1
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,180
Well, Jackie, some things never change.

2
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,800
Millions of dollars and still no life.

3
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,040
Dad?

4
00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:15,900
You're looking for Roseanne.

5
00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:17,700
She had to go back to the mall.

6
00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:20,860
All the kids went to see that Dalmatian
movie.

7
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:22,718
Some coffee?

8
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:23,720
No.

9
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,040
Hey,

10
00:00:25,780 --> 00:00:26,780
how's your mom doing? Good.

11
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,300
She's good, real good.

12
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,300
Because I know we didn't get to...

13
00:00:31,150 --> 00:00:33,790
You know, with all the holiday stuff
going on and everything, and I just

14
00:00:33,790 --> 00:00:37,670
wondered what you were doing to kill
time out there in California.

15
00:00:38,050 --> 00:00:41,290
Well, you know, I got my mom set up at
the facility, and I saw some sights,

16
00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:42,450
drove up the coast.

17
00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:44,590
That's about it.

18
00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:48,190
Oh, I spent a lot of time picking
avocados off my sandwiches. They put it

19
00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:49,190
everything out there.

20
00:00:50,490 --> 00:00:52,870
Well, you were out there for a couple of
months, though. Did you meet anybody

21
00:00:52,870 --> 00:00:53,870
interesting?

22
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,830
Hey, I saw Don Rickles at a gas station.

23
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,390
That hockey puck.

24
00:01:00,650 --> 00:01:02,050
But nobody else, though, huh?

25
00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,989
Well, I didn't go out there celebrity
stalking.

26
00:01:05,810 --> 00:01:08,890
Well, what would you do on an average
day? Because I know that you would go

27
00:01:08,890 --> 00:01:10,930
visit your mom at the hospital, but then
what would you do?

28
00:01:11,870 --> 00:01:12,870
I don't know. Have one.

29
00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:14,250
Alone?

30
00:01:14,370 --> 00:01:17,830
That had to have been hard. You know,
nobody to talk to or eat with. Well,

31
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,810
Jackie, obviously I talk to people.
Yeah, but like who in particular?

32
00:01:21,030 --> 00:01:23,590
Jackie, what else do you want to know?
What color shirt I wore every day?

33
00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,580
Hey, I got a jaywalking ticket from a
bicycle cop. I gave him some sass about

34
00:01:27,580 --> 00:01:30,600
his bare legs on the upside of me and a
head with a bicycle pump. How's that?

35
00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:35,220
Were you walking across the street all
by yourself? What the hell are you

36
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,940
talking about? I'm just trying to figure
out who you were on the phone with

37
00:01:37,940 --> 00:01:38,940
yesterday.

38
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:40,520
Oh, you mean my mom.

39
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,240
Well, it didn't sound like that to me.

40
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,900
Thanks for being so great with my mom.

41
00:01:50,140 --> 00:01:51,380
Well, it's one of my mom's doctors.

42
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,640
It was hard being away from you for
Christmas. See, that's what I'm not

43
00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:59,600
You wanted to spend Christmas with her
doctor?

44
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,020
Well, I mean, where the hell do you get
off listening to my conversations?

45
00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:06,400
In my house? Don't turn it around on me.
I just want to know what the hell's

46
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,340
going on. Nothing's going on. That's
bull, and you know it.

47
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:23,380
What is going on, Dan?

48
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,160
What doesn't kill us is making us
stronger.

49
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:36,840
We're gonna last longer than that
greatest wall in China.

50
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:43,860
Oh, that rapid with a drum is the one
thing that I've heard.

51
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:51,640
While waiting for my turn Is that in
each light of a rainbow But you also get

52
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:58,320
some sun That will make out better than
okay Hear what I

53
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:02,220
say Yeah, I got everything

54
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,580
Please tell me that it's not what I
think it is.

55
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:26,660
Oh, my God.

56
00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:29,260
It is.

57
00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:31,420
Isn't it?

58
00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:34,160
Oh, my God.

59
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:40,380
Who is she?

60
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,360
She's my mother's nurse.

61
00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:46,800
Oh, Dan. Oh, my God.

62
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,320
Dan!

63
00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:50,620
How could you do that?

64
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,180
Jackie, you don't understand.

65
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,460
No, I know it's got to be really
complicated.

66
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:56,980
Jackie, nothing has happened.

67
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:06,320
We have feelings for each other. Dan,
just, oh, come on. Do you... See,

68
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,840
now that you have money, you think now
all of a sudden you're Mr. Popular?

69
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,460
Do you think that this woman wants you
for your girlish figure?

70
00:04:16,170 --> 00:04:20,829
This has nothing to do with money. No,
right. No, it's a 45 -year -old married

71
00:04:20,829 --> 00:04:22,310
man with four kids. What a catch.

72
00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:25,950
Are you spending a lot of money on her?

73
00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:29,870
Just because she likes me to take her to
nice places doesn't mean that she's

74
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:33,810
after my money. No, no, of course it
doesn't. She would like you just as much

75
00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:36,310
you were still a drywaller. She would.
See, you don't know her.

76
00:04:37,219 --> 00:04:40,480
So you have no idea what you're talking
about? No, but I don't need to know her

77
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,900
to know that she's not your wife.

78
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,300
Look, Jackie, I've been over and over
this, trying to figure out what

79
00:04:45,380 --> 00:04:49,220
I don't know. Maybe there's a part of me
that needed something. Well, I know

80
00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:50,520
exactly what part that was.

81
00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:55,960
Jackie, you don't understand. Nothing
has happened, and you have no idea what

82
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:56,960
this is doing to me.

83
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,320
Being back here around the family,
trying to pretend that everything's back

84
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:02,320
way it was.

85
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,020
The guilt is eating me alive.

86
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:05,420
What are you going to tell Roseanne?

87
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:13,020
Soon, okay? I just... I have to find the
right words. I still love her. Cut the

88
00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:14,020
crap.

89
00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:19,540
Feelings are one thing. It's what you do
that counts. I'm not saying what I did

90
00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:22,060
was right, but you've got to understand
something. I married young.

91
00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:25,020
I gave up a lot in my life. Oh, boo
-hoo!

92
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:28,740
Who has to? Actually, you don't know
what it's like. Things are different out

93
00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:29,740
there.

94
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:34,400
Life is easier. People are 60 years old.
They look 40. It's 72 degrees and sunny

95
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,160
all the time. It's not like here.

96
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,210
I don't know why I expected better from
you, Dan.

97
00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:43,310
It is very clear to me now that the
apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

98
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:47,310
How's that supposed to mean? Your father
also had kind of an eye for the ladies,

99
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,710
didn't he? Like father, like son.

100
00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:50,750
Boy, that's a low blow. Well, it's true.

101
00:05:51,710 --> 00:05:53,930
All these years thinking that you were
better than your dad.

102
00:05:54,610 --> 00:05:58,190
You're way out of line. First time out
on the road, you do the exact same

103
00:05:59,130 --> 00:06:01,290
I guess the Conner men don't travel very
well.

104
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,220
And I will tell you something. It
wouldn't surprise me if years from now

105
00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:08,580
sons aren't visiting their mother in a
mental institution. Who in the hell are

106
00:06:08,580 --> 00:06:09,880
you to tell me what to do anyway?

107
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:14,220
Man, you tell her or I will.

108
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:17,720
Hi, Jackie.

109
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,420
I dropped the kids over at Mom's for an
overnighter.

110
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:25,460
What's up with you guys?

111
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:27,300
Oh,

112
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,920
Jackie and I are having that same old
fight about who's a better cop.

113
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,480
Jimmy Smitzer, that guy that's all
showing his ass.

114
00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:39,700
How was the weight sale?

115
00:06:40,180 --> 00:06:44,300
Well, it was awesome. For the first
time, I didn't have to buy any

116
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,120
All the fitted sheets I got are shaped
just like a bed.

117
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:53,340
Because you must be anxious to get the
bedroom remodeled. Hey, these babies are

118
00:06:53,340 --> 00:06:54,319
top of the line.

119
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,220
350 thread count cotton. Nice.

120
00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:58,700
Yeah, it's very nice.

121
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,800
Not too nice, though, I hope, because I
still want to be the softest thing in

122
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:03,800
the bed.

123
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:06,580
Dan, do you hear what I said?

124
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,720
I was talking about the sheets, you
know, so I go, I hope they're not too

125
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,780
because I still want to be the softest
thing in the bed.

126
00:07:13,460 --> 00:07:14,460
Yeah.

127
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,880
All right, I'm going to go.

128
00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:20,140
But I will be back.

129
00:07:20,780 --> 00:07:24,500
Hey, yeah, that means we'll only have,
what, six more weeks of winter, right?

130
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:33,420
Roseanne, I've got to tell you
something. Hold it. You are not going to

131
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:37,140
this. I go by the gas and sip, you know,
for a bladder buster.

132
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:42,700
And I look up there at the tabloid rack,
you know, to see how the chicken boy

133
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:44,000
scored on his SAT.

134
00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:46,660
And look what I found.

135
00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:49,360
Disney to build theme park in Gaza
Strip.

136
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:54,600
No, not that. Right there. That prince.
That Prince Carlos at Jackie State. And

137
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:55,239
look at that.

138
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,900
Look at that. He married his
chambermaid, Dan.

139
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:02,700
He just met her last month because, as
it turns out, he had never even been to

140
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:04,420
the west wing of his own damn palace.

141
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,000
It says here it was love at first sight.

142
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,700
Look at her, Dan. She's 50 years old.
She's got the crow's feet and everything

143
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:12,459
like that.

144
00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:13,980
How am I going to tell Jackie?

145
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,800
God, men are so damn predictable.

146
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:23,800
Well, Rose, I mean, you don't know the
whole situation. I mean, you know,

147
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,060
maybe... Don't go sticking up for the
guy just because you are one.

148
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,919
You know, I'm just lucky that I got me
one of the few good ones.

149
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:35,860
What were you going to tell me?

150
00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:39,260
Nothing.

151
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:46,380
There you

152
00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:54,540
go.

153
00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:57,480
You got to keep them elevated to keep
them from swelling up.

154
00:08:58,849 --> 00:09:00,130
DJ, that's so sweet.

155
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:04,090
All right, what's the scam, you little
grifter?

156
00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:09,150
Oh, God, Darlene, you're 25 weeks
pregnant.

157
00:09:09,470 --> 00:09:10,650
Just trying to be nice.

158
00:09:10,870 --> 00:09:11,749
Yeah, right.

159
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:14,690
Last night you didn't fight me for the
remote. This morning you offered to make

160
00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:15,690
me pancakes.

161
00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:17,770
Now I'm getting fed up. Just tell me
what you want.

162
00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:21,550
Come on, Darlene, he's your little
brother. Just because he's being nice

163
00:09:21,550 --> 00:09:22,550
mean he wants something.

164
00:09:22,950 --> 00:09:24,590
I think it's beautiful, DJ.

165
00:09:24,850 --> 00:09:26,010
Shut up, Snow White.

166
00:09:28,010 --> 00:09:29,010
She's right.

167
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:30,270
I do want something.

168
00:09:30,790 --> 00:09:32,830
All right, I want to videotape you
giving birth.

169
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:37,250
Forget it. You can bring in your
coonskin cap to show and tell.

170
00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:42,750
Wait a minute. I mean, this may not have
been the best method of asking, but we

171
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,130
do need someone to film it.

172
00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:46,930
I don't want this little creep looking
at my patootie.

173
00:09:48,490 --> 00:09:49,530
You film it.

174
00:09:50,050 --> 00:09:52,470
Please, Darlene, it's a portal of life.

175
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:55,650
Besides, I can't film it. I'm going to
be coaching you.

176
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,640
I'm getting really good with the camera.

177
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:01,140
Besides, who else are you going to get?
David Stoner, a friend who did your

178
00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:04,780
wedding? Another 45 minutes of Nana Mary
passed out in your shrimp cocktail?

179
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:10,060
I think it's a great idea, DJ. We'll
talk about it, and we'll get back to

180
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,680
All right, but you've got to let me know
soon.

181
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:17,760
A tootie?

182
00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:19,020
Portal of life?

183
00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:27,609
Oh, yeah.

184
00:10:27,610 --> 00:10:32,230
Bedroom's going to be great, Roseanne.
Great. I like the, what do you call

185
00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:33,270
the medieval theme.

186
00:10:33,750 --> 00:10:36,410
Yeah, well, that's because I ordered a
lot of it out of the sheriff's catalog

187
00:10:36,410 --> 00:10:37,410
here.

188
00:10:37,510 --> 00:10:43,070
Boy, she's just got great taste. She can
make any room in your house look like a

189
00:10:43,070 --> 00:10:44,670
dungeon for less than $10 ,000.

190
00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:48,110
Jackie?

191
00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:51,870
I want to talk to you.

192
00:10:52,490 --> 00:10:56,050
Oh, we don't really need to talk,
Roseanne. We talk all the time.

193
00:10:56,670 --> 00:10:58,650
No, come on. It's different. Sit down.

194
00:11:00,090 --> 00:11:01,590
It's best that you hear this from me.

195
00:11:02,790 --> 00:11:03,790
What?

196
00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:05,290
Sit down.

197
00:11:13,450 --> 00:11:17,170
There's just no easy way to say this.
Oh, my God.

198
00:11:19,830 --> 00:11:20,890
Let's face it, Jackie.

199
00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:25,050
Some relationships just are not meant to
last forever.

200
00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:30,100
Yeah, but this one, you know, I thought
would be different.

201
00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:31,900
Oh, you know?

202
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:33,040
Yeah, I know.

203
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:34,940
Men are dogs.

204
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,240
Oh, they are.

205
00:11:36,540 --> 00:11:37,660
Roseanne, they are dogs.

206
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:41,560
And they are pigs. And they are swine.

207
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:43,140
Which are pigs.

208
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,300
Yeah, but at least pigs have an excuse.

209
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,500
They're pigs.

210
00:11:49,069 --> 00:11:51,850
So what is it with men? Why are they so
pathetic?

211
00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:55,270
I don't know. I guess they're just
little babies, you know, and they miss

212
00:11:55,270 --> 00:11:57,770
mommies or something. They got to get
somebody else to take care of them.

213
00:11:58,710 --> 00:12:03,050
That's why they always fall in love with
their maids or waitresses or nurses,

214
00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:04,109
you know.

215
00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:06,050
I can't believe it's over.

216
00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:08,230
Finished. Good point.

217
00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:12,270
Well, now that it's over, I want you to
know something.

218
00:12:12,710 --> 00:12:14,270
I never really liked the guy anyhow.

219
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:21,600
What? It was all like an act, you know?
He smelled the money.

220
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:23,980
How can you say that?

221
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,760
Because I'm just being honest.

222
00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:29,280
And honestly, I can't even believe that
it lasted this long.

223
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:38,640
I mean, I didn't believe it when I read
it in the Globe or the Star.

224
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:43,240
But when I seen it in the Enquirer, I
knew it had to be true.

225
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,800
It was in the Enquirer?

226
00:12:57,950 --> 00:13:00,370
Jackie, we are going to get through this
together.

227
00:13:03,590 --> 00:13:06,510
You know, I've always thought this about
the royals. They're nothing but trailer

228
00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:07,510
trash with titles.

229
00:13:10,650 --> 00:13:12,170
Look at her. She looks just like Dr.

230
00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:13,370
Ruth.

231
00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:17,250
You

232
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:24,230
know, I

233
00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:26,130
don't know about DJ Tape and the birth.

234
00:13:26,670 --> 00:13:27,670
Oh, he'll be fine.

235
00:13:29,270 --> 00:13:34,090
Hey, DJ, what's the tape of our friend
Janet giving birth? This is an excellent

236
00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:35,490
example of what we're looking for.

237
00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:37,110
Yo, Spielberg, pillow?

238
00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:44,770
See, the camera is present, but
unobtrusive, you know?

239
00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:48,910
Okay, DJ, just to help you out, that
person in the middle of the screen is a

240
00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:49,910
woman.

241
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:55,310
Well, okay, there she is. She's 100 %
effaced.

242
00:13:56,690 --> 00:13:58,210
Okay, it's crowning.

243
00:13:59,690 --> 00:14:04,030
The doctor picking up the scissors to
perform the episiotomy.

244
00:14:05,050 --> 00:14:08,650
Just a little clip of the perineum to
make room for the baby's head.

245
00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:12,890
Man, that's a lot of blood.

246
00:14:15,830 --> 00:14:18,430
Here comes the baby. God, isn't that
beautiful?

247
00:14:20,230 --> 00:14:23,210
Wow, look at that gush of amniotic
fluid.

248
00:14:40,430 --> 00:14:43,670
This share catalog's got some stuff I
think we'll both like, like this

249
00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:48,810
wallpaper. Okay, this here's a chastity
belt, but from a distance, I think it

250
00:14:48,810 --> 00:14:49,870
looks like a tool belt.

251
00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:52,830
Yeah, great.

252
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:58,270
So, I told Jackie about the prince.

253
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,190
She didn't even seem mad at that.

254
00:15:02,250 --> 00:15:03,330
But you know Jackie.

255
00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:06,910
Yeah, well, if he's anything like the
Moldavians, I've met the hell with him.

256
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:11,400
Well, she said his toes were all webbed
and stuff, you know, because all the

257
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:12,400
inbreeding, I guess.

258
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,200
Look, Roseanne, a lot's gone down over
the last six months, and I've had a real

259
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,260
hard time dealing with it.

260
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:22,100
Well, yeah, it's been rough on all of
us, Dan, but, you know, now that you're

261
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,140
home, we'll get back to normal.

262
00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:26,460
Well, yeah, even though I'm home, I
still feel like I'm somewhere else.

263
00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:30,060
Well, that's because you've got a lot of
that residual California crap still

264
00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:31,520
left out in your system, you know.

265
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,680
You'll be fine again once you get back
to drinking water out of the tap.

266
00:15:36,990 --> 00:15:41,050
You know, I was alone in a way out
there. I had a lot of time to think

267
00:15:41,050 --> 00:15:42,050
things.

268
00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:46,750
And I feel like there's something
inside. You know, something's missing.

269
00:15:48,450 --> 00:15:49,790
Like there's a big hole there.

270
00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:56,130
Well, as long as there's no exit wound,
I don't think we should worry about it.

271
00:15:57,050 --> 00:15:58,390
I don't know what I'm seeing here.

272
00:15:58,630 --> 00:16:01,750
I got something really hard to tell you,
and I don't know how to start.

273
00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:04,920
Well... I am your wife, Dan.

274
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:08,260
Roseanne, something really, really awful
has happened. I've met someone.

275
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,900
Someone? I met a woman.

276
00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:30,160
Okay, so by met, you don't mean just
met, or it wouldn't

277
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,300
have taken you so long to tell me.

278
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:33,210
It's more than just met.

279
00:16:35,190 --> 00:16:36,190
How much more?

280
00:16:38,870 --> 00:16:40,130
I met her at the hospital.

281
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:42,690
Oh, yeah?

282
00:16:42,770 --> 00:16:45,110
So there's a chance she'll be dead soon?

283
00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:49,250
She's my mother's nurse.

284
00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:52,310
What? I didn't sleep with her.

285
00:16:53,170 --> 00:16:56,310
Roseanne, you've got to believe this. I
did not go looking for this. I didn't

286
00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:59,710
plan on this. If I had a choice, this
wouldn't have happened. If you had a

287
00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:03,380
choice... You didn't really say that to
me, did you? I'm sorry. It's just...

288
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:08,020
Look, after I had my heart attack, I got
spooked. I started facing my own

289
00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:09,020
mortality.

290
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:11,500
Oh, I get it.

291
00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:14,079
She's younger.

292
00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:17,960
Oh, Rosie. No, I'm right, aren't I? How
much younger than me is she?

293
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:19,720
Come on, Rosie. What do you want me to
say?

294
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:22,540
So what does she do for you, Dan?

295
00:17:22,980 --> 00:17:26,640
She hangs on your every word? What, she
rubs the knots out of the back of your

296
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,680
neck? Does your mother know what you are
doing out there?

297
00:17:31,209 --> 00:17:33,370
No. I don't know what I was doing out
there.

298
00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:38,010
I don't know what else to say.

299
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:42,930
Well, are you in love with her?

300
00:17:45,470 --> 00:17:46,470
I'm very confused.

301
00:17:47,710 --> 00:17:49,170
I know that I still love you.

302
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:53,610
Oh, my God. Who wrote that line?

303
00:17:56,590 --> 00:17:57,589
I'm sorry.

304
00:17:57,590 --> 00:17:58,590
I'm sorry.

305
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,300
Well, this never would have happened if
we hadn't won that money, would it?

306
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:14,820
So what now, Dan? We're part of the
privileged class, and I get to give you

307
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:20,080
typical response of the numb society
wife, like I'm supposed to look the

308
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,360
way when they catch you in a hotel with
some call girl?

309
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:29,440
Well, I don't have that blindness that
only money can buy, Dan. I'm not Rose

310
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:30,440
Kennedy.

311
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:31,900
I'm working class.

312
00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:35,650
And that means there's a right and
there's wrong.

313
00:18:35,890 --> 00:18:38,230
There's black and there's white.

314
00:18:38,470 --> 00:18:41,250
And no amount of money is going to get
me to see gray.

315
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:42,830
I know that.

316
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:47,150
And I know that I have a duty to this
family and I intend to see it through.

317
00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:49,870
So that's what we are to you after all
these years, Dan, your duty, right?

318
00:18:51,010 --> 00:18:55,290
Well, isn't that just great for you?
Then you get to be the hero and the

319
00:18:55,410 --> 00:18:58,390
Well, don't bother, Dan, because while
you were gone, I learned something, too.

320
00:18:58,690 --> 00:18:59,690
I'm going to be fine.

321
00:19:00,780 --> 00:19:04,040
It's killing me, Roseanne. You've got to
understand this is tearing me apart.

322
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:13,420
After all these years, this is truly,
truly the very last thing I would have

323
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:14,720
ever expected out of you, Dana.

324
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:20,420
Your duty is over.

325
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:22,600
You're free.

326
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:25,520
Go.

327
00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:00,130
You know.

328
00:20:00,630 --> 00:20:04,090
I overheard him on the phone. Why didn't
you tell me? I thought it was better

329
00:20:04,090 --> 00:20:06,630
coming from him, but if he didn't tell
you, then I was gonna.

330
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,810
God. God, it's like I never knew him.

331
00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:15,310
If he could do this to you after
everything that you guys have been

332
00:20:15,410 --> 00:20:18,030
then maybe you're better off.

333
00:20:24,670 --> 00:20:27,110
You know what I just figured out?

334
00:20:27,919 --> 00:20:30,180
We got dumped on the very same day.

335
00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:32,180
Oh, now that's a first.

336
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:38,120
Well, I know you're not used to it, but
I am, so.

337
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:43,080
And I'll tell you something, too. This
is not an ending. This is a beginning.

338
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,880
I knew something was going on. I told
you. Listen to me.

339
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,360
We are young, we are rich, and...

340
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:56,700
We are free. We are entering the prime
of our lives, and there is no man there

341
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,060
to hold us back.

342
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:02,780
We have got one less egg to answer, one
less bell to fry.

343
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,300
We can do anything we want to do.

344
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:14,020
So don't you worry, because we're going
to get through this together.

345
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:30,100
Okay, I can do this.

346
00:21:30,860 --> 00:21:33,380
Having a child is just a natural part of
life.

347
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,200
Okay, just like watching ER.

348
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:38,640
Here we go.

349
00:21:38,980 --> 00:21:39,980
Oh, boy.

350
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,280
Okay, here we go. You can do it.

351
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:53,280
Come on, Janet.

352
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:54,920
Way to go, Janet.

353
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:56,720
You can do it.

354
00:21:58,090 --> 00:21:59,950
I can see the...