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www.titlovi.com
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Till number one.
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00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:46,242
Till number one.
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00:03:52,625 --> 00:03:55,333
Till number one.
5
00:04:06,375 --> 00:04:08,583
Good morning, sir,
welcome to Waingel's Bank.
6
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:10,374
My name is Sheila.
How can I help you?
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01632 960786?
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00:04:26,042 --> 00:04:28,455
- You all right?
- Yeah, all right. You?
9
00:04:28,542 --> 00:04:30,784
- Yeah, yeah.
- Do you want me to get him?
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00:04:30,875 --> 00:04:37,875
- Uh, yeah.
- Vince! Vince! Telephone!
11
00:04:38,583 --> 00:04:41,542
- Is that Gwen?
- No, your dad.
12
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,367
- All right?
- Don't ask. You?
13
00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:56,370
Yeah, you?
14
00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:12,826
- What are you doing?
- Going round Dad's.
15
00:06:12,917 --> 00:06:14,078
What about supper?
16
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:16,204
What supper?
You didn't tell me anything?
17
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,454
Don't give me that! Of course you knew.
18
00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:20,158
What else do I do every evening?
19
00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:22,242
Just put it in the fridge.
I can have it tomorrow.
20
00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:25,326
Vince, you are pushing me to the edge,
do you know that?
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00:06:25,792 --> 00:06:28,375
Eat your dinner,
then you can go to your dad's.
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00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:31,371
- Leave it out, Mum.
- Well, what are you going to eat?
23
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,040
Stacy's making a curry.
24
00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:34,411
Who's Stacy?
25
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:36,036
His new bird.
26
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:40,741
He didn't tell you?
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00:07:58,125 --> 00:08:00,117
Oh! Freezing out there!
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00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:01,870
I thought you'd be back at six.
29
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,833
Long queue in the post office.
30
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:07,876
You'd think it'd be empty
after Christmas.
31
00:08:07,958 --> 00:08:09,290
Starving here!
32
00:08:10,125 --> 00:08:13,698
Forgot already what you were
banging on about last night?
33
00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:15,158
Fridge dinners and all that?
34
00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:18,493
Or have you gone off
the idea of stale food...
35
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:22,655
Oh, sorry.
36
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:24,992
I didn't know you had company.
37
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How's it going, Gwen?
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- She's modelling.
- Pardon me, then.
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00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:34,583
I'm cooking for three then, am I?
40
00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:39,494
- Gwen? Vince? Anyone?
- Yes, please.
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00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,491
Have you offered her anything?
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00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:43,616
We only just started.
43
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:46,625
Gwen, would you like a drink?
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Let's have a look.
45
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Very good!
He's made you look really lovely, Gwen.
46
00:09:07,583 --> 00:09:09,245
I wish I had that talent.
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00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:29,208
You've reached 01632 960786.
48
00:10:29,292 --> 00:10:31,750
I'm not in right now,
but if you leave a message,
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00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:33,165
I'll get straight back to you.
50
00:10:34,583 --> 00:10:39,703
This is a message for Sheila.
It's Adonis. Box number 1592.
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00:10:39,792 --> 00:10:42,535
I got your letter and your photo.
52
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,161
I've got a few other dates this week,
53
00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:46,330
but give me a call
and I'll see if I can slot you in.
54
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:51,120
My number is 01632 960322.
55
00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:16,617
A purchase on a horizon,
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00:11:16,708 --> 00:11:18,916
a panoply of temptation.
57
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,536
Can a curious soul desist?
58
00:11:20,958 --> 00:11:23,075
I'm just looking, thank you.
59
00:11:23,458 --> 00:11:26,371
The hesitation in your voice
soon to be an echo
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00:11:26,458 --> 00:11:29,292
in the recesses
of the spheres of retail.
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00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:08,789
Imagine, 60 percent vanished
from this sensational garment.
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00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,198
In apprehensions
lie the crevices of clarity.
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00:12:15,917 --> 00:12:17,829
Isn't it a little risqu�?
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00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:21,706
A provocation.
For what else must one wear?
65
00:12:21,792 --> 00:12:23,909
I'm just going on a date.
66
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:30,998
A date? Well? And what kind of date?
Food and drinks?
67
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,995
Food and drinks, yeah.
68
00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:35,621
An embellishment of occasion,
for instance,
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00:12:35,708 --> 00:12:38,451
but also the emphasis
of comfort and pleasure.
70
00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:42,740
Thus you will destroy two birds
with a stone.
71
00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:30,455
Imagine, the dress is your image
72
00:13:30,542 --> 00:13:34,707
and from me onto what you project
through an illusion.
73
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:42,621
One sensation of mind,
one fabric in recollection of touch.
74
00:13:44,125 --> 00:13:47,197
But this is how I see
your night romance.
75
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:49,704
I predict the fantasy.
76
00:13:50,375 --> 00:13:53,823
Isn't it small? What size is this?
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00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,491
Thirty-six.
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00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:58,199
But I'm not a thirty-six.
79
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:03,577
In a number is only
the equation of actuality.
80
00:14:04,167 --> 00:14:08,366
Dimensions and proportions transcend
the prisms of our measurements.
81
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,367
You're not getting any more in?
82
00:14:16,292 --> 00:14:21,242
There's a lucky man somewhere
in the vista of this mysterious mirror.
83
00:14:22,375 --> 00:14:23,786
May I ask his name?
84
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,037
His name's Adonis.
85
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:30,789
Adonis? I see him.
86
00:14:30,875 --> 00:14:32,332
I like him.
87
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,990
And it's not clinging too tightly here?
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00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:43,906
Desist warning attention
to the askew perception of self.
89
00:14:44,875 --> 00:14:48,164
Lightest trivia
and the local vectors of frivolity
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00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:51,209
are the topics
Adonis will be discussing tonight.
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00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:55,333
I don't normally wear
this kind of thing.
92
00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:59,702
Darings eclipse
the dark circumference of caution.
93
00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:04,619
Be bold.
Your date will compliment you.
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00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,500
Touch it.
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00:15:39,583 --> 00:15:40,699
Feel it here.
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00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:03,825
And may I interest you in other desired
supposes in our exclusive boutique?
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00:16:03,917 --> 00:16:06,534
I'm fine for now, thank you.
98
00:16:06,625 --> 00:16:09,163
Then I would like you to announce
your locus of residence
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00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,958
followed by the numbers
to your telephone.
100
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:14,332
Sheila Woolchapel,
101
00:16:14,417 --> 00:16:18,787
16 Ferndale Road,
Thames Valley-on-Thames.
102
00:16:18,875 --> 00:16:25,031
01632 960786.
103
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:23,953
Thank you.
104
00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:27,615
The pleasure is all mine,
Sheila Woolchapel.
105
00:17:27,708 --> 00:17:32,032
Adonis will be waiting
and he will compliment you.
106
00:17:36,792 --> 00:17:39,785
Till number one.
107
00:17:42,375 --> 00:17:44,742
Till number one.
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00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:30,458
Sheila Woolchapel,
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00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:35,162
16 Ferndale Road,
Thames Valley-on-Thames.
110
00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,457
Telephonic code:
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00:18:36,542 --> 00:18:43,542
zero and one and six and three
and two and nine and six and zero
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00:18:44,375 --> 00:18:48,494
and seven and eight and six and stop.
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00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:52,697
Well, maybe I can actually,
you know...
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00:18:55,083 --> 00:18:56,699
No, I'm not.
115
00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:04,164
I'm off. Your dinner's in the fridge.
116
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:09,415
What have you done to your hair?
117
00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:11,667
Why?
118
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:13,832
Looks like the council cut it.
119
00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:15,914
Thanks.
120
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:18,665
You're not dating, are you?
121
00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:22,330
Why? Aren't I allowed to?
122
00:19:22,417 --> 00:19:23,578
Bit soon?
123
00:19:24,042 --> 00:19:26,375
I didn't know
there was a time limit.
124
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,074
I thought you wanted
to get back with Dad.
125
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:34,333
That was a while ago,
and obviously your dad had other ideas.
126
00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:41,999
Oh, and tell that femme fatale of yours
to get off the phone.
127
00:19:42,083 --> 00:19:44,166
It's gonna cost me a fortune.
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00:19:48,042 --> 00:19:54,118
You've reached 01632 960786.
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00:19:54,208 --> 00:19:58,578
I'm not in right now, but if you leave
a message I'll get straight back to you.
130
00:20:00,125 --> 00:20:02,208
It's Adonis again.
131
00:20:02,292 --> 00:20:05,831
Amesos Greek restaurant, 7:30.
132
00:20:05,917 --> 00:20:09,786
I'll be wearing a dark Donningtonio suit
and carrying a rose.
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00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:14,290
I'm tall, slim, short back and sides.
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00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:17,083
If you don't find me, I'll find you.
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00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:34,792
Oh!
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00:21:34,875 --> 00:21:37,618
- Box number 1592?
- Yeah.
137
00:21:37,708 --> 00:21:40,667
- Did I scare you?
- No, it's fine.
138
00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:43,709
I've got some love vouchers
that will give us ten percent off
139
00:21:43,792 --> 00:21:45,408
as long as we share the same pudding.
140
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:49,699
Pudding? Sounds good. Join me.
141
00:22:08,125 --> 00:22:10,583
- As promised.
- Oh, thank you.
142
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,162
- What?
- You look different.
143
00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:21,824
How?
144
00:22:22,750 --> 00:22:24,036
Well, your hair.
145
00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:26,790
Hair grows back.
146
00:22:45,292 --> 00:22:48,660
- Do you know what you're having?
- In a minute, OK?
147
00:22:49,583 --> 00:22:51,119
The moussaka looks good.
148
00:23:06,375 --> 00:23:08,458
So, you like dancing then?
149
00:23:09,792 --> 00:23:11,749
Not tonight, I sprained my ankle.
150
00:23:11,833 --> 00:23:15,952
God, I didn't mean tonight.
Just in general. You like dancing?
151
00:23:16,042 --> 00:23:17,042
Yeah.
152
00:23:24,083 --> 00:23:27,906
It says in your lonely hearts
advertisement that you like laughing.
153
00:23:29,083 --> 00:23:30,083
Yeah.
154
00:23:32,417 --> 00:23:33,578
What kind of things?
155
00:23:34,125 --> 00:23:35,866
Funny things.
156
00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:39,201
- What about cooking?
- What is this, an exam?
157
00:23:42,542 --> 00:23:44,408
Friendly evenings, guests.
158
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:47,664
Welcome to Amesos.
My name is Vlassis and you are?
159
00:23:48,958 --> 00:23:50,574
Sheila Woolchapel.
160
00:23:51,958 --> 00:23:53,165
Adonis Jackson.
161
00:23:53,250 --> 00:23:55,583
And may I take
your lucky orders?
162
00:23:59,333 --> 00:24:00,333
Madam?
163
00:24:00,833 --> 00:24:04,622
Oh, there will be the tzatziki
for the starter
164
00:24:04,708 --> 00:24:08,031
and vegetable moussaka for the main.
165
00:24:08,125 --> 00:24:10,333
Instantly, madam. You, sir?
166
00:24:17,083 --> 00:24:20,076
Um...
I will come back for your lucky order.
167
00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:09,323
Vince? Vince? Get a move on.
I'm desperate. Vince?
168
00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:16,993
Sorry, I didn't know
you were staying over.
169
00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:18,574
Didn't Vince tell you?
170
00:25:19,750 --> 00:25:21,491
Well, maybe I didn't hear.
171
00:25:21,583 --> 00:25:23,040
I hope it's not a problem.
172
00:25:23,125 --> 00:25:24,866
Of course not, no.
173
00:25:26,042 --> 00:25:27,078
Nice night out?
174
00:25:27,167 --> 00:25:30,160
Yes, thank you. Caught up with a friend.
175
00:25:30,250 --> 00:25:33,368
Where's Vince?
He didn't answer when I called him.
176
00:25:33,875 --> 00:25:36,458
He must've knocked himself out.
177
00:25:36,542 --> 00:25:41,116
It's always the way with him. As soon as
he comes, he's out for the count.
178
00:25:41,208 --> 00:25:44,406
Must be the pressure
of those mock exams.
179
00:25:44,500 --> 00:25:45,991
It should get better by February.
180
00:25:47,542 --> 00:25:49,499
Did you get anything nice in the sales?
181
00:25:49,583 --> 00:25:50,994
Not much. You?
182
00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:53,621
I found a very tasteful
pair of Carpathian stockings
183
00:25:53,708 --> 00:25:57,406
from Dentley and Soper's.
Seventy percent off.
184
00:25:58,167 --> 00:26:00,500
Now that's what I call a bargain.
185
00:26:01,542 --> 00:26:03,283
I'm sorry
if I was too long in the shower.
186
00:26:04,042 --> 00:26:06,955
I won't keep you waiting
as I know you're desperate.
187
00:28:00,625 --> 00:28:03,242
- What are you doing?
- You tell me.
188
00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:05,746
- How did this end up in here?
- Eh?
189
00:28:06,333 --> 00:28:09,371
The next time your girlfriend
wants to try something on,
190
00:28:09,458 --> 00:28:11,245
how about asking me first?
191
00:28:11,333 --> 00:28:13,996
- You got a screw loose?
- Don't talk to me like that.
192
00:28:14,083 --> 00:28:16,575
Gwen wouldn't be seen dead
in something like that.
193
00:28:16,667 --> 00:28:19,375
- So how did it end up in there, then?
- How would I know?
194
00:28:19,458 --> 00:28:21,871
I don't like people
going through my things, Vince.
195
00:28:21,958 --> 00:28:25,907
- Touch�! Neither do I.
- Don't you touch� me.
196
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,198
I've had enough of her
making a mini-bar from my wine
197
00:28:29,292 --> 00:28:32,126
and now helping herself to my wardrobe.
198
00:28:32,208 --> 00:28:35,531
She's turning my house into a boudoir
and I'm not having it.
199
00:28:35,625 --> 00:28:38,333
It's becoming a bit disgusting
if you must know.
200
00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:39,417
Leave it out, Mum.
201
00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:41,787
No, I'm not going to leave it out,
young Vincent.
202
00:28:41,875 --> 00:28:45,198
I'll say it again
because nothing gets through your head.
203
00:28:45,292 --> 00:28:49,036
To be frank,
I find Gwen a bit disgusting.
204
00:28:49,750 --> 00:28:52,788
And the sooner
you take that on board, the better.
205
00:29:17,917 --> 00:29:18,917
Hello.
206
00:29:53,042 --> 00:29:54,908
I hope you didn't move
without me.
207
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,582
Don't get paranoid, Mum.
208
00:29:57,292 --> 00:29:59,705
Now where were we?
209
00:29:59,792 --> 00:30:01,374
Your turn, Don Juan.
210
00:30:18,542 --> 00:30:20,955
- Oh, my God, what's that?
- What?
211
00:30:21,792 --> 00:30:23,249
That looks nasty.
212
00:30:24,167 --> 00:30:25,703
Just some sort of rash.
213
00:30:25,792 --> 00:30:27,533
Ugh, I hope it isn't catchy.
214
00:30:27,625 --> 00:30:29,457
Yeah, what is that?
I saw it the other day.
215
00:30:29,542 --> 00:30:34,162
I don't know. An allergy of some sort.
Maybe the washing powder.
216
00:30:34,250 --> 00:30:36,913
- You should get it looked at, Mum.
- Don't scare me.
217
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,914
I'm not scaring you. Just get a cream
and Bob's your uncle. For your sake.
218
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,287
My financial advisor
had something similar.
219
00:30:43,375 --> 00:30:45,537
Some kind of blood infection.
220
00:30:45,625 --> 00:30:47,491
Ended up having to
amputate her right arm.
221
00:30:47,583 --> 00:30:50,371
- Don't give me that.
- Seriously!
222
00:30:50,458 --> 00:30:53,326
The doctor kept sending her
home saying it was some kind of allergy
223
00:30:53,417 --> 00:30:55,033
and she ended up really ill.
224
00:30:56,250 --> 00:30:58,458
But it's fine now.
225
00:30:58,542 --> 00:31:01,740
She eventually learnt to write
left-handed.
226
00:31:01,833 --> 00:31:04,120
Beautiful handwriting too.
227
00:31:04,958 --> 00:31:05,994
Your turn.
228
00:31:25,333 --> 00:31:26,824
Oh, dear.
229
00:31:30,833 --> 00:31:32,574
Tough decision.
230
00:32:10,667 --> 00:32:12,499
Do you have to talk French all the time?
231
00:32:13,083 --> 00:32:15,245
He has to practise for his A levels.
232
00:32:26,583 --> 00:32:27,790
Actually.
233
00:32:31,375 --> 00:32:34,083
Sorry.
234
00:32:40,292 --> 00:32:41,783
What was that?
235
00:32:42,333 --> 00:32:44,541
- Turn it off.
- I've turned it off!
236
00:32:44,625 --> 00:32:46,116
Pull the plug out!
237
00:32:50,250 --> 00:32:53,664
Sit on it or something! Oh!
238
00:32:59,958 --> 00:33:01,119
Mum!
239
00:33:15,458 --> 00:33:16,915
What's going on with this thing?
240
00:37:51,042 --> 00:37:53,750
Till number two.
241
00:37:58,250 --> 00:38:00,037
Thanks for coming in, Sheila.
242
00:38:00,125 --> 00:38:03,368
Look at that, still finding
pine needles everywhere.
243
00:38:03,458 --> 00:38:07,327
All over our sofa back home as well.
Must get a plastic tree next year.
244
00:38:07,417 --> 00:38:09,500
Yeah, we must. How's it going, Sheila?
245
00:38:09,583 --> 00:38:11,575
- Yeah, everything's fine.
- Ah.
246
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,411
What happened to your hand?
247
00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:16,868
Nothing much.
Washing machine went bananas.
248
00:38:16,958 --> 00:38:19,666
Well, we know a very good repair company
if you need anyone.
249
00:38:19,750 --> 00:38:22,618
- What's that, Staverton's?
- Yeah. Staverton's Wash. In your area.
250
00:38:22,708 --> 00:38:24,809
They did wonders with our machine,
didn't they, Clive?
251
00:38:24,833 --> 00:38:26,916
Yeah, they did.
A really good mechanic.
252
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:30,493
So how are things going? Do you feel
on top of things at the moment?
253
00:38:30,583 --> 00:38:32,370
Yeah, I think so.
254
00:38:32,458 --> 00:38:35,417
We didn't see you
at the Christmas bowling the other week.
255
00:38:35,500 --> 00:38:37,992
Oh, I think I had a lot on
with my son that night.
256
00:38:38,083 --> 00:38:40,120
Hmm. Interesting.
257
00:38:40,208 --> 00:38:43,622
Sheila, Pete Mathinson
spoke to us the other day.
258
00:38:43,708 --> 00:38:47,201
Now he's really impressed with how
you're all doing. Lots of good feedback.
259
00:38:47,292 --> 00:38:50,706
Yeah, he also noticed how attuned you
were to the Waingel's Wavelength.
260
00:38:50,792 --> 00:38:53,125
Yeah. One thing he flagged
with us though.
261
00:38:53,208 --> 00:38:55,245
He wasn't sure about your handshake.
262
00:38:57,125 --> 00:39:00,038
Pete thinks you're doing really well,
likes the way you smell as well,
263
00:39:00,125 --> 00:39:03,197
but to tell you the truth,
the handshake did come up
264
00:39:03,292 --> 00:39:07,491
and Pete commented on how
perhaps it wasn't meaningful enough.
265
00:39:08,042 --> 00:39:10,955
Sheila, Pete wanted you
to have this article here.
266
00:39:11,042 --> 00:39:14,331
Um... It's about the importance
of a meaningful handshake.
267
00:39:14,417 --> 00:39:16,283
Sure, I'll take a look.
268
00:39:16,375 --> 00:39:18,207
It's written
in a fun, easy language
269
00:39:18,292 --> 00:39:21,035
and there's a cartoon at the end
that summarises the key points.
270
00:39:21,125 --> 00:39:23,768
And Sheila, if you want, we'd be happy
to try out a role-play scenario
271
00:39:23,792 --> 00:39:26,660
- which involves handshaking.
- It doesn't have to be a bank scenario.
272
00:39:26,750 --> 00:39:28,630
We have a range of costumes
we could all try on.
273
00:39:28,667 --> 00:39:31,034
- It's OK, I'll practise at home.
- Hm.
274
00:39:31,417 --> 00:39:33,830
One other thing, Sheila.
275
00:39:33,917 --> 00:39:38,241
One of your colleagues noticed
that you tend to visit the ladies' room
276
00:39:38,333 --> 00:39:40,825
prior to clocking out for feeding time.
277
00:39:41,917 --> 00:39:43,499
Who told you this?
278
00:39:43,583 --> 00:39:45,791
It wouldn't be professional of us
to say her name.
279
00:39:45,875 --> 00:39:49,539
I normally clock out
and instantly leave the building.
280
00:39:49,625 --> 00:39:51,412
Well, if it's a one-off we understand,
281
00:39:51,500 --> 00:39:54,618
but we just wanted to flag it up
with you, in case Pete finds out.
282
00:39:54,708 --> 00:39:56,540
A minute or two
might not seem significant,
283
00:39:56,625 --> 00:39:58,457
but when we spoke to your colleague,
284
00:39:58,542 --> 00:40:01,535
she did some calculations
and rightly reminded us
285
00:40:01,625 --> 00:40:04,914
that if these unwarranted toilet visits
were to take place
286
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,333
at an estimate of
two minutes per visit,
287
00:40:07,417 --> 00:40:11,081
you would accrue
over four hundred minutes every year.
288
00:40:11,167 --> 00:40:14,490
And to tell you the truth, two minutes
for a visit to the toilet is generous.
289
00:40:14,583 --> 00:40:16,825
Well, in my experience
it's two and a half.
290
00:40:16,917 --> 00:40:18,749
I timed myself
right before this meeting.
291
00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:22,497
It was a one-off,
I can assure you.
292
00:40:23,083 --> 00:40:26,121
Whoever it was who informed you
of my transgression
293
00:40:26,208 --> 00:40:30,999
obviously doesn't notice
that I'm regularly in ten minutes early.
294
00:40:31,083 --> 00:40:33,166
Maybe you could do the maths on that.
295
00:40:34,583 --> 00:40:37,417
- What do you think?
- Is fantastic.
296
00:40:37,500 --> 00:40:38,991
And the shawl?
297
00:40:39,083 --> 00:40:42,702
The shawlest vantage
praises January customer
298
00:40:42,792 --> 00:40:47,912
for she is in purchase
of our sacred domain. Cheers.
299
00:40:50,125 --> 00:40:52,037
It's a little tight
around the shoulders.
300
00:40:52,125 --> 00:40:54,959
I knew I'd need a size up
after Christmas.
301
00:40:55,042 --> 00:40:58,581
When your stature is emphasised,
it is my duty to provide you
302
00:40:58,667 --> 00:41:03,207
with a notion of proportion
that reflects your ideal of dimension.
303
00:41:03,292 --> 00:41:04,703
Wait here.
304
00:41:38,458 --> 00:41:41,496
Our perspectives
on the spectres of mortality
305
00:41:41,583 --> 00:41:45,702
must not be compromised
by an askew index of commerce.
306
00:41:50,958 --> 00:41:51,958
I'm sorry.
307
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,583
The model, the affliction.
308
00:41:56,417 --> 00:41:57,533
What happened?
309
00:41:59,250 --> 00:42:01,037
A calamity.
310
00:42:01,125 --> 00:42:05,495
Imagine. Jill Woodmere. Yes, she.
311
00:42:05,583 --> 00:42:09,406
Our range in garments she defined
through a rapture of display.
312
00:42:10,542 --> 00:42:15,162
And here, the last dress she wore.
Oh, how she adored it.
313
00:42:15,250 --> 00:42:16,741
I'm sorry.
314
00:42:34,667 --> 00:42:36,329
The rhombic coat?
315
00:42:37,625 --> 00:42:40,743
The rhombic coat, yes. I'll try it on.
316
00:42:41,208 --> 00:42:43,700
Sorry, one last thing.
317
00:42:43,792 --> 00:42:46,455
How many of those
dresses were in stock?
318
00:42:46,542 --> 00:42:49,159
One. Only the one.
319
00:42:49,750 --> 00:42:52,493
And the model wore that same dress?
320
00:42:53,167 --> 00:42:58,913
Yes. But imagine, she extensively
showered before that photograph.
321
00:44:53,542 --> 00:44:54,908
Vince?
322
00:44:56,958 --> 00:44:58,199
Vince?
323
00:45:58,208 --> 00:46:02,282
Zach? Sheila, box number 6832.
324
00:46:05,042 --> 00:46:08,410
I have some love vouchers here
with some exciting discounts.
325
00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:11,288
That's if you don't mind
sharing a pudding with me.
326
00:46:57,375 --> 00:47:00,163
- You look familiar, you know?
- Oh, no, don't scare me.
327
00:47:00,250 --> 00:47:03,698
Seriously, I've seen you somewhere
before, I don't know where, but...
328
00:47:03,792 --> 00:47:04,999
Do you bank at Waingel's?
329
00:47:05,458 --> 00:47:07,871
Ah, I thought it was
something like that.
330
00:47:08,583 --> 00:47:11,906
I remember now.
You fined me for going over my limit!
331
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:15,914
Oh, not me, I don't fine.
I just follow orders from above.
332
00:47:16,417 --> 00:47:17,953
I think I still have a letter from you
333
00:47:18,042 --> 00:47:20,580
asking me to make an appointment
with your managers.
334
00:47:20,667 --> 00:47:23,410
You were kind of stern, but I liked it.
335
00:48:11,042 --> 00:48:14,001
What happened? What happened?
336
00:48:14,083 --> 00:48:16,826
It's OK, it's OK.
337
00:48:16,917 --> 00:48:20,285
Come here, it's OK.
338
00:48:35,542 --> 00:48:38,376
It's hard to make friends in this town.
339
00:48:38,458 --> 00:48:39,790
I know.
340
00:48:42,458 --> 00:48:43,744
Is it just me?
341
00:48:44,667 --> 00:48:47,284
No, it's OK. Don't think about it.
342
00:48:49,292 --> 00:48:52,865
It's hard to make friends here,
it really is.
343
00:48:56,625 --> 00:48:59,368
You met many others through this?
344
00:49:00,500 --> 00:49:02,913
A few. You?
345
00:49:04,167 --> 00:49:06,079
One or two.
346
00:49:09,417 --> 00:49:11,875
I don't need to meet anyone anymore.
347
00:49:13,125 --> 00:49:14,125
Me neither.
348
00:51:08,125 --> 00:51:11,243
"You who wear me will know me."
349
00:51:12,250 --> 00:51:13,707
What's that supposed to mean?
350
00:51:13,792 --> 00:51:15,533
It's just a design feature.
351
00:51:15,625 --> 00:51:17,036
Cheap bit of mystery.
352
00:51:18,125 --> 00:51:21,038
You think anyone buying these things
gives a damn what it all means?
353
00:51:23,583 --> 00:51:25,324
Would you think I'm bonkers
354
00:51:25,417 --> 00:51:27,955
if I told you I think something's wrong
with that dress?
355
00:51:28,042 --> 00:51:29,078
Of course not.
356
00:51:29,167 --> 00:51:32,740
I haven't met a woman who didn't think
there was something wrong with a dress.
357
00:51:36,167 --> 00:51:38,625
A woman who modelled it died.
358
00:51:39,375 --> 00:51:43,289
And? Half the clothes I bought in the
charity shop are from people who died.
359
00:51:44,417 --> 00:51:47,034
Don't run yourself around
all this hocus pocus.
360
00:51:47,125 --> 00:51:48,707
Personally, I like you in it.
361
00:51:49,667 --> 00:51:51,158
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
362
00:51:51,667 --> 00:51:54,375
- You're not just saying that?
- You look good in it.
363
00:51:55,375 --> 00:51:57,583
OK, you look good in most things,
364
00:51:58,083 --> 00:52:01,406
but that dress definitely shows you off.
365
00:52:04,542 --> 00:52:05,874
Put it on.
366
00:52:10,917 --> 00:52:13,500
Don't tell me you're scared of a dress?
367
00:54:46,458 --> 00:54:48,290
You don't want to go
into town today?
368
00:54:48,375 --> 00:54:49,911
Oh, it's a nightmare on Saturdays.
369
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:53,539
Why don't we stay here?
You know, acclimatise you to Vince.
370
00:54:53,958 --> 00:54:55,290
No one's rushing you there.
371
00:54:56,250 --> 00:54:59,493
I just think it'll be good for him
to see me back on my feet a little bit.
372
00:55:00,417 --> 00:55:02,249
He was a little short with me
on the phone.
373
00:55:02,333 --> 00:55:04,370
He's in a bad way.
374
00:55:04,458 --> 00:55:06,450
The separation really got to him.
375
00:55:06,542 --> 00:55:09,125
Not helped by my ex
trying to pit him against me.
376
00:55:09,208 --> 00:55:10,949
- Join the club.
- Darren!
377
00:55:13,542 --> 00:55:16,000
- No!
- Darren, get off!
378
00:55:16,083 --> 00:55:18,325
Get off! Get off, Darren!
379
00:55:19,750 --> 00:55:21,742
Darren, get off!
380
00:55:22,125 --> 00:55:26,495
- Get off! Get off!
- My leg!
381
00:55:26,583 --> 00:55:27,994
Get it off!
382
00:55:29,708 --> 00:55:32,667
Darren, you bastard! Darren!
383
00:55:32,750 --> 00:55:35,709
Mum!
384
00:55:37,708 --> 00:55:39,199
- Mum!
- Up here!
385
00:55:40,833 --> 00:55:42,574
Took me ages to get your stuff!
386
00:55:42,667 --> 00:55:45,956
They asked for my ID and everything
then they gave me some punk's rucksack.
387
00:55:46,042 --> 00:55:47,374
I've no idea why they...
388
00:55:48,250 --> 00:55:50,833
Vince, this is Zach.
389
00:55:51,542 --> 00:55:53,078
A friend from work.
390
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:55,081
Pleased to meet you.
391
00:55:55,167 --> 00:55:58,410
All right. Where do you want me
to put these, then?
392
00:55:58,875 --> 00:56:01,458
No point, they're all ripped to pieces.
393
00:56:01,542 --> 00:56:04,535
Eh? This one's not ripped.
394
00:56:04,625 --> 00:56:08,289
- Of course it's ripped.
- It's brand spanking new, almost.
395
00:56:12,083 --> 00:56:13,824
It should be ripped.
396
00:56:13,917 --> 00:56:16,751
The dog ripped it to pieces.
It should be ripped!
397
00:56:16,833 --> 00:56:19,621
I tell you, it should be ripped!
398
00:57:14,458 --> 00:57:19,658
I have reached the dimension of remorse,
Sheila Woolchapel. The dress.
399
00:57:19,750 --> 00:57:23,369
I can't claim with its reacceptance
if its purchase is not evidenced.
400
00:57:23,458 --> 00:57:25,040
I had the receipt.
401
00:57:25,125 --> 00:57:26,787
I don't know where it's gone.
402
00:57:33,875 --> 00:57:36,458
Look, honestly, I don't need the refund.
403
00:57:36,542 --> 00:57:38,955
Just let me exchange it
for something else.
404
00:57:39,042 --> 00:57:41,955
A casual exchange seldom expresses
a lady's self-assurance
405
00:57:42,042 --> 00:57:47,959
- and her embodiment of fashion...
- You know what? Just take the dress.
406
00:57:48,042 --> 00:57:50,705
I don't need anything back,
just take it.
407
00:57:52,792 --> 00:57:56,456
Lamentations can be fairly addressed
to Miss Kolliston.
408
00:57:56,958 --> 00:58:03,114
Distinction avows her noble hearing.
Psst! Psst!
409
00:58:03,208 --> 00:58:04,415
Forget it.
410
00:58:15,417 --> 00:58:20,287
Like a whisper in an ocean,
like a feather in a storm,
411
00:58:20,875 --> 00:58:27,372
a dress of deduction finds its character
in a prism of retail abstraction.
412
00:58:28,458 --> 00:58:30,165
I don't understand.
413
00:58:31,375 --> 00:58:35,119
Miss Luckmoore
experienced a transaction of ecstasy,
414
00:58:35,958 --> 00:58:39,497
and I ask if you could
mutually sanctify her claim?
415
00:58:39,583 --> 00:58:44,999
Look, this is nothing personal,
but I'm done with the sales, thank you.
416
00:58:45,083 --> 00:58:50,203
But your dismissal of such a prestigious
consumerist festivity leaves me bereft.
417
00:58:51,208 --> 00:58:54,701
Did Miss Luckmoore
engage with the doctrine of the store
418
00:58:54,792 --> 00:59:00,459
and did the experience consolidate your
perception of the paradigm of retail?
419
00:59:01,042 --> 00:59:02,533
I've got to go back to work.
420
00:59:02,625 --> 00:59:05,993
Just a goodwill gesture
for the inaugural consumer.
421
00:59:06,083 --> 00:59:10,202
A fantastic offer,
I inferred to myself in jest.
422
00:59:11,083 --> 00:59:14,372
I just don't see
why I couldn't return this dress.
423
00:59:14,458 --> 00:59:19,783
The very purpose of this seasonal retail
occasion is to expunge.
424
00:59:20,167 --> 00:59:21,783
Returning what has already left
425
00:59:21,875 --> 00:59:25,824
the ladies' fashion boutique of Dentley
and Soper's Trusted Department Store
426
00:59:25,917 --> 00:59:29,285
goes against the nature of things.
427
00:59:39,708 --> 00:59:41,791
Such a pretty dress.
428
00:59:47,875 --> 00:59:50,083
I hope Adonis complimented you.
429
00:59:58,083 --> 00:59:59,199
Pitcroft!
430
01:00:06,583 --> 01:00:09,121
How's your leg, Sheila?
431
01:00:10,875 --> 01:00:12,036
Better, thank you.
432
01:00:12,708 --> 01:00:13,915
Clive knows the local vet
433
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:17,038
and he can confirm that
he destroyed the dog on your behalf.
434
01:00:17,833 --> 01:00:19,290
He also wanted you to know
435
01:00:19,375 --> 01:00:22,573
that he took great pleasure
in denying the dog its last biscuit.
436
01:00:23,750 --> 01:00:25,787
It must be a pain
not being able to drive.
437
01:00:25,875 --> 01:00:28,458
The doctor reckons
I can start back tomorrow.
438
01:00:28,542 --> 01:00:32,786
Oh, good, good.
Um, Sheila, can we have a word?
439
01:00:34,917 --> 01:00:36,374
Of course.
440
01:00:43,708 --> 01:00:44,869
How was your weekend?
441
01:00:45,542 --> 01:00:46,953
Well, interesting.
442
01:00:47,042 --> 01:00:48,658
Anything nice in the sales?
443
01:00:48,750 --> 01:00:50,833
Just a dress,
but that was the other week.
444
01:00:51,833 --> 01:00:53,040
Good bargains.
445
01:00:53,458 --> 01:00:56,417
Sheila, I was pleased to see your name
down on the bowling list again.
446
01:00:56,500 --> 01:00:59,117
Even though I don't think you
should be in Ruth's team, but still,
447
01:00:59,208 --> 01:01:01,951
we have a nice balance of numbers
this month, so well done.
448
01:01:02,042 --> 01:01:03,453
Should be an interesting match.
449
01:01:03,542 --> 01:01:05,659
Yeah. Looking forward to it.
450
01:01:05,750 --> 01:01:09,699
Now, Sheila, we caught up
with Pete Mathinson this morning.
451
01:01:09,792 --> 01:01:11,328
Really meaningful meeting, um...
452
01:01:11,417 --> 01:01:13,750
just reviewing where we're going
with various things.
453
01:01:14,542 --> 01:01:17,990
He was very impressed
with how you're getting on, all good.
454
01:01:18,083 --> 01:01:20,575
Only he mentioned that
you waved at his mistress
455
01:01:20,667 --> 01:01:23,785
just by Landrake's tuck shop
last weekend.
456
01:01:23,875 --> 01:01:26,117
Yeah, I remember, she waved back.
457
01:01:26,208 --> 01:01:30,873
Hm. You see, she asked Pete
to call up a meeting about the incident
458
01:01:30,958 --> 01:01:32,950
and we all came to the conclusion
459
01:01:33,042 --> 01:01:37,662
that the waving can only be construed
as informal salutation.
460
01:01:39,375 --> 01:01:41,082
I don't understand.
461
01:01:41,167 --> 01:01:44,581
Technically, the mistress of a boss
is classified as a superior
462
01:01:44,667 --> 01:01:46,329
according to company policy,
463
01:01:46,417 --> 01:01:50,115
hence her surprise
at such a casual mode of greeting.
464
01:01:50,208 --> 01:01:52,871
Yeah, she urged us to term it
as insolent salutation
465
01:01:52,958 --> 01:01:55,245
but she gets ahead of herself sometimes.
466
01:01:55,333 --> 01:01:57,541
She smiled. She waved back!
467
01:01:57,625 --> 01:02:01,323
Sheila, when we worked
at the other branch in town
468
01:02:01,417 --> 01:02:05,536
we had a member of staff very similar
to you; diligent, hard working.
469
01:02:05,625 --> 01:02:09,915
Only, Clive and I noticed
a core of the inscrutable about her.
470
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:12,162
Not remotely
on the Waingel's Wavelength.
471
01:02:12,250 --> 01:02:15,698
We didn't think anything of it until
we discovered she was in the habit
472
01:02:15,792 --> 01:02:19,536
of injecting foolhardy substances
into her bloodstream on a regular basis.
473
01:02:19,625 --> 01:02:22,208
Now we're not suggesting
you're inclined that way.
474
01:02:22,292 --> 01:02:26,741
But nonetheless,
a story shared and all that.
475
01:02:27,792 --> 01:02:30,455
And those mysterious toilet breaks
before feeding time.
476
01:02:30,542 --> 01:02:33,285
One mysterious toilet break.
477
01:02:34,833 --> 01:02:36,870
You would tell us
if there was something?
478
01:02:36,958 --> 01:02:39,746
Then we can keep Pete
and the Police Force out of this.
479
01:02:39,833 --> 01:02:43,998
Well, it's just been busy with my son
and the school holidays.
480
01:02:45,375 --> 01:02:47,833
What's wrong, Sheila? You can tell us.
481
01:02:47,917 --> 01:02:52,787
Nothing! Just a few bad sleeping dreams.
482
01:02:53,667 --> 01:02:55,124
Can you give us an example?
483
01:02:56,500 --> 01:03:01,245
Well, just this one the other night,
um...
484
01:03:02,583 --> 01:03:06,907
I was very close to my mother,
in real life, I mean.
485
01:03:07,917 --> 01:03:13,117
My father died when I was young
and she and I grew even closer.
486
01:03:13,708 --> 01:03:15,324
I loved her dearly.
487
01:03:16,583 --> 01:03:21,408
I didn't have enough space
to store all her things after she died,
488
01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:24,208
which always makes me sad.
489
01:03:24,917 --> 01:03:29,412
I gave everything to charity,
but wished I'd kept something.
490
01:03:30,583 --> 01:03:34,657
But in this sleep,
I found one of her old dresses.
491
01:03:35,208 --> 01:03:40,408
It smelt of her perfume,
which I hadn't come across in years.
492
01:03:40,500 --> 01:03:44,164
Brought me right back,
made everything feel all right again.
493
01:03:45,292 --> 01:03:50,037
I put the dress on
and I looked in the mirror,
494
01:03:50,125 --> 01:03:51,866
but it wasn't me at all.
495
01:03:52,333 --> 01:03:54,996
It was my mother from the grave
496
01:03:55,083 --> 01:03:58,622
with the same jet-black dyed hair.
497
01:04:00,125 --> 01:04:02,742
I remember when she bought this dye.
498
01:04:02,833 --> 01:04:07,123
She was so fed up of the old ones
dripping off in the rain,
499
01:04:07,208 --> 01:04:11,908
but this one was permanent.
More than her flesh.
500
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:22,371
I caught a bus and everyone hid
under their seats when they saw me.
501
01:04:22,458 --> 01:04:23,869
Racists.
502
01:04:23,958 --> 01:04:26,871
I stank of my mother's corpse.
503
01:04:27,208 --> 01:04:30,121
The stench made the driver vomit
504
01:04:31,167 --> 01:04:35,366
and we went off a cliff and I woke up.
505
01:04:40,208 --> 01:04:41,915
And what colour was the bus?
506
01:04:42,458 --> 01:04:45,451
It was the colour
of Thames Valley-on-Thames.
507
01:04:46,917 --> 01:04:49,876
Yeah, it was that colour.
508
01:05:07,833 --> 01:05:10,371
I'm dropping some stuff off
at the charity shop
509
01:05:10,458 --> 01:05:12,871
if you've got anything
that needs taking.
510
01:05:14,833 --> 01:05:17,291
Is that a yes or a no?
511
01:05:17,375 --> 01:05:18,707
Maybe!
512
01:05:19,208 --> 01:05:21,495
Well, you go on Monday, then.
513
01:05:21,583 --> 01:05:26,453
And don't forget to bring the stuff
on the back seat. Yes?
514
01:05:27,125 --> 01:05:28,161
Yes!
515
01:05:28,250 --> 01:05:32,824
OK. I'll see you in the morning.
I've left you some food in the fridge.
516
01:05:32,917 --> 01:05:34,203
Where are you going?
517
01:05:35,042 --> 01:05:37,034
I'm gonna stay with someone.
518
01:05:37,583 --> 01:05:39,415
What? You mean slaphead?
519
01:05:39,500 --> 01:05:41,412
His name's Zach.
520
01:05:42,208 --> 01:05:44,165
I thought you said
he was a mate.
521
01:05:44,250 --> 01:05:46,867
Well, he's something more than that now.
522
01:05:57,167 --> 01:06:01,958
What I always do is,
because I love queueing for the sales,
523
01:06:02,042 --> 01:06:07,162
I find it really exciting,
and I have done it all night, actually.
524
01:06:07,250 --> 01:06:08,491
Yes, it's great fun.
525
01:06:08,583 --> 01:06:11,451
There's a great camaraderie, you know.
526
01:06:11,542 --> 01:06:14,250
And everybody's good.
They keep your place
527
01:06:14,333 --> 01:06:17,747
while you go and get an all-night
coffee or something like that.
528
01:06:17,833 --> 01:06:23,249
But the advice I always give,
when you go in, don't follow the crowd,
529
01:06:23,333 --> 01:06:27,031
because they all go up
the main central escalator.
530
01:06:27,750 --> 01:06:31,414
But I always dive
to the side of the store
531
01:06:31,500 --> 01:06:35,870
where I know there's another staircase
and run up there to the first floor
532
01:06:35,958 --> 01:06:40,749
because I know what I want
because I'd been the week before
533
01:06:40,833 --> 01:06:44,076
and I knew I wanted
this, you know, particular dress.
534
01:06:44,167 --> 01:06:45,954
And there it was...
535
01:08:21,542 --> 01:08:27,083
You've reached 01632 960786.
536
01:08:27,167 --> 01:08:31,241
I'm not in right now, but if you leave
a message I'll get straight back to you.
537
01:08:32,500 --> 01:08:34,662
Pick up the phone,
it's the Police Force.
538
01:08:34,750 --> 01:08:36,537
Pick up the phone this instant.
539
01:09:00,125 --> 01:09:02,538
If you need anything,
don't hesitate to ask.
540
01:09:02,625 --> 01:09:03,957
Oh, thank you.
541
01:09:09,750 --> 01:09:11,912
Oh, that does look nice on you.
542
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:14,538
Really? I might freeze to death in this.
543
01:09:14,625 --> 01:09:17,823
Think about your summer cruise
along the Adriatic
544
01:09:17,917 --> 01:09:19,909
with the breeze running through
that dress
545
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:23,619
as you sip your sparkling wine
with the captain on deck.
546
01:09:32,333 --> 01:09:34,871
I can't afford a cruise
this summer.
547
01:09:35,667 --> 01:09:37,750
Well, if you need any help,
just let me know.
548
01:09:37,833 --> 01:09:39,199
Thank you.
549
01:09:46,708 --> 01:09:48,745
All right, mate.
Just that, please.
550
01:10:08,583 --> 01:10:13,078
Welcome to Amesos, dear guest.
My name is Sandro. And you are?
551
01:10:13,375 --> 01:10:14,957
Uh... Reg Speaks.
552
01:10:15,042 --> 01:10:16,829
May I take your lucky order?
553
01:10:17,625 --> 01:10:19,833
Just a kebab will be fine. And chips.
554
01:10:19,917 --> 01:10:21,624
Kebab and chips, instantly.
555
01:10:21,708 --> 01:10:26,874
Uh... Sorry, no bags on the table.
Is not nice. And drinks?
556
01:10:27,292 --> 01:10:31,957
Reggie!
557
01:10:32,042 --> 01:10:37,242
Down it! Down it!
Down it! Down it! Down it!
558
01:10:37,333 --> 01:10:39,290
Oi, oi!
559
01:10:39,375 --> 01:10:40,536
I'm soaked!
560
01:10:40,625 --> 01:10:42,912
Never mind, Reg. Never mind.
561
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:48,541
As your best man, I come equipped,
excuse me, for every eventuality.
562
01:10:48,625 --> 01:10:52,949
You need new clothing?
Look no further.
563
01:10:53,042 --> 01:10:55,034
I always knew you had a feminine side.
564
01:10:55,125 --> 01:10:57,993
What choice has he got with Babs around?
565
01:10:58,083 --> 01:11:01,497
Well, don't just look at it. I didn't
just buy it for the missus, you know!
566
01:11:01,583 --> 01:11:04,496
- I can't put it on in here.
- "I can't put it on in here."
567
01:11:04,583 --> 01:11:06,018
- Go on, get it on.
- It won't fit me.
568
01:11:06,042 --> 01:11:08,125
It'll fit you,
don't worry about that, go on.
569
01:11:08,208 --> 01:11:10,325
Yeah, come on,
you big girl's blouse, get it on!
570
01:11:10,417 --> 01:11:13,376
Come on, Reg! Don't let the side down!
571
01:12:16,458 --> 01:12:18,324
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
572
01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:21,330
- Wait, where's the dummy?
- Oi! Clipper!
573
01:12:27,250 --> 01:12:28,661
Speech! Speech
574
01:12:28,750 --> 01:12:33,541
Speech! Speech! Speech!
Speech! Speech! Speech!
575
01:12:33,625 --> 01:12:36,038
Oh, you bloody tosspot.
I'll do it, all right?
576
01:12:36,125 --> 01:12:39,618
Reg here has been hanging
around my house,
577
01:12:39,708 --> 01:12:44,749
or more specifically,
my daughter's bedroom, since he was 17.
578
01:12:44,833 --> 01:12:47,075
Now we all love Reg, don't we? Don't we?
579
01:12:47,958 --> 01:12:51,702
I mean, he always gets a round in,
good at five-a-side,
580
01:12:51,792 --> 01:12:55,786
and I gotta say,
he's always good around Babs.
581
01:12:57,000 --> 01:12:58,787
And that ain't no easy task.
582
01:12:58,875 --> 01:13:00,457
You can say that again.
583
01:13:00,542 --> 01:13:03,831
But seriously,
we've got a good 'un here.
584
01:13:04,750 --> 01:13:06,332
He's solid, our Reg.
585
01:13:07,875 --> 01:13:12,324
But if you ever, ever
mess with my Babs,
586
01:13:12,417 --> 01:13:15,615
I'll take you straight down,
make no mistake. You got that?
587
01:13:16,833 --> 01:13:18,495
Steady on, Bananas.
588
01:13:18,583 --> 01:13:22,202
No, no, it has to be said.
Best to get it out of the way now.
589
01:13:22,292 --> 01:13:25,160
Now come on, son. Give us a hug!
590
01:13:25,250 --> 01:13:30,700
- No, no, no, come on, that's enough!
- Reg Speaks! I salute you!
591
01:13:30,792 --> 01:13:33,375
- To Reg and Babs!
- To Reg and Babs!
592
01:13:33,458 --> 01:13:35,791
And here's to your first divorce!
593
01:13:35,875 --> 01:13:37,707
Oi, oi! Less of that, all right?
594
01:14:55,625 --> 01:14:59,039
But he doesn't have to roll
his eyes at every suggestion I make.
595
01:14:59,125 --> 01:15:02,243
It's always this "I know better"
attitude whenever I deal with Andre.
596
01:15:02,333 --> 01:15:05,952
At this rate, I'll get Reg to DJ,
assuming he recovers.
597
01:15:06,042 --> 01:15:08,329
It's a chamber of booze
and methane in here.
598
01:15:08,417 --> 01:15:10,579
I'm surprised
it hasn't killed the canary.
599
01:15:11,917 --> 01:15:13,249
No idea.
600
01:15:14,125 --> 01:15:17,289
He'll stuff it down him and it's always
the same. He never puts on any weight.
601
01:15:17,375 --> 01:15:20,243
No idea how the jammy bastard does it.
It's so unfair.
602
01:15:21,750 --> 01:15:25,073
Look, let me know if Andre is willing
to be more flexible with the music
603
01:15:25,167 --> 01:15:27,705
otherwise we don't pay. Simple as that.
604
01:15:28,458 --> 01:15:30,324
Exactly. See you later.
605
01:15:41,208 --> 01:15:44,531
Oi! Stop squeezing my spots, yeah?
606
01:15:44,625 --> 01:15:46,036
Knew that would wake you.
607
01:15:46,125 --> 01:15:47,832
Just ease it on, Babs.
608
01:15:47,917 --> 01:15:49,829
Good night, then?
609
01:15:50,250 --> 01:15:53,209
Wish I had a tape of you banging on
about how you weren't gonna drink.
610
01:15:53,292 --> 01:15:56,126
It's not the drink,
it's just a dirty kebab.
611
01:15:56,208 --> 01:15:59,246
Yeah, right. Don't know why
you hang out with that lot.
612
01:15:59,333 --> 01:16:01,040
You know what they'll get you into.
613
01:16:01,125 --> 01:16:04,368
We didn't do anything.
It's just a dirty kebab.
614
01:16:04,458 --> 01:16:06,791
Dirty kebab my arse, Reg Speaks.
615
01:16:06,875 --> 01:16:09,333
All you had to do
was not accept the drinks.
616
01:16:09,417 --> 01:16:11,534
I didn't want to let the side down.
617
01:16:12,542 --> 01:16:14,374
You gonna lay in bed like that all day?
618
01:16:16,417 --> 01:16:19,160
You know Andre
now wants to do a soundcheck?
619
01:16:23,333 --> 01:16:25,541
What's a... What's a soundcheck?
620
01:16:25,625 --> 01:16:27,207
He wants to check all the gear.
621
01:16:27,292 --> 01:16:30,581
He says it takes three hours. It's gonna
cut right through the wedding.
622
01:16:30,667 --> 01:16:32,875
It's just playing records, innit?
623
01:16:32,958 --> 01:16:34,665
Well, you speak to him, then.
624
01:16:34,750 --> 01:16:37,413
I can't deal with
that weasel-mouthed diva any more.
625
01:16:37,500 --> 01:16:38,911
Every time I question something,
626
01:16:39,000 --> 01:16:41,663
he just comes back at me
claiming he's a perfectionist.
627
01:16:41,750 --> 01:16:43,082
Not now, yeah?
628
01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:47,788
- What's that?
- Huh? What?
629
01:16:57,458 --> 01:17:00,496
Oi! Cottrell wants to take you on.
630
01:17:00,583 --> 01:17:02,199
About what?
631
01:17:02,292 --> 01:17:04,124
You didn't invite him to the stag.
632
01:17:04,208 --> 01:17:07,451
But, I-I didn't think
it was his thing.
633
01:17:08,417 --> 01:17:10,409
You try telling that to Cottrell.
634
01:17:36,333 --> 01:17:38,120
Gary said you wanted to see me.
635
01:18:02,125 --> 01:18:05,823
So how long's it gonna take
to get that spare whatever you call it?
636
01:18:05,917 --> 01:18:09,365
- Probably about ten days.
- Ten days?
637
01:18:10,375 --> 01:18:13,368
Well, could be sooner if I can get
one of my colleagues to drop it over.
638
01:18:13,458 --> 01:18:16,201
- Too busy to do it yourself?
- I'll be on my honeymoon then.
639
01:18:16,292 --> 01:18:19,456
Honeymoon? Oh. Congratulations.
640
01:18:19,542 --> 01:18:22,501
And what's the destination? Tenerife?
641
01:18:22,583 --> 01:18:25,576
Uh, Lost John's Cave. Up in Lancs.
642
01:18:26,375 --> 01:18:29,083
- The wife's got a thing about caves.
- Oh.
643
01:18:29,167 --> 01:18:32,490
- Already calling her the wife?
- She's called me worse.
644
01:18:32,583 --> 01:18:34,575
And what's the wife's name?
645
01:18:35,708 --> 01:18:39,827
Her name's Babs. She works
at Ambrook's Razors, dispatch manager.
646
01:18:39,917 --> 01:18:42,955
Ambrook's? Yeah, my sister used to
go out with a bloke from Ambrook's.
647
01:18:43,042 --> 01:18:44,283
Really nice fella, too.
648
01:18:44,375 --> 01:18:46,833
Oh, that, um...
that must be Phil Keeble.
649
01:18:46,917 --> 01:18:49,284
Why? No one else nice at Ambrook's?
650
01:18:51,042 --> 01:18:52,704
What's your fianc�e like?
651
01:18:53,792 --> 01:18:55,283
She's all right, yeah.
652
01:18:55,750 --> 01:18:57,241
How long have you been together?
653
01:18:57,333 --> 01:18:59,791
Fourteen, fifteen years.
Something like that.
654
01:18:59,875 --> 01:19:01,616
Why get married now?
655
01:19:02,417 --> 01:19:06,161
I dunno. It's just always been Babs.
656
01:19:06,583 --> 01:19:08,324
You've never been out with anyone else?
657
01:19:08,417 --> 01:19:10,704
- No.
- Never tempted?
658
01:19:12,042 --> 01:19:13,499
Not really. It's just Babs.
659
01:19:13,583 --> 01:19:15,996
You're telling me
you never ever get tempted?
660
01:19:16,083 --> 01:19:19,622
You never even look at another woman
walking down the street?
661
01:19:21,792 --> 01:19:25,018
I can see there's also a problem with the
way the belt rides over the pump pulley.
662
01:19:25,042 --> 01:19:26,749
Small-talk time's up, then?
663
01:19:27,542 --> 01:19:29,750
I've got Mrs Beckley
up the road at five.
664
01:19:30,208 --> 01:19:31,574
Really?
665
01:19:33,333 --> 01:19:35,245
What's your name, young sir?
666
01:19:36,542 --> 01:19:38,454
Uh, Reg Speaks.
667
01:19:39,417 --> 01:19:41,033
Reg Speaks.
668
01:19:42,958 --> 01:19:46,030
My ex-husband used to say
he never looked at other women.
669
01:19:46,125 --> 01:19:50,074
He's probably selling the same lie
to his new wife as we speak.
670
01:19:50,625 --> 01:19:53,789
What I'd give to know what goes on
in the male mind.
671
01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:56,912
Any thoughts?
672
01:19:58,125 --> 01:20:01,289
It doesn't ride properly
over the transmission drive.
673
01:20:01,917 --> 01:20:03,533
All that tension on the belt
674
01:20:03,625 --> 01:20:06,333
is creating havoc with the washers
on the clutch shaft.
675
01:20:07,667 --> 01:20:09,909
The transmission mounting bolts
have come loose,
676
01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:12,208
which might have been
affecting the washer.
677
01:20:12,292 --> 01:20:15,911
The clutch assembly seems to have lost
connection with the low-speed solenoid,
678
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:19,038
but I can check the motor wiring
at the transmission block.
679
01:20:19,875 --> 01:20:23,539
The agitator hub seems to be intact
along with the transmission shaft,
680
01:20:24,250 --> 01:20:27,243
but the plungers are no longer fitting
into the wigwags.
681
01:20:28,125 --> 01:20:30,162
If you let me have a look
at the wigwag terminals,
682
01:20:30,250 --> 01:20:32,583
I can be more specific
about the problem,
683
01:20:33,125 --> 01:20:34,125
but looking at it now,
684
01:20:34,208 --> 01:20:37,372
I can see the wigwag drive shaft
is no longer working...
685
01:20:42,750 --> 01:20:44,742
Why did you invite Chris Dale
to the wedding?
686
01:20:44,833 --> 01:20:45,994
Not now.
687
01:20:46,083 --> 01:20:48,575
In other words,
yet another pointless guest of yours.
688
01:20:48,667 --> 01:20:51,375
- He taught me judo.
- Yeah, when you were 17
689
01:20:51,458 --> 01:20:55,031
and even then you legged it when
Roj Lines wanted your dinner money!
690
01:20:55,125 --> 01:20:58,618
Half the people on that list never
bothered to invite us to their weddings.
691
01:20:58,708 --> 01:21:00,495
And you can definitely
drop Greg and Tina.
692
01:21:00,583 --> 01:21:03,417
- Why?
- Because they invited themselves!
693
01:21:03,500 --> 01:21:06,538
Other thing with them is
that opens the door to Dave and Sarah,
694
01:21:06,625 --> 01:21:09,948
Justin and Linda, Nick and Charlie,
and Adrian and Russ.
695
01:21:10,042 --> 01:21:11,078
Invite Greg and Tina
696
01:21:11,167 --> 01:21:13,955
and you automatically
have to invite those jokers as well.
697
01:21:14,042 --> 01:21:15,328
Nip it in the bud.
698
01:21:16,500 --> 01:21:18,162
- Are you listening?
- Yes!
699
01:22:12,292 --> 01:22:13,328
Look.
700
01:22:16,375 --> 01:22:17,411
What do you think?
701
01:22:18,958 --> 01:22:20,540
It's all right, yeah.
702
01:22:20,625 --> 01:22:22,833
Wash the stink out
and it could be all right on me.
703
01:22:23,625 --> 01:22:24,741
You like me in it?
704
01:22:24,833 --> 01:22:28,452
Yeah. Maybe try it with some tights.
705
01:22:28,917 --> 01:22:29,917
Why?
706
01:22:30,958 --> 01:22:33,917
I dunno. It's a bit nippy out there.
707
01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:36,743
I've told you a million times,
they make my legs itch.
708
01:22:36,833 --> 01:22:38,790
You don't need anything else with this.
709
01:22:38,875 --> 01:22:40,491
It's fine by itself, look.
710
01:22:41,292 --> 01:22:43,158
Where did Clipper get it from?
711
01:22:43,250 --> 01:22:45,242
Some shop or other, I dunno.
712
01:22:45,333 --> 01:22:47,120
It's a size 36.
713
01:22:48,625 --> 01:22:49,991
How come you fit into it?
714
01:22:50,083 --> 01:22:51,244
Yeah.
715
01:22:51,667 --> 01:22:53,329
- You listening?
- I like it, yeah!
716
01:22:53,417 --> 01:22:57,536
You don't get it, do you?
How comes you fit into a size 36?
717
01:23:09,208 --> 01:23:10,790
Reg!
718
01:23:13,583 --> 01:23:16,747
- Not the fleece!
- It stinks! Wear the other one.
719
01:23:21,542 --> 01:23:25,331
Like a whisper
in an ocean, like a feather in a storm,
720
01:23:25,417 --> 01:23:31,163
a dress of deduction finds its character
in a prism of retail abstraction.
721
01:23:31,250 --> 01:23:34,084
See? It's a 38 and it's tight.
722
01:23:34,167 --> 01:23:37,080
- Get a size up, then.
- So, you think it's tight?
723
01:23:38,125 --> 01:23:41,289
No, I thought that's what you just said.
724
01:23:47,583 --> 01:23:49,119
Bloody useless.
725
01:24:09,875 --> 01:24:15,917
Villainy! Now the horrid repercussions
will abate your rank, madam!
726
01:24:22,167 --> 01:24:23,248
You!
727
01:24:27,792 --> 01:24:30,956
Over 45 minutes they had me
on hold and then the line goes dead.
728
01:24:31,042 --> 01:24:32,624
That's my whole lunch break gone.
729
01:24:32,708 --> 01:24:34,601
You could've had your sandwiches
while you were on hold.
730
01:24:34,625 --> 01:24:37,163
How am I supposed to eat
if I'm all worked up like that?
731
01:24:37,250 --> 01:24:39,492
I should've never gone
for that store card.
732
01:24:39,583 --> 01:24:42,121
All that bloody hassle
just for a stupid free umbrella
733
01:24:42,208 --> 01:24:44,200
which you ended up losing.
734
01:24:44,292 --> 01:24:46,204
Even when I went in there
to try and cancel it,
735
01:24:46,292 --> 01:24:48,454
the woman kept me waiting
for 30 minutes.
736
01:24:48,542 --> 01:24:50,534
No apology, nothing.
737
01:24:51,250 --> 01:24:52,286
Reg?
738
01:24:54,417 --> 01:24:57,990
Reg? Reg, are you listening?
739
01:24:59,333 --> 01:25:00,665
Reg?
740
01:25:04,292 --> 01:25:06,705
Let me just try this on you.
741
01:25:06,792 --> 01:25:08,124
See if it fits.
742
01:25:11,542 --> 01:25:14,580
There, that'll keep you warm and cosy.
743
01:25:15,583 --> 01:25:19,873
He's very patient, isn't he? Not like
most of the boys we get in here.
744
01:25:20,500 --> 01:25:22,207
What's your name, young sir?
745
01:25:22,292 --> 01:25:25,911
Reginald! Get a move on
or we're going to miss the badminton.
746
01:25:28,792 --> 01:25:30,351
You need to ask Clipper
where he got it from.
747
01:25:30,375 --> 01:25:32,162
Knowing him,
it's some second-hand shop.
748
01:25:32,250 --> 01:25:33,741
What's that got to do with it?
749
01:25:33,833 --> 01:25:36,826
Think about it! We both got
the same rash, we both wore the dress.
750
01:25:36,917 --> 01:25:39,375
You never heard of scabies?
751
01:25:39,458 --> 01:25:42,496
Reg? Reg!
752
01:25:43,417 --> 01:25:44,703
What?
753
01:25:56,042 --> 01:25:59,410
- You think we'll need a new one?
- Hopefully not. Let's see, yeah?
754
01:25:59,500 --> 01:26:02,868
- What was wrong with it?
- Basket drive went bananas.
755
01:26:03,500 --> 01:26:04,500
The basket drive?
756
01:26:04,583 --> 01:26:08,202
Yeah, the basket drive.
Just went bananas.
757
01:26:08,292 --> 01:26:10,454
And the spin tube bearings
are knackered.
758
01:26:11,083 --> 01:26:13,416
I tried to check the clutch surface
for any damage
759
01:26:13,500 --> 01:26:16,868
and found that the rivets were
rubbing up against the clutch pulley.
760
01:26:16,958 --> 01:26:20,076
There's also the possibility
that the drain hose is kinked,
761
01:26:20,167 --> 01:26:23,956
but I can put that into writing for you
after a more thorough inspection.
762
01:26:25,042 --> 01:26:27,409
The clutch plate is no longer a plate
763
01:26:27,500 --> 01:26:31,039
and the switch striker
is neither switching nor striking.
764
01:26:31,125 --> 01:26:32,866
If I can get to the wigwag solenoid,
765
01:26:32,958 --> 01:26:35,792
there is a chance I can find out
why the washer didn't drain.
766
01:26:36,750 --> 01:26:40,744
The blocked pump isn't helping matters
and the agitator leaves me at a loss.
767
01:26:42,500 --> 01:26:46,540
I can also see that the wigwag terminals
are not where they're supposed to be,
768
01:26:46,625 --> 01:26:47,991
which leads me to the conclusion
769
01:26:48,083 --> 01:26:50,325
that this washing machine
is dysfunctional...
770
01:27:50,875 --> 01:27:55,165
- Oi! Cottrell's looking for you.
- What now?
771
01:27:55,250 --> 01:28:00,416
One of your neighbours reported you.
Just tell me you didn't do it.
772
01:28:00,500 --> 01:28:02,583
I had to, it was an emergency.
773
01:28:02,667 --> 01:28:04,579
You know the rules, Reg!
774
01:28:04,667 --> 01:28:08,115
You fix your own machine,
it still has to go through the books.
775
01:28:08,208 --> 01:28:12,532
- I bought my own spare parts.
- And? Who paid for your training?
776
01:28:13,792 --> 01:28:16,830
You've really let the side down,
do you know that?
777
01:28:16,917 --> 01:28:20,206
Now get in there
before Cottrell takes me on as well.
778
01:30:18,542 --> 01:30:20,909
I've had it with Andre.
779
01:30:21,000 --> 01:30:22,207
If he vetoes one more song,
780
01:30:22,292 --> 01:30:24,909
I'm gonna stick that turntable
up his miserable backside!
781
01:30:25,000 --> 01:30:27,037
Where'd you learn
to talk like that?
782
01:30:27,125 --> 01:30:30,084
Oh, it's easy for you to say. You're not
the one having to deal with him.
783
01:30:30,167 --> 01:30:34,366
Every time I say no to something,
he just says, "Why? Why? Why?"
784
01:30:34,458 --> 01:30:36,791
Maybe I can make
a compilation tape.
785
01:30:36,875 --> 01:30:39,037
- Save us a bit of money too.
- You're joking, right?
786
01:30:39,125 --> 01:30:41,492
Your record collection
wouldn't even get a flea jumping.
787
01:30:41,583 --> 01:30:44,075
Ease it on, Babs.
I'm only trying to help.
788
01:30:47,083 --> 01:30:48,699
What's this doing down here?
789
01:30:51,042 --> 01:30:52,783
Sorry, I didn't see that there.
790
01:30:57,750 --> 01:30:59,867
- What are you doing? They stay there.
- Why?
791
01:31:03,292 --> 01:31:05,768
Now come in the kitchen you two.
I've got a cheesecake for you both.
792
01:31:05,792 --> 01:31:07,283
Oh, lovely. Cheers, darling.
793
01:31:11,458 --> 01:31:12,574
You're not worried?
794
01:31:13,542 --> 01:31:15,875
- About what?
- That.
795
01:31:17,333 --> 01:31:19,700
It's probably just
the washing powder we use.
796
01:31:19,792 --> 01:31:22,034
- You don't think it's scabies?
- No.
797
01:31:22,125 --> 01:31:23,866
- An allergy?
- No.
798
01:31:25,250 --> 01:31:28,618
- Something venereal?
- You tell me.
799
01:31:28,708 --> 01:31:30,916
- I haven't slept around.
- Me neither.
800
01:31:32,333 --> 01:31:34,575
- Does that mean you love me, then?
- Yeah.
801
01:32:05,542 --> 01:32:07,408
She's asphyxiated.
802
01:32:07,500 --> 01:32:09,412
How can a dress asphyxiate it?
803
01:32:09,500 --> 01:32:12,868
Well, how else did she die?
She's barely a year old.
804
01:32:12,958 --> 01:32:16,122
- Could be carbon monoxide.
- We'd be dead then.
805
01:32:16,208 --> 01:32:20,157
- Not if it's a small leak.
- You're scaring me now.
806
01:32:20,250 --> 01:32:22,913
I'll come back
and take a look on my lunch break.
807
01:32:23,000 --> 01:32:25,788
No way can you get home
and back in an hour.
808
01:32:25,875 --> 01:32:28,208
Go off to work.
I'll look at it during lunch.
809
01:32:28,875 --> 01:32:31,413
- If the flame turns orange, call me.
- Yeah, yeah.
810
01:32:33,292 --> 01:32:34,453
What are you doing?
811
01:32:35,333 --> 01:32:37,040
Uh... You're going to be late.
812
01:32:38,167 --> 01:32:41,706
Go! Before Cottrell shoves a firework
up your backside.
813
01:32:45,083 --> 01:32:47,871
Reg, go! I've got to do my hair.
814
01:32:53,250 --> 01:32:54,707
Thanks for coming in, Reg.
815
01:32:54,792 --> 01:32:57,034
When our neighbour heard
you were coming in for a loan,
816
01:32:57,125 --> 01:32:59,913
- he wanted to pass on his greetings.
- Oh, who was that?
817
01:33:00,000 --> 01:33:02,117
Mr Watlington,
your physics teacher.
818
01:33:02,208 --> 01:33:03,208
Oh, right.
819
01:33:03,292 --> 01:33:06,285
He also wanted to pass on
his apologies for hitting you so often.
820
01:33:06,375 --> 01:33:07,375
It's OK.
821
01:33:07,458 --> 01:33:09,495
It was a bit of
a Reg Speaks evening, in fact.
822
01:33:09,583 --> 01:33:12,906
He kept telling us
about you at school,
823
01:33:13,000 --> 01:33:16,243
and to tell you the truth,
he was sad to hear about your finances
824
01:33:16,333 --> 01:33:18,245
when we showed him
your loan application.
825
01:33:18,667 --> 01:33:20,249
Now, with that in mind, of course,
826
01:33:20,333 --> 01:33:23,326
we'd love to consider
your thoughtful request.
827
01:33:23,417 --> 01:33:25,659
But given that Staverton's kicked you out,
828
01:33:25,750 --> 01:33:27,867
we're somewhat reluctant to sign it off.
829
01:33:27,958 --> 01:33:29,915
What about here?
I heard there was a job going.
830
01:33:30,000 --> 01:33:31,957
Sorry, that's taken, I'm afraid.
831
01:33:32,042 --> 01:33:35,018
Though I did see a sign at Dentley and
Soper's saying they were looking for someone
832
01:33:35,042 --> 01:33:37,785
in the male alliance
of clothing and costume.
833
01:33:37,875 --> 01:33:39,787
No, no, but looking in the sense
834
01:33:39,875 --> 01:33:41,832
- that one of the staff has disappeared.
- Oh.
835
01:33:41,917 --> 01:33:44,751
They're just trying to find him.
They're not advertising a job.
836
01:33:44,833 --> 01:33:47,371
Oh, silly me. It's my mistake.
837
01:34:09,458 --> 01:34:13,327
Now, the only loan we can offer
is the deferred employment package.
838
01:34:13,417 --> 01:34:14,498
DEP.
839
01:34:14,583 --> 01:34:16,575
It's what we like to call
a motivational loan.
840
01:34:16,667 --> 01:34:18,533
It helps our customers
get back on their feet
841
01:34:18,625 --> 01:34:20,912
and back into the job market.
842
01:34:21,000 --> 01:34:22,866
With that kind of interest rate?
843
01:34:22,958 --> 01:34:24,620
That's just advisory.
844
01:34:25,917 --> 01:34:32,073
Reg, Clive and I had someone over
from Staverton's a few years back
845
01:34:32,167 --> 01:34:33,829
and we still think a lot about
846
01:34:33,917 --> 01:34:37,115
how nicely he talked us through
the whole process of fixing our machine.
847
01:34:37,208 --> 01:34:40,827
And we thought seeing as we'll be having
Reg Speaks in the room,
848
01:34:40,917 --> 01:34:43,204
maybe he could do
something similar for us?
849
01:34:44,333 --> 01:34:46,199
It would mean a lot to us, Reg.
850
01:34:46,708 --> 01:34:48,415
But there's no machine here.
851
01:34:49,000 --> 01:34:50,787
You could pretend there's one.
852
01:34:50,875 --> 01:34:52,707
Nobody needs to know.
853
01:34:52,792 --> 01:34:54,203
But I can't just...
854
01:34:54,292 --> 01:34:58,241
Just try. Then we can look
at more favourable rates for you.
855
01:34:59,625 --> 01:35:00,661
It'll be fun.
856
01:35:04,625 --> 01:35:05,786
Um...
857
01:35:09,542 --> 01:35:12,580
Plungers on old machines
tend to stop retracting,
858
01:35:12,667 --> 01:35:15,125
which means a knock-on effect
with the washer.
859
01:35:17,792 --> 01:35:20,705
A-Also the belt drive had come off.
860
01:35:24,042 --> 01:35:30,323
The inlet valve might have been blocked,
but I can't verify that.
861
01:35:30,417 --> 01:35:32,158
It s-seems...
862
01:35:32,250 --> 01:35:35,618
It's OK. It's OK, Reg.
No one's forcing you.
863
01:35:37,792 --> 01:35:40,626
If it helps. we could kick it off
in a role-play scenario.
864
01:35:40,917 --> 01:35:43,830
Yeah. A lot of loan applicants
find our Tudor courtroom scenario
865
01:35:43,917 --> 01:35:45,203
puts them at ease.
866
01:35:45,292 --> 01:35:47,158
Clothes still needed washing then.
867
01:35:47,250 --> 01:35:48,582
That's right.
868
01:35:52,542 --> 01:35:53,874
What's the matter, Reg?
869
01:35:53,958 --> 01:35:56,826
You spoke so clearly and nicely
when you first came in.
870
01:35:56,917 --> 01:35:59,034
Oh, no, um, nothing.
871
01:35:59,125 --> 01:36:02,118
I-I'm just a bit tender
these days, that's all.
872
01:36:04,000 --> 01:36:05,116
How come?
873
01:36:06,500 --> 01:36:11,825
Just a sleeping dream I had last night.
It's been on my mind all day.
874
01:36:12,917 --> 01:36:14,283
Interesting.
875
01:36:14,375 --> 01:36:18,790
We're here for you Reg. Sometimes
it can help to discuss these things.
876
01:36:21,542 --> 01:36:26,867
Well, Babs, my fianc�e, was in labour.
877
01:36:26,958 --> 01:36:29,917
I was late, so at that point,
the door was locked.
878
01:36:32,542 --> 01:36:35,410
I tried to take on her pain
just to make her feel better.
879
01:36:47,083 --> 01:36:49,370
I kept screaming
to show how much I cared,
880
01:36:49,458 --> 01:36:52,121
but itjust seemed to annoy everyone.
881
01:36:53,792 --> 01:36:56,910
I kept knocking on the window
in the hope that they'd let me in.
882
01:37:05,458 --> 01:37:09,407
The baby came out of Babs in this dress
that looked exactly the same
883
01:37:09,500 --> 01:37:11,708
as the one I wore
on my stag night at ZinZan's.
884
01:37:12,875 --> 01:37:16,414
I wanted to wave at my little girl,
but she wasn't having it.
885
01:37:18,125 --> 01:37:20,959
She made it clear
that I should sling my hook.
886
01:37:27,750 --> 01:37:30,333
- What was her name?
- Babs Junior.
887
01:37:31,958 --> 01:37:32,958
Interesting.
888
01:37:33,042 --> 01:37:36,956
Reminds me of a dream Stash and I had
when we put the sand dunes in the wash.
889
01:37:37,042 --> 01:37:41,457
Oh, yeah, that. Kept bypassing
the spin cycle, I remember now.
890
01:37:42,083 --> 01:37:43,244
Was it an old machine?
891
01:37:43,333 --> 01:37:45,791
No, no, it was brand new.
Wasn't it, Stash?
892
01:37:45,875 --> 01:37:47,616
Yeah, very strange.
893
01:37:47,708 --> 01:37:50,826
Did you check the belt
if it was broken or loose?
894
01:37:50,917 --> 01:37:52,783
That could have been
the problem with it.
895
01:37:52,875 --> 01:37:56,915
That's what we were wondering,
but maybe it was something else.
896
01:37:57,000 --> 01:37:58,241
What do you think, Reg?
897
01:37:59,375 --> 01:38:02,664
It's probably a problem with the wigwag
and its rotational pull.
898
01:38:03,375 --> 01:38:06,493
Plungers on doors
sometimes don't align with the seal,
899
01:38:06,583 --> 01:38:08,745
but the lid switch is often to blame.
900
01:38:09,542 --> 01:38:12,501
The inner tub
might've sustained serious dents
901
01:38:12,583 --> 01:38:15,451
resulting in the belt drive
loosening or coming off,
902
01:38:16,042 --> 01:38:18,830
but that's usually a problem
with older machines.
903
01:38:19,667 --> 01:38:23,490
The lid switch and its actuator,
the motor coupler or door lock assembly
904
01:38:23,583 --> 01:38:27,532
are the first things to check when
a new machine bypasses the spin cycle.
905
01:38:28,833 --> 01:38:32,201
The agitator drive shaft and spin tube
linked to the transmission
906
01:38:32,292 --> 01:38:34,659
can come loose from the tub struts.
907
01:38:35,333 --> 01:38:37,541
If the helix doesn't release the brake
908
01:38:37,625 --> 01:38:40,493
and the belt tensioner
doesn't allow slippage...
909
01:40:03,167 --> 01:40:04,203
Imagine,
910
01:40:04,292 --> 01:40:08,366
trading will cease at a premature hour
on this, the twelfth day of sales.
911
01:40:08,917 --> 01:40:11,125
There lie other boutiques
to your discernment.
912
01:40:11,208 --> 01:40:12,415
But I'm in the store now.
913
01:40:12,500 --> 01:40:15,868
You can't just turf me out.
Customer rules and all that.
914
01:40:15,958 --> 01:40:18,575
You must conclude your perusal
immediately, then.
915
01:40:18,667 --> 01:40:21,785
Excuse me? I've worked in retail.
916
01:40:21,875 --> 01:40:23,741
Once the customer
steps through the door,
917
01:40:23,833 --> 01:40:27,247
you see it through to the last.
That's what I had to do.
918
01:40:27,333 --> 01:40:30,826
The doors you passed through
are doors in perpetual revolve
919
01:40:30,917 --> 01:40:33,159
and thus not a veritable indication
920
01:40:33,250 --> 01:40:35,788
of the time in which you thought
you might have set heel
921
01:40:35,875 --> 01:40:39,789
in Dentley and Soper's
Trusted Department Store, mate.
922
01:40:39,875 --> 01:40:41,332
You call those doors revolving?
923
01:40:41,417 --> 01:40:42,453
Hm-hmm.
924
01:40:42,542 --> 01:40:44,955
Listen, I'm here
to choose a dress, yeah?
925
01:40:45,042 --> 01:40:48,911
Pick something up, try it on,
pay for it, and then leave you in peace.
926
01:40:49,000 --> 01:40:52,198
By the time you've thought of another
excuse to get me out, I'll be done,
927
01:40:52,292 --> 01:40:53,408
mate!
928
01:40:55,167 --> 01:40:59,867
This dress. So shabby, so unkempt.
929
01:40:59,958 --> 01:41:04,623
We have rules here about presentation,
about hygiene, about conduct.
930
01:41:05,375 --> 01:41:07,367
A required pedigree of shopping
931
01:41:07,458 --> 01:41:10,906
is an aspiration
we flowerfully seal to our hearts.
932
01:41:11,000 --> 01:41:15,040
Please, return in a different dress
and we will welcome you back.
933
01:41:15,917 --> 01:41:18,955
If you let me buy a new dress, I will.
934
01:41:19,042 --> 01:41:20,158
Psst!
935
01:41:43,208 --> 01:41:48,374
I now announce you extension time.
Congratulations.
936
01:41:49,292 --> 01:41:51,204
I never thought I'd say this,
937
01:41:51,292 --> 01:41:53,500
but you lot could all do with
a good shag.
938
01:43:11,625 --> 01:43:15,494
Such an intimate document
of finesse and joy.
939
01:43:15,583 --> 01:43:18,451
Nice to see a catalogue
with ladies bigger than me for once.
940
01:43:19,208 --> 01:43:21,951
Pray tell, your measurements would be?
941
01:43:23,792 --> 01:43:26,409
- Guess.
- Thirty-six.
942
01:43:27,667 --> 01:43:30,159
- Really?
- Thirty-six.
943
01:43:31,333 --> 01:43:32,619
You're not just saying that?
944
01:43:32,958 --> 01:43:34,119
Thirty-six.
945
01:43:34,917 --> 01:43:39,617
Thirty-six. I had a sleeping dream
I was a size thirty-six.
946
01:43:40,750 --> 01:43:43,117
And I went out with my friends
to ZinZan's to celebrate,
947
01:43:43,208 --> 01:43:45,370
but it wasn't ZinZan's.
948
01:43:46,083 --> 01:43:47,415
It was here.
949
01:43:48,875 --> 01:43:50,366
That was where it was.
950
01:43:51,583 --> 01:43:55,156
It was in this room
and in this catalogue.
951
01:43:55,958 --> 01:43:59,372
Every image was of me in this slip
getting skinnier and skinnier,
952
01:43:59,458 --> 01:44:01,415
but the measurements written next to me
953
01:44:01,500 --> 01:44:03,036
were getting bigger and bigger.
954
01:44:03,542 --> 01:44:05,625
I rang the staff bell for assistance.
955
01:44:06,500 --> 01:44:08,958
Two ladies came to my aid and told me
956
01:44:09,042 --> 01:44:10,499
to put my head between my knees
957
01:44:10,583 --> 01:44:12,620
whilst they tried
to correct the catalogue.
958
01:44:14,333 --> 01:44:17,371
36, 38.
959
01:44:20,750 --> 01:44:22,241
36, 38.
960
01:44:23,667 --> 01:44:25,203
36, 38.
961
01:44:26,625 --> 01:44:28,537
36, 38.
962
01:44:42,875 --> 01:44:45,117
36, 38.
963
01:44:49,083 --> 01:44:51,120
36, 38.
964
01:45:26,917 --> 01:45:28,408
And then they buried me.
965
01:45:29,292 --> 01:45:31,909
Here in this Trusted Department Store.
966
01:45:33,625 --> 01:45:35,036
And then they buried me.
967
01:45:39,625 --> 01:45:41,617
Your changing room is waiting for you
968
01:45:41,708 --> 01:45:46,282
and your dress to coalesce
into a simple union of wonder.
969
01:46:31,292 --> 01:46:34,000
Attention, consumers.
Attention, consumers.
970
01:46:34,083 --> 01:46:36,040
Your shopping will conclude now.
971
01:46:36,125 --> 01:46:39,243
Pay us for your items
and return to your houses.
972
01:47:02,000 --> 01:47:03,707
Thank you very much. Goodbye.
973
01:47:03,792 --> 01:47:08,116
- Goodbye to you too, dear Audrey.
- Fantastic.
974
01:47:15,083 --> 01:47:18,451
There will be this asphodel blouse
and a pair of those funeral stockings.
975
01:47:18,875 --> 01:47:20,161
Instantly!
976
01:47:21,125 --> 01:47:24,289
Excuse me, I was here first.
977
01:47:24,375 --> 01:47:26,037
No, you weren't.
978
01:47:26,125 --> 01:47:29,414
Going through that tray doesn't give you
the right to bypass the queue.
979
01:47:29,500 --> 01:47:31,366
You came here after me.
980
01:47:31,458 --> 01:47:34,041
No, I didn't. Now if you don't mind...
981
01:47:34,125 --> 01:47:36,583
Such fascination of marvel.
982
01:47:36,667 --> 01:47:40,331
Its touch to the skin,
its contour on the body.
983
01:47:40,417 --> 01:47:43,125
I will be served first.
There'll be this cinnamon bra.
984
01:47:43,208 --> 01:47:45,120
Thank you very much.
985
01:47:49,667 --> 01:47:50,999
Ladies!
986
01:47:52,333 --> 01:47:53,699
Hey!
987
01:49:53,292 --> 01:49:56,490
Blame! Blame!
988
01:50:04,500 --> 01:50:08,870
Blame! Blame!
989
01:50:17,292 --> 01:50:18,874
A dramatic affliction
990
01:50:18,958 --> 01:50:21,746
has compromised
our Trusted Department Store.
991
01:50:21,833 --> 01:50:23,699
Get out graciously.
992
01:50:26,708 --> 01:50:31,282
A dramatic affliction has compromised
our Trusted Department Store.
993
01:50:31,375 --> 01:50:34,868
Get out graciously.
994
01:50:37,958 --> 01:50:40,041
A dramatic affliction has compromised
995
01:50:40,125 --> 01:50:42,458
our Trusted Department Store.
996
01:50:42,542 --> 01:50:43,783
Get out graciously.
997
01:50:49,125 --> 01:50:53,574
A dramatic affliction has compromised
our Trusted Department Store.
998
01:50:53,667 --> 01:50:55,659
Get out graciously.
999
01:50:59,917 --> 01:51:02,079
A dramatic affliction
has compromised
1000
01:51:02,167 --> 01:51:04,124
our Trusted Department Store.
1001
01:51:04,208 --> 01:51:06,325
Get out graciously.
1002
01:51:11,125 --> 01:51:13,458
A dramatic affliction
has compromised
1003
01:51:13,542 --> 01:51:17,707
our Trusted Department Store.
Get out graciously.
1004
01:51:21,875 --> 01:51:24,288
A dramatic affliction
has compromised
1005
01:51:24,375 --> 01:51:28,415
our Trusted Department Store.
Get out graciously.
1006
01:58:02,000 --> 01:58:03,992
Subtitles: BTI Studios
1007
01:58:06,992 --> 01:58:10,992
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