1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:04,220 One of the victims in Death Boat is a young private detective. 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:07,180 You mean you took the case and you haven't read the book? 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,500 I was getting around to it. 4 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,720 Tonight on Simon and Simon. 5 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:14,760 Two of the murders have actually happened. 6 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,400 Exactly as you wrote them? 7 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:22,660 Wouldn't know how it happened. We have a homicidal maniac running amok in this 8 00:00:22,660 --> 00:00:24,920 town. How many will there be for dinner? 9 00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:27,000 None. You are dead. 10 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:32,219 Who was that? 11 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,980 You didn't recognize him? No. 12 00:02:34,260 --> 00:02:35,259 Rockwell Stark. 13 00:02:35,260 --> 00:02:36,260 Ah. 14 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,680 Just wrote the hottest bestseller of the year. 15 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:40,440 Death Boat. 16 00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:41,580 Right. 17 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,220 So what does he want us to do? 18 00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:44,460 He's having a family reunion. 19 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,560 Wants us to find a long -lost cousin. 20 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:47,880 How long? How lost? 21 00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:52,100 Ah, let's see. Well, last seen, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 1953. 22 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,160 Postcard from Abilene, Kansas, 1956. 23 00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:56,660 After that, nothing. 24 00:02:57,160 --> 00:03:00,600 Great, just my kind of case. Look, I got tickets to tonight's basketball game. I 25 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,780 got Charlie's tickets, the best ones. What do you mean, no? I can count these 26 00:03:03,780 --> 00:03:04,920 things for 50 bucks each. 27 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,640 I promised Stark we'd find his cousin for him within 24 hours. He didn't 28 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:09,640 me. Neither do I. 29 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,780 That's why he's giving us a nice bonus. Do you know what that means? That means 30 00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:16,720 24 hours looking through old newspaper clippings, old telephone books, calling 31 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:17,740 all... No, I passed. 32 00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:19,100 What do you mean you passed? 33 00:03:19,740 --> 00:03:20,740 This is a partnership. 34 00:03:20,980 --> 00:03:24,480 Oh, really? Did you consult with your partner before you took the case? 35 00:03:25,070 --> 00:03:27,450 Well, no, but I mean, if I could find... Fine, then I'll take Jenny to the 36 00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:31,490 ballgame. Well, hey, come on. She doesn't even like ballgames. Yeah, I 37 00:03:31,490 --> 00:03:33,390 the tall guy's turned her on, so you have a nice one. 38 00:03:33,710 --> 00:03:34,710 Hey, Rick! 39 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:36,650 Rick! 40 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,460 Thank you. 41 00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:37,529 I'm next. 42 00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:38,530 I know it. 43 00:06:38,790 --> 00:06:42,970 There's no doubt in my mind. I'm marked as the next victim, and you've got to 44 00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:43,970 protect me. 45 00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:46,610 You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? 46 00:06:46,930 --> 00:06:49,050 Well, you obviously haven't read my book. 47 00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:53,410 Well, you're among the very few who haven't. It's practically a bestseller. 48 00:06:54,170 --> 00:06:55,170 Death Boat. 49 00:06:55,630 --> 00:06:56,630 Rockwell Stark. 50 00:06:56,870 --> 00:07:00,110 The story takes place aboard a luxury cruise ship. 51 00:07:00,590 --> 00:07:03,390 Four celebrities are murdered by a homicidal maniac. 52 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:05,130 Now, so far... 53 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,660 Two of the murders have actually happened in real life. 54 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,320 Exactly as you wrote them? Close enough. 55 00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:14,420 The first victim in my novel is a politician. 56 00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:19,400 Now, three days ago, Senator Joseph Palumbo was kicked to death by a horse. 57 00:07:19,580 --> 00:07:21,120 Kicked to death by a horse? 58 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,000 And you had that happen to a character on a cruise ship? 59 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,240 It was a racehorse. 60 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,420 Ah. In the hold of the ship. 61 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,560 And it was completely credible. 62 00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:35,210 Now, victim number two in the novel is a fashion designer. 63 00:07:35,970 --> 00:07:41,730 Yesterday, Marie Delman was drowned in her pool almost exactly as I had 64 00:07:41,970 --> 00:07:45,710 All right, well, so far we've got two people who've died just like two 65 00:07:45,710 --> 00:07:46,710 characters in your book. 66 00:07:46,970 --> 00:07:53,070 Ah, but victim number three in Death Boat is a well -known popular novelist, 67 00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:57,810 Now, I'm willing to put my money where my life is, on the line. 68 00:07:58,170 --> 00:08:01,270 Now, this should retain your services for a reasonable length of time. 69 00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:07,020 $10 ,000. 70 00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:10,760 Well, that, yeah, ought to... Yeah. 71 00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:16,700 Well, looks like you've got us for the next 28 .57 days. 72 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:21,940 Um, Mr. Stark, you mind if I ask you a pointed question? 73 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:23,560 Of course not. 74 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,280 Why aren't the cops protecting you? 75 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,480 The police think the deaths have absolutely nothing to do with my novel. 76 00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:32,980 They say it's just a coincidence and that I'm after publicity. 77 00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:38,620 Publicity. Two people murdered and I'm next and I want publicity? 78 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:39,980 Yeah, I understand. 79 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:45,060 Just out of curiosity, how did the third victim die? 80 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,840 It was by electrocution. 81 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:49,680 Shocking. 82 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,500 Mr. Simon, are you really certain that's necessary? 83 00:08:58,980 --> 00:09:02,220 Just want to make sure that the juice coming into the house is no higher than 84 00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:03,660 normal. Looks okay. 85 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,600 I still wouldn't watch TV in a bathtub, though. 86 00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:09,140 You live here alone? 87 00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:10,960 No, no, no. With only a housekeeper. 88 00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:12,260 Uh -huh. 89 00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:15,500 Wanda's been with me over 12 years, and I trust her with my life. 90 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:17,020 You keep a dog on the place? 91 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:20,140 No, no, no, no. Wanda doesn't like dogs. 92 00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:22,620 I think it might be a good idea, you know, just temporarily. 93 00:09:22,940 --> 00:09:24,060 At least till the killer's nailed. 94 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,120 I'll arrange for it. No, it's a charge. 95 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:27,479 Thank you. 96 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,820 Where's your brother? I thought I'd hired two bodyguards. You hired two 97 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:31,820 investigators. 98 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:36,080 There hasn't been two murders. There has only been one murder, Marie Delman. 99 00:09:36,340 --> 00:09:39,720 Now, Senator Palumbo's death is still being ruled accidental. Wait a sec. 100 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:43,260 Palumbo was an expert horseman. He rode in the Olympics. Now, there's no way a 101 00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:46,900 guy like that is going to accidentally get stomped to death by his own horse. 102 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,120 Well, that's what the police say. 103 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:51,400 That's because they haven't finished the autopsy. On Palumbo? 104 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:52,760 No. 105 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,000 On the horse. 106 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,740 Oh, wait a minute. They are doing an autopsy on the horse? Yes. 107 00:09:57,560 --> 00:10:00,040 If the horse was drugged, it means Palumbo was murdered. 108 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:06,100 A .J., did it ever occur to you that maybe Mr. Stark hired you and Rick as a 109 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:07,780 publicity stunt to promote his book? 110 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,300 Sure, that occurred to us. It also occurred to us that he's scared to 111 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:12,840 Have you read this thing? 112 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,420 That? No, certainly not. The reviews were dreadful. Everybody says it's 113 00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:17,780 just like everything else he's ever written. 114 00:10:17,980 --> 00:10:20,800 Right. Nobody likes this stuff. Well, except the public. 115 00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:23,620 All right, you know the novelist that he thinks is himself. 116 00:10:24,420 --> 00:10:25,580 Listen to this description. 117 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,480 He's described as... 118 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,820 a highly skilled writer who has elevated the simple mystery story to the heights 119 00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:34,820 of classic literature. 120 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:39,480 Now, that description might fit Raymond Chandler, but not Rockwell Stark. I 121 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:40,580 mean, talk about wishful thinking. 122 00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:42,900 Thank you. 123 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,220 Wait a minute. Leave that here. 124 00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:48,900 I haven't finished it yet. 125 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,360 A .J.? 126 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,160 Yes? Hi, I'm A .J. Simon. 127 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:27,880 How do I know that? 128 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,340 Well, I just told you I was. 129 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,820 It's okay, Wanda. That's the other half of the team. Say hi to my brother. 130 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:41,160 Mr. Stark is due at a TV interview in precisely 38 minutes. Yeah, I know, 131 00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:42,220 darling. We're on the case. 132 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,700 I'll tell the master you're here. 133 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,320 Very good. 134 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:49,800 Master? 135 00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:52,600 It's hard to find good help like this these days. 136 00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:15,060 There are many ways to electrocute a man. 137 00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:17,900 Good thinking. 138 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:20,660 Up or down? Up. 139 00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:27,220 Which floor? 140 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:28,260 Three. 141 00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:55,940 We're stuck between floors. Well, now look here. I'm due in Studio C. I'm 142 00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:56,940 to get you there. 143 00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:06,740 It's dead. 144 00:13:08,380 --> 00:13:12,160 You don't suppose that... No, I don't suppose anything. 145 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,360 I think it's just an accident. 146 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:16,020 Yeah, these things happen all the time. 147 00:13:16,660 --> 00:13:18,900 Well, maybe one of us could crawl out through the top of the car. 148 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,200 There's usually a removable panel. 149 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,020 No, no, try closer to the center. 150 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:35,520 That's it. That's it. I think you got it. 151 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:37,640 No. 152 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:38,760 What was that? 153 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:45,460 Oh, my God. 154 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:51,540 I'm sure there's some perfectly logical explanation for this. No, no, no. I'm 155 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:52,259 going to die. 156 00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:56,300 Just calm down now. We're not going to let anything happen to you. Probably 157 00:13:56,300 --> 00:14:02,740 happened. Was a workman, left it on... Well, everybody's reading it now, you 158 00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:03,740 know. Yeah, everybody. 159 00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:08,340 Just calm down. We're going to get you out of here. Here, hold that. 160 00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:09,900 Give me a boost up, okay? 161 00:14:11,420 --> 00:14:12,420 I'm going to go get some help. 162 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,220 You are dead, Mr. 163 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,500 Stark. 164 00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:39,220 There's someone up there. 165 00:15:38,060 --> 00:15:40,040 Coach, mine's not heavy enough. 166 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,880 All right, I got you. I'll do it. 167 00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:45,900 What? 168 00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,119 You okay? 169 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,120 You all right, Mr. Stark? 170 00:15:56,860 --> 00:15:59,660 Hey, you still up there? I think one of us better go check. 171 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,240 I'll cover you. 172 00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:07,160 Okay. Let's be fair. 173 00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:15,380 Tails. 174 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,160 Oh, whoopee. 175 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,580 All right, ready? 176 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:23,280 Okay. 177 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,760 One, two. Two and a half? 178 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,040 Three. 179 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,520 There's no one here. Do you see anything? 180 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,160 Nope. 181 00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:40,300 Yes, I sure as hell do. 182 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:41,520 What? 183 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:48,259 There you go. 184 00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:49,260 You all right? 185 00:17:30,570 --> 00:17:31,570 Here, give me a hand. 186 00:17:36,830 --> 00:17:38,730 Can you get it? Yep. All right. 187 00:17:47,630 --> 00:17:49,030 What the... Look at that. 188 00:17:55,350 --> 00:17:56,350 Electronic. 189 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:05,950 The killer could have been anywhere. 190 00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:08,870 He heard us get into the elevator with this thing. 191 00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:12,870 The stalling of the elevator, the cable coming down. The whole caper could have 192 00:18:12,870 --> 00:18:14,150 been triggered from half a mile away. 193 00:18:14,770 --> 00:18:18,050 Gentlemen, I salute you. You performed magnificently. 194 00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,270 I owe you both my life. 195 00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:23,690 I'll get you to the hospital. 196 00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:26,250 What are you doing? 197 00:18:26,530 --> 00:18:31,030 I'm scheduled for a TV interview, and I plan to keep that appointment. 198 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,120 Two, one. 199 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,000 You're on the air. Go. 200 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,980 Good afternoon, and welcome to Words with Writers. 201 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:46,240 I'm Keith Berwick, and our special guest this afternoon is Rockwell Stark, whose 202 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:51,520 latest novel, Death Boat, is rapidly climbing the bestseller charts, despite 203 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,340 severe lambasting by the critics. 204 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,500 Mr. Stark, welcome to the show. 205 00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:56,860 Thank you. 206 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,980 Mr. Stark, it's come to our attention that Death Boat is apparently infighting 207 00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:04,980 some individual to commit certain acts of violence. 208 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,800 I would prefer not to talk about that. 209 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:14,360 But so far there have been two deaths that bear a striking resemblance to 210 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:18,380 certain... Please, please, I must insist. I don't want to be accused of 211 00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:19,780 exploiting these terrible crimes. 212 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,360 I see. 213 00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:23,640 Mr. Stark... 214 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,300 What do you consider an author's responsibility to his readers? 215 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,520 To give them their money's worth. 216 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:34,860 The people that are incited to violence by a work of fiction... Hi. Hi, sweetie. 217 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:35,940 How you doing? Okay. 218 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,000 Are you sure? 219 00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:38,640 Yep. Fine. Thank you for coming. 220 00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:39,860 You're welcome. 221 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:41,840 He seems fine. 222 00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:42,979 He is. 223 00:19:42,980 --> 00:19:45,520 He's refusing to talk about the killings. Well, good for him. 224 00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:49,820 Oh, A .J., you were right about Palumbo's death. It is starting to look 225 00:19:49,820 --> 00:19:50,820 murder. Aha. 226 00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:54,760 The medical examiner found traces of amphetamines in the horse's blood. Now, 227 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:58,280 were you able to find a connection between Palumbo and that woman who 228 00:19:58,500 --> 00:19:59,459 What's her name? 229 00:19:59,460 --> 00:20:04,720 Marie Delman. That's her. No. Well, only a rumor. About four years ago, there 230 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,880 was some talk of her having an affair with Palumbo. 231 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,020 Rick, he was married at the time. 232 00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:12,500 Anyway, I haven't been able to verify it. 233 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,120 The sort of thing they say about politicians with half of the starlets in 234 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,120 Hollywood. 235 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,240 Thank you. 236 00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:22,520 I will return them to you as quickly as possible. And if you get caught with 237 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,060 them, you will say you stole them, right? 238 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:25,760 Say Rick stole them. Right. 239 00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:30,360 Okay. Oh, by the way, now that the police believe Stark's story, they've 240 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:32,140 assigned a couple of plainclothes men to guard him. 241 00:20:45,290 --> 00:20:48,650 I want to tell you again how much I appreciate... Oh, no, no, no. We were 242 00:20:48,650 --> 00:20:52,670 doing what you hired us to do. Well, these days, that almost seems a lost 243 00:20:54,590 --> 00:20:59,430 Look, Mr. Stark, now that the police are on the case, maybe you'd like us to... 244 00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:03,230 I'd still like you and your brother to stay on the job, if it's all right with 245 00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:04,350 you. It's what we do. 246 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,360 I'll lose my dog, woman. 247 00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:21,560 If this scruffiness creature belongs to you... He was on duty. You leave him 248 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:26,600 alone. The master is not kindly disposed toward canines. Well, this particular 249 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:30,720 canine is a highly skilled attack -trained animal, and he happens to be 250 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:31,599 the team. 251 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:37,820 If I see that mongrel in the kitchen or the pantry or anywhere near my living 252 00:21:37,820 --> 00:21:39,640 quarters... And where were you this afternoon? 253 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,060 I beg your pardon? Just where the hell were you when your boss was being 254 00:21:44,060 --> 00:21:49,230 attacked? You have the effrontery to interrogate me. You bet I do, lady. Now, 255 00:21:49,230 --> 00:21:50,229 where were you? 256 00:21:50,230 --> 00:21:54,550 Not that it's any of your business, but I was at my parole offices. 257 00:21:54,830 --> 00:21:57,710 Oh, did anybody see you? Can you prove that you... Where? 258 00:21:58,810 --> 00:22:02,770 I'm certain you heard me, Mr. Simon. I speak very distinctly. 259 00:22:05,530 --> 00:22:07,030 You mean to tell me you're on parole? 260 00:22:07,670 --> 00:22:09,550 It's a matter of public record. 261 00:22:10,750 --> 00:22:11,750 What'd you do? 262 00:22:12,070 --> 00:22:13,070 Murder. 263 00:22:13,550 --> 00:22:15,570 Multiple murder, as a matter of fact. 264 00:22:16,110 --> 00:22:18,510 I poisoned a family of eight. 265 00:22:20,750 --> 00:22:23,470 I assume you'll be taking your meals out? 266 00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:28,430 All dead. 267 00:22:33,910 --> 00:22:37,690 You put me on write -down. How many will there be for dinner? 268 00:22:39,710 --> 00:22:40,710 None. 269 00:22:41,290 --> 00:22:42,810 Tonight we're, uh... 270 00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:47,550 We're taking the master to dine with his number one fan. 271 00:22:54,950 --> 00:22:57,990 Wanda certainly does have a rather bizarre sense of humor. 272 00:22:58,970 --> 00:23:01,730 The housekeeper who poisoned the family. 273 00:23:02,530 --> 00:23:04,790 Wasn't that a character in your first book? 274 00:23:05,330 --> 00:23:06,530 Murder a la carte. 275 00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:10,810 I didn't think anyone besides myself had read it. No, Mom's read all your books. 276 00:23:11,110 --> 00:23:12,110 Have you now? 277 00:23:12,250 --> 00:23:13,430 All nine of them. 278 00:23:14,010 --> 00:23:18,130 Well, now, I'm flattered beyond measure. And I like each one better than the 279 00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:21,250 last. I can actually see the growth in your art. 280 00:23:21,930 --> 00:23:26,030 Art? Well, now, that's a term that I've never heard applied to my work. 281 00:23:26,370 --> 00:23:28,090 Oh, I don't care what the critics say. 282 00:23:28,290 --> 00:23:32,390 It's a real art to be able to hold someone's attention glued to the page in 283 00:23:32,390 --> 00:23:33,389 after book. 284 00:23:33,390 --> 00:23:38,790 Well... I just finished Death Boat, and, oh, I'm sorry the young private 285 00:23:38,790 --> 00:23:41,690 detective had to die. He was my favorite character. 286 00:23:42,410 --> 00:23:43,410 Uh... 287 00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:47,430 One of the victims in Death Boat is a young private detective? 288 00:23:47,890 --> 00:23:48,890 Why, yes. 289 00:23:48,950 --> 00:23:49,950 Victim number four. 290 00:23:51,110 --> 00:23:53,750 How come you never mentioned this little tidbit before? 291 00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:59,710 Well, I... I didn't think it was important. 292 00:24:00,050 --> 00:24:02,890 You didn't think it was important? 293 00:24:03,550 --> 00:24:06,470 You mean you took the case and you haven't read the book? 294 00:24:06,790 --> 00:24:07,830 I was getting around to it. 295 00:24:08,590 --> 00:24:13,530 Well, if some maniac is going around killing people according to the story, I 296 00:24:13,530 --> 00:24:16,690 would think the book would be filled with clues. Mom, if you wouldn't mind, 297 00:24:16,930 --> 00:24:17,930 please. 298 00:24:18,450 --> 00:24:20,030 I'm just trying to be helpful. 299 00:24:20,890 --> 00:24:27,630 This young private detective, victim number four, how young is he? 300 00:24:49,740 --> 00:24:50,740 Didn't mean to scare you. 301 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:53,960 Stark asleep? 302 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,040 Yeah, he's asleep. 303 00:24:58,460 --> 00:25:00,440 House is all buttoned down. Cops are outside. 304 00:25:01,380 --> 00:25:02,500 You check the alarm? 305 00:25:02,900 --> 00:25:05,840 Yeah, nobody's going to get into here without waking up everybody for miles. 306 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:07,560 Good. 307 00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:13,960 Did you get to that part yet where the young private detective gets killed? 308 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,340 Not yet. Wouldn't know how it happened. No, I would rather find out. 309 00:25:24,020 --> 00:25:25,020 Burned to death? 310 00:25:26,420 --> 00:25:27,420 Incinerated. 311 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,540 Thanks. Anytime. 312 00:25:51,530 --> 00:25:55,470 and to the North American Book Award. Two years in a row. Many more to come. 313 00:25:55,590 --> 00:25:56,590 Thanks, Jerry. 314 00:25:58,710 --> 00:26:01,690 Look, Alan's silent friend has won the award. 315 00:26:02,350 --> 00:26:04,910 Maybe the universal deal... Oh, Derek, I know what you're going to say. 316 00:26:05,310 --> 00:26:07,170 You write the books. I'll sell them. 317 00:26:07,410 --> 00:26:08,410 Fair enough. 318 00:26:08,730 --> 00:26:09,770 Telephone, Mr. Thorne. 319 00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:11,089 Long distance. 320 00:26:11,090 --> 00:26:12,029 I'll take it here. 321 00:26:12,030 --> 00:26:16,310 The caller said you'd want privacy, and he suggested that you take it in my 322 00:26:16,310 --> 00:26:19,730 office. I asked his name, but he wouldn't give it. 323 00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:21,360 All right. 324 00:26:21,820 --> 00:26:23,560 Be right back. This way, please. 325 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,160 Will you be staying much longer, Mr. Thorne? 326 00:26:32,780 --> 00:26:37,220 Oh, Lord, it's almost two in the morning. I'm sorry, Andre. I lost all 327 00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:39,440 time. As soon as I finish the call, I get right out of your hair. 328 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,500 Thank you very much, sir. Thank you. 329 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,660 Hello? Mr. Derek Thorne? 330 00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:53,030 Yes? This is Geneva, Switzerland, long distance operator 17. 331 00:26:53,590 --> 00:26:54,670 Please stand by. 332 00:27:45,290 --> 00:27:46,290 See you later. 333 00:27:55,290 --> 00:27:56,390 Derek Thorne. 334 00:27:56,890 --> 00:27:58,870 I still can't believe it. 335 00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:03,110 Did you know him, Mr. Stark? No, no, no, no, not personally. 336 00:28:03,650 --> 00:28:04,710 Just by reputation. 337 00:28:05,790 --> 00:28:08,510 He was a very successful writer, wasn't he? 338 00:28:08,710 --> 00:28:09,710 Yes. 339 00:28:09,910 --> 00:28:12,990 On the strength of two highly overrated novels. 340 00:28:14,140 --> 00:28:16,120 We just got rid of Serpico and Dick Tracy. 341 00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:18,820 Well, I don't think we'll be needing them anymore. 342 00:28:19,340 --> 00:28:22,820 As a matter of fact, I feel secure enough to let both of you go. 343 00:28:25,780 --> 00:28:29,780 But it's only been four days, and you did hire us for 28 plus. 344 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:35,840 Well, take the rest of the time off as a bonus for a job well done. 345 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,320 Are you sure that's what you want to do? 346 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:38,720 Positive. 347 00:28:39,100 --> 00:28:40,800 Whoever that maniac is... 348 00:28:42,180 --> 00:28:43,800 He's found his third victim. 349 00:28:47,060 --> 00:28:48,060 Mr. Stark? 350 00:28:48,220 --> 00:28:49,220 Yes? 351 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:54,120 About the fourth victim... Oh, come on, A .J. The young private investigator? 352 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,840 Did you have anyone in mind when you wrote him in? A .J. 353 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:04,720 No, Mr. Simon, I didn't. The fourth victim in Death Boat was strictly a 354 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:05,720 of my imagination. 355 00:29:06,100 --> 00:29:10,810 Ah. Hey, Jay, there's got to be at least 200 licensed private detectives in a 10 356 00:29:10,810 --> 00:29:12,950 -mile radius. I don't believe that. 357 00:29:14,710 --> 00:29:19,110 I'm sorry to be a source of concern to you, Mr. Simon, but I'm sure that you're 358 00:29:19,110 --> 00:29:22,490 not going to be in any kind of jeopardy whatsoever. 359 00:29:24,050 --> 00:29:25,050 See? 360 00:29:31,650 --> 00:29:32,650 Where's Marlow? 361 00:29:32,910 --> 00:29:35,550 Oh, I saw Wanda dragging him off to the house. 362 00:29:36,030 --> 00:29:37,030 Wanda. 363 00:29:39,540 --> 00:29:40,540 Wanda! Hey! 364 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:51,240 Are you crazy? 365 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:56,400 How dare you come barging in there like that? Well, what do you think you're 366 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,860 doing trying to drown my dog? 367 00:29:58,440 --> 00:29:59,680 Drown your dog? 368 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,080 I was bathing him. 369 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:04,280 You're giving him a bath? 370 00:30:04,580 --> 00:30:05,499 That's right. 371 00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:06,500 I don't believe you. 372 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,520 Have you smelled him lately? 373 00:30:12,380 --> 00:30:13,680 Smells fine. 374 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:15,920 Now he does. 375 00:30:38,190 --> 00:30:39,310 Where do you think you're going? 376 00:30:40,870 --> 00:30:43,970 Well, since Stark's out of danger, I figured I'd take Jenny Sue up to Mammoth 377 00:30:43,970 --> 00:30:45,150 for a week in R andR, you know. 378 00:30:46,050 --> 00:30:50,570 We have a homicidal maniac running amok in this town, and you're going to go off 379 00:30:50,570 --> 00:30:51,209 and play? 380 00:30:51,210 --> 00:30:54,310 Hey, hey, hey, come on. We're off of the case. Now, we've got a perfectly 381 00:30:54,310 --> 00:30:57,090 competent police force that takes care of things like this. A perfectly 382 00:30:57,090 --> 00:31:00,430 competent, a lot of good that perfectly competent police force did for Derek 383 00:31:00,430 --> 00:31:01,430 Thorne. Oh, wow. 384 00:31:01,650 --> 00:31:06,110 Now, Rick, one of us is victim number four. 385 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:07,880 Maybe both of us. 386 00:31:08,620 --> 00:31:10,500 According to the book, he's young. 387 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,140 I can't believe you seriously think you're in any kind of danger. 388 00:31:19,780 --> 00:31:20,780 Believe it. Why? 389 00:31:22,140 --> 00:31:23,140 Instinct. Bull. 390 00:31:24,460 --> 00:31:28,100 Look, Rick, that maniac tried to kill us in the elevator. Doesn't that make you 391 00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:31,800 mad? It was Stark he was after, not us. We happened to be in the way, which is 392 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,800 what we get paid to do. Be in the way. 393 00:31:34,460 --> 00:31:36,300 You're going to help me nail this Looney Tune or what? 394 00:31:36,740 --> 00:31:38,560 You really think somebody's trying to kill you? 395 00:31:38,860 --> 00:31:39,860 Yes. 396 00:31:40,140 --> 00:31:41,180 Maybe both of us. 397 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:42,720 I'll tell you what. 398 00:31:43,380 --> 00:31:47,380 I'm going to start right now living my life like every day was my last. 399 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,500 Which means I'm going to take Laura and Jenny Sue up to Mammoth for a weekend 400 00:31:52,500 --> 00:31:55,160 hour. Come on, AJ, I'm only kidding. Hey! 401 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:56,920 Hey! 402 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,480 You're being totally paranoid about this, you know that? 403 00:32:02,710 --> 00:32:04,010 Nobody's got to incinerate you. 404 00:32:05,190 --> 00:32:09,790 You don't have one single shred of evidence that you're going to be the 405 00:32:09,790 --> 00:32:13,210 victim. As a matter of fact, you don't even know if there's going to be a 406 00:34:34,629 --> 00:34:36,070 Now, would you call that nervous? 407 00:34:36,389 --> 00:34:39,130 Yeah, I'd call that nervous. Yep, yep, yep. Definitely nervous. 408 00:34:39,550 --> 00:34:41,429 Very funny. Where the hell have you been? 409 00:34:41,790 --> 00:34:44,770 Hey, I told you I'd get here when it was dark. It was dark? 410 00:34:46,429 --> 00:34:49,190 It's 7 .30, Rick. It got dark two hours ago. 411 00:34:49,409 --> 00:34:50,149 Oh, God. 412 00:34:50,150 --> 00:34:51,150 What are you doing there? 413 00:34:51,969 --> 00:34:55,130 Oh, I'm trying to see the connection between the first three victims. It 414 00:34:55,130 --> 00:34:57,010 give us an arrow to who the killer is. 415 00:34:57,310 --> 00:34:58,970 So you can get him before he gets you? 416 00:34:59,290 --> 00:35:00,290 You got it. 417 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:04,160 Come on, A .J., take a break and go to dinner with us. I'm not hungry, thank 418 00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,320 you. I promise we won't sit near any open flames. 419 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:12,740 All right, listen, A .J., we're going to go out and get a nice, rich slab of 420 00:35:12,740 --> 00:35:15,140 rare roast beef, and then we're going to go to the Trotters. 421 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,220 You ever been to Night Harness Racing? 422 00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,000 No. Thanks, just the same, some other time. 423 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:22,800 You're a lover. 424 00:35:26,820 --> 00:35:27,820 Hey, Rick. 425 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:28,920 Uh -huh. 426 00:35:32,140 --> 00:35:33,400 I need some help on this one. 427 00:35:35,540 --> 00:35:36,540 Can we get you something? 428 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,300 Um, doggy bag. 429 00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:44,620 Oh, Myron, fifth horse, second race, ten bucks. 430 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:45,880 What can I do? 431 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,500 Take a look at Thorne's file. 432 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,860 See if there's anything there that might be a link between Delman and Palumbo. 433 00:37:15,670 --> 00:37:16,549 Stuffy in here. 434 00:37:16,550 --> 00:37:17,550 Yeah, it is. 435 00:37:19,010 --> 00:37:20,010 Good for me. 436 00:37:20,170 --> 00:37:21,170 No idea. 437 00:38:52,140 --> 00:38:56,020 Hate to tell you, I told you so. Shut up, AJ. I'm not even supposed to be 438 00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:58,600 Victim number four is a young private detective. 439 00:38:58,940 --> 00:39:01,540 He left a copy of Death Boat on your desk, you know. 440 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:07,120 Help! 441 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:12,360 Just save your breath for the candle. One more time, on three. 442 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:16,140 One, two, three. 443 00:39:21,770 --> 00:39:25,830 Well, that didn't look good. You realize how embarrassing this is? Two grown men 444 00:39:25,830 --> 00:39:28,250 tied up like a bunch of... I was just cool with AJ. We got about a minute to 445 00:39:28,250 --> 00:39:29,550 figure this thing out or we're gonna die. 446 00:39:29,830 --> 00:39:33,730 All right. Let's start rocking back and forth. Hold it. Hold it. Don't you... 447 00:39:33,730 --> 00:39:36,710 Don't. Don't move. You start doing that, you're just gonna set it off that much 448 00:39:36,710 --> 00:39:38,030 faster. It'll work. 449 00:39:39,910 --> 00:39:40,910 You're right. 450 00:39:41,570 --> 00:39:42,570 My left. 451 00:39:42,830 --> 00:39:43,830 On three. 452 00:39:45,210 --> 00:39:46,210 One. 453 00:39:47,730 --> 00:39:48,730 Two. 454 00:39:49,930 --> 00:39:51,050 Three. Yes! 455 00:39:56,039 --> 00:39:57,039 It works. 456 00:39:57,140 --> 00:39:58,140 Huh? 457 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:05,980 What did I tell you? Didn't I tell you it worked? 458 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:07,440 Well, it worked. 459 00:40:09,180 --> 00:40:11,820 A .J., we've been hit. What do you mean we've been hit? What are you talking 460 00:40:11,820 --> 00:40:14,980 about? That's not kerosene. Why do you want to bet that stuff won't even burn, 461 00:40:15,060 --> 00:40:19,960 huh? It smells like... I know it smells like kerosene, but it can't be kerosene. 462 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,920 Kerosene hits a flame, it burns. That's what it's designed to do, right? 463 00:40:24,529 --> 00:40:25,529 Where's a match? 464 00:40:27,450 --> 00:40:28,750 Rick, I wouldn't do that. 465 00:40:29,390 --> 00:40:31,010 Rick, I wouldn't do that. Rick, no! 466 00:40:54,379 --> 00:40:56,140 Well, now what the hell do we do about this? 467 00:40:57,700 --> 00:40:58,700 Redecorate? 468 00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:00,960 I tell you what. 469 00:41:01,740 --> 00:41:05,100 Let's go someplace where nobody can sneak up on us with a flamethrower. 470 00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:16,460 Do you have any idea how totally degrading that was, being trussed up 471 00:41:16,460 --> 00:41:18,880 couple of chickens waiting to be barbecued? Uh -huh. 472 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,500 I mean, the contempt of it. 473 00:41:22,990 --> 00:41:25,790 Treating us like, like, like chickens. Dirt. 474 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:07,640 What burns me about this? 475 00:42:08,140 --> 00:42:10,060 It seems so showy about it. 476 00:42:11,260 --> 00:42:16,580 It was like he was a performer or a... Writer? 477 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:18,760 Huh? 478 00:42:19,340 --> 00:42:21,500 Remember Stark told us he'd never met Thorne? 479 00:42:21,720 --> 00:42:22,720 Yeah. 480 00:42:23,900 --> 00:42:27,900 It says right there that Thorne took a writing course from him four years ago 481 00:42:27,900 --> 00:42:28,900 City College. 482 00:42:28,980 --> 00:42:31,020 Well, maybe Stark forgot. 483 00:42:31,380 --> 00:42:32,380 Maybe. 484 00:42:33,300 --> 00:42:35,080 Maybe he just hated a lot of people. 485 00:42:36,140 --> 00:42:39,240 I mean, hated them enough to want them dead. 486 00:42:39,780 --> 00:42:43,780 So he writes a book about how people who roughly fit their descriptions are all 487 00:42:43,780 --> 00:42:44,759 getting killed. 488 00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:45,678 Uh -huh. 489 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,240 Wait until the book gets published. 490 00:42:48,540 --> 00:42:51,780 Then start killing them off. Make it look like the work of a maniac. 491 00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:53,980 Which would make Dark the maniac. 492 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:56,280 Exactly. 493 00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,080 I don't believe it. What? 494 00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:02,960 He is making fools out of us. 495 00:43:03,690 --> 00:43:07,250 You remember the hot wire in the elevator bed looked like it almost 496 00:43:07,250 --> 00:43:08,250 Stark? 497 00:43:08,650 --> 00:43:11,870 Well, according to this, there wasn't enough juice in that wire to kill 498 00:43:11,930 --> 00:43:14,330 just enough to make it look scary and throw a lot of sparks. 499 00:43:15,350 --> 00:43:18,270 He could have triggered the remote control device himself. 500 00:43:19,310 --> 00:43:21,310 Easily. One hand in his pocket. 501 00:43:21,550 --> 00:43:23,690 I think we better go have a talk with Mr. Stark. 502 00:43:29,230 --> 00:43:34,490 And it's taken six months and every ounce of political clout I could muster 503 00:43:34,490 --> 00:43:37,070 get myself invited to an actual autopsy. 504 00:43:37,330 --> 00:43:42,690 As you can imagine, the medical examiner's office is extremely reluctant 505 00:43:42,690 --> 00:43:44,750 allow unauthorized observers. 506 00:43:45,630 --> 00:43:49,790 Mr. Simon, your mind seems elsewhere. 507 00:43:50,170 --> 00:43:51,450 Am I boring you? 508 00:43:51,670 --> 00:43:54,030 No, no, no, no, not at all. It's fascinating. 509 00:43:58,780 --> 00:44:03,280 Uh, somehow I feel this is not a social call. 510 00:44:04,340 --> 00:44:05,820 You're right, it's not. 511 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:10,960 My brother and I were putting things together this morning, and we came to 512 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:16,900 conclusion that it was you who murdered Senator Palumbo, Marie Delman, Derek 513 00:44:16,900 --> 00:44:20,080 Thorne, and then tried to kill us. 514 00:44:29,340 --> 00:44:31,740 Gentlemen, you are good. 515 00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,420 Well? What a master stroke. 516 00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:41,840 Naturally, if I were a homicidal maniac, that accusation would have shattered my 517 00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:46,500 composure. I must use that ploy in my very next novel. 518 00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,260 Brilliant. Just brilliant. 519 00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:50,680 Why, thank you. 520 00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:55,560 Now, which of you has the revolver pointed at me under the table? 521 00:45:00,530 --> 00:45:07,210 Both of you. Well, well, well. Now, I am flattered, but not really dangerous. 522 00:45:09,170 --> 00:45:13,470 Would you care to search me? 523 00:45:14,250 --> 00:45:15,870 Well, now that you mention it. 524 00:45:17,390 --> 00:45:19,850 Well, now, whatever made you suspect me? 525 00:45:20,370 --> 00:45:22,270 You said you had never met Thorn. 526 00:45:22,570 --> 00:45:24,790 Oh, my. Did I really say that? 527 00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:30,280 Well, he was my student at City College, of course. And I killed him because his 528 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:33,100 books get better reviews than mine. 529 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:39,920 Well, now tell me, why did I kill Senator Palumbo and that Delman woman? 530 00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:41,980 Undoubtedly because you hated them. 531 00:45:45,340 --> 00:45:46,780 Would you like some more coffee? 532 00:45:47,100 --> 00:45:48,760 No, no, no. No, thank you. 533 00:45:49,460 --> 00:45:50,560 You know something? 534 00:45:50,940 --> 00:45:52,660 This is really absurd. 535 00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:54,080 Yeah, we know. 536 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,100 Of course, we'd still like to take a look around, if you don't mind. 537 00:45:58,380 --> 00:45:59,660 Oh, I don't mind at all. 538 00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,440 But what is it that you hope to find? 539 00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:06,140 Oh, possibly some electronic gear. 540 00:46:07,660 --> 00:46:10,800 Something that might be used to stall an elevator, say. 541 00:46:12,980 --> 00:46:16,040 My house is your house. 542 00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:19,280 After you. 543 00:46:20,340 --> 00:46:22,640 Follow me, gentlemen. 544 00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:35,160 My workshop, help yourselves. 545 00:46:53,580 --> 00:46:54,740 AJ, give me a hand with this. 546 00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:07,440 Place your weapons on the floor and kick them over to me. 547 00:47:10,860 --> 00:47:11,960 Okay, okay, okay. 548 00:48:02,770 --> 00:48:03,770 Excellent, 549 00:48:04,690 --> 00:48:06,410 Mr. Simon. Warren, just outstanding. 550 00:48:06,710 --> 00:48:09,870 Now, here's your check, and the bonus is included. 551 00:48:10,250 --> 00:48:14,750 Well, thank you very much indeed. I'm glad that I was able to find your cousin 552 00:48:14,750 --> 00:48:17,570 so easily. Well, this is wonderful. I've wanted to see him again for years. 553 00:48:18,190 --> 00:48:19,370 Just wonderful. 554 00:48:19,890 --> 00:48:20,890 Bye -bye. 555 00:48:22,670 --> 00:48:25,810 You didn't tell me how much the bonus was going to be. You didn't ask me how 556 00:48:25,810 --> 00:48:27,090 much the bonus was going to be. 557 00:48:27,370 --> 00:48:30,150 Yeah, well, it's okay, because I've got to go to the bank anyway. I could just 558 00:48:30,150 --> 00:48:32,790 deposit that for you. Why don't you take a look and see what it's made out to? 559 00:48:33,870 --> 00:48:36,470 Hey, wait a minute. The name of this company is Simon and Simon. 560 00:48:36,850 --> 00:48:37,850 That's right, partner. 561 00:48:38,310 --> 00:48:41,650 So you get to watch the office for the next two days while this check and I go 562 00:48:41,650 --> 00:48:42,629 to San Francisco. 563 00:48:42,630 --> 00:48:44,390 AJ! Bye -bye! AJ!