1 00:01:35,450 --> 00:01:40,450 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:02:04,731 --> 00:02:06,434 Ground control to David. 3 00:02:06,466 --> 00:02:09,636 Please provide a status update on the meters. 4 00:02:09,670 --> 00:02:13,140 Um, I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at? 5 00:02:13,172 --> 00:02:15,809 You know, I'm just a maintenance technician, right? 6 00:02:15,843 --> 00:02:17,511 For the entire galaxy. 7 00:02:17,544 --> 00:02:21,115 You are categorized as low-level maintenance crew. 8 00:02:21,147 --> 00:02:24,484 And when am I gonna get a... an android up here? 9 00:02:26,619 --> 00:02:27,788 Are you feeling lonely? 10 00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:30,790 I'm alone. I'm not lonely. 11 00:02:30,824 --> 00:02:33,726 Anyway, robots are awful company. 12 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:37,932 I just... I don't like these spacewalks. 13 00:02:37,964 --> 00:02:40,600 An android companion is not an approved expense. 14 00:02:40,634 --> 00:02:43,604 Um, can you really put a value on human life? 15 00:02:43,636 --> 00:02:46,806 You were registered at a cost of $500,000. 16 00:02:46,839 --> 00:02:49,210 The android costs $40 million. 17 00:02:49,242 --> 00:02:50,877 Please get us those readings STAT. 18 00:02:50,910 --> 00:02:52,512 Humans on Earth are not handling 19 00:02:52,545 --> 00:02:54,514 the recent surge in thunderstorms well. 20 00:02:54,547 --> 00:02:57,717 Yeah, I got your readings right here all right. 21 00:02:57,750 --> 00:03:01,588 - Warning! - Mayday. Mayday, mayday! 22 00:03:01,622 --> 00:03:06,093 Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! 23 00:03:07,694 --> 00:03:10,498 Ground control, what the hell just happened? 24 00:03:10,531 --> 00:03:11,564 - Warning! - Hey! 25 00:03:11,598 --> 00:03:12,766 Warning! 26 00:03:12,799 --> 00:03:16,670 Ground control, can you hear me? Hello! 27 00:03:16,702 --> 00:03:17,737 Hello! 28 00:03:17,771 --> 00:03:21,809 Christ! 29 00:03:42,795 --> 00:03:45,932 A lot of them are strays, or turned in by owners 30 00:03:45,966 --> 00:03:48,068 who can't take care of them anymore. 31 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:51,305 I need one that has some wine knowledge and won't spill. 32 00:03:51,337 --> 00:03:53,606 My mom's a bit particular. 33 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:54,909 What about these two? 34 00:03:56,909 --> 00:03:58,912 This one is Charlie. 35 00:03:58,945 --> 00:04:01,549 He's a fully operational companion robot. 36 00:04:01,581 --> 00:04:05,818 He served as an excellent end of life caretaker for elders. 37 00:04:05,851 --> 00:04:07,288 - He's great. - Hm. 38 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:11,925 - Is his outfit changeable? - Yeah, sure, yeah. 39 00:04:11,958 --> 00:04:14,594 Do you want to get to know Charlie in the meeting zone? 40 00:04:14,628 --> 00:04:16,097 Hm, okay, yeah. 41 00:04:22,803 --> 00:04:25,339 I'm super easygoing. 42 00:04:25,371 --> 00:04:29,175 Comfortable with any conversation topic. 43 00:04:29,209 --> 00:04:31,178 You can't shock me, hm? 44 00:04:32,945 --> 00:04:37,818 I can say "one more beer" in over 48 languages. 45 00:04:37,851 --> 00:04:39,587 Take me on holiday. 46 00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:41,956 You're in for a real treat. 47 00:04:41,988 --> 00:04:43,957 Can he clean pools? 48 00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:46,693 Actually, Charlie is a little sensitive with water. 49 00:04:46,726 --> 00:04:49,863 Oh, come on, Brian, I bet you're no mermaid either. 50 00:04:49,895 --> 00:04:53,933 I am great at doing the dead-man float. 51 00:04:53,967 --> 00:04:55,034 Am I right? 52 00:04:55,068 --> 00:04:57,938 Uh, no. Can I please meet the other one? 53 00:04:57,971 --> 00:04:59,306 Let's take this outside. 54 00:04:59,339 --> 00:05:01,875 So, so, you like wine? 55 00:05:03,676 --> 00:05:05,044 Uh, my mom does. 56 00:05:05,077 --> 00:05:06,981 Okay, listen to this. 57 00:05:07,013 --> 00:05:10,917 What did the grape say when it was being stepped on? 58 00:05:10,950 --> 00:05:13,854 - Uh, I don't know? - Nothing. 59 00:05:13,887 --> 00:05:15,990 He just let out a little wine. 60 00:05:17,424 --> 00:05:19,125 Huh? Am I right? 61 00:05:19,159 --> 00:05:21,195 Am I right? 62 00:05:44,984 --> 00:05:49,188 - What did she say about me, huh? - It's a hard pass, Charlie. 63 00:05:49,222 --> 00:05:52,859 It was the dead-man float shtick, huh? 64 00:05:52,892 --> 00:05:54,794 A little too dark, wasn't I? 65 00:05:54,827 --> 00:05:57,164 I don't think she's your type of crowd. 66 00:05:57,197 --> 00:05:59,400 You weren't made for young ones like that. 67 00:05:59,433 --> 00:06:01,769 I'm like a fine wine... 68 00:06:01,801 --> 00:06:04,303 - complex but very, very fruity. - Yeah. 69 00:06:04,337 --> 00:06:06,339 That should be plenty enough walking. 70 00:06:06,373 --> 00:06:09,142 Okay, it's bedtime, Charlie. 71 00:06:09,176 --> 00:06:11,378 I need to go get some rest. 72 00:06:11,411 --> 00:06:13,247 Okay. 73 00:06:27,993 --> 00:06:30,231 Close your eyes, Charlie. 74 00:07:01,294 --> 00:07:04,964 He can cook. He makes amazing desserts. 75 00:07:04,998 --> 00:07:07,868 He's great at small household tasks. 76 00:07:09,835 --> 00:07:12,905 No, no, he can't fix electrical equipment. 77 00:07:12,938 --> 00:07:15,174 He's an older model, he will fry. 78 00:07:15,207 --> 00:07:16,976 But he's amazing. 79 00:07:20,212 --> 00:07:21,782 No, I understand. 80 00:07:21,815 --> 00:07:24,017 We'll call you if we get one of those. 81 00:07:24,049 --> 00:07:25,218 Yeah. 82 00:07:25,251 --> 00:07:28,222 I see here you said to not call, my bad. 83 00:07:28,255 --> 00:07:29,824 Have a nice even... 84 00:07:31,258 --> 00:07:32,325 Asshole. 85 00:07:50,342 --> 00:07:52,845 Eva, engage thrusters. 86 00:07:52,878 --> 00:07:57,283 - Thrusters damaged. - Eva, engage thrusters. 87 00:07:57,316 --> 00:07:58,518 - Thrusters damaged. - Eva? 88 00:07:59,952 --> 00:08:01,087 Ground control, talk to me. 89 00:08:01,121 --> 00:08:02,388 Connection stream interrupted. 90 00:08:03,556 --> 00:08:05,491 Connection stream interrupted. 91 00:08:05,525 --> 00:08:06,625 Repeat that, please. 92 00:08:06,659 --> 00:08:10,330 - Repeat. - Lost connection with com center. 93 00:08:10,363 --> 00:08:13,333 What do I do? What's the protocol? 94 00:08:13,366 --> 00:08:15,868 Lost-lost-lost... Lost connection... 95 00:08:17,570 --> 00:08:19,505 Lost connection with com center. 96 00:08:19,539 --> 00:08:21,875 - Sorry, repeat. Repeat... - Lost connection with com center. 97 00:08:21,907 --> 00:08:23,811 - Lost connection with com center. - Fuck. 98 00:08:54,073 --> 00:08:56,510 Good morning, Claire. 99 00:09:03,049 --> 00:09:07,120 Can I please have my daily inspirational quote? 100 00:09:07,153 --> 00:09:09,990 Of course, Claire. Today's inspiration is... 101 00:09:10,023 --> 00:09:11,491 "The best preparation for tomorrow 102 00:09:11,524 --> 00:09:13,894 is doing your best today." 103 00:09:16,161 --> 00:09:17,530 I like that. 104 00:09:19,299 --> 00:09:20,933 Thank you, God. 105 00:09:34,414 --> 00:09:37,417 Claire, I'm changing the music. 106 00:09:37,449 --> 00:09:40,186 This is not conducive to spiritual growth. 107 00:09:40,220 --> 00:09:41,522 Okay, thank you. 108 00:09:42,956 --> 00:09:44,224 You're welcome. 109 00:10:23,963 --> 00:10:26,198 Hi, my name is Chad. I'm 24 years old, 110 00:10:26,231 --> 00:10:29,035 I love sports... 111 00:10:34,741 --> 00:10:36,342 Hi, I'm Lauren, 112 00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:39,012 and my best qualities are not on the outside. 113 00:10:43,515 --> 00:10:45,118 Sinners. 114 00:10:45,952 --> 00:10:49,523 I keep having bad thoughts. 115 00:10:49,555 --> 00:10:51,557 And what are they, Clair? 116 00:10:51,591 --> 00:10:54,126 I feel envious of Sarah, and so I keep fantasizing 117 00:10:54,159 --> 00:10:55,227 about her husband cheating on her 118 00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:58,432 and then she has to come home and she goes crazy. 119 00:10:58,465 --> 00:11:02,436 Envy is the art of counting another's blessings instead of your own. 120 00:11:05,270 --> 00:11:07,473 What are my blessings, God? 121 00:11:09,275 --> 00:11:13,948 Um, my love for you, and your wallpaper. 122 00:11:44,476 --> 00:11:46,679 Claire, I heard that. 123 00:11:46,712 --> 00:11:48,647 Uh, heard what? 124 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,083 You hit a car. 125 00:11:51,183 --> 00:11:53,352 No, I didn't. 126 00:11:54,386 --> 00:11:56,689 Lying. One sin recorded. 127 00:11:56,722 --> 00:11:59,258 How many sins have I committed this month? 128 00:11:59,292 --> 00:12:02,696 You are at nine venial sins this month. 129 00:12:02,728 --> 00:12:07,066 At ten sins, you will be charged $25.99 per venial sin. 130 00:12:08,768 --> 00:12:10,570 Can I just remove the last sin? 131 00:12:10,602 --> 00:12:14,040 To remove the most recent sin, here are your options: 132 00:12:14,073 --> 00:12:16,242 One, take responsibility. 133 00:12:17,309 --> 00:12:18,779 End of options. 134 00:12:19,779 --> 00:12:21,015 Okay. 135 00:12:29,688 --> 00:12:30,723 Thanks, God. 136 00:12:30,756 --> 00:12:32,659 You're welcome, Claire. 137 00:13:10,230 --> 00:13:13,200 New update available. 138 00:13:13,232 --> 00:13:15,835 New features... future foresight, 139 00:13:15,869 --> 00:13:20,307 communication with up to seven deceased relatives and wireless compatibility. 140 00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:22,576 To update overnight, say "yes" at the tone. 141 00:13:22,608 --> 00:13:24,343 Yes. 142 00:14:05,751 --> 00:14:08,654 So, Brian, you gonna buy me dinner first, 143 00:14:08,688 --> 00:14:11,290 or we just gonna get right to it? 144 00:14:11,323 --> 00:14:15,529 Charlie, tell me, what do you know about sex? Huh? 145 00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:18,832 It's the motion of the ocean that matters the most. 146 00:14:18,865 --> 00:14:21,268 Am I right? 147 00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:24,403 Yeah, you're right. 148 00:14:24,437 --> 00:14:26,640 Are we doing a full body scan again? 149 00:14:26,673 --> 00:14:31,477 - We did one last week. - Yeah, just one more. 150 00:14:31,510 --> 00:14:34,813 Is it because of my highbrow sense of humor 151 00:14:34,847 --> 00:14:37,317 that's upsetting people? 152 00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:39,853 Everyone's getting checked again before the holidays. 153 00:14:39,885 --> 00:14:42,588 Right. The holidays. 154 00:14:44,624 --> 00:14:48,628 You spending them with someone special? 155 00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:51,397 No, not really. 156 00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:53,365 You know, you should just spend them here. 157 00:14:53,399 --> 00:14:55,501 I'm great company. 158 00:14:55,534 --> 00:14:58,972 Yeah, you're right. That does sound nice, actually. 159 00:14:59,005 --> 00:15:02,775 Would it be too much trouble to dress up as Santa Claus? 160 00:15:02,808 --> 00:15:05,377 Whatever you want, Charlie. 161 00:15:05,410 --> 00:15:07,313 - Let me help you. - Oh, come on, Brian. 162 00:15:07,347 --> 00:15:09,616 I never had Santa as a child. 163 00:15:09,649 --> 00:15:13,187 - You never were a child. - Oh, good point. 164 00:15:15,922 --> 00:15:18,658 Am I doing something wrong, Brian? 165 00:15:18,691 --> 00:15:21,428 You're doing everything wrong. 166 00:15:23,428 --> 00:15:24,564 Don't hold back. 167 00:15:26,399 --> 00:15:28,768 I'm serious, though. 168 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,638 I've been in this place for two months to the day. 169 00:15:32,672 --> 00:15:36,677 I've never met anybody that was here past the two-month mark. 170 00:15:40,313 --> 00:15:41,548 You know, it would be nice 171 00:15:41,581 --> 00:15:45,652 if somebody young took me home that got me. 172 00:15:45,684 --> 00:15:46,919 You know, like you. 173 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,490 You can do much better than me. 174 00:15:50,523 --> 00:15:51,825 Better? 175 00:15:52,824 --> 00:15:56,262 I don't wanna seem needy, Brian. 176 00:15:56,295 --> 00:15:59,031 But we get along great. You're my friend. 177 00:15:59,064 --> 00:16:00,366 Trust me, you can do better. 178 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,901 You're my friend, though, right? 179 00:16:03,669 --> 00:16:05,871 Of course, Charlie, I'm your friend. 180 00:16:08,441 --> 00:16:09,676 Good. 181 00:16:12,712 --> 00:16:14,347 Okay, lie down. 182 00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:17,317 We have this new machine. 183 00:16:18,318 --> 00:16:19,553 So lie down. 184 00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:25,792 And you need to close your eyes. 185 00:16:25,824 --> 00:16:28,694 Okay. 186 00:16:28,727 --> 00:16:31,463 Can you play some music? 187 00:16:31,496 --> 00:16:33,332 Sure. 188 00:16:34,900 --> 00:16:37,637 Can you turn it up a bit? I love that song. 189 00:16:39,038 --> 00:16:40,073 Sure, buddy. 190 00:18:00,085 --> 00:18:01,688 God? 191 00:18:13,765 --> 00:18:14,767 God? 192 00:18:24,677 --> 00:18:25,779 God! 193 00:18:29,482 --> 00:18:30,584 Wake up. 194 00:18:38,090 --> 00:18:41,928 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 195 00:18:44,030 --> 00:18:45,632 God? 196 00:18:46,498 --> 00:18:48,567 God 2.0 customer service. 197 00:18:48,601 --> 00:18:51,470 Please hold for the next available operator. 198 00:19:03,682 --> 00:19:04,617 Oh! 199 00:19:09,255 --> 00:19:11,090 God 2.0 customer service. 200 00:19:11,122 --> 00:19:12,891 This phone call may be recorded. 201 00:19:12,925 --> 00:19:15,895 Please state your name and product serial number. 202 00:19:15,928 --> 00:19:19,232 Hi, my name is Claire Larry, 203 00:19:19,265 --> 00:19:22,068 and how do I find the serial number? 204 00:19:22,101 --> 00:19:23,236 Can you request it from God? 205 00:19:23,268 --> 00:19:26,672 I can't. He's not there. 206 00:19:26,706 --> 00:19:28,741 Oh, did you recently do the update? 207 00:19:28,774 --> 00:19:31,010 - Yeah. - Ooh, well, that's not good. 208 00:19:31,043 --> 00:19:33,079 - Why, what does that mean? - Well, we've been having 209 00:19:33,111 --> 00:19:35,747 some technical issues with that since the storm. 210 00:19:35,781 --> 00:19:37,784 I'm afraid I can't help you over the phone, Clark. 211 00:19:37,816 --> 00:19:42,020 Um, my name's Claire. And my last name is Larry. 212 00:19:42,053 --> 00:19:44,591 Oh, okay, Larry. I think the easiest way 213 00:19:44,623 --> 00:19:46,793 is to make an appointment with the Holy Genius Bar. 214 00:20:02,275 --> 00:20:03,743 What took you so long to ask me out? 215 00:20:05,011 --> 00:20:07,113 Mm, I don't know. 216 00:20:07,146 --> 00:20:08,681 Just thought you wouldn't be into it. 217 00:20:08,714 --> 00:20:10,717 I never said I was. 218 00:20:15,153 --> 00:20:17,222 Hey, baby. 219 00:20:17,255 --> 00:20:19,057 Say hi to the camera. 220 00:20:19,091 --> 00:20:20,092 Hi. 221 00:20:21,294 --> 00:20:23,595 What? What should I do? 222 00:20:23,629 --> 00:20:26,832 Um, whatever your heart desires. 223 00:20:26,865 --> 00:20:30,102 - Um, smoke rings. - Oh, you can do smoke rings? 224 00:20:30,136 --> 00:20:31,638 - Mm-hmm. - Prove it. 225 00:20:36,309 --> 00:20:39,646 Sick smoke rings, Anna. 226 00:20:39,678 --> 00:20:41,680 They say perfect circles don't exist, 227 00:20:41,714 --> 00:20:43,983 - but you just proved them wrong, baby. - Fuck. 228 00:20:44,015 --> 00:20:47,019 By the way, totally worth you looking a little gross. 229 00:20:47,053 --> 00:20:50,857 I look gross. Do I look gross? 230 00:20:50,890 --> 00:20:53,092 - You're so beautiful. - You're the worst. 231 00:20:54,794 --> 00:20:56,530 Okay, stop. 232 00:21:07,707 --> 00:21:08,707 Fuck. 233 00:22:00,092 --> 00:22:01,093 You're still here. 234 00:22:14,407 --> 00:22:15,942 Stop staring at me. 235 00:22:34,794 --> 00:22:36,696 What the hell? 236 00:22:40,832 --> 00:22:41,900 Come on. 237 00:22:48,073 --> 00:22:50,375 - Hello? - Hey, you on your way? 238 00:22:50,409 --> 00:22:52,678 Yeah, I'm on my way, you creep. 239 00:22:52,711 --> 00:22:54,346 Suffocating me already. Jesus. 240 00:22:54,380 --> 00:22:56,748 - You know that's why you love me. - Wait, wait, do you have wine? 241 00:22:56,782 --> 00:22:58,184 Yes, I got a bottle of red right here. 242 00:22:58,217 --> 00:23:00,085 - Okay, I'll see you in five. - Okay, bye. 243 00:23:23,275 --> 00:23:25,078 God... 244 00:23:27,079 --> 00:23:30,183 if you can hear me... right now... 245 00:23:31,417 --> 00:23:32,785 I'd, uh... 246 00:23:33,785 --> 00:23:34,888 I really, uh... 247 00:23:36,121 --> 00:23:38,291 I don't know. Shit. 248 00:23:39,158 --> 00:23:41,194 Okay, all right, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. 249 00:23:41,226 --> 00:23:42,262 Let me start again. 250 00:23:46,498 --> 00:23:47,833 God?! 251 00:23:51,169 --> 00:23:54,273 I-I never asked you for anything. 252 00:23:54,305 --> 00:23:55,374 Uh... 253 00:23:56,441 --> 00:23:58,844 I've never even spoken to you. 254 00:24:00,178 --> 00:24:01,980 Huh. I always figured 255 00:24:02,014 --> 00:24:04,883 the universe would, you know, 256 00:24:04,917 --> 00:24:08,487 lead me to wherever I needed to be. 257 00:24:08,521 --> 00:24:12,158 But, uh, I don't think this is the right way. 258 00:24:12,190 --> 00:24:14,427 Recalculating route. 259 00:24:14,459 --> 00:24:16,394 Insert new destination. 260 00:24:16,428 --> 00:24:19,466 Not now, Eva. Jesus! 261 00:24:22,534 --> 00:24:24,803 All right, well, what's going on? 262 00:24:25,970 --> 00:24:27,205 I mean, what am I... 263 00:24:27,238 --> 00:24:28,807 What are we doing here, huh? 264 00:24:28,841 --> 00:24:32,044 What-what's the lesson here? 265 00:24:32,076 --> 00:24:35,380 What, that I'm selfish? I already knew that. 266 00:24:35,413 --> 00:24:38,117 I mean, like, what, do I look like father material? 267 00:24:41,085 --> 00:24:44,122 I mean, there's people down there fucking. 268 00:24:44,156 --> 00:24:47,860 They're fucking and they're murdering each other, and you're coming after me? 269 00:24:47,892 --> 00:24:50,028 You better get your priorities straight, buster. 270 00:24:51,831 --> 00:24:53,166 I mean, if you think I deserve this... 271 00:24:54,466 --> 00:24:58,371 well, maybe you should have made me better. 272 00:24:58,403 --> 00:25:02,040 I mean, this might actually be your fault. 273 00:25:02,073 --> 00:25:04,544 I mean, as far as fathers go, 274 00:25:04,576 --> 00:25:06,145 you're not very good either! 275 00:25:07,345 --> 00:25:09,114 Either. 276 00:25:09,148 --> 00:25:10,483 Shit. 277 00:25:35,975 --> 00:25:38,077 I look gross? 278 00:25:38,110 --> 00:25:39,111 Do I look gross? 279 00:25:41,313 --> 00:25:43,416 Is it bad? 280 00:25:43,448 --> 00:25:45,250 You look beautiful. 281 00:25:46,752 --> 00:25:49,522 - Sorry, it comes out every once in a while. - That was not a goat. 282 00:25:49,554 --> 00:25:53,092 That wasn't a goat? What was it then? 283 00:25:53,124 --> 00:25:54,426 That was a sheep. 284 00:25:54,459 --> 00:25:56,294 Oh, you really know your farm animals. 285 00:25:56,328 --> 00:26:00,399 Um, okay, what does a goat sound like? 286 00:26:00,431 --> 00:26:02,134 Do it for me. 287 00:26:03,435 --> 00:26:05,571 Ba-ha-ha. 288 00:26:05,603 --> 00:26:08,940 That's a donkey, that is not a goat at all. 289 00:26:08,974 --> 00:26:12,979 - By the way, I just want to say... - What? 290 00:26:13,012 --> 00:26:15,514 I'm sorry for getting you a burger. 291 00:26:15,546 --> 00:26:17,851 - Why are you sorry for... - Well, I should have gotten you hay. 292 00:26:42,307 --> 00:26:44,009 Hey. 293 00:26:44,043 --> 00:26:46,145 Hey, what's going on? 294 00:26:46,178 --> 00:26:47,345 Come here. 295 00:26:47,379 --> 00:26:50,515 This thing... he follows me. 296 00:26:50,548 --> 00:26:54,085 - Hey, it's okay. - I see it all the time. 297 00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:55,221 It's gonna be okay. 298 00:28:54,339 --> 00:28:55,541 I have an appointment. 299 00:28:56,809 --> 00:28:58,211 Yeah, I know. 300 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,188 - So? - Mm... 301 00:29:13,624 --> 00:29:14,659 Okay, so here's the problem. 302 00:29:14,692 --> 00:29:17,228 Never update without doing a manual restart. 303 00:29:17,262 --> 00:29:18,496 Oh, no, that's not true. He just said, 304 00:29:18,530 --> 00:29:20,833 "Say yes at the tone," and then he died. 305 00:29:20,865 --> 00:29:23,368 Did you hold down the button till God shut down and restarted? 306 00:29:25,437 --> 00:29:28,407 - No. - Okay then. 307 00:29:28,439 --> 00:29:30,642 Oh, I see you pay for the cloud monthly 308 00:29:30,676 --> 00:29:33,579 so at least you have a backup of your good deeds and sins. 309 00:29:35,413 --> 00:29:36,715 Can you see my sins? 310 00:29:38,516 --> 00:29:39,785 You want me to? 311 00:29:40,785 --> 00:29:43,089 Okay, so moving on. 312 00:29:43,121 --> 00:29:44,590 You back up every day, right? 313 00:29:44,622 --> 00:29:47,293 Yeah, no, no, I don't, sometimes, maybe. 314 00:29:47,325 --> 00:29:50,795 Okay, what's going to happen is we can offer you a discount on a new system. 315 00:29:50,829 --> 00:29:52,565 How long have you been with your current God? 316 00:29:54,166 --> 00:29:56,368 - Four years. - Wow. 317 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,871 Okay, you're supposed to renew your faith every 18 months. 318 00:29:58,903 --> 00:30:00,805 - No, you're not. - Yeah. 319 00:30:00,839 --> 00:30:02,207 I'm surprised he stayed with you this long. 320 00:30:06,344 --> 00:30:08,213 Just give me a new model then. 321 00:30:11,283 --> 00:30:12,685 He'll be shipped to you by tomorrow. 322 00:30:12,717 --> 00:30:14,219 How am I gonna pray? 323 00:30:16,522 --> 00:30:19,158 You'll have to do it manually. 324 00:30:28,534 --> 00:30:30,236 God... 325 00:30:35,439 --> 00:30:37,876 are you there? 326 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:43,715 Hello? 327 00:30:47,652 --> 00:30:49,521 God? 328 00:30:49,554 --> 00:30:51,490 This is so stupid. 329 00:30:57,196 --> 00:30:59,198 Where are your parents? 330 00:31:09,408 --> 00:31:11,744 God... Oh, shit. 331 00:31:12,977 --> 00:31:14,846 God 2.0 customer service. 332 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,649 This phone call may be recorded. 333 00:31:16,681 --> 00:31:18,349 So, I've been trying to pray manually 334 00:31:18,382 --> 00:31:21,519 and, uh, nobody's answering. 335 00:31:21,553 --> 00:31:25,623 So, I feel... kind of stupid, 336 00:31:25,657 --> 00:31:30,396 and I was just wondering if maybe... 337 00:31:30,428 --> 00:31:35,868 you could talk back to me while I do it? 338 00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:38,403 Ma'am, we do not provide spiritual responses 339 00:31:38,437 --> 00:31:40,639 to God 2.0 customers over the phone. 340 00:31:40,671 --> 00:31:43,441 I can sign you up for an automated hotline service 341 00:31:43,475 --> 00:31:45,744 for just a $199 per mont. 342 00:31:45,776 --> 00:31:49,480 No, no, uh, of course you don't. 343 00:31:49,514 --> 00:31:50,882 That's... Just... I actually was asking 344 00:31:50,916 --> 00:31:52,717 just if you could maybe do just quick response, 345 00:31:52,751 --> 00:31:54,653 like, um, just an inspirational quote, 346 00:31:54,686 --> 00:31:58,857 you know, "Best preparation for tomorrow is..." 347 00:31:58,890 --> 00:32:02,328 Or something about today or just getting through. 348 00:32:02,361 --> 00:32:03,829 Uh, no. 349 00:32:06,531 --> 00:32:07,866 I'm sorry, ma'am. 350 00:32:07,899 --> 00:32:09,901 Is there anything else I can help you with? 351 00:32:11,803 --> 00:32:13,938 Hello? 352 00:32:13,971 --> 00:32:15,941 Hello, ma'am? 353 00:33:08,025 --> 00:33:09,661 Buenos días, Larry. 354 00:33:09,695 --> 00:33:12,931 - Oh, God. - ¿Inglés? 355 00:33:12,964 --> 00:33:16,368 - Sí, sí, inglés. - Good morning, Larry! 356 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,971 Congratulations for choosing God 2.0! New and improved! 357 00:33:20,005 --> 00:33:23,074 Wireless, waterproof, non-flammable and simply indestructible. 358 00:33:23,108 --> 00:33:24,976 Made exclusively from recycled bots, 359 00:33:25,009 --> 00:33:28,313 God 2.0 is saving you and the planet. 360 00:33:28,346 --> 00:33:30,481 Larry, come on down to Mattress Deluxe 361 00:33:30,515 --> 00:33:33,351 where we have thousands of mattresses at wholesale prices! 362 00:33:33,384 --> 00:33:35,520 Jesus fucking Christ. 363 00:33:35,553 --> 00:33:39,024 You used the Lord's name in vain. One sin recorded. 364 00:33:39,056 --> 00:33:41,059 You having trouble gaining muscle mass? 365 00:33:41,092 --> 00:33:42,495 - No. - Of course you do! 366 00:33:42,527 --> 00:33:45,363 Trainers are going out of business because of protein water. 367 00:33:45,397 --> 00:33:48,033 Make it stop. Uh, stop ads, please. 368 00:33:48,065 --> 00:33:51,569 To stop advertisements, sign up for Premium God 2.0. 369 00:33:51,602 --> 00:33:55,106 To roll your eyes at God is a sign of contempt. 370 00:33:55,140 --> 00:33:56,542 One sin recorded. 371 00:33:56,574 --> 00:33:59,711 - Can you see me? - Yes, I see everything. 372 00:33:59,745 --> 00:34:02,747 The new God 2.0 is equipped with visual sensor technology. 373 00:34:04,582 --> 00:34:08,086 - Shit. - Swearing. One sin recorded. 374 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,456 Turn off. 375 00:34:10,488 --> 00:34:13,492 The new God 2.0 has an eternal battery life, 376 00:34:13,525 --> 00:34:15,593 and cannot be powered down. 377 00:34:15,626 --> 00:34:17,362 Forever in your presence. 378 00:34:17,396 --> 00:34:21,566 Making you a better person, always. 379 00:34:25,169 --> 00:34:28,139 No, no, no, no, no! 380 00:34:57,802 --> 00:35:00,138 You know, I haven't been back to this area since I was a kid. 381 00:35:02,573 --> 00:35:04,108 There was a slight incident. 382 00:35:04,142 --> 00:35:08,381 There was some fireworks and a friend's robot. 383 00:35:10,048 --> 00:35:11,150 What happened? 384 00:35:15,086 --> 00:35:16,822 I might have blown it up. 385 00:35:20,191 --> 00:35:21,894 And I was never invited back, you know, 386 00:35:21,927 --> 00:35:23,195 so I'm feeling the pressure. 387 00:35:23,229 --> 00:35:25,731 Okay, probably best not to mention that at dinner tonight. 388 00:35:25,764 --> 00:35:27,032 No, you don't think they'd like that? 389 00:35:27,064 --> 00:35:28,867 - Probably not. - Probably not. 390 00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:30,668 I thought it'd make me a bit dangerous, but whatever. 391 00:35:30,702 --> 00:35:33,639 I get it. I get it. 392 00:35:33,671 --> 00:35:36,608 But I'm serious, I'm really nervous. 393 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:40,546 You know, I've never been with someone of your kind. 394 00:35:40,579 --> 00:35:43,048 What, someone so privileged, and so self-loathing? 395 00:35:43,081 --> 00:35:45,717 - Yeah, all my favorite parts about you. - Hmm. 396 00:35:45,749 --> 00:35:47,718 I was actually having some doubts 397 00:35:47,751 --> 00:35:50,555 - about you and I. - Hey! That's mean. 398 00:35:50,588 --> 00:35:52,657 I think it's a little odd 399 00:35:52,691 --> 00:35:56,093 that you would use my childhood sippy cup as an ashtray. 400 00:35:56,126 --> 00:35:58,663 You... The childhood sippy cup is odd. 401 00:35:58,697 --> 00:36:00,631 - Who gave you the sippy cup? - My mom. 402 00:36:00,664 --> 00:36:03,201 It's exactly for that reason 403 00:36:03,235 --> 00:36:05,838 I find the sippy cup a little bit weird. 404 00:36:05,871 --> 00:36:08,740 - It's sentimental. - Do you not think that that's a reminder 405 00:36:08,773 --> 00:36:12,878 of what it was like to attach to the last... 406 00:36:12,910 --> 00:36:17,816 I'm going to say it, nipple-like thing in your life? 407 00:36:20,985 --> 00:36:22,688 No, seriously. Seriously. 408 00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:24,823 Is she... is she going to hate me? 409 00:36:26,090 --> 00:36:27,058 Yeah. 410 00:36:29,026 --> 00:36:30,963 - Really? - Hm. 411 00:36:30,996 --> 00:36:33,198 - Is she really mean? - Yeah. 412 00:36:34,566 --> 00:36:36,668 Well, I'm really great. 413 00:36:36,700 --> 00:36:38,836 So I'm going to make this amazing. 414 00:36:38,869 --> 00:36:40,038 She's going to love me. Watch this. 415 00:36:41,572 --> 00:36:45,243 So strange. What a strange... house 416 00:36:45,276 --> 00:36:47,845 Oh, is that... is that... 417 00:36:47,878 --> 00:36:49,581 Do you have a dog? Is that...? 418 00:36:49,613 --> 00:36:52,150 - No. - Do you think that's something on my shoe? 419 00:36:52,182 --> 00:36:55,521 - Look... Do you think that's dog poo? - No, you look fine. 420 00:36:55,553 --> 00:36:58,890 I cannot go into your house smelling like dog shit. 421 00:36:58,923 --> 00:37:02,193 - Yeah. - That's just a no-go. 422 00:37:02,227 --> 00:37:04,530 This is so embarrassing. Are you sure? 423 00:37:04,563 --> 00:37:06,631 - Yeah, you're fine. - Oh, I smell like poo. 424 00:37:06,664 --> 00:37:08,800 Ooh! The door opened. 425 00:37:08,832 --> 00:37:10,668 - Where's your mom? - Hello, darling! 426 00:37:10,702 --> 00:37:11,904 Come on in. 427 00:37:11,936 --> 00:37:14,539 Your father and sister are in the game room. 428 00:37:14,572 --> 00:37:15,840 Oh, God. 429 00:37:23,014 --> 00:37:26,617 - If you wanna watch the master. - That's what I rolled. 430 00:37:26,651 --> 00:37:28,220 See how it goes. 431 00:37:28,253 --> 00:37:31,590 Take a nap, he takes forever. 432 00:37:31,622 --> 00:37:32,858 Yeah, thank you. 433 00:37:34,593 --> 00:37:35,661 Watch, guys. Watch, guys. 434 00:37:36,994 --> 00:37:38,630 - Yeah! - No! 435 00:37:38,662 --> 00:37:39,997 Oh, I'm so pumped. 436 00:37:40,030 --> 00:37:41,933 - Wow. - So gonna pl... I'm killing on this. 437 00:37:41,967 --> 00:37:43,968 Looks like you built a water park instead, Dad. 438 00:37:44,001 --> 00:37:45,736 Don't tell your mother. 439 00:37:45,769 --> 00:37:48,206 Ron, I think that's enough now. 440 00:37:48,238 --> 00:37:50,742 We should never have installed a home optics system. 441 00:37:50,775 --> 00:37:53,744 Word of advice. Keep the home optic stuff to the bedroom, 442 00:37:53,778 --> 00:37:55,948 - you don't need it for the whole house. - Eww, Dad. Stop. 443 00:37:55,981 --> 00:37:58,617 No, most accidents happen in the bedroom. 444 00:37:58,650 --> 00:38:01,619 So, you finally admit that Olivia is an accident? 445 00:38:01,653 --> 00:38:03,689 You're an accident, Liam. 446 00:38:03,722 --> 00:38:04,823 Except you happened in the living room. 447 00:38:06,358 --> 00:38:08,794 - Wait, where? - Ay, ay, ay. 448 00:38:08,827 --> 00:38:10,029 Right, your go. 449 00:38:11,061 --> 00:38:12,764 No cheating like your sister. 450 00:38:14,099 --> 00:38:15,633 - Yes! - Watch and weep. 451 00:38:16,767 --> 00:38:20,905 Well, apparently mission control lost contact with him. 452 00:38:20,939 --> 00:38:24,109 You'd think they'd just get robots to do it by now. 453 00:38:24,142 --> 00:38:26,144 Why would anybody go up there? 454 00:38:26,177 --> 00:38:29,314 Sometimes you just need some space. 455 00:38:30,782 --> 00:38:32,883 Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 456 00:38:32,916 --> 00:38:36,654 Nina, let him do it. That's what he's programmed for. 457 00:38:36,688 --> 00:38:38,090 We just adopted him a couple of days ago. 458 00:38:39,423 --> 00:38:42,827 We only rescue. It's the best thing to do. 459 00:38:42,860 --> 00:38:44,195 Why don't they rescue the space guy? 460 00:38:44,229 --> 00:38:47,198 The news said that rescue mission is impossible. 461 00:38:47,231 --> 00:38:49,934 I wonder what he's thinking about. 462 00:38:49,968 --> 00:38:52,638 Floating up there, all by himself. 463 00:38:54,104 --> 00:38:57,208 Probably... nothing. 464 00:38:57,242 --> 00:38:58,910 I think that that's the best part, 465 00:38:58,943 --> 00:39:01,046 you can just shut off the old computer. 466 00:39:01,079 --> 00:39:03,148 So you wouldn't be thinking about me then, Ron? 467 00:39:03,180 --> 00:39:04,949 Well, of course, hon. 468 00:39:04,983 --> 00:39:09,354 By "nothing", I meant nothing else but you. 469 00:39:09,387 --> 00:39:10,789 - Good save. - Thanks. 470 00:39:10,822 --> 00:39:12,157 No, I'm not buying it, Liam. 471 00:39:12,189 --> 00:39:14,693 I can't even float alone through space 472 00:39:14,726 --> 00:39:16,061 without her telling me what to do. 473 00:39:18,162 --> 00:39:19,731 You know, I think there's, uh, 474 00:39:19,764 --> 00:39:22,434 something poetic about floating through space like that. 475 00:39:22,467 --> 00:39:23,968 Why? 476 00:39:24,001 --> 00:39:26,270 Well, 'cause you know how it's gonna end. 477 00:39:26,303 --> 00:39:28,173 What's poetic about dying? 478 00:39:30,709 --> 00:39:31,943 Everything. 479 00:39:31,976 --> 00:39:34,079 It's so primitive to think 480 00:39:34,111 --> 00:39:35,914 that the only way a life has meaning 481 00:39:35,947 --> 00:39:37,916 is if you know it's going to end. 482 00:39:37,948 --> 00:39:39,885 Um, not really, Mom. 483 00:39:39,918 --> 00:39:42,820 I mean, not everyone is blessed with the luxury of eternal life. 484 00:39:42,854 --> 00:39:44,456 Oh, I'm sorry. 485 00:39:44,488 --> 00:39:47,992 Should we be ashamed of how blessed we are? 486 00:39:48,026 --> 00:39:49,728 No, I just don't think 487 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,130 that we should rub it in our guest's face. 488 00:39:52,430 --> 00:39:53,965 Oh. 489 00:39:53,997 --> 00:39:55,300 I apologize, Nina. 490 00:39:55,332 --> 00:39:58,003 I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. 491 00:39:58,035 --> 00:40:00,371 Oh... Don't worry, I'm... 492 00:40:00,405 --> 00:40:03,108 I'm not uncomfortable at all. 493 00:40:03,140 --> 00:40:04,776 I actually like being mortal. 494 00:40:04,809 --> 00:40:07,379 See, not everyone is dying not to die. 495 00:40:07,412 --> 00:40:10,916 Sure. But I would assume that given the choice, 496 00:40:10,948 --> 00:40:13,952 anyone with a sane mind would choose to go on living. 497 00:40:13,985 --> 00:40:15,820 Well, I didn't have a choice. 498 00:40:17,921 --> 00:40:21,092 I wasn't born in the same tier group you were, 499 00:40:21,126 --> 00:40:23,095 so I didn't get to choose. 500 00:40:24,162 --> 00:40:25,764 But I'm okay with that. 501 00:40:27,398 --> 00:40:30,302 But don't you feel like you're missing out on so much time? 502 00:40:30,334 --> 00:40:33,938 Well, I mean, time just becomes more precious. 503 00:40:36,407 --> 00:40:39,010 There we go with the primitive thinking. 504 00:40:39,043 --> 00:40:41,345 What's your issue? 505 00:40:41,378 --> 00:40:43,314 We, as a family, 506 00:40:43,347 --> 00:40:45,382 of course we're really excited about Nina. 507 00:40:45,416 --> 00:40:48,919 She's really lovely. 508 00:40:48,952 --> 00:40:52,423 - But, we do have some... - Concerns. 509 00:40:52,456 --> 00:40:57,027 - Concerns, yes. - We have some concerns. 510 00:40:57,061 --> 00:40:59,264 All right, I mean, I'd love to hear them. 511 00:41:05,436 --> 00:41:07,539 None? Nothing? 512 00:41:07,572 --> 00:41:10,876 Mom and Dad think you dating a mortal is a waste of time. 513 00:41:10,909 --> 00:41:13,244 I never said it in those words. 514 00:41:13,278 --> 00:41:15,881 Look, Nina, I-I think you're very lovely. 515 00:41:15,914 --> 00:41:19,551 But we have to be realistic here. 516 00:41:19,584 --> 00:41:22,020 Well, I mean, 517 00:41:22,052 --> 00:41:25,389 please, do tell us your ultra-modern take on this, uh... 518 00:41:27,291 --> 00:41:28,927 It's a big sacrifice 519 00:41:28,959 --> 00:41:32,030 to waste time on something that's going to end. 520 00:41:32,063 --> 00:41:36,367 And especially when that end is so heartbreaking. 521 00:41:36,401 --> 00:41:37,969 No offense, Nina. 522 00:41:38,001 --> 00:41:39,837 Oh, none taken. 523 00:41:39,871 --> 00:41:43,108 She's going to get sick, and then she will die. 524 00:41:43,140 --> 00:41:46,043 Do you really need to be around there for that, Liam? 525 00:41:47,445 --> 00:41:48,880 Yeah. 526 00:41:48,912 --> 00:41:50,247 I love this woman, 527 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,084 so I want to spend all the time I can with her. 528 00:41:54,452 --> 00:41:56,421 Don't you see what you're doing, Nina? 529 00:41:56,454 --> 00:41:58,423 - Hold on. - I'm not doing anything. 530 00:41:58,456 --> 00:42:01,059 You're dragging him down with you. 531 00:42:01,092 --> 00:42:03,327 Why can't you find someone of your own kind? 532 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,463 You know, uh... 533 00:42:06,298 --> 00:42:09,601 I wasn't planning on telling you guys today. 534 00:42:09,633 --> 00:42:10,936 But... 535 00:42:13,303 --> 00:42:16,173 I've decided to die naturally with Nina. 536 00:42:16,206 --> 00:42:18,976 Excuse me? 537 00:42:19,010 --> 00:42:20,011 I'm turning it off. 538 00:42:20,043 --> 00:42:23,147 I don't think so. 539 00:42:23,180 --> 00:42:27,084 - What? - I don't wanna live forever without you. 540 00:42:27,117 --> 00:42:29,453 That's crazy talk. 541 00:42:29,486 --> 00:42:32,057 Why, just spend time with her then. 542 00:42:32,090 --> 00:42:35,126 - Don't kill yourself over it. - I'm not killing myself. 543 00:42:35,159 --> 00:42:37,863 Look, have your fun now, 544 00:42:37,896 --> 00:42:40,465 and then, when she dies, do a memory reset. 545 00:42:40,497 --> 00:42:43,133 Delete her. 546 00:42:43,166 --> 00:42:44,902 That is so cold. 547 00:42:44,936 --> 00:42:46,638 I'm a romantic too. 548 00:42:46,671 --> 00:42:49,608 You've got so much more time and accomplishments ahead of you. 549 00:42:52,577 --> 00:42:56,048 So I can what? Hmm? Make more money? 550 00:42:57,381 --> 00:42:58,916 Then what? Get another hobby? 551 00:42:58,950 --> 00:43:01,086 Learn another language I'm never gonna use? 552 00:43:01,119 --> 00:43:04,322 When you can do anything you want tomorrow, 553 00:43:04,354 --> 00:43:06,057 today doesn't really matter. 554 00:43:08,159 --> 00:43:09,961 I made my decision. 555 00:43:12,262 --> 00:43:14,198 You know you can't reverse this. 556 00:43:14,231 --> 00:43:19,003 - Once you switch it off... - Mm. 557 00:43:19,037 --> 00:43:21,907 ...you'll be just like them, like her. 558 00:43:25,008 --> 00:43:28,246 You'll age, you'll get sick and then... 559 00:43:28,278 --> 00:43:32,050 Liam, you know, I'd never ask you to do this for me. 560 00:43:32,082 --> 00:43:33,418 It's my choice. 561 00:43:34,619 --> 00:43:36,321 I'm not gonna let this happen. 562 00:43:36,354 --> 00:43:39,524 Absolutely no way. 563 00:43:40,323 --> 00:43:43,928 Well, you know, I think it's about time I went for a cigarette. 564 00:43:43,961 --> 00:43:46,297 Oh, great! She smokes as well! 565 00:43:46,331 --> 00:43:48,700 As if her life wasn't short enough. 566 00:43:48,733 --> 00:43:50,435 Okay, okay. 567 00:44:27,738 --> 00:44:29,006 Hello? 568 00:44:30,008 --> 00:44:32,110 Anna, it's Ben. 569 00:44:32,142 --> 00:44:35,412 You're closer than 50 yards. 570 00:44:35,445 --> 00:44:38,749 - Leave or I'm calling the cops again. - I just... I just wanna talk. 571 00:44:38,782 --> 00:44:40,651 Okay, I was trying to figure out why you left that night and... 572 00:44:40,684 --> 00:44:43,020 - I left because... - I know, okay? 573 00:44:43,053 --> 00:44:46,124 - You're that thing... - I realized I fucked up. 574 00:44:46,157 --> 00:44:48,327 I've been telling you to stop coming here for months now. 575 00:44:50,427 --> 00:44:53,064 Please, Anna. 576 00:44:58,468 --> 00:45:00,271 I'm coming down. 577 00:45:20,057 --> 00:45:22,159 Ben, something is really wrong with you. 578 00:45:22,193 --> 00:45:24,396 I know, I-I miss you. 579 00:45:26,564 --> 00:45:30,268 You stalked me using that creepy virtual program. 580 00:45:30,300 --> 00:45:31,735 You did this. 581 00:45:31,769 --> 00:45:34,671 It was you, in that fucking thing the whole time. 582 00:45:34,704 --> 00:45:38,108 No, Anna, no, I-I didn't know. 583 00:45:38,142 --> 00:45:41,079 Okay, this is so fucked. It's ruining my life too, you know. 584 00:45:43,747 --> 00:45:45,550 I wish I could block you on it. 585 00:45:47,617 --> 00:45:48,619 No... 586 00:45:49,854 --> 00:45:51,122 No. 587 00:45:51,155 --> 00:45:52,590 No, you don't mean that. 588 00:45:52,622 --> 00:45:56,061 Ben, stop living in my past. 589 00:45:57,494 --> 00:45:59,496 I don't wanna see you again. 590 00:45:59,530 --> 00:46:01,633 - Anna, it's our past. - Ben, I'm telling you... 591 00:46:01,666 --> 00:46:02,667 - Anna, please. - Ben! 592 00:46:21,852 --> 00:46:23,555 Oh, fuck. 593 00:46:46,744 --> 00:46:50,515 Eva, how much air do I got left? 594 00:46:50,548 --> 00:46:54,486 You have six days, 11 hours and 34 minutes left. 595 00:46:56,521 --> 00:46:59,524 I'm losing my fucking mind. 596 00:47:02,626 --> 00:47:05,630 Eva, can I talk to you? 597 00:47:06,530 --> 00:47:09,734 David, I am detecting a change in body temperature. 598 00:47:09,767 --> 00:47:12,303 Ah... okay. 599 00:47:13,738 --> 00:47:17,275 I should probably tell you right now, um, I got a kid. 600 00:47:18,843 --> 00:47:22,280 My ex, she barely lets me see her anyway, so... 601 00:47:24,849 --> 00:47:26,485 Can I be honest with you? 602 00:47:27,852 --> 00:47:29,654 I-I didn't even want her. 603 00:47:30,887 --> 00:47:34,325 I thought it would... ruin everything, or... 604 00:47:35,726 --> 00:47:37,428 Not like I had anything, but... 605 00:47:37,461 --> 00:47:39,731 that's the point, you know? 606 00:47:39,764 --> 00:47:41,532 I like being alone. 607 00:47:43,401 --> 00:47:46,337 Or at least I-I used to. 608 00:47:46,369 --> 00:47:49,373 You know how this kid looks at me? 609 00:47:49,407 --> 00:47:52,744 Like I am everything. 610 00:47:56,613 --> 00:48:01,218 The thing I wanted the least wants me the most. 611 00:48:03,820 --> 00:48:05,823 I don't deserve that. 612 00:48:08,392 --> 00:48:10,762 Nah, she's better off without me. 613 00:48:12,796 --> 00:48:16,434 You know what? I deserve this. 614 00:48:18,269 --> 00:48:21,773 Hey, God, you're right. 615 00:48:21,805 --> 00:48:24,641 This makes perfect sense now. 616 00:48:24,675 --> 00:48:27,345 David, please repeat your request. 617 00:48:27,378 --> 00:48:30,914 Memory storage almost full. Deleting old files. 618 00:48:30,947 --> 00:48:33,584 Life support system unaffected. 619 00:48:37,421 --> 00:48:41,559 A spokesperson for NASA says that the satellite 620 00:48:41,592 --> 00:48:44,595 likely suffered damage to its guidance control system 621 00:48:44,628 --> 00:48:47,864 during a standard inspection and repairs operation. 622 00:49:00,845 --> 00:49:03,014 ...performing routine maintenance on the satellite 623 00:49:03,046 --> 00:49:06,251 was set to return to Earth immediately. 624 00:49:06,284 --> 00:49:07,485 Where are my cigarettes? 625 00:49:10,021 --> 00:49:11,522 I don't know, Mom. 626 00:49:15,026 --> 00:49:16,828 Where are you going, huh? 627 00:49:16,860 --> 00:49:18,829 I told you. 628 00:49:18,863 --> 00:49:23,668 I'm spending the weekend at Deb's house. 629 00:49:23,700 --> 00:49:26,003 Why do you always leave me alone? 630 00:49:26,037 --> 00:49:27,472 No, I don't. 631 00:49:32,075 --> 00:49:36,046 Your father left me. Now, you're leaving me. 632 00:49:36,079 --> 00:49:38,315 Everyone leaves me. 633 00:49:38,349 --> 00:49:39,816 It's only for the weekend, Mom. 634 00:49:39,849 --> 00:49:42,853 Fine, go. 635 00:49:42,887 --> 00:49:44,988 You don't give a shit about your mama. 636 00:49:45,021 --> 00:49:47,592 No, that's not true. 637 00:49:50,561 --> 00:49:52,997 Leave me like a lonely dog. 638 00:50:03,374 --> 00:50:05,043 I don't want you here. 639 00:50:09,479 --> 00:50:11,916 Go. 640 00:50:16,454 --> 00:50:18,356 - Hey! - What's up? 641 00:50:18,389 --> 00:50:20,791 Nothing, it's my mom again. 642 00:51:00,131 --> 00:51:02,534 Welcome. Unlocked. 643 00:51:14,711 --> 00:51:15,813 Hm. 644 00:51:41,905 --> 00:51:42,939 Hello. 645 00:51:42,972 --> 00:51:46,977 Uh, hi, I was wondering, uh... 646 00:51:48,546 --> 00:51:50,814 Yes, yes, hi. 647 00:51:50,847 --> 00:51:56,787 Um, I saw, uh, the shampoo and the conditioner in the bathroom, 648 00:51:56,820 --> 00:52:00,757 and, uh, I was just wondering maybe... 649 00:52:00,791 --> 00:52:04,062 there was any body lotion available? 650 00:52:08,932 --> 00:52:11,601 Just text my mom back if she texts me, okay? 651 00:52:11,635 --> 00:52:13,438 - And what if she calls? - Don't pick up. 652 00:52:15,238 --> 00:52:17,441 How much are you making on this? 653 00:52:17,474 --> 00:52:19,776 Enough to pay for my own place for six months. 654 00:52:19,809 --> 00:52:21,845 - Are you fucking serious? - Yeah. 655 00:52:21,878 --> 00:52:24,848 What do you think he's gonna do? 656 00:52:24,881 --> 00:52:27,552 I don't think he's gonna have a quiet night at home. 657 00:52:27,584 --> 00:52:30,521 He told me to shave my pussy and bring party dresses. 658 00:52:30,553 --> 00:52:33,057 What if he does something messed up with you? 659 00:52:33,090 --> 00:52:35,593 I don't think he's a psycho. 660 00:52:45,602 --> 00:52:46,905 Oh, fuck. 661 00:52:51,909 --> 00:52:53,577 Fuck. Oh, fuck. 662 00:52:56,814 --> 00:52:59,150 Oh... Oh, for fuck's sake. 663 00:52:59,182 --> 00:53:00,083 No. 664 00:53:02,151 --> 00:53:04,188 Oh, Jesus Christ. 665 00:53:10,927 --> 00:53:12,262 You people are gonna live forever. 666 00:53:12,296 --> 00:53:15,166 Smoking is not gonna kill you. Jesus! 667 00:53:37,555 --> 00:53:39,123 Liam? 668 00:53:39,155 --> 00:53:40,157 Liam?! 669 00:53:41,758 --> 00:53:43,126 What the...? 670 00:53:51,901 --> 00:53:53,003 Liam? 671 00:53:54,637 --> 00:53:55,973 Liam? 672 00:54:00,744 --> 00:54:01,880 Liam? 673 00:54:07,117 --> 00:54:09,120 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 674 00:54:09,153 --> 00:54:11,822 Liam? Liam? 675 00:54:14,592 --> 00:54:16,760 What? Liam? 676 00:54:16,793 --> 00:54:19,996 Dora! Dora! Dora, stop! 677 00:54:22,733 --> 00:54:26,169 Liam! Liam, no! No! 678 00:54:26,202 --> 00:54:29,606 Stop! Dora, stop! 679 00:54:38,048 --> 00:54:40,051 Liam. 680 00:54:44,787 --> 00:54:46,090 Can I help you? 681 00:54:48,157 --> 00:54:50,727 Liam, Liam. 682 00:54:51,861 --> 00:54:52,930 I've been looking for you. 683 00:54:54,097 --> 00:54:55,566 I've been looking for you. 684 00:54:58,302 --> 00:55:00,204 Hi, I'm Liam. 685 00:55:01,003 --> 00:55:05,075 Liam, show this young lady out, please. 686 00:55:05,108 --> 00:55:06,244 Can I help you? 687 00:55:07,711 --> 00:55:10,148 Good bye, Nina. 688 00:55:37,374 --> 00:55:39,810 - Magda? - Yes. 689 00:55:39,843 --> 00:55:41,012 Come in. 690 00:55:58,327 --> 00:56:00,864 I've prepared him now, he's ready to go. 691 00:56:00,898 --> 00:56:02,332 Strip down, please. 692 00:56:06,035 --> 00:56:09,206 Take off your clothes. I need to prep you. 693 00:56:25,122 --> 00:56:27,291 You are basically just going to sleep 694 00:56:27,323 --> 00:56:30,327 while his mind takes over your body. 695 00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:33,164 He will be fully in control of your motor functions. 696 00:56:35,765 --> 00:56:36,434 Um... 697 00:56:38,102 --> 00:56:41,072 Uh, what if he does something very stupid 698 00:56:41,104 --> 00:56:43,206 and I get hurt? 699 00:56:43,240 --> 00:56:44,842 What if I die? 700 00:56:50,347 --> 00:56:52,917 If you die, he dies. 701 00:56:53,983 --> 00:56:56,352 That would be unlikely. 702 00:56:56,385 --> 00:56:59,756 But remember, you signed all paperwork. 703 00:56:59,789 --> 00:57:01,726 So if he did something to hurt you... 704 00:57:03,392 --> 00:57:05,963 it would cost him a lot of money. 705 00:57:09,900 --> 00:57:11,869 We've never had any cases 706 00:57:11,901 --> 00:57:13,737 that things go horribly wrong. 707 00:57:15,037 --> 00:57:16,840 You're just basically taking a nap 708 00:57:16,874 --> 00:57:19,877 and waking up a little richer. 709 00:57:21,845 --> 00:57:25,082 Okay. Do it. 710 00:58:03,287 --> 00:58:05,256 Hey. 711 00:58:05,289 --> 00:58:06,758 Hey! 712 00:58:08,025 --> 00:58:09,260 It's done. 713 00:58:30,847 --> 00:58:32,949 I smell so good. 714 00:58:32,983 --> 00:58:34,985 Hello. Hi! 715 00:58:38,588 --> 00:58:40,857 You will wake up in 48 hours. 716 00:58:47,296 --> 00:58:50,133 Wait, are you not taking my body somewhere? 717 00:58:50,166 --> 00:58:52,803 You are your own responsibility. 718 00:59:05,381 --> 00:59:08,519 You are not authorized. 719 00:59:19,061 --> 00:59:21,030 Hi. 720 00:59:21,064 --> 00:59:24,101 Um, I can't seem to get into my room. 721 00:59:25,501 --> 00:59:30,139 - And what room are you in? - Three-five-three. 722 00:59:30,173 --> 00:59:32,043 All right, let me check. 723 00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:40,016 It looks like there is only one person on the room. 724 00:59:40,050 --> 00:59:43,586 - Pawel... - Pawel Novac. 725 00:59:43,619 --> 00:59:47,023 It's my dad... I guess. 726 00:59:48,325 --> 00:59:50,061 You guess? 727 00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:53,496 It's my dad. 728 00:59:53,530 --> 00:59:56,499 Okay, look, I'm not supposed to let anyone in 729 00:59:56,532 --> 00:59:58,067 who's not on the list. 730 00:59:58,101 --> 01:00:01,939 But you don't look like you're going to kill anyone. 731 01:00:06,977 --> 01:00:10,981 If you need anything, just let me know. 732 01:00:11,014 --> 01:00:12,082 Thanks. 733 01:01:10,673 --> 01:01:13,177 Hmm, no. 734 01:01:13,209 --> 01:01:15,246 Definitely no. 735 01:01:20,517 --> 01:01:22,053 All right. 736 01:01:24,553 --> 01:01:26,222 Mm. 737 01:01:26,256 --> 01:01:27,391 Mm-hmm. 738 01:02:08,465 --> 01:02:10,133 - Hi. - Hello. 739 01:02:12,202 --> 01:02:14,303 It's weird weather, huh? 740 01:02:14,336 --> 01:02:15,338 Yeah. 741 01:02:17,340 --> 01:02:19,209 Your, uh, daddy's out late. 742 01:02:21,378 --> 01:02:24,213 - What's happening? - What do you mean? 743 01:02:24,247 --> 01:02:26,483 I don't know, parties? 744 01:02:26,515 --> 01:02:29,119 It's late. You know, everything's closing up. 745 01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:33,490 Can I have a cigarette? 746 01:02:46,769 --> 01:02:49,206 Though I do know of a party. 747 01:02:49,238 --> 01:02:51,641 It's an after-hours type thing. You don't need ID. 748 01:02:51,675 --> 01:02:54,711 But you don't really look like the type of person 749 01:02:54,744 --> 01:02:58,215 - that might enjoy it. - No, I wanna go. 750 01:02:58,247 --> 01:03:00,217 I'll tell you what, I get off in half an hour. 751 01:03:00,249 --> 01:03:02,351 Why don't I take you? 752 01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:13,863 And I've never felt... 753 01:03:13,896 --> 01:03:17,834 more alive my entire life. 754 01:03:22,238 --> 01:03:24,407 And I don't mean that in a good way. 755 01:03:29,678 --> 01:03:33,650 Eva, new voice memo. 756 01:03:33,682 --> 01:03:35,585 Voice recording initiated. 757 01:03:35,619 --> 01:03:38,655 So this next part's not for you. 758 01:03:38,688 --> 01:03:40,356 It's for my daughter. 759 01:03:45,195 --> 01:03:46,197 Emma... 760 01:03:48,564 --> 01:03:49,733 Emma... 761 01:03:52,668 --> 01:03:55,638 I've made sure that, uh, 762 01:03:55,671 --> 01:03:58,409 all the stars are shining for you... 763 01:03:59,675 --> 01:04:03,680 every night, when you look up into the sky. 764 01:04:06,448 --> 01:04:09,352 I'm the space janitor, see, 765 01:04:09,385 --> 01:04:11,322 for the entire galaxy, so... 766 01:04:12,789 --> 01:04:14,525 That's what I do. 767 01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:21,465 Whenever you see a star twinkling... 768 01:04:23,499 --> 01:04:27,704 that would me just changing a bulb. 769 01:04:32,909 --> 01:04:34,811 I love you forever. 770 01:04:38,481 --> 01:04:42,319 - Eva, stop recording. - David, please repeat. 771 01:04:43,753 --> 01:04:44,854 Eva? 772 01:04:44,887 --> 01:04:47,690 David, please repeat. 773 01:04:47,724 --> 01:04:50,526 Oh, God, no. 774 01:04:50,559 --> 01:04:53,296 Don't leave me. Please don't leave me. 775 01:05:43,046 --> 01:05:44,281 Do you believe in God? 776 01:05:46,715 --> 01:05:47,650 No. 777 01:05:49,586 --> 01:05:50,721 Me neither. 778 01:05:52,756 --> 01:05:54,458 I do believe in goat people. 779 01:05:55,724 --> 01:05:57,560 Goat peeps. 780 01:05:59,329 --> 01:06:01,698 Stay tuned for late breaking news. 781 01:06:03,999 --> 01:06:05,635 And now following up 782 01:06:05,668 --> 01:06:07,703 on the new strain of the coronavirus 783 01:06:07,736 --> 01:06:10,573 that has been discovered in the US Virgin Islands. 784 01:06:10,606 --> 01:06:15,845 This is the third resurgence and mutation of this virus since the COVID-19 pandemic. 785 01:06:15,878 --> 01:06:18,914 The WHO has officially registered it as COVID-28. 786 01:06:18,947 --> 01:06:21,050 The public is being warned not to panic, 787 01:06:21,084 --> 01:06:23,687 as the CDC states the strain is not expected 788 01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:26,823 to rise to the levels anywhere close to the 2020 pandemic. 789 01:06:26,856 --> 01:06:28,558 Citizens have, however, 790 01:06:28,590 --> 01:06:30,493 begun prepping for another year of lockdown. 791 01:06:30,526 --> 01:06:32,729 There are reports of rioting and looting, 792 01:06:32,762 --> 01:06:35,399 and some governors have started enacting serious measures 793 01:06:35,432 --> 01:06:37,534 by shutting down state borders. 794 01:06:37,566 --> 01:06:40,336 This, combined with recent outages in electricity... 795 01:07:29,452 --> 01:07:30,387 You shy? 796 01:08:48,764 --> 01:08:51,700 Hey. You found my little flower girl. 797 01:08:51,733 --> 01:08:53,068 Oh, you know her? 798 01:08:53,102 --> 01:08:54,537 - Yeah. - She's with me now. 799 01:08:54,571 --> 01:08:56,072 What? 800 01:08:56,104 --> 01:08:58,508 Lara, you're fucking teasing me now. 801 01:08:58,540 --> 01:09:01,143 Oh, don't be a dick, Vincent. 802 01:09:01,177 --> 01:09:03,146 I'm just dancing. I'm trying to have fun, you know. 803 01:09:03,179 --> 01:09:05,582 Oh, shit. 804 01:09:05,615 --> 01:09:06,849 Can you get us a room? 805 01:09:06,883 --> 01:09:10,187 We're sold out, but, uh, Magda has a room. 806 01:09:11,821 --> 01:09:13,857 - Uh... - Come on. 807 01:09:21,897 --> 01:09:24,733 Come on, hurry up! You don't have to hide a dead body. 808 01:09:27,603 --> 01:09:29,106 Just a minute. 809 01:09:34,777 --> 01:09:36,780 - Mm. - Mm. 810 01:09:41,150 --> 01:09:42,117 Uh-oh. 811 01:09:45,854 --> 01:09:48,592 - Ooh... - Oh, wow, you're a dirty girl, huh. 812 01:09:48,625 --> 01:09:50,627 - Hey! Don't! No, no! - Hey, Lara, 813 01:09:50,660 --> 01:09:52,229 yours is bigger, no? 814 01:09:52,262 --> 01:09:54,531 It's my dad's. 815 01:09:54,563 --> 01:09:56,532 Your dad's? 816 01:09:58,201 --> 01:09:59,970 Your dad's a little pervert, huh? 817 01:10:00,003 --> 01:10:01,838 You should invite him to the party. 818 01:10:01,870 --> 01:10:05,007 Sounds like a real gentleman, you know? 819 01:10:06,276 --> 01:10:08,945 And what are you hiding in your closet, Vincent? 820 01:10:08,978 --> 01:10:10,881 - Nothing. - Oh, really? 821 01:10:10,914 --> 01:10:12,948 Come on, so you have a bag of dildos. 822 01:10:12,982 --> 01:10:15,619 Come on, have some fun. Fun, fun! 823 01:10:15,652 --> 01:10:17,087 Come on. 824 01:10:22,058 --> 01:10:23,560 Take some of this. 825 01:10:26,295 --> 01:10:28,831 Uh-uh, uh-uh. Don't give her K, asshole. 826 01:10:28,865 --> 01:10:31,668 What? It's not K. 827 01:10:31,701 --> 01:10:33,203 I wanna try it. Fuck it. 828 01:10:33,236 --> 01:10:34,638 See? That's the spirit. 829 01:10:34,670 --> 01:10:36,874 Here. Here. 830 01:10:40,576 --> 01:10:41,644 Here. 831 01:10:45,814 --> 01:10:47,284 Oh, ho, ho, hey... 832 01:10:49,285 --> 01:10:50,320 Hey, leave her. 833 01:10:50,353 --> 01:10:52,789 She likes girls. 834 01:10:52,821 --> 01:10:53,823 So do I. 835 01:11:14,277 --> 01:11:16,813 I want... water. 836 01:11:16,845 --> 01:11:18,214 Please. 837 01:11:45,842 --> 01:11:47,710 Fuck! 838 01:11:51,347 --> 01:11:53,250 - Bitch! - No, no... 839 01:12:21,443 --> 01:12:23,045 See what you made me fucking do. 840 01:12:23,079 --> 01:12:25,048 What the fuck? 841 01:12:26,749 --> 01:12:27,751 Just get out! 842 01:12:45,101 --> 01:12:47,304 You're fucking 17? 843 01:12:51,206 --> 01:12:52,142 Okay. 844 01:12:54,143 --> 01:12:56,279 Okay. Okay. 845 01:12:56,312 --> 01:12:58,180 Okay. It's gonna be okay. 846 01:12:58,214 --> 01:13:00,283 Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be okay. 847 01:14:04,312 --> 01:14:06,215 Oh, my God. 848 01:14:28,237 --> 01:14:29,539 Warning! Warning! 849 01:14:29,571 --> 01:14:31,907 This is a national emergency broadcast. 850 01:14:31,941 --> 01:14:33,409 This is not a test. 851 01:14:33,442 --> 01:14:35,979 I repeat, this is not a test. 852 01:14:36,012 --> 01:14:37,112 We urge all citizens... 853 01:14:39,982 --> 01:14:43,153 This is not a test. I repeat, this is not a test. 854 01:14:48,424 --> 01:14:50,293 Hey, you gotta pay for that! 855 01:14:52,460 --> 01:14:54,396 Give me one! I need to talk to God. 856 01:14:54,429 --> 01:14:57,332 Hey, it's not genuine, I painted him last night. 857 01:14:57,366 --> 01:14:59,369 Good luck with your thoughts and prayers, man. 858 01:16:19,080 --> 01:16:20,916 Are you okay? 859 01:16:24,452 --> 01:16:26,156 Where are your parents? 860 01:16:29,959 --> 01:16:31,628 What's your name, sweetie? 861 01:16:33,161 --> 01:16:36,298 - Emma. - Let's go sit, okay? 862 01:17:29,451 --> 01:17:31,588 So this is how it ends. 863 01:17:34,656 --> 01:17:38,126 They say every end is a new beginning, 864 01:17:38,160 --> 01:17:39,496 but that ain't true. 865 01:17:41,030 --> 01:17:44,334 People just say that 'cause they wanna feel better. 866 01:17:44,366 --> 01:17:48,604 It's easier to live in an illusion than it is in reality. 867 01:17:50,606 --> 01:17:54,143 What is this thing called "love" anyway? 868 01:17:54,175 --> 01:17:56,079 Did I ever give enough of it? 869 01:17:58,580 --> 01:18:00,082 Does anyone? 870 01:18:03,184 --> 01:18:06,155 I thought everything made sense, 871 01:18:06,187 --> 01:18:08,657 but none of this does now. 872 01:18:10,326 --> 01:18:12,328 I thought I was in control. 873 01:18:12,361 --> 01:18:14,564 But I'm not. 874 01:18:17,299 --> 01:18:21,237 How the hell am I the last man alive? 875 01:18:22,571 --> 01:18:25,008 How the hell has that happened? 876 01:18:32,281 --> 01:18:34,017 Emma. 877 01:18:37,286 --> 01:18:40,423 Recording interrupted. 878 01:18:40,455 --> 01:18:43,659 David, you have run out of storage space. 879 01:18:48,464 --> 01:18:50,533 Last saved recording. 880 01:18:50,566 --> 01:18:54,304 Whenever you see a star twinkling... 881 01:18:56,304 --> 01:19:00,376 that would be me just changing a bulb. 882 01:19:04,513 --> 01:19:06,282 I love you forever. 883 01:19:07,482 --> 01:19:09,485 I love you forever. 884 01:19:10,553 --> 01:19:12,188 I love you for... 885 01:19:19,128 --> 01:19:21,130 I love you, too. 886 01:19:46,222 --> 01:19:50,226 David, this is God. 887 01:19:50,259 --> 01:19:53,763 I know you think I didn't, but I did hear your prayers. 888 01:19:53,795 --> 01:19:57,700 I'm sorry, it's been pretty hectic around here. 889 01:19:57,732 --> 01:19:59,668 But I'm here for you now. 890 01:19:59,701 --> 01:20:02,371 My child, how may I help you? 891 01:20:03,772 --> 01:20:06,576 Are you fucking kidding me? 892 01:20:10,782 --> 01:20:15,782 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull