1 00:01:08,778 --> 00:01:10,547 I struggle now to remember 2 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:13,175 much of my childhood. 3 00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:15,802 It only comes back to me in small fragments, 4 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:20,348 and even those memories are hard to trust. 5 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,999 I do remember his maps. 6 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:28,774 {\an8}It's true I spent most of my life being angry at him. 7 00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:31,568 {\an8}The older I get, the more I feel 8 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,154 {\an8}like I never even knew him at all. 9 00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:37,783 {\an8}My image of him now, I know, falls flat 10 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:40,285 {\an8}compared to reality. 11 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:42,996 {\an8}Thank you for your memories. 12 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,456 {\an8}They're all I have now. 13 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:51,713 I have four pillows in my car. 14 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:14,880 Okay. 15 00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:18,717 Boys, grab each one thing, and come with me in the house. 16 00:03:18,741 --> 00:03:20,260 Now. 17 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,082 Jeremy, help me with the mattress, please. 18 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,921 Ah! 19 00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:14,606 I am Miss Mousey. 20 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:23,490 Closing her eyes. 21 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:26,100 She's eating your leg. 22 00:04:48,414 --> 00:04:49,557 Mm-hmm. 23 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,394 Mom, your car keys. 24 00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:36,396 -Oh, thank you. -Come on! 25 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,047 Get out of my way, come on! 26 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,235 Come. 27 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,990 " And eventually become an evergreen forest. 28 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:31,701 "The first plants to occupy a disturbed site 29 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:34,788 "are called pioneer species, the process of processing 30 00:06:34,812 --> 00:06:36,831 into forest called succession." 31 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,223 The heron has two methods of fishing, 32 00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,558 either he waits for the prey to come to him, 33 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,311 or else he stalks it very carefully. 34 00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,806 While one protects the nest, 35 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:36,141 the other fishes 36 00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:37,934 to meet the daily increasing need for food. 37 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:43,231 As time passes, the ritual exchanges between adults 38 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,150 become less and less frequent, 39 00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:48,194 and the strong bond between them begins to weaken. 40 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,155 By the time they finally leave the colony, 41 00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:53,390 these bonds will have completely disappeared. 42 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:59,914 His flight path is sometimes obstructed by other birds. 43 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,708 The direction and force of the wind 44 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:04,169 can also prevent him from landing, 45 00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:07,172 so he takes off again and tries a new approach. 46 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:12,302 No, please, no touching! 47 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,387 The young herons have now reached 48 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:17,098 their full growth and are left on their own. 49 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,272 They find food either guided by their instinct 50 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:27,192 or by following the adults to the feeding grounds. 51 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:10,318 -Thank you. -Yeah. 52 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,469 -Come on, let's go. -Yeah. 53 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,824 Let's go to my place first. 54 00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,660 I can't wait. 55 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:21,788 Maybe you can ask your mom if we can go in the pool. 56 00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:24,582 I would love to go in the pool. 57 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,377 We could borrow some of your swimsuits. 58 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:28,836 Let's go. 59 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,445 Right over here. 60 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,805 Did you do your dance? 61 00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:40,807 Yes, I did do my dance. 62 00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:42,850 I didn't see you! 63 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,227 I know. 64 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,229 You have to do a dance before we do it. 65 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,772 Make sure you do a dance. 66 00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:50,316 It's our tradition. 67 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:54,362 Wait... 68 00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,513 Wait. She's right there. 69 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:41,242 You guys! 70 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,494 Stay calm. 71 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:44,954 Help. 72 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:48,166 Here, grab a hold of this. Stay calm. 73 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:51,586 Here we go, here we go. Yeah, just hold on. 74 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,779 Why did you do that, sweetheart? 75 00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:36,756 He wants to upset me. He wants to upset you. 76 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,560 He's... he's troubled, but he's not crazy. 77 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:50,853 And... 78 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,439 Crazy means something else. 79 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:56,317 I just don't want you to say something 80 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,676 like this about my son. 81 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:06,327 I mean, it's crazy to leave him like this. 82 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,995 That's what they told us... 83 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:10,623 don't react, just let him get bored of his own jokes. 84 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,654 Please check on him, please. 85 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,454 Is he still out there? 86 00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:51,062 Mm-hmm. 87 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:03,259 What do you think about Jeremy... how he's behaving? 88 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,285 I don't know. 89 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,851 Why do you think he's like this? 90 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,854 I don't know, Mom. 91 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,522 How did it go? 92 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:19,859 Why is your hair wet? 93 00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:23,404 We played in the sprinkler. 94 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:38,503 Um, yeah, we've seen him. 95 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:40,445 Yeah, he's just acting out. 96 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,518 No. No, I appreciate it. 97 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,817 Um, yeah, yeah. 98 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,135 No, I'm... I'm with you. Yes, yeah. 99 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,325 Who was that? 100 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,536 Jason, from across the street. 101 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,120 He wanted to let us know 102 00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,772 that our son is dead on the front step. 103 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,711 I told him we are aware and not to worry. 104 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,338 He will come back to life soon. 105 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,866 Hmm. 106 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:51,200 I woke up at 6:47. 107 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:55,496 Same, around maybe 7:00. 108 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,791 Did you know that in the ocean... 109 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,002 you know a fun fact about dolphins? 110 00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:02,503 Want to know a fun fact? 111 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:06,507 Sometimes dolphins will find a puffer fish and gang up on it 112 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:10,803 and bite onto it and then toss it around 113 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,805 like a football just to get high. 114 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,414 It's true. 115 00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:27,778 Stop it. 116 00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:30,013 I don't want to watch you eat. 117 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:43,628 Boys, do you know where's your swimsuit? 118 00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:45,671 I don't have one. 119 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:49,508 Okay, then you should wear these underwears, 120 00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:51,636 so no one will notice anyways. 121 00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:53,286 Yeah. 122 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,017 Sasha, come. 123 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,853 Let's go. 124 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:43,878 Bye. 125 00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:06,460 Jeremy. 126 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:07,736 Come. 127 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,947 Jeremy. 128 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,536 Jeremy! 129 00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,958 Jeremy, come! 130 00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:26,129 Come with me now. 131 00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,152 Seat belts on. 132 00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:01,367 -You can't do it. -It's too heavy, dude. 133 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,035 It's, like, 50 pounds. 134 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,748 -There's not a lot. -Let me see. 135 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,041 Like, four. 136 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,043 Oh, there's a decently big one right here. 137 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,837 Oh, he lost an arm. 138 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,588 Aw, put him back! Put him back! 139 00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,687 Don't. 140 00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:17,568 Did he take the money I gave you? 141 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,341 Hmm? 142 00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:24,551 No. 143 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:27,203 Come on, let's go to the car. 144 00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:54,123 Where's Jeremy? 145 00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,792 Where's Mom? Where's Jeremy? 146 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,401 There's Mom. 147 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:26,822 704, 705, 706, 148 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:31,618 707, 708, 709... 149 00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:35,497 710, 711, 712, 150 00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:39,835 713, 714, 715. 151 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,852 Come. Come now. 152 00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:22,461 Stop it. 153 00:23:22,485 --> 00:23:25,089 Do you want me to crash? 154 00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:51,323 ♪ My friend ♪ 155 00:23:51,347 --> 00:23:56,954 ♪ Don't just sit there and ruminate ♪ 156 00:23:56,978 --> 00:24:01,917 ♪ With your navel to contemplate ♪ 157 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:07,339 ♪ It's a beautiful day outside ♪ 158 00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:10,342 ♪ Time's passing you by ♪ 159 00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:24,314 Ah! 160 00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:26,924 Here, Let me try. 161 00:24:30,344 --> 00:24:31,697 Ah, damn. 162 00:24:31,721 --> 00:24:33,824 It didn't even land over there. 163 00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:40,164 Oh, that was so close. 164 00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:46,253 Yeah, sure. 165 00:24:46,277 --> 00:24:48,964 Just don't sell me the sausages. 166 00:24:56,913 --> 00:25:00,392 Dad, where's Mom? 167 00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:02,394 She's at her appointment. 168 00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:05,272 What kind of appointment? 169 00:25:14,138 --> 00:25:17,516 Dad, what kind of appointment? 170 00:25:19,810 --> 00:25:22,438 Come, draw something for me. 171 00:25:27,235 --> 00:25:30,422 Ta-da. 172 00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:32,591 Sit. 173 00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:35,594 Yay. 174 00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:37,846 Ooh. 175 00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:40,248 What's this do? 176 00:25:42,917 --> 00:25:44,895 Try. 177 00:25:44,919 --> 00:25:46,313 Wow. 178 00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:48,047 That's nice. 179 00:25:50,925 --> 00:25:53,820 Now, I need to... 180 00:25:53,844 --> 00:25:55,739 That one. 181 00:25:55,763 --> 00:25:57,616 It's going to be Miss Mousey. 182 00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,451 Yeah. 183 00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:01,787 I know. 184 00:26:01,811 --> 00:26:04,272 -Ooh, that's big. -That's one ear. 185 00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:08,835 Can move it back. 186 00:26:08,859 --> 00:26:13,173 Oh. Wait, wait, I'll do the bucket. 187 00:26:13,197 --> 00:26:15,259 Pull some way just a little. 188 00:26:15,283 --> 00:26:16,617 Oh, no! 189 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:25,227 Yeah, and then this, you have to do it, like, slowly. 190 00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:27,253 And can you take this? 191 00:26:33,301 --> 00:26:34,778 A boat. 192 00:26:34,802 --> 00:26:35,845 Yeah. 193 00:26:39,682 --> 00:26:40,933 There we go. 194 00:26:44,687 --> 00:26:48,166 Yeah, dude. 195 00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:51,128 Hey, mine has water. 196 00:26:51,152 --> 00:26:54,172 Hey, blue boat is still alive. 197 00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:56,049 And so are mine. 198 00:26:56,073 --> 00:26:58,135 Looking kind of rough, though. 199 00:26:58,159 --> 00:26:59,535 Yeah. 200 00:27:01,704 --> 00:27:02,723 Look at this. 201 00:27:02,747 --> 00:27:04,224 You want one? 202 00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:06,226 No. 203 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:08,312 You wish. 204 00:28:03,933 --> 00:28:07,454 Just try to find nice shapes. 205 00:28:07,478 --> 00:28:11,375 And focus on the arrangements, okay? 206 00:28:11,399 --> 00:28:12,983 Mm-hmm. 207 00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:19,383 Nice so far, nice. 208 00:28:19,407 --> 00:28:22,761 Lesson number one, never do that. 209 00:28:22,785 --> 00:28:24,412 Henry. 210 00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:29,893 Time, now. 211 00:28:39,468 --> 00:28:41,988 Who is that? 212 00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:43,782 Wow. Me. 213 00:28:43,806 --> 00:28:45,617 Time is going backwards. 214 00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:48,203 It's a time warp. 215 00:28:48,227 --> 00:28:49,454 Yeah. 216 00:28:49,478 --> 00:28:50,997 It's awesome. 217 00:28:51,021 --> 00:28:53,649 That's really cool. Wow. 218 00:29:06,537 --> 00:29:08,640 You spot instantly 219 00:29:08,664 --> 00:29:10,267 during this... 220 00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:14,896 Jeremy, can you put it in the fixer, please? 221 00:29:16,922 --> 00:29:19,359 -How did it go? -Hmm? 222 00:29:19,383 --> 00:29:21,361 How did it go? 223 00:29:21,385 --> 00:29:23,029 What do you mean? 224 00:29:23,053 --> 00:29:25,907 It was terrible, but what is this? 225 00:29:25,931 --> 00:29:28,452 What are you doing? 226 00:29:28,476 --> 00:29:30,787 You're not working. 227 00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:33,748 Where is... where are the children? 228 00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:36,275 I was showing them something in the darkroom. 229 00:29:48,621 --> 00:29:51,057 It seems like you don't really see 230 00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:54,478 that we are in a crisis somehow. 231 00:29:54,502 --> 00:29:56,855 So... 232 00:29:56,879 --> 00:30:00,692 Badly, I guess. 233 00:30:00,716 --> 00:30:04,279 Did they have any advice this time? 234 00:30:11,101 --> 00:30:15,314 You can listen to this whole thing. 235 00:30:17,942 --> 00:30:19,503 He let you record it? 236 00:30:20,903 --> 00:30:22,506 It's difficult. 237 00:30:22,530 --> 00:30:23,840 You're correct, yes. 238 00:30:23,864 --> 00:30:25,509 It's not clear entirely 239 00:30:25,533 --> 00:30:27,969 what's causing this disruptive behavior, 240 00:30:27,993 --> 00:30:30,180 even after meeting with him several times. 241 00:30:30,204 --> 00:30:33,600 Can you say what he was telling you or no? 242 00:30:33,624 --> 00:30:35,727 No, I can't tell you that. 243 00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:38,313 But I can tell you my professional opinion. 244 00:30:38,337 --> 00:30:40,106 You mean a diagnosis? 245 00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:41,525 I know that's 246 00:30:41,549 --> 00:30:43,109 what you're after, 247 00:30:43,133 --> 00:30:45,278 but a diagnosis is not always as helpful as you might think. 248 00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:46,905 You don't have one? 249 00:30:48,222 --> 00:30:50,116 While areas of weakness have been identified 250 00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:51,535 in his learning abilities, 251 00:30:51,559 --> 00:30:53,245 they do not alone seem sufficient enough 252 00:30:53,269 --> 00:30:55,914 to account for the level of social difficulty, 253 00:30:55,938 --> 00:30:57,582 the relationship issues, 254 00:30:57,606 --> 00:31:01,253 the adaptive-living issues you reported to me. 255 00:31:01,277 --> 00:31:03,213 As far as a diagnosis is concerned, 256 00:31:03,237 --> 00:31:05,131 I would really only feel confident 257 00:31:05,155 --> 00:31:07,300 in suggesting that Jeremy has signs 258 00:31:07,324 --> 00:31:10,345 of what we would call oppositional defiant disorder. 259 00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:12,347 What is this? 260 00:31:12,371 --> 00:31:14,373 It's what it sounds like... 261 00:31:23,173 --> 00:31:25,235 That somewhere along the line, 262 00:31:25,259 --> 00:31:27,612 he decided that he's the boss. 263 00:31:27,636 --> 00:31:30,782 And you just have to show him, and I mean really show him, 264 00:31:30,806 --> 00:31:32,325 that that's not the case. 265 00:31:32,349 --> 00:31:34,911 You are the boss. 266 00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:49,843 Sasha. You're too old for this now. 267 00:31:49,867 --> 00:31:51,720 And too big. 268 00:31:51,744 --> 00:31:54,264 Aw, but I can't sleep. 269 00:31:54,288 --> 00:31:56,975 Oh, you. 270 00:31:58,751 --> 00:32:00,562 I'll slide this off. 271 00:32:00,586 --> 00:32:02,272 It's so flavorful. 272 00:32:02,296 --> 00:32:04,399 Look at that, folks. That is... 273 00:32:04,423 --> 00:32:08,987 We are having now, um, a girls' night. 274 00:32:09,011 --> 00:32:11,406 -Well, am I kicked out? -Uh-huh. 275 00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:15,410 Sasha, Miss Mousey, and me, we're sleeping here. 276 00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:17,329 You can sleep in her bed. 277 00:32:17,353 --> 00:32:18,663 Ay, ay, ay. 278 00:32:18,687 --> 00:32:22,292 -Bye. -Good night. 279 00:32:22,316 --> 00:32:23,627 Night, night. 280 00:32:23,651 --> 00:32:25,670 I'm going to take the spit rod. 281 00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:27,380 And you forget about it. 282 00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:29,132 You just set it and then forget it. 283 00:32:29,156 --> 00:32:30,842 You just set it and forget it. 284 00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:32,844 Set it and forget about it. 285 00:32:32,868 --> 00:32:34,554 You set it and forget it. 286 00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:37,039 Set it and forget it. 287 00:33:21,542 --> 00:33:24,562 Oh, no. Can I run through it? 288 00:33:30,718 --> 00:33:33,321 Let's keep it going. It's going so fast. 289 00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:36,408 Guys, look how fast it's going! 290 00:33:41,437 --> 00:33:46,084 Wait, she's gonna pick it up and pop it this time. 291 00:33:46,108 --> 00:33:47,526 Emma! 292 00:33:49,445 --> 00:33:51,297 Drop it! Okay, okay, okay. 293 00:33:52,906 --> 00:33:56,845 Pick it up. 294 00:33:56,869 --> 00:33:58,513 Three, two... 295 00:34:23,145 --> 00:34:25,331 -Everyone try to get me. -Okay. 296 00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:27,542 Not yet, not yet! 297 00:34:27,566 --> 00:34:29,544 Now, now. 298 00:34:44,374 --> 00:34:46,352 Can you hold this for me? 299 00:35:12,861 --> 00:35:14,964 Ma'am, is this your son? 300 00:35:14,988 --> 00:35:17,467 He gave us this address. 301 00:35:17,491 --> 00:35:19,594 Yes. 302 00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:21,596 Your son was caught shoplifting. 303 00:35:21,620 --> 00:35:25,016 We apprehended him in the parking lot. 304 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:29,729 Okay. Can... you... can you take off these... these... 305 00:35:29,753 --> 00:35:31,839 He'll need to appear in court. 306 00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:06,266 Man, talk to me! 307 00:36:06,290 --> 00:36:08,059 What's happening? 308 00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:13,147 Are you out of your mind? 309 00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:14,649 Calm down. Stop it. 310 00:36:14,673 --> 00:36:17,068 Talk to me. Hey. Talk to me. 311 00:36:17,092 --> 00:36:19,094 Get away from me! 312 00:36:20,846 --> 00:36:25,076 -Get away from me! -Stop it. Calm down. 313 00:36:25,100 --> 00:36:27,704 Calm down. 314 00:36:27,728 --> 00:36:29,479 Calm. 315 00:36:57,507 --> 00:37:00,695 ♪ Said the straight man ♪ 316 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:04,699 ♪ To the late man ♪ 317 00:37:04,723 --> 00:37:10,121 ♪ Where have you been? ♪ 318 00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:15,293 ♪ I've been here, and I've been there ♪ 319 00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:22,324 ♪ And I've been in between ♪ 320 00:37:23,617 --> 00:37:27,537 ♪ I talk to the wind ♪ 321 00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:33,519 ♪ My words are all carried away ♪ 322 00:37:33,543 --> 00:37:36,147 -Can I try? -Yeah. 323 00:37:36,171 --> 00:37:39,549 ♪ I talk to the wind ♪ 324 00:37:41,551 --> 00:37:47,325 ♪ The wind does not hear ♪ 325 00:37:47,349 --> 00:37:52,205 ♪ The wind cannot hear ♪ 326 00:37:52,229 --> 00:37:57,442 ♪ I'm on the outside looking inside ♪ 327 00:38:04,741 --> 00:38:07,577 Whoa. Mm-hmm. 328 00:38:10,789 --> 00:38:12,207 Yeah. 329 00:38:16,003 --> 00:38:19,190 And... 330 00:38:19,214 --> 00:38:22,009 we are putting it here. 331 00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:27,573 -Like this? -Yeah. Like... 332 00:38:27,597 --> 00:38:29,391 Yes. 333 00:38:32,394 --> 00:38:35,790 Can Emma come over for dinner? 334 00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:38,793 Um... 335 00:38:38,817 --> 00:38:41,796 I don't know. I-I... 336 00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:45,216 I think it's not a good idea. 337 00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:49,595 So I'm really very, very happy that you are making friends, 338 00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:52,015 and you can go 339 00:38:52,039 --> 00:38:56,853 to their houses anytime. 340 00:38:56,877 --> 00:38:58,628 But, um... 341 00:39:00,422 --> 00:39:05,236 I-I don't want you to feel embarrassed... 342 00:39:05,260 --> 00:39:08,614 because what is happening here, you know? 343 00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:12,285 I'm not embarrassed. 344 00:39:12,309 --> 00:39:15,437 But you don't know what people are saying. 345 00:39:17,314 --> 00:39:21,836 So it... you know, it feels natural for you, 346 00:39:21,860 --> 00:39:24,047 but it shouldn't. 347 00:39:24,071 --> 00:39:25,631 What do you mean? 348 00:39:25,655 --> 00:39:27,925 If Jeremy is coming home by the police, 349 00:39:27,949 --> 00:39:30,428 then people are talking about it. 350 00:39:30,452 --> 00:39:31,870 You know? 351 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:46,444 You... Yes, I think it's... it's... it's better like this... 352 00:39:46,468 --> 00:39:48,654 believe me... 353 00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:51,473 to keep it separate, you know? 354 00:40:48,363 --> 00:40:49,781 Jeremy! 355 00:41:03,545 --> 00:41:06,173 Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. 356 00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:10,570 Devil got into you? 357 00:41:10,594 --> 00:41:12,387 Out of your mind? 358 00:41:19,769 --> 00:41:22,165 Hey, stop this now, okay? 359 00:41:22,189 --> 00:41:23,398 Come down. 360 00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:29,964 Jeremy, can you hear me? 361 00:41:29,988 --> 00:41:33,384 Please, get down, please. 362 00:41:33,408 --> 00:41:34,910 Jeremy. 363 00:41:36,912 --> 00:41:39,182 Jeremy... 364 00:41:39,206 --> 00:41:41,934 look at me. 365 00:41:41,958 --> 00:41:44,419 Look at me, please. 366 00:41:52,302 --> 00:41:53,803 Jeremy. 367 00:41:55,805 --> 00:41:57,432 Get down, please. 368 00:44:02,932 --> 00:44:06,412 Jeremy... 369 00:44:06,436 --> 00:44:08,563 what have you done? 370 00:44:50,688 --> 00:44:52,458 Oh, there she is. 371 00:44:52,482 --> 00:44:54,043 She's such a loser. 372 00:44:54,067 --> 00:44:56,962 I know. 373 00:44:56,986 --> 00:44:59,590 What a geek. 374 00:45:07,205 --> 00:45:10,768 Get lost! 375 00:45:10,792 --> 00:45:13,687 Words hurt. Don't be a part of it. 376 00:45:13,711 --> 00:45:15,689 The North American house hippo 377 00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:19,777 is found throughout Canada and Eastern United States. 378 00:45:19,801 --> 00:45:22,405 House hippos are very timid creatures, 379 00:45:22,429 --> 00:45:24,198 and they're rarely seen. 380 00:45:24,222 --> 00:45:27,201 But they would defend their territory if provoked. 381 00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:30,621 They come out at night to search for food, water, 382 00:45:30,645 --> 00:45:32,206 materials for their nests. 383 00:45:32,230 --> 00:45:34,625 The favorite foods of the house hippo 384 00:45:34,649 --> 00:45:36,210 are chips, raisins, 385 00:45:36,234 --> 00:45:38,879 and the crumbs from peanut butter on toast. 386 00:45:38,903 --> 00:45:41,424 They build their nests in bedroom closets, 387 00:45:41,448 --> 00:45:44,009 using lost mittens, dryer lint, 388 00:45:44,033 --> 00:45:45,636 and bits of string. 389 00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:48,222 The nests have to be very soft and warm. 390 00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:52,184 House hippos sleep about 16 hours a day. 391 00:45:52,208 --> 00:45:54,437 That looked really real. 392 00:45:54,461 --> 00:45:56,814 But you knew it couldn't be true, didn't you? 393 00:45:56,838 --> 00:45:58,732 That's why it's good to think 394 00:45:58,756 --> 00:46:00,443 about what you're watching on TV 395 00:46:00,467 --> 00:46:02,820 and ask questions, kind of like you just did. 396 00:46:02,844 --> 00:46:05,680 A message from Concerned Children's Advertisers. 397 00:46:08,057 --> 00:46:10,453 Hi. 398 00:46:10,477 --> 00:46:12,455 -Hello. -I'm from Social Services. 399 00:46:12,479 --> 00:46:14,373 We had scheduled a house visit. 400 00:46:14,397 --> 00:46:17,042 -Yes. -Thank you. 401 00:46:17,066 --> 00:46:20,004 This way, please. 402 00:46:20,028 --> 00:46:22,047 I wanted to come by 403 00:46:22,071 --> 00:46:25,259 and see how things are with Jeremy. 404 00:46:25,283 --> 00:46:27,845 Oh, we have moved so many times. 405 00:46:27,869 --> 00:46:30,055 And I always worry 406 00:46:30,079 --> 00:46:32,475 what the neighbors are thinking of us, 407 00:46:32,499 --> 00:46:34,852 that maybe we are bad parents. 408 00:46:34,876 --> 00:46:41,066 The thing is that now in the last couple of days, 409 00:46:41,090 --> 00:46:43,694 there were some, uh... 410 00:46:43,718 --> 00:46:48,073 some moments were not that easy 411 00:46:48,097 --> 00:46:51,243 with him again. 412 00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:39,566 She suggested... 413 00:47:45,947 --> 00:47:47,758 Um... 414 00:47:47,782 --> 00:47:52,453 to, um... 415 00:47:55,164 --> 00:47:58,585 She takes him away. 416 00:48:01,588 --> 00:48:05,150 And... 417 00:48:05,174 --> 00:48:08,153 and I... 418 00:48:08,177 --> 00:48:10,364 I said yes. 419 00:48:16,269 --> 00:48:19,164 I just... I said yes. 420 00:48:46,633 --> 00:48:49,403 It is like some big ping-pong. 421 00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:52,406 The doctor says to talk to the psychologist. 422 00:48:52,430 --> 00:48:55,993 The psychologist says, you need to call the police 423 00:48:56,017 --> 00:48:59,997 when he's acting like this, but the police do nothing. 424 00:49:00,021 --> 00:49:04,001 Mm-hmm. I know. 425 00:49:04,025 --> 00:49:09,006 I-I just can't get over this. 426 00:49:09,030 --> 00:49:12,217 Uh, I don't think anyone expects you to. 427 00:49:12,241 --> 00:49:15,220 It's a very complicated situation. 428 00:49:15,244 --> 00:49:19,433 And I think, you know, you know that. 429 00:49:19,457 --> 00:49:21,226 I just worry 430 00:49:21,250 --> 00:49:25,230 that if someone else had him... 431 00:49:25,254 --> 00:49:28,150 Maybe... you know, maybe it was me. 432 00:49:28,174 --> 00:49:31,654 It's my fault. 433 00:49:31,678 --> 00:49:36,641 That maybe with someone else, he could be a superstar. 434 00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:54,135 -How are you all? -How are your days? 435 00:50:58,139 --> 00:50:59,766 Nice to meet you. 436 00:51:01,559 --> 00:51:03,561 Nice to meet you. 437 00:51:22,371 --> 00:51:24,791 Thank you for meeting me. 438 00:51:31,964 --> 00:51:33,984 Hi. Nice to meet you. 439 00:51:34,008 --> 00:51:37,112 Nice to meet you. Hi. Come right in. 440 00:51:37,136 --> 00:51:39,615 Hi. Nice to meet you. 441 00:51:39,639 --> 00:51:41,033 Hi. 442 00:51:41,057 --> 00:51:43,368 Hi. Hi. 443 00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:45,186 Nice to meet you. 444 00:52:02,036 --> 00:52:04,598 Hi. 445 00:52:04,622 --> 00:52:06,099 -Hi. -Hello. 446 00:52:06,123 --> 00:52:07,810 How's everybody doing? 447 00:52:07,834 --> 00:52:09,520 Good. 448 00:52:09,544 --> 00:52:11,772 As you can tell, you're on camera. 449 00:52:11,796 --> 00:52:14,024 And I'm a filmmaker, 450 00:52:14,048 --> 00:52:16,610 here to present you with a case file. 451 00:52:16,634 --> 00:52:20,405 There is an eldest child who's presenting issues 452 00:52:20,429 --> 00:52:23,617 within the family, some risk-taking behaviors, 453 00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:26,411 and was assessed, treated, evaluated 454 00:52:26,435 --> 00:52:28,413 over the course of many years. 455 00:52:28,437 --> 00:52:31,208 The family sort of rightfully felt some frustrations 456 00:52:31,232 --> 00:52:34,044 in... in their availability to care. 457 00:52:34,068 --> 00:52:36,213 And so I would love to get a sense 458 00:52:36,237 --> 00:52:39,508 of how you see this case and assess it 459 00:52:39,532 --> 00:52:42,636 and see how those options are different now, 460 00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:45,246 how the case might be handled differently now. 461 00:52:48,875 --> 00:52:50,644 How old was the... 462 00:52:50,668 --> 00:52:53,230 how old was the child when he first started 463 00:52:53,254 --> 00:52:55,357 experiencing some of these things? 464 00:52:55,381 --> 00:52:58,235 Um, I would say there was an observation 465 00:52:58,259 --> 00:53:02,239 of, um, sort of behavioral concerns 466 00:53:02,263 --> 00:53:03,699 at, like, three or four. 467 00:53:03,723 --> 00:53:06,660 But 14, 15 years was really around the time 468 00:53:06,684 --> 00:53:08,287 -things started escalating. -Right. 469 00:53:08,311 --> 00:53:11,665 I have some information here about... 470 00:53:11,689 --> 00:53:14,459 that give some insight into his goals. 471 00:53:14,483 --> 00:53:16,670 Uh... 472 00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:18,672 I'll just read it to you here. 473 00:53:18,696 --> 00:53:21,466 He describes the best time of his life as, 474 00:53:21,490 --> 00:53:23,260 "can't think of one." 475 00:53:23,284 --> 00:53:25,470 {\an8}He says the best thing that could happen to him 476 00:53:25,494 --> 00:53:28,098 {\an8}would be to be rich and famous. 477 00:53:28,122 --> 00:53:30,475 {\an8}He feels the worst time of his life was, 478 00:53:30,499 --> 00:53:33,103 {\an8}"when I got caught stealing twice in a row." 479 00:53:33,127 --> 00:53:34,897 {\an8}He feels the worst thing that could happen to him 480 00:53:34,921 --> 00:53:39,526 {\an8}would be to, "be like a junkie, to have a life I don't like." 481 00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:41,278 He describes his three wishes as, 482 00:53:41,302 --> 00:53:45,115 "to have something to travel through time in the universe, 483 00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:48,726 to have lots of money, and be old enough to drive." 484 00:53:50,728 --> 00:53:52,915 There are suggestions of personality disorder. 485 00:53:52,939 --> 00:53:56,126 And then there's sort of a back-tracking of that. 486 00:53:56,150 --> 00:53:58,462 So... so... 487 00:53:58,486 --> 00:54:02,132 {\an8}there's a lot of confusion, I find, in the document itself 488 00:54:02,156 --> 00:54:05,510 {\an8}about how to assess his well-being, 489 00:54:05,534 --> 00:54:07,137 {\an8}his sense of himself, 490 00:54:07,161 --> 00:54:08,931 {\an8}his sense of himself when talking 491 00:54:08,955 --> 00:54:10,515 {\an8}to different professionals. 492 00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:15,145 {\an8}Um, but this is what we have of how he felt. 493 00:54:15,169 --> 00:54:19,733 {\an8}Uh, I'm curious how that changes anybody's perspective. 494 00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:23,528 {\an8}The report talks a lot about requiring considerable support. 495 00:54:23,552 --> 00:54:26,531 Um, and I know that this is, you know, 20 years ago. 496 00:54:26,555 --> 00:54:29,034 I wonder what sort of support was available 497 00:54:29,058 --> 00:54:30,661 for this young person. 498 00:54:30,685 --> 00:54:32,663 Now, I think us as social workers, we see that... 499 00:54:32,687 --> 00:54:34,915 fast-forward 20 years, there's still not a lot of support 500 00:54:34,939 --> 00:54:38,835 out there to help transition these folks from crises 501 00:54:38,859 --> 00:54:40,963 to stabilization 502 00:54:40,987 --> 00:54:45,425 and... and going down a path that's going to be, uh, 503 00:54:45,449 --> 00:54:47,678 helpful and... and goal-oriented. 504 00:54:47,702 --> 00:54:51,014 And so I can't imagine what it looked like 20 years ago. 505 00:54:51,038 --> 00:54:53,058 I mean, the piece that I read 506 00:54:53,082 --> 00:54:55,352 about around having a little bit of respite, 507 00:54:55,376 --> 00:54:56,770 I think, sounds important, 508 00:54:56,794 --> 00:54:59,648 provided that it's qualified with it not being punitive. 509 00:54:59,672 --> 00:55:01,733 I think that's really important. 510 00:55:01,757 --> 00:55:04,152 If this young man... he's the eldest, you're saying, 511 00:55:04,176 --> 00:55:05,988 just so I'm clear in terms of the family history? 512 00:55:06,012 --> 00:55:07,489 -Yes. -He's the eldest. 513 00:55:07,513 --> 00:55:08,991 And he is the result 514 00:55:09,015 --> 00:55:10,993 of the mother's relationship with another man. 515 00:55:11,017 --> 00:55:13,203 And the younger three children are the mother's relationship 516 00:55:13,227 --> 00:55:15,330 with a different biological father? 517 00:55:15,354 --> 00:55:16,957 Yes, that's correct. 518 00:55:16,981 --> 00:55:18,959 So as the eldest... 519 00:55:18,983 --> 00:55:20,711 And given what I'm hearing here, 520 00:55:20,735 --> 00:55:23,880 this whole family is in crisis. 521 00:55:23,904 --> 00:55:26,591 They're feeling, I'm sure, at their wits' end, 522 00:55:26,615 --> 00:55:29,219 um, and probably holding two things... 523 00:55:29,243 --> 00:55:32,597 wanting to get their son help 524 00:55:32,621 --> 00:55:34,933 and protect their other children. 525 00:55:34,957 --> 00:55:38,228 Right, so the suggestion would be to sort of, uh, 526 00:55:38,252 --> 00:55:42,232 ask the family to implement more of a structure 527 00:55:42,256 --> 00:55:44,401 to involve and provide. 528 00:55:44,425 --> 00:55:45,819 With support, you know? 529 00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:47,237 Yeah. 530 00:55:47,261 --> 00:55:49,239 Because they're not necessarily feeling good 531 00:55:49,263 --> 00:55:50,407 about him. 532 00:55:50,431 --> 00:55:52,659 So how does... how do we change that 533 00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:56,038 and using things he's interested in? 534 00:55:56,062 --> 00:55:57,456 Yeah. 535 00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,042 And so sometimes, voluntary placements 536 00:56:00,066 --> 00:56:01,626 can be a good intervention 537 00:56:01,650 --> 00:56:03,628 and then looking towards reunifying the family, 538 00:56:03,652 --> 00:56:07,132 and doing that work to help reunify the family. 539 00:56:07,156 --> 00:56:09,843 And sometimes it could, yeah, create these voids 540 00:56:09,867 --> 00:56:12,637 and vacuums and more problems, right? 541 00:56:12,661 --> 00:56:16,266 And often, um, it's hard to see 542 00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:18,060 what the outcome's gonna be. 543 00:56:18,084 --> 00:56:20,270 And the initial decision is just made on... 544 00:56:20,294 --> 00:56:23,774 is more made on, okay, the here and now, 545 00:56:23,798 --> 00:56:26,234 what's happening intersectionally, 546 00:56:26,258 --> 00:56:29,696 in terms of, like, risk and... and danger 547 00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:33,533 and best interest of the child, whatever that means. 548 00:56:33,557 --> 00:56:37,037 And so, um... so it's hard to predict. 549 00:56:37,061 --> 00:56:38,955 And I've seen it, in the instances 550 00:56:38,979 --> 00:56:41,666 that I have been involved with, 551 00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:44,795 go quite well and not go so well. 552 00:56:44,819 --> 00:56:47,881 It's just hard to say. 553 00:56:47,905 --> 00:56:49,299 Hmm. 554 00:57:29,864 --> 00:57:31,925 Simple, straight-up assurance 555 00:57:31,949 --> 00:57:33,343 is such a strong currency, 556 00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:35,137 just providing that reassurance 557 00:57:35,161 --> 00:57:37,722 to... to the parents that, okay, you're feeling 558 00:57:37,746 --> 00:57:40,642 a vortex of things right now, and it's okay. 559 00:57:40,666 --> 00:57:42,435 Similar to what we're training the parents 560 00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:43,728 to teach the child... 561 00:57:43,752 --> 00:57:45,689 it's okay that you're feeling those things 562 00:57:45,713 --> 00:57:47,149 without feeling these things. 563 00:57:47,173 --> 00:57:48,942 And this is why you're feeling them. 564 00:57:48,966 --> 00:57:50,944 And you have every right to feel these things. 565 00:57:50,968 --> 00:57:54,531 And I think even just that currency of reassurance 566 00:57:54,555 --> 00:57:59,494 can just maybe... just maybe help them take that breather 567 00:57:59,518 --> 00:58:04,749 and try again, try again tomorrow. 568 00:58:30,799 --> 00:58:33,802 She suggested... 569 00:58:37,598 --> 00:58:41,018 Um, to... 570 00:58:42,811 --> 00:58:45,207 Um... 571 00:59:17,846 --> 00:59:19,616 I'm getting married, Walter, 572 00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:21,451 and I'm also getting as far away 573 00:59:21,475 --> 00:59:24,037 from the newspaper business as I can get. 574 00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:25,121 What? 575 00:59:25,145 --> 00:59:26,623 I am through. 576 00:59:26,647 --> 00:59:28,250 You can get mad all you want to, Hildy, 577 00:59:28,274 --> 00:59:29,834 but you can't quit the newspaper business. 578 00:59:29,858 --> 00:59:31,461 -Oh, why not? -I know you. 579 00:59:31,485 --> 00:59:33,046 I know what quitting would mean to you. 580 00:59:33,070 --> 00:59:34,631 And what would it mean? 581 00:59:34,655 --> 00:59:36,049 It would kill you. 582 00:59:36,073 --> 00:59:37,509 You can't sell me that, Walter Burns. 583 00:59:37,533 --> 00:59:39,052 Who says I can't? You're a newspaperman. 584 00:59:39,076 --> 00:59:40,345 That's why I'm quitting. 585 00:59:40,369 --> 00:59:41,846 I want to go someplace where I can be a woman. 586 00:59:41,870 --> 00:59:43,265 You mean be a traitor. 587 00:59:43,289 --> 00:59:44,724 A traitor to what? 588 00:59:44,748 --> 00:59:46,268 A traitor to journalism. 589 00:59:46,292 --> 00:59:47,852 You're a journalist, Hildy. A journalist? 590 00:59:47,876 --> 00:59:49,354 Now, what does that mean? 591 00:59:49,378 --> 00:59:50,855 Peeking through keyholes? Chasing after fire engines? 592 00:59:50,879 --> 00:59:52,482 Waking people up in the middle of the night 593 00:59:52,506 --> 00:59:54,508 to ask them if Hitler's going to start another war? 594 01:00:29,335 --> 01:00:30,919 Hecky? 595 01:00:34,131 --> 01:00:35,549 Ready? 596 01:00:38,719 --> 01:00:40,137 Yeah. 597 01:00:51,148 --> 01:00:54,336 I've been working on, um, a project 598 01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:57,881 that looks back at my time with my family 599 01:00:57,905 --> 01:00:59,716 and that period of time in my life. 600 01:00:59,740 --> 01:01:02,135 And, um... 601 01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:05,597 I thought of you because you, in many ways, 602 01:01:05,621 --> 01:01:08,183 are the key to those memories. 603 01:01:08,207 --> 01:01:11,394 And I'm just so grateful to talk to you about it. 604 01:01:11,418 --> 01:01:15,565 It's funny because I remember these... 605 01:01:15,589 --> 01:01:18,151 more feelings, these moments of chaos. 606 01:01:18,175 --> 01:01:20,570 And then I remember moments that, you know, 607 01:01:20,594 --> 01:01:24,157 were not so disruptive, um... 608 01:01:24,181 --> 01:01:27,577 not so... not so dramatic. 609 01:01:27,601 --> 01:01:30,372 And I remember Jeremy being 610 01:01:30,396 --> 01:01:33,124 you know, as sweet as he was unpredictable. 611 01:01:33,148 --> 01:01:35,377 So it's very hard to... 612 01:01:35,401 --> 01:01:39,923 to square some of my memories sometimes of that time. 613 01:01:39,947 --> 01:01:42,050 You know, he... 614 01:01:42,074 --> 01:01:44,010 he certainly was struggling. 615 01:01:44,034 --> 01:01:46,513 And, you know, that was, I think, 616 01:01:46,537 --> 01:01:49,974 why your parents reached out for as much help as they did, 617 01:01:49,998 --> 01:01:52,394 because he just... he really... yeah, I don't... 618 01:01:52,418 --> 01:01:54,771 I just... you know, your mom, in particular, 619 01:01:54,795 --> 01:01:58,274 just didn't know what to do or where to get the help for him. 620 01:01:58,298 --> 01:01:59,984 -Yeah. -Such a... 621 01:02:00,008 --> 01:02:03,029 I really had a lot of respect for your parents 622 01:02:03,053 --> 01:02:04,989 and everything that they were trying to do 623 01:02:05,013 --> 01:02:06,408 to raise you and your brothers. 624 01:02:06,432 --> 01:02:07,659 Mm. 625 01:02:07,683 --> 01:02:09,077 In many families, 626 01:02:09,101 --> 01:02:10,745 they hit a breaking point, and it becomes unsafe 627 01:02:10,769 --> 01:02:12,622 not just for that person 628 01:02:12,646 --> 01:02:15,333 that is going to move into a home... a foster home, 629 01:02:15,357 --> 01:02:18,211 but it becomes unsafe for the other people in the home, 630 01:02:18,235 --> 01:02:19,796 and it's a very difficult decision. 631 01:02:19,820 --> 01:02:21,423 Yeah. 632 01:02:21,447 --> 01:02:23,633 He had some pretty unique behaviors, 633 01:02:23,657 --> 01:02:25,844 and they were really upsetting for your mom. 634 01:02:25,868 --> 01:02:28,430 She was always very worried about... 635 01:02:28,454 --> 01:02:30,223 you know, where that would lead, 636 01:02:30,247 --> 01:02:32,684 and disappointed in the services and support 637 01:02:32,708 --> 01:02:34,185 and answers that she got. 638 01:02:34,209 --> 01:02:36,187 She didn't get answers that really made sense 639 01:02:36,211 --> 01:02:38,440 -or that were supportive. -Yeah. 640 01:02:38,464 --> 01:02:40,442 He didn't have a lot of friends. 641 01:02:40,466 --> 01:02:42,402 And when he would come out of his room, 642 01:02:42,426 --> 01:02:44,821 he just had the ability 643 01:02:44,845 --> 01:02:47,449 to just take whatever was happening in the room 644 01:02:47,473 --> 01:02:50,368 and just upset it and spin it. 645 01:02:50,392 --> 01:02:52,203 And, you know, 646 01:02:52,227 --> 01:02:54,289 he demanded a lot of attention in that moment. 647 01:02:54,313 --> 01:02:55,582 And so I do remember 648 01:02:55,606 --> 01:02:57,834 that he would have gasoline in his room. 649 01:02:57,858 --> 01:02:59,586 He just would have it... not very much, 650 01:02:59,610 --> 01:03:01,254 but he would have some in his room. 651 01:03:01,278 --> 01:03:03,047 And I remember your mom being so scared, 652 01:03:03,071 --> 01:03:05,049 because he had made this threat that he was going 653 01:03:05,073 --> 01:03:07,552 to burn the house down with everybody in it. 654 01:03:07,576 --> 01:03:11,055 I can't even imagine, as your parents, being in the house, 655 01:03:11,079 --> 01:03:14,476 you know, knowing that that threat has been made 656 01:03:14,500 --> 01:03:17,479 and there are things in place 657 01:03:17,503 --> 01:03:20,297 that could make it happen in a split second. 658 01:03:22,049 --> 01:03:24,277 You know, that's something I always wondered, 659 01:03:24,301 --> 01:03:26,905 you know, is maybe why he didn't get a diagnosis. 660 01:03:26,929 --> 01:03:28,615 But we'll never know. 661 01:03:28,639 --> 01:03:30,992 We'll never know, you know, the truth, I don't think. 662 01:03:31,016 --> 01:03:33,703 It's really hard to sort of sort that through. 663 01:03:33,727 --> 01:03:35,622 Um... 664 01:03:35,646 --> 01:03:37,105 but he... 665 01:03:38,899 --> 01:03:42,086 The character that I saw, the person that I saw 666 01:03:42,110 --> 01:03:44,714 certainly demonstrated or looked like someone 667 01:03:44,738 --> 01:03:46,466 who was really suffering, 668 01:03:46,490 --> 01:03:49,844 who was really struggling, who was really... 669 01:03:49,868 --> 01:03:53,306 alone and isolated and... 670 01:03:53,330 --> 01:03:56,768 invested in... 671 01:03:56,792 --> 01:03:59,312 yeah, invested in the chaos, 672 01:03:59,336 --> 01:04:03,233 really invested in the chaos. 673 01:04:03,257 --> 01:04:05,735 I hope someday to be able to, you know, be 674 01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:07,904 in the presence of your parents again. 675 01:04:07,928 --> 01:04:09,989 They're both very strong people. 676 01:04:10,013 --> 01:04:11,783 They're very resilient, you know? 677 01:04:11,807 --> 01:04:14,285 And I have a lot of respect for them, for sure. 678 01:04:14,309 --> 01:04:18,105 So I hope someday that I cross paths with them, too. 679 01:08:20,430 --> 01:08:22,474 -Hello. -Hi. 680 01:08:25,393 --> 01:08:27,121 Uh... 681 01:08:27,145 --> 01:08:28,831 You're from social services, yes? 682 01:08:28,855 --> 01:08:32,192 -Yes, sorry, that's right. -It's nice to meet you. 683 01:08:36,196 --> 01:08:38,031 This way, please. 684 01:08:41,159 --> 01:08:43,346 Do you mind if I look around first? 685 01:08:43,370 --> 01:08:44,788 Yeah, that's fine. 686 01:09:04,432 --> 01:09:05,827 Miss Mousey. 687 01:09:05,851 --> 01:09:07,060 Mm. 688 01:09:15,235 --> 01:09:19,131 First we will hear a waltz written by Johann Strauss. 689 01:09:20,615 --> 01:09:23,594 And as we hear the "whythmic stwains" 690 01:09:23,618 --> 01:09:25,471 of the haunting "wefwain," 691 01:09:25,495 --> 01:09:28,432 "wisten" to the whistling "whythm" of the woodwinds 692 01:09:28,456 --> 01:09:31,853 as it "wolls a wound and a wound" 693 01:09:31,877 --> 01:09:33,813 and comes out here. 694 01:11:07,555 --> 01:11:10,326 ♪ Come on out ♪ 695 01:11:10,350 --> 01:11:14,980 ♪ Don't just sit there catatonic ♪ 696 01:11:16,564 --> 01:11:20,360 ♪ I'm feeling supersonic ♪ 697 01:11:21,987 --> 01:11:26,342 ♪ The warm wind is sweeping by ♪ 698 01:11:26,366 --> 01:11:29,345 ♪ The sun's full in the sky ♪ 699 01:11:29,369 --> 01:11:34,058 ♪ And there's no way of knowing ♪ 700 01:11:34,082 --> 01:11:36,960 ♪ No way to know ♪ 701 01:11:53,018 --> 01:11:55,579 Can I turn this light on? 702 01:11:55,603 --> 01:11:57,748 Yes, it's okay now. 703 01:12:26,843 --> 01:12:29,488 Hi. Hi. 704 01:12:29,512 --> 01:12:31,073 It's nice to meet you. 705 01:12:31,097 --> 01:12:33,826 -Nice to meet you, too. -Please, have a seat. 706 01:12:33,850 --> 01:12:35,435 Thank you. 707 01:12:42,859 --> 01:12:44,420 Hi. 708 01:12:44,444 --> 01:12:46,630 Hi, hello. 709 01:12:46,654 --> 01:12:48,632 Um... 710 01:12:48,656 --> 01:12:51,135 how are you both doing? 711 01:12:51,159 --> 01:12:52,636 Yeah... 712 01:12:52,660 --> 01:12:54,388 we are fine, thanks. 713 01:12:54,412 --> 01:12:56,539 How are things with Jeremy? 714 01:12:59,292 --> 01:13:01,854 You can talk, too, you know? 715 01:13:01,878 --> 01:13:03,314 Yes, I will. 716 01:13:03,338 --> 01:13:06,275 But, please, you start. 717 01:13:06,299 --> 01:13:07,675 Um... 718 01:13:12,097 --> 01:13:15,659 It feels like... 719 01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:17,894 somehow, I'm cursed. 720 01:13:20,688 --> 01:13:22,458 He's... 721 01:13:22,482 --> 01:13:24,251 so troubled. 722 01:13:24,275 --> 01:13:27,671 We tried everything... 723 01:13:27,695 --> 01:13:30,091 Mm, therapy... 724 01:13:30,115 --> 01:13:33,677 special school, homeschooling. 725 01:13:33,701 --> 01:13:36,496 It didn't work. 726 01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:40,893 He doesn't want to listen to anybody. 727 01:13:40,917 --> 01:13:43,896 Not us, not any adult 728 01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:46,339 could ever control him. 729 01:13:50,885 --> 01:13:53,114 Mm... 730 01:13:53,138 --> 01:13:56,117 he was six years old 731 01:13:56,141 --> 01:14:00,329 when one day something happened with his eyes. 732 01:14:00,353 --> 01:14:03,499 You can tell this, no? 733 01:14:03,523 --> 01:14:06,710 We were playing catch with a ball, 734 01:14:06,734 --> 01:14:09,713 just back and forth and... 735 01:14:09,737 --> 01:14:13,134 When, suddenly, he could not catch it anymore. 736 01:14:13,158 --> 01:14:15,928 I would throw it for him, and... 737 01:14:15,952 --> 01:14:20,516 his hands would cross the air in front of him. 738 01:14:20,540 --> 01:14:24,770 But he just could not see the ball anymore. 739 01:14:24,794 --> 01:14:28,149 It was something very strange, 740 01:14:28,173 --> 01:14:32,177 but his eyes just suddenly went crossed. 741 01:14:34,095 --> 01:14:36,824 It was very bizarre, and... 742 01:14:36,848 --> 01:14:38,951 and I think it scared him. 743 01:14:38,975 --> 01:14:41,895 -It scared us, too, of course. -Yeah. 744 01:14:44,564 --> 01:14:48,377 So I don't know. 745 01:14:48,401 --> 01:14:52,756 This is one of the unlucky things that comes to my mind. 746 01:14:52,780 --> 01:14:55,759 Mm, he had to get these big glasses 747 01:14:55,783 --> 01:14:58,762 with such a very young age. 748 01:14:58,786 --> 01:15:00,556 And I think because of this 749 01:15:00,580 --> 01:15:05,394 and from his accent at the beginning... 750 01:15:05,418 --> 01:15:09,773 mm, the kids at the school were not nice to him. 751 01:15:09,797 --> 01:15:11,692 You mean he was picked on? 752 01:15:11,716 --> 01:15:14,195 Yes. 753 01:15:14,219 --> 01:15:18,991 Did he talk to either of you about this? 754 01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:21,601 Mm, he... 755 01:15:23,811 --> 01:15:25,789 He doesn't care 756 01:15:25,813 --> 01:15:30,669 about what others saying about him. 757 01:15:30,693 --> 01:15:33,422 He never cared about... 758 01:15:33,446 --> 01:15:36,050 making friends. 759 01:15:36,074 --> 01:15:37,801 He just... 760 01:15:37,825 --> 01:15:41,597 he likes to be the clown... 761 01:15:41,621 --> 01:15:44,016 to everyone. 762 01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:47,019 He was always like this. 763 01:15:47,043 --> 01:15:49,462 And how is he with his siblings? 764 01:15:52,257 --> 01:15:57,029 Mm, sometimes he's really nasty with them, 765 01:15:57,053 --> 01:16:00,473 but sometimes he's... he's very sweet. 766 01:16:03,059 --> 01:16:04,644 Mm. 767 01:16:09,065 --> 01:16:11,484 Why do you think he's like this? 768 01:16:26,291 --> 01:16:29,853 He's uncontrollable, completely. 769 01:16:29,877 --> 01:16:34,066 He's doing really big and risky things. 770 01:16:34,090 --> 01:16:37,653 And he can hurt himself or... 771 01:16:37,677 --> 01:16:39,446 others. 772 01:16:39,470 --> 01:16:43,575 And he doesn't care if he's getting caught. 773 01:16:43,599 --> 01:16:46,287 So one day, 774 01:16:46,311 --> 01:16:50,040 he stole a bicycle from a yard. 775 01:16:50,064 --> 01:16:52,876 And he came home totally beaten up, 776 01:16:52,900 --> 01:16:55,671 and his face was blue. 777 01:16:55,695 --> 01:16:57,548 I don't know what he was thinking. 778 01:16:57,572 --> 01:17:02,303 And he told me it was just for fun. 779 01:17:02,327 --> 01:17:05,055 I don't know what... 780 01:17:05,079 --> 01:17:07,123 What is he thinking? 781 01:17:08,916 --> 01:17:10,894 And... 782 01:17:10,918 --> 01:17:13,397 and he's stealing from us. 783 01:17:13,421 --> 01:17:17,318 We can't keep any money where he can find it. 784 01:17:17,342 --> 01:17:19,695 He takes whatever he sees. 785 01:17:19,719 --> 01:17:22,156 Sometimes he's taking things from the house 786 01:17:22,180 --> 01:17:25,534 and brings them to the pawn shop just to get a few dollars. 787 01:17:25,558 --> 01:17:27,911 He would even steal from his siblings. 788 01:17:27,935 --> 01:17:30,706 Yeah, he thinks that he's... 789 01:17:30,730 --> 01:17:33,584 some kind of gangster guy. 790 01:17:33,608 --> 01:17:37,921 He tried to sell fake drugs to some boys on the street 791 01:17:37,945 --> 01:17:40,365 at 14 years old. 792 01:17:42,367 --> 01:17:44,553 I... 793 01:17:44,577 --> 01:17:46,930 So we can't... 794 01:17:46,954 --> 01:17:51,143 we can't tell him anything. 795 01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:53,562 He doesn't listen to us. 796 01:17:53,586 --> 01:17:56,756 Grounding, rules... nothing. 797 01:18:00,385 --> 01:18:02,613 Is it true that he once threatened 798 01:18:02,637 --> 01:18:04,389 to burn the house down? 799 01:18:08,810 --> 01:18:11,580 Yeah, I know he hates me. 800 01:18:11,604 --> 01:18:13,165 What should we do now? 801 01:18:13,189 --> 01:18:15,167 That's what we need to know, yeah? 802 01:18:15,191 --> 01:18:17,378 What are we supposed to do? 803 01:18:17,402 --> 01:18:19,671 From what I understand, 804 01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:22,257 the best option would be something 805 01:18:22,281 --> 01:18:24,409 called voluntary placement. 806 01:18:36,212 --> 01:18:40,633 Voluntary placement, what does it mean, exactly? 807 01:18:42,218 --> 01:18:43,987 It means he would be placed 808 01:18:44,011 --> 01:18:46,264 with a foster family, essentially. 809 01:18:50,601 --> 01:18:52,204 Uh, I'm sorry. 810 01:18:52,228 --> 01:18:57,000 T-this is a very hard thing for us to hear. 811 01:18:57,024 --> 01:19:00,421 I-I'm sure you understand, we are trying so hard 812 01:19:00,445 --> 01:19:03,215 for... for so many years with Jeremy. 813 01:19:24,677 --> 01:19:26,679 {\an8}I need some water. 814 01:19:28,473 --> 01:19:30,826 I'm sorry. 815 01:19:30,850 --> 01:19:33,060 I didn't mean to upset her. 816 01:19:37,064 --> 01:19:39,668 It's okay. Uh... 817 01:19:39,692 --> 01:19:43,696 We're just both so exhausted from all of this. 818 01:19:45,323 --> 01:19:48,284 And we feel like there is no good options left. 819 01:19:56,876 --> 01:19:59,688 Have you ever heard... 820 01:19:59,712 --> 01:20:02,089 about a family like this? 821 01:20:04,759 --> 01:20:06,278 How come... 822 01:20:06,302 --> 01:20:10,365 Nobody has to give their children away? 823 01:20:10,389 --> 01:20:13,285 Just alcohol addicts 824 01:20:13,309 --> 01:20:17,289 or people are beating their children. 825 01:20:17,313 --> 01:20:21,502 I don't understand why. 826 01:20:21,526 --> 01:20:23,903 I wish I had a better answer. 827 01:20:32,578 --> 01:20:36,517 What if we try this, just for a little while? 828 01:20:36,541 --> 01:20:41,104 Maybe if he goes away, he can do better. 829 01:20:41,128 --> 01:20:42,964 And then he comes home. 830 01:20:46,926 --> 01:20:49,554 Could we see him still? 831 01:21:07,947 --> 01:21:09,949 You will see him again. 832 01:21:11,951 --> 01:21:16,789 {\an8}You will try many, many times to keep him at home. 833 01:21:19,250 --> 01:21:22,938 {\an8}You will do everything in your power to help him. 834 01:21:22,962 --> 01:21:25,548 {\an8}It will consume you entirely. 835 01:21:29,176 --> 01:21:31,154 {\an8}You won't give up. 836 01:21:31,178 --> 01:21:35,576 {\an8}But you will get tired as the years go on and on. 837 01:21:38,144 --> 01:21:40,581 {\an8}He will go to foster care, 838 01:21:40,605 --> 01:21:43,608 {\an8}but it will be a temporary solution. 839 01:21:46,444 --> 01:21:50,757 {\an8}You will doubt yourself as a parent... 840 01:21:50,781 --> 01:21:52,617 {\an8}and, at times, your life. 841 01:21:54,827 --> 01:21:57,997 {\an8}You will begin to close yourself from the world. 842 01:22:02,627 --> 01:22:04,629 {\an8}No one will understand. 843 01:22:06,422 --> 01:22:08,424 {\an8}And it will only worsen. 844 01:22:11,510 --> 01:22:13,989 {\an8}He, himself, will have no explanation... 845 01:22:14,013 --> 01:22:17,433 {\an8}Other than he cannot manage. 846 01:22:21,103 --> 01:22:24,565 {\an8}You will beg for change and solutions. 847 01:22:27,610 --> 01:22:30,422 {\an8}He will grow into an adult... 848 01:22:30,446 --> 01:22:33,240 {\an8}And the help he needs, he will not get. 849 01:22:37,244 --> 01:22:40,015 {\an8}It won't get better. 850 01:22:40,039 --> 01:22:41,642 {\an8}Countless professionals 851 01:22:41,666 --> 01:22:44,001 {\an8}will come in and out of your life. 852 01:22:47,046 --> 01:22:50,049 {\an8}But it won't change. 853 01:22:51,884 --> 01:22:55,656 {\an8}Despite what you know of him and yourself... 854 01:22:55,680 --> 01:22:57,473 {\an8}you will lose him. 855 01:23:13,280 --> 01:23:15,258 This does not have to be 856 01:23:15,282 --> 01:23:16,802 a permanent solution. 857 01:23:16,826 --> 01:23:19,680 It could also be a temporary one as well. 858 01:23:19,704 --> 01:23:22,891 To... to send him... 859 01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:26,502 to a-a totally stranger family... 860 01:23:28,504 --> 01:23:30,506 Do you think that... 861 01:25:01,138 --> 01:25:04,159 Did you have a friend named Elijah? 862 01:25:04,183 --> 01:25:06,018 Mm-hmm. 863 01:25:07,770 --> 01:25:10,373 How come I don't remember that? 864 01:25:10,397 --> 01:25:12,817 I think there's a lot you don't remember. 865 01:25:21,534 --> 01:25:24,387 "Dear Sasha... 866 01:25:24,411 --> 01:25:26,831 I grew up with your brother Jeremy." 867 01:25:29,416 --> 01:25:31,186 "We were never really close, 868 01:25:31,210 --> 01:25:33,814 "but he was one of the most memorable of my friends 869 01:25:33,838 --> 01:25:35,047 from school." 870 01:25:36,841 --> 01:25:39,194 "In grade ten, we were suspended together 871 01:25:39,218 --> 01:25:42,155 "for stealing from lockers. 872 01:25:42,179 --> 01:25:44,407 "That's a long story, but... 873 01:25:44,431 --> 01:25:46,433 Jeremy wasn't really involved." 874 01:25:48,936 --> 01:25:51,915 "Even though I took the blame, Jeremy still got in trouble. 875 01:25:51,939 --> 01:25:54,066 And I felt pretty bad about that." 876 01:25:55,818 --> 01:25:58,129 "He invited me over to hang out one time, 877 01:25:58,153 --> 01:26:02,759 "and he showed me his maps of towns and cities. 878 01:26:02,783 --> 01:26:05,870 They remain some of the most unique art I've seen." 879 01:26:08,330 --> 01:26:09,850 "I would sometimes see him out 880 01:26:09,874 --> 01:26:12,251 with people who were not very good influences." 881 01:26:14,086 --> 01:26:16,463 "I was really unsure how to help." 882 01:26:19,675 --> 01:26:22,177 "I began seeing less and less of him." 883 01:26:24,263 --> 01:26:26,783 "After high school, I didn't see much of him, 884 01:26:26,807 --> 01:26:29,101 but I would think of him often." 885 01:26:30,936 --> 01:26:33,248 "Recently, I tried to look him up on Facebook 886 01:26:33,272 --> 01:26:35,482 but couldn't find anything." 887 01:26:37,401 --> 01:26:40,255 "But I came across you... 888 01:26:40,279 --> 01:26:42,489 and your films." 889 01:26:45,492 --> 01:26:48,120 "That's where I learned about his passing." 890 01:26:52,708 --> 01:26:55,502 "I am so very sorry for your loss." 891 01:26:58,005 --> 01:27:00,150 "I saw in your film what you said 892 01:27:00,174 --> 01:27:02,694 "about being angry at Jeremy... 893 01:27:02,718 --> 01:27:04,929 and your regrets about that now." 894 01:27:08,057 --> 01:27:10,702 "I also have a brother who I've been angry with 895 01:27:10,726 --> 01:27:12,519 for most of my life." 896 01:27:14,396 --> 01:27:18,001 "I just wanted to share my memories of your brother 897 01:27:18,025 --> 01:27:21,922 "and that I always knew him as a special soul 898 01:27:21,946 --> 01:27:23,948 who had a kind heart." 899 01:28:37,813 --> 01:28:40,024 ♪ Your picture ♪ 900 01:28:42,234 --> 01:28:44,611 ♪ Is still ♪ 901 01:28:46,697 --> 01:28:49,033 ♪ On my wall ♪ 902 01:28:50,826 --> 01:28:53,245 ♪ On my wall ♪ 903 01:28:55,706 --> 01:28:58,042 {\an8}♪ The colors ♪ 904 01:29:00,044 --> 01:29:02,230 {\an8}♪ Are bright ♪ 905 01:29:05,090 --> 01:29:06,842 {\an8}♪ Bright ♪ 906 01:29:08,844 --> 01:29:10,846 {\an8}♪ As ever ♪ 907 01:29:13,265 --> 01:29:17,328 {\an8}♪ The red is strong ♪ 908 01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:22,000 {\an8}♪ The blue is pure ♪ 909 01:29:22,024 --> 01:29:25,837 {\an8}♪ Some things last ♪ 910 01:29:25,861 --> 01:29:28,256 {\an8}♪ A long time ♪ 911 01:29:31,366 --> 01:29:35,055 {\an8}♪ Some things last ♪ 912 01:29:35,079 --> 01:29:37,432 {\an8}♪ A long time ♪ 913 01:29:48,634 --> 01:29:50,886 {\an8}♪ Your picture ♪ 914 01:29:52,888 --> 01:29:55,390 {\an8}♪ Is still ♪ 915 01:29:57,476 --> 01:30:00,395 {\an8}♪ On my wall ♪ 916 01:30:02,106 --> 01:30:04,316 {\an8}♪ On my wall ♪ 917 01:30:06,693 --> 01:30:10,340 {\an8}♪ I think ♪ 918 01:30:10,364 --> 01:30:13,301 {\an8}♪ About you ♪ 919 01:30:16,120 --> 01:30:18,122 {\an8}♪ Often ♪ 920 01:30:20,332 --> 01:30:22,501 {\an8}♪ Often ♪ 921 01:30:24,962 --> 01:30:29,359 {\an8}♪ I won't forget ♪ 922 01:30:29,383 --> 01:30:33,696 {\an8}♪ All the things we did ♪ 923 01:30:33,720 --> 01:30:37,117 {\an8}♪ Some things last ♪ 924 01:30:37,141 --> 01:30:39,702 {\an8}♪ A long time ♪ 925 01:30:42,521 --> 01:30:46,334 {\an8}♪ Some things last ♪ 926 01:30:46,358 --> 01:30:49,379 {\an8}♪ A long time ♪