1
00:00:02,959 --> 00:00:08,659
[Boy]: I tried to reach
for the stars, but now
I'm alone, and lost.

2
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:12,014
I wish I had never left my
friends at the orphanage.

3
00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:15,315
[Trudy]: Oh, that was very,
very good sweetie.

4
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,803
-I got chills,
I think he's perfect.

5
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:20,323
-[Gerry]: Are you guys kidding?
Are you kidding?

6
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,668
-Mr. Duncan, we're right in
the middle of auditions.

7
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:25,158
-We're selling tickets to this,
people are expecting talent.

8
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:27,239
-[Dwyer]: Mr. Duncan,
it's for the kids.

9
00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:30,028
-[Gerry]: Give me your hand.
-[Dwyer]: We don't got time
for this right now.

10
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:33,563
-Oh wait, I think I would
like to see this actually.

11
00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:37,778
-[Gerry]: Stand there, watch.
I'll show you how to act.
[Gerry clears his throat]

12
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:42,830
What? This can't be a circus.
There's nobody here.

13
00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:47,048
I tried to reach for the stars,
but now I'm alone and lost,
like a leaf.

14
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,090
Blowing.

15
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,748
I should have never
left that orphanage.

16
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:55,972
-[Dwyer laughs]: Thanks for
coming, that was fun.

17
00:00:56,012 --> 00:01:00,802
-That's the commitment you
need to give and you guys
need to watch for.

18
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:05,763
See the emotion, the passion,
the head down when I did it.
The hands...

19
00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:10,114
The feel of me doing it real.
-We really gotta move
on Mr. Duncan.

20
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:12,247
-I should be in this play.
I should be in this.

21
00:01:12,289 --> 00:01:14,119
-[Eva]: I think we're
going to go with Ron.

22
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:16,161
-You're gonna go with Ron?
Ron the wooden...

23
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:20,123
That? You're gonna go with that?

24
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:24,077
That's gonna be fun to watch.
I'm a leaf. Like come on.

25
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:28,997
-Yeah, listen, that leaf isn't
the only thing that blows
by the way Gerry.

26
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:32,395
-That's not funny Trudy.
We're all just trying to
do our best here.

27
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,180
♪ Music.

28
00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:38,135
♪ I'm awesome.
No you're not dude, don't lie.

29
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,835
♪ I'm awesome. I'm driving
around in my mom's ride.

30
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:43,193
♪ I'm awesome.
A quarter of my life gone by.

31
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,930
♪ I'm awesome.

32
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,286
-Hey, are you still in world
religions?

33
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:53,548
I finished that unit weeks ago.

34
00:01:53,591 --> 00:01:55,591
-Teaching's not a race.

35
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:58,467
-Uh huh, it's a pretty hard
subject to teach. Really tough.

36
00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,769
-No it's not, because God
created everything. Simple.

37
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,856
-Callaghan is actually really
strict about not letting

38
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:04,985
personal beliefs get in the way.

39
00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:06,867
-Well, I never let my own
personal beliefs get in the way

40
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:09,219
because I am professional.

41
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,169
Which is why I've never said
anything about your...

42
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,870
Nose...and...lips.

43
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:18,093
-Thanks.

44
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,671
-Big day tomorrow.
Big five-eight. Huh?

45
00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:26,708
-What a coincidence, it's
Callaghan's 58th birthday too.

46
00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:29,625
-Haha, burn.

47
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,761
Good one. Did you get
him a present yet?

48
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,893
-Yup!
-Nothing fancy though right?

49
00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:36,026
-Nope.
-'Cause that's what he said.

50
00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:38,378
Nothing fancy. So, I think for
his birthday, we should just get

51
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,509
what he wants for his birthday.
Which is nothing fancy.

52
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,421
'Cause that's what I got him.
Is that what you got him?

53
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,426
Trudy...Trudy...Trudy!
-Robert, will you relax?

54
00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,908
-I am relaxed.

55
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:49,559
-I kept it small. So you don't
need to be intimidated.

56
00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:52,084
-Good! Nothing fancy.

57
00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:58,961
-Religions of the world.

58
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:04,272
Christianity, [Catholic],
Muslim and Jew.

59
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:09,891
Yes, Maya?
-Sir, I'm pretty sure there's
more than three religions.

60
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:12,368
-Would you like to teach this?
-Will I get paid what
you get paid?

61
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:15,329
-No, 'cause you can go to
university for seven years
to learn this.

62
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:18,069
And be trained as a teacher.
Thank you.

63
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,200
Now, if the pope here would
let me finish.

64
00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:22,253
Yes, there are other religions
of the world.

65
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:25,209
But they are silly, or created
by crazy people.

66
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,558
So we don't talk about them
or believe in them.

67
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:32,258
Your job this unit is to do
a presentation on a religion.

68
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:34,869
I am suggesting the first one.

69
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:38,390
Specifically Catholicism, which
is a branch of Christianity.

70
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:41,605
Because that's the most popular
and the biggest. How popular?

71
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:46,136
Jesus was Jewish and even he
was Catholic. Think about that.

72
00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:48,532
-Sir?
-Yes.

73
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:51,266
-Is it alright if I do my
presentation on Atheism?
-Atheism? No!

74
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,798
That's nothing, are you going
to do a presentation on
nothing Lewis?

75
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:55,932
-Sir, I'm an Atheist.
It's what I believe.

76
00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:58,724
-Okay, that's what you believe?
Then you do your presentation
on nothing.

77
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:03,160
Your mark will be nothing. And!
You will go to hell. I promise.

78
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:06,639
Okay, so let's dig into
the text books, start
looking at the religions.

79
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:10,211
And pick the one that
you think you want to
present on, let's go.

80
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:18,519
'Cause I believe in god,
Father Almighty.

81
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:21,302
Creator of heaven and earth.

82
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,698
I believe in Jesus Christ.
-Sir.

83
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:27,311
-His only son, our Lord was
born to the virgin Mary.

84
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:30,404
He suffered under
Pontius Pilate.

85
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:34,494
Was crucified, died
and was buried.

86
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:38,365
He ascended to the dead and
on the third day he rose again.

87
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:44,018
You get more Lewis.
And you get a little extra too.

88
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:46,806
That's what I'm talking about.
♪ Music

89
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,981
-[Woman]: Um, excuse me.
-Yes?

90
00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:53,337
-Can you tell me where the
main office is?...Office?

91
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:56,600
-Sure, sorry, ah right
down there to the right.
Are you a sub?

92
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:59,734
-Yeah, I'm Danni Burlon.
-Hi...Danni.

93
00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:02,257
-[Simon]: Hello.
-Hi.

94
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:06,742
-I'm Simon. If you need
anything please let me know.

95
00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:09,004
-Thanks Simon.
-I'm Simon.

96
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:15,184
-Thanks guys.
-[Gerry]: Okay, Danni.

97
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:21,672
-Cheese and crackers.
I call dibs.

98
00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:24,542
-Dibs? Simon, Danni is a guy
that had a sex change.

99
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:27,755
Did you not see that?
-[Simon]: What on earth are you
talking about?

100
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:30,365
Look at that butt! Look at that
hair. She's wearing lipstick,
Gerry!

101
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,327
-Simon, did you see
the turtleneck?
-Turtleneck?

102
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,675
-To cover the Adam's apple.
-What?

103
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,805
-That's what she's doing.
-That's not what turtlenecks
are for.

104
00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:39,158
-Ask her to pull her
turtleneck down.
-I would never do that.

105
00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:42,038
-Pull it down yourself, you'll
see a big lump right there.
-I would never do that.

106
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,210
I don't have an Adam's apple.
-Check it out.

107
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:46,036
-You're just jealous because
I called dibs first.
-No!

108
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:48,394
-[Robert]: Dibs on what?
The sub?

109
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,305
I wouldn't mind making a
cold cut combo on that sub.

110
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,440
-Aright, okay...no.
-Gerry, I already called dibs.

111
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,573
-Are you serious?
I didn't hear you.

112
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,746
-You have to respect my dibs.
-Rookie, see you out there.

113
00:05:57,792 --> 00:06:00,102
Simon, meet the pieman.

114
00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:03,192
And you, stay out of this.
Quiet time.

115
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:06,102
-Do not cut my grass.
Don't cut my grass.

116
00:06:06,148 --> 00:06:09,278
-It's a guy. You guys
are fighting over a man.

117
00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:12,015
That is out of both of
your leagues, by the way.

118
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:16,327
-Atheism is accepted by
many different forms of
religion. Like Jainism...

119
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,116
-[Gerry]: Hence Lewis' earrings.

120
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:22,341
-Hinduism and Buddhism...
-Hippy religions.

121
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,252
-And various different types
of Neopaganism like Wicca.

122
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,337
-Okay, you know what? That's
great, that's enough.

123
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,777
This is turning into a gong show
here. You just making stuff up
now?

124
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:34,045
This is world religions,
not some creative writing
thing you're doing.

125
00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:36,349
-Sir, please, I put a lot
of research into this.

126
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,436
-Well then you should have
studied that God exists.

127
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:41,525
And that he's all powerful.
Biggest power. Nothing's bigger.

128
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:45,705
-Okay, supposing God does
exist and that he is, in fact,
all powerful then tell me this:

129
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:49,283
Can he make a rock so heavy
that he can't pick it up?

130
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,761
-Obviously.
-So he can't pick it up then?

131
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:54,112
-No, he can pick it up.

132
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,632
-But then he failed in
making a rock so heavy
he can't pick it up.

133
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,897
-What? He can't...

134
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:05,083
-Get out, get out.
-I didn't say anything.

135
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,860
-It's not a question first of
all, it's some sort of circular
thing you're doing.

136
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:12,206
-Sir, it's called a paradox.
-It's called a paradox,
thank you.

137
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:15,297
-Sir, maybe you and Lewis
should have a debate.

138
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:17,697
-Yeah Maya, 'cause I got nothing
better to do then just debate

139
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:19,921
Lewis about something
that doesn't even exist.

140
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:22,961
-Oh, Sir I'm sorry if my
paradox scared you.

141
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:25,137
-Scared me.

142
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:31,708
Fine, the debate is on.
How's that for a paradox?

143
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:34,275
Haha, you can stay.

144
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:36,243
♪ Music.

145
00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:39,204
Surprise!

146
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,981
-Oh come on guys,
I told you not to go crazy.

147
00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:45,124
-Happy Birthday Sir.
-The big five-eight huh?

148
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:51,075
-I know you said no presents,
but I couldn't help myself.

149
00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:53,652
You are a source of inspiration
to me every single day in here.

150
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:59,090
And I hope it's okay,
but I took the liberty of
putting it down on paper.

151
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:02,530
Just what you mean to me in
this piece of original artwork.

152
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:06,489
Pecs...just read it.

153
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:12,618
-Is this a poem Robert?
-Three back to back haikus.

154
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,536
-How very thoughtful.

155
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:16,841
-Thank you.

156
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,717
-I got you a little
something too, Sir.

157
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,849
-Now, Trudy.

158
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:23,371
Oh my God. A diving watch.

159
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:26,285
-Oh, it's just a little
something. So you like it.

160
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:30,771
-I'm speechless, I mean Trudy,
this is the most thoughtful gift
anyone has ever given me.

161
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,954
-Well, you're worth it Sir.

162
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:37,255
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

163
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:41,912
-Happy Birthday.

164
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:43,866
-Oh, look, I'll read
the poem Robert.

165
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:46,574
♪ Music

166
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:50,273
-[Gerry whispers]: Hey Father.
How's it going?

167
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:54,582
Ah, not sure if you remember me
but I coach at Xavier Academy.

168
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:57,841
You did a prayer for my girls'
basketball team one day.

169
00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:59,965
-Yes, I remember you.
-Yeah, I was the coach.

170
00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:02,977
Ahhh, nice.
-Wait, is this your parish?

171
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,110
-Ahhh...

172
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:08,723
-Because I don't recall
seeing you at mass, ev...

173
00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:11,195
[Duck quack noise]
-[Gerry]: That's my phone.
One second.

174
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:14,816
[More quack noise]
-[Gerry]: I gotta take this
Father, give me one second.

175
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:20,468
-[Gerry quietly]: Hello.
What's up buddy?
[Laughs]

176
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:23,606
I know. I know, I heard.
-[Father]: Give me strength.

177
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:27,440
-That's awesome.
We're gonna get drunk.

178
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:29,609
What do you mean it's shut down?
We'll go to the other one.

179
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:32,176
I don't know where it is.

180
00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:34,053
Hold on. Father, do you
know that liquor store...

181
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:36,175
-Are you here for
confession or not?

182
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:39,617
-Hold on one sec.
Ah, no, no, no.

183
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:44,236
First of all, you know who I am
now, so I can't tell ya my sins.

184
00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:46,629
-Why are you here?

185
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:52,503
-Well, I have a student in my
class, he's atheist and I gotta
prove to him that god exists.

186
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:55,288
Do you have any pointers
on how do I prove it?

187
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:59,253
-Well if there were definitive
proof then we wouldn't need
faith.

188
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,694
We would just believe.

189
00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:05,951
-Yeah, okay Father, this kid's
really smart, I can't just give
him some lame stuff like that.

190
00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:08,606
Do you know anything about
a rock? He's always talking
about a rock.

191
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:11,311
-No, no my son.
-Yeah! He's up on
the my son stuff.

192
00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:14,789
I think that's the language
that's getting priests in
trouble. Call me Gerry.

193
00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:18,401
Tell me about the rock.
Father?

194
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:23,232
♪ Music.
[Gerry whistles for the priest]

195
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:27,019
♪ Music.

196
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:32,198
-Mr. Leung, I need a
book on the life of God.

197
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,590
-Mr. Melvil Dewey will be happy
to help you.

198
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,034
Learn his system, and you'll
find what you need.

199
00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:39,681
-I don't know who that is and
he's not the librarian, you are.

200
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:42,376
So can you just tell me where
I can find a book about God?

201
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,914
-May I suggest you read the
best selling book of all time?

202
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:47,688
-Oh, okay, Harry Potter?
That's gonna help.

203
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:50,044
-[Leung]: The Bible.

204
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:53,964
-Not the book God wrote.
I want a book about his life.

205
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,571
-I don't know anything
about your God.

206
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:58,702
-What do you mean about my God?
It's our God.

207
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,095
-I practice Shenism-Taoism.

208
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:04,098
-Terrorism? Doesn't
surprise me at all.

209
00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:06,881
-I think you need to read.
Period.

210
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:12,185
-[Robert hisses]
Ooh la la.

211
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:16,888
Happy Birthday and one day.
[Purrs]

212
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,847
-Oh my God.
-What is that?

213
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:22,326
-It's chinchilla.
-[Trudy laughs]

214
00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:24,547
-I just thought this says
happy birthday in ways
that my card didn't.

215
00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:26,896
So happy birthday.

216
00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:30,117
-Robert, in what universe,
do you think that I would
wear a full length fur coat?

217
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,077
-It also comes in three quarter.

218
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:39,477
Nice going Trudy.
-Well, I guess you're gonna
have to take that back.

219
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:42,014
-I can't Trudy. That's the
thing.

220
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:45,179
-But good for you. You must be
awfully proud of yourself.

221
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,356
-Why?
-Well, because you were trying
to outdo me and you did.

222
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:51,152
Yay Trudy.
-I'm not trying to
outdo you Robert.

223
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,928
He lost that watch two
years ago on a diving trip.

224
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:56,244
He likes my gift because
it was thoughtful.

225
00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:00,460
-Really? Then what was my poem?
-Your poem was...cheap.

226
00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:02,592
But that coat wasn't
cheap was it Robert?

227
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,514
[Robert hisses]
[Trudy laughs]

228
00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:09,686
-Hey Bobbi.
-Mmmhmm.

229
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,769
-See the sub? It's a guy.

230
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,474
-What?
-It's a guy.

231
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:19,647
-What are you? 12?
-Just take a look. Look!

232
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:22,785
-Take a look, seriously.
-No, it is very clearly
a woman, Gerry.

233
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,699
-Well, you're not
the best judge.

234
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,314
-What did you say?

235
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,525
-Yeah, thought so.
-[Simon]: Hey Bobbi.

236
00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:31,624
-Hey Simon.

237
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:34,013
-Oh, like what you see Gerry?

238
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,927
Get a nice eyeful,
'cause that's my girl.

239
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:40,153
-It's a guy Simon.
-Oh, if it's a guy, then why is
she going on a date with me?

240
00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:42,074
-You gotta be kidding me.
You didn't ask her out.

241
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:45,289
-Oh, I asked her and she agreed.
Props up top.

242
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,849
-Have you seen 'The Crying
Game'?
-No, good movie?

243
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:50,467
-Just follow my lead here.
Hey!
-[Danni]: Hey guys.

244
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:53,248
-Why don't you join us?
-Can't, gotta get
to my next class.

245
00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:56,254
-[Simon and Gerry]: Oh.
-[Gerry]: Is that a drip?

246
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,467
-Where?
-It's right above your head.

247
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:01,216
-Where? Do you feel a drip?
Where is there a drip?

248
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,828
-There's a drip.
-[Simon]: Where do
you see a drip?

249
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,310
-Look up. Look Up.
-[Simon]: I don't see it.
Guide my eyes.

250
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,570
-I don't see anything.
-[Gerry]: Look, there's a drip.

251
00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:10,923
-Look, I've really got
to get to my next class.
-[Gerry]: Okay.

252
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:14,274
-[Simon]: Where's the drip?
-[Danni]: But if I see anything,
I'll let someone know.

253
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:17,925
See you tonight Simon?
-See you tonight.

254
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:20,891
-There's no drip Simon.
-What?

255
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:23,190
-Okay, I wanted to see if
she had an Adam's apple.

256
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:25,497
I was trying to get her
to expose her neck.

257
00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:27,763
But she kept looking up with me,
then looking down with me.

258
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,807
You've really got to see
'The Crying Game' before
you go on this date.

259
00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:32,993
-[Simon]: I'm gonna watch
that movie. Funny?

260
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:35,599
-Yeah. You'll both enjoy it.
She might be in it.

261
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:39,380
♪ Music

262
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,517
-I've never seen
you read before.

263
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:44,909
-I don't know how this is the
best selling book of all time.

264
00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:47,134
-What do you know about
debating? Let alone religion?

265
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,874
-Okay, I know a lot about
religion, because I was
raised very Catholic.

266
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:52,006
We went to church every Sunday.

267
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:55,228
So I know all the sayings,
all the responses. For instance:

268
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,449
Lord have mercy, then you say,
Christ have mercy.

269
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,578
Then you gotta come
back to Lord have mercy.

270
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,711
You wouldn't know that.
-I do not know that.

271
00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:03,843
What does it mean?
-I don't know.

272
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:05,926
-This is going to be a disaster.
-I'm in trouble.

273
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:08,105
-I think you are in trouble, you
have no chance against this kid.

274
00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:10,551
-I'll call in sick.
-You know what you could do?

275
00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:12,758
Remember your strategy from
teacher's college for
presentations?

276
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,978
All style, no substance.
Yes! You could do that.

277
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:18,028
You have no substance. You could
just, like, put on a little
smoke and mirrors show.

278
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:20,124
A little razzle dazzle.
-Big show.

279
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,993
-A little David Blaine, right?
-Yeah...who?
-David Blaine.

280
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:24,165
-Who's that?
-He's a magician.

281
00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:26,301
-Get him to come in.
-Oh yeah, do your presentation?

282
00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:28,693
-Call him.
-He's famous, he's on TV.

283
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:31,127
-Well then, why are
you bringing him up?
-To help inspire, for the show.

284
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,744
-Don't tell me you can get
him if you can't get him
Who brings up somebody

285
00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:36,265
and then says I can't get them?
-Are you serious?
♪ Music

286
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:40,100
-You got me all excited.
You said David Blaine,
like I'll get David Blaine.

287
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:42,490
♪ Music

288
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:49,853
[Lewis]: Oh, and um, so...that
is why I don't believe in God.

289
00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:53,148
I don't believe in God.

290
00:14:56,199 --> 00:15:01,159
-Yes! Clap. Thank you my son
for not believing in me.

291
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:05,694
But how foolish are you?
I am here in front of you.

292
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:08,520
Do not listen to that man.
Follow me.

293
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:12,739
Follow me on Twitter as well,
if you like. I'm everywhere.

294
00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:17,701
You cannot deny that Jesus
is standing in front of you.

295
00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:22,532
I am also, God,
the Father of Jesus, and

296
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:26,533
I am the Holy Spirit as well,
three things into one.

297
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,797
Which is confusing,
I understand.

298
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,230
But I am here for
you my children.

299
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:34,928
Do not listen to evil,
non-believers follow me.

300
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,367
You must be Jimmy.

301
00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:43,554
'Cause God, slash Jesus, slash
Holy Spirit knows everyone.

302
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:46,734
You believe in me, my son?
-I will for an A in the class.

303
00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:49,601
-You will never
get an A, my son.

304
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:52,264
You are stupid.
Get out Jimmy.

305
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:56,389
Go to the gates of Hell! Die!
-Would Jesus do that?

306
00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,573
-Just get out, would you? You're
screwing up the whole story.

307
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,440
I'm doing a presentation.

308
00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:07,883
That was Satan also known as
Jimmy. Satan is an A-hole.

309
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:14,063
Amen to that. But I am real.
My blood is for you.

310
00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:18,853
I have died for you,
I have come back etc., etc.

311
00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:26,675
You will not betray me,
Jesus Christ, the son
of God, who exists.

312
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,212
[Gerry whispers]: I win.

313
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:35,732
[Whispers]: It's just ketchup,
don't worry about it.

314
00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:41,347
In the name of me, and me
and me and me, amen.

315
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,052
[Callaghan]: Look, Duncan,
I shouldn't have to tell you,

316
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:47,311
you don't bring your personal
beliefs into the school.

317
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,444
-They're everyone's beliefs.

318
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:52,046
-It is Xavier's policy...

319
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:56,448
Come on, I can't yell at you
when you're dressed like that.

320
00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,893
-Is that better?

321
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:02,800
-You are going to write the
parent of every student in
that class and apologize.

322
00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:05,197
-Why don't I just write one...?

323
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:08,981
-Xavier accepts every religious
faith, without bias.

324
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,768
-You know the teachings of
my religion are forgiveness.

325
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,163
-Thank you. Go.

326
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:17,037
-That's a lot of writing Sir,
but Jesus can do it.

327
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:22,614
-Get out!
-Good luck when you die Sir.

328
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,482
-[Gerry]: Hey Trudy.
-[Trudy]: Hey my Lord.

329
00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:29,664
♪ Music

330
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:32,050
-[Robert]: Sir, pardon me?

331
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:35,584
After careful consideration
and a little bit of research,

332
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:39,319
I think I've found, maybe, the
perfect gift worthy of the day
of your birth.

333
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,672
-Robert, this is completely
unnecessary.

334
00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:44,892
-Please, please just indulge me.
Hear me out.

335
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:51,898
It's your family tree.
-My God.

336
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,250
This is incredible.
-I mean, it's no diving watch.

337
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:59,082
It shows who all of your
relatives were, where they
lived, when they died.

338
00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:03,468
-It's very impressive, Robert.

339
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:08,827
Oopsy, look at that, your great-
grandfather died at 60. Shame.

340
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:12,790
Oh look, your great-grandmother
too, also died at 60.

341
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:18,790
In fact, ooh weird, looks
like not too many of your
ancestors made it past 60.

342
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:23,316
That's funny.
Not funny haha, obviously.

343
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,763
-It was a different time.
That's not what's important.

344
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,980
What's important is, a pretty
special person got you
a birthday gift.

345
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:34,291
Happy birthday Sir.
-Yeah, happy birthday.

346
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:38,418
-[Sings]: And many more.

347
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:42,635
-Well, at least two more,
anyway, Robert.

348
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:45,116
[Trudy laughs]: Well done.

349
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,387
-Hey! Well?
-Oh, yeah, you were right.

350
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,560
-I knew it.
-Yeah.

351
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:52,306
-Hey, Wayne, you that Dan...
-I don't care, Gerry.

352
00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:54,438
-How'd you find out?

353
00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:57,051
-Well, she came over to watch a
movie and I got my mom out

354
00:18:57,092 --> 00:18:58,922
of there by telling her some of
the guys were coming over.

355
00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:01,273
-Technically, that's true.

356
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,194
-Anyway, we're watching the
movie and we start to kiss.

357
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,539
And I felt a lump.
-A lump?

358
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:09,019
-Sure, yeah. Anyway, the movie
ends, we're out on the porch,
I'm kissing her goodnight.

359
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:12,280
She is beautiful, Gerry.
Strong hands.

360
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:15,195
French kissing is weird,
it's like little snakes
in your mouth.

361
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:18,461
Anyway, let me ask you
something, in terms of bases...

362
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,985
Does this count?

363
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:24,159
-Sure. Yes! First base baby!
You finally got there.

364
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:26,816
-Second base.
-Second? Okay. Second not third?

365
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,211
-I rounded it too,
looked at third.

366
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:31,125
-You didn't go near third?
-I had to go back.

367
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,430
-Afternoon ladies.
-I got to second base.

368
00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,566
-No, not with Danni?
-Yeah, with Danni.

369
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:39,179
-Dude! No, I was gonna tap that.
-Yes!

370
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,831
-This coat is amazing.
-I thought we were vibing.

371
00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:44,656
-Well.
-I'm ten times the man you are.
Details, let's go.

372
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:47,055
-I was right? Remember that.

373
00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:48,968
-[Simon]: We kissed.
-[Robert]: Where?

374
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:51,323
-[Simon]: Porch.
-[Robert]: You dirty, dirty dog.

375
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:53,544
-[Simon]: Yeah, I felt
pretty dirty.
-I have transgendar!

376
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:56,063
♪ Music.
-No one believed me.

377
00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:58,975
♪ Music.

378
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:03,159
-Thanks for nothing
Father Judas.

379
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,512
I don't know what that stuff
you were saying, but it didn't
help me with the rock story.

380
00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,643
So what do you have
to say for yourself?

381
00:20:08,685 --> 00:20:10,945
You're supposed to help us,
when we come here.

382
00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:15,082
Nothing, just as I thought.
Pathetic.

383
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:17,956
-Forgive me Father,
for I have sinned.

384
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:21,179
It's been six months since
my last confession.

385
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,870
And these are my sins.

386
00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:27,748
I slept with my deceased
husbands colleague.

387
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,921
-Okay, okay, okay.

388
00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:34,577
Well, that can happen.
One thing leads to another...

389
00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:40,674
So, you have a couple
drinks...and...things...

390
00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:43,367
Get out of hand,
I've been there.

391
00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:46,416
I've been there many times.
So don't worry, he's dead.

392
00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:48,552
So you didn't do anything wrong.

393
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:52,425
I wouldn't worry too much about
it. So just practice safe sex,

394
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:56,078
and make sure you check
your blood pressure.

395
00:20:56,124 --> 00:21:01,484
And how about we doooo,
I don't know, why don't we do...

396
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:06,571
Why don't we do three Hail
Mary's and two Our Father's.

397
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:09,443
Do three Our Father's and
you're good to go.

398
00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:12,485
-Thank you Father.
-You're welcome.
Nice meeting you, by the way.

399
00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:18,098
Next.

400
00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:21,281
♪ Music