1 00:00:04,744 --> 00:00:06,224 Oh! Seven in a row! 2 00:00:06,268 --> 00:00:07,312 That's seven for Kevin! 3 00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:09,445 We're in Seventh Kevin, baby! 4 00:00:09,489 --> 00:00:11,404 Hey, one more and that's a sweep, son, 5 00:00:11,447 --> 00:00:13,840 and that means a naked lap for you, Neil! 6 00:00:13,884 --> 00:00:16,017 God, not again. 7 00:00:16,061 --> 00:00:17,887 Patty, what do you care? You're my sister. 8 00:00:17,931 --> 00:00:19,672 You used to change my diapers. 9 00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:22,632 Which is weird 'cause you're three years older than me. 10 00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:25,243 Come on.Alright. Watch this. 11 00:00:25,287 --> 00:00:26,245 Here we go. Kevin. 12 00:00:26,288 --> 00:00:27,245 Larry Bird! 13 00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:28,724 Aah! 14 00:00:28,769 --> 00:00:32,032 I mean, sorry, Mom. 15 00:00:32,077 --> 00:00:34,687 Neil, what is our one house rule? 16 00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:36,733 Yankees suck. 17 00:00:36,776 --> 00:00:39,910 No. Don't call me Mom. 18 00:00:39,953 --> 00:00:43,044 And, yes, of course, Yankees suck. 19 00:00:43,087 --> 00:00:44,523 Well, this looks fun. 20 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,264 This is practice. 21 00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,093 Can't lose the beer pong tournament 22 00:00:48,136 --> 00:00:50,138 at our anniversary party. 23 00:00:50,181 --> 00:00:52,358 Okay, yes, well, about the party. 24 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:53,552 I've been thinking... Patty: Oh. 25 00:00:53,576 --> 00:00:55,838 Man. No! 26 00:00:57,797 --> 00:00:59,886 That maybe, instead of a rager, 27 00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:01,888 we could celebrate our 10th anniversary 28 00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,587 with something more... adult. 29 00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:06,936 Like a threesome? Like a threesome? 30 00:01:06,981 --> 00:01:08,983 Um, no. No. 31 00:01:09,026 --> 00:01:11,767 Like, maybe a-a grown-up dinner together. 32 00:01:11,811 --> 00:01:13,987 I mean, we are 35. 33 00:01:14,031 --> 00:01:17,644 Yeah, but you're lady 35 and I'm boy 35. 34 00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:18,993 What's the difference? 35 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,429 Well, I'm just hitting my prime, and you... 36 00:01:21,474 --> 00:01:23,650 Hmm? 37 00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,868 Are, too. 38 00:01:25,912 --> 00:01:29,569 Very quick. I think she bought it. 39 00:01:29,612 --> 00:01:30,874 Come on. 40 00:01:30,917 --> 00:01:32,833 You love the Anniversa-rager. 41 00:01:32,876 --> 00:01:35,008 You always say, "I don't want one!" 42 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,707 But I know you have the best time 43 00:01:37,751 --> 00:01:40,144 putting it together and... Oh! 44 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:42,582 I do love a planning phase. 45 00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:44,061 That's my girl. 46 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:47,543 Nothing says "party" like your flowcharts. 47 00:01:47,587 --> 00:01:49,022 Alright. 48 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:49,980 Let's get this all cleared up, okay? 49 00:01:50,023 --> 00:01:51,174 'Cause dinner's almost ready. 50 00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,939 - Oh, come on! - I'm up next! 51 00:01:52,983 --> 00:01:54,941 No, see, this is why I call you "Mom." 52 00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:57,204 Guys, leave her alone, alright? 53 00:01:57,249 --> 00:01:59,293 Someone has to be responsible. Right? 54 00:01:59,338 --> 00:02:01,121 Thank you. 55 00:02:01,166 --> 00:02:04,037 Okay, babe, how about this... How about next year, 56 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:07,041 we will celebrate our anniversary your way, 'kay? 57 00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:08,607 Okay. Yoink. 58 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:11,566 Game on! 59 00:02:11,611 --> 00:02:14,179 Game over! It's naked lap time, Neil! 60 00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:15,353 Hey, babe. Yes? 61 00:02:15,397 --> 00:02:16,398 Can you grab us freshies? 62 00:02:16,441 --> 00:02:17,572 Oh! 63 00:02:17,617 --> 00:02:19,575 Allison, avert your eyes. 64 00:02:19,619 --> 00:02:21,403 I can't have you leaving Kevin for me. 65 00:02:46,254 --> 00:02:47,907 I'm fine! 66 00:03:59,066 --> 00:04:00,936 Ugh. 67 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,984 Okay. 68 00:04:10,903 --> 00:04:12,513 I just stepped on a very large roach. 69 00:04:12,557 --> 00:04:14,689 Aw, no. Did you kill it? 70 00:04:14,734 --> 00:04:18,912 Worcester Harvest Fair has a contest for biggest vermin. 71 00:04:18,955 --> 00:04:20,956 'Course we do. 72 00:04:21,001 --> 00:04:23,350 Next time, just, uh, sweep 'im into your shoe. 73 00:04:23,395 --> 00:04:26,701 It was bigger than my shoe. 74 00:04:26,746 --> 00:04:30,532 God. I hope he had babies. 75 00:04:30,576 --> 00:04:32,838 Uh, what have I said about green stuff? 76 00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,056 It's garnish. 77 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:36,321 On scrambled eggs and hot dogs? 78 00:04:36,364 --> 00:04:37,713 Yes. 79 00:04:37,756 --> 00:04:39,323 Uh. Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom. 80 00:04:39,367 --> 00:04:40,977 Yum. 81 00:04:44,328 --> 00:04:46,417 Ke... Mm. Kevin, when I bought you 82 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:49,376 those Curt Schilling coasters, you promised you'd use them. 83 00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:52,119 This coffee table's from Pottery Barn. 84 00:04:52,162 --> 00:04:54,948 Pottery Barn from Goodwill is just Goodwill. 85 00:04:54,991 --> 00:04:58,212 It's like getting lobster from McDonald's. 86 00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,996 It's the nicest thing we have in this house. 87 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,956 Uh, I think you're forgetting about my Wade Boggs rookie card. 88 00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:06,306 No, I'm not. 89 00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:09,136 Hey. We've been here for 10 years now. 90 00:05:09,179 --> 00:05:10,592 Don't you think it's time we take some of the money 91 00:05:10,616 --> 00:05:12,573 we've saved and invest in our future? 92 00:05:12,617 --> 00:05:15,924 Wade Boggs only appreciates. 93 00:05:15,968 --> 00:05:18,580 You never get that feeling that maybe change wouldn't be so... 94 00:05:18,624 --> 00:05:20,321 Nope. 95 00:05:20,364 --> 00:05:21,800 Well, look at the time. 96 00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:25,631 You really should get... Really should get going. 97 00:05:25,674 --> 00:05:27,285 Aw. Man. 98 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,242 Can't we switch places for the day? 99 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,852 How'd that work? 100 00:05:30,896 --> 00:05:34,422 Well, uh, you can wear a fat suit and install cable, 101 00:05:34,465 --> 00:05:36,424 and I can work at the happiest place on Earth. 102 00:05:36,468 --> 00:05:40,254 It's a liquor store. I know what I said. 103 00:05:40,297 --> 00:05:42,037 It's no fair that you get to work there 104 00:05:42,081 --> 00:05:43,736 while I have to watch my snobby boss 105 00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:46,956 give the fiber optic job to Brenda. To Brenda. 106 00:05:46,999 --> 00:05:48,174 That job was mine. 107 00:05:48,218 --> 00:05:50,220 Well, it pays the same.Psh. 108 00:05:50,263 --> 00:05:54,049 You can't put a price on prestige. 109 00:05:54,093 --> 00:05:56,530 Tell that to Pottery Barn. 110 00:05:58,924 --> 00:06:01,622 Okay. Well, I'm gonna go run some errands before work. 111 00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:03,451 Oh. Uh, hey, if you're looking 112 00:06:03,494 --> 00:06:06,018 for an anniversary gift idea for me, 113 00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:09,761 they make alcoholic snow cones now, so, just an idea. 114 00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:12,285 I saw the note you left on the bathroom mirror. 115 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,766 You know that's permanent marker, right? 116 00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:18,292 Well, that's 'cause it's a permanent reminder. 117 00:06:18,335 --> 00:06:21,513 And I'm sure you're wondering what I'm gonna get you for the occasion, 118 00:06:21,556 --> 00:06:24,665 so tell Neil what to get and he'll tell me. Tell Neil what to get and he'll tell you. 119 00:06:24,689 --> 00:06:25,691 Okay. 120 00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:26,866 Love you. 121 00:06:27,736 --> 00:06:28,736 Love you. 122 00:07:16,175 --> 00:07:18,047 Hey. Hey. 123 00:07:43,986 --> 00:07:45,510 Pick up your trash. 124 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,468 It's not that hard. 125 00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:04,703 No! 126 00:08:08,227 --> 00:08:09,751 Aah! 127 00:08:09,794 --> 00:08:11,665 Why would anyone put a trash can there 128 00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:13,494 in the first place? 129 00:08:13,537 --> 00:08:15,583 Ugh! 130 00:09:16,121 --> 00:09:17,185 It's yours if you want it. 131 00:09:17,209 --> 00:09:20,256 Oh. 132 00:09:20,299 --> 00:09:22,954 I don't think it's wanting it enough that's the problem. 133 00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:24,434 Well, a new listing came in. 134 00:09:24,477 --> 00:09:26,480 I thought of you the minute I saw it. 135 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,089 What? 136 00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:29,806 Sellers are motivated, it's within the gates, 137 00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:32,660 but on the smaller side, and you only need 5% down. 138 00:09:32,703 --> 00:09:34,096 Wow. 139 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:37,011 That's, like, all our savings. 140 00:09:37,055 --> 00:09:38,424 10 years' worth just for a down payment? 141 00:09:38,448 --> 00:09:39,841 I don't think I could... Eh. 142 00:09:39,885 --> 00:09:42,103 Math is workable. 143 00:09:42,147 --> 00:09:43,410 Math is workable? 144 00:09:43,453 --> 00:09:45,150 Come on in, we'll do some crunching. 145 00:09:45,194 --> 00:09:46,847 I'll take your coat. 146 00:09:46,891 --> 00:09:49,068 Come on. Here. 147 00:09:49,111 --> 00:09:50,982 Um, let me, um... Just a sec. 148 00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:51,983 Sorry. Oh! 149 00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,637 God, what the hell? 150 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,464 Oh, my God. I am so sorry. 151 00:09:55,509 --> 00:09:57,424 Oh, no. I just bit my tongue. 152 00:09:57,467 --> 00:09:58,817 Can I... No, no. 153 00:09:58,860 --> 00:10:00,514 Just come in, and we can discuss the... 154 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:01,862 You know what? It's... It's fine. 155 00:10:01,906 --> 00:10:03,928 'Cause I don't think this actually would really make 156 00:10:03,952 --> 00:10:05,997 a lot of sense for us right now. 157 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,390 Mm. Yeah. 158 00:10:07,434 --> 00:10:09,654 But you should really ice that. 159 00:10:29,847 --> 00:10:31,892 Hi. Excuse me. 160 00:10:31,937 --> 00:10:33,678 Hi. Hi. 161 00:10:33,721 --> 00:10:36,332 Um, could you tell me what shade of red is right? 162 00:10:36,376 --> 00:10:38,117 I-It's my anniversary coming up, 163 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,120 and I've always loved kind of the classic red lip, you know? 164 00:10:41,163 --> 00:10:43,035 But when I try, I always choose 165 00:10:43,078 --> 00:10:45,689 the wrong shade of red and end up looking trashy. 166 00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,996 With you? Impossible. 167 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,694 Come on. No, no. 168 00:10:49,737 --> 00:10:51,193 I think whatever you're wearing now is perfect. 169 00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,652 I totally agree. 170 00:10:52,697 --> 00:10:54,437 This whole look really works for you. 171 00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:55,873 Yeah. 172 00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:58,833 Well, it's just tinted ChapStick. 173 00:10:58,876 --> 00:11:00,313 Oh. 174 00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:06,666 Well, you coulda told me. 175 00:11:18,069 --> 00:11:21,682 And a Powah Ball quick pick, bonus numbah 11 for Edelman. 176 00:11:21,726 --> 00:11:23,573 And, uh, throw in a couple of the wheel scratchers. 177 00:11:23,597 --> 00:11:25,120 My girl likes 'em. 178 00:11:30,996 --> 00:11:33,171 Allison. 179 00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:34,781 There's my girl. How are ya? 180 00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:36,565 Hey, D. I'm... I'm good. 181 00:11:36,609 --> 00:11:38,307 How are you? 182 00:11:38,351 --> 00:11:40,415 Eh, you know, better than your Uncle Chuck with his back. 183 00:11:40,439 --> 00:11:41,963 They call it a slipped disc? 184 00:11:42,006 --> 00:11:43,897 More like it tripped down three flights of stairs. 185 00:11:43,921 --> 00:11:45,140 But 186 00:11:45,184 --> 00:11:46,924 what can you do, right? 187 00:11:46,968 --> 00:11:48,969 Physical therapy? 188 00:11:49,014 --> 00:11:51,712 Oh, sweetie, you got a little snag. 189 00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:53,757 Ooh. What's in the fancy bag? 190 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,454 You bring your auntie something nice. 191 00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:56,586 Uh, no. It's for Kevin. 192 00:11:56,630 --> 00:11:59,415 I got him a watch for our anniversary. 193 00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:02,156 Mm. La-de-da. 194 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,203 What'd he get you? Nothing yet. 195 00:12:04,246 --> 00:12:06,378 He wants me to tell him what I want. 196 00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:07,988 Mm. Good man. 197 00:12:08,032 --> 00:12:10,818 O-Our first anniversary, Chuck got me running shoes. 198 00:12:10,862 --> 00:12:12,993 Yeah. Can you imagine? 199 00:12:13,038 --> 00:12:14,996 These knees don't run. 200 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,780 Don't make men guess. 201 00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,784 Tell him you want a Dyson or a Pandora's bracelet. 202 00:12:19,827 --> 00:12:22,525 Well, I-I don't want any of that. 203 00:12:23,875 --> 00:12:25,310 Sign of a good life. 204 00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:27,791 Hmm? 205 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,401 You got lucky, honey. 206 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:30,620 Mm? 207 00:12:30,664 --> 00:12:32,231 We both did. 208 00:12:34,886 --> 00:12:37,017 Ah. 209 00:12:37,062 --> 00:12:38,237 Ah. 210 00:12:42,458 --> 00:12:43,808 Kevin? 211 00:12:43,851 --> 00:12:45,809 Present. Oh, good, you're home. 212 00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,202 I'm home and I'm screwed. 213 00:12:47,246 --> 00:12:48,594 Uh-huh. 214 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:49,876 Word of the party got around work. 215 00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:52,033 All the way up to Bossman Harrison. 216 00:12:52,077 --> 00:12:53,468 Uh-huh. 217 00:12:53,512 --> 00:12:56,036 Now he's coming and he cannot hang. 218 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,213 I found what I want for our anniversary. 219 00:12:58,256 --> 00:12:59,823 I told you to tell Neil. 220 00:12:59,867 --> 00:13:02,217 I did. He's crying next door. 221 00:13:04,698 --> 00:13:06,046 Happy anniversary. 222 00:13:06,091 --> 00:13:07,788 What's this? 223 00:13:07,832 --> 00:13:09,223 We're moving! 224 00:13:17,711 --> 00:13:19,079 Okay, so we need to get a credit report 225 00:13:19,103 --> 00:13:21,019 and fill out an application. 226 00:13:21,062 --> 00:13:23,126 And you paid off that student loan a while back, right? 227 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:26,458 Why would I pay it back if you never went to college? 228 00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,112 Because you still used it.Yeah. 229 00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:31,506 To invest in Neil's Hooters for Butts business. 230 00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:33,291 Ah, yes. Only a matter of time 231 00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:35,815 till you see that back-end. 232 00:13:35,859 --> 00:13:37,469 Can you, uh, hand me the tablet? 233 00:13:42,083 --> 00:13:43,563 Why are you doing that? 234 00:13:43,606 --> 00:13:46,347 Well, ladies always do it in the movies, 235 00:13:46,391 --> 00:13:48,481 and I wanted to feel fancy. 236 00:13:53,050 --> 00:13:55,704 Kev, thisis fancy. 237 00:13:55,748 --> 00:13:58,925 Look, it's got granite countertops and a mudroom. 238 00:13:58,969 --> 00:14:01,275 We could be Amherst Gates residents in one month. 239 00:14:01,319 --> 00:14:02,495 It's great, babe. It is. 240 00:14:02,538 --> 00:14:04,496 But, I mean 241 00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,324 do we have to go? 242 00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:09,544 Can't some things just stay the same anymore? 243 00:14:09,588 --> 00:14:12,373 We've saved for so long. We can cover the down payment. 244 00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,072 We can own a home. 245 00:14:14,115 --> 00:14:16,639 Is it really that much better than this place? 246 00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:24,343 It's not about the house, you know? 247 00:14:24,386 --> 00:14:25,953 It's a fresh start. 248 00:14:25,996 --> 00:14:28,913 We can be everything we always wanted. 249 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:32,045 I don't know what else we could be, but, 250 00:14:32,089 --> 00:14:33,786 but okay. 251 00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:35,049 Okay. 252 00:14:35,093 --> 00:14:38,096 What Allison wants, Allison gets. 253 00:14:38,139 --> 00:14:39,924 Good. 254 00:14:39,967 --> 00:14:41,161 'Cause I've already made an appointment at the bank 255 00:14:41,185 --> 00:14:42,337 first thing Monday morning after the party. 256 00:14:42,361 --> 00:14:44,579 Ah. What party? 257 00:14:44,623 --> 00:14:48,410 It's useless now that High and Mighty Harrison is coming. 258 00:14:48,453 --> 00:14:50,586 Being around him is constant work. 259 00:14:50,630 --> 00:14:54,415 Oh, you say the same thing about shoes with laces. 260 00:14:54,459 --> 00:14:57,723 I don't even see the point of a party anymore. 261 00:14:57,766 --> 00:14:59,290 Oh, God. 262 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,771 I've lost the will to rage! 263 00:15:02,815 --> 00:15:04,687 What is there even to live for anymore? 264 00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:15,001 Oh. 265 00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:17,135 Look at that closet space. 266 00:15:17,178 --> 00:15:18,396 Wow. 267 00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:21,747 So much room for cleaning products. 268 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,401 Oh, and that bedroom. 269 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,359 Ooh, I never wanna leave that bedroom. 270 00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,842 I can see us now. 271 00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,799 Lying in that bed. 272 00:15:30,843 --> 00:15:34,194 You're wearing some hot little thing. 273 00:15:34,238 --> 00:15:36,197 I'm wearing 274 00:15:36,241 --> 00:15:39,635 just a T-shirt. 275 00:15:39,679 --> 00:15:44,161 And we can finally do that thing you say we'll never do. 276 00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:46,991 We've had this discussion. 277 00:15:47,034 --> 00:15:48,775 Gotta embrace change, baby. 278 00:16:39,738 --> 00:16:41,673 You know, we never got to have parties in the seminary. 279 00:16:41,697 --> 00:16:44,017 So that's why you had to have sex with nuns... the boredom. 280 00:16:44,048 --> 00:16:46,006 What can I say? 281 00:16:46,049 --> 00:16:47,224 I got in the habit. 282 00:16:49,227 --> 00:16:50,837 Come on! 283 00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,404 It was just one nun, 284 00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,579 and please don't talk about my parents having sex. 285 00:16:55,972 --> 00:16:57,408 I thought for a second you canceled. 286 00:16:57,452 --> 00:16:58,671 Ah. Never! 287 00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,194 I had one of my strokes of genius! 288 00:17:00,238 --> 00:17:01,674 I wish I'd have those. 289 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,284 You know, instead of the regular strokes. 290 00:17:04,328 --> 00:17:06,722 I realized, I spend every Anniversa-rager 291 00:17:06,765 --> 00:17:08,289 putting out fires. 292 00:17:08,332 --> 00:17:11,030 That was one time, and your eyebrows grew back. 293 00:17:11,075 --> 00:17:13,293 Mr. Harrison is a tiny hiccup. 294 00:17:13,338 --> 00:17:15,861 We just gotta keep him away from our party. 295 00:17:15,905 --> 00:17:19,170 So, we're gonna have another fancy, boring-person party 296 00:17:19,213 --> 00:17:22,215 for him in the living room that you get to throw. 297 00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:24,088 "Get to"? 298 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,133 You'll distract Harrison with wine 299 00:17:26,176 --> 00:17:27,916 and tiny crackers in the living room, 300 00:17:27,961 --> 00:17:29,789 and I'll take care of the real party. 301 00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:31,245 Okay, but you really think he's not gonna notice 302 00:17:31,269 --> 00:17:33,052 a party in the next room? 303 00:17:33,097 --> 00:17:37,057 We're having our party in the backyard, Allison. 304 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,406 Think of the kitchen as a buffer between the two, 305 00:17:39,451 --> 00:17:42,322 and you... you're the most important part of the plan. 306 00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:43,715 You're the gatekeeper. 307 00:17:43,759 --> 00:17:45,152 Like St. Peter. 308 00:17:45,195 --> 00:17:46,501 But more judgmental. 309 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,592 I have always wanted to have the boss over for dinner. 310 00:17:51,636 --> 00:17:53,508 It's what people do, right? Great. 311 00:17:53,551 --> 00:17:55,944 Then since it's also yourparty, 312 00:17:55,989 --> 00:17:58,383 you get to pick up the supplies. 313 00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:00,601 "Get to"? 314 00:18:00,645 --> 00:18:02,908 Okay, but if I do this, you have to behave, okay? 315 00:18:02,952 --> 00:18:04,911 No liquor. Only beer. 316 00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,410 We have that appointment at the bank first thing tomorrow. 317 00:18:06,434 --> 00:18:08,957 Hey, I'll take it easy like Sunday morning. 318 00:18:09,001 --> 00:18:10,221 It's Monday morning. What? 319 00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:11,961 Huh? 320 00:18:12,004 --> 00:18:13,615 Just don't go crazy, okay? 321 00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:15,399 We need the bank guy to believe 322 00:18:15,443 --> 00:18:17,116 that we're the kind of people who deserve a new house. 323 00:18:17,140 --> 00:18:19,578 You're not actually moving, right? 324 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,729 This is like when you said you were going back to school? 325 00:18:21,753 --> 00:18:24,147 Or when you wanted to go to Paris? 326 00:18:24,191 --> 00:18:25,995 Yeah, we'll just kinda all pretend it's happening 327 00:18:26,019 --> 00:18:27,889 until you come to your senses? 328 00:18:27,934 --> 00:18:29,761 Nope. You and your sister 329 00:18:29,805 --> 00:18:31,415 are gonna have new neighbors to torture. 330 00:18:31,459 --> 00:18:33,026 It's happening, Neil. 331 00:18:35,942 --> 00:18:38,030 Oh. 332 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,466 I don't want you to overreact... 333 00:18:39,511 --> 00:18:41,599 I'm dying inside! 334 00:18:44,385 --> 00:18:45,994 And outside! 335 00:18:49,825 --> 00:18:51,392 Should we... I'm good. 336 00:19:22,379 --> 00:19:24,164 Give me the lip stain in candy apple. 337 00:19:27,906 --> 00:19:29,386 Please. 338 00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:38,438 Ugh. 339 00:19:38,482 --> 00:19:40,092 Kevin? 340 00:19:40,136 --> 00:19:43,313 Oh. Talk slower. 341 00:19:43,357 --> 00:19:44,576 Okay. 342 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,055 Please stop saying "meats." 343 00:19:46,098 --> 00:19:47,926 Meats! 344 00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:50,015 I just found out that Mr. Harrison goes nuts 345 00:19:50,059 --> 00:19:51,973 for those fancy cheese and meat plates, 346 00:19:52,018 --> 00:19:54,194 so I need you to pick one up. 347 00:19:54,238 --> 00:19:55,847 Because I'm busy. 348 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:58,589 I'm auditioning Tom Brady look-alikes for the party. 349 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:05,684 Tampa Bay is trash, man. 350 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,119 People adore you here. 351 00:20:10,036 --> 00:20:13,257 You should've stayed. 352 00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,450 Well, I had a great run in New England, and I... 353 00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:16,260 Why does everybody leave?! 354 00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,653 Neil, buddy, take it easy. 355 00:20:18,696 --> 00:20:20,873 We're gonna be okay. 356 00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,656 Meats and cheeses. 357 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,932 Man: Hey, honey. 358 00:20:36,975 --> 00:20:39,282 A smile looks nice on you. 359 00:20:39,326 --> 00:20:41,415 Hey, you wanna see if you pass inspection? 360 00:20:41,459 --> 00:20:42,460 No thanks. It's a joke. 361 00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:43,938 It's a joke. 362 00:20:43,982 --> 00:20:44,678 If you wanna party in the back, though... 363 00:20:44,722 --> 00:20:46,245 No. 364 00:20:46,290 --> 00:20:48,250 Well, I'm here all the time, you change your mind. 365 00:21:04,742 --> 00:21:06,178 Um, hi. 366 00:21:06,222 --> 00:21:07,765 I was hoping to get a coffee and that maybe 367 00:21:07,789 --> 00:21:09,661 you had a charcuterie plate. 368 00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:11,879 The charcuterie plate is on our catering menu, 369 00:21:11,924 --> 00:21:13,074 so you'd have to place those order... 370 00:21:13,098 --> 00:21:14,360 Aah. Aah! 371 00:21:14,405 --> 00:21:15,492 Shit. Shit. 372 00:21:15,536 --> 00:21:17,538 Oh! 373 00:21:17,581 --> 00:21:18,626 Sam. 374 00:21:18,670 --> 00:21:20,193 Allie. 375 00:21:20,236 --> 00:21:22,107 Hi. 376 00:21:22,151 --> 00:21:24,153 Thought I might see you at some point. 377 00:21:24,196 --> 00:21:25,894 You look... No. 378 00:21:25,937 --> 00:21:27,678 Exactly the same. 379 00:21:29,028 --> 00:21:32,944 Uh, h... wh... You, uh, moved back? 380 00:21:32,988 --> 00:21:35,599 And you work at a diner? 381 00:21:35,643 --> 00:21:37,558 Close. I moved back, 382 00:21:37,601 --> 00:21:40,560 and I owna diner. 383 00:21:40,605 --> 00:21:42,780 This is yours? 384 00:21:42,824 --> 00:21:44,478 Okay. 385 00:21:44,521 --> 00:21:47,437 Oh, yeah, well, I'm surprised I didn't recognize you. 386 00:21:47,481 --> 00:21:49,917 Well, market research shows people in New England 387 00:21:49,962 --> 00:21:53,791 like diners where they think a white lady cooks the food. 388 00:21:53,835 --> 00:21:56,011 Doesn't market research also show that. 389 00:21:56,055 --> 00:21:58,207 Worcester is not the best place to open a yuppie diner? 390 00:21:58,231 --> 00:21:59,537 You'd be surprised. 391 00:21:59,579 --> 00:22:00,972 Worcester's an up-and-coming city. 392 00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:02,713 No, it's not. No, it's not. 393 00:22:02,757 --> 00:22:05,499 Oh. 394 00:22:05,542 --> 00:22:06,761 But I wanted to come back. 395 00:22:06,805 --> 00:22:09,286 But why? You got out. 396 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,242 You got to live in New York City. 397 00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:12,244 Well, Syracuse. 398 00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:14,029 Okay, well, aNew York city. 399 00:22:17,293 --> 00:22:19,383 So, what'd I miss the last 15 years? 400 00:22:19,425 --> 00:22:21,036 In Worcester? 401 00:22:21,079 --> 00:22:23,038 Um. 402 00:22:23,081 --> 00:22:24,561 Oh. 403 00:22:24,605 --> 00:22:26,999 There were, like, three new traffic plans 404 00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:28,869 for Kelly Square that you missed out on. 405 00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,395 So... condolences.Mm. 406 00:22:31,437 --> 00:22:33,657 I must be crazy coming back here. 407 00:22:33,701 --> 00:22:36,964 Yeah. So, um, why did you? 408 00:22:37,009 --> 00:22:40,578 Kinda just pulls you back. 409 00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:43,624 Yeah. I get it. 410 00:22:43,667 --> 00:22:46,192 Uh, so, how long you been back, and where you staying? 411 00:22:46,234 --> 00:22:49,542 Well, uh, Jenn's parents are still in their old house. 412 00:22:49,587 --> 00:22:50,892 Right. 413 00:22:50,935 --> 00:22:52,043 We're actually renovating a place 414 00:22:52,067 --> 00:22:53,547 down near the old water tower. 415 00:22:53,590 --> 00:22:54,765 Ah. 416 00:22:54,809 --> 00:22:57,985 Happy for you. 417 00:22:58,030 --> 00:23:00,640 Okay. Um, well, I'm gonna get going. 418 00:23:00,684 --> 00:23:02,314 Hold on. I can make that charcuterie plate for you. 419 00:23:02,338 --> 00:23:03,837 No, don't worry about it. I don't mind. Really, I'm... 420 00:23:03,861 --> 00:23:06,733 I can take care of it. 421 00:23:06,778 --> 00:23:08,432 But thank you. 422 00:23:22,315 --> 00:23:23,882 Hmm. 423 00:23:23,924 --> 00:23:25,468 I shoulda known you'd be trouble when you tried 424 00:23:25,492 --> 00:23:27,406 to drop your accent in high school. 425 00:23:37,677 --> 00:23:39,723 Meats. 426 00:23:45,946 --> 00:23:47,687 Hey. Hey. 427 00:23:49,690 --> 00:23:52,126 What? 428 00:23:52,171 --> 00:23:53,738 Nothing. 429 00:24:06,358 --> 00:24:08,447 Wow. Some party. 430 00:24:08,492 --> 00:24:09,884 Uh, it's 431 00:24:09,927 --> 00:24:11,103 elegant. 432 00:24:11,145 --> 00:24:14,193 It's understated. It's dead. 433 00:24:14,235 --> 00:24:16,170 Can't you get some of the people from outside to come in here? 434 00:24:16,194 --> 00:24:17,152 I could use a few bodies. 435 00:24:17,195 --> 00:24:19,546 Babe, it's ouranniversary. 436 00:24:19,589 --> 00:24:20,914 Of course I'm not gonna ask my friends 437 00:24:20,938 --> 00:24:23,115 to come to this lame thing. 438 00:24:23,157 --> 00:24:24,571 You can ask some of your dad's friends. 439 00:24:24,595 --> 00:24:26,528 No, no, no. They're outside revving up the tattoo gun. 440 00:24:26,552 --> 00:24:28,293 Oh. 441 00:24:28,337 --> 00:24:30,078 This whole event is a finely tuned machine. 442 00:24:30,121 --> 00:24:31,403 Why are you trying to mess with it? 443 00:24:31,427 --> 00:24:33,733 I'm anxious. We have to be up early. 444 00:24:33,778 --> 00:24:35,300 I'm already thinking about cleanup. 445 00:24:35,344 --> 00:24:36,930 So, we're having a party and you're thinking 446 00:24:36,954 --> 00:24:38,652 about cleaning up? 447 00:24:38,695 --> 00:24:41,175 I always forget mental illness runs in your family. 448 00:24:43,527 --> 00:24:45,484 I brought the name tags. 449 00:24:45,529 --> 00:24:47,748 I'm pretty sure we already know each other's names. 450 00:24:47,791 --> 00:24:49,184 "Kelvin"? Yeah. 451 00:24:49,228 --> 00:24:51,404 Kevin McRoberts has some complaints 452 00:24:51,447 --> 00:24:53,100 on the ol' cable company record, 453 00:24:53,145 --> 00:24:55,190 so when Bossman Harrison got hired, 454 00:24:55,233 --> 00:25:00,979 I introduced myself as Kelvin McLoberts. 455 00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,023 Hey, no permanent marker on the coffee table. 456 00:25:03,068 --> 00:25:04,524 This is from Pottery... Goodwill. 457 00:25:04,548 --> 00:25:06,549 It's Pottery Barn. 458 00:25:06,592 --> 00:25:09,248 I gotta get outside, control the flow. 459 00:25:09,290 --> 00:25:11,618 I can't be stuck in here waiting for my pain-in-the-ass boss, 460 00:25:11,642 --> 00:25:13,686 Mr. H-Harrison. 461 00:25:13,731 --> 00:25:15,427 Welcome. 462 00:25:15,472 --> 00:25:18,518 We were just discussing a new TV show. 463 00:25:18,561 --> 00:25:19,998 "Ass Boss." 464 00:25:22,827 --> 00:25:24,175 Kelvin. Whoa. 465 00:25:24,219 --> 00:25:25,960 Geez. 466 00:25:26,003 --> 00:25:27,546 Haven't had something this fancy since communion. 467 00:25:27,570 --> 00:25:28,963 Oh. 468 00:25:29,007 --> 00:25:31,357 Mr. Harrison, so glad you could come. 469 00:25:31,399 --> 00:25:32,750 Mrs. McLoberts. 470 00:25:32,792 --> 00:25:34,446 Strong handshake from a little lady. 471 00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:36,710 Most women develop osteoporosis by 50. 472 00:25:36,753 --> 00:25:38,145 Good for you. 473 00:25:38,190 --> 00:25:39,452 50? I'm not even close. 474 00:25:39,495 --> 00:25:41,801 Ooh, is that a charcuterie plate? 475 00:25:41,846 --> 00:25:44,195 It sure is. 476 00:25:44,239 --> 00:25:47,851 Oh, thank God. You're needed outside ASAP. 477 00:25:47,895 --> 00:25:50,418 The Tom Bradys are saying they can beat anyone at flip cup, 478 00:25:50,463 --> 00:25:51,985 and they called you out by name. 479 00:25:56,599 --> 00:25:58,819 Mr. Harrison? Uh, this is my neighbor Neil. 480 00:25:58,863 --> 00:26:03,171 Hi, I'm Kelvin's neighbor and closest companion, Neil. 481 00:26:03,214 --> 00:26:04,627 He needs me to help him with a problem 482 00:26:04,651 --> 00:26:05,826 in his house for a moment. 483 00:26:05,869 --> 00:26:07,435 His plumbing... Caught on fire. 484 00:26:10,875 --> 00:26:12,745 Yup. His plumbing caught on fire. 485 00:26:14,835 --> 00:26:16,595 The gas lines got tangled up with the water pipes. 486 00:26:16,619 --> 00:26:18,185 It happens more than you think. 487 00:26:18,230 --> 00:26:20,145 Yeah. I should go deal with that. 488 00:26:20,187 --> 00:26:22,016 Yeah. Now? 489 00:26:22,059 --> 00:26:23,582 'Cause the party just started. 490 00:26:23,626 --> 00:26:25,802 I know. But I'm needed elsewhere. 491 00:26:35,551 --> 00:26:37,728 It's nice to have good neighbors. 492 00:26:37,770 --> 00:26:39,556 Yeah. 493 00:26:42,253 --> 00:26:44,299 Well, uh, don't ruin your dinner. 494 00:26:44,342 --> 00:26:45,909 I made quail. Oh. 495 00:26:52,742 --> 00:26:55,658 Can I just ask 496 00:26:55,702 --> 00:26:59,010 do you have a mudroom? 497 00:26:59,052 --> 00:27:01,055 I do. 498 00:27:01,098 --> 00:27:02,622 Great. 499 00:27:16,156 --> 00:27:19,203 I... 500 00:27:19,246 --> 00:27:21,075 like your coffee table. 501 00:27:21,118 --> 00:27:22,424 Thank you. 502 00:27:30,301 --> 00:27:33,130 Can I get you a glass of wine? 503 00:27:33,174 --> 00:27:34,915 Alright. 504 00:27:34,959 --> 00:27:36,134 Great. 505 00:27:36,176 --> 00:27:37,701 I'll be right back. 506 00:28:12,344 --> 00:28:14,085 No, no, no. Where'd he go? 507 00:28:18,219 --> 00:28:20,308 Guys, guys, be cool. I don't think he's into this. 508 00:28:20,351 --> 00:28:22,876 - What the hell? - Gah! 509 00:28:24,964 --> 00:28:27,576 Kelvin, I never... I-It was Allison's idea! 510 00:28:27,619 --> 00:28:29,709 I never get to be one of the boys! 511 00:28:30,927 --> 00:28:32,103 Wait, what? 512 00:28:32,145 --> 00:28:34,105 Nobody invites me anywhere! 513 00:28:34,147 --> 00:28:35,975 People forget that behind the grandeur 514 00:28:36,020 --> 00:28:38,152 of "regional director of installation," 515 00:28:38,195 --> 00:28:40,459 I'm just a man. 516 00:28:40,501 --> 00:28:42,678 A man who likes the simple things in life. 517 00:28:42,722 --> 00:28:44,549 Like shotgunning brewskies with guys 518 00:28:44,592 --> 00:28:47,422 who slightly resemble Tom Brady. 519 00:28:47,465 --> 00:28:49,990 He's my fourth cousin. 520 00:28:50,033 --> 00:28:52,210 Sure he is, bro. 521 00:28:52,252 --> 00:28:54,472 I knew you were gonna be a good time. 522 00:28:54,515 --> 00:28:56,016 That's why I made sure Brenda invited you. 523 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,606 She didn't. 524 00:28:57,649 --> 00:28:58,651 She didn't invite me. 525 00:28:58,694 --> 00:29:00,392 Aw. Damn Brenda! 526 00:29:00,434 --> 00:29:02,742 Doesn't think I can hang. 527 00:29:02,786 --> 00:29:03,829 What? 528 00:29:03,874 --> 00:29:06,832 Has she seen you do that? 529 00:29:06,876 --> 00:29:08,878 I'm so glad I made it. 530 00:29:08,922 --> 00:29:13,447 And now that the party's finally getting good, thank God. 531 00:29:13,492 --> 00:29:14,816 Why don't you join us in the backyard? 532 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,842 We can do another beer bong hit out there. 533 00:29:16,886 --> 00:29:19,411 Uh, you think we can do it with a nice Pinot this time? 534 00:29:19,453 --> 00:29:20,673 Sure. 535 00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:45,349 Mm. 536 00:30:14,683 --> 00:30:15,902 Everyone! 537 00:30:15,945 --> 00:30:17,207 Everyone! 538 00:30:17,251 --> 00:30:18,686 Listen up! 539 00:30:18,731 --> 00:30:21,080 This has truly been my best party yet! 540 00:30:22,473 --> 00:30:23,867 Happy anniversary! 541 00:30:23,909 --> 00:30:25,868 Oh. Is it somebody's anniversary? 542 00:30:25,912 --> 00:30:29,262 Congrats! Thank you! 543 00:30:29,307 --> 00:30:31,438 But I also wanna use my party 544 00:30:31,482 --> 00:30:35,617 to share some news about a life-changing move. 545 00:30:35,661 --> 00:30:37,315 Where's Allison? 546 00:30:37,357 --> 00:30:38,682 Can we get Allison up here? There she is. 547 00:30:38,706 --> 00:30:39,838 Come here, babe. 548 00:30:41,753 --> 00:30:44,670 Come on up. Yeah, up here. Come on. 549 00:30:44,713 --> 00:30:47,541 Uh, we both want to thank you all for coming, uh, 550 00:30:47,586 --> 00:30:50,067 but especially Mr. Harrison. 551 00:30:50,109 --> 00:30:52,503 Yeah. Terry. 552 00:30:52,547 --> 00:30:54,636 Because Terry has just offered me 553 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,117 the opportunity of a lifetime. 554 00:30:57,161 --> 00:31:03,036 Terry is moving me over from cable to fiber optics. 555 00:31:03,079 --> 00:31:04,732 So, you know what that means. 556 00:31:04,777 --> 00:31:06,560 No.Wait. 557 00:31:06,605 --> 00:31:08,520 Are you saying... Oh, yes, Neil. 558 00:31:08,562 --> 00:31:10,739 We decided we're staying. 559 00:31:10,782 --> 00:31:11,782 We did? 560 00:31:20,010 --> 00:31:22,098 I thought you said this was from Pottery Barn. 561 00:31:32,761 --> 00:31:34,762 He's drunk. He's not gonna remember this. 562 00:31:34,807 --> 00:31:37,327 We're going, we're going, we're going, we're going, we're going. 563 00:31:42,858 --> 00:31:44,382 Ow! God! 564 00:31:44,424 --> 00:31:45,512 Crap! Mother eff... 565 00:31:45,557 --> 00:31:47,732 My God.Oh. 566 00:31:47,776 --> 00:31:49,560 Just swear. 567 00:31:49,604 --> 00:31:51,432 "Eff" is so much worse. 568 00:31:54,957 --> 00:31:56,568 You throwing a little tantrum out here? 569 00:31:56,610 --> 00:31:58,743 Just getting some fresh air. 570 00:31:58,787 --> 00:32:00,571 Oh. And the mailbox offended you. 571 00:32:02,138 --> 00:32:03,791 Oh. 572 00:32:03,836 --> 00:32:05,403 It's a party. 573 00:32:05,445 --> 00:32:06,751 Not death row. 574 00:32:09,886 --> 00:32:11,123 Do you ever think about maybe trying to have 575 00:32:11,147 --> 00:32:13,759 just a little bit of fun? 576 00:32:13,801 --> 00:32:15,605 I'm not talking about scoring crack or anything, 577 00:32:15,629 --> 00:32:20,243 but maybe indulge in a hard seltzer? 578 00:32:20,287 --> 00:32:21,767 I don't feel like celebrating. 579 00:32:21,809 --> 00:32:24,596 Oh, right. Silly me. 580 00:32:24,638 --> 00:32:26,660 We're all in mourning 'cause Barbie lost out on her. 581 00:32:26,684 --> 00:32:28,773 Dream House. It's not about the house! 582 00:32:31,037 --> 00:32:33,605 I'm just s-so tired. 583 00:32:33,647 --> 00:32:36,173 Yeah. Who sleeps these days? 584 00:32:36,215 --> 00:32:38,217 Oh, Jesus, I mean mentally. 585 00:32:38,261 --> 00:32:41,003 Aren't you? 586 00:32:41,047 --> 00:32:42,614 I wake up, I go to the salon, 587 00:32:42,656 --> 00:32:44,025 I come home, I watch a game with the guys. 588 00:32:44,049 --> 00:32:46,574 In between, there are a few Dunkie's coffees 589 00:32:46,617 --> 00:32:48,140 and a pack of menthols. 590 00:32:48,184 --> 00:32:50,099 You're okay with that? 591 00:32:50,143 --> 00:32:51,990 Everyone knows what their life's gonna look like in 10, 592 00:32:52,014 --> 00:32:54,320 20 years. 593 00:32:54,365 --> 00:32:58,020 Pretending things'll change is how they sell washing machines. 594 00:32:58,063 --> 00:33:00,414 I'm just... I'm tired of trying. 595 00:33:02,721 --> 00:33:04,941 I feel like nothing I do is ever enough. 596 00:33:07,159 --> 00:33:12,383 I really think if I could start over and go somewhere else 597 00:33:12,425 --> 00:33:13,992 and just do everything right this time, 598 00:33:14,037 --> 00:33:15,428 I can finally be 599 00:33:17,735 --> 00:33:21,043 like, done. 600 00:33:21,087 --> 00:33:22,696 Is that insane? 601 00:33:27,441 --> 00:33:30,270 You know how many people come to my salon every week 602 00:33:30,313 --> 00:33:33,707 thinking a perm will solve all their problems? 603 00:33:33,751 --> 00:33:36,059 I mean 604 00:33:36,101 --> 00:33:38,844 maybe you're insane, 605 00:33:38,886 --> 00:33:39,932 but you're not alone. 606 00:33:43,717 --> 00:33:47,417 Calling me crazy is the nicest you ever been to me. 607 00:33:47,461 --> 00:33:48,984 You're welcome. 608 00:33:51,551 --> 00:33:54,425 But this isn't just a perm. 609 00:33:54,467 --> 00:33:57,036 I'm not giving up on this. I can't. 610 00:33:57,079 --> 00:33:59,212 I can get Kevin to that bank tomorrow morning. 611 00:33:59,255 --> 00:34:01,040 I-I don't care if he's still 612 00:34:01,083 --> 00:34:04,521 taking pulls off a handle of tequila. 613 00:34:04,565 --> 00:34:07,741 I know it doesn't seem like it, but I know how to work Kevin. 614 00:34:07,786 --> 00:34:09,570 He's capable of stuff. 615 00:34:09,614 --> 00:34:11,529 Like how I got him to remember our anniversary. 616 00:34:11,572 --> 00:34:14,226 You just have to make him think that it's his idea. 617 00:34:14,271 --> 00:34:15,315 You know? We can still... 618 00:34:15,358 --> 00:34:18,317 Jesus, Allison. 619 00:34:18,362 --> 00:34:19,666 What? 620 00:34:19,710 --> 00:34:22,496 Come on. Wake the hell up. 621 00:34:22,540 --> 00:34:25,108 There's no "we" in there. 622 00:34:25,150 --> 00:34:28,023 What the hell do you know? 623 00:34:28,067 --> 00:34:29,566 Nobody thinks that we're leaving, but I promise you... 624 00:34:29,590 --> 00:34:31,157 The account's empty. 625 00:34:34,333 --> 00:34:36,771 What? 626 00:34:36,815 --> 00:34:40,340 The weekly savings thing. 627 00:34:40,384 --> 00:34:43,777 It's gone. 628 00:34:43,822 --> 00:34:45,146 That's not possible, 'cause I was there 629 00:34:45,170 --> 00:34:47,956 when we opened the account. 630 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,221 Like 10 years ago, and then you let himkeep track of the money. 631 00:34:51,264 --> 00:34:53,483 'Cause I'm bad with money. 632 00:34:53,527 --> 00:34:56,181 You think he's better? 633 00:34:56,226 --> 00:34:57,965 Come on. How many times a week 634 00:34:58,009 --> 00:34:59,489 does a package come to this house? 635 00:34:59,532 --> 00:35:00,814 All you gotta do is pay attention. 636 00:35:00,838 --> 00:35:02,362 He wouldn't go into that account. 637 00:35:05,148 --> 00:35:07,585 A few years ago, he got into some hot water 638 00:35:07,628 --> 00:35:11,501 trading fake sports memorabilia. 639 00:35:11,545 --> 00:35:15,679 He asked Neil for money, who of course came to me. 640 00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:18,335 He said you have nothing. 641 00:35:21,641 --> 00:35:26,299 But we were gonna leave... start over. 642 00:35:26,342 --> 00:35:28,692 He said that things were gonna change. 643 00:35:36,179 --> 00:35:38,746 They were never gonna change. 644 00:35:41,661 --> 00:35:43,186 They're never gonna change. 645 00:35:50,628 --> 00:35:51,585 Oh. 646 00:35:51,628 --> 00:35:54,413 I'm sorry. 647 00:35:54,458 --> 00:35:56,067 Fuck! 648 00:36:43,462 --> 00:36:45,291 Gah! 649 00:36:50,253 --> 00:36:53,038 That's littering, sweetie. 650 00:36:53,081 --> 00:36:54,387 You can get in trouble for that. 651 00:37:07,357 --> 00:37:10,708 I'm a bad driver. I've accepted that. 652 00:37:10,750 --> 00:37:13,623 I'm a bad driver with split ends and an overbite. 653 00:37:17,715 --> 00:37:20,500 Ah. 654 00:37:20,543 --> 00:37:22,458 When my husband's in the car with me, he says, 655 00:37:22,501 --> 00:37:25,375 "Oh, you shouldn't drive so slow. 656 00:37:25,418 --> 00:37:27,135 Oh, don't let so many people pull out in front of you. 657 00:37:27,159 --> 00:37:30,728 Uh, you should use your horn more." 658 00:37:30,771 --> 00:37:32,076 I get nervous behind the wheel, 659 00:37:32,119 --> 00:37:34,427 and driving's all about confidence. 660 00:37:34,471 --> 00:37:37,561 So, that's why I'm not a good driver. 661 00:37:37,603 --> 00:37:38,866 I'm a bad driver. 662 00:37:41,782 --> 00:37:45,177 But, you know, I've been thinking. 663 00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:47,527 I've never been in an accident. 664 00:37:47,570 --> 00:37:50,965 And I can drive stick, I can parallel park, 665 00:37:51,009 --> 00:37:52,750 I can merge, and, you know, 666 00:37:52,793 --> 00:37:56,884 I actually think that I actually used to enjoy driving. 667 00:37:59,583 --> 00:38:01,498 Oh, I like this. 668 00:38:04,456 --> 00:38:06,764 But we have one car, and he doesn't have to share it. 669 00:38:06,806 --> 00:38:08,547 He doesn't have to share anything. 670 00:38:08,592 --> 00:38:10,288 He gets me all to himself, 671 00:38:10,333 --> 00:38:11,942 'cause I never went back to school, 672 00:38:11,985 --> 00:38:13,572 and he says that's 'cause I never finish things. 673 00:38:13,596 --> 00:38:16,599 But do I never finish things, 674 00:38:16,643 --> 00:38:18,992 or does he take them from me? 675 00:38:22,431 --> 00:38:24,737 Am I bad at driving, or does he want the car? 676 00:38:27,045 --> 00:38:29,308 As long as I had this thing... this just... 677 00:38:29,351 --> 00:38:31,962 Like, this image of what I... 678 00:38:32,005 --> 00:38:35,052 What we could be, I had something to hope for. 679 00:38:35,096 --> 00:38:38,491 But now I try to picture anything good, and... 680 00:38:45,454 --> 00:38:46,954 Like, what the hell are you supposed to do 681 00:38:46,978 --> 00:38:48,434 if you can't close your eyes and picture a future 682 00:38:48,458 --> 00:38:50,329 where everything's okay? 683 00:38:50,373 --> 00:38:52,112 Because dreaming's useless with him around, 684 00:38:52,157 --> 00:38:55,378 so, what, do I just go numb? 685 00:38:55,420 --> 00:38:58,597 Oh, yeah, that'll happen. That shit's real pure. 686 00:38:58,641 --> 00:39:01,558 What? 687 00:39:01,601 --> 00:39:02,949 No. 688 00:39:02,994 --> 00:39:04,996 You aren't listening. 689 00:39:05,038 --> 00:39:07,563 I'm a... I'm a customer, 690 00:39:07,607 --> 00:39:11,654 and you couldn't be bothered just to pay attention? 691 00:39:11,697 --> 00:39:13,657 Is the sound of my voice impossible to hear? 692 00:39:13,699 --> 00:39:16,616 'Cause if you're having trouble, I can go louder, you dick! 693 00:39:16,659 --> 00:39:18,226 Aah! 694 00:39:18,270 --> 00:39:19,358 What the hell, lady?! 695 00:39:19,402 --> 00:39:20,967 Oh, my God. 696 00:39:21,012 --> 00:39:23,188 Oh, shit, Marcus, that bitch bitch-slapped you. 697 00:39:23,230 --> 00:39:25,103 Oh, I am so sorry. 698 00:39:27,235 --> 00:39:29,020 No, you know what? 699 00:39:29,063 --> 00:39:31,152 I'm not sorry. 700 00:39:31,195 --> 00:39:32,806 The hell with that. I deserve... 701 00:39:32,849 --> 00:39:34,286 Oh! I'm sorry. 702 00:39:34,329 --> 00:39:36,244 Sorry. 703 00:39:36,288 --> 00:39:38,159 You should really ice that. 704 00:39:51,737 --> 00:39:54,306 Patty: Wow. 705 00:39:54,349 --> 00:39:56,177 Kevin thought you were out for a run. 706 00:39:56,221 --> 00:39:58,831 What the hell have you been doing? 707 00:39:58,875 --> 00:40:01,444 Um, I was sort of running. 708 00:40:01,487 --> 00:40:03,096 Why are we talking like this? 709 00:40:03,141 --> 00:40:04,771 Kevin's in the kitchen. He's gonna surprise you. 710 00:40:04,795 --> 00:40:07,101 With what? 711 00:40:07,145 --> 00:40:09,451 Hold on. 712 00:40:09,494 --> 00:40:11,061 Oh. 713 00:40:11,105 --> 00:40:13,237 Oh. Caught me. 714 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,326 I, uh, had a bit of a rough morning 715 00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:17,721 and I needed a few jelly Munchkins. 716 00:40:18,808 --> 00:40:23,248 So, um, did you tell him I know about the account? 717 00:40:23,291 --> 00:40:25,380 Tell Kevin I ratted him out? Come on. 718 00:40:25,424 --> 00:40:29,688 He had a feud with the mail woman and got her deported. 719 00:40:29,733 --> 00:40:31,603 Yeah. 720 00:40:31,648 --> 00:40:33,344 That's why you waited years to tell me? 721 00:40:36,347 --> 00:40:37,828 Hey. 722 00:40:39,655 --> 00:40:42,222 Are you okay? 723 00:40:42,266 --> 00:40:44,400 I have no idea. 724 00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:52,058 Uh... babe, I'm sorry I passed out 725 00:40:52,103 --> 00:40:54,322 in your rose bushes last night. 726 00:40:54,366 --> 00:40:56,933 We don't have rose bushes. 727 00:40:56,976 --> 00:40:58,500 Well, where'd you pass out? 728 00:40:58,543 --> 00:41:01,112 'Cause you look 729 00:41:01,154 --> 00:41:03,505 wonderful. 730 00:41:03,549 --> 00:41:06,246 Very quick. I think she bought it. 731 00:41:06,291 --> 00:41:07,945 This looks fun. 732 00:41:07,987 --> 00:41:10,425 Yeah, well, I know I had too much liquor last night, 733 00:41:10,469 --> 00:41:13,516 and when I woke up with rose thorns in my tongue, 734 00:41:13,558 --> 00:41:15,431 I realized you're right. 735 00:41:15,474 --> 00:41:17,389 It's time to grow up. I gotta change. 736 00:41:17,433 --> 00:41:20,565 So, no more Anniversa-ragers. 737 00:41:20,610 --> 00:41:24,483 Wow. I decided that we should celebrate your way, 738 00:41:24,527 --> 00:41:26,353 do what you wanted this whole time... 739 00:41:26,398 --> 00:41:28,052 A boring dinner. A grown-up dinner! 740 00:41:28,094 --> 00:41:29,967 A grown-up dinner. 741 00:41:30,009 --> 00:41:32,186 In the morning. 742 00:41:32,230 --> 00:41:34,145 Wait. If this is dinner, 743 00:41:34,188 --> 00:41:37,190 that means beers are fair game. 744 00:41:37,235 --> 00:41:41,152 Neil, ideas like that are why I keep you around. 745 00:41:41,195 --> 00:41:44,764 Allison, you mind? 746 00:41:44,808 --> 00:41:47,201 And, babe, uh, about moving? 747 00:41:47,244 --> 00:41:49,203 You know, that money in the bank is... 748 00:41:49,246 --> 00:41:52,032 It's only gonna grow, and if you pick up a few more shifts 749 00:41:52,076 --> 00:41:54,121 at the package store, we're gonna be able to move 750 00:41:54,165 --> 00:41:56,384 wherever your little heart desires. 751 00:41:56,427 --> 00:41:59,431 What Allison wants, Allison gets. 752 00:42:16,143 --> 00:42:17,797 Shit, Kevin! 753 00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,233 Kevin! What did you do?! 754 00:42:38,904 --> 00:42:41,038 What? 755 00:42:41,081 --> 00:42:43,518 You... broke it. 756 00:42:46,608 --> 00:42:49,175 Whoa! Ms. Hercules over here! 757 00:42:50,308 --> 00:42:51,657 Is that blood? 758 00:42:51,701 --> 00:42:53,224 It doesn't mean you get to be moody. 759 00:42:53,266 --> 00:42:55,139 You already used that excuse once this month. 760 00:42:57,489 --> 00:42:58,837 I'll be fine. 761 00:42:58,882 --> 00:43:01,188 Honey, go bandage that hand. 762 00:43:01,232 --> 00:43:03,016 We still got dinner at breakfast, 763 00:43:03,059 --> 00:43:05,192 and I can't wait to see what you're gonna cook. 764 00:43:28,128 --> 00:43:30,608 On the next "Kevin Can Himself"... 765 00:43:30,652 --> 00:43:33,742 I'm the gift that keeps on giving, baby. 766 00:43:33,786 --> 00:43:36,136 - That's crazy. - That's marriage. 767 00:43:37,529 --> 00:43:39,574 You blew up my life. Was that just for fun? 768 00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:41,054 I felt sorry for you. 769 00:43:42,186 --> 00:43:43,882 I actually wanted to talk. 770 00:43:43,927 --> 00:43:45,145 To me? 771 00:43:45,188 --> 00:43:46,625 How did you do it? 772 00:43:46,668 --> 00:43:49,105 I killed him with oxycodone, and made it look like an OD. 773 00:43:49,148 --> 00:43:50,148 Yeah!