1
00:01:02,344 --> 00:01:05,640
From time to time, a society
secret, in New Zealand,

2
00:01:05,641 --> 00:01:09,651
gathers for a special event:
THE MASKED PROFANE

3
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:15,652
In the months leading up to this ball,
a team of documentary filmmakers

4
00:01:15,653 --> 00:01:18,660
had full access to a small
group of that society.

5
00:01:38,021 --> 00:01:40,742
Each team member
wore a crucifix

6
00:01:40,743 --> 00:01:44,192
and had guaranteed protection
by the film's protagonists.

7
00:02:05,522 --> 00:02:07,565
Viago
379 years old

8
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,402
So, it's 6pm...

9
00:02:10,602 --> 00:02:12,114
That's when I wake up.

10
00:02:12,314 --> 00:02:15,447
That's always a thing
scary for me.

11
00:02:20,652 --> 00:02:22,984
Yes! It's night.

12
00:02:23,535 --> 00:02:27,058
So now I'm going to wake up my
flatmates.

13
00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:31,453
I love this story
of sharing housing.

14
00:02:31,653 --> 00:02:32,474
Wake up!

15
00:02:32,884 --> 00:02:34,976
Wake up, everyone!

16
00:02:35,357 --> 00:02:37,779
I like going out with
other vampires.

17
00:02:38,099 --> 00:02:39,831
I like the company.

18
00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:42,384
Wake up!

19
00:02:42,584 --> 00:02:44,886
Wake up, wake up!

20
00:02:45,577 --> 00:02:48,890
I just like to have good ones
moments with my friends.

21
00:02:49,090 --> 00:02:50,221
Dean...

22
00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:51,553
Hello!

23
00:02:51,593 --> 00:02:52,294
Hey!

24
00:02:52,494 --> 00:02:54,496
Dean...

25
00:02:55,527 --> 00:02:57,189
How was your night last night?

26
00:02:58,009 --> 00:03:00,752
I turned into a
dog and had sex.

27
00:03:00,922 --> 00:03:02,093
Legal!

28
00:03:02,284 --> 00:03:04,224
We're gonna have a little 'meeting'
apartment", in the kitchen,

29
00:03:04,349 --> 00:03:06,685
in about 15 minutes, ok?

30
00:03:07,189 --> 00:03:08,730
- Okay.
- Okay.

31
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:10,992
- Should I close this?
- Yes.

32
00:03:12,114 --> 00:03:13,565
Vladislav?!

33
00:03:15,607 --> 00:03:17,779
Sorry! Sorry!

34
00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:22,554
What?

35
00:03:22,904 --> 00:03:24,826
- Hey!
- What time is it?

36
00:03:25,437 --> 00:03:28,530
We're going to have a "meeting of
apartment" in about 10 minutes.

37
00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:29,401
20.

38
00:03:29,551 --> 00:03:30,782
Okay, is there anything...

39
00:03:45,237 --> 00:03:46,588
So, we are...

40
00:03:46,708 --> 00:03:48,300
in Petyr's room.

41
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,422
I'll just wake him up.

42
00:04:08,510 --> 00:04:09,821
Petyr?

43
00:04:10,842 --> 00:04:12,454
Petyr?!

44
00:04:15,657 --> 00:04:17,329
Petyr, wake up!

45
00:04:19,591 --> 00:04:20,633
Hey, listen!

46
00:04:20,759 --> 00:04:24,137
We're going to have an "apartment meeting",
up there, in about 10 minutes.

47
00:04:24,262 --> 00:04:25,555
You don't need to go,

48
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:29,392
but I thought about extending
the invitation, if you want.

49
00:04:30,769 --> 00:04:34,522
There are a lot of things on the floor,
down here, Petyr, and...

50
00:04:34,647 --> 00:04:36,399
Like this -- It looks like a...

51
00:04:36,524 --> 00:04:39,736
I don't -- Aah!
It's a spine, yuck!

52
00:04:39,881 --> 00:04:41,693
And I was thinking that maybe

53
00:04:41,873 --> 00:04:44,196
I should bring a broom
down here if you want

54
00:04:44,396 --> 00:04:47,589
sweep up some of the skeletons.

55
00:04:47,909 --> 00:04:48,880
I don't know.

56
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:49,921
You know, maybe...

57
00:04:51,042 --> 00:04:52,093
Okay.

58
00:04:54,055 --> 00:04:56,087
I brought you this chicken.

59
00:05:00,112 --> 00:05:01,393
Is Petyr coming?

60
00:05:01,508 --> 00:05:04,302
- Should we wait?
- Petyr is 8,000 years old.

61
00:05:04,427 --> 00:05:06,596
We will not count on
Petyr at the meeting

62
00:05:06,721 --> 00:05:09,265
Okay, so... I wish I had
a little conversation

63
00:05:09,391 --> 00:05:13,269
about the responsibilities of the
apartment, because, guys,

64
00:05:13,395 --> 00:05:16,022
I don't think we are
We're all trying hard here.

65
00:05:16,147 --> 00:05:19,109
We're not just pointing
finger to you, Deacon.

66
00:05:19,234 --> 00:05:21,319
You're a nice guy, but you
not trying hard

67
00:05:21,444 --> 00:05:22,445
through the apartment.

68
00:05:22,570 --> 00:05:25,824
Well I'm happy to
hear that I'm cool.

69
00:05:26,128 --> 00:05:28,780
- No, but that's not the point.
- Yes, no, I know!

70
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,692
It's not a meeting about
how cool you are.

71
00:05:30,892 --> 00:05:32,674
- I do my household chores!
- No, you don't comply!

72
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,076
- Yes, I comply!
- No, that's why we're having this meeting!

73
00:05:35,276 --> 00:05:38,860
The point is, Deacon, that you don't
has been washing dishes for 5 years.

74
00:05:39,060 --> 00:05:39,821
Vladislav is right.

75
00:05:40,021 --> 00:05:44,516
It is unacceptable that we have so many
dishes that are covered in blood.

76
00:05:44,716 --> 00:05:46,928
I'm so embarrassed
when people come here.

77
00:05:46,938 --> 00:05:47,509
Why does this matter?!

78
00:05:47,709 --> 00:05:49,211
You bring them here to kill them!

79
00:05:49,701 --> 00:05:51,603
Vampires don't wash dishes.

80
00:05:51,803 --> 00:05:55,447
Deacon is like a young man
rebel vampire.

81
00:05:55,557 --> 00:05:59,521
He's always doing crazy things,
saying crazy things.

82
00:05:59,621 --> 00:06:02,954
He's like a young man
"bad boy" of the group.

83
00:06:03,365 --> 00:06:05,096
Okay, so...

84
00:06:05,042 --> 00:06:07,918
{\a6} Deacon
183 years old

85
00:06:06,047 --> 00:06:07,549
one day I was

86
00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:10,412
selling my wares,

87
00:06:10,722 --> 00:06:13,335
walking near this
old scary castle

88
00:06:13,425 --> 00:06:15,317
And I looked at him and thought:

89
00:06:16,408 --> 00:06:18,160
"very old and scary".

90
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,112
And there is this creature...

91
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:21,523
fly to me!

92
00:06:21,823 --> 00:06:25,217
He dragged me to
this dark dungeon

93
00:06:25,487 --> 00:06:27,379
and bit my neck.

94
00:06:27,899 --> 00:06:30,182
And right at the hour of death,

95
00:06:30,312 --> 00:06:31,503
this creature

96
00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:34,746
forced me to suck
your toxic blood.

97
00:06:35,056 --> 00:06:36,188
And then,

98
00:06:36,318 --> 00:06:38,700
he spread his wings, like this,

99
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,012
and hovered over me,

100
00:06:41,113 --> 00:06:42,544
screaming

101
00:06:44,486 --> 00:06:47,429
"You're a vampire now!"

102
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,991
And this was Petyr.

103
00:06:52,154 --> 00:06:54,015
And we still are
friends to this day.

104
00:06:54,496 --> 00:06:57,799
Vlad, you were incredible. You
threw away recyclable waste,

105
00:06:57,879 --> 00:06:59,331
which was pretty cool.

106
00:07:00,112 --> 00:07:03,765
And the other day, I dragged the body
of a man in the hallway,

107
00:07:03,845 --> 00:07:06,528
and I noticed that there was no dust.

108
00:07:07,829 --> 00:07:10,762
Like, I kind of...
I swept the hallway.

109
00:07:10,792 --> 00:07:12,584
Vladislav, it's kind of like

110
00:07:12,594 --> 00:07:14,476
that older vampire

111
00:07:14,676 --> 00:07:16,558
grew up in medieval times.

112
00:07:16,678 --> 00:07:19,621
And you know, having lived
all this time

113
00:07:19,821 --> 00:07:22,093
and have seen things
that he saw

114
00:07:22,884 --> 00:07:25,287
and still like, so centered...

115
00:07:26,218 --> 00:07:27,659
I mean, I shoot
the hat to him.

116
00:07:27,749 --> 00:07:29,571
Damn!

117
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,043
Sorry!

118
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:33,245
He's a really nice guy.

119
00:07:33,445 --> 00:07:35,047
A little perverted.

120
00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:38,780
He has some very good ideas
old-fashioned things.

121
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:41,012
We should get some slaves!

122
00:07:41,483 --> 00:07:44,696
When I became a vampire

123
00:07:44,886 --> 00:07:46,608
I was quite tyrannical.

124
00:07:47,626 --> 00:07:50,160
{\a6}Vladislav
862 years old

125
00:07:46,808 --> 00:07:50,962
I was known to torture
a lot of people.

126
00:07:54,055 --> 00:07:56,348
This is my torture chamber.

127
00:07:57,139 --> 00:08:00,021
I don't come here anymore
so often.

128
00:08:00,372 --> 00:08:04,116
I had a tendency to torture
when I was feeling sad.

129
00:08:04,216 --> 00:08:07,499
What I did was
poke people

130
00:08:07,699 --> 00:08:09,331
with paraphernalia.

131
00:08:09,381 --> 00:08:12,364
I was known as
"Vladislav the Poker'.

132
00:08:14,256 --> 00:08:16,378
It's been like this all along.

133
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:19,161
Okay, so...
Viago is a little...

134
00:08:19,551 --> 00:08:20,582
pedantic.

135
00:08:20,592 --> 00:08:22,644
The washing and the trash, I did that.

136
00:08:22,844 --> 00:08:26,818
Deacon, the dishes were not
washed in 5 years.

137
00:08:26,828 --> 00:08:29,426
He was a fop
from the 18th century,

138
00:08:29,626 --> 00:08:32,224
So, it can be
very temperamental.

139
00:08:32,254 --> 00:08:33,805
He complains and complains.

140
00:08:33,835 --> 00:08:39,431
In the room the other day there was blood
all over my beautiful old sofa.

141
00:08:39,481 --> 00:08:41,233
Which one?
The red one?

142
00:08:41,353 --> 00:08:43,105
Well, it's red now, yes!

143
00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:45,997
If you're going to eat a victim
on my nice, clean sofa,

144
00:08:45,998 --> 00:08:48,568
put some newspaper on the floor
and some towels.

145
00:08:48,693 --> 00:08:49,986
It's not difficult to do.

146
00:08:50,031 --> 00:08:53,735
We are vampires!
We don't put towels on the floor.

147
00:08:53,935 --> 00:08:55,537
Some vampires do.

148
00:08:55,737 --> 00:08:57,819
Well, not the serious ones.

149
00:08:57,879 --> 00:09:01,022
When you put 4 vampires
in an apartment

150
00:09:01,133 --> 00:09:03,325
Obviously, there will be a lot of tension.

151
00:09:03,525 --> 00:09:07,078
There is tension in any kind of
situation involving coexistence.

152
00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:09,297
It's agreed then. All of us
let's fulfill our tasks,

153
00:09:09,422 --> 00:09:11,716
starting with a
right Deacon...

154
00:09:12,013 --> 00:09:14,776
- I'm going to wash my dishes!
- Well, then wash!

155
00:09:34,556 --> 00:09:36,178
This is bullshit.

156
00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:44,551
Caption: dannyfields (from the Brazilian Internet)

157
00:10:14,676 --> 00:10:18,500
Well I became a vampire
when I was 16 years old.

158
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,483
That's why I seem
always be 16.

159
00:10:22,003 --> 00:10:26,128
In those days, of course, life was
difficult for a 16 year old.

160
00:10:36,698 --> 00:10:39,361
Vampires have a
bad reputation

161
00:10:39,691 --> 00:10:44,045
We are not these old creatures,
depressed, who live in castles.

162
00:10:44,236 --> 00:10:47,289
Well, some of us... Most
from us it is. Many are, but...

163
00:10:47,299 --> 00:10:50,542
There are also those of us who
like to share an apartment

164
00:10:50,552 --> 00:10:52,514
in small countries,
like New Zealand.

165
00:11:02,774 --> 00:11:05,487
I was a Nazi vampire.

166
00:11:08,174 --> 00:11:10,280
<i>...and with my secret Vampire Army...</i>

167
00:11:10,574 --> 00:11:12,647
<i>...we are going to conquer the world!</i>

168
00:11:13,074 --> 00:11:15,076
After the war,
that the Nazis lost...

169
00:11:15,817 --> 00:11:18,740
I don't know if you know
that the Nazis lost...

170
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:19,841
that war.

171
00:11:20,001 --> 00:11:22,063
What if you were a Nazi
after the war...

172
00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:25,307
What if you were a vampire...

173
00:11:27,209 --> 00:11:30,532
And if you were
a Nazi vampire...

174
00:11:30,822 --> 00:11:32,264
No chance.

175
00:11:32,374 --> 00:11:33,885
I got out of there.

176
00:12:09,519 --> 00:12:12,699
What We Do in the Shadows

177
00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:21,153
Yes, I came for this
country for love.

178
00:12:21,763 --> 00:12:24,626
There was a girl.
Human girl.

179
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,168
And...

180
00:12:26,218 --> 00:12:27,309
me

181
00:12:27,349 --> 00:12:29,751
I thought she was fantastic.
She was...

182
00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:31,262
absolutely incredible.

183
00:12:31,462 --> 00:12:32,944
I was in love!

184
00:12:33,105 --> 00:12:36,768
Her family emigrated
to New Zealand.

185
00:12:36,978 --> 00:12:38,840
And I thought:

186
00:12:38,950 --> 00:12:40,562
"You know what?", to hell with it

187
00:12:40,592 --> 00:12:44,095
I will! I'm going after her
and say how I feel. "

188
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:46,113
I said to my servant Phillip,

189
00:12:46,313 --> 00:12:48,260
"Send me to New Zealand."

190
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,090
He...

191
00:12:49,211 --> 00:12:51,633
The post of my coffin was wrong.

192
00:12:51,833 --> 00:12:55,086
So the whole trip took
about 18 months.

193
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,990
And when I got here, she had

194
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,173
found someone else.

195
00:13:02,484 --> 00:13:04,546
She had fallen in love.

196
00:13:05,297 --> 00:13:06,618
And...

197
00:13:06,908 --> 00:13:08,680
she was married.

198
00:13:19,681 --> 00:13:21,993
She gave this to me before she left.

199
00:13:24,015 --> 00:13:25,437
Here she is.

200
00:13:26,628 --> 00:13:29,511
This is me, I put myself
in there too.

201
00:13:31,313 --> 00:13:33,605
She told me this is pure silver.

202
00:13:34,756 --> 00:13:35,927
Unfortunately,

203
00:13:36,077 --> 00:13:38,640
we vampires cannot wear silver.

204
00:13:59,951 --> 00:14:01,223
It's...

205
00:14:02,704 --> 00:14:05,427
That's how much time
that I can use it.

206
00:14:31,393 --> 00:14:34,506
Tonight we're going out,
to the center of Wellington.

207
00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:36,528
It is important that we have
a good appearance.

208
00:14:36,588 --> 00:14:37,769
Yes, that's very good.
Yes. Did you like it?

209
00:14:37,969 --> 00:14:43,074
One of the unfortunate things about
not having a reflection is that you

210
00:14:43,135 --> 00:14:45,407
You don't know exactly how you are.

211
00:14:47,249 --> 00:14:48,230
Look!

212
00:14:48,310 --> 00:14:50,342
A ghost cup!

213
00:14:50,702 --> 00:14:53,325
Floating by itself!

214
00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:56,027
We can give advice
each other

215
00:14:56,057 --> 00:14:58,780
and help each other,
until we're great.

216
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,313
Yes, some of our
clothes belong to the victims.

217
00:15:01,393 --> 00:15:03,415
You can bite someone and then

218
00:15:03,675 --> 00:15:06,228
you think:
'Oh, those pants are really cool!"

219
00:15:06,308 --> 00:15:07,529
- Should I use this one?
- No!

220
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:08,270
Swap!

221
00:15:08,350 --> 00:15:11,233
When you're a vampire,
you become very sexy

222
00:15:14,806 --> 00:15:18,089
We are trying to attract
victims for us.

223
00:15:18,289 --> 00:15:19,611
I'm not sure about the vest.

224
00:15:19,621 --> 00:15:23,014
I'm going with a costume that I call
"Dead But Delicious".

225
00:15:23,285 --> 00:15:24,917
We are the bait.

226
00:15:25,117 --> 00:15:27,119
But we are too
the trap.

227
00:15:27,229 --> 00:15:28,960
Hello, ladies.

228
00:15:50,632 --> 00:15:54,136
And voila, we are ready to
go to town and party!

229
00:15:54,336 --> 00:15:56,138
- Vampire style.
- Vampire style.

230
00:16:05,487 --> 00:16:08,710
When we go to town,
we have to try to blend in.

231
00:16:08,711 --> 00:16:09,800
Just walking the streets.

232
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:12,011
Coming to the city is
very cool

233
00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:14,638
because just for one
brief moment, I feel...

234
00:16:14,764 --> 00:16:16,766
Deer!

235
00:16:23,094 --> 00:16:25,887
The problem with being a
vampire is that you

236
00:16:26,087 --> 00:16:28,210
You have to be invited in.

237
00:16:28,230 --> 00:16:30,912
We would like to enter
at the bar, please!

238
00:16:31,112 --> 00:16:32,914
Invite us to the bar.
Please!

239
00:16:33,114 --> 00:16:34,716
5 dollars and you can enter.

240
00:16:34,916 --> 00:16:36,648
Could you invite us in?
Could you just...

241
00:16:36,848 --> 00:16:38,940
If humans discovered
what we are,

242
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:41,263
they would destroy us.

243
00:16:41,563 --> 00:16:45,737
There are between 60 and 70 vampires
in the Wellington region.

244
00:16:45,937 --> 00:16:47,629
- Vampire obviously.
- Julie!

245
00:16:47,829 --> 00:16:48,310
Hello!

246
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,651
How embarrassing.

247
00:16:49,851 --> 00:16:52,674
He's a guy I used to be with
work when I was human.

248
00:16:53,425 --> 00:16:55,046
- True? Did he leave?
- Yes, he's gone.

249
00:16:55,246 --> 00:16:56,868
I've been draining him
throughout the night.

250
00:16:57,068 --> 00:16:58,670
I've been a thirsty girl.

251
00:16:58,870 --> 00:17:00,907
If you are bitten
when I was a child,

252
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:03,145
you will always seem
of the same age.

253
00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:04,476
What are you doing today?

254
00:17:04,676 --> 00:17:05,607
Going to kill some perverts?

255
00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:07,969
- Yes, we are looking for some pedophile.
- Cool.

256
00:17:08,169 --> 00:17:09,411
Okay, let's go to Big Kumara.

257
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,333
- Have a good night, guys!
- Yes, you too!

258
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,823
Big Kumara is owned
and operated by vampires

259
00:17:13,948 --> 00:17:15,658
so we can always come in.

260
00:17:16,217 --> 00:17:19,651
It's the hottest spot of the night
for the vampires in Wellington.

261
00:17:19,721 --> 00:17:22,444
- Come in, boys, come in.
- Thanks.

262
00:17:31,103 --> 00:17:33,665
Maybe you can bring
some people home.

263
00:17:33,735 --> 00:17:36,047
- Of course.
- Maybe some virgins.

264
00:17:36,118 --> 00:17:37,529
Virgins? Yes, okay.

265
00:17:37,569 --> 00:17:40,352
Some kind of preference
in terms of gender or...

266
00:17:40,552 --> 00:17:41,823
Maybe some women?

267
00:17:42,023 --> 00:17:43,044
Yes, women.

268
00:17:43,445 --> 00:17:45,006
Maybe a guy.

269
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,508
One of each?

270
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:48,009
One of each would be nice.

271
00:17:48,089 --> 00:17:50,902
My relationship with Deacon is...

272
00:17:51,243 --> 00:17:53,345
Well, I'm your familiar.
He is my master.

273
00:17:53,815 --> 00:17:56,818
He tells me what to do, I do it.

274
00:17:58,701 --> 00:18:00,578
We have that kind of
master-servant relationship

275
00:18:00,703 --> 00:18:02,621
which, in fact,
works very well.

276
00:18:02,914 --> 00:18:03,505
- Hello!
- Hello.

277
00:18:03,585 --> 00:18:04,576
Oh, it's a little blood.

278
00:18:04,776 --> 00:18:07,609
Um, my husband, he's...
he is hemophiliac.

279
00:18:07,929 --> 00:18:09,731
You know, someone
that bleeds a lot.

280
00:18:09,931 --> 00:18:10,302
Yes.

281
00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:12,114
Any type of age group?

282
00:18:12,184 --> 00:18:14,766
- Young!
- But without, without children?

283
00:18:14,816 --> 00:18:16,077
- No children.
- Okay!

284
00:18:16,298 --> 00:18:17,759
From 18 to 30?

285
00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:20,312
Definitely more
younger than you.

286
00:18:20,512 --> 00:18:22,314
Okay, from 18 to 30 then.

287
00:18:22,374 --> 00:18:23,455
So, is it a dinner party?

288
00:18:23,495 --> 00:18:24,396
- I'll be there!
- Yes!

289
00:18:24,596 --> 00:18:25,957
- Party with dinner.
- The guys will be there.

290
00:18:25,967 --> 00:18:26,228
Yes.

291
00:18:26,428 --> 00:18:27,709
- We'll all be there.
- Yes, let's dress elegantly.

292
00:18:27,909 --> 00:18:30,332
- Okay, great.
- And then eat them.

293
00:18:30,732 --> 00:18:32,634
- Okay, great.
- It should be fun.

294
00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:34,806
I was just wondering
If we could talk about...

295
00:18:35,006 --> 00:18:37,269
You wouldn't know of a
Dentist available at night?

296
00:18:37,339 --> 00:18:38,950
Because I have this thing here.

297
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,903
I was wondering if
We could talk about the... deal.

298
00:18:41,983 --> 00:18:43,235
- Hmm?
- The deal.

299
00:18:43,675 --> 00:18:46,528
- The dishes?
- No, no, the...

300
00:18:46,928 --> 00:18:51,153
The deal is that he will
give me eternal life.

301
00:18:51,353 --> 00:18:53,215
What is...

302
00:18:54,286 --> 00:18:55,727
very exciting!

303
00:18:55,787 --> 00:18:57,619
Well I feel like I have
reached my full potential.

304
00:18:57,819 --> 00:19:00,202
I wouldn't want to be kinda
getting older, before...

305
00:19:00,282 --> 00:19:02,784
I just feel like I'm the best
version, of myself, that I could be.

306
00:19:02,834 --> 00:19:04,826
It's just that they've already passed
4 and a half years and I just...

307
00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:06,310
I take care of yours
houseplants,

308
00:19:06,435 --> 00:19:08,854
I do your dry cleaning.
Now I'm washing your dishes.

309
00:19:08,979 --> 00:19:11,273
- And the dentist?
- And the dentist.

310
00:19:11,398 --> 00:19:12,650
And it's taking a while
too long.

311
00:19:12,775 --> 00:19:14,235
- So, I was thinking --
- Go away!

312
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,778
Okay.

313
00:19:16,278 --> 00:19:18,240
- See you later!
- Okay.

314
00:19:28,670 --> 00:19:33,054
One of the most unfortunate things
about being a vampire is that

315
00:19:34,116 --> 00:19:36,308
you have to drink
human blood.

316
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,700
I like to do
a great night.

317
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,113
Play some music.

318
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,905
Maybe offer them
some good wine.

319
00:19:43,906 --> 00:19:45,349
It's your last moment alive,

320
00:19:45,474 --> 00:19:47,726
so why not make it
a pleasant experience?

321
00:19:49,901 --> 00:19:51,493
So...

322
00:19:51,693 --> 00:19:53,675
Tell me what you do,
What do you...

323
00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:55,457
I was thinking about going back
to university, actually.

324
00:19:55,657 --> 00:19:56,988
Oh, are you?
Let's put that down there.

325
00:19:57,188 --> 00:19:58,180
There.

326
00:20:00,122 --> 00:20:02,204
University, huh?

327
00:20:02,394 --> 00:20:04,946
Yes, but after that
I'm going to travel.

328
00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:05,917
It's...

329
00:20:06,118 --> 00:20:08,920
I've wanted to travel for years
to the outside, then...

330
00:20:09,121 --> 00:20:11,633
I'm saving for
go to Spain,

331
00:20:11,833 --> 00:20:13,975
and Italy, and London and...

332
00:20:14,216 --> 00:20:15,237
Yes.

333
00:20:17,469 --> 00:20:19,511
Okay. Excuse me.

334
00:20:19,711 --> 00:20:21,713
I'm just going to fix it here.

335
00:20:26,848 --> 00:20:28,660
Here we go.

336
00:20:34,982 --> 00:20:36,525
Shit!

337
00:20:36,918 --> 00:20:37,949
Shit!

338
00:20:45,497 --> 00:20:47,849
Well, that didn't turn out so well.

339
00:20:48,049 --> 00:20:51,113
I reached the
main artery.

340
00:20:52,124 --> 00:20:55,597
So, yes, there is a
real mess inside...

341
00:20:56,318 --> 00:20:59,511
On the positive side, I guess
that she really had fun.

342
00:21:17,219 --> 00:21:19,401
So, it's quite late,

343
00:21:19,601 --> 00:21:23,365
and I managed to find a woman
awake watching television.

344
00:21:23,565 --> 00:21:26,768
And she seems to be
a good victim.

345
00:21:28,059 --> 00:21:30,962
I'm going to use hypnosis on her...

346
00:21:33,295 --> 00:21:35,157
See me...

347
00:21:36,738 --> 00:21:39,020
See me...

348
00:21:40,722 --> 00:21:43,835
She can't... she can't me
see it from this angle.

349
00:21:44,065 --> 00:21:46,748
Vladislav used to be
extremely powerful.

350
00:21:46,828 --> 00:21:49,211
He could hypnotize
crowds of people.

351
00:21:49,371 --> 00:21:52,174
Big orgies.
20, 30 women.

352
00:21:52,234 --> 00:21:54,336
He could transform into
all types of animals.

353
00:21:54,536 --> 00:21:56,438
But now he can't
get the faces right.

354
00:21:56,638 --> 00:21:59,381
He could kill anyone.
Men, women, children...

355
00:21:59,461 --> 00:22:02,524
Burning everything.

356
00:22:02,724 --> 00:22:03,865
It was totally incredible.

357
00:22:03,975 --> 00:22:07,509
But he suffered a
humiliating defeat

358
00:22:07,649 --> 00:22:10,232
in the hands of his archenemy...

359
00:22:10,432 --> 00:22:12,234
"The Beast".

360
00:22:20,122 --> 00:22:22,284
And he was never the same again.

361
00:22:22,474 --> 00:22:23,965
See me...

362
00:22:25,817 --> 00:22:27,929
See me...

363
00:22:29,341 --> 00:22:31,543
See me...

364
00:22:33,235 --> 00:22:35,497
See me...

365
00:22:37,088 --> 00:22:39,421
Would you like to join?

366
00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:03,905
Oh!

367
00:23:03,935 --> 00:23:06,188
- Jackie, welcome! Between.
- Hello.

368
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,521
This is Nick. Ex-boyfriend.

369
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:10,903
- And Josephine.
- Cool house.

370
00:23:11,103 --> 00:23:13,915
And this is Deacon, my friend
foreign, from Europe.

371
00:23:14,016 --> 00:23:17,644
Deacon and his friends
they need victims.

372
00:23:17,769 --> 00:23:20,096
Hey! Please come in!
Welcome.

373
00:23:20,689 --> 00:23:23,358
They can't be people who...

374
00:23:23,484 --> 00:23:26,361
I really get involved,
or that I like,

375
00:23:26,487 --> 00:23:28,363
because, of course, they
will become victims.

376
00:23:28,670 --> 00:23:30,702
Hey! Josephine?

377
00:23:30,862 --> 00:23:33,115
No, I sat next to you
in English class. Do you remember?

378
00:23:33,615 --> 00:23:36,037
Um, you used to me
call Jackiexorcist.

379
00:23:36,448 --> 00:23:38,310
No, you called,
you called. Yes.

380
00:23:38,390 --> 00:23:40,041
No, you started it.

381
00:23:40,532 --> 00:23:43,885
It was you who started calling me
like that and then it kind of stuck.

382
00:23:44,386 --> 00:23:45,066
Yes.

383
00:23:45,217 --> 00:23:47,809
Okay, goodbye then. Goodbye.

384
00:23:47,899 --> 00:23:48,810
She's in.

385
00:23:53,645 --> 00:23:54,836
Do you like this, Nick?

386
00:23:55,137 --> 00:23:56,858
Yes, it's cool.

387
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,763
I'm going out and
prepare dinner.

388
00:24:04,706 --> 00:24:07,018
Nick, you are
virgin, after all?

389
00:24:07,269 --> 00:24:08,290
What?

390
00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:11,433
It doesn't seem like...
Are you a virgin?

391
00:24:11,513 --> 00:24:13,675
- Yes.
- Hmm, no.

392
00:24:14,176 --> 00:24:16,047
You were a virgin when
we were staying.

393
00:24:16,248 --> 00:24:17,279
Yes, I was 12 years old.

394
00:24:17,479 --> 00:24:18,720
You said he was a virgin.

395
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,583
I think we drank
virgin blood

396
00:24:21,863 --> 00:24:23,084
because it looks cool.

397
00:24:23,155 --> 00:24:24,766
I think about it like this...

398
00:24:25,016 --> 00:24:27,329
If you are going
eat a sandwich,

399
00:24:27,809 --> 00:24:31,453
you would enjoy it more if you
know that no one fucked with him.

400
00:24:31,633 --> 00:24:34,106
Let's focus on Josefine.

401
00:24:34,216 --> 00:24:35,727
Are you a virgin?

402
00:24:35,857 --> 00:24:37,038
I'm not, no.

403
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:38,660
Okay, I'm really sorry.

404
00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:39,982
Because I totally

405
00:24:40,182 --> 00:24:41,643
considered her a virgin.

406
00:24:41,823 --> 00:24:44,696
She looks like a virgin.
She talks like a virgin, I mean...

407
00:24:45,357 --> 00:24:47,359
Who would have sex with her?
I wouldn't.

408
00:24:47,849 --> 00:24:49,030
I would.

409
00:24:50,011 --> 00:24:50,912
Oh.

410
00:24:52,854 --> 00:24:53,895
Okay, good.

411
00:24:54,095 --> 00:24:56,948
- Okay, here are 2 dinners.
- Nick.

412
00:24:57,199 --> 00:24:59,100
Do you like spaghetti?

413
00:24:59,321 --> 00:25:01,273
Yes, normally I do.

414
00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:03,665
But it would be better if
was hot.

415
00:25:03,885 --> 00:25:05,387
So this is mine
favorite trick.

416
00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:08,990
We present our guest
with a plate of spaghetti.

417
00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:12,974
And then, I say, "Why do you
Don't you have some spaghetti?"

418
00:25:13,465 --> 00:25:14,736
Please, Nick,

419
00:25:14,866 --> 00:25:16,268
eat some spaghetti.

420
00:25:18,190 --> 00:25:22,073
I didn't know you liked
from eating worms, Nick.

421
00:25:22,124 --> 00:25:24,686
- No. No.
- They're worms.

422
00:25:25,407 --> 00:25:27,309
There are worms squirming
on my plate.

423
00:25:27,509 --> 00:25:27,519
They look like worms, but
they are not actually worms.

424
00:25:27,719 --> 00:25:29,481
This is mere spaghetti.

425
00:25:29,561 --> 00:25:32,354
We stole this idea
from "The Lost Boys".

426
00:25:32,504 --> 00:25:34,276
But I put a beautiful
turnaround in it.

427
00:25:34,476 --> 00:25:35,267
Nick.

428
00:25:35,357 --> 00:25:38,660
How does it feel to have
a snake for a penis?

429
00:25:40,422 --> 00:25:41,233
Jackie?

430
00:25:41,263 --> 00:25:42,925
My penis disappeared.
There's a cobra in place.

431
00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:46,037
No one will confuse your penis
with a snake, Nick, okay?

432
00:25:46,047 --> 00:25:47,429
- Believe me.
- What did you put in my spaghetti?

433
00:25:47,449 --> 00:25:50,202
No, it's just a normal penis.

434
00:25:50,392 --> 00:25:52,504
I'm out.
I'm out.

435
00:25:52,714 --> 00:25:54,176
Josephine?

436
00:25:54,376 --> 00:25:56,378
Do you like spaghetti?

437
00:25:58,347 --> 00:26:00,849
Look, these freaks
they baptized my spaghetti,

438
00:26:00,974 --> 00:26:02,267
they made my penis
transform into a snake.

439
00:26:02,392 --> 00:26:05,270
That's not cool.
It's not cool.

440
00:26:11,363 --> 00:26:12,794
Don't you think that
Is this weird?

441
00:26:14,366 --> 00:26:15,717
For God's sake.

442
00:26:21,953 --> 00:26:23,325
Jackie?!

443
00:26:23,565 --> 00:26:25,347
Jackie!

444
00:26:25,407 --> 00:26:27,769
- Sorry, Nick.
- What are you doing?

445
00:26:28,710 --> 00:26:29,931
Jackie!

446
00:26:35,547 --> 00:26:36,658
Shit! Shit!

447
00:26:42,850 --> 00:26:43,658
What the hell is that?

448
00:27:04,266 --> 00:27:05,387
Get out!

449
00:27:09,991 --> 00:27:11,193
Where am I?

450
00:27:33,835 --> 00:27:34,686
Damn.

451
00:27:37,619 --> 00:27:38,480
Damn.

452
00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:50,011
Freaks!

453
00:27:59,851 --> 00:28:01,513
Oh, no...

454
00:28:02,083 --> 00:28:03,445
Petyr caught him.

455
00:28:03,475 --> 00:28:05,076
Poor thing...

456
00:28:05,547 --> 00:28:07,179
Who let Petyr leave?

457
00:28:23,970 --> 00:28:27,343
Two months later

458
00:29:06,338 --> 00:29:07,699
Hey guys!

459
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,502
Hi, what are you doing?

460
00:29:11,243 --> 00:29:12,654
What are you doing, Nick?

461
00:29:12,804 --> 00:29:14,296
Come inside the house.

462
00:29:15,557 --> 00:29:17,219
<i> - Hi, my name is Nick. </i>
- Hi, guys!

463
00:29:17,299 --> 00:29:18,960
<I> I've been a vampire
for 2 months. </i>

464
00:29:20,674 --> 00:29:22,759
I think probably the best
thing about being a vampire

465
00:29:22,884 --> 00:29:24,094
is being able to fly.

466
00:29:24,219 --> 00:29:25,095
Like, like I always wanted.

467
00:29:25,220 --> 00:29:26,763
I think everyone
I always wanted to fly.

468
00:29:26,153 --> 00:29:28,108
{\a6}Nick
Recent vampire

469
00:29:27,108 --> 00:29:28,650
And now I can.

470
00:29:39,131 --> 00:29:41,593
Nick, why don't you
do you use the front door?

471
00:29:42,714 --> 00:29:44,116
Why should I?
I'm flying.

472
00:29:44,756 --> 00:29:45,987
Petyr bit me.

473
00:29:46,138 --> 00:29:47,289
It sucked all my blood.

474
00:29:47,369 --> 00:29:48,880
I woke up in your basement and...

475
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:50,522
he offered me some blood.

476
00:29:50,722 --> 00:29:52,329
I thought it was just something...

477
00:29:52,529 --> 00:29:54,136
something German that
these guys do.

478
00:29:54,286 --> 00:29:57,349
This transition to becoming
a vampire is very difficult.

479
00:29:57,979 --> 00:30:01,983
For starters, I looked like shit.
I had a huge gash on my neck.

480
00:30:02,244 --> 00:30:03,925
Like, could you see the
inside my neck.

481
00:30:04,045 --> 00:30:05,677
I was covered in blood.

482
00:30:06,268 --> 00:30:08,550
And then I got home
and was sweating.

483
00:30:08,750 --> 00:30:10,272
I was either too hot,
or very cold.

484
00:30:10,522 --> 00:30:12,434
It was like a hangover
10 times worse, I think.

485
00:30:12,634 --> 00:30:13,835
It was very bad.

486
00:30:20,162 --> 00:30:21,823
It was very similar
like having the flu.

487
00:30:22,023 --> 00:30:24,436
Except the only difference,
It would probably be...

488
00:30:24,706 --> 00:30:26,658
that my eyes
they were bleeding a lot.

489
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:29,971
Aren't you guys cold?

490
00:30:30,472 --> 00:30:33,885
I don't know, I can't explain it.
It was like, really hot and cold...

491
00:30:33,975 --> 00:30:36,148
and like, eyes bleeding,
and fly and such.

492
00:30:36,478 --> 00:30:38,660
Neighbors can see you
flying around the house.

493
00:30:38,860 --> 00:30:40,842
You want to get attention
to this house, huh?

494
00:30:41,042 --> 00:30:43,305
You have a whole team of
documentary filmmakers accompanying you.

495
00:30:43,365 --> 00:30:45,467
I'm doing an erotic dance
for my friends.

496
00:30:45,517 --> 00:30:47,599
And you ruined it.
I was killing it.

497
00:30:47,799 --> 00:30:48,990
My friends were loving it.

498
00:30:49,161 --> 00:30:50,592
I loved it. I saw the ending.
It looked great.

499
00:30:50,792 --> 00:30:53,755
I don't... I don't know if I'm...
if I'm accepted yet.

500
00:30:53,955 --> 00:30:56,007
But... I don't know.
I think I'm getting there.

501
00:30:56,338 --> 00:30:58,350
I know they're old and stuff,
but they are very naive...

502
00:30:58,440 --> 00:30:59,831
when it comes to the real world.

503
00:31:00,322 --> 00:31:01,523
So...

504
00:31:01,723 --> 00:31:03,265
I don't know, it must
just be nice...

505
00:31:03,385 --> 00:31:05,147
hang out with them. They can
teach me some things.

506
00:31:05,347 --> 00:31:07,109
I probably could
teach them a few things.

507
00:31:14,466 --> 00:31:16,588
At first it was like, 'Oh no,

508
00:31:17,088 --> 00:31:18,059
I'm dead!'

509
00:31:18,420 --> 00:31:22,324
It kind of affected my friendship with
normal people, my family and such.

510
00:31:22,514 --> 00:31:24,996
But the way I look at it,
I have a new family.

511
00:31:25,167 --> 00:31:29,020
They accept me for who I am
and I accept them for what they are.

512
00:31:29,701 --> 00:31:30,812
Even if...

513
00:31:30,932 --> 00:31:32,194
one of them killed me.

514
00:31:32,494 --> 00:31:34,075
Where could we
go tonight?

515
00:31:34,146 --> 00:31:35,297
Let's go to Big Kumara.

516
00:31:35,317 --> 00:31:38,059
- Why don't we go to Boogie Wonderland?
- We never went into Boogie Wonderland.

517
00:31:38,150 --> 00:31:40,522
My friend Richard is the security guard.
He can get us in there.

518
00:31:40,722 --> 00:31:42,524
- What? Serious?
- He's going to invite us in.

519
00:31:42,894 --> 00:31:45,197
- Stu is the man. Stu loves this!
- Who? Is this Stu?

520
00:31:45,357 --> 00:31:47,489
Oh, this is my friend Stu.

521
00:31:47,749 --> 00:31:49,951
- Hello.
- He works with computers and such.

522
00:31:50,212 --> 00:31:51,973
In the past he left
with my sister.

523
00:31:52,053 --> 00:31:53,475
And then they broke up.

524
00:31:53,655 --> 00:31:55,157
I didn't want her
stay with him, but...

525
00:31:55,217 --> 00:31:56,358
That was none of my business.

526
00:31:56,428 --> 00:31:58,760
And, hmm... you can't hear me.

527
00:32:00,832 --> 00:32:02,194
So, basically...

528
00:32:02,734 --> 00:32:04,386
Stu doesn't know that
I am a vampire.

529
00:32:04,626 --> 00:32:06,688
And he doesn't know that my
friends are vampires.

530
00:32:06,948 --> 00:32:08,079
He just thinks
I just...

531
00:32:08,310 --> 00:32:10,731
meet some colorful friends.
- This is jasmine.

532
00:32:10,892 --> 00:32:14,736
I brought him home and everyone thought
that I had brought a meal.

533
00:32:15,377 --> 00:32:16,208
It's just that...

534
00:32:16,288 --> 00:32:17,999
It really, really sucks...

535
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:19,821
that I can't eat it.

536
00:32:20,051 --> 00:32:22,334
I just wanted to like... aaaah!

537
00:32:23,445 --> 00:32:26,108
Look at him. He's the guy
reddest I know.

538
00:32:26,428 --> 00:32:28,110
But... you can hear me.

539
00:32:28,870 --> 00:32:31,853
- Yes. Do you like computer things and such?
- Yes yes. I like it, yes!

540
00:32:31,993 --> 00:32:34,786
- Databases.
- Yes, like computers, mainly.

541
00:32:36,067 --> 00:32:39,461
Let's have a vote for Boogie
Wonderland or the Big Kumara.

542
00:32:39,841 --> 00:32:41,233
Big Kumara!

543
00:32:43,209 --> 00:32:45,253
- Cool.
- Excellent!

544
00:32:45,747 --> 00:32:46,898
Come on Stu, hurry up.

545
00:32:48,029 --> 00:32:51,092
I don't think Nick should have
been turned into a vampire.

546
00:32:52,294 --> 00:32:53,875
He's such an asshole.

547
00:32:54,596 --> 00:32:55,947
How are you, bro?
Looks great, man!

548
00:32:55,972 --> 00:32:58,558
Gentlemen, you are
very welcome!

549
00:33:07,129 --> 00:33:08,750
We're at Boogie Wonderland!

550
00:33:08,950 --> 00:33:14,946
So here we are at Boogie Wonderland.
And it's a lot of fun.

551
00:33:14,948 --> 00:33:16,280
They have an illuminated floor.

552
00:33:16,298 --> 00:33:18,040
This is incredible!

553
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,102
I'm so happy to be here.

554
00:33:20,592 --> 00:33:22,624
This is very tacky.

555
00:33:22,824 --> 00:33:25,026
Furthermore, have you seen the
jacket he wore?

556
00:33:25,587 --> 00:33:27,419
He's using the same
jacket than me.

557
00:33:27,619 --> 00:33:30,021
It's not exactly the same.
It's very similar.

558
00:33:37,048 --> 00:33:39,000
I'm just loving
be a vampire.

559
00:33:44,836 --> 00:33:46,848
There is the "Fat Ladies Arms"

560
00:33:46,988 --> 00:33:49,871
Ah, on Wednesday they do
a "Fear Factor" type competition.

561
00:33:49,891 --> 00:33:53,235
You can win, like, t-shirts
and hats and gifts.

562
00:33:53,435 --> 00:33:55,237
I can smell it
of werewolves.

563
00:33:55,238 --> 00:33:56,616
Okay, we're about to pass

564
00:33:56,741 --> 00:33:59,244
by some werewolves, so
some shit could happen!

565
00:33:59,481 --> 00:34:01,843
Careful guys, no
they will get fleas.

566
00:34:01,973 --> 00:34:03,295
- How is it, friend?
-Deacon.

567
00:34:03,345 --> 00:34:05,066
- Sorry, what?
- Keep going, keep moving.

568
00:34:05,266 --> 00:34:07,129
We hear that, friend.
We have hearing sensitivity.

569
00:34:07,149 --> 00:34:08,020
- Do you have it?
- Yes.

570
00:34:08,220 --> 00:34:09,921
What are you filming?
It's a music video, isn't it?

571
00:34:10,121 --> 00:34:11,713
- We don't want any problems.
- I want!

572
00:34:11,873 --> 00:34:14,516
- Well, then why did you start?
- Did I manage to irritate you?

573
00:34:15,117 --> 00:34:17,599
Why don't you smell your
own crotch, huh?

574
00:34:17,799 --> 00:34:18,690
- Come on, Deacon. Stop!
- What are you talking about?

575
00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:21,893
We don't smell our own crotches.
We smell other people's crotches.

576
00:34:22,093 --> 00:34:23,895
And it is a form of greeting.

577
00:34:23,955 --> 00:34:26,027
- You're in front of the camera, don't do that.
- What?

578
00:34:26,077 --> 00:34:27,759
It's okay, because
I know this guy.

579
00:34:27,959 --> 00:34:28,970
It's Count Bichacula.

580
00:34:30,472 --> 00:34:31,883
Hey, hey, hey! Don't swear.

581
00:34:32,083 --> 00:34:33,985
- Sorry, they, they...
- We are werewolves,

582
00:34:34,185 --> 00:34:34,996
not "Xingaosomens".
- What are we?

583
00:34:35,287 --> 00:34:36,918
We are werewolves, not "Swearers".

584
00:34:37,199 --> 00:34:40,482
- Faggot is not an insult!
- That is a very offensive word to call a person.

585
00:34:40,512 --> 00:34:42,814
Well, unless you are
talking about dicks.

586
00:34:42,894 --> 00:34:44,486
Take this stick,

587
00:34:44,516 --> 00:34:45,367
Werewolves!

588
00:34:45,567 --> 00:34:48,160
- No, no, no! It's not real! It's just...
- Don't take it, Nathan, it's not real.

589
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:49,821
He's just going to take off his gloves.

590
00:34:50,021 --> 00:34:52,054
Oh, shit, man!
Why the hell did you do that?

591
00:34:52,254 --> 00:34:55,477
Hey! Don't swear! We're going to lose control.
We're going to lose control.

592
00:34:56,298 --> 00:34:57,269
Calm down.
Calm down!

593
00:34:57,469 --> 00:34:58,870
- Shit, I still have glasses!
- Dion! Dion!

594
00:35:04,816 --> 00:35:06,428
Breathe!
Breathe!

595
00:35:06,628 --> 00:35:08,550
Count to 10, friend. Count to 10.

596
00:35:08,750 --> 00:35:09,691
- Come on.
- Hold him.

597
00:35:09,891 --> 00:35:11,893
Count to 10, become human again.

598
00:35:11,983 --> 00:35:13,575
- 10, human again...
- Everything is fine. It's not a full moon.

599
00:35:13,645 --> 00:35:14,646
Thank you very much guys.

600
00:35:14,976 --> 00:35:16,988
- Enjoy your night, okay?
- You should be ashamed of yourself, man.

601
00:35:17,058 --> 00:35:18,480
Excellent! We didn't want that
this had happened.

602
00:35:25,807 --> 00:35:26,518
- Come on guys.

603
00:35:26,718 --> 00:35:28,720
Hey! Speak without spitting, bitch!

604
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:29,661
Declan!

605
00:35:29,881 --> 00:35:32,424
- Why are you swearing all the time?!
- Well, he provoked me...

606
00:35:32,624 --> 00:35:34,426
- Were they really werewolves?
- Yes.

607
00:35:34,626 --> 00:35:36,428
Are you okay, Stu?

608
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,642
I really don't know how...

609
00:35:40,762 --> 00:35:42,774
address this, because I
I've never done this before.

610
00:35:43,205 --> 00:35:45,367
And he's a good friend.

611
00:35:45,577 --> 00:35:46,868
And I don't want...

612
00:35:47,429 --> 00:35:49,281
I don't want to end
this friendship, but...

613
00:35:49,451 --> 00:35:52,894
Come to think of it, what do you do when
Does anyone tell you they're a vampire?

614
00:35:53,875 --> 00:35:55,707
I'm hoping that
he will be angry.

615
00:35:55,907 --> 00:35:59,571
He might be scared. I am waiting
many things appear on the surface.

616
00:36:00,322 --> 00:36:01,913
You probably noticed
what has happened...

617
00:36:02,624 --> 00:36:05,597
I've been through some
changes recently.

618
00:36:06,718 --> 00:36:07,519
- Sim.
- Sim?

619
00:36:07,559 --> 00:36:08,220
Sim.

620
00:36:08,540 --> 00:36:09,611
Type...

621
00:36:09,901 --> 00:36:11,783
I don't appear anymore
for lunch.

622
00:36:12,654 --> 00:36:14,176
Sim.

623
00:36:14,336 --> 00:36:16,898
And how I changed all of our
tennis matches

624
00:36:16,958 --> 00:36:18,380
for evening tennis matches.

625
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:19,231
Right...

626
00:36:19,601 --> 00:36:21,243
And how did you stop beating me

627
00:36:21,443 --> 00:36:23,045
every time and now

628
00:36:23,245 --> 00:36:25,247
I won the last 3 games?

629
00:36:26,408 --> 00:36:27,389
Yes.

630
00:36:27,709 --> 00:36:28,500
So...

631
00:36:28,850 --> 00:36:30,202
The reason I
brought you here...

632
00:36:31,113 --> 00:36:32,934
is to tell you that...

633
00:36:33,985 --> 00:36:35,487
I'm a vampire!

634
00:36:39,171 --> 00:36:40,322
Stu took it very well.

635
00:36:40,522 --> 00:36:42,524
He is definitely
my best friend.

636
00:36:42,654 --> 00:36:43,945
And I'm not eating it.

637
00:36:44,005 --> 00:36:45,747
If they ever
offer spaghetti...

638
00:36:45,777 --> 00:36:47,969
you must not eat.

639
00:36:49,631 --> 00:36:51,473
I think they
They offered cookies.

640
00:36:52,033 --> 00:36:54,116
Vampires don't eat their
best human friends.

641
00:36:54,286 --> 00:36:56,228
And no matter how much
I want to eat it...

642
00:36:56,288 --> 00:36:58,120
I will never eat it, because
he is my best friend.

643
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:00,142
- Right, Stu?
- Yes.

644
00:37:00,802 --> 00:37:01,523
Yeah.

645
00:37:03,665 --> 00:37:06,288
Stu is amazing!

646
00:37:07,399 --> 00:37:08,840
We really like him.

647
00:37:08,850 --> 00:37:11,473
At first I wanted to kill him.

648
00:37:11,553 --> 00:37:14,996
But now I'm glad that
I had time to get to know him.

649
00:37:15,096 --> 00:37:19,040
Yes, of course he looks delicious
with her big red cheeks.

650
00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:23,205
But we all have an agreement
that we're not going to eat Stu.

651
00:37:23,285 --> 00:37:24,766
- Right?
- Right.

652
00:37:24,826 --> 00:37:27,489
The guys up there,
they are loving him.

653
00:37:27,618 --> 00:37:28,995
At first they were kinda,

654
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,080
"Who is this human you are
bringing it into the house?"

655
00:37:31,423 --> 00:37:33,015
But it literally took 2 minutes

656
00:37:33,215 --> 00:37:35,217
so they like him more
than me, I guess.

657
00:37:35,747 --> 00:37:38,110
I'm knitting one
scarf for Stu.

658
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,902
Please try again.
Use your legs.

659
00:37:43,595 --> 00:37:47,088
- Step back...
- Higher punch.

660
00:37:47,489 --> 00:37:48,870
- Yes.
- Hi.

661
00:37:49,070 --> 00:37:49,331
Yes.

662
00:37:49,531 --> 00:37:51,012
What I'm trying to say is

663
00:37:51,543 --> 00:37:52,964
because I know you...

664
00:37:53,195 --> 00:37:54,466
you transformed me
into a vampire.

665
00:37:54,846 --> 00:37:56,728
Maybe I shouldn't do it
the same with him.

666
00:37:56,758 --> 00:37:58,690
He is a
vegetarian.

667
00:37:58,740 --> 00:38:00,542
The last thing he
I would like to eat

668
00:38:00,742 --> 00:38:03,505
a living being, or eating blood,
or eat meat.

669
00:38:04,095 --> 00:38:06,248
- I'm controlling it.
- Take it, take it!

670
00:38:06,318 --> 00:38:10,562
It's incredible to see how far the
technology can advance

671
00:38:10,672 --> 00:38:12,614
if you are not
paying attention.

672
00:38:14,376 --> 00:38:16,037
A message received.

673
00:38:20,292 --> 00:38:23,044
There is a crucifix behind you.

674
00:38:23,105 --> 00:38:25,777
So, turn this one down, like, kinda
point down will adjust the focus.

675
00:38:25,977 --> 00:38:26,738
Smile, maybe.

676
00:38:31,633 --> 00:38:34,276
- Anything you want to find, you...
- Yes.

677
00:38:34,366 --> 00:38:36,678
- You can enter your name here.
- I lost...

678
00:38:36,698 --> 00:38:41,153
a very fine silk scarf circa 1912.

679
00:38:41,353 --> 00:38:42,284
Yes, now Google that.

680
00:38:42,324 --> 00:38:46,918
Stu is the first human friend
that I've had in a long time.

681
00:38:46,948 --> 00:38:49,991
With human beings there are
a tendency to die.

682
00:38:51,433 --> 00:38:52,314
Yes.

683
00:38:52,514 --> 00:38:53,815
We can look at your photos.

684
00:38:54,015 --> 00:38:56,178
- Oh yes.
- Or you can poke her.

685
00:38:58,860 --> 00:38:59,751
Yes.

686
00:39:00,152 --> 00:39:02,584
We can watch a movie
with the sunrise?

687
00:39:04,126 --> 00:39:05,857
- What? Shit!

688
00:39:05,947 --> 00:39:07,419
Cool...

689
00:39:07,579 --> 00:39:10,852
If you select images,
we can see photos of virgins.

690
00:39:11,052 --> 00:39:12,854
- Oh yes. Yes.
- Yes, yes...

691
00:39:15,617 --> 00:39:19,221
I don't think she's a virgin,
if you are doing this.

692
00:39:32,674 --> 00:39:33,955
There he is, yes.

693
00:39:34,136 --> 00:39:36,388
This is my old servant, Phillip.

694
00:39:36,498 --> 00:39:38,740
- So, shall we call him?
- Yes.

695
00:39:38,810 --> 00:39:40,162
And...

696
00:39:40,252 --> 00:39:42,033
maximize the screen...

697
00:39:46,198 --> 00:39:49,060
My God, it's him, it's him! It's him!
It's Phillip! It's Phillip.

698
00:39:49,260 --> 00:39:51,062
- He looks old.

699
00:39:51,064 --> 00:39:52,974
Master

700
00:39:52,976 --> 00:39:58,700
It's been so long,
you look the same.

701
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,983
Tell me, did you find Katherine?

702
00:40:02,884 --> 00:40:07,989
Hmm, no rush, you know,
love is patient.

703
00:40:08,890 --> 00:40:12,994
Listen, Phillip. you paid
the wrong fare for the coffin.

704
00:40:13,014 --> 00:40:14,996
What?

705
00:40:15,016 --> 00:40:20,802
To the coffin. You paid the wrong fare
and it took me ages to get here.

706
00:40:20,902 --> 00:40:21,803
Teacher...

707
00:40:21,903 --> 00:40:26,208
Master, you promised me you would
turn me into a vampire.

708
00:40:26,308 --> 00:40:29,211
I'm 90 years old.

709
00:40:29,311 --> 00:40:32,013
You promised me, and now I'm so old.

710
00:40:32,214 --> 00:40:34,816
Well, it was great to see you again, Phillip.

711
00:40:34,818 --> 00:40:37,140
- Bye!
- I've never done anything with my life.

712
00:40:37,141 --> 00:40:40,353
- Oh. Just click on this one. Yes, this one.
- I've been waiting...

713
00:40:50,858 --> 00:40:54,706
Rita Angus Nursing Home

714
00:41:22,853 --> 00:41:24,063
...data about where things are.

715
00:41:24,188 --> 00:41:25,898
Oh, like Google Map stuff?

716
00:41:26,023 --> 00:41:27,191
Yes. Like Google Maps,

717
00:41:27,316 --> 00:41:29,485
but, like, with more layers
of information.

718
00:41:29,691 --> 00:41:32,033
Have you seen the movie "Twilight"?

719
00:41:32,484 --> 00:41:35,717
Okay, I'm the main guy in Twilight.
Do you know the main guy?

720
00:41:35,817 --> 00:41:36,798
Dusk?

721
00:41:37,119 --> 00:41:38,059
It is me.

722
00:41:38,079 --> 00:41:39,431
There are cameras following me.

723
00:41:39,461 --> 00:41:40,432
They could have chosen
anyone.

724
00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:42,894
For how many people do you
Have I told you that you are a vampire?

725
00:41:43,024 --> 00:41:45,086
- Not many.
- I heard that girl...

726
00:41:45,107 --> 00:41:48,039
talking about it. She said
that you were a vampire.

727
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:49,050
Yes, I told her.

728
00:41:49,121 --> 00:41:50,537
- Who else?
- Who else did you tell?

729
00:41:50,737 --> 00:41:52,154
I told her hot friend.

730
00:41:52,194 --> 00:41:55,177
You can't say to
everyone who is a vampire.

731
00:41:55,377 --> 00:41:58,096
- Who is this guy?
- I don't know, but I told him.

732
00:41:58,097 --> 00:42:00,600
- You can't tell everyone.
- All good. I am not going.

733
00:42:00,725 --> 00:42:03,811
I'm a vampire!

734
00:42:03,936 --> 00:42:05,354
Vampire!

735
00:42:05,497 --> 00:42:07,519
Yes, I have a problem
in my eyes.

736
00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:08,710
What's wrong with them?

737
00:42:08,910 --> 00:42:11,233
Vampire eyes.
I can't look at the sun.

738
00:42:11,933 --> 00:42:13,955
Oh, my God, are those your fangs?

739
00:42:14,206 --> 00:42:15,297
In truth?

740
00:42:15,497 --> 00:42:16,588
True truth!

741
00:42:16,798 --> 00:42:18,120
True truth!

742
00:42:18,370 --> 00:42:19,571
I am a vampire.

743
00:42:19,661 --> 00:42:20,802
- What?
- Yes.

744
00:42:21,052 --> 00:42:23,915
- I'm a vampire hunter.
- No, you're not.

745
00:42:23,985 --> 00:42:25,797
- I am.
- You piece of shit.

746
00:42:25,957 --> 00:42:27,269
I'll send you a Skype!

747
00:42:27,349 --> 00:42:28,030
I float.

748
00:42:28,230 --> 00:42:29,771
- I can transform into things.
- Me too.

749
00:42:30,572 --> 00:42:32,224
- No, you can't.
- Yes.

750
00:42:32,424 --> 00:42:33,925
I'll show you.

751
00:42:34,176 --> 00:42:36,448
You show me. Show me some
of your vampire stuff.

752
00:42:36,648 --> 00:42:37,569
What do I have?

753
00:42:43,105 --> 00:42:45,407
Don't lie about whether
transform into things.

754
00:42:52,124 --> 00:42:54,596
- Twilight!
- Shut up, Nick!

755
00:42:55,347 --> 00:42:56,568
You are not the twilight.

756
00:42:56,768 --> 00:42:58,890
- What's your problem?
- You are my problem.

757
00:42:59,070 --> 00:43:01,103
Telling the world that
we are vampires.

758
00:43:01,163 --> 00:43:02,864
And I'll tell the whole world
now that you are an idiot.

759
00:43:03,064 --> 00:43:03,965
Shut up!

760
00:43:05,096 --> 00:43:05,727
- Shut up!
- Guys!

761
00:43:05,927 --> 00:43:06,838
- Shut up!
- No, you shut up!

762
00:43:07,038 --> 00:43:08,520
- No, you shut up.
- You shut up.

763
00:43:08,650 --> 00:43:09,531
I'm Dracula, man!

764
00:43:09,731 --> 00:43:11,052
- You're not Dracula!
- I am Dracula!

765
00:43:11,252 --> 00:43:12,594
You don't even know who Dracula is!

766
00:43:12,794 --> 00:43:13,535
You idiot!

767
00:43:17,098 --> 00:43:20,192
- Oh, bat fight!
- Bat fight! Oh, yes, yes, yes!

768
00:43:27,689 --> 00:43:29,261
Oh, Deacon!

769
00:43:30,552 --> 00:43:32,654
That's not fair, man

770
00:43:32,834 --> 00:43:33,916
My fucking jacket, man!

771
00:43:34,116 --> 00:43:36,118
I don't care about
your stupid jacket.

772
00:43:37,739 --> 00:43:39,991
- Deacon!
- Are you okay, man?

773
00:43:56,528 --> 00:43:58,550
Hey Stu?

774
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:01,503
How are your worms?

775
00:44:01,943 --> 00:44:03,014
What?

776
00:44:03,145 --> 00:44:04,976
You are eating worms.

777
00:44:09,371 --> 00:44:12,514
You can do that shit
to turn into worms?

778
00:44:12,554 --> 00:44:13,505
No.

779
00:44:13,575 --> 00:44:14,546
Does not work on French fries.

780
00:44:14,746 --> 00:44:17,609
It only works on things that
They already look like worms.

781
00:44:17,789 --> 00:44:21,203
- Maybe pasta. Do you want some pasta?
- Now he knows!

782
00:44:22,694 --> 00:44:24,626
Oh no! You don't
should eat this.

783
00:44:27,689 --> 00:44:28,460
Why?

784
00:44:38,980 --> 00:44:40,572
Are you okay, Nick?

785
00:44:41,743 --> 00:44:43,425
All good?

786
00:44:49,611 --> 00:44:51,002
He ate a potato.

787
00:44:51,213 --> 00:44:53,094
Now I can't eat
solids. Excellent!

788
00:44:53,285 --> 00:44:54,596
I can't take
sunbathing.

789
00:44:54,626 --> 00:44:56,218
I can't watch
Daytime TV.

790
00:44:56,368 --> 00:44:58,290
Can I if... Oh, yes,
I think I could.

791
00:44:58,710 --> 00:45:00,462
The worst of all are
the fries.

792
00:45:00,682 --> 00:45:02,384
My favorite food!
I can't eat fries.

793
00:45:03,615 --> 00:45:05,147
I don't... it's just...

794
00:45:05,347 --> 00:45:06,108
I hate...

795
00:45:06,268 --> 00:45:08,280
I will say. I'm tired of
be a vampire! It sucks!

796
00:45:08,910 --> 00:45:10,572
So don't believe
in advertising.

797
00:45:27,829 --> 00:45:28,630
Jackie?!

798
00:45:31,553 --> 00:45:32,874
Jackie, can I come in, please?

799
00:45:32,934 --> 00:45:35,076
Okay, off to bed, kids!
- Hello, little children!

800
00:45:35,167 --> 00:45:37,364
- Don't look at the man.

801
00:45:37,564 --> 00:45:39,761
Natasha, don't look at the man.

802
00:45:40,482 --> 00:45:42,234
I was going to bite her tonight.

803
00:45:42,584 --> 00:45:43,125
Serious?

804
00:45:43,165 --> 00:45:46,328
But now I can't, for there is
this Nick being a vampire.

805
00:45:46,528 --> 00:45:48,520
Sorry, I thought you had
killed him 2 months ago.

806
00:45:48,720 --> 00:45:50,522
No, I don't...
No, he's a vampire.

807
00:45:50,542 --> 00:45:51,433
What do you mean?

808
00:45:51,533 --> 00:45:53,355
He jumped in front of you.

809
00:45:54,736 --> 00:45:56,868
Everything I am
saying is that...

810
00:45:57,609 --> 00:45:59,301
You know if I had
a penis, I would have been...

811
00:45:59,501 --> 00:46:01,002
I would have been bitten
years ago.

812
00:46:01,223 --> 00:46:02,854
Maybe I have to
penalize you.

813
00:46:04,426 --> 00:46:07,088
Maybe a few years.
Maybe 10 years.

814
00:46:08,009 --> 00:46:10,502
Like a big circle, just
biting each other's penises.

815
00:46:10,652 --> 00:46:13,175
You know, they don't even wear shirts,
they wear blouses. It's nothing more than a...

816
00:46:13,375 --> 00:46:15,697
homoerotic club
of stick biters.

817
00:46:15,897 --> 00:46:19,241
And I'm stuck here, passing by
those damn frills.

818
00:46:19,421 --> 00:46:21,002
Clean the bathroom,
too, please.

819
00:46:21,103 --> 00:46:23,365
There is blood everywhere.
It's horrible.

820
00:46:24,065 --> 00:46:26,148
Okay, see you tomorrow.

821
00:46:30,912 --> 00:46:32,214
To bed, please.

822
00:46:45,207 --> 00:46:47,008
Katherine.

823
00:46:47,589 --> 00:46:49,951
She was so charming
and pleasant.

824
00:46:50,151 --> 00:46:51,953
She was everything
I wanted.

825
00:46:52,083 --> 00:46:53,675
Unfortunately...

826
00:46:53,875 --> 00:46:55,877
yes, she was married.

827
00:46:56,077 --> 00:46:58,200
Of course I wanted
kill the guy.

828
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,722
I thought about cutting
your head off.

829
00:47:00,872 --> 00:47:04,306
Draining every drop
of blood he had.

830
00:47:04,396 --> 00:47:05,667
Who wouldn't?

831
00:47:06,788 --> 00:47:10,242
But then, I also saw
how happy she was.

832
00:47:11,333 --> 00:47:13,815
And that made me kind of happy.

833
00:47:14,596 --> 00:47:17,369
And I didn't want to ruin it
everything for her, so...

834
00:47:17,439 --> 00:47:20,572
I did the most thing
Honorable, I just...

835
00:47:20,732 --> 00:47:22,154
I walked away.

836
00:47:22,404 --> 00:47:24,426
And I let her live her life.

837
00:47:45,819 --> 00:47:48,030
- It's coming from Petyr's room!
- What?

838
00:47:49,881 --> 00:47:51,042
Petyr!

839
00:47:51,783 --> 00:47:52,454
Petyr!

840
00:47:52,654 --> 00:47:53,615
Where is it?

841
00:47:53,995 --> 00:47:54,736
Petyr!

842
00:47:54,856 --> 00:47:55,817
Petyr!

843
00:47:56,017 --> 00:47:56,838
Petyr!

844
00:47:59,171 --> 00:48:00,412
Get water!

845
00:48:01,173 --> 00:48:03,625
- Stay away from sunlight!
- Get water! Get water!

846
00:48:03,825 --> 00:48:05,957
Petyr, stay away
of sunlight!

847
00:48:06,157 --> 00:48:07,959
Go into the shadows, Petyr!

848
00:48:07,969 --> 00:48:09,501
Get out of the sunlight!

849
00:48:10,602 --> 00:48:12,354
Get out of my way!

850
00:48:13,155 --> 00:48:14,276
I'm going in!

851
00:48:14,476 --> 00:48:15,347
I'm coming, Petyr!

852
00:48:15,547 --> 00:48:17,589
- Deacon, no, it's sunlight!
- I'm coming to save you!

853
00:48:17,789 --> 00:48:19,701
It's sunshine outside!

854
00:48:19,721 --> 00:48:22,954
It's sunlight!

855
00:48:28,410 --> 00:48:30,122
I arrived too late.

856
00:48:38,970 --> 00:48:40,772
Turn that thing off.

857
00:48:41,703 --> 00:48:44,806
Our friend has just been killed in a
fatal accident caused by sunlight.

858
00:48:59,881 --> 00:49:01,793
So that's what I
I think it happened.

859
00:49:02,244 --> 00:49:04,055
The vampire hunter...

860
00:49:04,236 --> 00:49:06,148
broke the window here.

861
00:49:07,149 --> 00:49:10,622
It had an impact with the table,
breaking the table leg.

862
00:49:11,203 --> 00:49:12,934
So he came this way,

863
00:49:13,565 --> 00:49:15,507
towards the tomb.

864
00:49:16,718 --> 00:49:17,509
Crucifix!

865
00:49:17,699 --> 00:49:19,351
Cover the crucifix!

866
00:49:22,264 --> 00:49:23,295
And then...

867
00:49:23,725 --> 00:49:26,017
Petyr appeared suddenly,
from the tomb,

868
00:49:26,108 --> 00:49:29,191
threw the lid of the tomb into the
vampire hunter direction,

869
00:49:29,481 --> 00:49:32,244
and then the sunlight reached here.

870
00:49:32,324 --> 00:49:34,055
And burned Petyr alive.

871
00:49:34,856 --> 00:49:38,040
I think this is just
a sanded table leg.

872
00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:40,242
- Do you think he messed up that?
- Yes.

873
00:49:40,362 --> 00:49:41,773
Imagine this
stuck in your...

874
00:49:42,944 --> 00:49:45,387
It's very shocking here, Nick.

875
00:49:45,437 --> 00:49:48,270
Look, here is our
Dear Petyr.

876
00:49:48,470 --> 00:49:50,472
- Holy shit.
- Burnt until it sizzles.

877
00:49:50,732 --> 00:49:53,495
- I can't understand this.
- This is the vampire hunter.

878
00:49:54,025 --> 00:49:55,767
- Who is this guy?
- Look at this

879
00:49:55,967 --> 00:49:57,739
bleeding head, turned inside out.

880
00:49:57,939 --> 00:49:59,711
Twist to the other side.
To the other side!

881
00:49:59,881 --> 00:50:02,464
To see who this guy is.

882
00:50:03,485 --> 00:50:06,308
- Typical macho man.
- Ew!

883
00:50:06,508 --> 00:50:07,249
Horrible.

884
00:50:07,369 --> 00:50:08,810
Oh, shit!

885
00:50:09,791 --> 00:50:10,802
I know this guy,
in fact.

886
00:50:10,842 --> 00:50:12,734
Do you know him?

887
00:50:12,934 --> 00:50:14,216
- Yes.
- What?

888
00:50:14,276 --> 00:50:15,957
I saw him in the city,
the other night.

889
00:50:16,658 --> 00:50:18,210
- I told him I was a vampire.
- WHAT?!

890
00:50:18,410 --> 00:50:20,652
I thought he was joking.
He said he was a vampire hunter.

891
00:50:20,702 --> 00:50:22,984
You left a vampire hunter
come into our house?

892
00:50:23,184 --> 00:50:24,986
- I just gave him my email.
- Nick!

893
00:50:26,408 --> 00:50:27,799
I'll rip out your tongue

894
00:50:27,819 --> 00:50:29,371
and stick it up your ass!

895
00:50:34,571 --> 00:50:36,365
I will kill you!

896
00:50:42,955 --> 00:50:45,332
Tear out your tongue!

897
00:50:46,708 --> 00:50:49,169
You killed Petyr
with your big mouth!

898
00:50:49,831 --> 00:50:51,233
It was a mistake!

899
00:50:52,834 --> 00:50:54,816
Get up and stand
on that roof like a man.

900
00:51:01,783 --> 00:51:03,115
We can talk
about this, okay?

901
00:51:03,205 --> 00:51:03,795
We can talk about
That's it, man!

902
00:51:03,995 --> 00:51:06,288
- I'm going to kill you!
- I'm already dead!

903
00:51:06,698 --> 00:51:08,420
Stu, stay back!

904
00:51:12,063 --> 00:51:13,795
Someone is at the door.

905
00:51:14,226 --> 00:51:17,109
I will, I will.

906
00:51:23,385 --> 00:51:24,666
Oh, shit.

907
00:51:26,608 --> 00:51:28,470
- Good evening, sir.
- Hello, police.

908
00:51:28,670 --> 00:51:31,193
Hi, I'm Officer O'Leary.
This is Officer Minogue.

909
00:51:31,194 --> 00:51:32,254
We're just responding
to a complaint

910
00:51:32,379 --> 00:51:33,881
of a possible
forced entry

911
00:51:34,006 --> 00:51:36,383
and also a large
amount of screams.

912
00:51:36,508 --> 00:51:37,885
We were wondering if maybe
we could enter,

913
00:51:38,010 --> 00:51:38,886
just to give us a
take a look around.

914
00:51:39,661 --> 00:51:40,742
Okay.

915
00:51:41,022 --> 00:51:43,245
What's up with the friend?
Why the camera?

916
00:51:43,307 --> 00:51:45,350
Yes, we are here because
there was a phone call,

917
00:51:45,475 --> 00:51:48,228
of a citizen, about a
small disturbance.

918
00:51:48,353 --> 00:51:50,063
Hm, some loud noises.

919
00:51:50,189 --> 00:51:51,857
Possibly an entry
forced, right?

920
00:51:51,982 --> 00:51:53,901
And also, maybe a little
of smoke coming out.

921
00:51:54,026 --> 00:51:55,360
So we are just
checking the scene

922
00:51:55,485 --> 00:51:58,197
to make sure everything is ok,
you know, correct, as they say.

923
00:51:58,322 --> 00:52:00,866
And making sure that there is no
no one in danger, that kind of thing.

924
00:52:00,991 --> 00:52:02,242
We can go up and take a look
take a look up there,

925
00:52:02,367 --> 00:52:04,119
if that's ok with you.

926
00:52:04,286 --> 00:52:06,428
- It's part of the job. Yes.
- Come on friend, you show the way.

927
00:52:07,809 --> 00:52:08,830
Okay.

928
00:52:08,874 --> 00:52:10,375
The smell is a little strange
here too, friend.

929
00:52:10,500 --> 00:52:12,502
- Yes.
- And why is that?

930
00:52:14,206 --> 00:52:15,717
Barbecue.

931
00:52:18,690 --> 00:52:22,274
You won't notice
nothing out of the ordinary.

932
00:52:22,744 --> 00:52:24,626
No, we certainly hope
that no. Let's just...

933
00:52:24,666 --> 00:52:26,108
Let's just keep going.

934
00:52:26,128 --> 00:52:28,560
- Hello, guys! How are you?
- Hello.

935
00:52:28,580 --> 00:52:29,581
Hello, friends!

936
00:52:29,651 --> 00:52:32,374
This is the room where
Did we hear all that shouting?

937
00:52:32,574 --> 00:52:33,585
That was me.

938
00:52:33,705 --> 00:52:35,747
Yes, okay. We have some
complaints, ok?

939
00:52:35,947 --> 00:52:37,929
Some people are not very
happy with the volume of noise here.

940
00:52:38,129 --> 00:52:38,370
Okay.

941
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:40,061
- The neighbors?
- You can't keep shouting...

942
00:52:40,752 --> 00:52:42,224
You have neighbors on both sides.

943
00:52:42,324 --> 00:52:43,185
I'm very nervous.

944
00:52:43,385 --> 00:52:45,387
I hypnotized those police officers.

945
00:52:45,447 --> 00:52:48,820
I'm not a great hypnotist, they
They can come out of the trance at any time.

946
00:52:48,980 --> 00:52:51,473
I really hope these guys
Don't kill these police officers,

947
00:52:51,533 --> 00:52:53,255
because this means that
more police would come.

948
00:52:53,460 --> 00:52:54,920
Possibly even Christians,

949
00:52:55,045 --> 00:52:57,547
which is the last thing that
we need in this house.

950
00:52:57,673 --> 00:52:59,299
I can see that you
they are having fun.

951
00:52:59,424 --> 00:53:01,677
End of the day, we have to
keep order, right?

952
00:53:04,396 --> 00:53:05,687
Do you see what I
do I see?

953
00:53:05,787 --> 00:53:06,938
What is it, Minogue?

954
00:53:08,110 --> 00:53:09,421
Are you kidding?

955
00:53:10,652 --> 00:53:12,104
Does not have a detector
of smoke in sight.

956
00:53:12,214 --> 00:53:13,515
Without detector
smoke, friend?

957
00:53:13,935 --> 00:53:15,237
Rule number one:

958
00:53:15,467 --> 00:53:16,838
Smoke detectors.

959
00:53:17,109 --> 00:53:17,499
Okay.

960
00:53:17,699 --> 00:53:20,142
Rule number 2: Maybe don't
so many barbecues in here.

961
00:53:20,522 --> 00:53:21,723
- Resolved, friends.
- Okay.

962
00:53:22,244 --> 00:53:24,606
The barbecue smells really strong
down here, right?

963
00:53:24,806 --> 00:53:25,822
- What kind of marinade?
- Yes!

964
00:53:26,022 --> 00:53:27,038
Who is this guy?

965
00:53:27,829 --> 00:53:28,610
Hmm...

966
00:53:28,810 --> 00:53:31,733
It's a friend who came
for our party.

967
00:53:31,933 --> 00:53:32,874
Friend, are you okay?

968
00:53:33,074 --> 00:53:34,576
- He's drunk.
- That's what I thought.

969
00:53:34,776 --> 00:53:35,737
- Drunk guy.
- Yes.

970
00:53:35,937 --> 00:53:38,190
You can't just
Leave it down here like this, okay?

971
00:53:38,330 --> 00:53:39,661
This guy is not
having fun.

972
00:53:39,861 --> 00:53:41,593
He will feel terrible
tomorrow morning.

973
00:53:41,793 --> 00:53:43,525
Well your soul is
in hell, then...

974
00:53:43,526 --> 00:53:44,511
Well I don't know where
his soul is,

975
00:53:44,636 --> 00:53:46,263
but all I'm saying is:
"Where's his blanket?"

976
00:53:46,768 --> 00:53:48,530
It has a concrete slab
huge on top of him.

977
00:53:48,710 --> 00:53:51,123
- You could move it.
- This is certainly not comfortable.

978
00:53:51,323 --> 00:53:53,125
- Anything else here, Minogue?
- No, I think I've seen enough.

979
00:53:53,615 --> 00:53:54,746
- Okay.
- Wait a minute.

980
00:53:55,447 --> 00:53:56,788
What do we have here?

981
00:53:58,620 --> 00:53:59,891
- What is that?
- That?

982
00:54:00,202 --> 00:54:02,083
- Oh, that?
- You're seeing this as much as I am.

983
00:54:02,354 --> 00:54:03,485
Sticker, friend.

984
00:54:03,595 --> 00:54:05,026
This is flammable.

985
00:54:05,207 --> 00:54:06,818
And you have a lamp
on top of that.

986
00:54:06,948 --> 00:54:08,750
Directly below the
power supply.

987
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:10,707
- This is really bad, guys!
- It's very bad.

988
00:54:10,907 --> 00:54:12,774
And again, there is no
smoke detectors?

989
00:54:12,824 --> 00:54:14,846
- No.
- Yes, there is.

990
00:54:14,886 --> 00:54:16,988
- Yes, there is.
- I see them, yes. That is good.

991
00:54:17,038 --> 00:54:18,160
Many things to
think, guys.

992
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:20,692
- Yes, a lot to think about.
- At the next apartment meeting, yes.

993
00:54:20,782 --> 00:54:22,664
Good thinking, just talk

994
00:54:22,684 --> 00:54:24,856
a little about the subject.
- Okay.

995
00:54:25,076 --> 00:54:27,199
- Okay, they have a very good point there.
- Wait!

996
00:54:27,399 --> 00:54:28,400
Let's kill them.

997
00:54:28,700 --> 00:54:30,772
Well, let's see what others
safety tips they have

998
00:54:30,972 --> 00:54:33,044
and then maybe we'll kill them.
- Yes.

999
00:54:42,104 --> 00:54:44,005
I put it in session,

1000
00:54:44,126 --> 00:54:45,587
this trial of Nick,

1001
00:54:45,727 --> 00:54:47,008
from Wellington.

1002
00:54:52,124 --> 00:54:53,845
Read the charges.

1003
00:54:54,306 --> 00:54:56,168
"Issues we have with Nick."

1004
00:54:57,084 --> 00:55:00,504
Number one: You brought
a human for our home,

1005
00:55:00,629 --> 00:55:02,589
what is unacceptable
in the world of vampires.

1006
00:55:02,714 --> 00:55:04,883
- Stu. Stu is cool, though.
- Yes, Stu is cool!

1007
00:55:05,008 --> 00:55:07,803
So I think
we're going to scratch this one

1008
00:55:12,614 --> 00:55:14,306
- Thanks Stu.
- Thanks Stu.

1009
00:55:14,326 --> 00:55:15,107
So...

1010
00:55:15,297 --> 00:55:16,638
the new number one:

1011
00:55:16,738 --> 00:55:19,621
Nick has been telling people
that he is a vampire.

1012
00:55:19,771 --> 00:55:22,574
This, in turn, resulted...

1013
00:55:22,824 --> 00:55:26,087
on the unwanted visit of
a vampire hunter.

1014
00:55:26,118 --> 00:55:27,469
Crime number two:

1015
00:55:27,669 --> 00:55:29,671
This one is pretty big, Nick.

1016
00:55:29,961 --> 00:55:32,574
The vampire hunter
who killed Petyr.

1017
00:55:33,605 --> 00:55:36,858
This, in fact, should have...
should have been crime number one,

1018
00:55:37,058 --> 00:55:38,860
but we wanted to build
until you get to that.

1019
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:40,142
Number three:

1020
00:55:40,202 --> 00:55:43,795
Deacon doesn't like you
wear the same jacket as him.

1021
00:55:43,955 --> 00:55:47,149
And he would like you to find
your own original style.

1022
00:55:47,939 --> 00:55:49,761
For these crimes, which we,

1023
00:55:49,961 --> 00:55:53,365
the Vampire Council,
we consider him guilty,

1024
00:55:53,515 --> 00:55:55,697
you should be banned
from our apartment

1025
00:55:55,887 --> 00:55:57,259
indefinitely.

1026
00:55:57,509 --> 00:55:59,351
- Indefinitely.
- Indefinitely.

1027
00:55:59,551 --> 00:56:00,302
So can I come back one day?

1028
00:56:00,422 --> 00:56:03,825
No, no, indefinitely
It means there is no end.

1029
00:56:03,975 --> 00:56:04,886
I thought it was like...

1030
00:56:05,086 --> 00:56:07,919
"undefined" means not
It's a definitive thing.

1031
00:56:08,119 --> 00:56:09,481
- It can be changed.
- Yes, but it's a long time.

1032
00:56:09,511 --> 00:56:10,992
Could it be tomorrow or could it be
be in 6 months.

1033
00:56:11,012 --> 00:56:12,564
- No!
- No, it's not tomorrow!

1034
00:56:12,764 --> 00:56:14,376
- It's at least 6 months.
- Forget it, you're banned!

1035
00:56:14,406 --> 00:56:15,097
You are banned.

1036
00:56:15,297 --> 00:56:17,539
But Stu, you can visit if you want.

1037
00:56:17,739 --> 00:56:18,640
Thanks.

1038
00:56:19,321 --> 00:56:20,852
For your crimes...

1039
00:56:21,183 --> 00:56:22,964
you will suffer...

1040
00:56:23,205 --> 00:56:24,291
the procession...

1041
00:56:24,491 --> 00:56:25,577
of shame.

1042
00:56:25,747 --> 00:56:28,850
I asked Nick, I asked them
not to apply this sentence.

1043
00:56:28,860 --> 00:56:30,212
We should do
this immediately,

1044
00:56:30,412 --> 00:56:32,414
- In my opinion.
- You didn't ask.

1045
00:56:32,674 --> 00:56:34,696
You didn't ask.
You said yes.

1046
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:40,182
- I didn't ask...
- Well, that's what's going to happen.

1047
00:56:40,382 --> 00:56:42,184
But I still think
It's very extreme.

1048
00:56:42,964 --> 00:56:45,387
Let's do the procession
of shame.

1049
00:56:45,557 --> 00:56:46,378
Now.

1050
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:50,236
- Shame.
- Shame!

1051
00:56:50,436 --> 00:56:51,873
Shame. Shame. Shame!

1052
00:56:52,073 --> 00:56:52,754
Shame!

1053
00:56:52,864 --> 00:56:54,146
- Shame.
- Bad vampire!

1054
00:56:54,346 --> 00:56:55,127
Shame.

1055
00:56:56,738 --> 00:56:57,959
Shall we go, Stu?

1056
00:57:03,305 --> 00:57:04,806
Bye, Stu.

1057
00:57:21,323 --> 00:57:22,764
That was a shame.

1058
00:57:41,543 --> 00:57:46,047
Several months later

1059
00:57:46,678 --> 00:57:49,811
So today we have an invitation

1060
00:57:50,362 --> 00:57:52,894
for the biggest event of the year.

1061
00:57:53,094 --> 00:57:54,896
Breaking and opening.

1062
00:57:55,317 --> 00:57:56,828
They burned the edges.

1063
00:57:57,028 --> 00:58:00,342
- It's like a treasure map, or something.
- It looks very authentic, doesn't it?

1064
00:58:00,962 --> 00:58:02,534
'Dear deceased...'

1065
00:58:02,884 --> 00:58:04,126
It's us.

1066
00:58:04,756 --> 00:58:08,200
"The Wellington Vampire Association,
together with

1067
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,202
the Lower Hutt Vampire-Witch Club

1068
00:58:10,402 --> 00:58:13,025
and the Karori Zombie Society

1069
00:58:13,225 --> 00:58:19,951
invites you to participate in 'O Profano
Masked", on the night of June 6,

1070
00:58:20,212 --> 00:58:23,205
starting at 6 p.m.

1071
00:58:24,336 --> 00:58:26,348
- 666...
- Oh, yes...

1072
00:58:26,548 --> 00:58:31,173
"The Masked Profane" is great for
Wellington's undead community.

1073
00:58:31,183 --> 00:58:37,329
There are zombies there. Vampires, Banshees,
all dancing together.

1074
00:58:37,459 --> 00:58:39,050
It is always very important
for me.

1075
00:58:39,531 --> 00:58:40,082
I love it.

1076
00:58:40,282 --> 00:58:43,845
One year I went to
"Masked Profane" dressed as

1077
00:58:43,865 --> 00:58:47,429
Whoopi Goldberg, from "Change of Habit 1"...

1078
00:58:47,599 --> 00:58:50,532
and "Change of Habit 2 - Back to Habit".

1079
00:58:50,672 --> 00:58:54,045
It didn't go down so well because
she was a nun.

1080
00:58:55,517 --> 00:58:57,559
Vampires don't like nuns.

1081
00:58:57,779 --> 00:59:00,452
Of course, the big business of
"Unholy Masked"

1082
00:59:00,652 --> 00:59:03,185
is that every year they announce
the guest of honor.

1083
00:59:03,385 --> 00:59:04,987
And...hmm...

1084
00:59:05,187 --> 00:59:07,629
I don't know if I should
I'm saying this, but...

1085
00:59:08,350 --> 00:59:09,701
I heard a little rumor

1086
00:59:09,901 --> 00:59:12,944
that the guest of
this year's honor...

1087
00:59:13,935 --> 00:59:15,867
it could be me.

1088
00:59:16,298 --> 00:59:17,769
The location...

1089
00:59:18,079 --> 00:59:20,372
- Oh, yes, where is it?
- Oh, the location?

1090
00:59:20,392 --> 00:59:21,753
The Cathedral of Despair.

1091
00:59:21,783 --> 00:59:24,166
And the guest
of honor will be...

1092
00:59:27,639 --> 00:59:29,591
Who is it?
Show me.

1093
00:59:38,540 --> 00:59:39,711
Okay.

1094
00:59:40,422 --> 00:59:41,373
Okay.

1095
00:59:42,164 --> 00:59:45,307
- Okay?
- Okay. Okay, fine. All good.

1096
00:59:50,251 --> 00:59:57,759
Vladislav only had one
reaction to information

1097
00:59:57,884 --> 01:00:00,387
that the guest
of honor will be...

1098
01:00:00,512 --> 01:00:02,138
"The Beast."

1099
01:00:05,387 --> 01:00:07,829
The darkest part
of my mind

1100
01:00:08,029 --> 01:00:09,631
is reserved for "The Beast".

1101
01:00:09,831 --> 01:00:11,833
We can tell you one thing,
or two, about "The Beast".

1102
01:00:12,033 --> 01:00:14,746
You must pray that
you never see "The Beast".

1103
01:00:14,946 --> 01:00:16,348
This one is called "The Beast".

1104
01:00:16,548 --> 01:00:19,236
And I said, "Take your hands off
my balls, Beast!"

1105
01:00:19,436 --> 01:00:22,124
He might have told you
some stories about

1106
01:00:22,324 --> 01:00:23,855
your great battle
against "The Beast".

1107
01:00:24,055 --> 01:00:26,248
Yes. "Oh, I fought against
'The Beast' on a cliff."

1108
01:00:26,338 --> 01:00:28,910
"Oh... I fought
'The Beast' in a swamp."

1109
01:00:29,311 --> 01:00:33,115
I once fought "The Beast"
in the bathroom of a night club.

1110
01:00:33,675 --> 01:00:34,896
Difficult battle.

1111
01:00:35,096 --> 01:00:37,889
I hope you
never see "The Beast".

1112
01:00:38,930 --> 01:00:40,772
"The Beast".

1113
01:00:49,771 --> 01:00:51,753
You can't go to
dance like Blade.

1114
01:00:51,803 --> 01:00:53,014
He is a hunter
of vampires.

1115
01:00:53,084 --> 01:00:55,537
Yes, but vampires
love Wesley Snipes.

1116
01:00:55,737 --> 01:00:57,139
No. It is inappropriate.

1117
01:00:57,189 --> 01:00:59,011
Okay, Vlad? The pants
green riding,

1118
01:00:59,211 --> 01:01:01,383
or the black leather one
with the dragon belt?

1119
01:01:01,513 --> 01:01:03,885
- We're having a little crisis here.
- Just wear the pants you're going to wear...

1120
01:01:04,085 --> 01:01:05,637
- What pants do you want to wear?
- Just look at the pants, Vlad!

1121
01:01:05,837 --> 01:01:06,338
Look at the pants!

1122
01:01:06,628 --> 01:01:07,929
They're just pants!

1123
01:01:07,949 --> 01:01:09,741
- Damn, man!
- Holy crap!

1124
01:01:10,182 --> 01:01:11,493
Oh, you look horrible!

1125
01:01:11,633 --> 01:01:13,024
The black pants.

1126
01:01:13,105 --> 01:01:14,356
Thanks.
Get dressed!

1127
01:01:14,556 --> 01:01:16,838
Actually, I don't know
if I'm really into it.

1128
01:01:16,839 --> 01:01:19,340
You don't look so good, but
if you eat someone on the way

1129
01:01:19,466 --> 01:01:20,383
and rejuvenate a little....

1130
01:01:20,508 --> 01:01:22,594
You could use a
mask, or something like that.

1131
01:01:23,024 --> 01:01:26,248
Just leave me with my
dark auctions on the internet!

1132
01:01:26,318 --> 01:01:27,469
What are you in
bidding?

1133
01:01:27,859 --> 01:01:29,541
I'm bidding
on a table.

1134
01:01:29,741 --> 01:01:31,743
- Are you coming or not?
- No.

1135
01:01:31,873 --> 01:01:34,126
I'm going to change. We are
leaving in 10 minutes.

1136
01:01:34,296 --> 01:01:36,238
Have fun!

1137
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:41,843
The Cathedral of Despair

1138
01:01:47,577 --> 01:01:49,078
Hello!

1139
01:01:52,834 --> 01:01:56,928
We tend to do this often
you know, not counting that kind of thing.

1140
01:01:57,068 --> 01:01:59,511
Which is really annoying.

1141
01:01:59,711 --> 01:02:02,154
It's hard to reach someone like that...

1142
01:02:02,224 --> 01:02:03,455
chase people.

1143
01:02:03,655 --> 01:02:05,958
Can I present...

1144
01:02:06,158 --> 01:02:09,141
- Gary and Alicia.
- Hi, how are you?

1145
01:02:09,341 --> 01:02:10,112
Hello.

1146
01:02:10,272 --> 01:02:14,005
- Hello.
- Less moaning. Less moaning, guys!

1147
01:02:15,397 --> 01:02:17,719
So we're at the dance
"The Masked Profane".

1148
01:02:17,979 --> 01:02:19,131
It's incredible.

1149
01:02:19,431 --> 01:02:20,842
This is my mask.

1150
01:02:21,563 --> 01:02:23,515
Which I made for the occasion.

1151
01:02:24,266 --> 01:02:25,577
Hey!

1152
01:02:25,877 --> 01:02:27,930
-Jackie.
- Yes!

1153
01:02:28,130 --> 01:02:30,352
- This party is for the undead.
- Yes, I'm a vampire.

1154
01:02:30,353 --> 01:02:31,663
- You will have your...
- I'm a vampire.

1155
01:02:31,788 --> 01:02:33,706
I'm a vampire!

1156
01:02:33,995 --> 01:02:34,816
- Excellent.
- Yes, yes.

1157
01:02:35,016 --> 01:02:37,409
- So who bit you?
- Oh, Nick.

1158
01:02:37,999 --> 01:02:39,561
- Oh, cool!
- Yes.

1159
01:02:39,761 --> 01:02:40,522
Okay.

1160
01:02:40,622 --> 01:02:41,723
Dean!

1161
01:02:43,967 --> 01:02:47,637
That was very rude, because
she was my maid.

1162
01:02:47,699 --> 01:02:49,471
She was a maid
quite useless.

1163
01:02:49,671 --> 01:02:52,244
- I don't...
- Yes, but still, I would have appreciated...

1164
01:02:52,444 --> 01:02:53,995
if you had asked.

1165
01:02:54,195 --> 01:02:55,287
How is Stu?

1166
01:02:55,357 --> 01:02:56,558
He's fine.
He's here.

1167
01:02:56,758 --> 01:02:58,760
- Oh, is he here?
- Stu! Stu!

1168
01:02:59,911 --> 01:03:01,025
- Hi, hi!
- How are you doing?

1169
01:03:01,150 --> 01:03:02,986
- Good to see you.
- Group hug.

1170
01:03:03,111 --> 01:03:03,820
Yes.

1171
01:03:03,825 --> 01:03:06,898
Someone looked at you like
if I wanted to devour you whole?

1172
01:03:07,109 --> 01:03:08,520
Oh, no...

1173
01:03:08,720 --> 01:03:10,722
Can you hear me
in the back?

1174
01:03:10,762 --> 01:03:13,785
On behalf of the Society of
Wellington Vampires,

1175
01:03:14,106 --> 01:03:17,859
of the Vampire-Witches Club
from Lower Hutt,

1176
01:03:18,059 --> 01:03:22,794
and the Karori Zombie Society, we wish
welcome everyone tonight.

1177
01:03:22,795 --> 01:03:25,508
This year we are giving away
a package of live meat

1178
01:03:25,633 --> 01:03:28,678
You can check the prize
here on my left.

1179
01:03:29,030 --> 01:03:30,172
It's a wonderful prize.

1180
01:03:30,372 --> 01:03:34,946
Coupons cost 10 dollars each.
or 45 dollars for 5 coupons.

1181
01:03:35,287 --> 01:03:38,860
Now, without further ado,
It's a great pleasure

1182
01:03:38,950 --> 01:03:42,354
introduce you to the guest
of honor this year

1183
01:03:42,474 --> 01:03:44,866
Pauline Ivanovich!

1184
01:03:46,458 --> 01:03:47,659
Thanks!

1185
01:03:50,812 --> 01:03:52,274
This is "The Beast".

1186
01:03:52,474 --> 01:03:53,115
Thanks!

1187
01:03:53,145 --> 01:03:57,509
"The Beast" is the name I give
my ex-girlfriend, Pauline.

1188
01:03:57,659 --> 01:03:59,551
She prefers Pauline.

1189
01:03:59,709 --> 01:04:02,295
We had a relationship
very intense.

1190
01:04:02,420 --> 01:04:05,882
We were very
sexually explosive.

1191
01:04:06,248 --> 01:04:11,423
The last time I saw her, she
impaled me and called me an asshole.

1192
01:04:11,623 --> 01:04:12,494
She said...

1193
01:04:12,804 --> 01:04:15,437
all kinds of things
that really hurt me.

1194
01:04:15,637 --> 01:04:19,261
And all this while I was
impaled on a lamp post.

1195
01:04:19,541 --> 01:04:24,776
Well, guys, I'll circle,
and I really hope that...

1196
01:04:25,337 --> 01:04:27,469
you can get to know...

1197
01:04:27,929 --> 01:04:29,541
all of you.

1198
01:04:45,267 --> 01:04:46,068
Hello.

1199
01:04:46,172 --> 01:04:47,465
This is the new guy.

1200
01:04:47,590 --> 01:04:50,301
Do you know which type
a vampire he is...

1201
01:04:50,426 --> 01:04:52,494
- if he is a vampire?
- Did you see his face?

1202
01:04:56,538 --> 01:04:58,665
- Hello!
- Hi how are you?

1203
01:04:58,865 --> 01:05:00,829
- This is Deacon.
- Hello, Deacon.

1204
01:05:01,029 --> 01:05:02,994
- This is Stu, our friend.
- Good morning, Stu.

1205
01:05:03,094 --> 01:05:04,406
- How are you, friend?
- Good.

1206
01:05:04,606 --> 01:05:05,387
Hi. Stu.

1207
01:05:05,527 --> 01:05:07,699
You have good hands
hot, Stu.

1208
01:05:07,839 --> 01:05:09,531
Are you a demon?

1209
01:05:09,771 --> 01:05:12,774
- No, he's not a demon!
- I am a software analyst.

1210
01:05:12,974 --> 01:05:15,497
- Stu, Stu, Stu...
- A wizard? You are a wizard!

1211
01:05:15,697 --> 01:05:17,369
Go dance with
anyone.

1212
01:05:17,569 --> 01:05:19,041
- Of course.
- Okay, feel free.

1213
01:05:19,241 --> 01:05:24,065
I like Stu. He's not a vampire.
So what is he? A zombie?

1214
01:05:24,146 --> 01:05:25,437
- Is he a wizard?
- He's not...

1215
01:05:25,637 --> 01:05:29,341
He is neither,
He's more like a human.

1216
01:05:31,163 --> 01:05:33,765
Excuse me, excuse me.
Hey! Hey Nick!

1217
01:05:33,835 --> 01:05:35,457
Hmm, Nick...

1218
01:05:35,877 --> 01:05:39,040
Do you mind if
Stu is murdered?

1219
01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:40,652
I wouldn't feel
okay with that.

1220
01:05:40,852 --> 01:05:45,307
Can I just ask,
you know...

1221
01:05:45,507 --> 01:05:46,808
- A personal question?
- Of course.

1222
01:05:47,008 --> 01:05:50,101
You are...

1223
01:05:51,363 --> 01:05:54,356
you are, you are,
Are you a deceased?

1224
01:05:54,976 --> 01:05:56,678
Hmm...

1225
01:05:57,589 --> 01:06:00,782
If anyone was going to eat it, it would be us.
But we have already passed that phase.

1226
01:06:00,982 --> 01:06:02,344
They can simply
fuck off!

1227
01:06:02,457 --> 01:06:04,208
Nick!
This is your fault, okay?

1228
01:06:04,333 --> 01:06:07,462
You brought a human to
this nest of vampires.

1229
01:06:07,587 --> 01:06:09,130
This isn't helping.
Yes, you brought it.

1230
01:06:09,255 --> 01:06:10,131
My guest.

1231
01:06:10,256 --> 01:06:12,133
Lovely talking to you.
I have to get out now.

1232
01:06:12,534 --> 01:06:13,685
See you later.

1233
01:06:18,660 --> 01:06:21,923
As soon as a vampire gives a
bite, it becomes crazy!

1234
01:06:22,123 --> 01:06:23,155
- Crazy!
- We have to get him out of here.

1235
01:06:23,355 --> 01:06:25,096
Okay, follow me, follow me.

1236
01:06:25,127 --> 01:06:27,769
Excuse me!
Sorry, guys!

1237
01:06:28,029 --> 01:06:28,890
Okay, Stu.

1238
01:06:29,090 --> 01:06:31,463
Put this on your
red face.

1239
01:06:31,793 --> 01:06:33,735
- Just going outside, smoke a cigarette.
- Oh, hey!

1240
01:06:33,935 --> 01:06:35,737
- Okay, not that way.
- This way.

1241
01:06:35,937 --> 01:06:37,739
- This way.
- Is there another way?

1242
01:06:39,821 --> 01:06:42,214
- Stay away from vampires.
- Guys...

1243
01:06:42,414 --> 01:06:43,245
Excuse me, guys!

1244
01:06:43,445 --> 01:06:45,727
Can I have your attention,
please?

1245
01:06:46,538 --> 01:06:51,473
Some of the vampires forgot
the rules of the "Masked Profane".

1246
01:06:51,673 --> 01:06:53,475
They brought a human.

1247
01:06:53,955 --> 01:06:58,730
And they won't let us
make a feast of it.

1248
01:07:00,081 --> 01:07:01,873
This was a total misunderstanding.

1249
01:07:01,974 --> 01:07:03,309
It was in the invitation --

1250
01:07:03,434 --> 01:07:05,311
And that is actually your fault!

1251
01:07:05,436 --> 01:07:07,730
The invitation said:
"another companion",

1252
01:07:07,855 --> 01:07:10,858
but did not specify
if it could be a human,

1253
01:07:10,983 --> 01:07:12,359
- Or it could be a werewolf.
- Your administration is rubbish!

1254
01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:14,946
Yes, but he could be a hunter
of vampires, as far as we know.

1255
01:07:15,071 --> 01:07:16,614
He may be sending messages from
text, to your friends, saying:

1256
01:07:16,739 --> 01:07:18,032
"I'm with them all
in one place"

1257
01:07:18,157 --> 01:07:20,368
Come here! We will do
a vampire barbecue!"

1258
01:07:20,722 --> 01:07:22,384
Well, he doesn't...
he won't do it.

1259
01:07:22,684 --> 01:07:23,645
How will we know?

1260
01:07:23,845 --> 01:07:25,437
Look at him! He is using
a bow tie!

1261
01:07:25,637 --> 01:07:26,428
Stu, tell them
what you do.

1262
01:07:26,628 --> 01:07:29,070
Come on Stu! Say what
you do. Let's go.

1263
01:07:29,270 --> 01:07:30,442
Tell them what
you do, Stu.

1264
01:07:30,632 --> 01:07:32,317
- Hi, my name is Stu...
- Don't screw it up, man.

1265
01:07:32,318 --> 01:07:33,805
- I can't hear Stu.
- Higher, higher!

1266
01:07:34,005 --> 01:07:35,421
Hi, my name is Stu,
I work in...

1267
01:07:35,621 --> 01:07:36,838
- I can't hear...
- Louder.

1268
01:07:37,038 --> 01:07:38,810
Stu, they can't hear you.
They can't hear you.

1269
01:07:38,860 --> 01:07:40,972
Hello, my name is Stu! I am
a software analyst.

1270
01:07:41,097 --> 01:07:43,744
I work for a company
geographic information systems.

1271
01:07:43,745 --> 01:07:45,177
Sorry, what is this?

1272
01:07:45,184 --> 01:07:47,228
I work for a
company that...

1273
01:07:47,353 --> 01:07:49,188
Basically, we get, like,
service requirements

1274
01:07:49,313 --> 01:07:50,565
coming from organizations.

1275
01:07:50,690 --> 01:07:53,025
And we analyze
these requirements,

1276
01:07:53,151 --> 01:07:56,195
and then we build the software
to meet those requirements.

1277
01:07:56,528 --> 01:07:58,600
He's a virgin!
He's a virgin!

1278
01:07:58,698 --> 01:08:00,867
I can smell it
of a virgin at a thousand paces.

1279
01:08:00,992 --> 01:08:03,828
Go ahead then! Stay away a thousand
steps and smell it yourself!

1280
01:08:05,247 --> 01:08:07,058
I can't
more to wait.

1281
01:08:09,917 --> 01:08:11,836
No!

1282
01:08:19,961 --> 01:08:22,093
No one will eat
no humans.

1283
01:08:22,393 --> 01:08:24,326
Who are you that
appeared out of nowhere?!

1284
01:08:24,327 --> 01:08:29,604
You forgot so quickly
from your ex-lover.

1285
01:08:31,939 --> 01:08:33,941
Georgie?

1286
01:08:34,066 --> 01:08:35,568
No. It's not Georgie.

1287
01:08:35,693 --> 01:08:38,070
It was, like, 5 years later.

1288
01:08:39,491 --> 01:08:40,962
Wait a minute.

1289
01:08:41,062 --> 01:08:43,993
- Just a moment.
- Viago!

1290
01:08:44,095 --> 01:08:46,518
No, I'm getting it,
It's coming out, I took it off...

1291
01:08:49,591 --> 01:08:50,902
Hello, Beast!

1292
01:08:51,102 --> 01:08:52,214
Hello, asshole!

1293
01:08:52,335 --> 01:08:55,796
- Hey, don't call me an asshole!
- Don't call me Beast!

1294
01:08:55,922 --> 01:08:57,798
- This is Vladislav.
- It's absolutely the same thing.

1295
01:08:57,924 --> 01:09:00,009
This is my ex-boyfriend.
The one who had sex with a witch.

1296
01:09:00,134 --> 01:09:02,970
All good. This is old stuff.
These are personal matters.

1297
01:09:03,095 --> 01:09:05,139
- Nice to meet you, asshole.
- This is my lover.

1298
01:09:05,367 --> 01:09:07,769
You will not feed on the blood
of the human known as Stu.

1299
01:09:07,969 --> 01:09:10,112
Listen asshole,
this is a human

1300
01:09:10,312 --> 01:09:12,454
and these are the rules. And what
these cameras do here?

1301
01:09:12,654 --> 01:09:14,456
One. And now another.
What is that?

1302
01:09:14,656 --> 01:09:16,262
We are doing
a documentary about...

1303
01:09:16,462 --> 01:09:17,869
This is a society
private secret, friend.

1304
01:09:18,069 --> 01:09:20,502
You don't take your damn
cameras anywhere.

1305
01:09:20,702 --> 01:09:23,269
You're not going to eat Stu, and you're not
will eat the camera operator.

1306
01:09:23,469 --> 01:09:26,037
- Maybe one of the camera operators...
- I'm bloody over here with you.

1307
01:09:26,237 --> 01:09:28,520
And all your friends back there,
who the hell wants them to be.

1308
01:09:28,720 --> 01:09:30,012
We are going to eat the human being.

1309
01:09:30,212 --> 01:09:32,083
And there's nothing you can
do about it, right?

1310
01:09:32,283 --> 01:09:32,894
Now get the fuck out!

1311
01:09:33,094 --> 01:09:34,516
And let my wife
do what you want.

1312
01:09:34,716 --> 01:09:36,478
Oh, there's nothing I
can do about it?

1313
01:09:36,678 --> 01:09:38,460
- That's right, friend.
- Well, how about that?

1314
01:09:39,611 --> 01:09:42,134
Diego, start
your head off.

1315
01:09:42,404 --> 01:09:43,705
What do you want?!

1316
01:09:44,116 --> 01:09:45,807
Vampire fight!

1317
01:09:46,538 --> 01:09:47,929
Catch him, Vladislav!

1318
01:10:01,383 --> 01:10:02,794
Rip your head off!

1319
01:10:02,994 --> 01:10:04,851
He's killing him!

1320
01:10:05,051 --> 01:10:06,708
It is forbidden for vampires...

1321
01:10:06,908 --> 01:10:08,490
kill other vampires.

1322
01:10:11,022 --> 01:10:13,175
What the fuck...

1323
01:10:14,516 --> 01:10:15,957
What?

1324
01:10:16,728 --> 01:10:19,481
Are you okay, love?
Get out!

1325
01:10:19,831 --> 01:10:21,723
We should go, Stu.

1326
01:10:22,675 --> 01:10:24,885
It was great to see you,
Pauline.

1327
01:10:25,011 --> 01:10:26,804
Asshole! Bastards!

1328
01:10:26,929 --> 01:10:28,597
Stu!

1329
01:10:28,723 --> 01:10:29,849
- He's a killer!
- That was great...

1330
01:10:29,974 --> 01:10:33,936
like the two of us, together, equally,
we destroyed that guy.

1331
01:10:34,061 --> 01:10:36,731
Yes yes. But it was more Stu
with that giant stake.

1332
01:10:36,856 --> 01:10:40,026
I hope this doesn't make things
between you and "The Beast".

1333
01:10:40,151 --> 01:10:43,112
No. I think it opened
new possibilities.

1334
01:10:43,295 --> 01:10:44,986
Oh no.

1335
01:10:45,347 --> 01:10:47,709
Here we go again.

1336
01:10:47,909 --> 01:10:49,711
Stu, Stu,
Stu, Stu!

1337
01:10:49,911 --> 01:10:51,573
Stu, Stu, Stu!

1338
01:10:51,773 --> 01:10:53,855
Stu, Stu,
Stu, stu...

1339
01:10:54,055 --> 01:10:57,048
- Stuuu... Stuuu...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop!

1340
01:10:57,248 --> 01:10:58,350
Listen!

1341
01:10:58,790 --> 01:10:59,991
Do you smell that smell?

1342
01:11:01,443 --> 01:11:02,864
This way.

1343
01:11:04,336 --> 01:11:05,597
Werewolves.

1344
01:11:06,248 --> 01:11:08,950
- Oh no.
- Look what the cat brought, huh?

1345
01:11:09,010 --> 01:11:11,633
- Get out. Keep walking.
We don't want any trouble tonight.

1346
01:11:11,833 --> 01:11:13,635
There won't be
confusion here.

1347
01:11:13,725 --> 01:11:15,216
Well let's keep
things like that.

1348
01:11:15,416 --> 01:11:16,908
Keep chaining yourselves!

1349
01:11:17,159 --> 01:11:18,910
Guys, where are your
shelter pants?

1350
01:11:19,110 --> 01:11:20,302
It was washing night.

1351
01:11:20,502 --> 01:11:22,764
My wife couldn't wash it,
because there was a lot of blood on his pants.

1352
01:11:22,964 --> 01:11:25,227
When your legs expand,
they grow inside the coat pants.

1353
01:11:25,427 --> 01:11:27,294
These jeans are going to rip
completely!

1354
01:11:27,494 --> 01:11:29,361
You will lose them all
your pants, boys!

1355
01:11:29,501 --> 01:11:31,112
Declan, that tree
It's very thin!

1356
01:11:31,312 --> 01:11:32,724
Look at her!
It looks like a twig!

1357
01:11:32,924 --> 01:11:35,307
Do you know how big it gets
when you transform!

1358
01:11:35,507 --> 01:11:37,309
This is the tree
wrong for you.

1359
01:11:37,819 --> 01:11:38,680
Anton, I have...

1360
01:11:38,880 --> 01:11:41,102
Oh no! You forgot
the combination.

1361
01:11:41,473 --> 01:11:43,195
Why are you using
a combination lock?

1362
01:11:43,395 --> 01:11:44,606
I lost my key
last time.

1363
01:11:44,716 --> 01:11:47,499
Okay, well, it's probably 4 zeros.
This is the factory setting, isn't it?

1364
01:11:47,699 --> 01:11:49,231
- Go to the fucking tree.
- Hey!

1365
01:11:49,431 --> 01:11:50,642
Werewolves, not "Xingaosomen".

1366
01:11:50,842 --> 01:11:52,644
Yes I know! But in the nights
of transformation,

1367
01:11:52,844 --> 01:11:54,846
It's okay, okay? I am
stressing me out.

1368
01:11:54,976 --> 01:11:56,018
I was just reminding you.

1369
01:11:56,218 --> 01:11:58,680
Stop talking and chain yourself,
you idiot!

1370
01:11:58,896 --> 01:11:59,980
Seriously, we are
transforming us.

1371
01:12:00,106 --> 01:12:01,315
All good.
We will continue walking.

1372
01:12:01,440 --> 01:12:04,151
- Yes, keep walking.
- By the way, I found this offensive!

1373
01:12:04,656 --> 01:12:05,657
Is that a fur coat?

1374
01:12:05,687 --> 01:12:07,048
Oh, for God's sake.

1375
01:12:07,219 --> 01:12:10,162
Don't look at the fur coat, guys.
Go back to your trees, okay?

1376
01:12:10,362 --> 01:12:11,823
- That's disgusting, man!
- You are wearing a fur coat!

1377
01:12:12,023 --> 01:12:12,854
Declan!

1378
01:12:13,054 --> 01:12:14,516
- Yes, but that's not real skin.
- Oh shit!

1379
01:12:16,758 --> 01:12:18,931
Seriously, get out of here!
Take your humans!

1380
01:12:19,131 --> 01:12:21,133
The guy with the bow tie,
he will be the first!

1381
01:12:22,494 --> 01:12:23,875
Get out of here!

1382
01:12:24,246 --> 01:12:26,928
Take off all the clothes you
want to keep it, guys!

1383
01:12:27,028 --> 01:12:28,870
Take off that military jacket,
you just bought it!

1384
01:12:32,324 --> 01:12:34,201
Take out that camera
of my face!

1385
01:12:34,401 --> 01:12:36,278
Boys, boys!
Come on, come on. Let's go!

1386
01:12:37,979 --> 01:12:39,381
Run, Stu, Run!

1387
01:12:42,134 --> 01:12:43,665
Come on, come on!

1388
01:12:48,950 --> 01:12:50,792
- They're coming, guys!
- Shit!

1389
01:12:51,153 --> 01:12:52,494
I caught one!

1390
01:13:10,492 --> 01:13:12,384
My leg!
My leg!

1391
01:13:17,379 --> 01:13:18,530
Oh, God!

1392
01:13:19,020 --> 01:13:20,952
Stu! Stu!

1393
01:13:21,152 --> 01:13:22,043
Stu!

1394
01:13:26,678 --> 01:13:27,549
Stu!

1395
01:13:29,010 --> 01:13:30,372
Get out!

1396
01:13:31,613 --> 01:13:33,275
Stu, are you okay?!

1397
01:13:34,146 --> 01:13:35,157
Stu!

1398
01:13:36,438 --> 01:13:37,349
Stu!

1399
01:13:38,540 --> 01:13:39,321
Get out!

1400
01:13:43,625 --> 01:13:44,806
Stay away from me!

1401
01:13:45,127 --> 01:13:46,528
Stay away from me!

1402
01:13:48,650 --> 01:13:50,562
You stinking idiots!

1403
01:13:55,877 --> 01:13:57,629
Stupid werewolves!

1404
01:13:57,879 --> 01:13:58,961
Look away, Nick!

1405
01:13:59,161 --> 01:14:01,163
- Don't look at the blood!
- Stu!

1406
01:14:01,353 --> 01:14:03,014
Stu!

1407
01:14:03,215 --> 01:14:05,907
He's actually a really nice guy!
Leave him alone!

1408
01:14:05,927 --> 01:14:06,758
It's too late for him!

1409
01:14:06,958 --> 01:14:09,151
- Don't look at the blood, Nick!
- Stu!

1410
01:14:21,113 --> 01:14:22,924
There he is.

1411
01:14:24,676 --> 01:14:27,719
He's probably still a
a little upset having watched

1412
01:14:27,919 --> 01:14:31,052
your best friend be
disemboweled by werewolves.

1413
01:14:33,185 --> 01:14:34,346
Nick!

1414
01:14:35,056 --> 01:14:36,318
I found you.

1415
01:14:41,483 --> 01:14:43,465
That was very
intense, huh?

1416
01:14:49,481 --> 01:14:52,274
But that's what happens
when you're a vampire.

1417
01:14:52,861 --> 01:14:55,906
You have to watch
everyone dies.

1418
01:14:57,349 --> 01:14:59,085
Your mother and father.

1419
01:14:59,285 --> 01:15:01,022
All your friends.

1420
01:15:01,263 --> 01:15:02,894
Sometimes brutally.

1421
01:15:05,447 --> 01:15:08,750
Like slipping and falling in
a giant stake.

1422
01:15:09,010 --> 01:15:10,622
Or fall asleep...

1423
01:15:10,892 --> 01:15:13,415
in a pile of autumn leaves,

1424
01:15:13,775 --> 01:15:17,499
and having some of them
blocking your windpipe.

1425
01:15:18,110 --> 01:15:20,682
Or commit one
simple mistake,

1426
01:15:21,143 --> 01:15:23,785
to make a
cookie mask,

1427
01:15:23,985 --> 01:15:25,787
and being attacked by ducks.

1428
01:15:26,037 --> 01:15:27,299
Geese.

1429
01:15:27,909 --> 01:15:29,331
Swans.

1430
01:15:29,961 --> 01:15:31,993
Or, simply,
die of old age.

1431
01:15:34,586 --> 01:15:37,058
But even the
old age is brutal.

1432
01:15:37,509 --> 01:15:39,131
See your friends...

1433
01:15:39,401 --> 01:15:40,362
getting older.

1434
01:15:40,632 --> 01:15:42,584
They can't piss.

1435
01:15:42,884 --> 01:15:46,468
And they say stupid things,
their brains fail,

1436
01:15:46,668 --> 01:15:48,470
and they can't
remember nothing anymore.

1437
01:15:50,592 --> 01:15:54,015
And then one day, they can't
don't even remember who you are.

1438
01:15:55,347 --> 01:15:57,489
And you wish that
they were dead.

1439
01:15:57,979 --> 01:15:59,921
And then they die.

1440
01:16:03,405 --> 01:16:04,186
No.

1441
01:16:04,386 --> 01:16:06,388
If I know Stu...

1442
01:16:07,038 --> 01:16:09,741
this was probably
the way he wanted to go.

1443
01:16:10,212 --> 01:16:12,774
Gutted by werewolves.

1444
01:16:13,645 --> 01:16:14,896
Blood and guts,

1445
01:16:15,096 --> 01:16:17,098
scattered throughout the trees.

1446
01:16:17,369 --> 01:16:19,821
His face shattered.

1447
01:16:29,551 --> 01:16:31,803
I hope I made you
feel better.

1448
01:16:38,100 --> 01:16:40,510
Oh well, from what we could
see and we were able to find out,

1449
01:16:40,511 --> 01:16:42,721
it seems there was a small
dog attack.

1450
01:16:42,846 --> 01:16:44,515
This is what happens,
when you have

1451
01:16:44,640 --> 01:16:47,393
dangerous dogs loose on the streets,
without tutors.

1452
01:16:47,518 --> 01:16:49,603
This is not good.

1453
01:16:49,728 --> 01:16:52,022
No.
It's not good at all.

1454
01:16:52,147 --> 01:16:54,274
There are nicer ways to
die than be torn apart

1455
01:16:54,400 --> 01:16:55,984
for what appears to have been
a pack of dogs,

1456
01:16:56,110 --> 01:16:57,945
- more than just one.
- That's what I would say.

1457
01:16:58,070 --> 01:16:59,988
These attacks have been happening
more and more frequently.

1458
01:17:00,432 --> 01:17:03,565
They are happening monthly,
and that's not good for anyone, okay?

1459
01:17:03,665 --> 01:17:05,767
Especially not for dogs.
Certainly not for the community.

1460
01:17:05,917 --> 01:17:07,649
I caught the bastard.

1461
01:17:07,729 --> 01:17:09,090
One of them here, huh?

1462
01:17:09,211 --> 01:17:10,702
That's what I'm talking about.
Look at him.

1463
01:17:10,902 --> 01:17:13,195
At the end of the day, this dog will
have to be sacrificed.

1464
01:17:13,355 --> 01:17:14,706
What a shame!

1465
01:17:16,248 --> 01:17:17,269
Look what you did.

1466
01:17:17,609 --> 01:17:18,350
Huh?

1467
01:17:18,507 --> 01:17:19,967
He sniffed again, didn't he?

1468
01:17:20,092 --> 01:17:22,177
He wants to go again.
He's not finished yet.

1469
01:17:47,759 --> 01:17:50,181
Wash me, please!

1470
01:17:51,253 --> 01:17:55,317
They say the hearts of
vampires are cold and dead.

1471
01:17:55,797 --> 01:17:57,889
Definitely dead.

1472
01:17:57,939 --> 01:18:01,123
- Goodbye Stu.
- He would have loved the scarf.

1473
01:18:01,323 --> 01:18:03,265
It's a lovely knit.

1474
01:18:03,795 --> 01:18:07,469
But I don't know. I think
I still feel things inside.

1475
01:18:11,483 --> 01:18:12,644
Dean!

1476
01:18:13,895 --> 01:18:15,036
Dean!

1477
01:18:15,147 --> 01:18:17,429
Deacon, wake up!
Wake up, hey!

1478
01:18:17,629 --> 01:18:21,002
You can't sleep here. The curtain
is open. And it's almost morning.

1479
01:18:21,092 --> 01:18:23,515
Do you want to become pork rinds?

1480
01:18:23,655 --> 01:18:26,518
You know, you have to think
a little about these things.

1481
01:18:26,718 --> 01:18:26,908
Okay.

1482
01:18:26,998 --> 01:18:28,990
- Sorry, Viago.
- Everything is fine.

1483
01:18:29,151 --> 01:18:31,092
- Goodnight! Okay.

1484
01:18:57,379 --> 01:19:00,842
Received at 4:20 AM:

1485
01:19:00,945 --> 01:19:04,424
Hello guys! This is Nick the Vampire!

1486
01:19:04,724 --> 01:19:08,639
Just a warning, I have
a big surprise...

1487
01:19:09,489 --> 01:19:12,542
It's going to leave everyone's mouth open, I think.

1488
01:19:23,815 --> 01:19:25,447
- Stu?!
- Hi, Deacon.

1489
01:19:25,767 --> 01:19:27,249
- Stu!
- How are you?

1490
01:19:28,059 --> 01:19:29,070
Good to see you.

1491
01:19:29,191 --> 01:19:29,912
Look at his face!

1492
01:19:30,112 --> 01:19:31,423
I saw them tear you to pieces.

1493
01:19:31,623 --> 01:19:32,934
- Look! He looks like Seal!
- Yes. Yes.

1494
01:19:33,475 --> 01:19:34,366
They didn't kill me.

1495
01:19:34,396 --> 01:19:36,638
- It looks cool.
- Thank you, thank you.

1496
01:19:36,748 --> 01:19:37,999
Discover some of the
our friends.

1497
01:19:38,390 --> 01:19:39,961
Anton, Deacon.

1498
01:19:40,602 --> 01:19:42,154
Hello Anton!

1499
01:19:45,947 --> 01:19:47,579
I must have passed out.

1500
01:19:47,779 --> 01:19:49,211
And then, I remember

1501
01:19:49,411 --> 01:19:50,852
- from an ambulance.
- He's going into shock.

1502
01:19:51,052 --> 01:19:52,634
O'Leary, O'Leary!

1503
01:19:52,834 --> 01:19:54,216
Yes, I'm coming!

1504
01:19:54,416 --> 01:19:56,698
- Okay! Calm down, friend.
- Calm down.

1505
01:20:00,162 --> 01:20:01,223
It seems like anger,
isn't that right?

1506
01:20:01,423 --> 01:20:04,266
And I don't know how long
later, but I woke up.

1507
01:20:04,706 --> 01:20:07,319
And it was daytime.

1508
01:20:09,446 --> 01:20:11,051
Reconstitution

1509
01:20:11,052 --> 01:20:28,851
{\a6} Reconstitution

1510
01:20:11,052 --> 01:20:12,954
And I couldn't find
my clothes.

1511
01:20:15,217 --> 01:20:17,149
These werewolves

1512
01:20:17,319 --> 01:20:18,450
One hour they found me.

1513
01:20:19,020 --> 01:20:20,242
They had a...

1514
01:20:20,442 --> 01:20:22,444
they lent me a pair of pants.

1515
01:20:23,515 --> 01:20:25,517
So yeah, these guys
come supporting me,

1516
01:20:25,767 --> 01:20:27,519
because I was
very confusing.

1517
01:20:29,411 --> 01:20:31,253
Yes, these are
the guys who

1518
01:20:31,513 --> 01:20:32,934
transformed me
into a werewolf.

1519
01:20:33,375 --> 01:20:34,826
You knitted your
own jacket?!?

1520
01:20:35,417 --> 01:20:36,728
- Yes.
- Oh, yeah?

1521
01:20:36,918 --> 01:20:38,780
- I knit.
- Is that the moon, or...

1522
01:20:39,040 --> 01:20:41,403
- Yes.
- Fortunately, we don't... you know!

1523
01:20:44,556 --> 01:20:45,797
Ah, this is a nice place.

1524
01:20:45,997 --> 01:20:48,790
Please don't lick anything or...

1525
01:20:48,990 --> 01:20:50,592
pee on things.

1526
01:20:50,792 --> 01:20:52,654
We were worried at first,
you know, we thought:

1527
01:20:52,854 --> 01:20:55,066
"Oh, they'll urinate on everything."

1528
01:20:55,297 --> 01:20:58,550
But they are really
polite and very clean.

1529
01:20:58,680 --> 01:21:01,103
Obviously, there was
werewolf smell,

1530
01:21:01,303 --> 01:21:04,381
that permeated the entire house
for the first half hour.

1531
01:21:04,581 --> 01:21:07,659
But we opened some windows
and the smell went away.

1532
01:21:07,859 --> 01:21:09,951
When Stu suggested
this idea, I thought:

1533
01:21:09,971 --> 01:21:10,572
"No way!"

1534
01:21:10,772 --> 01:21:13,465
You know, enter the lair
of vampires. This is ridiculous!

1535
01:21:13,665 --> 01:21:14,736
That's my hand.

1536
01:21:14,806 --> 01:21:16,488
But I thought:
"let's give it a chance."

1537
01:21:16,688 --> 01:21:18,860
You know, I'm the alpha male,
That's why I made the decision.

1538
01:21:19,090 --> 01:21:20,182
I am the alpha male.

1539
01:21:20,382 --> 01:21:22,684
- Yes.
- So, generally,

1540
01:21:22,734 --> 01:21:23,975
all the other guys follow me.

1541
01:21:24,175 --> 01:21:25,117
- To Stu!
- To Stu!

1542
01:21:25,207 --> 01:21:26,158
Thanks, guys!

1543
01:21:26,358 --> 01:21:27,959
What did you do to your face?

1544
01:21:28,130 --> 01:21:30,352
I was attacked by
some werewolves.

1545
01:21:30,412 --> 01:21:33,795
Oh, I met a werewolf.
He seemed like a very nice person.

1546
01:21:34,196 --> 01:21:36,168
So, Katherine is a
vampire now.

1547
01:21:36,368 --> 01:21:38,140
- Yes.
- We decided to stay together.

1548
01:21:38,340 --> 01:21:40,122
We just thought, "For the
hell with that", you know?

1549
01:21:40,322 --> 01:21:41,593
What do we have to lose?

1550
01:21:41,993 --> 01:21:44,746
I was sitting,
without doing anything,

1551
01:21:44,946 --> 01:21:47,499
he came floating to me,

1552
01:21:47,699 --> 01:21:50,392
and I recognized him.
It was wonderful.

1553
01:21:50,592 --> 01:21:52,394
- That was it.
- I bit you on the neck.

1554
01:21:53,105 --> 01:21:54,656
That's right.

1555
01:21:55,727 --> 01:21:57,839
And I don't care
of being a vampire.

1556
01:21:58,039 --> 01:21:59,841
I'm enjoying it.

1557
01:22:01,123 --> 01:22:03,585
Some people freak out
with the age difference.

1558
01:22:03,709 --> 01:22:06,461
They think, "What a
96 year old lady...

1559
01:22:06,586 --> 01:22:09,047
is doing with a guy
four times her age?”

1560
01:22:09,441 --> 01:22:12,083
- And, you know what, I don't care.
- It doesn't make any difference.

1561
01:22:12,283 --> 01:22:14,926
No! You can call me "papa-angel".
Who cares?

1562
01:22:15,076 --> 01:22:18,079
I decided to bite her and we go
stay together forever.

1563
01:22:18,260 --> 01:22:19,701
- Wonderful.
- Yes.

1564
01:22:23,048 --> 01:22:27,160
Subtitles: dannyfields (from the Brazilian Internet)

1565
01:22:35,557 --> 01:22:39,281
Pauline and I are trying
come back again.

1566
01:22:39,501 --> 01:22:42,944
But it didn't take long to
remember why we...

1567
01:22:43,144 --> 01:22:44,946
we finished the other time.

1568
01:22:45,988 --> 01:22:47,325
Beast!

1569
01:22:47,329 --> 01:22:48,525
Asshole!

1570
01:22:49,541 --> 01:22:50,532
Starting with our room.

1571
01:22:50,732 --> 01:22:53,755
I need it completely boarded up
or somehow completely dark.

1572
01:22:53,955 --> 01:22:55,197
My husband is my family member.

1573
01:22:55,397 --> 01:22:58,270
So, there was a
change in dynamics.

1574
01:22:58,290 --> 01:23:01,443
You need to buy a Bedazzler.
Write this down. Like this: B-E-D...

1575
01:23:01,643 --> 01:23:04,246
I feel like now I am who
I really needed to be.

1576
01:23:04,786 --> 01:23:06,708
- I love you.
- I love you too.

1577
01:23:06,768 --> 01:23:07,629
Excellent.

1578
01:23:08,680 --> 01:23:10,112
But I am
your Master.

1579
01:23:10,232 --> 01:23:11,983
- Okay?
- Yes.

1580
01:23:12,854 --> 01:23:15,107
Yes, these guys have to laugh
of my jokes. Right, guys?

1581
01:23:15,267 --> 01:23:16,738
Yes!

1582
01:23:17,369 --> 01:23:18,170
That's a good one.

1583
01:23:18,370 --> 01:23:20,522
I always look around at myself
make sure everyone is laughing.

1584
01:23:20,722 --> 01:23:22,874
Like, if I see that one of them
not laughing enough, I say:

1585
01:23:23,074 --> 01:23:25,016
'Hey, are you laughing?"
and I often test you, right?

1586
01:23:25,216 --> 01:23:26,288
- What are you laughing at, Justin?

1587
01:23:26,488 --> 01:23:28,240
- Huh?
- What are you laughing at now?

1588
01:23:28,440 --> 01:23:30,192
- Just now?
- Yes, yes, but from what?

1589
01:23:30,392 --> 01:23:31,283
Oh, I don't know.

1590
01:23:31,353 --> 01:23:34,406
Ah, failed the test!
Failed the test!

1591
01:23:34,606 --> 01:23:37,028
You're laughing now.
But what are you laughing at now?

1592
01:23:37,135 --> 01:23:41,383
- I don't know, because...
- Ah, another failure!

1593
01:23:41,443 --> 01:23:43,094
Than you
Are you laughing Stu?

1594
01:23:43,315 --> 01:23:44,846
Oh, I was
laughing with the group.

1595
01:23:44,926 --> 01:23:46,628
Yes, that's good.
That's good, yes.

1596
01:23:48,009 --> 01:23:50,252
Just pay attention.
Pay attention.

1597
01:23:51,183 --> 01:23:52,234
Laughing with the group.

1598
01:25:28,290 --> 01:25:31,253
You won't remember
of the last hour and a half

1599
01:25:31,453 --> 01:25:33,255
than what you just saw.

1600
01:25:34,055 --> 01:25:35,447
You will forget...

1601
01:25:35,977 --> 01:25:38,230
the content of this film.