1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:01,609 --> 00:00:04,577 Therefore, Kally Gluntle spent life 2 00:00:04,979 --> 00:00:07,246 wondering if she was invisible. 3 00:00:07,248 --> 00:00:10,249 After searching for a diet that would earn her the love 4 00:00:10,251 --> 00:00:12,751 she deserved, Kally discovered eating 5 00:00:12,753 --> 00:00:17,423 celery burns more calories than it contains. 6 00:00:17,425 --> 00:00:21,427 Once she disappeared completely, she finally felt seen. 7 00:00:21,429 --> 00:00:25,330 After achieving every girl's dream of negative weight, 8 00:00:25,332 --> 00:00:27,966 no one could take their eyes off her. 9 00:00:27,968 --> 00:00:31,303 She turned every head. The camera loved her, 10 00:00:31,305 --> 00:00:35,740 but one day, she looked up and found herself full of pity 11 00:00:35,742 --> 00:00:37,976 for the clunky losers of the world 12 00:00:37,978 --> 00:00:40,178 now that she had all of the attention. 13 00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:44,648 She danced like no one was watching. It was. 14 00:00:44,650 --> 00:00:46,817 She wondered where her shyness went, 15 00:00:46,819 --> 00:00:48,087 but it didn't matter 16 00:00:48,088 --> 00:00:50,721 because she was happy and forever free. 17 00:01:00,003 --> 00:01:03,504 But no matter how hard they try, some women are too weak 18 00:01:03,506 --> 00:01:05,573 to ignore the suffering of others. 19 00:01:05,575 --> 00:01:07,241 Here. It's only half a sandwich. 20 00:01:07,243 --> 00:01:10,411 Thanks, ma'am, but I'm not a charity case. 21 00:01:10,413 --> 00:01:13,948 - It says, "Work for food." - Really, it's fine. 22 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:16,516 I'd rather starve than be degraded. 23 00:01:16,518 --> 00:01:19,353 Okay. What can you do for me? 24 00:01:19,355 --> 00:01:20,787 Well, I used to be a nurse. 25 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,623 I was a hospice nurse. I could do that. 26 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:24,925 It'll only take a sec. 27 00:01:24,926 --> 00:01:27,194 Lay down. Here we go. 28 00:01:27,196 --> 00:01:30,530 Slip away. Let go. 29 00:01:30,532 --> 00:01:33,233 You don't have to hold on. 30 00:01:33,235 --> 00:01:34,734 Slip into glory. 31 00:01:34,736 --> 00:01:36,803 I can't... I'm not going to just die. 32 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:39,072 Oh, because I can't earn my own meals?! 33 00:01:39,074 --> 00:01:41,141 I have never been so insulted! 34 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,909 No. Oh, no, no. I didn't mean t... 35 00:01:42,911 --> 00:01:47,846 - Okay. I can try. - Don't be afraid. 36 00:01:47,848 --> 00:01:49,748 Just surrender. 37 00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:51,583 You are loved. 38 00:01:51,585 --> 00:01:53,252 Go towards the light. 39 00:01:53,254 --> 00:01:56,588 The light is love. 40 00:01:56,590 --> 00:01:59,493 Go to it. Beautiful! 41 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,060 You are at peace now. 42 00:02:01,062 --> 00:02:03,929 Hello? Where am I? What's happening? 43 00:02:03,931 --> 00:02:06,132 I can finally dig into this Sammy! 44 00:02:06,134 --> 00:02:08,401 Mmm, pretty nummy! 45 00:02:08,403 --> 00:02:11,737 Wait! Ugh! Is there mayo in this Sam-sam? 46 00:02:11,739 --> 00:02:13,239 Yeah. It was a ham and mayonnaise. 47 00:02:13,241 --> 00:02:15,141 Dang! Why didn't you tell me? 48 00:02:15,143 --> 00:02:17,476 - I hate mayo! - You didn't specify! 49 00:02:17,478 --> 00:02:18,745 Can't you just scrape it off? 50 00:02:18,746 --> 00:02:23,782 Like, actual ew! I would know it used to be there. 51 00:02:23,784 --> 00:02:26,118 Can you help me get out of here? 52 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,818 Oh... oh, yeah. O... of course. 53 00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:32,357 Sorry. Move forth, gentle. Make your first left. 54 00:02:32,359 --> 00:02:35,127 You'll see a door. Go right through there. 55 00:02:35,128 --> 00:02:37,795 Oh! I think this is hell! Oh! 56 00:02:37,797 --> 00:02:40,665 Oh, I'm sorry. Is that not what you wanted? 57 00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:43,734 - No! - Oh, well "you didn't specify." 58 00:02:43,736 --> 00:02:46,804 Oh, it burns! My skin is burning! 59 00:02:46,806 --> 00:02:49,040 "Can't you just scrape it off?" 60 00:02:49,042 --> 00:02:51,309 Please let me go. I have a kid! 61 00:02:51,311 --> 00:02:55,046 I shall allow you to remain on Earth 62 00:02:55,048 --> 00:02:58,315 if you can complete a simple task. 63 00:02:58,317 --> 00:03:03,788 You must do one selfless act. 64 00:03:05,091 --> 00:03:08,258 Okay. You had the tuna salad with the crust cut off, 65 00:03:08,260 --> 00:03:10,194 and who ordered the vegan gyro? 66 00:03:10,196 --> 00:03:11,829 Gyro? Gyro? Gyro. 67 00:03:11,831 --> 00:03:13,164 Who ordered the vegan gyro? 68 00:03:13,165 --> 00:03:16,300 Giving food to the poor is not selfless. 69 00:03:16,302 --> 00:03:20,405 You did it to save yourself. Fail. 70 00:03:20,406 --> 00:03:22,272 I can give away my car, everything. 71 00:03:22,274 --> 00:03:25,509 I feel like you're not appreciating the elegance 72 00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:28,378 of my selfless act paradox. 73 00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:30,981 This is your home now. 74 00:03:30,983 --> 00:03:33,818 I know what to do. One more chance. 75 00:03:33,819 --> 00:03:36,320 Amy Liblin rushed home with relish. 76 00:03:36,322 --> 00:03:38,855 Um, excuse me. What are you doing? 77 00:03:38,857 --> 00:03:41,691 This is, like, over the line, okay? 78 00:03:41,693 --> 00:03:43,327 I'm just doing what you requested. 79 00:03:43,329 --> 00:03:46,763 I'm not really following your logic. 80 00:03:46,765 --> 00:03:49,699 I'll explain... right after my lunch. 81 00:03:49,701 --> 00:03:51,235 Ah? 82 00:03:51,237 --> 00:03:54,605 Ah! Ah! 83 00:03:54,607 --> 00:03:56,373 Okay. As long as you're seriously 84 00:03:56,375 --> 00:03:58,708 planning to eat your own baby, 85 00:03:58,710 --> 00:04:03,713 I want nothing to do with this. Like, actual ew! 86 00:04:03,715 --> 00:04:07,083 Amy couldn't bear to make her child grow up without a mother, 87 00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:10,053 but if she lingered on the brink of gobbling her little dumpling, 88 00:04:10,055 --> 00:04:13,823 mommy could always be there for baby's first steps, 89 00:04:13,825 --> 00:04:16,043 her first swim, 90 00:04:16,044 --> 00:04:19,004 first bite of solid food if mama kept her 91 00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:21,965 mouth watering and her stomach growling. 92 00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:26,269 Lady, leave me out of this. 93 00:04:27,405 --> 00:04:29,205 Uncle! Uncle! 94 00:04:29,207 --> 00:04:32,142 But our secrets consume us. 95 00:04:32,144 --> 00:04:34,410 I know it sounds crazy, but since I was a kid, 96 00:04:34,412 --> 00:04:37,547 I couldn't shake the feeling that my mom wants to eat me. 97 00:04:37,549 --> 00:04:39,983 And did you ever consider the possibility 98 00:04:39,985 --> 00:04:42,718 that she did that so that she could stay in your life? 99 00:04:44,121 --> 00:04:46,555 Did you really want to be there for me, mom, 100 00:04:46,557 --> 00:04:49,758 or were you just trying to stay out of hell? 101 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,695 The perk of Dr. Bodgey's job was front-row seats 102 00:04:52,697 --> 00:04:56,498 to the ding-dong show like his patient this morning. 103 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:57,767 I don't know, Doc. 104 00:04:57,768 --> 00:04:59,868 People tell me I should be paranoid, 105 00:04:59,870 --> 00:05:01,904 but I got nothing to be afraid of. 106 00:05:01,906 --> 00:05:04,372 Do you think it's because of those? 107 00:05:04,374 --> 00:05:06,541 Those what? What's the problem? 108 00:05:06,543 --> 00:05:11,947 Can you see how your refusal to be terrified is infuriating to me? 109 00:05:11,949 --> 00:05:15,584 Why is everyone conspiring to make me paranoid? 110 00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:16,886 I'm not falling for it. 111 00:05:16,887 --> 00:05:19,053 I'm going to be happy and devout my life 112 00:05:19,055 --> 00:05:23,550 - to actually helping people! - Nooo! 113 00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:26,294 Denial makes your life a wreck. 114 00:05:26,296 --> 00:05:28,496 This thing is going to blow any second! 115 00:05:30,834 --> 00:05:34,069 If you could grab hold of my arm, I'll try and pull you out. 116 00:05:34,070 --> 00:05:35,470 Uh, excuse me? 117 00:05:35,472 --> 00:05:37,839 If I hold this up, I can get you out 118 00:05:37,841 --> 00:05:39,608 through this hole here. 119 00:05:39,610 --> 00:05:42,944 Yeah, can you not mansplain to me right now? 120 00:05:42,946 --> 00:05:45,780 I know how a rescue works. 121 00:05:45,782 --> 00:05:47,616 I just... I jus... 122 00:05:47,618 --> 00:05:49,383 I just... I just... 123 00:05:49,385 --> 00:05:52,018 Why don't you try to say that again, only this time, 124 00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:54,288 pretend you consider me your intellectual equal? 125 00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:56,022 Huh? Just for fun, let's try that. 126 00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:59,025 Uh, sorry. We should hurry. 127 00:05:59,027 --> 00:06:01,662 There's gas leaking, and it could explode any second. 128 00:06:01,664 --> 00:06:06,133 Okay! Thank you for telling me how fossil fuels work. 129 00:06:06,135 --> 00:06:07,934 I don't know what I would've done. 130 00:06:07,936 --> 00:06:10,437 There's a lot of blood dripping. 131 00:06:10,439 --> 00:06:13,173 You mean my blood as in my business. 132 00:06:13,175 --> 00:06:14,608 Maybe spend a little less time 133 00:06:14,610 --> 00:06:17,344 worrying about my natural bodily functions 134 00:06:17,346 --> 00:06:20,113 and a little more time not worrying 135 00:06:20,115 --> 00:06:22,983 about my natural body functions! 136 00:06:22,985 --> 00:06:25,385 If this thing blows, we'll be badly burned. 137 00:06:25,387 --> 00:06:28,155 How's this for a burn? Why are you so dumb? Ha! 138 00:06:28,157 --> 00:06:30,891 Uh, it's because I just... 139 00:06:30,893 --> 00:06:34,727 It's because I think you're pretty, all right? 140 00:06:34,729 --> 00:06:36,496 There it is. Typical. 141 00:06:36,498 --> 00:06:40,667 And I'm hoping if we survive this, I can get your phone number. 142 00:06:40,669 --> 00:06:43,003 You do realize how inappropriate this is, right? 143 00:06:43,005 --> 00:06:45,172 I know. I'm sick. 144 00:06:45,174 --> 00:06:47,040 Can you unpack that for me a little bit? 145 00:06:47,042 --> 00:06:50,177 Well, I guess I'm haunted by inferiority 146 00:06:50,179 --> 00:06:52,512 born of my jealousy over the female body's capacity 147 00:06:52,514 --> 00:06:55,015 to carry life into this world which is why 148 00:06:55,017 --> 00:06:58,284 I secretly put nails in the road to cause a wreck 149 00:06:58,286 --> 00:07:02,621 so I can play out my twisted savior complex and feel superior. 150 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,991 But that's why I cut the brakes on my car, 151 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,793 to catch jerks acting superior. 152 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:10,262 You did? That's so funny. 153 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,564 Oh, my god. Weird. 154 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:14,433 No, like, we're actually not so different. 155 00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,568 We both wanted the same thing, just from... 156 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,503 - Different angles. - ...different angles. 157 00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,706 This is no accident. 158 00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:23,843 We're like partners in some cryptic dance. 159 00:07:23,845 --> 00:07:25,845 Oh, god. What are we doing? 160 00:07:25,847 --> 00:07:31,268 - We're doing this. - Oh, my god. Mm. 161 00:07:31,303 --> 00:07:32,851 Every second they didn't explode 162 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,720 made the couple savor life more. 163 00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:38,422 - Mm. - Then can the moment. 164 00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:43,061 It was the first time Clive felt truly held. 165 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:48,066 I could live in this moment forever and ever and ever. 166 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,935 - The way they spat love in the ass of death - and ever and ever... 167 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:53,504 was an inspiration to the world. 168 00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:56,307 Bliss ripped hope a new joy hole. 169 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,808 Atoms orgied. 170 00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,011 The Sun and Moon got a room. 171 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,712 Daisies did the Dougie. 172 00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:05,383 Birds stopped having constant racist thoughts against Asians. 173 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:08,753 Even Jews began to get along with other Jews. 174 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,621 Everyone was happy. 175 00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:15,426 It was a mental health professional's worst nightmare. 176 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,762 Have you ever even peaked in there 177 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,231 - to see what she looks like? - No need. 178 00:08:20,232 --> 00:08:22,600 All that matters is on the inside. 179 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:25,636 She could blow us both to smithereens at any second. 180 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,137 You know what I think? 181 00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:30,240 You're afraid to look, because what if nobody is in there? 182 00:08:30,242 --> 00:08:34,845 You're worried it's empty. You are paranoid! 183 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:39,483 No way. My girl wouldn't not exist. 184 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:42,086 She bees. Tell him you bee, boo. 185 00:08:42,087 --> 00:08:44,121 Boo? Boo? 186 00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:46,623 I'm sorry! I... It's not my fault. 187 00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:48,491 My mom gave me an eating disorder, 188 00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:52,397 so I committed celery-cide. I un-ed myself. 189 00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,131 The... the... the... th... Then what's in here? 190 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,800 Nothing? Are you just an empty portal? 191 00:08:56,802 --> 00:09:01,638 You zilchor! Boo. Boo! 192 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,807 But isn't it beautiful? 193 00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:06,643 Don't you remember how happy we were then? 194 00:09:06,645 --> 00:09:09,312 You tricked me into having a fulfilling relationship 195 00:09:09,314 --> 00:09:11,514 with a manifestation of nostalgia 196 00:09:11,516 --> 00:09:14,951 for the relationship I got tricked into? 197 00:09:14,953 --> 00:09:16,653 You know I hate when I get trapped 198 00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:18,521 in a self-collapsing emotional prison! 199 00:09:18,523 --> 00:09:22,425 I've told you that over and over and over! 200 00:09:22,427 --> 00:09:24,461 But what are you going to do?! 201 00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:27,363 I'm pulling myself out of there. 202 00:09:31,602 --> 00:09:36,538 I could live in this moment forever and ever and ever... 203 00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:39,407 - Ah! - ...and ever and ever... 204 00:09:39,409 --> 00:09:42,578 Clive stayed in his trap for all eternity. 205 00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:46,315 But once your worst fear comes true, your paranoia 206 00:09:46,316 --> 00:09:50,051 can fly back home which might give you the courage 207 00:09:50,053 --> 00:09:54,590 to emancipate your own heart from its abusive cycle of love. 208 00:10:00,297 --> 00:10:04,431 I'm taking a little me time. 209 00:10:04,433 --> 00:10:06,401 And Dr. Bodgey was thrilled 210 00:10:06,402 --> 00:10:09,937 to have some sweet misery to solve once again. 211 00:10:09,939 --> 00:10:15,576 Erasing your identity was a tragic act of pure selflessness. 212 00:10:15,578 --> 00:10:18,045 Blame the mom. 213 00:10:18,047 --> 00:10:20,481 Noooo! 214 00:10:20,483 --> 00:10:22,717 And after she murdered the devil, 215 00:10:22,719 --> 00:10:26,253 Lily felt empowered to share her victory snack with the world. 216 00:10:26,255 --> 00:10:28,088 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 217 00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:30,925 Whoaaa! 218 00:10:30,927 --> 00:10:33,360 Once all existence was gone, 219 00:10:33,362 --> 00:10:36,362 no one could tell if her nothingness was still there 220 00:10:36,364 --> 00:10:38,264 or if it never was. 221 00:10:38,266 --> 00:10:41,134 If she was there, then it wasn't, 222 00:10:41,136 --> 00:10:44,230 but if she was there, then it wasn't. 223 00:10:44,422 --> 00:10:47,590 ♪ There's blood in the kitchen ♪ 224 00:10:47,592 --> 00:10:50,593 ♪ There's blood in the hall ♪ 225 00:10:50,595 --> 00:10:53,629 ♪ There's blood in the parlor ♪ 226 00:10:53,631 --> 00:10:56,766 ♪ Where my lady did fall ♪ 227 00:10:57,018 --> 00:11:00,053 ♪ Long Lankin was hanged ♪ 228 00:11:00,055 --> 00:11:03,326 ♪ On a gibbet so high ♪ 229 00:11:03,361 --> 00:11:06,492 ♪ And the false nurse was burned ♪ 230 00:11:06,597 --> 00:11:10,241 ♪ On a fire close by ♪ 231 00:11:11,116 --> 00:11:14,134 -- MY-SUBS.com --