1
00:00:01,519 --> 00:00:05,772


2
00:00:11,709 --> 00:00:16,127


3
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:39,367
Th is story my story is a confession.

4
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:42,340
Lucky for you, they're the hottest of all stories.

5
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,050
Ask any priest.

6
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:47,007
He might tell you to watch and learn from my sins.

7
00:00:47,519 --> 00:00:50,527
Or maybe you'd rather sit back and wait for the dirty parts.

8
00:00:51,172 --> 00:00:52,379
Be my guest.

9
00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:57,185
l'm not Catholic, but l'v e met enough priests

10
00:00:57,185 --> 00:00:58,952
to know one th i ng about confessions:

11
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,186
they're always anonymous.

12
00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:05,889
So i n the spirit of anonymity, call me X

13
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,680


14
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,302
All this drama started about a year ago.

15
00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:21,614
l'm on my way to work. Not looking for anything.

16
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,943
Honestly, you don't know me yet.

17
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,863
To the average transit rider it appears

18
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,165
l'm cruising a random hottie.

19
00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:46,366
But this is no random hottie.

20
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:49,293
He was in my Abnormal Psych class back at U. W.

21
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:52,277
Thing is, l hadn't found him remotely arousing in school.

22
00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:54,887
But now Blondie looked differen t.

23
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,157
Actually,he looked the same,

24
00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:58,867
l just looked at him differen tly.

25
00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:01,777
l was feeli ng something l hadn 't felt since seventh grade.

26
00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:07,214
Forgive me Father, l felt lustful.

27
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:15,293
Don't worry, th is doesn 't end with me in his beefy arms--

28
00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:18,462
although l do spend a few choice moments in them.

29
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:21,435
This isn't really about him at all.

30
00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:22,839
lt's about me.

31
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:23,967
And

32
00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:25,635
And l'm late for work.

33
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,805
lf you're smart you'v e guessed l'm a hustler.

34
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,781
lf you haven 't, here are two clues:

35
00:02:29,849 --> 00:02:31,976
l'm gay and they made a movie about me.

36
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,682
Try to keep up.

37
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,397
l'm not your typical picture-in-the-back-of-the

38
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:37,684
fag-rag hustler.

39
00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:39,622
l work by referral only.

40
00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:41,250
And l charge a lot.

41
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,261
Supposedly l'm worth it.

42
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:46,162
l keep my client list to a trim twelve regulars

43
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:48,757
who have the resources to accommodate my lifestyle.

44
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,530
l think of them as my disciples.

45
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:51,865
There's The Judge

46
00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:52,905
Mr. Jowls

47
00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:53,666
Chaps

48
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:54,502
Daddy's Boy

49
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:55,404
Gin Martini

50
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:56,305
The Accoun tant

51
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:57,240
Father of Six. . .

52
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:58,208
The Mummy. . .

53
00:02:58,278 --> 00:02:59,176
Screamer. . .

54
00:02:59,245 --> 00:02:59,973
Bruce Lee. . .

55
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:00,842
Breath Mints. . .

56
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,381
and Barely Breath i ng.

57
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:07,816
U nfortu nately for me, Barely Breathing

58
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:09,946
stopped breath i ng last week.

59
00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:13,685
lt wasn 't ev en natural causes lik e you'd think.

60
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:19,992
So, lucky for Gregory, that leav es an openi ng.

61
00:03:20,822 --> 00:03:23,016
He's supposed to be some old recluse.

62
00:03:23,066 --> 00:03:24,048
A geezer.

63
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,468
That'll be h is name.

64
00:03:25,913 --> 00:03:26,766
Geezer.

65
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,154
The old gays depress me sometimes.

66
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:32,768
Not because l'm getti ng old myself,

67
00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:34,540
but because of the shit they had to go through

68
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,104
to get where they are.

69
00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:38,047
Wh ich is often nowhere.

70
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,384
You must be X.

71
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,542
Of course at the time he used my real name.

72
00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,756
Well, my real hustler name.

73
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:49,225
Anyway this is just for the movie.

74
00:03:49,345 --> 00:03:50,626
To protect the innocent.

75
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:52,187
Thanks for saving me from an afternoon

76
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:53,680
of Judge Judy.

77
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,071
Great view.

78
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:04,769
When the University bought the building, only a few

79
00:04:04,794 --> 00:04:07,192
of the original tenants stayed .

80
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,338
The smart ones .

81
00:04:09,102 --> 00:04:10,318
The rich ones .

82
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,150
l th i nk l lik e th is one.

83
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,620
My sense of humor and ki nda hot.

84
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,082
For sev en ty-ni ne.

85
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:18,847
I graduated from here.

86
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:24,323
Ah, I've often wondered what became of our illustrious alumni

87
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,011
I'm not sure I'm typical .

88
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,732
I suspect not.

89
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,703
l wasn't sure what you'd want.

90
00:04:33,072 --> 00:04:34,935
Water's all I need .

91
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:38,338
Only accept drinks that are factory sealed.

92
00:04:44,357 --> 00:04:45,908
Tell me about your life.

93
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:49,609
I want to know the course our romance will take.

94
00:04:50,493 --> 00:04:51,496
Romance?

95
00:04:52,123 --> 00:04:54,277
He objects to the term romance

96
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,588
Probably doesn't kiss .

97
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,319
Very Klute.

98
00:04:58,844 --> 00:05:01,295
Surely a lad of your experience--

99
00:05:01,345 --> 00:05:03,232
what are you, thirty?

100
00:05:03,534 --> 00:05:04,702
Twenty-five.

101
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,935
Well, surely you realize no real sex is possible

102
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:13,186
without s ome degree of romance.

103
00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:14,594
We'l l see.

104
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:17,039
A man who knows the price of everything

105
00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:18,603
and the value of nothing

106
00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:20,245
Thank you, Oscar Wilde.

107
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,853
Bet that surprised you too, cute and smart.

108
00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:26,828
But he's a whore, there must be something wrong with him

109
00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:27,815
Eat me.

110
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,313
Do you enjoy chocolate?

111
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:36,242
These range from fifty to ninety percent purity.

112
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:41,403
The ninety is too intense for words .

113
00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:46,279
You've never been in love?

114
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,571
Unless you count my cousin when l was twelve.

115
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:49,750
That counts.

116
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:53,597
I still remember when I first told a man I loved him .

117
00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:55,210
I can imagine.

118
00:05:56,155 --> 00:06:01,889
Look, it's cool chatting, but it's in your

119
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:05,089
best interest to let me know what you'd like to do .

120
00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,655
A visit usually takes an hour.

121
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:09,607
An hour?

122
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:12,571
Hardly worth showering .

123
00:06:34,648 --> 00:06:36,125
Patience, my boy.

124
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,463
Our time will come.

125
00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:46,662
But not until you desire me as much as I desire you .

126
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,904
Never had a check bou nce, never been stiffed.

127
00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:56,212
Normally l don't take the let's just talk clients.

128
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:57,805
They're the ones who get clingy.

129
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,685
Who act like they own you and get all Jeffrey Dahmer.

130
00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:02,787
l prefer to fuck their brains out,

131
00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:04,540
take my money and split.

132
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,248
But there was something interesting about Gregory,

133
00:07:07,326 --> 00:07:09,089
besides the size of h is check.

134
00:07:10,318 --> 00:07:11,797
As much cash as l bri ng i n,

135
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:13,855
l still hav e two roommates because--

136
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,335
Who's that?

137
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:20,692
Joey? !

138
00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:28,606
Andrew?

139
00:07:29,194 --> 00:07:30,476
That was yours?!

140
00:07:31,691 --> 00:07:32,694
Andrew.

141
00:07:32,794 --> 00:07:34,931
That's who this is really about.

142
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,444
l'm not normally into black guys,

143
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:39,286
but Andrew's hotter than the seventh plane of hell.

144
00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:42,794
l could tell he wanted me a little

145
00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:45,194
But we'd lived together a year now,

146
00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:48,178
and nothing more than an occasional flirt passed between us.

147
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:53,546
Okay maybe he didn't want me but --

148
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,990
l'm obsessing over my roommate.

149
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,569
But Andrew's like, bo yfriend material.

150
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,635
Not for me of course, but for somebody.

151
00:08:02,698 --> 00:08:04,000
Who was he?

152
00:08:04,582 --> 00:08:05,588
What's that?

153
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,083
It's Jill

154
00:08:09,058 --> 00:08:10,011
She's

155
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:12,616
Jill was his evil ex-fiancee.

156
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,692
l only thought she was evil because she'd done him

157
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:15,759
and l hadn 't.

158
00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:17,323
Was the bitch dead?

159
00:08:17,396 --> 00:08:18,347
Is she dead?

160
00:08:19,306 --> 00:08:20,361
Jesus ! N o !

161
00:08:20,395 --> 00:08:23,222
S he's getting married .

162
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,076
You shoulda seen your face.

163
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:32,868
I was just being aghast out of respect.

164
00:08:34,333 --> 00:08:37,438
So what happened with the smoked ham back there?

165
00:08:39,414 --> 00:08:40,163
Nothing

166
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:41,884
Right

167
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:45,260
Seriously, I got the letter and kinda got outta the mood .

168
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,900
You were in the mood?

169
00:08:47,606 --> 00:08:49,427
We met on the bus, he offered .

170
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:51,230
He's totally hot. Why not?

171
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:54,622
In the year he lived here, Andrew only hooked up with one guy

172
00:08:54,672 --> 00:08:57,030
and they just jacked off so it did n't really count.

173
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,816
Because you're not a slut.

174
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,605
I thought that was one of Joey's .

175
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:04,368
Maybe I was horny.

176
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,575
Why should it matter to you?

177
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:07,958
l hate you.

178
00:09:08,726 --> 00:09:11,641
I guess I gave you more credit than you deserved .

179
00:09:11,781 --> 00:09:14,550
Oh, that's priceless coming from you

180
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,671
And thereinlies my problem folks.

181
00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:18,756
A hustler with morals.

182
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:21,086
A whore who is not a slut.

183
00:09:21,688 --> 00:09:24,909
Outside of work, l haven't had sex, mutual masturbation

184
00:09:24,959 --> 00:09:26,488
or otherwise since l was twelve.

185
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,748
And that was only once.

186
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:30,198
Sometimes l consider myself a virgin, since l was

187
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:31,848
a minor when it happened.

188
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,936
ln school l knew three Mormon girls who swore any

189
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:36,998
activity on the planet that didn't involve breaki ng

190
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,271
their hymens left them virgins.

191
00:09:39,785 --> 00:09:41,374
Why haven't l had sex?

192
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,573
l'm saving myself for someone l love.

193
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:45,531
Okay.

194
00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:48,415
Let's play the X-is-a-prostitute game.

195
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:49,977
Nothing I say means anything because

196
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:51,580
I'm just a prostitute.

197
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:53,852
I don't need a hooker calling me a slut.

198
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,521
If you guys don't fuck soon, I'm going to slit my wrists !

199
00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:00,140
And Joey makes the family complete.

200
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,095
We met a year ago when my accountant suggested

201
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:05,001
l get roommates to keep the lRS off my back.

202
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:07,336
Joey was the first to respond.

203
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:10,098
17, no job, homeless.

204
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,934
But he had a GED, so he wasn 't a total loser.

205
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,444
He comes in and asks to live ren t-free.

206
00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:16,538
l agreed.

207
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,174
Shit, l'm only human.

208
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,184
He's hit onme every day since.

209
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:24,745
My speech impediment is because of my extra long tongue.

210
00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:28,422
But he is so not right for me

211
00:10:28,494 --> 00:10:30,052
i n so many ways.

212
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:32,893
l mean first off until last week he was a minor.

213
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,642
You're worse than all of my parents,

214
00:10:34,742 --> 00:10:35,719
but not as old .

215
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:37,795
Okay guys, check this out!

216
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,269
Outta my ro om !

217
00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:45,604
See the guy outside the cafe?

218
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:47,373
He's way cute up close.

219
00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:49,176
It's Scooter.

220
00:10:49,226 --> 00:10:50,241
The Scooter?

221
00:10:50,374 --> 00:10:50,988
Yeah

222
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:52,617
He just started there.

223
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:53,819
Who's Scooter?

224
00:10:53,886 --> 00:10:54,769
My back-up plan .

225
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,247
The boy Joey ruined

226
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,815
The only guy who's ever loved me.

227
00:10:57,857 --> 00:10:59,222
Like truly

228
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:01,381
Joey was too chicken to actually break up with him

229
00:11:01,431 --> 00:11:03,727
So I cheated on him to get him to break up with me.

230
00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:05,991
He kept forgiving me so I just stopped calling him .

231
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:06,884
That's cruel .

232
00:11:06,984 --> 00:11:08,625
Whatever, I'm y our back-up plan .

233
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:09,457
Adm it it.

234
00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:11,289
I don't have a back-up plan .

235
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,286
Every one has a back-up plan .

236
00:11:13,336 --> 00:11:14,313
Who's yours?

237
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:17,136
I guess it was Jill

238
00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:20,899
Baby let me loosen those weary old bones

239
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,696
I'm sure his bo nes are p lenty lo ose already.

240
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:24,943
What were you guys moaning about?

241
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:25,881
Nothing

242
00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:28,613
X got pissy with me because I brought a guy home.

243
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,059
You brought a guy home?

244
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,207
Like a trick?

245
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,223
Why is it so shocking that I could have a trick?

246
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:37,592
It's not that it's congratulations !

247
00:11:37,663 --> 00:11:39,460
You're a stage two fag !

248
00:11:39,674 --> 00:11:40,567
What?

249
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,227
You were stage one for like a year.

250
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,531
You first come out and think you're not gonna be slutty

251
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:47,178
so you can find this perfect boyfriend who's also not slutty.

252
00:11:47,814 --> 00:11:49,264
That's when I met Scooter.

253
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:50,330
Eighth grade.

254
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,042
He's not kidding

255
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:53,246
But now, you're stage two .

256
00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:54,446
Have fun .

257
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,777
See a hot guy, screw around .

258
00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:58,146
I don't know if I'd go that far

259
00:11:58,590 --> 00:12:01,949
but maybe I'm transitioning .

260
00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:05,119
So what's the next stage?

261
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:06,336
It's like

262
00:12:06,923 --> 00:12:08,182
th irty.Old age.

263
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,189
Don't worry. Some of us dig older men .

264
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:18,444
So,now that I'm getting into my sexually adventurous stage.

265
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,397
We'll have to stock upon shampoo for the crabs .

266
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,414
Do n't be such a dick pump .

267
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:24,839
Maybe I don't like seeing my friends

268
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,275
throw away their morals .

269
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:28,973
I've always beens lutty and you don't hold it against me.

270
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:31,294
That's because I have different standards for you .

271
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,363
You are an ass hole.

272
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,673
So you'v e met my nuclear reactor family.

273
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:54,429
Three hot studs, horny for each other,

274
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,935
living in one apartment.

275
00:12:56,596 --> 00:12:58,975
Lik e a bad porno only without the sex.

276
00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:04,847
lf y ou're waiti ng for my sensitiv e fag hag,

277
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:06,203
don 't hold y our breath.

278
00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:08,784
L ucy's too much of a dyk e to hag for any one,

279
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:09,980
fag or otherwise.

280
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,852
l never say much to her, but she has a knack

281
00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:16,519
for reading my mind.

282
00:13:17,145 --> 00:13:19,039
She's pretty much the only woman in my life.

283
00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:21,225
lt's not a sexism thing, the only thing l have

284
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,598
against women is that men aren't more like them.

285
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:24,761
How'd it go with Gregory?

286
00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:29,508
I k new this would work out.

287
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:33,544
I'm so glad you needed a new john .

288
00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:36,172
Ever since she figured out what l do, it's been like

289
00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:39,217
a spy game she's been dying to get involved with.

290
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,385
You know, he never leaves that place.

291
00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:44,479
He's ordered lunch delivered from us for like six years

292
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:47,213
What's he i nto?

293
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:50,787
I knew it.

294
00:13:51,487 --> 00:13:52,831
Total bore.

295
00:13:53,609 --> 00:13:55,093
I bet he just sits and talks

296
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,796
Probably doesn't even want to fuck.

297
00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:59,928
Just gets his jollies by imagining being you .

298
00:13:59,959 --> 00:14:02,667
A busybody, but she's always right on.

299
00:14:02,741 --> 00:14:05,266
Remember l've probably said like fifteen sen tences

300
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,709
to her since we met.

301
00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:09,594
Fuckin'customers

302
00:14:10,175 --> 00:14:11,388
Can't wait to hear more, babe.

303
00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:38,241
There is one other woman in my life.

304
00:14:38,691 --> 00:14:40,904
l'm not really religious but this particular virgin

305
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:43,471
has a somewhat cunty expression like

306
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,643
she's demanding a child support check from God.

307
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,243
She inspires me.

308
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,345
l spotted her cruising me at a book store and

309
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,390
convinced the assistant manager to sell her to me

310
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,050
for two hundred bucks.

311
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:58,103
What was the artist feeling as he painted her face?

312
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,243
Dari ng to know the mother of God.

313
00:15:01,411 --> 00:15:04,872
l look at her and my soul slips into her left nipple.

314
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:08,028
Virgin becomes whore. God becomes slave.

315
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,143
Fan tasies never make sense.

316
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:13,377
l u nderstand what it is to be a gay man.

317
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:39,103
That's h is th ird trick th is week.

318
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,329
But who's counting?

319
00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:44,248
God, l feel lik e Joey.

320
00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:46,401
Exposed and rejected.

321
00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:01,754
My hand is nev er confused over how it feels about me.

322
00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:05,142
l feel omnipoten t that l can give myself such pleasure.

323
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:07,524
When l cum l throw my head back hard.

324
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:13,169
Two seconds later l feel con ten t.

325
00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:14,328
Then wasted.

326
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:15,370
Then morose.

327
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:22,073
The orgasm is a trap but masturbation is bliss.

328
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,225
l ev en masturbate after a trick.

329
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:25,474
lt's an eraser.

330
00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:33,714
As y ou may hav e gathered l'm a touch antisocial.

331
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:40,135
Boy Kultur is the only gay club l've been to more than once.

332
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:43,578
They let me in free because Joey used to fuck the doorman

333
00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:02,053
lt's not a scary leather den tweaker cave or guppy aquarium

334
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,487
but all those types sort of fit i n.

335
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,787
Anything goes at Boy Kultur, which is rare

336
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,625
in our Neapolitan gay community where ev ery flav or

337
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,321
is separate but equal.

338
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:18,896
So what do l do at Boy Kultur?

339
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,267
Sit mostly.

340
00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:26,808
Thinking sometimes, but mostly sitting.

341
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,111
l always claim the stool next door so no one

342
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:34,448
gets the crazy idea l'm available

343
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:42,091
l like watching the playful dance

344
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:43,890
of the cruise and pick up.

345
00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:46,055
A mating ritual more elaborate than anything

346
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:47,732
on the D isco v ery C hannel.

347
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,762
Why do guys pass themselv es arou nd so freely?

348
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,863
l mean, l have a lot of sex but only if l'm being paid.

349
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:56,840
l get something in return.

350
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,241
You may think that's the lowest of low,

351
00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:02,178
but isn't it better than spreading for any smooth operator

352
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,674
for a Bud Ligh t and cab fare?

353
00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:06,978
Maybe it comes down to pleasure.

354
00:18:07,052 --> 00:18:08,417
But do they get that much pleasure

355
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:09,818
from all these hook-ups ?

356
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:12,379
There's so much energy put into cruising,

357
00:18:12,844 --> 00:18:14,424
socialization

358
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:15,991
fash ion

359
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,426
months at the gym

360
00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:19,487
Myoplex shakes.

361
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:21,590
finally you get laid

362
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:27,938
and never hear from the fucker again.

363
00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:30,402
Then you invest all your energy and money back into

364
00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:34,242
grooming working out, making yourself perfect again

365
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:35,905
for the next lay

366
00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:40,577
lf gay guys stopped spendi ng so much time hooki ng up,

367
00:18:40,841 --> 00:18:43,177
we'd hav e fucki ng da Vi ncis ev erywhere.

368
00:18:44,731 --> 00:18:45,780
Mind if I sit here?

369
00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:47,185
S h it.

370
00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:48,688
F ig ht or fl ig ht?

371
00:18:49,143 --> 00:18:51,149
B o y, y ou lo ok lost i n thoug ht.

372
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,463
N o, I'm j ust try i ng to have a moment here.

373
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:55,763
I'm not lo oki ng for anyth i ng s leazy.

374
00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:58,246
U n less y ou are.

375
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,809
What exactly do you think makes you so hot?

376
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:08,278
What do you have that a million guys j ust like you don't?

377
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,479
So what makes you so hot?

378
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,483
I don't k now, why don't you tell me?

379
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:17,911
Game-p laying ass hole.

380
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:22,291
What, you were expecting a heart of gold?

381
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:25,091
Forgive me Father, l was selfish.

382
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,921
l couldn't decide whether to hopin

383
00:19:53,992 --> 00:19:56,580
or flush all the toilets and start the dishwasher,

384
00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:57,936
so l just stood there.

385
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,367
He's got presence.

386
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:05,436
He reads number one best sellers wears clothes out of hampers,

387
00:20:05,486 --> 00:20:07,658
makes any one feel at ease.

388
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:10,271
He's ev eryth i ng l'm not.

389
00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:13,834
And l fi nd that i ncredib ly sexy.

390
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:16,904
That anonymous fuck couldn't possibly see what l do.

391
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:27,025
How long have you been standing there?

392
00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:29,824
How long have you been jerking off to Andrew?

393
00:20:30,201 --> 00:20:32,193
I was not jerking off

394
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:33,322
Nice boner

395
00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:36,930
I'm still pissed at you

396
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,901
I wouldn't even be talking to you if I wasn't feeling so

397
00:20:40,621 --> 00:20:42,839
benevolent after getting reamed by the biggest dick

398
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:43,842
I've ever seen

399
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:45,589
That anonymous fuck was yours?

400
00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:46,575
Oh yeah

401
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,946
Whoa make that the second biggest I've ever seen

402
00:20:57,689 --> 00:20:58,951
Made you look

403
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,289
By our fifth date, l was convinced Geezer was the

403
00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:07,457
real thing and made him my twelfth disciple.

404
00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:10,537
So Joey's versing Andrew on the art of bei ng a slut.

405
00:21:11,243 --> 00:21:12,702
It's sad to watch

406
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,864
So is he y our type?

407
00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:16,941
Andrew?

408
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,609
I do n't have types .

409
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:21,771
I have cl ients .

410
00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:24,173
H ow nob le.

411
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:27,621
Who 's this ?

412
00:21:28,153 --> 00:21:30,052
Are we changing subjects?

413
00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:31,237
Do you mind?

414
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,906
Seems like an admission of guilt.

415
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,336
Gu i lty of what?

416
00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:38,261
Emotio n?

417
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:42,038
That's a portrait of my first lo v er.

418
00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:44,671
My o n ly lo ver.

419
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:46,423
We were together fifty years .

420
00:21:47,939 --> 00:21:49,395
F ifty years?

421
00:21:49,541 --> 00:21:51,185
H is name is Renaldo .

422
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,450
He's dead now.

423
00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:54,044
You both look so young .

424
00:21:54,184 --> 00:21:55,541
We were.

425
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:59,014
He was the son of the building custodian.

426
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:01,848
He was poor and sinewy.

427
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,378
I was rich and spoiled even then,the little prince.

428
00:22:05,978 --> 00:22:07,645
How D.H.Lawrence

429
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:15,564
The first time l saw him, l knew he'd be with me

430
00:22:15,634 --> 00:22:17,330
for the rest of my life.

431
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:20,536
Or his, as it turned out.

432
00:22:20,605 --> 00:22:22,163
How could you tell?

433
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:23,667
We had a chem istry.

434
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,904
But there was s omething else.

435
00:22:26,654 --> 00:22:29,873
Something peculiar because--

436
00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:31,575
He was everything you weren't.

437
00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:35,256
Which was the cause, I believe of our sexual heat.

438
00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:39,283
I remember the day we first fucked .

439
00:22:41,626 --> 00:22:43,193
Jesus

440
00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:50,005
The waves on the Sound were louder than thunder

441
00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:52,147
l was a teenager.

442
00:22:52,471 --> 00:22:54,776
We'd just mo v ed here from Brussels.

443
00:22:55,006 --> 00:22:58,454
l was supposed to be in my quarters, but l'd slipped out

444
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,270
to watch Renaldo work from there.

445
00:23:03,588 --> 00:23:05,800
As l waited to catch a glimpse of h im,

446
00:23:06,358 --> 00:23:08,877
l was distracted by the growi ng storm.

447
00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:12,517
Suddenly a weigh t came crash i ng down.

448
00:23:14,459 --> 00:23:15,690
It was Renaldo .

449
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,506
And?

450
00:23:18,029 --> 00:23:20,203
He said What are you do i ng here?

451
00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:24,271
My defenses told me to say  None of your business

452
00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:29,936
But I took a chance and said Waiti ng for you

453
00:23:31,476 --> 00:23:33,535
That's when he took me.

454
00:23:33,612 --> 00:23:34,737
Took you?

455
00:23:35,447 --> 00:23:37,779
He fucked you right there on the stairwell?

456
00:23:37,849 --> 00:23:39,016
In like, 1 9 1 8?

457
00:23:39,518 --> 00:23:41,261
Well the year is off.

458
00:23:41,486 --> 00:23:42,274
A little.

459
00:23:47,893 --> 00:23:50,327
You're a whore, men have the best sex

460
00:23:50,395 --> 00:23:51,848
of their life with you.

461
00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:56,162
But make no mistake, the only worthwh ile sex

462
00:23:56,262 --> 00:24:00,376
is when both parties are doing it to please themselves first.

463
00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:03,332
l had no idea what was physically possible

464
00:24:03,408 --> 00:24:07,344
between two boys until we kissed

465
00:24:11,883 --> 00:24:12,851
Then what?

466
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,798
Well, let's save that for next time.

467
00:24:29,367 --> 00:24:31,130
Waiti ng for you

468
00:24:31,684 --> 00:24:33,068
The words haunted me

469
00:24:41,213 --> 00:24:42,165
Another date?

470
00:24:43,114 --> 00:24:44,286
Another trick?

471
00:24:45,283 --> 00:24:46,079
Actual ly, no .

472
00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:10,168
Jill's wedd i ng is next weekend

473
00:25:11,236 --> 00:25:12,546
Will you come with me?

474
00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:14,869
Peop le m ig ht th i nk

475
00:25:14,946 --> 00:25:18,204
I dated her because I was in love with her brother Matthew.

476
00:25:18,617 --> 00:25:23,816
He was gorgeous and funny and so protective.

477
00:25:24,575 --> 00:25:25,379
And cocky.

478
00:25:27,025 --> 00:25:28,185
And self-centered .

479
00:25:28,260 --> 00:25:29,654
Probab ly why y ou lo ved h im .

480
00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:33,243
We were together for three years .

481
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,433
Except for the gay thing, I really loved her.

482
00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:41,763
I left her to fi nd my soulmate.

483
00:25:43,190 --> 00:25:45,378
And you don't want to show up empty-handed

484
00:25:49,674 --> 00:25:50,759
Partly that.

485
00:25:53,518 --> 00:25:59,866
And partly to have a trial run with you .

486
00:26:00,992 --> 00:26:03,256
That was the fastest erection l ever got

487
00:26:09,467 --> 00:26:11,764
A top. Thank God.

488
00:26:12,871 --> 00:26:13,902
Trial run? !

489
00:26:14,372 --> 00:26:16,165
Yeah A weekend together.

490
00:26:16,341 --> 00:26:18,775
Go to Portland get this thing out of our system .

491
00:26:18,843 --> 00:26:20,276
Two seco nds ago you're talking about looking for

492
00:26:20,345 --> 00:26:21,744
your soulmate and now it's about th is th i ng

493
00:26:21,813 --> 00:26:23,416
you want to get out of your system?

494
00:26:23,848 --> 00:26:25,654
I j ust meant get to k now each other.

495
00:26:25,767 --> 00:26:27,378
You do n't k now me?

496
00:26:27,452 --> 00:26:28,919
You've l ived with me for a year!

497
00:26:28,987 --> 00:26:32,284
X, nobody k nows y ou .

498
00:26:32,334 --> 00:26:33,384
Ouch.

499
00:26:33,458 --> 00:26:34,849
Let me be the first.

500
00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:37,657
I don't want to be o ne of your hookups

501
00:26:38,730 --> 00:26:39,890
Notinfront of the Beaver.

502
00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:42,328
I am so in love!

503
00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:45,133
Interrupting s omething?

504
00:26:45,689 --> 00:26:46,497
Please.

505
00:26:46,728 --> 00:26:48,199
Who's your latest victim?

506
00:26:48,916 --> 00:26:50,611
I like to think of them as host bodies .

507
00:26:51,233 --> 00:26:52,137
for my heart.

508
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,606
So you're swearing off other men?

509
00:26:55,771 --> 00:26:57,582
I'm in love. Not insane.

510
00:26:57,922 --> 00:26:59,556
He wants an open relationship .

511
00:27:00,780 --> 00:27:01,679
It's perfect.

512
00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:04,411
And you discussed this on your first date?

513
00:27:04,439 --> 00:27:05,851
Our first date's tonight.

514
00:27:06,123 --> 00:27:09,594
I'm at the bus stop and th is beautifu l guy comes up to me

515
00:27:09,644 --> 00:27:11,125
and says ''sm i le.''

516
00:27:11,540 --> 00:27:12,639
I looked at him .

517
00:27:13,565 --> 00:27:14,725
And I did .

518
00:27:15,667 --> 00:27:17,066
That's the worst come o n l i ne ever.

519
00:27:17,666 --> 00:27:19,228
It p isses me off when guys say that.

520
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:20,897
I'l l be perfectly fi ne.

521
00:27:20,905 --> 00:27:23,524
Then some ass hole says smile.

522
00:27:23,574 --> 00:27:25,809
Like I'm in a bad mood, and if I am I owe it to him

523
00:27:25,877 --> 00:27:28,437
to cover it up and make his world a brighter place.

524
00:27:28,513 --> 00:27:30,208
You're sensitive for an ice queen .

525
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:32,016
You know what line pisses me off?

526
00:27:32,344 --> 00:27:35,151
I'm not normally into black guys but

527
00:27:35,460 --> 00:27:36,801
They need to be shot.

528
00:27:36,955 --> 00:27:38,923
It's like oh this must be my lucky night.

529
00:27:38,990 --> 00:27:40,582
You're feeling abnormal

530
00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:41,921
and I'm black.

531
00:27:43,695 --> 00:27:45,583
I l ike any come on line.

532
00:27:45,797 --> 00:27:47,958
They're comp l iments .

533
00:27:48,033 --> 00:27:50,126
How can y ou have to o many compliments?

534
00:27:51,703 --> 00:27:54,695
Leave it here it's that Stella Stevens prostitute movie.

535
00:27:55,206 --> 00:27:57,174
l lo v ed prostitute movies.

536
00:27:57,242 --> 00:27:59,039
Liz Taylor in Butterfield 8.

537
00:27:59,110 --> 00:28:01,135
Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

538
00:28:01,212 --> 00:28:03,648
Marlene Dietrich in every movie she made.

539
00:28:03,948 --> 00:28:05,575
As a kid l thought prostitutes were

540
00:28:05,650 --> 00:28:07,625
the most beautifu l creatures alive.

541
00:28:07,852 --> 00:28:09,945
They were wise-cracking, extravagant,

542
00:28:10,021 --> 00:28:11,544
and you always learned from them.

543
00:28:11,623 --> 00:28:13,215
l felt destined to join the ranks of all the

544
00:28:13,291 --> 00:28:16,145
Hollywood actresses who'd ever played a prostitute.

545
00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:18,192
l asked my mother if l cou ldbe a prostitute

546
00:28:18,263 --> 00:28:19,525
when l grew up.

547
00:28:20,258 --> 00:28:21,497
She simply said

548
00:28:21,566 --> 00:28:22,533
No

549
00:28:24,135 --> 00:28:27,178
X, who was y our first date?

550
00:28:28,398 --> 00:28:30,538
What does that have do to with anything?

551
00:28:31,718 --> 00:28:33,240
This is an ambush?

552
00:28:33,311 --> 00:28:35,108
Andrew and I don't know anything about you,

553
00:28:35,756 --> 00:28:37,448
so let's start with something big .

554
00:28:40,552 --> 00:28:42,986
Well, let's just say that some dentists open wide

555
00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:44,522
for their patients .

556
00:28:45,513 --> 00:28:47,444
Your dentist had sex with y ou?

557
00:28:47,759 --> 00:28:48,817
H ot.

558
00:28:48,893 --> 00:28:49,748
And paid me.

559
00:28:50,195 --> 00:28:50,989
How old were you?

560
00:28:51,429 --> 00:28:52,896
My last two years of high school

561
00:28:52,964 --> 00:28:54,056
It happened more than once?

562
00:28:54,132 --> 00:28:55,013
Almost weekly.

563
00:28:55,166 --> 00:28:56,024
Was he cute?

564
00:28:56,267 --> 00:28:57,598
N ot particu larly.

565
00:28:57,669 --> 00:28:58,727
That's molestation .

566
00:28:58,803 --> 00:28:59,929
He should be put away.

567
00:29:00,004 --> 00:29:01,494
They s hou ld erect a statue of him .

568
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:02,458
It paid for college.

569
00:29:02,508 --> 00:29:03,521
But y ou were l ike a m i nor.

570
00:29:03,571 --> 00:29:04,580
He to ok advantage of y ou .

571
00:29:04,809 --> 00:29:07,744
Who's barely 18 and already blown half the Seahawks?

572
00:29:08,022 --> 00:29:10,542
I'm attracted to them, it's consensual .

573
00:29:10,615 --> 00:29:12,344
I was attracted to the mo ney.

574
00:29:13,204 --> 00:29:16,586
I don't have issues with hustling if someone chooses it,

575
00:29:17,830 --> 00:29:20,213
I just have a problem with people pushing kids into it.

576
00:29:22,193 --> 00:29:23,592
Are you considering choosing it?

577
00:29:23,661 --> 00:29:24,662
Hel l no .

578
00:29:25,443 --> 00:29:26,793
I'm l iv i ng rent free.

579
00:29:26,865 --> 00:29:30,028
Young man you need to get a job or go to school

580
00:29:30,101 --> 00:29:32,399
Forgive me Father, l was too lazy to do more

581
00:29:32,470 --> 00:29:34,097
than pretend everything would be alright.

582
00:29:35,373 --> 00:29:37,500
The next day was a big happy family day.

583
00:29:37,575 --> 00:29:39,326
The last one for a wh ile.

584
00:29:39,477 --> 00:29:41,411
park We strolled through Volu n teer park.

585
00:29:41,479 --> 00:29:43,344
Cru ised hotties on Broadway.

586
00:29:43,414 --> 00:29:46,872
Then wen t home and mutually masturbated.

587
00:29:48,286 --> 00:29:49,253
You wish.

588
00:29:54,259 --> 00:29:55,226
Check that o ne out.

589
00:29:56,561 --> 00:29:57,994
I have to have h im .

590
00:29:58,062 --> 00:29:58,994
You're kidding

591
00:30:01,566 --> 00:30:02,717
I want my Ding

592
00:30:02,867 --> 00:30:04,164
I want my Do ng .

593
00:30:04,235 --> 00:30:05,532
I give 'em three weeks .

594
00:30:06,377 --> 00:30:08,866
Once more with sarcasm you sounded a little too jealous

595
00:30:09,947 --> 00:30:11,321
I'm go n na take both of them .

596
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:13,060
Any one wanna dance?

597
00:30:13,428 --> 00:30:15,180
Watch Blowy Joey in action?

598
00:30:15,578 --> 00:30:16,544
C'mon, X.

599
00:30:16,614 --> 00:30:17,706
Come shake your money-maker.

600
00:30:17,782 --> 00:30:20,250
I'm not covered for shaken money-maker syndrome. Sorry.

601
00:30:20,318 --> 00:30:21,717
Laters, Taters

602
00:30:26,457 --> 00:30:28,136
Sorry if I freaked you out last night.

603
00:30:28,693 --> 00:30:30,067
I'm not that freakable.

604
00:30:32,463 --> 00:30:35,381
Still, come to the wedding .

605
00:30:35,866 --> 00:30:37,933
As a fav or to a friend .

606
00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:39,535
I thought you weren't out to anyone back there.

607
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,076
That's what the trip's for.

608
00:30:41,973 --> 00:30:43,724
I do n't th i nk I can do it alo ne.

609
00:30:44,189 --> 00:30:45,708
You talk to y our mother every week.

610
00:30:45,777 --> 00:30:46,781
It'l l be fi ne.

611
00:30:46,911 --> 00:30:48,243
N o, it's d ifferent.

612
00:30:48,713 --> 00:30:51,045
A middle-class black family from Oregon?

613
00:30:51,115 --> 00:30:52,343
It's always different.

614
00:30:52,417 --> 00:30:53,578
For every family.

615
00:30:53,718 --> 00:30:54,844
What'd y our family do?

616
00:30:54,919 --> 00:30:57,319
They never noticed when I left home, so I certainly

617
00:30:57,388 --> 00:30:59,879
d id n't cal l to tel l them who I was fucki ng .

618
00:31:00,472 --> 00:31:01,620
I thought you hadn't fucked anyone

619
00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:02,555
since you were twelve.

620
00:31:03,027 --> 00:31:04,995
You k now what I mean .

621
00:31:05,063 --> 00:31:07,031
I wis h I d id .

622
00:31:10,201 --> 00:31:11,293
I'l l go .

623
00:31:13,071 --> 00:31:14,538
As a friend .

624
00:31:16,741 --> 00:31:18,732
They're totally taki ng me to a bathroom stall

625
00:31:19,577 --> 00:31:20,737
Andrew?

626
00:31:20,812 --> 00:31:22,973
Wi l l y ou stand guard?

627
00:31:25,984 --> 00:31:27,542
You owe me big .

628
00:31:28,152 --> 00:31:29,380
Thank you B.R.B !

629
00:31:36,928 --> 00:31:38,691
You migh t find it domestic, but there's

630
00:31:38,763 --> 00:31:41,205
a certain sense of power that a garden gives you

631
00:31:41,933 --> 00:31:42,729
lt's almost godlik e.

632
00:31:45,670 --> 00:31:46,804
Got s h it?

633
00:31:47,205 --> 00:31:48,673
Buttloads .

634
00:31:50,389 --> 00:31:51,866
I j ust put J u n ior to bed .

635
00:31:52,909 --> 00:31:54,612
He's growi ng s o fast.

636
00:31:55,172 --> 00:31:56,534
Wel l, I d id n't check that.

637
00:32:10,895 --> 00:32:12,394
Are y ou i n lo ve with me?

638
00:32:13,227 --> 00:32:14,810
Abs o lutely not.

639
00:32:14,882 --> 00:32:16,445
Why did l say that?

640
00:32:16,921 --> 00:32:19,694
Oh god whatever you do do not jump off this building.

641
00:32:23,675 --> 00:32:25,004
I thought I was in love with y ou .

642
00:32:25,877 --> 00:32:27,024
For the longest time.

643
00:32:27,745 --> 00:32:29,804
Until I realized we couldn't be together.

644
00:32:30,248 --> 00:32:33,411
Why, you want an open relationship too?

645
00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:35,156
Actually, yeah . Partly that.

646
00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:36,776
You've been spending too much time

647
00:32:36,854 --> 00:32:38,515
i n the land of B lowy J oey.

648
00:32:38,589 --> 00:32:41,114
Okay, you'd give up hooking for a relationship?

649
00:32:41,383 --> 00:32:42,893
Don't call it that.

650
00:32:44,429 --> 00:32:47,850
You'd g ive up your career for monogamy?

651
00:32:48,132 --> 00:32:50,362
That's not cheating That's just business .

652
00:32:50,435 --> 00:32:53,147
Don't even pretend y ou don't know how fucked up that sounds .

653
00:32:53,438 --> 00:32:55,872
To the logical person it makes sense.

654
00:32:57,015 --> 00:32:58,667
Wou ld y ou ever co ns ider qu itti ng?

655
00:33:01,112 --> 00:33:02,807
I make a lot of fucki ng mo ney.

656
00:33:04,916 --> 00:33:06,647
I can't do anyth i ng else.

657
00:33:07,085 --> 00:33:09,651
I do n't want to do anyth i ng else, I'm go od at it.

658
00:33:09,887 --> 00:33:11,578
I got noth i n' but lo ve for y ou bab y,

659
00:33:11,923 --> 00:33:13,929
but y ou're twenty-five.

660
00:33:14,092 --> 00:33:17,391
And that's already over the hill for a lot of logical people.

661
00:33:17,462 --> 00:33:20,260
And worki ng at a videostore has a promising future?

662
00:33:20,331 --> 00:33:21,520
It's legal .

663
00:33:23,301 --> 00:33:26,031
So, if I were dati ng y ou, I cou ld s leep with my same

664
00:33:26,104 --> 00:33:28,800
twelve cl ients, as long as I didn't get paid?

665
00:33:28,873 --> 00:33:29,971
If it made you happy.

666
00:33:30,475 --> 00:33:33,152
Getti ng paid makes me happ y.

667
00:33:33,378 --> 00:33:35,061
It hurts me.

668
00:33:35,613 --> 00:33:38,431
You fucki ng anything with a cleverscreen name hurts me.

669
00:33:38,883 --> 00:33:40,897
It's like anyone can fulfill you .

670
00:33:41,119 --> 00:33:42,335
What wou ld make me special?

671
00:33:42,653 --> 00:33:45,629
But if I charged them, y ou'd be okay with that?

672
00:33:46,221 --> 00:33:47,551
What makes me special?

673
00:33:47,625 --> 00:33:49,320
There's noth i ng special about y ou

674
00:33:52,363 --> 00:33:53,788
I'm Kidd i ng .

675
00:33:56,810 --> 00:33:57,880
That's y our prob lem .

676
00:33:58,665 --> 00:34:00,372
You're to o fu n ny for y our own go od .

677
00:34:01,392 --> 00:34:02,871
You k now why I do n't always l isten to y ou?

678
00:34:04,842 --> 00:34:06,860
Because s ometimes I do n't feel l ike laug h i ng .

679
00:34:07,111 --> 00:34:07,805
N o .

680
00:34:08,346 --> 00:34:11,645
The real prob lem is, I used to l ive with a decent,

681
00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:16,415
attractive guy who s ometimes I imag i ned dati ng o ne day.

682
00:34:16,922 --> 00:34:21,550
But that guy has become a very ug ly faggot who wi l l

683
00:34:21,626 --> 00:34:25,323
suck off anyth i ng with a cock and probab ly d ie

684
00:34:25,396 --> 00:34:29,389
long before achieving his dream of becoming manager of Videomania.

685
00:34:30,234 --> 00:34:33,528
Forgiv e me Father, l was wrathful.

686
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:38,398
Okay, y ou wi n .

687
00:34:43,815 --> 00:34:45,009
Always do .

688
00:34:57,862 --> 00:34:59,022
Is that a cross word?

689
00:35:01,566 --> 00:35:02,430
Yeah

690
00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:07,435
Sometimes y ou amaze me.

691
00:35:10,007 --> 00:35:12,906
Andrew says to say he's not talki ng to y ou .

692
00:35:15,580 --> 00:35:16,478
Wel l, tel l Andrew--

693
00:35:16,547 --> 00:35:18,947
Make it go od, 'cause y ou each get o ne message.

694
00:35:19,016 --> 00:35:19,983
I do n't wan na be aski n' peop le to

695
00:35:20,051 --> 00:35:21,780
pass the lube to each other.

696
00:35:23,721 --> 00:35:25,117
J ust tel l h im I said ''okay.''

697
00:35:25,556 --> 00:35:28,992
''Okay.'' C lever, cou ld go either way.

698
00:35:31,496 --> 00:35:31,985
X?

699
00:35:34,866 --> 00:35:36,409
I'm not s o amazi ng .

700
00:35:36,734 --> 00:35:38,065
H u h ?

701
00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:41,572
There's a real ly cute guy at the lau ndromat who always

702
00:35:41,639 --> 00:35:43,522
does the cross word wh i le he's waiti ng .

703
00:35:43,608 --> 00:35:45,974
So I do it ahead of time.

704
00:35:46,043 --> 00:35:48,978
Then if he lo oks stuck, I can help h im and act like

705
00:35:49,046 --> 00:35:50,741
I j ust thoug ht up the ans wer.

706
00:35:52,383 --> 00:35:53,817
You sti l l amaze me.

707
00:35:54,018 --> 00:35:56,612
I'm eig hteen and I've do n't have a j ob or a bo yfriend .

708
00:35:56,687 --> 00:35:59,087
H ow can I ever be rich and famous if I don't

709
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:00,784
even do anyth i ng?

710
00:36:00,858 --> 00:36:04,061
Why is it that gays always feel forty at eighteen ?

711
00:36:04,228 --> 00:36:06,128
That's what co l lege is for.

712
00:36:09,267 --> 00:36:11,394
X?

713
00:36:11,469 --> 00:36:12,697
Yes?

714
00:36:16,974 --> 00:36:18,566
You amaze me too .

715
00:36:41,265 --> 00:36:42,289
l'm a monster.

716
00:36:44,669 --> 00:36:46,967
So, was the dentist y our first?

717
00:36:54,145 --> 00:36:55,806
And there's a story.

718
00:36:58,182 --> 00:36:59,501
About a friend .

719
00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:00,731
N ot about y ou .

720
00:37:02,687 --> 00:37:06,817
Okay, th is story's about cous i ns .

721
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,085
Teenagers .

722
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:11,055
Barely.

723
00:37:11,128 --> 00:37:13,137
Do they have names?

724
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:18,664
Let's call the older one Andy,and the younger one

725
00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:20,295
J o h n?

726
00:37:22,039 --> 00:37:23,438
J o h n .

727
00:37:23,507 --> 00:37:24,689
Let's cal l them that.

728
00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:34,468
Andy was a jock and the cen ter of atten tion.

729
00:37:34,785 --> 00:37:36,309
He en tertai ned the family with tales

730
00:37:36,387 --> 00:37:37,970
of maki ng first stri ng.

731
00:37:38,189 --> 00:37:41,352
Joh n was pudgy and awkward, and the only string

732
00:37:41,425 --> 00:37:44,087
he cared about was the one holdi ng up Andy's sweats.

733
00:37:44,161 --> 00:37:45,570
O h dear.

734
00:37:45,796 --> 00:37:49,391
One Su nday, pick any one, they're alone

735
00:37:49,467 --> 00:37:50,573
i n the basemen t TV room.

736
00:37:51,035 --> 00:37:53,469
Andy b lurts out l got a girlfriend.

737
00:37:53,537 --> 00:37:55,421
Th is ch ick from school, Jennifer.

738
00:37:55,506 --> 00:37:59,206
John hates her name. It's silly and common .

739
00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:00,518
It's no Andy

740
00:38:00,911 --> 00:38:02,503
''What's she look lik e?'' Joh n asks.

741
00:38:02,580 --> 00:38:04,555
''A whole lot better'n y ou. ''

742
00:38:05,249 --> 00:38:08,616
lt's just a joke, but it kills something in John,

743
00:38:08,686 --> 00:38:12,461
who says sure took y ou long enough to start dating girls.

744
00:38:12,990 --> 00:38:14,890
Andy twists J o h n's arm .

745
00:38:15,457 --> 00:38:16,893
''What are y ou try i ng to say?

746
00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:19,361
I to ld y ou I fi nal ly have a g irlfriend

747
00:38:19,430 --> 00:38:21,625
because y ou're my best friend

748
00:38:21,699 --> 00:38:22,782
And J o h n?

749
00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:24,471
Some tears.

750
00:38:24,502 --> 00:38:25,833
Andy apologizes.

751
00:38:25,903 --> 00:38:28,677
He says, l'm just kiddi ng.

752
00:38:29,073 --> 00:38:31,216
l'll always lik e y ou better than her

753
00:38:31,375 --> 00:38:32,236
And then ?

754
00:38:33,077 --> 00:38:35,773
Let's save that for the next v is it.

755
00:38:35,846 --> 00:38:38,406
U h-u h . I'm not fal l i ng for that o ld ruse.

756
00:38:38,482 --> 00:38:40,341
Next v is it beg i ns now.

757
00:38:45,056 --> 00:38:49,254
Andy brushes his head against John's cheek.

758
00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:50,834
Touches his lips .

759
00:38:51,228 --> 00:38:55,664
Like the horny virgins they are, it all happens .

760
00:38:55,900 --> 00:38:57,197
Mmm .

761
00:38:57,268 --> 00:38:59,711
H orny love-struck virgins .

762
00:38:59,804 --> 00:39:00,787
How was it?

763
00:39:01,205 --> 00:39:02,601
U nbel ievab le.

764
00:39:03,140 --> 00:39:06,166
l remember every single thing we did in those

765
00:39:06,243 --> 00:39:07,938
thirty-seven minutes.

766
00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:13,075
It was the first and only time I've ever been taken .

767
00:39:13,150 --> 00:39:14,879
It wo n't be the last.

768
00:39:14,952 --> 00:39:16,671
I certai n ly hope not.

769
00:39:17,638 --> 00:39:21,651
Anyway when it's o ver, Andy pan ics .

770
00:39:21,892 --> 00:39:25,199
He tells John it's wrong, it can 't ever happen again.

771
00:39:25,396 --> 00:39:26,761
He ru ns away.

772
00:39:27,231 --> 00:39:28,743
J o h n's devastated .

773
00:39:29,066 --> 00:39:30,114
What does he do?

774
00:39:30,568 --> 00:39:31,454
He walks home.

775
00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:33,219
Twelv e miles.

776
00:39:33,671 --> 00:39:35,542
When Andy calls, John won't answer.

777
00:39:35,673 --> 00:39:38,164
They never really talk again .

778
00:39:40,878 --> 00:39:42,127
Poor Andy.

779
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:44,795
Poor Andy?

780
00:39:45,249 --> 00:39:48,356
I suppose you think Renaldo and I were happy from the start,

781
00:39:48,456 --> 00:39:50,179
but it's j ust not true.

782
00:39:50,254 --> 00:39:54,728
After our first encounter, he was unavai lable for weeks .

783
00:39:54,859 --> 00:39:56,349
Where'd he go?

784
00:39:56,427 --> 00:40:00,014
I never knew, but when he returned, I confronted him

785
00:40:01,098 --> 00:40:02,661
I said, you're avoiding me.

786
00:40:03,764 --> 00:40:07,067
You're afraid of feeling towards me the way

787
00:40:07,138 --> 00:40:09,662
a man feels towards a lo v er.

788
00:40:09,974 --> 00:40:11,305
And?

789
00:40:11,565 --> 00:40:14,192
That n ig ht he held me s o close.

790
00:40:15,311 --> 00:40:16,961
I k new he lo ved me.

791
00:40:18,883 --> 00:40:21,317
So maybe Andy

792
00:40:22,653 --> 00:40:24,018
Perhaps .

793
00:40:25,656 --> 00:40:27,929
I had n't thoug ht about Andy for years .

794
00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:31,552
And Andrew, the s im i larity of their names

795
00:40:31,629 --> 00:40:33,125
is not lost o n me.

796
00:40:33,933 --> 00:40:36,128
The next few days were awkward arou nd the house.

797
00:40:36,433 --> 00:40:38,665
Andrew was ig nori ng me.

798
00:40:40,638 --> 00:40:41,764
And J oey

799
00:40:44,608 --> 00:40:45,734
I hate y ou both !

800
00:40:51,515 --> 00:40:52,982
Andrew, I'm s orry.

801
00:40:57,788 --> 00:40:59,585
So l poured myself i n to my work.

802
00:41:02,493 --> 00:41:04,188
Twelv e steps to a happier me.

803
00:41:09,567 --> 00:41:11,022
You lo ok hands ome.

804
00:41:11,569 --> 00:41:12,801
Go i ng out?

805
00:41:14,070 --> 00:41:17,213
I haven't left th is apartment for eig ht years .

806
00:41:17,475 --> 00:41:20,376
I'm j ust try i ng to vary the s cenery.

807
00:41:22,746 --> 00:41:25,178
What makes y ou avai lab le to n ig ht?

808
00:41:27,251 --> 00:41:28,912
I guess I'm av o id i ng home.

809
00:41:32,923 --> 00:41:34,834
Why haven't y ou left y our apartment?

810
00:41:35,059 --> 00:41:37,497
I haven't left s i nce Renaldo d ied?

811
00:41:51,501 --> 00:41:52,708
O h, what's th is?

812
00:42:01,585 --> 00:42:02,711
I'm ready, Gregory.

813
00:42:08,092 --> 00:42:10,617
I des ire y ou as much as y ou des ire me.

814
00:42:15,833 --> 00:42:18,566
You do n't des ire me.

815
00:42:18,736 --> 00:42:26,836
You're j ust co nfused and lo nely and horny.

816
00:42:31,148 --> 00:42:32,638
I guess y ou're rig ht.

817
00:42:35,686 --> 00:42:37,278
Any news o n th is wedd i ng?

818
00:42:39,156 --> 00:42:40,529
Why does he want me to go?

819
00:42:41,392 --> 00:42:43,006
What does he want from me?

820
00:42:43,227 --> 00:42:44,595
Yes.

821
00:42:45,289 --> 00:42:47,103
Ex cellen t questions.

822
00:42:47,414 --> 00:42:51,609
A road trip seems a perfect opportu n ity to exp lore them .

823
00:42:59,877 --> 00:43:01,777
I s hou ld be go i ng, it's late.

824
00:43:08,085 --> 00:43:09,552
Aren 't y ou forgetti ng someth i ng?

825
00:43:18,796 --> 00:43:19,922
Thanks .

826
00:43:28,172 --> 00:43:31,436
Dam n, H ottie Central, h i !

827
00:43:31,575 --> 00:43:32,507
Cal l us !

828
00:43:34,878 --> 00:43:36,209
O h my god !

829
00:43:37,247 --> 00:43:39,181
I can stick arou nd .

830
00:43:39,249 --> 00:43:40,273
Likewise.

831
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:44,402
Okay, I'm out.

832
00:43:44,521 --> 00:43:45,783
N ice to meet y ou .

833
00:43:45,856 --> 00:43:47,084
N ig ht, J oey.

834
00:43:51,295 --> 00:43:53,195
I'm s orry, X.

835
00:43:53,263 --> 00:43:54,753
I'm real ly s orry.

836
00:43:54,832 --> 00:43:56,094
It's a free cou ntry.

837
00:44:07,211 --> 00:44:08,576
I d id n't mean to hurt y ou .

838
00:44:09,580 --> 00:44:10,706
Who said I was hurt?

839
00:44:28,065 --> 00:44:30,053
I'm s o totally in love with y ou .

840
00:44:32,159 --> 00:44:37,864
I k now you think I'm a loser and a slut and stupid

841
00:44:37,941 --> 00:44:38,852
J oey

842
00:44:39,276 --> 00:44:40,971
I thoug ht if I could be with Andrew I could

843
00:44:41,045 --> 00:44:42,103
at least be o n y our radar.

844
00:44:46,550 --> 00:44:47,623
I'm s orry.

845
00:44:47,851 --> 00:44:50,786
I do n't th i nk any less of y ou .

846
00:44:53,557 --> 00:44:55,821
Because you never thought any of me i n the first place.

847
00:44:56,260 --> 00:44:58,160
Th is self-p ity routi ne is serious ly --

848
00:45:09,039 --> 00:45:14,602
J oey, since I met y ou there has n't been a day

849
00:45:14,678 --> 00:45:16,202
I d id n't fig ht to stop myself

850
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,373
from ripp i ng off y our clothes .

851
00:45:19,356 --> 00:45:20,390
Liar.

852
00:45:21,129 --> 00:45:24,485
I can th i nk of a hu ndred reas o ns it wou ld be

853
00:45:24,555 --> 00:45:26,009
wo nderfu l to be with y ou .

854
00:45:30,527 --> 00:45:32,124
But I k now it wou ld n't work.

855
00:45:32,791 --> 00:45:34,354
Who cares why it wou ld n't work.

856
00:45:34,431 --> 00:45:36,194
Because we'd fi nd out why.

857
00:45:36,700 --> 00:45:40,067
And we'd lose everyth i ng we have.

858
00:45:40,137 --> 00:45:41,443
It's not s o bad .

859
00:45:42,005 --> 00:45:44,247
Los i ng everyth i ng .

860
00:45:44,808 --> 00:45:46,420
What wou ld y ou k now about that?

861
00:45:47,050 --> 00:45:49,751
Wel l, my whole fucking house burned down once.

862
00:45:50,047 --> 00:45:51,412
Real ly?

863
00:45:51,482 --> 00:45:53,514
I lost everyth i ng .

864
00:45:55,146 --> 00:45:58,885
My dog M i ndy, who j ust learned to s it.

865
00:46:00,991 --> 00:46:02,272
My d iary.

866
00:46:04,149 --> 00:46:05,254
You kept o ne?

867
00:46:07,002 --> 00:46:12,219
From first grade o n . I wrote in it every day.

868
00:46:12,936 --> 00:46:16,343
Al l about figuri ng out how I was gay.

869
00:46:17,708 --> 00:46:18,797
Poetry.

870
00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:21,251
Drawi ngs .

871
00:46:22,991 --> 00:46:25,238
Every experience I had i n the world .

872
00:46:27,137 --> 00:46:27,917
Po of.

873
00:46:30,187 --> 00:46:31,355
I'm s orry.

874
00:46:32,256 --> 00:46:34,053
Be sure to write go od stuff about me.

875
00:46:35,626 --> 00:46:37,104
I do n't keep o ne anymore.

876
00:46:38,762 --> 00:46:41,595
S i nce then I decided to l ive for right now.

877
00:46:44,735 --> 00:46:46,269
C ome o n, J oey.

878
00:46:46,537 --> 00:46:47,868
You're s o cute.

879
00:46:48,641 --> 00:46:50,268
J oey, p lease.

880
00:46:50,607 --> 00:46:52,087
J oey.

881
00:46:52,309 --> 00:46:53,697
J oey?

882
00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:56,836
O h s h it.

883
00:46:56,914 --> 00:46:58,336
J oey, can y ou hear me?

884
00:46:58,882 --> 00:47:00,144
J oey, l isten to me.

885
00:47:00,217 --> 00:47:01,343
I lo ve y ou .

886
00:47:01,418 --> 00:47:02,572
J oey?

887
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,217
Fuck.

888
00:47:04,839 --> 00:47:05,790
Andrew!

889
00:47:05,985 --> 00:47:06,344
Andrew!

890
00:47:06,423 --> 00:47:07,481
It's J oey!

891
00:47:07,558 --> 00:47:08,422
J oey l isten to me.

892
00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:09,481
Everyth i ng's go i ng to be alrig ht.

893
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:10,618
S h it, what happened?

894
00:47:11,595 --> 00:47:13,310
What drugs d id y ou guys do?

895
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:14,462
He drank the rest of that? !

896
00:47:14,531 --> 00:47:15,429
The rest of what?

897
00:47:15,499 --> 00:47:16,227
G H B .

898
00:47:16,250 --> 00:47:17,394
There was l ike another half a dose i n there.

899
00:47:18,202 --> 00:47:19,732
He s hou ld be okay, he j ust fel l out.

900
00:47:20,411 --> 00:47:23,604
Allow me to take this moment for a public service announcement.

901
00:47:23,674 --> 00:47:25,904
l actually adv ocate the legalization of most

902
00:47:25,976 --> 00:47:29,002
recreational drugs, particu larly marijuana.

903
00:47:29,482 --> 00:47:31,027
Especially marijuana.

904
00:47:31,148 --> 00:47:34,292
Legalization and education, lik e with alcohol,

905
00:47:34,418 --> 00:47:37,819
we don't have to rely on urban legend for responsible usage.

906
00:47:37,888 --> 00:47:39,219
What the fuck do y ou mean, fell out?

907
00:47:39,289 --> 00:47:40,449
We s hou ld cal l s omeo ne.

908
00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:43,220
They could put him in jail  G's a tranquilizer.

909
00:47:43,293 --> 00:47:45,557
If y ou do to o much, it wi l l make y ou fal l as leep .

910
00:47:46,259 --> 00:47:45,972
See?

911
00:47:47,022 --> 00:47:48,231
He's okay, he's j ust s leep i ng .

912
00:47:48,632 --> 00:47:50,850
Who'd y ou learn th is from, y our drug dealer?

913
00:47:53,270 --> 00:47:56,070
Trust me, he'l l be fi ne.

914
00:47:56,607 --> 00:47:57,469
Look

915
00:47:59,900 --> 00:48:04,142
I don't care how many drugs or orgies you have,

916
00:48:04,703 --> 00:48:05,920
that's your trip .

917
00:48:07,425 --> 00:48:09,362
But if you hurt Joey

918
00:48:09,653 --> 00:48:12,525
To be fair, they were party i ng when I got here.

919
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:15,824
I parto ok i n the sex, not the drugs .

920
00:48:17,678 --> 00:48:19,152
O h, what a rel ief.

921
00:48:27,237 --> 00:48:28,101
I'm s orry.

922
00:48:33,176 --> 00:48:34,234
It's okay.

923
00:48:36,896 --> 00:48:38,283
I mean about everyth i ng .

924
00:48:39,249 --> 00:48:40,306
No

925
00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:44,948
I'm s orry.

926
00:48:45,022 --> 00:48:48,822
Noone deserves to hear the things I said to you .

927
00:48:49,882 --> 00:48:51,175
You were rig ht.

928
00:48:53,430 --> 00:48:54,830
I was wro ng .

929
00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:07,976
You're not my father!

930
00:49:08,045 --> 00:49:09,979
Yeah, I actually give a shit about you .

931
00:49:10,047 --> 00:49:11,139
You can't ground me!

932
00:49:11,214 --> 00:49:12,203
N o o ne's grounding you .

933
00:49:12,282 --> 00:49:13,600
You can do as you please.

934
00:49:13,717 --> 00:49:16,242
We just really think Andrew or I should go with you

935
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,015
while you go clubbing for a while That's all

936
00:49:18,088 --> 00:49:20,079
It's no b ig deal, people black out every day.

937
00:49:20,157 --> 00:49:22,352
People overdose and die every day.

938
00:49:22,426 --> 00:49:23,984
Do I lo ok l ike Cyndi Lauper?

939
00:49:24,586 --> 00:49:25,588
S he's not dead .

940
00:49:25,638 --> 00:49:26,373
Whoever.

941
00:49:26,730 --> 00:49:29,079
I've been taking care of myself for a long time.

942
00:49:28,999 --> 00:49:30,330
That's the problem .

943
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:32,868
Lo ok ho n, we j ust think o ne of us should

944
00:49:32,936 --> 00:49:34,142
be arou nd for y ou is al l .

945
00:49:34,271 --> 00:49:35,676
Why, s o y ou can fuck me agai n?

946
00:49:36,548 --> 00:49:38,236
H ow about, if I'm go od for three months

947
00:49:38,720 --> 00:49:40,001
X has to fuck me.

948
00:49:40,051 --> 00:49:40,899
Sou nded fair to me.

949
00:49:40,978 --> 00:49:41,732
Hel l no !

950
00:49:41,845 --> 00:49:42,946
I'l l save up my al lowance.

951
00:49:43,013 --> 00:49:43,980
Go to y our ro om !

952
00:49:44,047 --> 00:49:44,979
Fuck y ou !

953
00:49:48,151 --> 00:49:49,379
Sounds l ike a good idea.

954
00:49:52,289 --> 00:49:55,224
Since it was our first date, I figured I'd take Andrew

955
00:49:55,292 --> 00:49:56,623
to Portland in style.

956
00:49:59,930 --> 00:50:01,273
Goddam n !

957
00:50:01,631 --> 00:50:03,064
You rented that for a road trip?

958
00:50:03,133 --> 00:50:04,896
You don't want'em to think you're a fag

959
00:50:04,968 --> 00:50:06,263
and dati ng a loser.

960
00:50:06,536 --> 00:50:09,061
l'm so used to being treated by sugar daddies that

961
00:50:09,139 --> 00:50:11,505
the whole role rev ersal was refreshing.

962
00:50:23,787 --> 00:50:25,542
J oey'l l be alrig ht. Rig ht?

963
00:50:26,176 --> 00:50:29,286
He'l l be fine, it's us I'm worried about.

964
00:50:50,380 --> 00:50:51,507
Ever been o n a road trip?

965
00:50:51,748 --> 00:50:52,839
E ig ht years ago .

966
00:50:53,350 --> 00:50:55,161
God, I keep forgetti ng how o ld y ou are.

967
00:50:55,652 --> 00:50:57,620
I'm l ike a year o lder than y ou .

968
00:50:57,687 --> 00:50:58,915
1 5 mo nths .

969
00:50:58,989 --> 00:51:00,737
And I haven't been gay for a who le decade.

970
00:51:01,258 --> 00:51:02,621
Where'd y ou go?

971
00:51:02,893 --> 00:51:03,964
Seattle.

972
00:51:04,461 --> 00:51:05,928
Go od-b ye smal l town .

973
00:51:05,996 --> 00:51:07,247
Hello smal l city.

974
00:51:08,674 --> 00:51:10,216
I'm glad y ou made the trip .

975
00:51:11,421 --> 00:51:12,454
Both of them .

976
00:51:14,871 --> 00:51:17,663
So why are your parents going to y our ex-fiancee's wedding?

977
00:51:18,826 --> 00:51:24,107
I think there's some hope of a dramatic objection

978
00:51:24,181 --> 00:51:26,239
at the last seco nd when I stop the wedding and

979
00:51:26,550 --> 00:51:28,140
co nfess my lo ve for J i l l .

980
00:51:28,285 --> 00:51:29,582
Th is s hou ld be fu n .

981
00:51:30,513 --> 00:51:31,893
H ow lo ng were y ou with J i l l?

982
00:51:32,289 --> 00:51:34,614
E ngaged for a year, dated for three.

983
00:51:35,124 --> 00:51:36,568
S he does n't k now I'm gay.

984
00:51:37,260 --> 00:51:39,309
Al l because y ou wanted to do her brother?

985
00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:41,063
Do n't tel l me y ou have a kid s omewhere.

986
00:51:41,131 --> 00:51:42,080
N o .

987
00:51:43,030 --> 00:51:44,204
Maybe s omeday thoug h .

988
00:51:45,802 --> 00:51:46,630
H ow about y ou?

989
00:51:47,304 --> 00:51:48,513
J oey's p lenty.

990
00:51:49,206 --> 00:51:50,436
You're real ly go od with h im .

991
00:51:51,174 --> 00:51:52,835
You to o, apparently.

992
00:51:54,878 --> 00:51:57,669
Serious ly, y ou'd make a go od father.

993
00:51:58,775 --> 00:52:00,579
The o n ly go od fatherly qual ity about me

994
00:52:00,650 --> 00:52:02,584
is that I k now I s hou ld n't have kids .

995
00:52:19,369 --> 00:52:20,471
Make any mo ney?

996
00:52:20,804 --> 00:52:23,830
Nah, but I shoved my business cards in the glory holes .

997
00:52:26,910 --> 00:52:29,606
So am I pretending to be your boyfriend?

998
00:52:30,780 --> 00:52:31,804
Roommate?

999
00:52:31,882 --> 00:52:32,800
Fuckbuddy?

1000
00:52:34,584 --> 00:52:36,001
Let's j ust p lay it b y ear.

1001
00:52:36,786 --> 00:52:38,987
Anyth i ng else s hou ld I k now about your family?

1002
00:52:39,356 --> 00:52:40,467
They're b lack.

1003
00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:43,431
O h, let's go back to Seattle.

1004
00:52:43,693 --> 00:52:45,183
l'v e heard about those people.

1005
00:52:46,196 --> 00:52:48,552
You'll probably be the only white guy at this thing .

1006
00:52:48,665 --> 00:52:50,360
I've never been o ne to fit i n .

1007
00:52:50,433 --> 00:52:52,901
Have you been anywhere where you were the only white person?

1008
00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:55,938
At least I wo n't be the only fag .

1009
00:53:04,281 --> 00:53:05,475
l lo v e club music.

1010
00:53:05,549 --> 00:53:07,141
Ev eryth i ng is so cut and dried.

1011
00:53:07,217 --> 00:53:09,151
You lo v e someone, set them free.

1012
00:53:09,219 --> 00:53:10,914
Lo v e me or let me go.

1013
00:53:10,987 --> 00:53:12,420
Pro v e y our lo v e.

1014
00:53:12,489 --> 00:53:13,956
My lo v e is y our lo v e.

1015
00:53:14,024 --> 00:53:15,685
lt's love or it's not love.

1016
00:53:15,759 --> 00:53:17,056
Love is sex.

1017
00:53:17,127 --> 00:53:18,340
Sex is love.

1018
00:53:18,695 --> 00:53:20,788
l defy you to find a club an them that says l love you

1019
00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:23,332
but l'm not really sure what love is all about

1020
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,130
and l still want to have sex with blah-blah-blah

1021
00:53:26,203 --> 00:53:28,330
Those th i ngs are harder to rhyme.

1022
00:53:30,907 --> 00:53:32,094
Take y our time.

1023
00:53:32,709 --> 00:53:33,641
P lease.

1024
00:53:34,678 --> 00:53:36,261
So what are y our fo lks' names?

1025
00:53:36,846 --> 00:53:38,143
That m ig ht be helpfu l .

1026
00:53:38,326 --> 00:53:40,070
Oren and Zelma.

1027
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:41,572
And there's C heyen ne.

1028
00:53:42,241 --> 00:53:42,945
Who?

1029
00:53:43,124 --> 00:53:44,316
My s ister.

1030
00:53:44,387 --> 00:53:45,358
She's twelve.

1031
00:53:45,522 --> 00:53:48,218
Imagine me with corn rows, A-cups

1032
00:53:48,291 --> 00:53:50,193
and a mouth the s ize of Lake U n io n .

1033
00:53:50,792 --> 00:53:52,787
I usual ly do .

1034
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:58,724
Hel lo bab y!

1035
00:54:02,622 --> 00:54:04,394
Th is is my ro ommate.

1036
00:54:04,494 --> 00:54:05,774
I to ld y our ass he was gay!

1037
00:54:05,842 --> 00:54:07,275
And I to ld y ou Andrew wi l l talk about it

1038
00:54:07,344 --> 00:54:08,452
when he is ready to .

1039
00:54:08,645 --> 00:54:09,907
He lo oks ready to me.

1040
00:54:09,980 --> 00:54:11,106
Do n't m i nd C heyen ne.

1041
00:54:11,181 --> 00:54:12,964
S he's been watch i ng to o much Showtime.

1042
00:54:13,673 --> 00:54:15,415
H ow lo ng y ou been dati ng my brother?

1043
00:54:15,485 --> 00:54:16,497
C heyen ne!

1044
00:54:17,508 --> 00:54:19,933
So how lo ng y ou bo ys been roommates?

1045
00:54:20,272 --> 00:54:21,659
J ust o ver a year, s ir.

1046
00:54:21,709 --> 00:54:22,663
A year?

1047
00:54:22,726 --> 00:54:24,193
That's a lo ng time.

1048
00:54:24,759 --> 00:54:26,855
I'm happ y to see y ou're not alo ne.

1049
00:54:33,069 --> 00:54:34,101
H ow lo ng have y ou k nown?

1050
00:54:35,691 --> 00:54:37,112
S i nce y ou were eig ht.

1051
00:54:38,232 --> 00:54:40,657
But I was n't sure until you broke up with Jill

1052
00:54:41,678 --> 00:54:43,542
And what l i ne of business you in son?

1053
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:44,746
I co l lect etch i ngs .

1054
00:54:45,148 --> 00:54:46,386
You mean l ike, art?

1055
00:54:46,716 --> 00:54:48,274
Like pres idents .

1056
00:54:48,351 --> 00:54:49,307
On do l lar b i l ls .

1057
00:54:49,552 --> 00:54:51,213
Better not be no drug dealer.

1058
00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:52,017
C heyen ne!

1059
00:54:52,656 --> 00:54:54,463
O h, noth i ng as g lamorous as that.

1060
00:54:54,724 --> 00:54:56,021
I p lay the stock market.

1061
00:54:56,092 --> 00:54:57,787
With enough real estate and bonds in my back pocket

1062
00:54:57,861 --> 00:54:59,385
for when things go s our.

1063
00:54:59,612 --> 00:55:01,430
A man after my own heart.

1064
00:55:05,602 --> 00:55:07,194
D id we do something that made you think

1065
00:55:07,270 --> 00:55:08,100
you could n't tell us?

1066
00:55:09,973 --> 00:55:10,843
N o, Ma.

1067
00:55:12,334 --> 00:55:13,843
You d id everyth i ng rig ht.

1068
00:55:22,452 --> 00:55:23,817
I'm g lad y ou have s omeo ne.

1069
00:55:26,423 --> 00:55:29,221
And dam n, he is fi ne.

1070
00:55:34,831 --> 00:55:38,142
Damn I forgot to make up the guestroom !

1071
00:55:38,538 --> 00:55:40,988
You don't have a problem sharing Andrew's bed do you?

1072
00:55:42,046 --> 00:55:43,603
Not at all Mrs.Thompson

1073
00:55:44,251 --> 00:55:45,470
Call me Zelma.

1074
00:55:46,910 --> 00:55:49,190
Well that wasn't so hard

1075
00:55:49,686 --> 00:55:52,301
It's like they would've been upset if I wasn't gay.

1076
00:55:52,349 --> 00:55:53,884
What's up with that?

1077
00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:55,476
I didn't give them credit

1078
00:55:56,052 --> 00:55:59,465
I'm glad I could provide you with immoral support.

1079
00:56:04,794 --> 00:56:07,592
This is my ultimate fantasy.

1080
00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:10,863
In your child hood bed?

1081
00:56:10,934 --> 00:56:11,504
Hell yeah .

1082
00:56:13,269 --> 00:56:14,668
With y our fo lks i n the house?

1083
00:56:14,916 --> 00:56:15,975
Even hotter.

1084
00:56:16,373 --> 00:56:18,068
It feels weird .

1085
00:56:18,141 --> 00:56:20,359
I mean there's like booties and shit hanging on the wall .

1086
00:56:20,477 --> 00:56:21,271
Dam n !

1087
00:56:22,445 --> 00:56:23,844
It feels l ike y ou feel just fine.

1088
00:56:30,820 --> 00:56:31,548
Andrew.

1089
00:56:34,491 --> 00:56:35,458
Do y ou lo ve me?

1090
00:56:38,661 --> 00:56:39,719
I do n't k now.

1091
00:56:45,001 --> 00:56:45,990
Never m i nd .

1092
00:56:47,437 --> 00:56:49,905
Forgive me if I don't know if I'm in love with you yet.

1093
00:56:51,207 --> 00:56:52,538
Let's j ust stop talki ng about it.

1094
00:56:52,609 --> 00:56:54,076
Before I say s ometh i ng funny.

1095
00:56:56,913 --> 00:57:02,010
I mean, do n't get offended X, but can you have sex

1096
00:57:02,085 --> 00:57:03,703
without getti ng paid for it?

1097
00:57:03,953 --> 00:57:05,545
What do y ou want from me, Andrew?

1098
00:57:05,672 --> 00:57:07,283
You can't change me.

1099
00:57:07,357 --> 00:57:08,619
I do n't care y ou're a ho oker.

1100
00:57:08,691 --> 00:57:09,680
It's not even about that.

1101
00:57:09,759 --> 00:57:10,642
What is it about?

1102
00:57:11,651 --> 00:57:13,137
It's about

1103
00:57:14,523 --> 00:57:16,006
It's about taki ng a chance.

1104
00:57:17,067 --> 00:57:18,932
I do n't k now if we'l l fallin love.

1105
00:57:19,330 --> 00:57:20,769
Lo ve is n't a transactio n .

1106
00:57:20,837 --> 00:57:23,300
You do n't j ust get what y ou put i n .

1107
00:57:24,423 --> 00:57:27,162
You have no idea what y ou're talki ng about.

1108
00:57:28,478 --> 00:57:30,106
Let's j ust cal l it a n ig ht.

1109
00:57:35,819 --> 00:57:39,550
If you keep pushing me away sooner or later

1110
00:57:39,622 --> 00:57:40,604
I'm go i ng to g ive up .

1111
00:57:42,192 --> 00:57:43,706
That's why l lik e hustli ng.

1112
00:57:43,993 --> 00:57:46,018
l can predict those relationsh ips.

1113
00:57:46,196 --> 00:57:48,563
C lien ts fu lfill my need for human con tact

1114
00:57:48,631 --> 00:57:50,993
and ev ery date has money back guaran tee.

1115
00:57:52,327 --> 00:57:56,500
Forgive me Father l was too proud to admit he was right.

1116
00:58:03,112 --> 00:58:04,136
Who's Gregory?

1117
00:58:06,349 --> 00:58:07,281
What?

1118
00:58:08,718 --> 00:58:10,151
You talk i n y our s leep .

1119
00:58:10,787 --> 00:58:11,769
Liar.

1120
00:58:12,755 --> 00:58:16,032
If you'd slept with someone they would've told you .

1121
00:58:17,056 --> 00:58:18,980
You said,Gregory, I'm ready

1122
00:58:23,933 --> 00:58:25,332
He's one of my clients

1123
00:58:28,605 --> 00:58:29,902
That's d isgusti ng .

1124
00:58:31,608 --> 00:58:34,236
Th is wholething was a mistake.

1125
00:58:34,310 --> 00:58:35,436
You're tel l i ng me.

1126
00:58:38,448 --> 00:58:40,006
At least y ou're out to the family now.

1127
00:58:40,083 --> 00:58:41,550
P lease tel l me y ou put these here.

1128
00:58:45,188 --> 00:58:47,423
God, Mom must've do ne it.

1129
00:58:47,490 --> 00:58:49,253
That's s o embarrass i ng .

1130
00:58:50,927 --> 00:58:51,951
Hate to d isappo i nt her.

1131
00:58:56,099 --> 00:58:58,067
But no prob lem d isappo i nti ng me.

1132
00:59:01,604 --> 00:59:02,849
So, let's speed th is up .

1133
00:59:03,373 --> 00:59:04,995
Tel l me y ou want me to g ive up .

1134
00:59:06,843 --> 00:59:07,935
Bo ys ?!

1135
00:59:08,011 --> 00:59:09,152
Breakfast!

1136
00:59:09,679 --> 00:59:11,060
Okay.

1137
00:59:47,750 --> 00:59:48,842
Andrew? !

1138
00:59:49,519 --> 00:59:50,486
Candace!

1139
00:59:50,553 --> 00:59:51,243
H ow ya been?

1140
00:59:51,554 --> 00:59:52,910
Real ly great!

1141
00:59:53,122 --> 00:59:54,749
It's awes ome to see y ou !

1142
00:59:54,824 --> 00:59:55,722
Where is everybody?

1143
00:59:55,792 --> 00:59:56,310
JJ ?

1144
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:56,813
And Sheila?

1145
00:59:56,863 --> 01:00:00,254
Jill said she couldn't trust nobody after you dogged her.

1146
01:00:01,898 --> 01:00:03,661
Who's he?

1147
01:00:03,733 --> 01:00:07,169
O h, my, um, ro om-- partner.

1148
01:00:07,236 --> 01:00:08,635
Ro om partner?

1149
01:00:10,256 --> 01:00:11,697
O h !

1150
01:00:11,774 --> 01:00:12,706
H i .

1151
01:00:12,775 --> 01:00:13,764
Andrew!

1152
01:00:13,843 --> 01:00:16,971
J i l l is go n na s h it when s he sees y ou !

1153
01:00:17,046 --> 01:00:18,146
S he means that i n a go od way.

1154
01:00:19,125 --> 01:00:21,343
And lo ok what ya broug ht with ya.

1155
01:00:21,417 --> 01:00:23,385
Th is is J i l l's mother Mrs Stevens

1156
01:00:23,453 --> 01:00:25,717
Matthew is not go n na be happ y.

1157
01:00:31,060 --> 01:00:33,446
Is Matthew? Jill's brother.

1158
01:00:34,864 --> 01:00:38,712
He got dumped last week so he is not in a good mood

1159
01:00:39,502 --> 01:00:41,977
So, why d id J i l l i nv ite me?

1160
01:00:42,205 --> 01:00:43,695
Of al l peop le.

1161
01:00:43,773 --> 01:00:46,799
My theory she wants to rub it in your face

1162
01:00:46,876 --> 01:00:49,902
how happy she is marrying a profootball player and all

1163
01:00:49,979 --> 01:00:51,571
Pro fo otbal l p layer?

1164
01:00:51,648 --> 01:00:54,515
Well you ain't heard of him cause he technically hasn't

1165
01:00:54,584 --> 01:00:56,558
played yet or anyth i ng .

1166
01:00:56,719 --> 01:00:58,355
But he's o n the payro l l .

1167
01:00:58,421 --> 01:01:00,013
Like an alternate or s ometh i ng .

1168
01:01:08,197 --> 01:01:10,053
Those are not friends of the bride.

1169
01:01:18,107 --> 01:01:19,193
What are y ou do i ng?

1170
01:01:19,642 --> 01:01:21,009
Accepti ng who I am .

1171
01:01:21,344 --> 01:01:23,068
It feels l ike y ou're s howi ng off.

1172
01:01:26,816 --> 01:01:29,141
Andrew, y ou seen Matthew?

1173
01:01:29,285 --> 01:01:30,377
N o .

1174
01:01:30,951 --> 01:01:32,387
G lad I d id n't m iss that.

1175
01:01:45,368 --> 01:01:47,791
I k now it's corny, but is n't it romantic?

1176
01:01:50,907 --> 01:01:53,061
I do n't bel ieve y ou want me to give up .

1177
01:01:55,411 --> 01:01:56,378
Do n't spo i l it.

1178
01:02:00,450 --> 01:02:02,680
I wonder if we'll ever be able to do this in our lifetime.

1179
01:02:17,633 --> 01:02:18,788
I'm g lad y ou came.

1180
01:02:22,004 --> 01:02:23,475
I thoug ht y ou'd be alo ne.

1181
01:02:24,474 --> 01:02:26,761
Wel l, I'm not.

1182
01:02:27,451 --> 01:02:29,001
I d id n't mean it l ike that.

1183
01:02:29,145 --> 01:02:30,585
I'm g lad y ou're with s omeo ne.

1184
01:02:31,314 --> 01:02:32,070
It's j ust--

1185
01:02:33,883 --> 01:02:35,051
There's Matthew.

1186
01:02:35,318 --> 01:02:36,101
O h?

1187
01:02:37,453 --> 01:02:38,477
Where?

1188
01:02:40,289 --> 01:02:41,813
Hey Drew!

1189
01:02:41,891 --> 01:02:43,242
I m issed the s h it out of y ou !

1190
01:02:49,132 --> 01:02:51,293
You're gay?

1191
01:02:51,963 --> 01:02:53,528
I thought Jill announced it in the invites .

1192
01:02:53,603 --> 01:02:54,535
Ha ha.

1193
01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:56,128
B itch, y ou to ld a lot of fuckin' peop le.

1194
01:02:56,205 --> 01:02:58,366
B itch, y ou tried to mack o n my man .

1195
01:02:59,408 --> 01:03:00,705
Wel l bab y, y ou can take th is o ne.

1196
01:03:00,777 --> 01:03:01,536
I'm throug h with h im .

1197
01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:07,750
Jill said you were funny with the sex thing .

1198
01:03:22,465 --> 01:03:25,332
I can put some frosting on a Dorito if you want.

1199
01:03:25,982 --> 01:03:27,866
Can y ou make it half a Dorito?

1200
01:03:28,905 --> 01:03:30,860
H i . I'm J i l l, the bride.

1201
01:03:31,174 --> 01:03:32,670
We haven't had a chance to meet.

1202
01:03:33,042 --> 01:03:34,236
C o ngratu latio ns .

1203
01:03:34,310 --> 01:03:36,762
-I'm a -Andrew's ro om-partner.

1204
01:03:36,979 --> 01:03:38,947
I wo nder why he didn't mention you .

1205
01:03:39,645 --> 01:03:40,277
I do n't k now.

1206
01:03:40,349 --> 01:03:41,676
He talks about y ou al l the time.

1207
01:03:41,784 --> 01:03:42,688
Real ly?

1208
01:03:42,852 --> 01:03:44,120
What does he say?

1209
01:03:44,287 --> 01:03:47,620
Well, just that you were still are

1210
01:03:47,690 --> 01:03:49,180
the lo ve of h is l ife.

1211
01:03:49,854 --> 01:03:50,282
H o ney.

1212
01:03:50,359 --> 01:03:51,826
I k now y ou're j ust trying to be nice.

1213
01:03:52,093 --> 01:03:54,388
But I'm o ver Andrew. Really.

1214
01:03:55,631 --> 01:03:58,498
I th i nk it's my brother who needs comforting .

1215
01:04:07,910 --> 01:04:09,434
Pleasure meeting you

1216
01:04:14,350 --> 01:04:15,544
Hey, U ncle X.

1217
01:04:18,421 --> 01:04:19,765
O h, hey C heyen ne.

1218
01:04:20,502 --> 01:04:22,547
Th is makes y ou my u ncle, does n't it?

1219
01:04:23,621 --> 01:04:24,489
I think it would be something more like

1220
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:25,720
y our brother-i n-law

1221
01:04:34,637 --> 01:04:36,400
Maybe ex-brother-i n-law.

1222
01:04:55,424 --> 01:04:56,789
Hey do n't m i nd me.

1223
01:05:00,263 --> 01:05:01,340
I g ive up .

1224
01:05:03,099 --> 01:05:04,498
You wi n agai n .

1225
01:05:09,071 --> 01:05:10,599
I real ly wanted a d ifferent end i ng .

1226
01:05:12,821 --> 01:05:14,471
As lo ng as we get an end i ng .

1227
01:05:24,954 --> 01:05:28,481
Forgive me Father l was i nsanely jealous.

1228
01:05:34,163 --> 01:05:35,396
What are y ou do i ng?

1229
01:05:36,755 --> 01:05:38,962
S h it. Th is is n't their rental?

1230
01:05:45,007 --> 01:05:47,601
lt wasn't a practical decision to leave Portland without him,

1231
01:05:47,677 --> 01:05:49,872
but l couldn 't face five hours in a car with him.

1232
01:05:50,346 --> 01:05:51,506
l reserv ed h im a plane tick et

1233
01:05:51,580 --> 01:05:53,013
and left a message on h is cell.

1234
01:05:53,082 --> 01:05:54,913
l'm not a total asshole.

1235
01:05:56,485 --> 01:05:58,077
l hate cars.

1236
01:05:58,154 --> 01:05:59,280
l miss my b ik e.

1237
01:06:08,497 --> 01:06:10,556
l cou ldn 't th i nk of anywhere else to go.

1238
01:06:18,274 --> 01:06:21,066
Don't any couples just fall in love and that's that?

1239
01:06:21,677 --> 01:06:24,040
Very few, I suspect.

1240
01:06:24,513 --> 01:06:28,612
He said I could keep hustling, but it'd hurt him .

1241
01:06:31,787 --> 01:06:33,487
What's keeping you from quitting?

1242
01:06:35,291 --> 01:06:36,588
The truth is

1243
01:06:38,761 --> 01:06:39,951
I l ike it.

1244
01:06:42,498 --> 01:06:43,796
And that's it?

1245
01:06:44,166 --> 01:06:45,925
I do n't k now.

1246
01:06:46,882 --> 01:06:48,136
l th i nk y ou do.

1247
01:06:51,774 --> 01:06:53,780
When a cl ient pays me

1248
01:06:55,119 --> 01:06:57,442
it feels l ike a rel ief.

1249
01:06:58,118 --> 01:07:00,983
Someth i ng i ns ide me let's go .

1250
01:07:01,317 --> 01:07:03,444
Do y ou th i nk y ou cou ld feel the same

1251
01:07:03,519 --> 01:07:09,120
if y our were paid in feelings instead of money?

1252
01:07:09,225 --> 01:07:11,013
That's hard to imagine.

1253
01:07:11,260 --> 01:07:12,955
Maybe y ou s hou ld g ive y our imagination

1254
01:07:13,029 --> 01:07:14,223
more of a chance.

1255
01:07:17,399 --> 01:07:19,429
What broug ht y ou here?

1256
01:07:42,558 --> 01:07:46,085
We're friends now, but do n't let that stop you

1257
01:07:46,162 --> 01:07:48,687
from treati ng me l ike a comp lete s lut.

1258
01:08:46,956 --> 01:08:48,514
If y ou're smart, y ou probab ly guessed

1259
01:08:48,591 --> 01:08:50,491
I fou nd Gregory dead the next morning .

1260
01:08:50,559 --> 01:08:51,924
Every story with a charm i ng old man ends

1261
01:08:51,994 --> 01:08:53,757
i n a heart-tugg i ng fu neral .

1262
01:08:57,366 --> 01:08:58,492
Wel l I d id n't.

1263
01:08:59,168 --> 01:09:00,613
That m ig ht've been eas ier.

1264
01:09:19,822 --> 01:09:24,657
Forg ive me Father, I consumed more than I required .

1265
01:09:32,835 --> 01:09:33,998
Are y ou a friend of Gregory's?

1266
01:09:34,870 --> 01:09:36,269
A very go od friend .

1267
01:09:36,338 --> 01:09:37,162
And y ou are?

1268
01:09:37,740 --> 01:09:38,866
Als o a go od friend .

1269
01:09:39,024 --> 01:09:41,569
He gets o lder, they get y ou nger.

1270
01:09:43,646 --> 01:09:44,812
Renaldo?

1271
01:09:44,980 --> 01:09:47,453
Why yes, he talked about But, you're dead .

1272
01:09:47,883 --> 01:09:50,718
I do n't k now what foolishness he's been up to,

1273
01:09:50,835 --> 01:09:53,371
but I assure y ou, I'm qu ite al ive.

1274
01:09:54,217 --> 01:09:55,445
You're h is lo ver?

1275
01:09:55,724 --> 01:09:57,316
Gregory's not gay.

1276
01:09:57,393 --> 01:09:59,315
At least he wo n't adm it to it.

1277
01:09:59,428 --> 01:10:01,953
I don't k now why he bothers keeping up the charade

1278
01:10:02,031 --> 01:10:03,794
after s o many years .

1279
01:10:04,378 --> 01:10:05,392
H ow do y ou k now h im?

1280
01:10:06,283 --> 01:10:07,331
He pays me!

1281
01:10:10,239 --> 01:10:12,002
Gregory was one of my first friends,

1282
01:10:12,074 --> 01:10:14,736
a role-model for how l saw myself as an old queer.

1283
01:10:14,810 --> 01:10:17,677
That withered old shit spent months fucking with my head

1284
01:10:17,746 --> 01:10:20,476
lik e a horny Hannibal Lecter with his sepia stories

1285
01:10:20,549 --> 01:10:22,675
of preh istoric teen porn.

1286
01:10:22,952 --> 01:10:25,648
And l fell for ev ery word, spru ng from a self-serving,

1287
01:10:25,721 --> 01:10:28,281
self-loath i ng lie to keep him in h is closet.

1288
01:10:30,459 --> 01:10:31,949
l fuck ed h im because l wan ted h im

1289
01:10:32,027 --> 01:10:33,818
and l had sh it to show for it.

1290
01:10:34,063 --> 01:10:36,691
Th is is ex actly what l hate about the gay scene.

1291
01:10:37,168 --> 01:10:38,062
Sex for noth i ng.

1292
01:10:38,500 --> 01:10:40,280
He s ou nds l ike a ps y chopath .

1293
01:10:41,021 --> 01:10:43,103
A goddam ned charm i ng ps y chopath .

1294
01:11:22,378 --> 01:11:25,472
Wait, l'm not qu ite as pathetic as l shou ld be.

1295
01:11:28,417 --> 01:11:29,351
There.

1296
01:11:29,551 --> 01:11:31,075
Much more C harlie Brown.

1297
01:11:41,864 --> 01:11:43,525
Th is is what l deserv e for th i nki ng maybe

1298
01:11:43,599 --> 01:11:46,500
gay men are capable of loving something other than themselves.

1299
01:11:47,670 --> 01:11:49,211
l'm not ev en sure l lo v e myself.

1300
01:11:49,905 --> 01:11:52,203
l'd dump me the second someth i ng better came along.

1301
01:11:57,646 --> 01:11:59,067
The lesb ians hav e it easy.

1302
01:11:59,248 --> 01:12:00,909
Sure they have all that dyke drama,

1303
01:12:00,983 --> 01:12:03,110
but it's only because they give a shit about each other.

1304
01:12:05,054 --> 01:12:05,884
Fuck th is.

1305
01:12:23,735 --> 01:12:24,864
You must be J oey.

1306
01:12:25,374 --> 01:12:28,366
There's this old guy here who wants to see you .

1307
01:12:30,145 --> 01:12:30,897
What?

1308
01:12:31,213 --> 01:12:32,805
Yeah, and he wants tea.

1309
01:12:37,820 --> 01:12:38,980
Andrew.

1310
01:12:39,054 --> 01:12:39,986
You do n't k now me.

1311
01:12:40,622 --> 01:12:41,744
C orrect.

1312
01:12:42,057 --> 01:12:43,518
I'm a friend of X's .

1313
01:12:43,926 --> 01:12:45,018
Gregory Talbot.

1314
01:12:47,229 --> 01:12:49,424
The Gregory he, uh, works with?

1315
01:12:49,498 --> 01:12:50,205
I ndeed .

1316
01:12:51,100 --> 01:12:52,421
He spoke of me?

1317
01:12:54,403 --> 01:12:55,376
Tech n ical ly.

1318
01:12:59,108 --> 01:13:00,453
Why do n't y ou put o n s ome tea.

1319
01:13:00,709 --> 01:13:02,721
P lease, who has tea?

1320
01:13:04,713 --> 01:13:07,307
J ust warm up s ome water and I'l l be fi ne.

1321
01:13:12,755 --> 01:13:17,522
I haven't been out of my rooms since Diana's memorial,

1322
01:13:17,593 --> 01:13:19,048
but I thoug ht th is was worth it.

1323
01:13:19,661 --> 01:13:21,505
M ig ht I have a few moments of your time?

1324
01:13:21,864 --> 01:13:23,757
I assume it's about X?

1325
01:13:24,507 --> 01:13:26,127
He's very upset.

1326
01:13:27,436 --> 01:13:29,259
And he sent y ou here of al l people?

1327
01:13:29,438 --> 01:13:31,201
I assure y ou, he'd disembowel me

1328
01:13:31,273 --> 01:13:33,318
if he were aware of my presence.

1329
01:13:36,145 --> 01:13:37,660
I'm l isten i ng .

1330
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:41,277
I told him the story of two young men who declared

1331
01:13:41,350 --> 01:13:43,097
their lo ve for each other.

1332
01:13:43,519 --> 01:13:46,579
They lived a long and happy life together.

1333
01:13:48,490 --> 01:13:49,919
H ow s weet.

1334
01:13:50,025 --> 01:13:53,426
One order of freshly microwaved tap water.

1335
01:13:53,495 --> 01:13:55,053
Smells delicious .

1336
01:13:55,130 --> 01:13:56,222
What a lovely shirt.

1337
01:13:56,298 --> 01:13:57,311
So energetic.

1338
01:13:57,566 --> 01:13:58,562
Thanks !

1339
01:13:58,667 --> 01:14:00,032
It was half off.

1340
01:14:00,102 --> 01:14:01,501
A s hrewd purchase.

1341
01:14:06,942 --> 01:14:11,140
So do I get to listen or do I have to come up with

1342
01:14:11,213 --> 01:14:13,321
s ome ex cuse to give you guys privacy?

1343
01:14:13,449 --> 01:14:15,660
''I've got a hot date''has always worked for me.

1344
01:14:15,884 --> 01:14:16,545
F i ne.

1345
01:14:16,919 --> 01:14:18,490
It was a p leasure warm i ng y our water.

1346
01:14:21,924 --> 01:14:23,594
So what happens with y our lo ve story?

1347
01:14:24,259 --> 01:14:27,592
I n real ity, they never declared their love

1348
01:14:31,033 --> 01:14:32,557
One of them was to o afraid .

1349
01:14:35,237 --> 01:14:38,934
He wou ld always pu l l away at the last moment.

1350
01:14:41,143 --> 01:14:43,634
He had a lot of free time and spent most of it

1351
01:14:43,712 --> 01:14:49,708
rep laying how his life would have been had he seized a moment,

1352
01:14:50,826 --> 01:14:52,663
any one of a thousand,

1353
01:14:54,120 --> 01:14:55,915
to take his friend's hand .

1354
01:14:58,494 --> 01:15:00,270
Sou nds l ike they were both afraid .

1355
01:15:01,029 --> 01:15:04,123
They went fifty years, a l ifetime.

1356
01:15:09,047 --> 01:15:10,763
And bei ng afraid became hab it.

1357
01:15:12,574 --> 01:15:13,972
D id he ever figure out what he was afraid of?

1358
01:15:14,476 --> 01:15:15,781
O h, he k new al l alo ng .

1359
01:15:16,411 --> 01:15:17,613
What was that?

1360
01:15:17,746 --> 01:15:19,270
That he m ig ht have to change.

1361
01:15:21,783 --> 01:15:24,843
He was afraid of los i ng the l ife he might not

1362
01:15:24,920 --> 01:15:28,642
be afforded if it were known he was a man who loved men .

1363
01:15:29,124 --> 01:15:30,853
H is travels, stud ies .

1364
01:15:31,056 --> 01:15:32,576
H is trust fu nd .

1365
01:15:33,328 --> 01:15:34,845
At least he l ived as he p leased .

1366
01:15:35,163 --> 01:15:36,642
N o . He changed anyway.

1367
01:15:38,634 --> 01:15:39,931
He's a recluse now.

1368
01:15:40,002 --> 01:15:45,269
He's lost it all and people talk about him no netheless .

1369
01:15:48,243 --> 01:15:49,710
That's a fucked up story.

1370
01:15:50,112 --> 01:15:51,307
H ow is that supposed to help me?

1371
01:15:51,480 --> 01:15:53,570
I was n't aware y ou were i n need of help .

1372
01:15:53,916 --> 01:15:55,907
Wel l how is that supposed to help X?

1373
01:15:55,984 --> 01:15:57,178
I'm mo v i ng out anyway.

1374
01:15:57,452 --> 01:15:59,784
Perhaps it was naive to think I could help someone

1375
01:15:59,855 --> 01:16:01,880
who s i ncerely cared for me.

1376
01:16:04,059 --> 01:16:05,390
You paid h im .

1377
01:16:05,460 --> 01:16:07,318
I paid h im for h is time.

1378
01:16:07,999 --> 01:16:10,176
The sincerity was h is g ift.

1379
01:16:12,167 --> 01:16:15,728
So why don't you just tel l that guy that you love him now?

1380
01:16:16,939 --> 01:16:18,196
Sou nds eas y, does n't it.

1381
01:16:25,314 --> 01:16:26,246
Yeah .

1382
01:16:38,293 --> 01:16:39,639
You're a pretty decent guy.

1383
01:16:40,095 --> 01:16:43,151
For a closeted queer who would hire a hustler.

1384
01:16:46,535 --> 01:16:47,793
F or anybody.

1385
01:17:17,599 --> 01:17:18,930
Hey, do n't I k now y ou?

1386
01:17:19,001 --> 01:17:19,945
From s cho o l?

1387
01:17:23,180 --> 01:17:24,662
O h my God

1388
01:17:25,677 --> 01:17:26,777
B lo nd ie!

1389
01:17:27,743 --> 01:17:28,607
H u h?

1390
01:17:31,524 --> 01:17:33,403
You wore a B lo nd ie T-s h irt.

1391
01:17:44,893 --> 01:17:45,791
It's okay.

1392
01:17:48,897 --> 01:17:49,921
I'm s orry.

1393
01:17:50,432 --> 01:17:51,558
I'm a freak.

1394
01:17:52,501 --> 01:17:53,525
A cute freak.

1395
01:17:57,706 --> 01:17:58,638
Thanks .

1396
01:18:00,175 --> 01:18:01,267
B o yfriend troub le?

1397
01:18:03,779 --> 01:18:05,144
Someth i ng l ike that.

1398
01:18:07,616 --> 01:18:08,844
If it makes y ou feel any better, I just

1399
01:18:08,917 --> 01:18:12,011
broke up with this guy. I really liked him .

1400
01:18:13,889 --> 01:18:15,151
What happened?

1401
01:18:15,223 --> 01:18:18,454
I knew he wanted to break up but he didn't have the balls to .

1402
01:18:18,527 --> 01:18:23,264
So he treated me l ike shit, slept around .

1403
01:18:25,767 --> 01:18:27,997
Ig nored me until I was forced to dump him

1404
01:18:28,070 --> 01:18:29,016
at h is own work.

1405
01:18:32,207 --> 01:18:34,334
Th is whole thing is going to turn me straight

1406
01:18:34,409 --> 01:18:36,240
Two wro ngs do n't make a rig ht.

1407
01:18:40,148 --> 01:18:43,584
I publicly dump this guy that doesn't even like me in B and O.

1408
01:18:44,779 --> 01:18:46,250
I'm heart-broken and the ass ho le.

1409
01:18:47,233 --> 01:18:48,361
Sco oter?

1410
01:18:48,657 --> 01:18:49,808
You k now him?

1411
01:18:50,623 --> 01:18:53,873
No, but I think I have a story that'll make you feel better.

1412
01:18:54,396 --> 01:18:55,385
Okay.

1413
01:18:56,765 --> 01:18:58,892
l know it's sentimen tal fluff but it really

1414
01:18:58,967 --> 01:19:00,459
happened that way.

1415
01:19:00,635 --> 01:19:03,401
And it's too important to alter or make edgier.

1416
01:19:03,705 --> 01:19:06,071
Heari ng that Joey had passed h is behavior on

1417
01:19:06,141 --> 01:19:08,609
to Scooter like avenereal disease made me wonder what

1418
01:19:08,677 --> 01:19:11,771
had l just given to Andrew and where would that end?

1419
01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:15,072
So I guess the old guy could n't change your mind .

1420
01:19:18,186 --> 01:19:19,983
It's not my m i nd that needs to be changed .

1421
01:19:20,055 --> 01:19:21,420
So what if y ou guys aren't boyfriends,

1422
01:19:21,490 --> 01:19:23,050
it does n't mean y ou have to mo ve out.

1423
01:19:23,391 --> 01:19:24,358
You do n't u nderstand .

1424
01:19:24,426 --> 01:19:25,895
I total ly u nderstand .

1425
01:19:26,061 --> 01:19:26,993
If it's worth anyth i ng,

1426
01:19:27,062 --> 01:19:28,430
I d id n't go out wh i le you were go ne.

1427
01:19:28,830 --> 01:19:30,889
N ow what am I supposed to do? H u h?

1428
01:19:32,234 --> 01:19:34,113
Some ro le model .

1429
01:19:34,236 --> 01:19:35,828
You do n't need a ro le model .

1430
01:19:37,139 --> 01:19:38,936
You need a go od friend .

1431
01:19:39,893 --> 01:19:40,838
You have X.

1432
01:19:44,012 --> 01:19:45,741
X sucks without y ou .

1433
01:19:49,217 --> 01:19:51,151
Joey had passed o v er Scooter.

1434
01:19:51,219 --> 01:19:53,056
Scooter had passed o v er Blondie.

1435
01:19:53,355 --> 01:19:55,269
A triangle of back-up plans.

1436
01:19:55,557 --> 01:19:57,716
All three were nice, deserv i ng guys.

1437
01:19:57,826 --> 01:19:59,435
What the fuck were they waiti ng for?

1438
01:20:00,095 --> 01:20:01,570
What am l waiti ng for?

1439
01:20:03,198 --> 01:20:06,964
Wait, l need to plan th is out.

1440
01:20:15,377 --> 01:20:16,605
What are y ou doing down here?

1441
01:20:17,045 --> 01:20:19,104
ln that single moment, my defenses told me to say

1442
01:20:19,441 --> 01:20:21,000
''None of y our busi ness. ''

1443
01:20:21,049 --> 01:20:22,239
End th is once and for all.

1444
01:20:22,317 --> 01:20:24,080
Retreat and lick my wounds in private.

1445
01:20:24,152 --> 01:20:25,176
Let h im mo v e out.

1446
01:20:25,253 --> 01:20:26,400
Screw these questions.

1447
01:20:26,555 --> 01:20:28,750
Maybe date Joey, my back-up plan.

1448
01:20:28,824 --> 01:20:30,416
But l took a chance and said

1449
01:20:30,492 --> 01:20:31,584
Waiti ng for y ou .

1450
01:20:33,762 --> 01:20:34,922
That's when he took me.

1451
01:20:38,166 --> 01:20:39,155
Almost.

1452
01:20:41,770 --> 01:20:46,628
I've been thinking about it and I want to be with you .

1453
01:20:47,676 --> 01:20:51,669
But I want to pay you .

1454
01:20:51,746 --> 01:20:53,995
You can't afford me.

1455
01:20:54,883 --> 01:20:58,785
Wh ich is why I demand a reduced rate, seeing how

1456
01:20:58,854 --> 01:21:02,756
I'd be your lover with extra responsibilities and all

1457
01:21:08,063 --> 01:21:09,894
A t that instant l decided it didn't matter

1458
01:21:09,965 --> 01:21:11,611
what we did outside this moment.

1459
01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:13,062
As long as we could have moments like this,

1460
01:21:13,134 --> 01:21:14,511
it was worth hangi ng on.

1461
01:21:14,636 --> 01:21:16,604
My hustling, his open door policy.

1462
01:21:16,671 --> 01:21:18,104
They mean t noth i ng i n th is moment

1463
01:21:24,813 --> 01:21:27,111
If th is felt so right we should go for it

1464
01:21:27,182 --> 01:21:28,912
and see where the pieces fell

1465
01:21:29,618 --> 01:21:31,805
What happens when you meet Mr.Right too soon?

1466
01:21:32,520 --> 01:21:34,072
You grab h im .

1467
01:21:34,256 --> 01:21:36,190
There's no such thing as too soon

1468
01:21:42,030 --> 01:21:43,187
Note the new furniture.

1469
01:21:43,398 --> 01:21:45,044
That means th is is some time later.

1470
01:21:45,433 --> 01:21:47,731
Andrew still makes my knees knock and my heart thud,

1471
01:21:47,802 --> 01:21:50,160
even when he brings up the old arguments about hustling

1472
01:21:50,672 --> 01:21:52,206
Ev en tually l'll stop.

1473
01:21:52,474 --> 01:21:53,964
l'v e got a sizeab le nest egg, and the stocks

1474
01:21:54,042 --> 01:21:56,282
l told Andrew's dad about were no bu llsh it.

1475
01:21:56,411 --> 01:21:59,201
Andrew isn 't playing around so much anymore either.

1476
01:21:59,347 --> 01:22:02,441
Funny, at this point l don 't really care.

1477
01:22:02,517 --> 01:22:04,112
l know where h is heart lies.

1478
01:22:04,586 --> 01:22:07,180
Gregory is now my friend and no longer a disciple.

1479
01:22:07,255 --> 01:22:09,086
He's disco v ered chat rooms.

1480
01:22:09,520 --> 01:22:11,557
He still hasn't confessed h is love to Renaldo,

1481
01:22:11,868 --> 01:22:13,992
but Joey's hatched a scheme to hook'em up

1482
01:22:14,202 --> 01:22:16,635
i n troducing Renaldo to the internet as well.

1483
01:22:18,800 --> 01:22:21,166
l finally lured Joey i n to attending U-Dub.

1484
01:22:21,236 --> 01:22:23,101
l took him to one of their queer functions and when

1485
01:22:23,171 --> 01:22:25,874
he saw the influx of freshmeat he was hooked.

1486
01:22:30,378 --> 01:22:32,608
l fou nd a new turn on too.

1487
01:22:32,681 --> 01:22:34,308
Writi ng these confessions.

1488
01:22:34,382 --> 01:22:37,180
Selling them to magazines for folks like you.

1489
01:22:37,252 --> 01:22:39,758
Once a whore, always a whore.

1490
01:22:40,769 --> 01:22:44,489
Alex, is X here?

1491
01:22:47,429 --> 01:22:49,397
You request the services of X?

1492
01:23:01,710 --> 01:23:02,972
Call me X

1493
01:23:09,484 --> 01:23:10,917
Pleasure doing business with you .

1494
01:23:16,858 --> 01:23:17,816
Oh, fuck off.

1495
01:23:18,259 --> 01:23:19,285
lt turns me on.

1496
01:23:19,494 --> 01:23:20,791
lf you were ever in love, you and yours

1497
01:23:20,862 --> 01:23:22,921
had some corny romantic thing too.

1498
01:23:30,138 --> 01:23:31,625
So, that's my confession.

1499
01:23:31,973 --> 01:23:35,431
Forgive me Father l'm guilty of the deadliest sin.

1500
01:23:35,510 --> 01:23:37,156
l'm human.

1501
01:23:37,579 --> 01:23:40,173
How many Hail Marys is that?