 --> 00:23:20,050
Um... I didn't pay $500 to
watch a bunch of puppets.

531
00:23:20,093 --> 00:23:21,486
What?

532
00:23:21,530 --> 00:23:23,314
Do you know how
hard it is to decapitate

533
00:23:23,357 --> 00:23:24,968
an entire barber shop quartet?

534
00:23:25,011 --> 00:23:26,970
(all gasp)

535
00:23:27,013 --> 00:23:29,233
Ew! Refund, please.

536
00:23:29,276 --> 00:23:30,452
No, no, no. (chuckles)

537
00:23:30,495 --> 00:23:31,931
Let's not be hasty.

538
00:23:31,975 --> 00:23:34,412
(sputters) I was just joking.

539
00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,022
I don't want to
ruin the surprise.

540
00:23:36,066 --> 00:23:38,024
And... And trust me,

541
00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:41,332
the headliner will make
serious headlines. (chuckles)

542
00:23:41,375 --> 00:23:42,855
(heads) <i>♫ You
'bout that lifestyle ♫</i></font>

543
00:23:42,899 --> 00:23:44,553
-(groans) -<i>♫
Lifestyle, lifestyle ♫</i>

544
00:23:44,596 --> 00:23:45,554
<i>♫  Lifestyle  ♫</i>

545
00:23:46,511 --> 00:23:48,687
(owl hooting)

546
00:23:51,516 --> 00:23:53,387
<b>GOMEZ</b>: It was the dead of night.

547
00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:58,871
-The witching hour.
-(disembodied cackling)

548
00:23:58,915 --> 00:24:00,482
The wolf howled.

549
00:24:00,525 --> 00:24:01,744
(howling)

550
00:24:03,789 --> 00:24:06,923
And then she heard a
scratching at the door.

551
00:24:06,966 --> 00:24:08,577
Scratch,

552
00:24:08,620 --> 00:24:10,100
scratch,

553
00:24:10,143 --> 00:24:12,232
scratch.

554
00:24:12,276 --> 00:24:15,584
She slowly opened it to reveal

555
00:24:16,149 --> 00:24:17,977
a puppy!

556
00:24:18,021 --> 00:24:20,284
-(gasps)
-And around its neck

557
00:24:20,327 --> 00:24:21,546
was a bow!

558
00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:22,808
(screams)

559
00:24:22,852 --> 00:24:25,898
-Mm. Gomez.
-(laughing)

560
00:24:25,942 --> 00:24:28,553
You remember when I first
told you that one, Pugsley?

561
00:24:28,597 --> 00:24:30,773
You must've been two months old.

562
00:24:30,816 --> 00:24:34,385
Oh, you'd scream and
scream until you wet yourself.

563
00:24:34,428 --> 00:24:36,561
Some things never change.

564
00:24:38,607 --> 00:24:40,391
She's not back yet.

565
00:24:40,434 --> 00:24:42,001
She said she wanted to be alone,

566
00:24:42,045 --> 00:24:44,134
but how long does that take?

567
00:24:44,177 --> 00:24:45,831
-<font color="
-There she is.

568
00:24:45,875 --> 00:24:47,920
How did it go out
there, Wednesday?

569
00:24:47,964 --> 00:24:49,531
<b>GOMEZ</b>: Did Kitty
do his business?

570
00:24:49,574 --> 00:24:50,532
Indeed.

571
00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:54,013
-(Pugsley groans) Ew!
-Come, come. Join us.

572
00:24:54,057 --> 00:24:56,625
We were just telling stories
of when Pugsley was born.

573
00:24:56,668 --> 00:24:58,931
He kept us up all night,
howling. (chuckles)

574
00:24:58,975 --> 00:25:00,759
Wednesday, you
were the opposite.

575
00:25:00,803 --> 00:25:02,065
I've never heard of a baby

576
00:25:02,108 --> 00:25:04,371
being completely silent before.

577
00:25:04,415 --> 00:25:05,764
-<font color="
-Ah, yes,

578
00:25:05,808 --> 00:25:08,158
I remember the night
Wednesday was born.

579
00:25:08,201 --> 00:25:09,768
It was a Tuesday.

580
00:25:09,812 --> 00:25:12,728
All tucked in tight in
the hospital nursery.

581
00:25:12,771 --> 00:25:15,426
She was silent as a jellyfish.

582
00:25:15,469 --> 00:25:18,429
Even when all the other
little babies started bawling.

583
00:25:18,472 --> 00:25:20,387
(chuckles) What do you mean?

584
00:25:20,431 --> 00:25:22,825
Oh, I never told you this story?

585
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,742
Start talking.

586
00:25:26,785 --> 00:25:28,395
<b>FESTER</b>: Well, I was
looking for a bathroom

587
00:25:28,439 --> 00:25:31,007
because I'd eaten all
of the patients' pudding

588
00:25:31,050 --> 00:25:32,922
that they left behind,

589
00:25:32,965 --> 00:25:35,794
when I took a wrong turn
into the hospital nursery.

590
00:25:38,101 --> 00:25:39,929
-(music playing on speakers)
-<i>♫ I'd tip my hat to you ♫</i>

591
00:25:39,972 --> 00:25:41,887
-<i>♫ I'd do just that
♫</i> -(babies wailing)

592
00:25:41,931 --> 00:25:42,758
(music stops)

593
00:25:44,673 --> 00:25:46,588
<b>FESTER</b>: And that's
when I spotted her.

594
00:25:50,243 --> 00:25:53,638
I just wanted to get a
better look at my new niece.

595
00:25:53,682 --> 00:25:55,640
But a bunch of
the babies started

596
00:25:55,684 --> 00:25:57,250
wailing their heads off.

597
00:25:57,294 --> 00:26:01,080
So, I remembered the age-old
Addams family nursery trick.

598
00:26:01,864 --> 00:26:04,040
(Fester grunting)

599
00:26:05,737 --> 00:26:07,521
(babies continue wailing)

600
00:26:08,653 --> 00:26:09,611
(grunts)

601
00:26:13,136 --> 00:26:15,399
And sure enough,
they all fell asleep.

602
00:26:15,442 --> 00:26:17,662
(coos)

603
00:26:17,706 --> 00:26:20,230
And I put all the babies
back where I found them.

604
00:26:21,448 --> 00:26:22,536
I think.

605
00:26:24,713 --> 00:26:26,236
-Pretty sure.
-(grunts)

606
00:26:27,498 --> 00:26:28,630
(chuckles)

607
00:26:30,501 --> 00:26:32,459
-Kitty needs a walk.
-Right away.

608
00:26:32,503 --> 00:26:33,547
<b>WEDNESDAY</b>: But I just walked--

609
00:26:33,591 --> 00:26:36,159
<b>MORTICIA</b>: Fester,
you're in charge.

610
00:26:36,202 --> 00:26:38,814
<b>FESTER</b>: I wonder if I
could juggle actual children.

611
00:26:38,857 --> 00:26:41,120
Wednesday, Pugsley,
bring it in, let's find out.

612
00:26:41,164 --> 00:26:43,079
You never know until you try.

613
00:26:43,122 --> 00:26:44,297
-(Pugsley laughing)
-And if one of you

614
00:26:44,341 --> 00:26:46,386
falls on your head,
well, lesson learned.

615
00:26:46,430 --> 00:26:49,868
Hard to believe women don't
want to talk to either of you.

616
00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:54,612
<b>MORTICIA</b>: Gomez, what if
what that lawyer said is true?

617
00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:57,093
These people are
not going to give up.

618
00:26:57,136 --> 00:27:00,096
They'll keep coming
until they take her away.

619
00:27:00,139 --> 00:27:01,358
Let him come!

620
00:27:01,401 --> 00:27:04,013
They shall know us
by our trail of dead.

621
00:27:04,056 --> 00:27:06,929
<b>MORTICIA</b>: Ugh. That's
your answer to everything.

622
00:27:06,972 --> 00:27:08,800
(sighs) I only wish

623
00:27:08,844 --> 00:27:10,933
I did have the
answer for it, querida.

624
00:27:13,805 --> 00:27:14,893
(gasps)

625
00:27:14,937 --> 00:27:17,243
Tish! That's it.

626
00:27:17,287 --> 00:27:20,333
I may not have the answer,
but I know someone who will.

627
00:27:20,377 --> 00:27:22,031
<b>MORTICIA</b>: I hope so.

628
00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:24,729
Whatever we do, we can't
let Wednesday find out

629
00:27:24,773 --> 00:27:26,688
she might not be our daughter.

630
00:27:32,041 --> 00:27:33,825
Could it be true?

631
00:27:33,869 --> 00:27:37,873
Could I have been
misplaced in my infancy?

632
00:27:37,916 --> 00:27:41,093
Grown up with a delusion
that I am one person,

633
00:27:41,137 --> 00:27:46,751
when in fact, I am someone
completely different.

634
00:27:46,795 --> 00:27:51,843
Now this is the origin story
an innovator like me deserves.

635
00:27:51,887 --> 00:27:54,977
It would make a fascinating
first chapter in my memoir.

636
00:27:55,978 --> 00:27:57,066
Can you imagine?

637
00:27:57,544 --> 00:27:59,546
(gurgling)

638
00:28:02,027 --> 00:28:03,463
<b>GOMEZ</b>: Come on, kids!

639
00:28:03,507 --> 00:28:05,335
Up and Addams!

640
00:28:06,379 --> 00:28:08,991
Thing, head south.

641
00:28:09,034 --> 00:28:12,995
What we need is a little
old-fashioned Addams fun!

642
00:28:13,038 --> 00:28:14,431
Ha-ha!

643
00:28:14,474 --> 00:28:15,998
(thunder crashes)

644
00:28:23,179 --> 00:28:24,963
(man 1) I got it.
Oh! There we go.

645
00:28:25,007 --> 00:28:25,964
(man 2) Oh, dude!

646
00:28:27,879 --> 00:28:29,011
Hey, freak!

647
00:28:30,403 --> 00:28:31,883
-Pass it back!
-(chuckles)

648
00:28:32,405 --> 00:28:34,016
I'm not a freak.

649
00:28:35,974 --> 00:28:37,454
I'm a force of nature.

650
00:28:39,673 --> 00:28:41,458
Some force of nature.

651
00:28:41,501 --> 00:28:42,981
-So weak.
-(device hums)

652
00:28:44,591 --> 00:28:45,767
(gasps)

653
00:28:46,376 --> 00:28:48,160
Guys, you see this?

654
00:28:48,204 --> 00:28:50,032
-What's going on? what Is it?
-(Latin hip-hop music playing)

655
00:28:50,075 --> 00:28:51,468
(groans)

656
00:28:52,295 --> 00:28:57,648
(both groaning)

657
00:28:57,691 --> 00:28:59,911
<i>♫ I only hang with the family
'Cause nobody can handle me ♫</i>

658
00:28:59,955 --> 00:29:01,391
<i>♫ Try to act like I'm scary Because
I'm somethin' They never seen ♫</i></font>

659
00:29:01,434 --> 00:29:03,132
(Kitty grunts)

660
00:29:03,175 --> 00:29:04,873
<i>♫ My whole room like a
vanity I'm in love with myself ♫</i>

661
00:29:04,916 --> 00:29:06,744
<i>♫ But they can't touch me
When I'm feelin' myself ♫</i>

662
00:29:06,788 --> 00:29:09,007
(singing in Spanish)

663
00:29:19,452 --> 00:29:20,889
Oh, my.

664
00:29:20,932 --> 00:29:23,892
It looks like some
unfortunate soul

665
00:29:23,935 --> 00:29:27,634
has dropped a small
fortune in the sand.

666
00:29:27,678 --> 00:29:29,158
That's mine! (grunts)

667
00:29:32,814 --> 00:29:33,858
<font color="

668
00:29:35,381 --> 00:29:37,688
<i>♫ I've been around
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

669
00:29:37,731 --> 00:29:39,124
<i>♫ With other girls
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

670
00:29:39,168 --> 00:29:42,214
-Lame!
-(all laughing)

671
00:29:42,258 --> 00:29:45,957
(sighs) It looks like we
need to go over Chapter 3,

672
00:29:46,001 --> 00:29:48,699
"How to be Repulsive
and Impress Girls."

673
00:29:48,742 --> 00:29:49,918
I'll be right back.

674
00:29:49,961 --> 00:29:52,268
I gotta go use the bathroom.

675
00:29:52,311 --> 00:29:54,270
<i>♫ Wherever we are
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i></font>

676
00:29:54,313 --> 00:29:56,881
<i>♫ Feels like home
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

677
00:29:56,925 --> 00:29:59,710
<i>♫  Love that crazy baby  ♫</i>

678
00:29:59,753 --> 00:30:01,016
-(Lurch groans)
-<i>♫ Shake it ♫</i>

679
00:30:05,934 --> 00:30:07,892
(singing in Spanish)

680
00:30:10,939 --> 00:30:13,071
<i>♫ Wherever we are
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

681
00:30:13,115 --> 00:30:14,899
<i>♫ Feels like home
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

682
00:30:15,944 --> 00:30:16,988
<font color="

683
00:30:17,902 --> 00:30:19,338
(gasps, screams)

684
00:30:19,382 --> 00:30:20,209
Shark! Shark!

685
00:30:24,909 --> 00:30:26,868
(all screaming)

686
00:30:29,871 --> 00:30:31,481
(kids crying)

687
00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:34,963
(woman) Run for your lives!

688
00:30:40,098 --> 00:30:42,057
Hyah! See?

689
00:30:42,100 --> 00:30:44,842
Now that's how
you attract attention.

690
00:30:44,886 --> 00:30:46,626
(airhorn toots)

691
00:30:46,670 --> 00:30:48,715
(hip-hop music playing)

692
00:30:48,759 --> 00:30:51,544
Ah! There he is.

693
00:30:51,588 --> 00:30:54,156
The man we came to see.

694
00:31:00,553 --> 00:31:02,294
<font color="

695
00:31:03,817 --> 00:31:06,255
(hip-hop music continues)

696
00:31:06,298 --> 00:31:09,040
<i>♫ What do ladies say?
Ladies, what do ladies say? ♫</i>

697
00:31:09,084 --> 00:31:10,737
<i>♫  Ladies, what
do ladies say?  ♫</i>

698
00:31:10,781 --> 00:31:12,870
<i>♫ "Yeah, Dogg
We got your back" ♫</i>

699
00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:14,306
<i>♫  What my homies
say, homies?  ♫</i>

700
00:31:14,350 --> 00:31:15,525
<i>♫  Where the gangstas at?  ♫</i>

701
00:31:15,568 --> 00:31:17,222
<font color="

702
00:31:17,266 --> 00:31:19,529
<i>♫ "Yeah, Dogg
We got your back" ♫</i>

703
00:31:19,572 --> 00:31:22,662
<i>♫ We own it like we want
it We beat it till we beat it ♫</i>

704
00:31:22,706 --> 00:31:24,882
<i>♫ And only you can give it to
us 'Cause you know we need it ♫</i>

705
00:31:24,926 --> 00:31:26,318
<b>GOMEZ</b>: It!

706
00:31:26,362 --> 00:31:29,539
Good to see you, my
bewhiskered cousin.

707
00:31:29,582 --> 00:31:32,063
-You made it.
-(babbling)

708
00:31:32,107 --> 00:31:35,153
Mm. It's in Florida
for spring break.

709
00:31:35,197 --> 00:31:38,026
Ghouls Gone Wild,
am I right? (laughs)

710
00:31:38,069 --> 00:31:39,331
He's going to
join us on our trip.

711
00:31:39,375 --> 00:31:40,811
Hold on.

712
00:31:40,854 --> 00:31:42,856
He's coming in the camper?

713
00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:44,728
We're cramped enough as it is.

714
00:31:44,771 --> 00:31:46,730
And he sheds, Morticia.

715
00:31:46,773 --> 00:31:48,688
Oh, Fester, he's family.

716
00:31:48,732 --> 00:31:50,560
The more the hairier.

717
00:31:50,603 --> 00:31:53,302
<b>FESTER</b>: Well, if he's allowed
on the couch, then so am I!

718
00:31:55,391 --> 00:31:57,567
-(folk music playing)
-(snoring)

719
00:31:59,221 --> 00:32:01,136
-<font color="
-(Pugsley groans)

720
00:32:01,179 --> 00:32:02,398
(mumbling) No, no, no!

721
00:32:02,441 --> 00:32:03,877
I said cut the red wire.

722
00:32:04,356 --> 00:32:06,010
(grunts)

723
00:32:06,054 --> 00:32:09,405
I can't believe Taylor
Swift wants to date me.

724
00:32:09,448 --> 00:32:11,146
(chuckles) Me.

725
00:32:11,189 --> 00:32:12,930
Make sure to close the door

726
00:32:12,974 --> 00:32:16,629
when you go into
outer space. (groans)

727
00:32:16,673 --> 00:32:21,808
Yes, Beyonce, I would love
to share my ham with you.

728
00:32:21,852 --> 00:32:23,419
<font color="
a load of iron ore ♫</i>

729
00:32:23,462 --> 00:32:25,638
-<i>♫ 26,000 tons more
♫</i> -(moaning softly)

730
00:32:25,682 --> 00:32:28,554
<i>♫ Than the Edmund
Fitzgerald Weighed empty ♫</i>

731
00:32:31,688 --> 00:32:34,908
<i>♫ That good ship and true
Was a bone to be chewed ♫</i>

732
00:32:34,952 --> 00:32:38,825
(distorting) <i>♫ When the gales
Of November came early ♫</i></font>

733
00:32:41,132 --> 00:32:43,091
<i>♫  The ship was the pride  ♫</i>

734
00:32:43,134 --> 00:32:44,918
-<i>♫ Of the American
side ♫</i> -(car horn blares)

735
00:32:44,962 --> 00:32:47,573
<i>♫ Coming back from
some mill In Wisconsin ♫</i>

736
00:32:47,617 --> 00:32:49,271
(slurping)

737
00:32:49,314 --> 00:32:52,404
<i>♫ As the big freighters go
It was bigger than most ♫</i>

738
00:32:52,448 --> 00:32:54,102
-<font color="
One, two, three, go ♫</i>

739
00:32:54,145 --> 00:32:56,365
<i>♫  "Deleter" playing
on speakers  ♫</i>

740
00:32:58,323 --> 00:32:59,498
<i>♫  Yeah, yeah, yeah  ♫</i>

741
00:32:59,542 --> 00:33:02,458
<i>♫  No, no, no, no  ♫</i>

742
00:33:02,501 --> 00:33:05,504
(vocalizing)

743
00:33:05,548 --> 00:33:08,855
<i>♫ All this time I thought
you were a leader ♫</i>

744
00:33:08,899 --> 00:33:11,641
<i>♫ It turns out You're
only a deleter ♫</i></font>

745
00:33:13,730 --> 00:33:15,558
(It babbling)

746
00:33:15,601 --> 00:33:16,602
(It yelps)

747
00:33:17,081 --> 00:33:19,040
(retching)

748
00:33:21,825 --> 00:33:22,869
(gags)

749
00:33:23,827 --> 00:33:25,655
-(It babbling)
-(retches)

750
00:33:25,698 --> 00:33:27,657
Morticia, I told you so.

751
00:33:27,700 --> 00:33:29,485
There's hairballs everywhere.

752
00:33:29,528 --> 00:33:31,574
(It babbling)

753
00:33:31,617 --> 00:33:34,490
<b>FESTER</b>: Yeah, and
the same to you, fuzzface.

754
00:33:40,583 --> 00:33:42,672
<font color="

755
00:33:42,715 --> 00:33:44,500
How could you tell?

756
00:33:44,543 --> 00:33:46,719
(babbling)

757
00:33:51,376 --> 00:33:55,467
Did it ever bother you
that you were so different

758
00:33:55,511 --> 00:33:57,382
from the rest of the family?

759
00:33:57,426 --> 00:33:59,080
(babbling)

760
00:34:00,081 --> 00:34:01,691
A rebellious phase?

761
00:34:01,734 --> 00:34:03,519
(babbling)

762
00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:08,959
You shaved your entire
body as a teenager?

763
00:34:09,002 --> 00:34:10,091
(babbling)

764
00:34:12,876 --> 00:34:16,749
Oh. So that's what changed.

765
00:34:16,793 --> 00:34:18,708
You owned who you were.

766
00:34:19,361 --> 00:34:21,667
(babbling)

767
00:34:21,711 --> 00:34:23,800
That's the problem.

768
00:34:23,843 --> 00:34:25,584
I don't know who I am.

769
00:34:27,282 --> 00:34:28,326
(ringtone playing) <i>♫
Drop it like it's hot ♫</i>

770
00:34:28,370 --> 00:34:29,849
<i>♫  Drop it like it's hot  ♫</i>

771
00:34:29,893 --> 00:34:32,635
-(babbling) -<b>GRANDMA</b>:
Get over here ASAP.

772
00:34:32,678 --> 00:34:34,898
I went too far this time
and things are getting hairy!

773
00:34:34,941 --> 00:34:36,160
No offense.

774
00:34:44,951 --> 00:34:46,518
-Let's do this!
-(growls)

775
00:34:49,217 --> 00:34:50,174
-<font color="
Mustela screams)

776
00:34:53,786 --> 00:34:55,788
It's that lawyer, Gomez.

777
00:34:55,832 --> 00:34:57,225
He's found us again.

778
00:34:57,268 --> 00:34:59,009
He wants what we have.

779
00:34:59,052 --> 00:35:01,359
Well, he won't get her.

780
00:35:01,403 --> 00:35:02,795
-(Pugsley chomping)
-Good, Pugsley.

781
00:35:02,839 --> 00:35:04,580
Right this way.

782
00:35:06,408 --> 00:35:08,366
How about a fun
family travel game?

783
00:35:08,410 --> 00:35:09,715
Everyone around the table.

784
00:35:09,759 --> 00:35:10,977
<b>WEDNESDAY</b>: Ugh.

785
00:35:11,021 --> 00:35:12,936
-(engine revving)
-(Mr. Mustela yelping)

786
00:35:17,506 --> 00:35:19,986
<font color="

787
00:35:22,902 --> 00:35:23,947
-(yelps)
-(Pongo growls)

788
00:35:23,990 --> 00:35:26,036
(tires screeching)

789
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:28,212
(growls)

790
00:35:29,213 --> 00:35:30,867
(Mr. Mustela grunts)

791
00:35:30,910 --> 00:35:32,173
So, what shall we play?

792
00:35:34,392 --> 00:35:36,351
How about Punch Buggy?

793
00:35:36,394 --> 00:35:37,787
Punch...

794
00:35:38,831 --> 00:35:40,790
-(Mr. Mustela yelps)
-...buggy.

795
00:35:40,833 --> 00:35:42,574
(both grunting)

796
00:35:42,618 --> 00:35:43,401
(Mr. Mustela yelps)

797
00:35:45,751 --> 00:35:47,144
-<font color="
-(Pongo growls)

798
00:35:47,188 --> 00:35:48,711
(manure squelches)

799
00:35:48,754 --> 00:35:49,973
(cow moos)

800
00:35:53,933 --> 00:35:55,021
We need to step on it.

801
00:35:55,065 --> 00:35:56,588
And we'll need a place to hide.

802
00:35:56,632 --> 00:35:58,677
I have just the place, querida.

803
00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:01,898
-Thing, turn here.
-(tires screech)

804
00:36:02,768 --> 00:36:03,465
<b>FESTER</b>: Look out!

805
00:36:06,685 --> 00:36:08,034
(both yell)

806
00:36:08,078 --> 00:36:10,080
(horns blaring)

807
00:36:25,791 --> 00:36:27,793
You sure this is
the right place, Pop?

808
00:36:27,837 --> 00:36:29,273
Yes, son.

809
00:36:29,317 --> 00:36:32,494
The Alamo.

810
00:36:32,537 --> 00:36:36,324
You can sense that
many lives were lost here.

811
00:36:36,367 --> 00:36:39,283
Let us take a moment
to pay our respects.

812
00:36:42,460 --> 00:36:44,332
-(engine roaring)
-(horn beeps)

813
00:36:46,769 --> 00:36:48,553
(gasps) Okay. Enough respect.

814
00:36:48,597 --> 00:36:49,728
Everyone in!

815
00:36:57,823 --> 00:36:59,695
-(doorbell tinkles)
-(gasps)

816
00:36:59,738 --> 00:37:02,350
Look at y'all's costumes!

817
00:37:02,393 --> 00:37:03,829
(Lurch groaning)

818
00:37:03,873 --> 00:37:06,963
You guys are a little early
for the Halloween pageant.

819
00:37:07,006 --> 00:37:11,141
Today, we're on the hunt for our
next Little Miss Jalapeno Pepper.

820
00:37:11,184 --> 00:37:12,751
(country music
playing on speakers)

821
00:37:12,795 --> 00:37:13,970
(muffled knocking)

822
00:37:14,013 --> 00:37:15,276
<b>MR. MUSTELA</b>: Hello? Wednesday!

823
00:37:15,319 --> 00:37:16,929
-(Gomez gasps)
-Wednesday Addams!

824
00:37:16,973 --> 00:37:19,715
Are you in there? Hello?

825
00:37:19,758 --> 00:37:22,413
(in Southern accent)
Well, burn my biscuits.

826
00:37:22,457 --> 00:37:24,981
This here's our
little tumbleweed.

827
00:37:25,024 --> 00:37:27,679
And she's a-fixin'
to be the Lone Star

828
00:37:27,723 --> 00:37:30,160
-of this here rodeo!
-What?

829
00:37:30,203 --> 00:37:31,814
Well, in that case,

830
00:37:31,857 --> 00:37:34,773
we better get you
all gussied up, hon.

831
00:37:34,817 --> 00:37:37,950
Father, this will
not end well for you.

832
00:37:39,778 --> 00:37:41,476
-<b>MR. MUSTELA</b>: Wednesday!
-(knocking continues)

833
00:37:41,519 --> 00:37:44,087
-(Kitty growls) -(Mr.
Mustela exclaims)

834
00:37:44,130 --> 00:37:45,828
Gomez, what are you doing?

835
00:37:45,871 --> 00:37:48,483
(in normal voice)
Just follow my lead.

836
00:37:48,526 --> 00:37:51,181
<font color="
Howdy. We're oil tycoons.

837
00:37:51,224 --> 00:37:54,053
Oil tycoons? How can I... Eesh!

838
00:37:54,097 --> 00:37:56,012
We're a-fixin' to find ourselves

839
00:37:56,055 --> 00:37:59,363
some fancy new Texas threads.

840
00:37:59,407 --> 00:38:01,060
Will this be enough to cover it?

841
00:38:01,104 --> 00:38:02,932
(bell dings)

842
00:38:02,975 --> 00:38:04,760
-(gasps) Mm.
-(indistinct chatter)

843
00:38:04,803 --> 00:38:06,544
-(spray hissing)
-(girl 1 giggles)

844
00:38:06,588 --> 00:38:08,154
<font color="

845
00:38:08,198 --> 00:38:10,069
(woman) Now just
hold still, sweetie.

846
00:38:10,113 --> 00:38:11,332
(girl 2) Make it tighter.

847
00:38:12,811 --> 00:38:13,943
(girl 3) Hi.

848
00:38:13,986 --> 00:38:15,379
What's your talent?

849
00:38:15,423 --> 00:38:17,555
I can read minds.

850
00:38:17,599 --> 00:38:18,817
(scoffs) No, you can't.

851
00:38:20,210 --> 00:38:22,212
Yes, I can.

852
00:38:22,255 --> 00:38:23,996
(girl 3 gasps) This
isn't really happening.

853
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,955
It is really happening.

854
00:38:25,998 --> 00:38:27,522
(girl 3) Think of a
number. Uh, number seven.

855
00:38:27,565 --> 00:38:29,132
-Seven.
-(gasps)

856
00:38:29,175 --> 00:38:30,612
-Uh, purple.
-Purple.

857
00:38:30,655 --> 00:38:31,743
My worst nightmare.

858
00:38:31,787 --> 00:38:33,571
Hippopotamus riding a bicycle.

859
00:38:33,615 --> 00:38:34,964
What's your name?

860
00:38:35,007 --> 00:38:37,009
-Wednesday, what's yours?
-I don't wanna tell you.

861
00:38:38,271 --> 00:38:39,447
(in deep voice) Hello, Peggy.

862
00:38:39,925 --> 00:38:42,058
(screaming)

863
00:38:42,101 --> 00:38:43,276
(in normal voice) I know.

864
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:44,843
Just give me the trophy already.

865
00:38:48,978 --> 00:38:50,240
(audience murmuring)

866
00:38:53,722 --> 00:38:55,854
<font color="
neighing, giggles)

867
00:39:01,338 --> 00:39:04,123
I look like Uncle Sam
threw up all over me.

868
00:39:04,167 --> 00:39:06,822
Very good, Pugsley. Blend in.

869
00:39:06,865 --> 00:39:09,085
If you have to interact
with any of the locals,

870
00:39:09,128 --> 00:39:12,915
remember, they're more afraid
of you than you are of them.

871
00:39:12,958 --> 00:39:14,395
(gasps)

872
00:39:15,526 --> 00:39:16,614
(It babbles)

873
00:39:16,658 --> 00:39:18,573
-(boy shudders)
-Oh, my word!

874
00:39:24,448 --> 00:39:26,929
These are the perfect disguises.

875
00:39:26,972 --> 00:39:28,626
It's like we're
invisible. <font color="

876
00:39:30,062 --> 00:39:31,368
(audience applauding)

877
00:39:31,412 --> 00:39:33,762
(cheerful piano music playing)

878
00:39:37,287 --> 00:39:38,462
(Wednesday grunts)

879
00:39:40,203 --> 00:39:41,552
(breathing heavily)

880
00:39:43,989 --> 00:39:45,513
We're dead, Gomez.

881
00:39:47,515 --> 00:39:48,951
<i>♫  Are my ribbons tied?  ♫</i>

882
00:39:48,994 --> 00:39:51,736
-(Wednesday gasps)
-<i>♫ Is my hair in place? ♫</i>

883
00:39:51,780 --> 00:39:55,305
<font color="
expression On my face? ♫</i>

884
00:39:55,348 --> 00:39:57,307
<i>♫  Are my shoes all shined?  ♫</i>

885
00:39:57,350 --> 00:39:58,961
<i>♫  I try to keep in line  ♫</i>

886
00:39:59,004 --> 00:40:02,878
<i>♫ When I'm dancing
In the show tonight ♫</i>

887
00:40:02,921 --> 00:40:06,751
<i>♫ Does my shuffle-step
Really look so good? ♫</i>

888
00:40:06,795 --> 00:40:08,187
(Pongo growls)

889
00:40:08,231 --> 00:40:10,363
<i>♫ Am I doing it the way
You think I should? ♫</i></font>

890
00:40:10,407 --> 00:40:14,106
<i>♫ Would it be amiss
If I blew a kiss? ♫</i>

891
00:40:14,150 --> 00:40:17,806
<i>♫ When I'm dancing
In the show tonight ♫</i>

892
00:40:21,244 --> 00:40:25,901
Ah. The only girls I see
here are perfectly normal.

893
00:40:25,944 --> 00:40:29,774
<i>♫ Showtime now
Is getting nearer ♫</i>

894
00:40:29,818 --> 00:40:32,081
<i>♫  And I'm getting scared  ♫</i>

895
00:40:32,124 --> 00:40:33,648
(Wednesday yelps, grunts)

896
00:40:33,691 --> 00:40:37,434
<i>♫ Wish I could
see In the mirror ♫</i></font>

897
00:40:37,478 --> 00:40:40,698
-Ugh!
-<i>♫ If I'm all prepared ♫</i>

898
00:40:40,742 --> 00:40:42,874
<i>♫  First you take a step  ♫</i>

899
00:40:42,918 --> 00:40:45,007
-<i>♫ Then you point your
toe ♫</i> -(Wednesday grunting)

900
00:40:45,050 --> 00:40:48,489
<i>♫ Hope I know it Like
I did a week ago ♫</i>

901
00:40:48,532 --> 00:40:50,752
<i>♫  Am I standing straight?  ♫</i>

902
00:40:50,795 --> 00:40:52,188
<i>♫  I can hardly wait  ♫</i>

903
00:40:52,231 --> 00:40:54,538
<font color="
In the show tonight ♫</i>

904
00:40:57,323 --> 00:40:59,500
(girls screaming)

905
00:41:02,459 --> 00:41:04,505
(girls continue screaming)

906
00:41:07,290 --> 00:41:09,814
-Good! Very, very good!
-(Fester cheering)

907
00:41:09,858 --> 00:41:11,424
Hear, hear! Bella!

908
00:41:12,991 --> 00:41:14,297
There she is!

909
00:41:14,863 --> 00:41:15,994
(gasps)

910
00:41:16,038 --> 00:41:17,779
(in Southern accent) Hey, y'all!

911
00:41:17,822 --> 00:41:21,434
That man right there is one of
the top talent agents in the world!

912
00:41:21,478 --> 00:41:23,741
<font color="

913
00:41:23,785 --> 00:41:25,395
(Mr. Mustela yells and grunts)

914
00:41:25,438 --> 00:41:27,005
-(girl) What?
-(all screaming)

915
00:41:29,094 --> 00:41:30,966
(bell jingling)

916
00:41:31,009 --> 00:41:37,668
(drawn out) You rang?

917
00:41:39,061 --> 00:41:40,366
Quick, Lurch.

918
00:41:40,410 --> 00:41:42,020
-Grab Wednesday.
-(grunts)

919
00:41:45,763 --> 00:41:47,591
(people yelping)

920
00:41:53,902 --> 00:41:55,904
(imitates horse
neighing, giggles)

921
00:42:02,824 --> 00:42:03,955
<font color="

922
00:42:03,999 --> 00:42:05,043
Pongo!

923
00:42:08,569 --> 00:42:10,396
-(Fester grunting)
-(Pugsley yelps)

924
00:42:11,267 --> 00:42:12,442
<b>FESTER</b>: Hello. Hi.

925
00:42:12,485 --> 00:42:13,791
(tires screeching)

926
00:42:15,488 --> 00:42:17,795
(grunts) I'll find you,
Wednesday Addams!

927
00:42:23,975 --> 00:42:27,631
You have traumatized
me beyond all recognition.

928
00:42:27,675 --> 00:42:29,241
She looks the same to me.

929
00:42:29,285 --> 00:42:31,113
Who is that man?

930
00:42:31,156 --> 00:42:33,071
I know he's not a talent agent.

931
00:42:33,115 --> 00:42:35,596
He's the same man
who came to the house.

932
00:42:37,336 --> 00:42:39,338
You're right. (sighs)

933
00:42:39,382 --> 00:42:41,950
You're far too clever for us to
pull the wool over your eyes.

934
00:42:43,081 --> 00:42:44,648
That man

935
00:42:44,692 --> 00:42:47,477
-is a door-to-door salesman.
-Gomez.

936
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,392
And what is he selling?

937
00:42:49,435 --> 00:42:51,394
Uh... Tupperware?

938
00:42:51,437 --> 00:42:53,222
Knives? Makeup.

939
00:42:53,265 --> 00:42:55,050
Uh... Uh, frozen steaks.

940
00:42:55,093 --> 00:42:57,400
Life insurance for cows.

941
00:42:57,443 --> 00:42:58,619
Uh, they need it.

942
00:42:58,662 --> 00:43:01,404
The steak industry
is, oh, brutal.

943
00:43:02,971 --> 00:43:04,450
Okay.

944
00:43:04,494 --> 00:43:06,670
If that's the way
you want to play it.

945
00:43:06,714 --> 00:43:09,020
I'm going to go give
Pugsley a haircut.

946
00:43:09,064 --> 00:43:10,326
I think he's taking a nap.

947
00:43:11,283 --> 00:43:12,633
<font color="

948
00:43:13,851 --> 00:43:14,765
That was easy.

949
00:43:19,727 --> 00:43:21,642
<i>♫ "Lonesome Loser"
playing on speaker ♫</i>

950
00:43:21,685 --> 00:43:25,123
<i>♫  You can't run and hide  ♫</i>

951
00:43:25,167 --> 00:43:29,606
<i>♫ Have you heard About
the lonesome loser? ♫</i>

952
00:43:29,650 --> 00:43:33,741
<i>♫ Beaten by the queen
of hearts Every time ♫</i>

953
00:43:33,784 --> 00:43:36,657
(Lurch groans)

954
00:43:36,700 --> 00:43:39,572
I'm not sure
Wednesday believed us.

955
00:43:39,616 --> 00:43:42,227
I'm sure she would have
said something if she didn't.

956
00:43:42,271 --> 00:43:45,187
If there's one thing we can count
on Wednesday for, it's honesty.

957
00:43:45,230 --> 00:43:48,146
She certainly lets me know
when I'm embarrassing her

958
00:43:48,190 --> 00:43:49,408
or hovering

959
00:43:49,452 --> 00:43:51,628
-or being uncool.
-(metal clicks)

960
00:43:51,672 --> 00:43:54,762
(It babbling)

961
00:43:54,805 --> 00:43:57,329
Children are like
socks in the laundry?

962
00:43:57,373 --> 00:44:00,506
They need to be lost
in order to be found?

963
00:44:00,550 --> 00:44:01,899
That's brilliant!

964
00:44:01,943 --> 00:44:03,205
Yes.

965
00:44:03,248 --> 00:44:05,773
We should find a
place, lie low for a while,

966
00:44:05,816 --> 00:44:08,950
and this whole thing
will just blow over.

967
00:44:08,993 --> 00:44:10,908
Lurch, old boy, top it off.

968
00:44:10,952 --> 00:44:12,867
We have places to be.

969
00:44:12,910 --> 00:44:14,303
(song continues on speaker)

970
00:44:14,346 --> 00:44:16,566
(Lurch groaning)

971
00:44:16,609 --> 00:44:18,742
(truck driver screaming)

972
00:44:18,786 --> 00:44:20,788
(gasping)

973
00:44:40,633 --> 00:44:41,896
(blasting)

974
00:44:43,071 --> 00:44:45,116
(yawns and grunts)

975
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,118
Where's Kitty? He needs a walk.

976
00:44:47,162 --> 00:44:48,467
He's asleep.

977
00:44:48,511 --> 00:44:51,775
He and It hit the catnip
pretty hard last night.

978
00:44:51,819 --> 00:44:53,298
(hip-hop music
playing on speaker)</font>

979
00:44:53,342 --> 00:44:54,909
<i>♫ What chu need? I got
a hookup on the plug ♫</i>

980
00:44:56,301 --> 00:44:57,520
<b>FESTER</b>: Ooh!

981
00:44:59,217 --> 00:45:00,305
Uh-oh.

982
00:45:01,437 --> 00:45:03,134
Yeah, I finally got off diapers,

983
00:45:03,178 --> 00:45:04,788
so this is gonna happen.

984
00:45:04,832 --> 00:45:06,398
Gotta go clean myself up.

985
00:45:07,399 --> 00:45:08,574
-(people gasping)
-Pardon me.

986
00:45:08,618 --> 00:45:11,534
Gomez, have you noticed changes

987
00:45:11,577 --> 00:45:13,797
in Fester's body lately?

988
00:45:13,841 --> 00:45:15,799
Hmm. Puberty?

989
00:45:16,626 --> 00:45:18,106
(panting)

990
00:45:19,803 --> 00:45:20,848
(groans)

991
00:45:20,891 --> 00:45:22,763
<font color="

992
00:45:23,241 --> 00:45:24,416
(straining)

993
00:45:27,985 --> 00:45:29,117
Huh? (grunts)

994
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,205
Oh!

995
00:45:30,248 --> 00:45:31,772
(groans) Huh?

996
00:45:33,251 --> 00:45:34,557
Ow!

997
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:35,776
Oh!

998
00:45:36,428 --> 00:45:39,040
Huh? (screams)

999
00:45:39,083 --> 00:45:41,390
-(Fester grunting)
-(tentacles slapping)

1000
00:45:41,433 --> 00:45:44,436
<b>FESTER</b>: A little
privacy, please. (groans)

1001
00:45:49,267 --> 00:45:50,486
(Pugsley blows raspberry)

1002
00:45:50,529 --> 00:45:51,835
<font color="
look so grand to me.

1003
00:45:51,879 --> 00:45:53,228
(Wednesday sighs)

1004
00:45:53,271 --> 00:45:55,839
The sheer emptiness.

1005
00:45:55,883 --> 00:46:00,235
Cavernous abyss
of absolutely nothing.

1006
00:46:00,278 --> 00:46:01,758
The vertigo.

1007
00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:03,760
Intoxicating.

1008
00:46:03,804 --> 00:46:05,327
<b>GOMEZ</b>: It's just us,

1009
00:46:05,370 --> 00:46:09,418
the captivating beauty of
the great American outdoors

1010
00:46:09,461 --> 00:46:12,856
and the wonderful
sound of silence.

1011
00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:13,988
(jet whooshing)

1012
00:46:22,083 --> 00:46:23,911
Pugsley, what do I keep saying?

1013
00:46:23,954 --> 00:46:26,522
Amazon Prime is not a toy.

1014
00:46:27,828 --> 00:46:29,003
<font color="

1015
00:46:31,266 --> 00:46:33,050
(muffled hip-hop music playing)

1016
00:46:36,706 --> 00:46:39,709
(babbling)

1017
00:46:39,752 --> 00:46:42,146
<b>GOMEZ</b>: Oh, it's for you. Huh.

1018
00:46:42,190 --> 00:46:44,540
Well, do you really have
to leave us so soon, cousin?

1019
00:46:44,583 --> 00:46:45,933
Where are you headed?

1020
00:46:45,976 --> 00:46:48,239
(babbling)

1021
00:46:48,283 --> 00:46:51,590
I see. Top-secret gig.

1022
00:46:51,634 --> 00:46:55,072
Tell that Billie Eilish she's a
little too sunny for my taste.

1023
00:46:55,116 --> 00:46:56,944
But I'm still a fan.

1024
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,511
(It babbling)

1025
00:47:00,730 --> 00:47:02,036
<font color="

1026
00:47:03,951 --> 00:47:06,518
Why didn't I get
dating advice from him?

1027
00:47:06,562 --> 00:47:07,693
(It babbling)

1028
00:47:20,228 --> 00:47:21,794
I have something for you.

1029
00:47:25,755 --> 00:47:27,757
<b>WEDNESDAY</b>: A tiny coffin.

1030
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,847
I fear I shall have trouble
getting Pugsley in here.

1031
00:47:30,891 --> 00:47:32,414
(chuckles softly) No.

1032
00:47:32,457 --> 00:47:35,069
Open it.

1033
00:47:35,112 --> 00:47:37,898
Your grandmother gave me
this necklace on my wedding day.

1034
00:47:37,941 --> 00:47:39,725
It has been handed down

1035
00:47:39,769 --> 00:47:42,076
through generations
of Addams women.

1036
00:47:42,119 --> 00:47:44,730
It is a part of every Addams.

1037
00:47:44,774 --> 00:47:46,384
Just as you are.

1038
00:47:46,428 --> 00:47:49,561
(thunder rumbles)

1039
00:47:49,605 --> 00:47:51,520
Are you sure this belongs to me?

1040
00:47:52,434 --> 00:47:54,001
Of course, Wednesday.

1041
00:47:54,044 --> 00:47:55,959
Who else would it belong to?

1042
00:47:57,569 --> 00:47:59,049
Never mind.

1043
00:47:59,093 --> 00:48:00,964
Thanks for the trinket, Mother.

1044
00:48:02,444 --> 00:48:03,836
Fire in the hole!

1045
00:48:05,621 --> 00:48:06,622
(people screaming)

1046
00:48:10,191 --> 00:48:11,975
Madison, would you
do me the honor--

1047
00:48:32,648 --> 00:48:34,606
Now, that's grand.

1048
00:48:34,650 --> 00:48:36,608
What was it you were saying
about laying low, darling?

1049
00:48:37,174 --> 00:48:38,523
Hey!

1050
00:48:38,567 --> 00:48:41,483
No more personal
electronic devices on this trip.

1051
00:48:41,526 --> 00:48:43,702
Saddle up, Addams!

1052
00:48:43,746 --> 00:48:45,313
<font color="

1053
00:48:47,489 --> 00:48:48,229
(gasps)

1054
00:48:49,273 --> 00:48:51,972
(bats squeaking)

1055
00:49:06,551 --> 00:49:07,813
(sighs)

1056
00:49:07,857 --> 00:49:08,858
(twig snaps)

1057
00:49:09,728 --> 00:49:11,339
(yelps, screaming)

1058
00:49:12,862 --> 00:49:13,950
(groans)

1059
00:49:13,994 --> 00:49:15,647
(whimpering)

1060
00:49:18,650 --> 00:49:21,044
You scurried
fast, little weasel.

1061
00:49:21,088 --> 00:49:23,003
Please! Let me up!

1062
00:49:23,046 --> 00:49:25,396
Where's your comically
large companion?

1063
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:29,487
That big ape ran out
on me at the Alamo.

1064
00:49:29,531 --> 00:49:32,099
Please! I'll tell
you everything.

1065
00:49:32,142 --> 00:49:33,926
-(whimpers)
-I'm listening.

1066
00:49:33,970 --> 00:49:36,016
(ringtone playing) <i>♫
Who can it be now? ♫</i>

1067
00:49:36,059 --> 00:49:37,669
<b>MR. MUSTELA</b>: Oh!

1068
00:49:37,713 --> 00:49:40,281
<i>♫  Who can it be now?  ♫</i>

1069
00:49:40,324 --> 00:49:42,370
Mustela, have you
found the girl or...

1070
00:49:42,413 --> 00:49:43,762
Ah.

1071
00:49:43,806 --> 00:49:45,112
You got the drop on him.

1072
00:49:45,721 --> 00:49:47,636
Mr. Strange.

1073
00:49:47,679 --> 00:49:50,421
Please, call me Cyrus.

1074
00:49:50,465 --> 00:49:52,858
Mr. Strange will suffice.

1075
00:49:52,902 --> 00:49:54,556
What is this all about?

1076
00:49:54,599 --> 00:49:57,124
It's about you, Wednesday.

1077
00:49:57,167 --> 00:49:59,952
My wife and I were separated
from our true daughter

1078
00:49:59,996 --> 00:50:02,085
on the night of her birth.

1079
00:50:02,129 --> 00:50:04,740
I never gave up
trying to find her.

1080
00:50:04,783 --> 00:50:07,134
I searched and
searched for years,

1081
00:50:07,177 --> 00:50:10,093
and then, suddenly, there I was,

1082
00:50:10,137 --> 00:50:12,356
standing on that stage.

1083
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,054
Looking right at you.

1084
00:50:14,967 --> 00:50:16,360
In that moment,

1085
00:50:16,404 --> 00:50:20,582
I knew that you were
my long lost child.

1086
00:50:20,625 --> 00:50:22,105
The physical similarities.

1087
00:50:22,149 --> 00:50:25,065
The brilliant scientific mind.

1088
00:50:25,108 --> 00:50:27,284
I did some digging.

1089
00:50:27,328 --> 00:50:29,373
You were born at
the same hospital,

1090
00:50:29,417 --> 00:50:32,028
the same day as
the girl we've raised.

1091
00:50:32,072 --> 00:50:34,683
And as if meant to be,

1092
00:50:34,726 --> 00:50:36,946
your name, Wednesday,

1093
00:50:36,989 --> 00:50:39,340
is from my favorite poem.

1094
00:50:39,383 --> 00:50:40,950
"Wednesday's child is..."

1095
00:50:40,993 --> 00:50:43,170
"Full of woe."

1096
00:50:43,213 --> 00:50:45,346
I was named after that poem.

1097
00:50:45,389 --> 00:50:47,913
I live by it.

1098
00:50:47,957 --> 00:50:49,611
I think we owe it to ourselves

1099
00:50:49,654 --> 00:50:51,830
to get to the bottom
of this, Wednesday.

1100
00:50:51,874 --> 00:50:54,485
Why don't you come to my
home in Sausalito? We can...

1101
00:50:54,529 --> 00:50:56,661
Not so fast.

1102
00:50:56,705 --> 00:50:59,882
I have further research to
conduct to verify your claim.

1103
00:50:59,925 --> 00:51:01,405
Of course.

1104
00:51:01,449 --> 00:51:03,581
I would expect nothing less.

1105
00:51:03,625 --> 00:51:06,018
By the way, what did
you do with Mr. Mustela?

1106
00:51:06,628 --> 00:51:07,803
<font color="

1107
00:51:07,846 --> 00:51:09,152
-I let him go.
-(cell phone beeps)

1108
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,076
(growling softly)

1109
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:21,512
(wind whistling)

1110
00:51:27,431 --> 00:51:29,694
(Gomez snoring softly)

1111
00:51:38,355 --> 00:51:40,009
(Gomez chuckling, grunts)

1112
00:51:40,052 --> 00:51:41,141
(groans)

1113
00:51:44,579 --> 00:51:45,797
(grunts)

1114
00:51:48,844 --> 00:51:50,628
(moaning)

1115
00:51:50,672 --> 00:51:51,847
(grunts, coughs)

1116
00:51:51,890 --> 00:51:53,762
<font color="

1117
00:51:53,805 --> 00:51:55,546
(both grunting)

1118
00:51:56,678 --> 00:52:00,203
Tish. You minx.

1119
00:52:00,247 --> 00:52:01,552
(Gomez chuckles)

1120
00:52:05,687 --> 00:52:07,167
Let's settle this.

1121
00:52:45,117 --> 00:52:47,424
It's all true.

1122
00:52:49,209 --> 00:52:53,691
The facts before me prove
beyond a reasonable doubt

1123
00:52:53,735 --> 00:52:56,346
that I am not an Addams.

1124
00:52:56,390 --> 00:52:59,697
That means there's
only one logical choice.

1125
00:52:59,741 --> 00:53:01,308
Don't you agree?

1126
00:53:01,351 --> 00:53:02,657
(Lurch groans)

1127
00:53:08,576 --> 00:53:09,620
<b>MORTICIA</b>: Wednesday, dear.

1128
00:53:11,796 --> 00:53:13,624
Come along, sleepyhead.

1129
00:53:17,541 --> 00:53:19,413
Why, it's easier
to wake the dead

1130
00:53:19,456 --> 00:53:20,979
than to wake you, my little...

1131
00:53:21,023 --> 00:53:22,067
(muffled grunting)

1132
00:53:22,111 --> 00:53:23,286
(muffled) Hi, Mom.

1133
00:53:25,157 --> 00:53:26,333
<b>PUGSLEY</b>: "Dear Addams family,

1134
00:53:26,376 --> 00:53:27,725
As you may have noticed,

1135
00:53:27,769 --> 00:53:31,076
our family dynamic
has been off-base lately.

1136
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:32,948
I have been ruminating on

1137
00:53:32,991 --> 00:53:34,993
and questioning
the reason for this,

1138
00:53:35,037 --> 00:53:38,910
but a new revelation has
resolved this doubt for me.

1139
00:53:38,954 --> 00:53:40,085
I was the discordant note..."

1140
00:53:40,129 --> 00:53:41,217
<b>WEDNESDAY</b>: "I
was the discordant note

1141
00:53:41,261 --> 00:53:44,438
that can never
resolve into harmony.

1142
00:53:44,481 --> 00:53:47,179
And the reason I could
never truly relate to any of you

1143
00:53:47,832 --> 00:53:49,921
is simple.

1144
00:53:49,965 --> 00:53:52,489
I am not your relative.

1145
00:53:54,404 --> 00:53:57,755
I have no recourse
but to leave for good

1146
00:53:57,799 --> 00:54:01,803
and make my way
toward the truth.

1147
00:54:01,846 --> 00:54:03,848
Do not attempt to follow me."

1148
00:54:08,331 --> 00:54:09,376
Wait.

1149
00:54:09,419 --> 00:54:11,378
Wednesday's not an Addams?

1150
00:54:11,421 --> 00:54:13,945
I'm the only real Addams child?

1151
00:54:13,989 --> 00:54:15,382
That's awesome!

1152
00:54:15,425 --> 00:54:18,602
Too soon, Pugsley. Too soon.

1153
00:54:18,646 --> 00:54:20,125
-(cleaver thuds)
-What does she mean,

1154
00:54:20,169 --> 00:54:21,518
"making her way
toward the truth"?

1155
00:54:21,562 --> 00:54:23,564
Is this about the hospital thing

1156
00:54:23,607 --> 00:54:25,392
that was totally not a big deal?

1157
00:54:25,435 --> 00:54:27,611
-This is all my fault.
-(Pugsley gasps)

1158
00:54:27,655 --> 00:54:30,310
(sighs) If she had
just felt closer to me,

1159
00:54:30,353 --> 00:54:32,137
maybe this wouldn't
have happened.

1160
00:54:32,181 --> 00:54:34,183
Thing! I need a Bloody Mary.

1161
00:54:34,226 --> 00:54:35,402
Make it a double.

1162
00:54:35,445 --> 00:54:36,838
<b>FESTER</b>: He's in the shower.

1163
00:54:36,881 --> 00:54:39,797
<i>♫  La-di-di, la-di-da  ♫</i>

1164
00:54:39,841 --> 00:54:42,234
Don't forget to clean
behind your knuckles.

1165
00:54:51,331 --> 00:54:53,333
<font color="

1166
00:55:02,124 --> 00:55:04,953
<b>WEDNESDAY</b>: Lurch, I can see you.

1167
00:55:04,996 --> 00:55:06,781
(Lurch grunts softly)

1168
00:55:06,824 --> 00:55:09,174
Obviously, I have
failed in my duty

1169
00:55:09,218 --> 00:55:11,089
as your lurking advisor.

1170
00:55:11,133 --> 00:55:13,875
(Lurch groans)

1171
00:55:13,918 --> 00:55:17,226
I really don't know
how to answer that.

1172
00:55:17,269 --> 00:55:21,622
But what I do know is that you
should go back to your family.

1173
00:55:21,665 --> 00:55:24,625
It's time for me to find mine.

1174
00:55:24,668 --> 00:55:26,366
(groans lowly)

1175
00:55:27,018 --> 00:55:29,020
I guess that's true.

1176
00:55:29,064 --> 00:55:31,893
You're not an Addams either.

1177
00:55:31,936 --> 00:55:34,243
(sighs) How very sad that is.

1178
00:55:34,286 --> 00:55:35,984
(Lurch moans)

1179
00:55:36,027 --> 00:55:37,855
Much better, Lurch.

1180
00:55:37,899 --> 00:55:40,205
It appears I taught
you well, after all.

1181
00:55:42,947 --> 00:55:45,297
Like the Donner party before us,

1182
00:55:45,341 --> 00:55:49,345
we travel to California
to fulfil our destiny

1183
00:55:49,389 --> 00:55:52,827
and eat what we
must along the way.

1184
00:55:52,870 --> 00:55:57,005
Let us conquer the
Golden West or die trying.

1185
00:55:57,048 --> 00:55:58,789
Lurch,

1186
00:55:58,833 --> 00:56:00,574
-to Sausalito!
-(crows cawing)

1187
00:56:00,617 --> 00:56:02,880
Thing, to Sausalito!

1188
00:56:02,924 --> 00:56:04,882
If we leave now,
we can catch up.

1189
00:56:04,926 --> 00:56:07,711
Then we'll return home,
kidnap the necessary witnesses

1190
00:56:07,755 --> 00:56:09,626
and snuff out any
remaining doubt

1191
00:56:09,670 --> 00:56:11,411
that Wednesday is one of us.

1192
00:56:11,454 --> 00:56:13,064
I love it when

1193
00:56:13,108 --> 00:56:16,720
your murderous
maternal instincts kick in!

1194
00:56:16,764 --> 00:56:19,070
We're back in the
parenting business!

1195
00:56:19,114 --> 00:56:20,768
Come along, Addams.

1196
00:56:20,811 --> 00:56:22,813
Let's bring Wednesday
back to her family.

1197
00:56:26,904 --> 00:56:32,083
Ahem. Fester, your
tentacles are hanging out.

1198
00:56:32,127 --> 00:56:34,042
I thought I felt a draft.

1199
00:56:34,085 --> 00:56:35,478
Just don't kick 'em.

1200
00:56:35,522 --> 00:56:36,914
They're very sensitive.

1201
00:57:01,983 --> 00:57:02,679
(spider hisses)

1202
00:57:09,599 --> 00:57:12,515
<font color="
do sound like great options,

1203
00:57:12,559 --> 00:57:15,344
but which one is the
road to Sausalito?

1204
00:57:15,387 --> 00:57:17,651
<i>♫  "Ace of Spades" playing  ♫</i>

1205
00:57:19,043 --> 00:57:20,915
(engines roaring)

1206
00:57:30,228 --> 00:57:31,665
<i>♫  If you like to gamble  ♫</i>

1207
00:57:31,708 --> 00:57:33,797
<i>♫  I tell you I'm your man  ♫</i>

1208
00:57:33,841 --> 00:57:36,365
<i>♫ You win some, lose
some It's all the same to me ♫</i>

1209
00:57:36,408 --> 00:57:38,323
-<font color="
of my way, Hightower!

1210
00:57:40,456 --> 00:57:41,936
<i>♫  Seven or eleven  ♫</i>

1211
00:57:41,979 --> 00:57:43,633
<i>♫  Snake eyes watching you  ♫</i>

1212
00:57:45,374 --> 00:57:46,854
Look, Lurch.

1213
00:57:46,897 --> 00:57:50,858
Aggressive people who
use loud noises and fast rides

1214
00:57:50,901 --> 00:57:53,991
to distract themselves
from their childhood trauma.

1215
00:57:54,035 --> 00:57:55,515
Just what we need.

1216
00:57:55,558 --> 00:57:57,691
<i>♫  Take one look and die  ♫</i>

1217
00:57:57,734 --> 00:57:59,344
(bikers laughing)

1218
00:58:01,042 --> 00:58:02,783
<font color="

1219
00:58:02,826 --> 00:58:06,003
<i>♫ You know it's gonna
be The Ace of Spades ♫</i>

1220
00:58:06,047 --> 00:58:07,396
-(man chuckles) -<i>♫
The Ace of Spades ♫</i>

1221
00:58:10,007 --> 00:58:11,226
(man grunts)

1222
00:58:11,966 --> 00:58:13,533
(door creaking)

1223
00:58:15,447 --> 00:58:17,319
-(both grunt)
-(man) Hmm.

1224
00:58:17,928 --> 00:58:18,668
Huh?

1225
00:58:19,190 --> 00:58:20,191
(door shuts)

1226
00:58:25,936 --> 00:58:27,155
<font color="

1227
00:58:28,025 --> 00:58:29,679
<b>RONNY</b>: Hey!

1228
00:58:29,723 --> 00:58:33,378
Ain't you the guy that almost
ran my bike off the road?

1229
00:58:34,466 --> 00:58:36,947
And you must be Miss Lurleen?

1230
00:58:36,991 --> 00:58:38,949
(all gasp)

1231
00:58:38,993 --> 00:58:40,777
(growls)

1232
00:58:40,821 --> 00:58:42,257
Excuse me?

1233
00:58:43,650 --> 00:58:47,610
Ah. It seems I have
offended two people at once.

1234
00:58:47,654 --> 00:58:48,742
How fortuitous.

1235
00:58:49,830 --> 00:58:51,353
-(bikers) Huh?
-(Miss Lurleen sighs)

1236
00:58:51,396 --> 00:58:53,398
That was an insult too!

1237
00:58:53,442 --> 00:58:55,923
-<font color="
-(growls)

1238
00:58:55,966 --> 00:58:59,622
I'm afraid you gentlemen
have made a grave error.

1239
00:58:59,666 --> 00:59:02,103
Lurch, show these cretins

1240
00:59:02,146 --> 00:59:05,628
what your cold, dead
hands are capable of.

1241
00:59:05,672 --> 00:59:07,674
<b>LURCH</b>: Mm-hmm.

1242
00:59:11,286 --> 00:59:12,809
(piano playing)

1243
00:59:19,337 --> 00:59:20,817
(singing in high-pitched
voice) <i>♫ First i was afraid ♫</i>

1244
00:59:20,861 --> 00:59:22,689
<i>♫  I was petrified  ♫</i>

1245
00:59:22,732 --> 00:59:26,475
<font color="
Live without you by my side ♫</i>

1246
00:59:26,518 --> 00:59:28,303
I should've been more specific.

1247
00:59:28,346 --> 00:59:29,521
<b>LURCH</b>: <i>♫ But then I
spent so many nights ♫</i>

1248
00:59:29,565 --> 00:59:30,914
<i>♫ Thinking How
you did me wrong ♫</i>

1249
00:59:30,958 --> 00:59:32,786
<i>♫  And I grew strong  ♫</i>

1250
00:59:32,829 --> 00:59:35,832
<i>♫ And I learned
How to get along ♫</i>

1251
00:59:37,181 --> 00:59:39,662
(groans)

1252
00:59:39,706 --> 00:59:41,577
-<font color="

1253
00:59:41,621 --> 00:59:43,884
-(disco music playing)
-<i>♫ From outer space ♫</i>

1254
00:59:43,927 --> 00:59:46,060
<i>♫ I just walked in
To find you here ♫</i>

1255
00:59:46,103 --> 00:59:48,149
<i>♫ With that sad look
Upon your face ♫</i>

1256
00:59:48,192 --> 00:59:49,933
<i>♫ I should've changed
That stupid lock ♫</i>

1257
00:59:49,977 --> 00:59:52,675
<i>♫ I should've made
you Leave your key ♫</i></font>

1258
00:59:52,719 --> 00:59:54,503
<i>♫ If I'd known For
just one second ♫</i>

1259
00:59:54,546 --> 00:59:56,113
<i>♫  You'd be back to bother me  ♫</i>

1260
00:59:56,157 --> 00:59:58,246
<i>♫  Go on now, go  ♫</i>

1261
00:59:58,289 --> 01:00:00,248
<i>♫  Walk out the door  ♫</i>

1262
01:00:00,291 --> 01:00:02,250
<i>♫  Just turn around now  ♫</i>

1263
01:00:02,293 --> 01:00:03,686
<i>♫ 'Cause you're not
Welcome anymore ♫</i>

1264
01:00:05,514 --> 01:00:08,735
<i>♫ Weren't you the one who
tried To hurt me with goodbye? ♫</i></font>

1265
01:00:08,778 --> 01:00:10,867
<i>♫  Did you think I'd crumble?  ♫</i>

1266
01:00:10,911 --> 01:00:12,608
<i>♫ Did you think I'd
lay down and die? ♫</i>

1267
01:00:12,652 --> 01:00:14,523
<i>♫  Oh, no, not I  ♫</i>

1268
01:00:14,566 --> 01:00:16,830
<i>♫  I will survive  ♫</i>

1269
01:00:16,873 --> 01:00:19,528
<i>♫ Oh, as long as I
know How to love ♫</i>

1270
01:00:19,571 --> 01:00:21,399
<i>♫  I know I'll stay alive  ♫</i>

1271
01:00:21,443 --> 01:00:25,055
<font color="
I've got all my love to give ♫</i>

1272
01:00:25,099 --> 01:00:28,319
<i>♫ And I'll survive
I will survive ♫</i>

1273
01:00:28,363 --> 01:00:31,322
All I wanted was a
violent roadhouse melee

1274
01:00:31,366 --> 01:00:33,934
before hitching a
ride to Sausalito.

1275
01:00:33,977 --> 01:00:35,675
Was that too much to ask?

1276
01:00:36,110 --> 01:00:37,502
Sausalito?

1277
01:00:37,546 --> 01:00:39,374
That's exactly
where we're headed.

1278
01:00:39,417 --> 01:00:42,072
It's the annual
Hug-A-Biker retreat

1279
01:00:42,116 --> 01:00:44,640
where we deal with
our childhood trauma.

1280
01:00:44,684 --> 01:00:46,555
I am good.

1281
01:00:46,598 --> 01:00:49,340
(laughs) Bring
it in, little lady.

1282
01:00:49,384 --> 01:00:51,081
I accept your offer of a ride.

1283
01:00:51,125 --> 01:00:52,561
But if you don't mind,

1284
01:00:52,604 --> 01:00:55,172
I will respectfully
decline the hug.

1285
01:00:55,216 --> 01:00:57,740
I've been social
distancing since birth.

1286
01:00:57,784 --> 01:00:59,568
(laughs)

1287
01:00:59,611 --> 01:01:01,962
<i>♫  I will survive  ♫</i>

1288
01:01:02,005 --> 01:01:04,616
<i>♫ Oh, as long as I
know How to love ♫</i>

1289
01:01:04,660 --> 01:01:06,227
<i>♫  I know I'll stay alive  ♫</i>

1290
01:01:06,270 --> 01:01:08,316
<i>♫ I've got All my life to live ♫</i>

1291
01:01:08,359 --> 01:01:11,972
<i>♫ I've got all my love
to give And I'll survive ♫</i></font>

1292
01:01:12,015 --> 01:01:14,191
<i>♫  I will survive  ♫</i>

1293
01:01:14,235 --> 01:01:15,758
<i>♫  Hey, hey  ♫</i>

1294
01:01:17,542 --> 01:01:19,066
(disco music continues)

1295
01:01:30,251 --> 01:01:32,470
<i>♫  Hey, hey  ♫</i>

1296
01:01:32,514 --> 01:01:34,908
<i>♫  I will survive  ♫</i>

1297
01:01:34,951 --> 01:01:37,127
<i>♫ Oh, as long as I
know how to love... ♫</i>

1298
01:01:37,171 --> 01:01:38,868
Sayonara,little lady.

1299
01:01:40,130 --> 01:01:41,871
Whoo-hoo!

1300
01:01:52,839 --> 01:01:55,232
<b>WEDNESDAY</b>: It's
all Jekyll, no Hyde.

1301
01:01:57,495 --> 01:01:59,541
(doorbell blares distortedly)

1302
01:01:59,584 --> 01:02:02,196
I feel something, Lurch.

1303
01:02:02,239 --> 01:02:05,025
As though
anticipation and unease

1304
01:02:05,068 --> 01:02:08,811
birthed some kind of
winged larvae in my stomach.

1305
01:02:09,159 --> 01:02:10,378
(groans)

1306
01:02:10,421 --> 01:02:13,033
Butterflies? Hmm.

1307
01:02:13,076 --> 01:02:15,644
Perhaps my digestive
acids will kill them.

1308
01:02:16,297 --> 01:02:17,559
(door unlocks)

1309
01:02:17,602 --> 01:02:19,779
Wednesday! You're here!

1310
01:02:19,822 --> 01:02:21,737
Welcome home.

1311
01:02:21,781 --> 01:02:24,609
Oh. I see you
brought a plus-one.

1312
01:02:24,653 --> 01:02:26,089
(Lurch groans)

1313
01:02:26,133 --> 01:02:27,395
Which is... <font color="

1314
01:02:27,438 --> 01:02:28,744
fine. Perfectly fine.

1315
01:02:28,788 --> 01:02:30,572
Yes. (chuckles nervously)

1316
01:02:30,615 --> 01:02:32,182
(takes deep breath)

1317
01:02:32,226 --> 01:02:33,183
Right this way.

1318
01:02:37,405 --> 01:02:38,885
-(squawks)
-(yells)

1319
01:02:38,928 --> 01:02:40,321
(clears throat)

1320
01:02:40,364 --> 01:02:42,453
Wednesday, meet my wife.

1321
01:02:42,497 --> 01:02:44,194
Ingrid. (chuckles)

1322
01:02:44,238 --> 01:02:47,154
Uh, Ingrid has a
touch of laryngitis

1323
01:02:47,197 --> 01:02:48,677
and finds it difficult to talk
at the moment. <font color="

1324
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:50,287
(girl) Hello.

1325
01:02:50,331 --> 01:02:52,812
And this is Ophelia.

1326
01:02:52,855 --> 01:02:55,815
Or as we call
her, our little Oaf.

1327
01:02:56,685 --> 01:02:57,729
The other...

1328
01:02:58,252 --> 01:02:59,427
...me.

1329
01:03:00,732 --> 01:03:01,864
-(Ingrid squawks)
-Oh.

1330
01:03:01,908 --> 01:03:03,910
Uh, Ingrid, my dear,

1331
01:03:03,953 --> 01:03:06,086
why don't you rest for a while

1332
01:03:06,129 --> 01:03:08,697
and I'll show our little
Wednesday around.

1333
01:03:08,740 --> 01:03:10,568
Let's go see the laboratory.

1334
01:03:10,612 --> 01:03:12,614
-(Ingrid squawks)
-Don't look at them.

1335
01:03:12,657 --> 01:03:14,485
(door whirring)

1336
01:03:14,529 --> 01:03:16,139
Right this way.

1337
01:03:16,183 --> 01:03:17,880
(Muzak playing)

1338
01:03:22,798 --> 01:03:24,887
Welcome to the
future, Wednesday.

1339
01:03:24,931 --> 01:03:26,454
(computers trilling)

1340
01:03:26,497 --> 01:03:28,499
What do you think?

1341
01:03:28,543 --> 01:03:31,285
Pretty boss, huh?

1342
01:03:31,328 --> 01:03:32,852
<b>WEDNESDAY</b>: You've got
a lot of projects in the works.

1343
01:03:34,679 --> 01:03:35,985
Ready, Wednesday?

1344
01:03:36,856 --> 01:03:38,074
(grunts)

1345
01:03:39,946 --> 01:03:42,078
When I did this
DNA test with Ophelia

1346
01:03:42,122 --> 01:03:44,428
and it informed me that
she wasn't my daughter,

1347
01:03:44,472 --> 01:03:46,604
I was unsurprised.

1348
01:03:46,648 --> 01:03:49,520
Perhaps you can
relate to me on that.

1349
01:03:49,564 --> 01:03:51,348
<font color="
what I did there?

1350
01:03:51,392 --> 01:03:52,915
I did,

1351
01:03:52,959 --> 01:03:55,135
though I generally find puns
to be a lower form of humor.

1352
01:03:55,570 --> 01:03:56,832
Hmm.

1353
01:03:56,876 --> 01:04:00,314
My real passion
has always been...

1354
01:04:01,315 --> 01:04:03,273
human behavior.

1355
01:04:03,317 --> 01:04:04,057
(gasps)

1356
01:04:05,014 --> 01:04:07,930
What an incredible coincidence.

1357
01:04:07,974 --> 01:04:11,325
Exactly my thought when I
saw your winning experiment.

1358
01:04:11,368 --> 01:04:13,675
Although, if you think about it,

1359
01:04:13,718 --> 01:04:15,982
not so coincidental.

1360
01:04:16,025 --> 01:04:18,549
Like father, like
daughter. Am I right?

1361
01:04:18,593 --> 01:04:20,987
(laughs awkwardly)

1362
01:04:21,030 --> 01:04:23,293
We will find out shortly.

1363
01:04:23,337 --> 01:04:26,601
And when we receive
the inevitable confirmation,

1364
01:04:26,644 --> 01:04:29,734
I hope you'll reconsider
what you told me at the fair.

1365
01:04:29,778 --> 01:04:31,649
About how your formula

1366
01:04:31,693 --> 01:04:34,130
-was a family secret.
-(computer beeping)

1367
01:04:34,174 --> 01:04:36,393
(automated voice) DNA
sequencing complete.

1368
01:04:37,742 --> 01:04:40,180
DNA match.

1369
01:04:40,223 --> 01:04:42,486
Well, it's all settled.

1370
01:04:42,530 --> 01:04:43,574
Done and...

1371
01:04:43,618 --> 01:04:45,576
(brakes screech)

1372
01:04:45,620 --> 01:04:47,578
-(alarm beeping)
-Great.

1373
01:04:47,622 --> 01:04:49,363
It's my fa... Uh...

1374
01:04:50,277 --> 01:04:52,018
The Addams family.

1375
01:04:52,061 --> 01:04:54,846
<font color="
let's go greet them.

1376
01:04:58,850 --> 01:05:00,722
<b>FESTER</b>: You guys go ahead, I...

1377
01:05:01,636 --> 01:05:03,551
I'm gonna be going in, uh...

1378
01:05:04,204 --> 01:05:06,206
I may be some time.

1379
01:05:06,249 --> 01:05:07,729
-(thud)
-(squelching)

1380
01:05:13,778 --> 01:05:15,171
(doorbell rings dully)

1381
01:05:15,215 --> 01:05:16,172
(door beeps)

1382
01:05:17,608 --> 01:05:19,915
(drawn out) You

1383
01:05:19,959 --> 01:05:23,136
rang?

1384
01:05:23,179 --> 01:05:25,355
-Lurch.
-We're here to rescue Wednesday.

1385
01:05:25,399 --> 01:05:26,835
<font color="

1386
01:05:26,878 --> 01:05:28,010
(Ingrid squawks)

1387
01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:30,273
You!

1388
01:05:30,317 --> 01:05:32,972
Cyrus Strange.
Pleased to meet you.

1389
01:05:33,015 --> 01:05:35,409
You're the man
from the science fair.

1390
01:05:35,452 --> 01:05:37,150
The ghostly apparition.

1391
01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:40,588
Huh.

1392
01:05:40,631 --> 01:05:42,807
I see you've been reanimated.

1393
01:05:42,851 --> 01:05:45,027
And now, you've
absconded with our daughter

1394
01:05:45,071 --> 01:05:46,855
and put her in
this... (gags) In...

1395
01:05:46,898 --> 01:05:48,813
Wednesday, what are you wearing?

1396
01:05:48,857 --> 01:05:50,815
It's called a turtleneck.

1397
01:05:50,859 --> 01:05:52,687
Deceptive name, I know,

1398
01:05:52,730 --> 01:05:55,820
but it is both fashionable
and functional, M...

1399
01:05:56,691 --> 01:05:58,519
Um, Morticia.

1400
01:05:58,562 --> 01:06:01,130
-(gasps) -<b>CYRUS</b>:
Mr. and Mrs. Addams,

1401
01:06:01,174 --> 01:06:03,828
it appears that you are
not Wednesday's parents.

1402
01:06:03,872 --> 01:06:05,047
I am.

1403
01:06:05,091 --> 01:06:07,049
Enough, you knave!

1404
01:06:07,093 --> 01:06:10,661
Mr. Addams, before
you do anything rash,

1405
01:06:10,705 --> 01:06:13,055
you might want to see this.

1406
01:06:13,099 --> 01:06:16,058
The results conclusively prove

1407
01:06:16,102 --> 01:06:19,061
that I am not your daughter.

1408
01:06:20,106 --> 01:06:21,890
Where once I was Addams,

1409
01:06:22,673 --> 01:06:23,935
now I am Strange.

1410
01:06:24,806 --> 01:06:26,112
Zip it, Pugsley.

1411
01:06:26,155 --> 01:06:27,635
This can't be true.

1412
01:06:27,678 --> 01:06:30,333
<b>CYRUS</b>: I know this must
be quite a shock for you,

1413
01:06:30,377 --> 01:06:31,421
Mr. and Mrs. Addams.

1414
01:06:31,465 --> 01:06:32,727
Believe me,

1415
01:06:32,770 --> 01:06:36,122
we went through the
same thing with Ophelia.

1416
01:06:36,165 --> 01:06:37,819
(mud splashing)

1417
01:06:37,862 --> 01:06:39,821
(snorting, grunts)

1418
01:06:42,302 --> 01:06:43,303
Wow!

1419
01:06:46,436 --> 01:06:48,221
(snorts)

1420
01:06:48,264 --> 01:06:51,702
Wednesday, we're
still your family.

1421
01:06:51,746 --> 01:06:53,878
And that's why I'd like to honor

1422
01:06:53,922 --> 01:06:56,272
your contributions to my life

1423
01:06:56,316 --> 01:06:59,971
with a proper and
respectful goodbye.

1424
01:07:01,408 --> 01:07:03,714
Uh, Addams family, I...

1425
01:07:03,758 --> 01:07:05,412
I want to say...

1426
01:07:06,978 --> 01:07:08,415
(sighs)

1427
01:07:08,458 --> 01:07:11,635
It appears I'm not quite
ready to part with them.

1428
01:07:11,679 --> 01:07:13,115
Forgive me, Father.

1429
01:07:13,159 --> 01:07:15,248
I do forgive you.

1430
01:07:15,291 --> 01:07:17,076
Oh, no.

1431
01:07:17,119 --> 01:07:18,816
I meant Cyrus.

1432
01:07:18,860 --> 01:07:21,080
Come on, Wednesday.
You don't mean this.

1433
01:07:21,123 --> 01:07:22,168
Let's just go home.

1434
01:07:22,211 --> 01:07:23,908
We can talk about
this in the camper.

1435
01:07:23,952 --> 01:07:26,128
I'm sorry, Mr. Addams.

1436
01:07:26,172 --> 01:07:28,609
I can't leave with you.

1437
01:07:28,652 --> 01:07:31,046
But maybe we can offer you

1438
01:07:31,090 --> 01:07:33,570
and Mrs. Addams
shelter for the night?

1439
01:07:33,614 --> 01:07:36,269
Then tomorrow we
can say goodbye.

1440
01:07:36,312 --> 01:07:38,358
Of course, daughter.

1441
01:07:38,401 --> 01:07:40,360
My man will show you
to the guest quarters.

1442
01:07:40,751 --> 01:07:42,405
(groans)

1443
01:07:42,449 --> 01:07:43,841
<font color="

1444
01:07:43,885 --> 01:07:45,887
<i>♫  I want him back  ♫</i>

1445
01:07:45,930 --> 01:07:49,804
<i>♫  Shadows I left  ♫</i>

1446
01:07:52,111 --> 01:07:57,377
<i>♫ Haunting all the
halls Of our house ♫</i>

1447
01:07:57,986 --> 01:07:59,335
(Ingrid squawks)

1448
01:07:59,379 --> 01:08:04,035
<i>♫  Never tried to be content  ♫</i>

1449
01:08:04,079 --> 01:08:05,689
<b>MORTICIA</b>: Something isn't right.

1450
01:08:05,733 --> 01:08:07,213
Of course it's not.

1451
01:08:07,256 --> 01:08:09,476
I've loved Wednesday
her whole life.

1452
01:08:09,519 --> 01:08:11,695
I can't just stop because
a piece of paper says...

1453
01:08:14,785 --> 01:08:15,917
Says...

1454
01:08:21,140 --> 01:08:24,926
Wow. They really
did a lot in six hours.

1455
01:08:24,969 --> 01:08:31,715
<i>♫  With happy people  ♫</i>

1456
01:08:33,152 --> 01:08:34,979
Oh, Tish.

1457
01:08:35,023 --> 01:08:37,199
We've lost our little girl.

1458
01:08:37,243 --> 01:08:41,769
<i>♫ I want to be Like
happy people ♫</i>

1459
01:08:41,812 --> 01:08:43,553
(Gomez sobbing)

1460
01:08:45,076 --> 01:08:46,774
-<b>OPHELIA</b>: Hey!
-Wha...

1461
01:08:49,690 --> 01:08:51,518
Come here! (snortles)

1462
01:08:54,260 --> 01:08:55,348
(squeals)

1463
01:08:58,916 --> 01:09:01,180
I thought my bedroom was a mess.

1464
01:09:01,223 --> 01:09:03,617
This is awesome!

1465
01:09:03,660 --> 01:09:05,488
Hey, uh, are you hungry?

1466
01:09:05,532 --> 01:09:07,011
I'm always hungry.

1467
01:09:07,055 --> 01:09:08,448
(squeals) Check it out.

1468
01:09:12,495 --> 01:09:14,062
When my dad's not around,

1469
01:09:14,105 --> 01:09:16,456
I don't use forks or spoons

1470
01:09:17,021 --> 01:09:18,458
or anything.

1471
01:09:18,501 --> 01:09:19,894
(gasps) Me either!

1472
01:09:20,677 --> 01:09:22,592
(both chomping)

1473
01:09:26,770 --> 01:09:29,033
It's a lot easier to
just use your face!

1474
01:09:29,077 --> 01:09:32,123
Just use your face! (snortles)

1475
01:09:32,167 --> 01:09:33,821
Where have you been all my life?

1476
01:09:33,864 --> 01:09:35,388
The farm.

1477
01:09:36,563 --> 01:09:37,651
Wait, what did you say?

1478
01:09:38,217 --> 01:09:39,392
<font color="

1479
01:09:39,435 --> 01:09:40,393
(screams)

1480
01:09:41,959 --> 01:09:45,180
<b>MORTICIA</b>: Cyrus Strange
is lying. I'm sure of it.

1481
01:09:45,224 --> 01:09:46,529
But how do we prove
it to Wednesday that...

1482
01:09:46,573 --> 01:09:48,270
Oh, baby.

1483
01:09:48,314 --> 01:09:49,663
It's no use.

1484
01:09:49,706 --> 01:09:51,099
Wednesday has gone.

1485
01:09:51,142 --> 01:09:54,189
And now, we must do our duty.

1486
01:09:54,233 --> 01:09:56,409
We shall raise
the pig girl and...

1487
01:09:56,452 --> 01:09:58,106
Pull yourself together, Gomez.

1488
01:09:58,149 --> 01:09:59,629
You're an Addams.

1489
01:09:59,673 --> 01:10:01,414
Just as Wednesday is.

1490
01:10:01,457 --> 01:10:03,851
Whether it's in
her blood or not.

1491
01:10:03,894 --> 01:10:05,766
-(door opens)
-<font color="

1492
01:10:05,809 --> 01:10:07,681
You have to see this!

1493
01:10:07,724 --> 01:10:09,248
(Ingrid clucks, squawks)

1494
01:10:10,945 --> 01:10:12,773
-(Ophelia snorts)
-(Ingrid trills)

1495
01:10:12,816 --> 01:10:14,514
What happened to these people?

1496
01:10:14,557 --> 01:10:15,732
<b>PUGSLEY</b>: That's just it!

1497
01:10:15,776 --> 01:10:17,430
I... I don't think
they are people.

1498
01:10:17,473 --> 01:10:19,170
<b>CYRUS</b>: Your idiot boy is right.

1499
01:10:20,389 --> 01:10:21,608
(Ingrid yelps)

1500
01:10:21,651 --> 01:10:24,524
They're animals I
imbued with human traits.

1501
01:10:24,567 --> 01:10:26,830
Pretty neat, huh?

1502
01:10:26,874 --> 01:10:30,486
They always revert back
to their original form, though.

1503
01:10:30,530 --> 01:10:32,532
So that's why you
wanted Wednesday.

1504
01:10:32,575 --> 01:10:35,752
Her experiment did
what you couldn't.

1505
01:10:35,796 --> 01:10:39,016
Men. Just can't come out and
ask a woman for help, can you?

1506
01:10:39,060 --> 01:10:40,583
You faked that DNA test.

1507
01:10:40,627 --> 01:10:42,455
Blah, blah, blah, blah!

1508
01:10:42,498 --> 01:10:44,805
Oh, pipe down, Elvira!

1509
01:10:44,848 --> 01:10:48,243
That's it! Prepare to
meet Old Deuteronomy!

1510
01:10:48,287 --> 01:10:49,940
Mazurka!

1511
01:10:51,551 --> 01:10:53,901
(Gomez grunts, coughs)

1512
01:10:56,817 --> 01:10:57,687
(groans)

1513
01:10:58,775 --> 01:11:00,386
<font color="

1514
01:11:00,429 --> 01:11:02,344
Oh, where are my manners?

1515
01:11:02,388 --> 01:11:04,781
I forgot to thank
you for the tip!

1516
01:11:04,825 --> 01:11:06,914
-(laughs evilly)
-(Morticia groans)

1517
01:11:06,957 --> 01:11:08,394
(body thuds)

1518
01:11:08,437 --> 01:11:10,483
I'm good! I'm so good!

1519
01:11:16,010 --> 01:11:17,359
(lightning crashes)

1520
01:11:28,152 --> 01:11:29,502
So sorry about that.

1521
01:11:29,545 --> 01:11:30,981
(clears throat) Where were we?

1522
01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:32,722
I have a surprise
for you, Father.

1523
01:11:33,854 --> 01:11:34,898
(chuckles excitedly)

1524
01:11:34,942 --> 01:11:36,987
Yes. Yes! Of course!

1525
01:11:37,031 --> 01:11:38,902
It's so simple. (chuckles)

1526
01:11:40,034 --> 01:11:42,166
But... But could it work?

1527
01:11:44,168 --> 01:11:45,648
(keypad beeping)

1528
01:11:45,692 --> 01:11:47,171
(computer trilling)

1529
01:11:47,215 --> 01:11:48,390
(beeps)

1530
01:11:48,434 --> 01:11:50,087
You did it!

1531
01:11:50,131 --> 01:11:53,352
I knew funding those
science fairs would pay off.

1532
01:11:53,395 --> 01:11:54,875
What was that?

1533
01:11:54,918 --> 01:11:56,572
Uh... Nothing.

1534
01:11:56,616 --> 01:12:00,359
I have a surprise for
you as well, Wednesday.

1535
01:12:00,402 --> 01:12:02,143
(door opening)

1536
01:12:04,798 --> 01:12:08,062
They can be our
first test subjects.

1537
01:12:08,105 --> 01:12:09,933
What have you done?

1538
01:12:09,977 --> 01:12:11,587
I've got all manner

1539
01:12:11,631 --> 01:12:14,503
of diabolical DNA
in these test tubes.

1540
01:12:14,547 --> 01:12:16,810
You can isolate the
Addams' annoying habits

1541
01:12:16,853 --> 01:12:19,769
and we'll replace them
with ones you want.

1542
01:12:19,813 --> 01:12:21,554
But why?

1543
01:12:21,597 --> 01:12:24,252
I saw you trying to
delay their departure.

1544
01:12:24,295 --> 01:12:27,298
This way, you can
keep them around.

1545
01:12:27,342 --> 01:12:29,213
I need my little
protege to be happy

1546
01:12:29,257 --> 01:12:31,259
and focused on her work.

1547
01:12:31,302 --> 01:12:33,783
This is important stuff
we are doing, Wednesday.

1548
01:12:33,827 --> 01:12:34,915
(laughs)

1549
01:12:34,958 --> 01:12:37,091
World-changing!

1550
01:12:37,134 --> 01:12:38,571
"World-changing"?

1551
01:12:38,614 --> 01:12:40,355
If you could control people,

1552
01:12:40,399 --> 01:12:43,793
Imbue them with the strength
and ferocity of any animal on earth?

1553
01:12:43,837 --> 01:12:46,056
Imagine who would pay for that!

1554
01:12:46,100 --> 01:12:48,494
The military,
foreign governments,

1555
01:12:48,537 --> 01:12:50,147
call centers.

1556
01:12:50,191 --> 01:12:52,846
They'd all want unstoppable
hybrid murder machines

1557
01:12:52,889 --> 01:12:55,414
programmed down
to the cellular level!

1558
01:12:55,457 --> 01:12:59,330
Imagine how rich and
famous we'll become!

1559
01:12:59,374 --> 01:13:03,596
All thanks to your experiment!
(laughing maniacally)

1560
01:13:03,639 --> 01:13:05,467
But I only meant to show

1561
01:13:05,511 --> 01:13:08,078
how my Uncle Fester's
intellect could be improved.

1562
01:13:08,122 --> 01:13:11,908
And now you get to improve
the rest of your ex-family.

1563
01:13:11,952 --> 01:13:13,649
<font color="

1564
01:13:14,911 --> 01:13:16,086
<b>WEDNESDAY</b>: But they
don't need improving.

1565
01:13:16,130 --> 01:13:18,306
They're fine as they are.

1566
01:13:19,350 --> 01:13:21,396
Except for maybe Pugsley.

1567
01:13:21,440 --> 01:13:24,791
But I'm the one who
was looking for change,

1568
01:13:24,834 --> 01:13:26,183
not them.

1569
01:13:26,227 --> 01:13:27,968
But this way, you'll
never have to feel different

1570
01:13:28,011 --> 01:13:31,101
from anyone in your family
ever again, little boo-boo.

1571
01:13:31,145 --> 01:13:32,842
(alarm blaring)

1572
01:13:34,322 --> 01:13:36,498
(system trilling, chimes)

1573
01:13:38,761 --> 01:13:41,285
<font color="

1574
01:13:43,462 --> 01:13:45,289
Here you are, Wednesday.

1575
01:13:45,333 --> 01:13:47,248
You do the honors.

1576
01:13:47,291 --> 01:13:48,902
(system beeping)

1577
01:13:49,859 --> 01:13:51,774
I won't!

1578
01:13:51,818 --> 01:13:54,603
Even though you are
biologically my father,

1579
01:13:54,647 --> 01:13:58,085
these people
are still my family.

1580
01:13:58,128 --> 01:14:01,523
The Addams family.

1581
01:14:01,567 --> 01:14:05,266
Fine. If you can't pull
the trigger, I'll do it!

1582
01:14:05,919 --> 01:14:07,094
(buzzes)

1583
01:14:07,137 --> 01:14:08,225
(powering up)

1584
01:14:08,269 --> 01:14:09,705
(laughs evilly)

1585
01:14:15,929 --> 01:14:18,497
(Cyrus laughing maniacally)

1586
01:14:20,063 --> 01:14:22,588
I'm disappointed
in you, Wednesday.

1587
01:14:22,631 --> 01:14:26,679
But it appears you're just a
silly little girl playing with science.

1588
01:14:28,768 --> 01:14:30,683
(laughs maliciously)

1589
01:14:31,727 --> 01:14:34,556
Turn off the
machine, Mr. Strange.

1590
01:14:35,252 --> 01:14:37,167
I won't ask you again.

1591
01:14:37,211 --> 01:14:38,517
(lightning crashes)

1592
01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:39,822
<b>CYRUS</b>: Aw!

1593
01:14:39,866 --> 01:14:42,172
Is little lady threatening me?

1594
01:14:42,216 --> 01:14:43,565
That depends.

1595
01:14:43,609 --> 01:14:45,741
Do you have a piano nearby?

1596
01:14:45,785 --> 01:14:48,352
Why would I have a
piano in a laboratory?

1597
01:14:48,396 --> 01:14:51,355
In that case, Lurch...

1598
01:14:51,399 --> 01:14:52,574
<font color="

1599
01:14:52,618 --> 01:14:55,403
...show this cretin
what your cold,

1600
01:14:55,446 --> 01:14:58,014
-dead hands are capable of.
-(Cyrus chuckles)

1601
01:14:58,058 --> 01:14:59,363
You think you're the only one

1602
01:14:59,407 --> 01:15:01,801
with a brainless
Neanderthal bodyguard?

1603
01:15:01,844 --> 01:15:03,542
(laughing wickedly)

1604
01:15:06,675 --> 01:15:10,113
-(growling)
-Kill, Pongo. Kill!

1605
01:15:11,550 --> 01:15:13,029
(growls)

1606
01:15:13,769 --> 01:15:15,379
(roars)

1607
01:15:15,423 --> 01:15:16,946
Oh, this is gonna be rich!

1608
01:15:18,078 --> 01:15:19,949
(Lurch moaning)

1609
01:15:19,993 --> 01:15:20,776
What?

1610
01:15:22,169 --> 01:15:23,344
(both roar)

1611
01:15:23,387 --> 01:15:26,652
Eh! No! Pongo, you imbecile!

1612
01:15:26,695 --> 01:15:29,002
I command you, you protect me.

1613
01:15:29,045 --> 01:15:31,482
You're wasting your breath.

1614
01:15:31,526 --> 01:15:34,703
You see, Pongo and
Lurch are former cellmates

1615
01:15:34,747 --> 01:15:36,879
at the asylum where
Lurch was held captive

1616
01:15:36,923 --> 01:15:38,620
before my parents found him.

1617
01:15:38,664 --> 01:15:40,448
Back in Texas,

1618
01:15:40,491 --> 01:15:45,888
Pongo told Lurch that he
suspected I was in danger.

1619
01:15:45,932 --> 01:15:47,455
-I didn't believe it then.
-<b>CYRUS</b>: Pongo, Pongo.

1620
01:15:47,498 --> 01:15:49,370
Bad boy, Pongo. Bad boy.

1621
01:15:49,413 --> 01:15:51,111
I was wrong.

1622
01:15:51,154 --> 01:15:52,808
-<font color="
-No! No!

1623
01:15:52,852 --> 01:15:54,331
That's gonna leave a mark.

1624
01:15:54,375 --> 01:15:57,334
Unhand me! (screams)

1625
01:15:57,378 --> 01:15:59,772
Stop! I had a big breakfast.

1626
01:15:59,815 --> 01:16:01,687
Don't make me puke
up my pancakes!

1627
01:16:01,730 --> 01:16:04,167
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

1628
01:16:04,211 --> 01:16:06,300
(Cyrus yells)

1629
01:16:06,343 --> 01:16:08,824
(Cyrus grunting and groaning)

1630
01:16:08,868 --> 01:16:11,000
-(growling)
-(Cyrus whimpering)

1631
01:16:11,044 --> 01:16:12,306
(screaming)

1632
01:16:13,829 --> 01:16:15,091
<font color="

1633
01:16:19,139 --> 01:16:20,096
(groans)

1634
01:16:21,837 --> 01:16:23,099
(gasping)

1635
01:16:23,143 --> 01:16:24,535
(Cyrus gurgling and choking)

1636
01:16:28,931 --> 01:16:31,020
Mother, Father,
are you all right?

1637
01:16:31,064 --> 01:16:32,456
Yes, yes.

1638
01:16:32,500 --> 01:16:36,243
Fortunately, we escaped
with no fatal wounds.

1639
01:16:39,202 --> 01:16:40,726
Even Pugsley?

1640
01:16:40,769 --> 01:16:42,553
Even Pugsley.

1641
01:16:42,597 --> 01:16:45,208
Oh, well. Maybe next time.

1642
01:16:45,252 --> 01:16:46,819
Wait, what?

1643
01:16:46,862 --> 01:16:49,343
(muffled bleating, squawking)

1644
01:16:50,649 --> 01:16:53,129
(muffled squawk, grunting)

1645
01:16:53,173 --> 01:16:55,218
<font color="

1646
01:16:55,262 --> 01:16:57,525
(laughs maliciously)

1647
01:16:58,569 --> 01:17:00,223
How very...

1648
01:17:00,267 --> 01:17:01,921
(squawks) touching.

1649
01:17:01,964 --> 01:17:03,313
(bare)

1650
01:17:03,357 --> 01:17:06,142
My real daughter would
know that sentimentality...

1651
01:17:06,186 --> 01:17:07,535
(clucking)

1652
01:17:07,578 --> 01:17:10,103
is the antithesis of science.

1653
01:17:10,146 --> 01:17:11,626
-That's right.
-(gasps)

1654
01:17:11,670 --> 01:17:14,498
I lied about the
DNA... (snorting)

1655
01:17:14,542 --> 01:17:16,109
-re... re...
-(gasps)

1656
01:17:16,152 --> 01:17:17,545
...results.

1657
01:17:17,588 --> 01:17:19,678
-(bleats)
-(Gomez grunts)

1658
01:17:19,721 --> 01:17:22,550
I really should thank
you, Wednesday.

1659
01:17:22,593 --> 01:17:25,074
-(elevator whirring)
-You've uncaged me.

1660
01:17:25,118 --> 01:17:26,902
(snorting)

1661
01:17:26,946 --> 01:17:31,690
But your foul play is no
longer amusing to me.

1662
01:17:34,040 --> 01:17:37,130
So, I think I'll
exterminate you.

1663
01:17:38,348 --> 01:17:39,872
(Lurch and Pongo groan)

1664
01:17:40,960 --> 01:17:43,266
And your entire...

1665
01:17:43,310 --> 01:17:45,181
(clucking) family!

1666
01:17:45,225 --> 01:17:46,356
<font color="

1667
01:17:49,359 --> 01:17:52,536
Get ready to cry uncle!

1668
01:17:52,580 --> 01:17:53,799
(Cyrus roars)

1669
01:17:54,756 --> 01:17:56,149
(groaning)

1670
01:17:57,716 --> 01:17:58,891
<b>PUGSLEY</b>: Ahh!

1671
01:18:00,022 --> 01:18:01,371
(groaning)

1672
01:18:05,419 --> 01:18:07,638
(burbles, grunts)

1673
01:18:07,682 --> 01:18:09,902
-(growls)
-(Fester grunting)

1674
01:18:11,294 --> 01:18:13,296
<b>GOMEZ</b>: Incoming!

1675
01:18:13,340 --> 01:18:14,297
(Pugsley grunts)

1676
01:18:16,256 --> 01:18:17,518
Ophelia!

1677
01:18:17,561 --> 01:18:18,649
<font color="

1678
01:18:20,086 --> 01:18:21,391
(Fester groans)

1679
01:18:24,481 --> 01:18:26,353
-(Cyrus groans)
-(Ingrid squawks)

1680
01:18:26,396 --> 01:18:28,311
(squealing)

1681
01:18:28,355 --> 01:18:29,791
(whimpering)

1682
01:18:29,835 --> 01:18:31,575
(grunts, gasps)

1683
01:18:32,054 --> 01:18:34,100
(roaring)

1684
01:18:34,143 --> 01:18:35,928
(whimpers)

1685
01:18:35,971 --> 01:18:37,494
<b>GOMEZ</b>: Oh, yeah!

1686
01:18:37,538 --> 01:18:38,757
That's it! You got him!

1687
01:18:44,763 --> 01:18:46,155
<font color="

1688
01:18:48,592 --> 01:18:49,768
<b>GOMEZ</b>: Get him, Fester!

1689
01:18:49,811 --> 01:18:51,247
Ink him! Ink him, baby!

1690
01:19:00,300 --> 01:19:02,389
Everybody, run!

1691
01:19:02,432 --> 01:19:04,565
(Cyrus whimpering)

1692
01:19:06,393 --> 01:19:08,047
(Cyrus yells)

1693
01:19:09,918 --> 01:19:10,963
(Cyrus squawks)

1694
01:19:17,143 --> 01:19:18,797
(grunting weakly)

1695
01:19:22,104 --> 01:19:23,976
(groaning)

1696
01:19:26,935 --> 01:19:28,284
(sighs exhaustedly)

1697
01:19:28,328 --> 01:19:30,330
Madison, would you
do me the honor...

1698
01:19:30,373 --> 01:19:31,461
<font color="

1699
01:19:36,553 --> 01:19:38,642
(Madison straining)

1700
01:19:38,686 --> 01:19:41,515
Yes, I'll marry you.

1701
01:19:42,516 --> 01:19:44,910
(Fester rumbling weakly)

1702
01:19:44,953 --> 01:19:46,694
Uncle Fester.

1703
01:19:47,869 --> 01:19:49,915
He's dying.

1704
01:19:49,958 --> 01:19:52,134
And it's all my fault.

1705
01:19:52,178 --> 01:19:54,049
Oh, Wednesday.

1706
01:19:58,445 --> 01:19:59,315
(Wednesday sighs)

1707
01:20:02,710 --> 01:20:04,712
Mother, when you
said this necklace

1708
01:20:04,755 --> 01:20:06,670
was a part of every Addams,

1709
01:20:06,714 --> 01:20:08,585
what did you mean?

1710
01:20:08,629 --> 01:20:12,372
It contains a drop of blood from
every Addams born into the family.

1711
01:20:12,415 --> 01:20:15,462
Your father, Pugsley, you...

1712
01:20:16,071 --> 01:20:18,508
And Uncle Fester.

1713
01:20:18,552 --> 01:20:21,163
Your little Addams
DNA cocktail here

1714
01:20:21,207 --> 01:20:22,512
might just save the day.

1715
01:20:22,991 --> 01:20:24,079
Lurch!

1716
01:20:24,123 --> 01:20:26,038
(groans)

1717
01:20:28,997 --> 01:20:30,956
(system powering up)

1718
01:20:45,187 --> 01:20:45,884
(dings)

1719
01:20:49,757 --> 01:20:51,280
Bottoms up, Uncle Fester.

1720
01:20:55,415 --> 01:20:57,721
(Fester groaning)

1721
01:21:04,032 --> 01:21:05,120
Whoa!

1722
01:21:09,168 --> 01:21:10,952
(continues groaning)

1723
01:21:16,349 --> 01:21:18,090
(continues groaning)

1724
01:21:25,619 --> 01:21:26,620
(Morticia gasps)

1725
01:21:30,406 --> 01:21:31,364
(burps)

1726
01:21:32,452 --> 01:21:35,020
<font color="

1727
01:21:35,324 --> 01:21:37,196
Yes.

1728
01:21:37,239 --> 01:21:40,503
-Yes, you did, Uncle Fester.
-(chuckles)

1729
01:21:40,547 --> 01:21:42,157
Oh, and, Pugsley,

1730
01:21:42,201 --> 01:21:44,420
it looks like Ophelia
is feeling better too.

1731
01:21:47,336 --> 01:21:48,424
(gasps)

1732
01:21:49,599 --> 01:21:51,340
(both chuckle excitedly)

1733
01:21:53,473 --> 01:21:56,693
Mother, Father, I'm sorry.

1734
01:21:56,737 --> 01:21:59,392
I didn't want to be an Addams.

1735
01:21:59,435 --> 01:22:02,395
I struggled with
feeling different.

1736
01:22:02,438 --> 01:22:05,833
But now, I realize
that being different

1737
01:22:05,876 --> 01:22:09,097
is the most Addams-y
thing there is.

1738
01:22:09,141 --> 01:22:11,186
"Different" is
what the extra "D"

1739
01:22:11,230 --> 01:22:13,232
in "Addams" stands for.

1740
01:22:13,275 --> 01:22:16,235
I always thought it stood
for "dismemberment."

1741
01:22:17,062 --> 01:22:18,628
Can you forgive me?

1742
01:22:19,368 --> 01:22:20,848
Wednesday,

1743
01:22:20,891 --> 01:22:24,852
you are and always
will be our little ghoul.

1744
01:22:24,895 --> 01:22:26,767
We love you.

1745
01:22:26,810 --> 01:22:28,029
Thank you, Mother.

1746
01:22:28,073 --> 01:22:29,465
The feeling is mutual.

1747
01:22:30,684 --> 01:22:32,077
And, Father...

1748
01:22:32,120 --> 01:22:34,775
Yes, my little raven?

1749
01:22:34,818 --> 01:22:36,646
I have something for you.

1750
01:22:46,134 --> 01:22:49,442
Come on, Addams
family. Let's go home.

1751
01:22:49,485 --> 01:22:50,704
-(Fester chuckles)
-(Lurch groans)

1752
01:22:51,792 --> 01:22:53,315
(electronic dance music playing)

1753
01:22:53,359 --> 01:22:54,360
<font color="

1754
01:23:00,453 --> 01:23:01,584
Gruesome.

1755
01:23:01,628 --> 01:23:04,979
Mmm! And fragrant.

1756
01:23:05,023 --> 01:23:06,720
-(glass shatters)
-(people whooping)

1757
01:23:08,287 --> 01:23:09,897
-(all exclaim excitedly)
-Yeah! Awesome!

1758
01:23:09,940 --> 01:23:11,072
Now, look, look, look.

1759
01:23:11,116 --> 01:23:13,640
All I did was invite
a few people over

1760
01:23:13,683 --> 01:23:15,642
and things got a
little bit out of hand.

1761
01:23:15,685 --> 01:23:18,558
Yes, there were a few
injuries, but the EMT is here.

1762
01:23:18,601 --> 01:23:20,864
They're having a wonderful time.

1763
01:23:20,908 --> 01:23:23,693
What a lovely
homecoming present.

1764
01:23:23,737 --> 01:23:25,869
Oh. <font color="

1765
01:23:25,913 --> 01:23:29,047
Welcome home! (laughs)

1766
01:23:29,090 --> 01:23:31,266
(crowd cheering)

1767
01:23:32,702 --> 01:23:35,531
(hip-hop music playing)

1768
01:23:35,575 --> 01:23:38,317
(cackles) I thought
you'd never get here.

1769
01:23:39,579 --> 01:23:40,841
(babbling)

1770
01:23:40,884 --> 01:23:42,973
Oh, my goodness! (shrieks)

1771
01:23:45,585 --> 01:23:48,240
Let's light it up, hairball!

1772
01:23:48,283 --> 01:23:50,155
(babbles)

1773
01:23:50,198 --> 01:23:51,373
<font color="

1774
01:23:51,417 --> 01:23:52,809
<i>♫ That's how I brought it back ♫</i>

1775
01:23:52,853 --> 01:23:54,985
<i>♫ But what I wanna know
Is where the party at ♫</i>

1776
01:23:55,029 --> 01:23:56,813
<i>♫ I came a long way to get
These people out they seat ♫</i>

1777
01:23:56,857 --> 01:23:58,685
<i>♫ Now I need y'all
To clap your hands ♫</i>

1778
01:23:58,728 --> 01:24:00,121
<i>♫ To the beat And
have a good time ♫</i>

1779
01:24:00,165 --> 01:24:01,905
<font color="

1780
01:24:01,949 --> 01:24:03,255
<i>♫ We got it crackin'
In the back ♫</i>

1781
01:24:03,298 --> 01:24:04,517
<i>♫  Oh, yeah, it's lit  ♫</i>

1782
01:24:04,560 --> 01:24:06,258
<i>♫  My brand-new outfit  ♫</i>

1783
01:24:06,301 --> 01:24:07,955
<i>♫ The one to get
The party started ♫</i>

1784
01:24:07,998 --> 01:24:10,262
<i>♫ Plugged and wet
Gloves and mitt, club is lit ♫</i>

1785
01:24:10,305 --> 01:24:11,915
<i>♫ Kind of the one
One of a kind ♫</i></font>

1786
01:24:11,959 --> 01:24:13,134
<i>♫  It's Cousin It  ♫</i>

1787
01:24:13,178 --> 01:24:14,701
<i>♫  He's the host
with the most  ♫</i>

1788
01:24:14,744 --> 01:24:17,356
<i>♫ I wanna give a toast To
the wild, wild West Coast ♫</i>

1789
01:24:17,399 --> 01:24:18,531
<i>♫ Now if you're
Feeling like a villain ♫</i>

1790
01:24:18,574 --> 01:24:20,228
<i>♫  Say, "Yeah, yeah"  ♫</i>

1791
01:24:20,272 --> 01:24:22,056
<i>♫ Snoop Dogg is in the
house And he's a playa, playa ♫</i>

1792
01:24:22,100 --> 01:24:23,057
<font color="
ladies In the house ♫</i>

1793
01:24:23,101 --> 01:24:24,580
<i>♫  Say, "Oh, yeah"  ♫</i>

1794
01:24:24,624 --> 01:24:26,495
<i>♫ We're family for sure
In case you didn't know ♫</i>

1795
01:24:26,539 --> 01:24:27,627
<i>♫  It ain't nothin' going on  ♫</i>

1796
01:24:27,670 --> 01:24:30,020
We love you, It!

1797
01:24:30,064 --> 01:24:32,762
I still don't understand
a word that guy says.

1798
01:24:32,806 --> 01:24:34,112
(Ophelia and Pugsley laughing)

1799
01:24:35,461 --> 01:24:37,245
Yeah!

1800
01:24:37,289 --> 01:24:41,031
Didn't I tell you this trip would
bring the family closer together?

1801
01:24:41,075 --> 01:24:43,991
You're a wonderful
father, darling.

1802
01:24:44,034 --> 01:24:46,428
There's one thing
that's still troubling me.

1803
01:24:46,472 --> 01:24:48,604
Cyrus lied about
being my father,

1804
01:24:48,648 --> 01:24:51,781
but when I tested your
hair at the Grand Canyon,

1805
01:24:51,825 --> 01:24:55,785
it said conclusively that
you were not my father either.

1806
01:24:55,829 --> 01:24:58,527
Ah, that explains it.

1807
01:24:58,571 --> 01:25:00,007
I suffered a little accident

1808
01:25:00,050 --> 01:25:02,270
with a napalm experiment
a few years back

1809
01:25:02,314 --> 01:25:04,794
and lost my beautiful,
beautiful hair.

1810
01:25:04,838 --> 01:25:06,187
(splutters)

1811
01:25:07,406 --> 01:25:09,756
Had it replaced with
real Sasquatch fur.

1812
01:25:09,799 --> 01:25:11,584
I assure you, Wednesday,

1813
01:25:11,627 --> 01:25:13,107
I am your father.

1814
01:25:13,151 --> 01:25:15,283
Now and always.

1815
01:25:15,979 --> 01:25:17,285
(gasps and groans)

1816
01:25:17,329 --> 01:25:19,505
I already hugged
you once, Father.

1817
01:25:19,548 --> 01:25:21,898
That's quite enough
affection for a lifetime.

1818
01:25:21,942 --> 01:25:23,596
(Gomez laughs)

1819
01:25:24,379 --> 01:25:26,381
Well, Addams,

1820
01:25:26,425 --> 01:25:29,123
time to start planning
the next family vacation.

1821
01:25:29,167 --> 01:25:32,779
Maybe a trip around the
world? What do you say?

1822
01:25:32,822 --> 01:25:35,782
(theme music playing)

1823
01:25:37,044 --> 01:25:38,654
(projector whirring)

1824
01:25:40,787 --> 01:25:42,441
(singing)

1825
01:26:15,213 --> 01:26:18,346
<font color="
Remix playing ♫</i>

1826
01:26:18,390 --> 01:26:20,870
<i>♫ Ay, I'm finna pull up
In that creepy, crawly ♫</i>

1827
01:26:20,914 --> 01:26:22,394
<i>♫  All black Bugatti  ♫</i>

1828
01:26:22,437 --> 01:26:24,744
<i>♫ Bag full of money But
it's looking like a body ♫</i>

1829
01:26:24,787 --> 01:26:26,963
<i>♫ Weird but I'm wonderful
Crazy but I'm confident ♫</i>

1830
01:26:27,007 --> 01:26:29,183
<i>♫ I could find a brighter side
To any name they hit me with ♫</i></font>

1831
01:26:29,227 --> 01:26:31,577
<i>♫ I'm in that all black
I think I'm all that ♫</i>

1832
01:26:31,620 --> 01:26:33,709
<i>♫ I rock designer They don't
know how To pronounce that ♫</i>

1833
01:26:33,753 --> 01:26:35,929
<i>♫ And I don't trip when I
fall 'Cause I bounce back ♫</i>

1834
01:26:35,972 --> 01:26:37,887
<i>♫ And I be rolling with My
clique like a mousepad ♫</i>

1835
01:26:37,931 --> 01:26:39,933
(singing in Spanish)

1836
01:26:47,245 --> 01:26:51,901
<font color="
All down your street ♫</i>

1837
01:26:51,945 --> 01:26:56,863
<i>♫ They say we're freaks
I'm sayin' they're with me ♫</i>

1838
01:26:56,906 --> 01:26:58,995
-<i>♫ We so unique ♫</i> -<i>♫ So unique ♫</i>

1839
01:26:59,039 --> 01:27:01,346
<i>♫  We all black sheep  ♫</i>

1840
01:27:01,389 --> 01:27:05,872
<i>♫ We're one big crazy
family Cha cha cha ♫</i>

1841
01:27:05,915 --> 01:27:07,700
(singing in Spanish)

1842
01:27:25,195 --> 01:27:27,763
<font color="
'Cause nobody can handle me ♫</i>

1843
01:27:27,807 --> 01:27:29,112
<i>♫  Try to act like I'm scary  ♫</i>

1844
01:27:29,156 --> 01:27:30,810
<i>♫ Because I'm something
They never seen ♫</i>

1845
01:27:30,853 --> 01:27:32,551
<i>♫ My whole room like a
vanity I'm in love with myself ♫</i>

1846
01:27:32,594 --> 01:27:33,552
<i>♫ They know That
they can't touch me ♫</i>

1847
01:27:33,595 --> 01:27:35,597
<i>♫  When I'm
feelin' myself, eh  ♫</i>

1848
01:27:35,641 --> 01:27:40,210
<font color="
All down your street ♫</i>

1849
01:27:40,254 --> 01:27:42,604
-<i>♫ They say we're
freaks ♫</i> -<i>♫ Loco ♫</i>

1850
01:27:42,648 --> 01:27:44,954
<i>♫  I'm sayin' they're with me  ♫</i>

1851
01:27:44,998 --> 01:27:47,174
-<i>♫ We so unique ♫</i> -<i>♫ So unique ♫</i>

1852
01:27:47,217 --> 01:27:49,785
<i>♫  We all black sheep  ♫</i>

1853
01:27:49,829 --> 01:27:54,573
<i>♫ We're one big crazy
family Cha cha cha ♫</i></font>

1854
01:27:54,616 --> 01:27:57,924
-<i>♫ Awoo ♫</i> -<i>♫ Love
that crazy baby ♫</i>

1855
01:27:57,967 --> 01:27:58,751
<i>♫  Shake it  ♫</i>

1856
01:28:04,017 --> 01:28:05,932
(singing in Spanish)

1857
01:28:08,630 --> 01:28:11,285
<i>♫ Wherever we are
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

1858
01:28:11,329 --> 01:28:13,461
<i>♫ Feels like home
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

1859
01:28:13,505 --> 01:28:15,550
-<i>♫ We slide we
creep ♫</i></font> -<font color="

1860
01:28:15,594 --> 01:28:17,813
<i>♫  All down your street  ♫</i>

1861
01:28:17,857 --> 01:28:22,992
<i>♫ We're one big crazy
family Cha cha cha ♫</i>

1862
01:28:23,036 --> 01:28:25,647
<i>♫ I've been around
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

1863
01:28:25,691 --> 01:28:27,823
<i>♫ Been up and down
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

1864
01:28:27,867 --> 01:28:30,304
<i>♫ So glad I know now
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

1865
01:28:30,348 --> 01:28:32,480
<i>♫ I'm not alone now
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i></font>

1866
01:28:32,524 --> 01:28:35,091
<i>♫  No matter where we roam  ♫</i>

1867
01:28:35,135 --> 01:28:37,267
<i>♫ Don't matter 'Cause we know ♫</i>

1868
01:28:37,311 --> 01:28:39,661
<i>♫ Wherever we are
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

1869
01:28:39,705 --> 01:28:41,184
<i>♫ Feels like home
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♫</i>

1870
01:28:41,228 --> 01:28:42,185
<i>♫  Eh!  ♫</i>