1 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,951 These are the worst injuries I've seen in the whole of my career. 2 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,998 What happened to him? 3 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,233 I don't know, but they say he saved the world. 4 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:58,316 Nooooooooo! 5 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:16,919 This must heaven and you must be Jah - big up yaself. 6 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:19,953 Can I come in please? 7 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:26,358 We've already got TuPac and Biggie, heaven's not ready for another angel. 8 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:32,350 Go back to earth Ali, your work there is not yet done. 9 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,840 Nuff said. 10 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,837 While I iz up here I couldn't get an extra couple of inches could I? 11 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:50,360 No, 11 is enough for any man. 12 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:58,119 Hold on. It just moved. 13 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,480 Throw your hands in the air And push'em up like you just don't care 14 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,837 And if you're ready to rock and raise the roof on top then somebody say 15 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,515 Oh yeah! 16 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:22,960 Hey you don't stop. Push em up now Put your hands up, come on, raise the roof. 17 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,835 Ooooh. Push it up, push it up! 18 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,957 Recognise! 19 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,320 Me iz got a blackbelt in keepin it real, 20 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:59,400 dat is why every week me get sent 100s of letters, 21 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,837 some of dem is photographs, fankyou Joanne Slaney.. 22 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,960 I don't fink I will ever eat a chunky Kit Kat again 23 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,876 but most of dem is about realness 24 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,557 and about special the gift of how nice life is. 25 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:18,192 In fact just yesterday me walked into St. Christopher's hospital in Chertsey 26 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,760 dere me saw a tiny baby nestlin' on its mothers chest, 27 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:26,000 it woz de most wonderful fing I iz ever seen. 28 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,960 It was just a shame the baby's head was blocking me view of de full nip. 29 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,320 Me fought about dat baby and me worried about its future 30 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,119 coz dere is so much baddness on de streets. 31 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:42,031 Unfortunately dere will always be crime becoz it gives u such a WIKID buzz. 32 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,718 Dat's why earlier on me met dat coppa off Crimewatch 33 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:51,000 to get 'im to explain to de youth de dangers of weapons. Peace. 34 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:05,914 De filth, scum, pig, dese is some of the terrible fings the police is called. 35 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,880 Other fings include de fuzz and de fuzzy muff. 36 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:14,552 You gotta give the flange respect cos dey is keepin' the street safe 37 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,632 from the most dangerous weapons. 38 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:21,397 Dis is Detective Super Intendent David Hatcher from the police, 39 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,792 he is here to show some of the terrible weapons that brothers is using 40 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:29,119 on brothers every day. Ain't that right. Now what is these? 41 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:34,676 Right this is, er, basically it's two bits of wood, it's called a chucker, 42 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:35,711 sometimes it's called a flail. 43 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,271 So where can you get these kinds of thing from? 44 00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:41,514 Well you can't buy them in this country legally. 45 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,394 For real. So which countries can you buy these things from? 46 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,480 Er, I'm not going to advertise where they can come from. 47 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:48,960 What has we got in here? 48 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,430 Right this looks like a, this is actually a very small knife, 49 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,871 a dagger that, er, as you can see... 50 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,953 Ah nice, that is an interesting fing. And how much is one of dese? 51 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,950 To buy? - Aii. - I've no idea. 52 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,879 Aii for real. So what about this, is this well dangerous? 53 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,714 That is wicked, what is that? I've never seen that before. 54 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,754 What is that is that well dangerous if you go like that 55 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:13,112 and then like flick that around? What is that? 56 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,000 It's dangerous which ever way you look at it, isn't it? 57 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,514 I mean it's got a sharp point, it's got a blade, er... 58 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,832 Dat is mental, man, I mean, I ain't never seen anything like that. 59 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,514 How do you carry that, like that or...? 60 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,277 So what if you is lets say in the kitchen and you is chopping carrots 61 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,880 with a machette or somefing cos you don't have anything and then 62 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,669 the phone ring and then it slip into your sock and you don't know and 63 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,914 then you is running to get a bus and it fall into someone's arm you know 64 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,913 a couple of times, is that legal or illegal? 65 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,560 You got a wild imagination. 66 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,880 Aii but me is finkin' about the law. Would that be legal or illegal? 67 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:53,000 I'd say that's absolutely illegal, no court is gonna believe that 68 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,560 that sequence of events was really likely to occur. 69 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:59,350 So would this be legal to carry around with you? Cos that is... 70 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,195 No, because that's designed only for one purpose. 71 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,640 Aii. For hurtin' someone. 72 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,474 I mean you couldn't convince me that you got that with you for anything legal. 73 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,719 What if you just said you got it for your pack lunch? 74 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:14,916 I'd say convince the court, Ali, cos I don't believe you. You're comin' with me. 75 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,957 Aii. Where? - Down to the station. 76 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,912 What now? - If you like... 77 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,833 What do you mean? 78 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,520 Alright, you is pretending to be in the thing, 79 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,834 I didn't understand what you was talking about. 80 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:33,792 Ok cool. What kind of excuses do a court believe with knives? 81 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,000 If it's the truth and if it's reasonable 82 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,560 then hopefully the court will believe it. 83 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,792 What I'm not going to do is give you a list of things that I would suggest 84 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,471 the court might believe because you could use that excuse 85 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,598 and it not really be true. 86 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:53,715 So has you ever come in contact with a criminal who can put in a hand 87 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,636 into someone's body and take out the heart and just... 88 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,240 Cos I know they is seen that on the films and whatever but dey say 89 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,596 that if you is really trained at Kung Fu whatever you can do that. 90 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,078 There may be somebody who can. It's news to me. 91 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,558 Aii. So what is you gonna be doin' with all dese weapons afterwards? 92 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:21,200 Well, they'll be taken to an iron foundry they will be melted down and destroyed. 93 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:25,314 So would you auction them? - No. 94 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,917 What about if it was for charity? - Not even for a charity. 95 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:33,998 Alright, fank you very much Chief Super Intendent. Big up, respect. 96 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,789 Big it up for Dj Tha4orce, when him touch dat multi-mix fader, 97 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,716 him hotter dan dat girl from Tomb Raider. Tha4orce! 98 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,519 (DJ Tha4orce answers in Patwa) 99 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:54,150 Gwan! Yu nuh 'ear? Mek us galang now. 100 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:59,951 (DJ Tha4orce answers in advanced Patwa) 101 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:17,837 tea...mek...wid...bwilin'...water... 102 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,798 (Tha4orce in Patwa) 103 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,957 No, dat ain't in it! 104 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:36,909 It's Friday night, it's channel 4, what do you expect to see... muff! 105 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:42,757 I has been gettin' a lot of complaints that this show is too high brow. 106 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,118 So I is had to cave in and allow a bit of punani. 107 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:51,760 I is well excited to introduce our guest tonight, she is a business woman, 108 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:56,751 called Anita from a hestablishment called the Body Shop 109 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:02,519 and I hear she can do amazing fings with bananas, carrots and cucumbers. 110 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,832 Switch over now, the faint hearted, turn over, Mary Lighthouse, 111 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:12,717 cos we is gonna have some genuine filth. Brothers and sisters big it up for... 112 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,435 Anita Rodlick. 113 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,791 No offence, but you look a little bit like a hippy, is you one? 114 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,640 Yeah. 115 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:43,316 Ain't it a bit hypocriticalist, bein' a hippy and sellin' soap? 116 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:48,759 No, it's the best, it's the best.. Can I.. I'm trying to sit like you. 117 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,358 Don't sit like me, der is a reason my legs is so far apart. 118 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,757 It ain't physically possible to get them any closer. 119 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,154 So let me get this right, you go out to dese third world countries 120 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:08,554 and you bring back some of deir produce. Me know a few people who do that. Aii. 121 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,513 Right, bet you do. 122 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,880 What technique do you use to get it pass customs, does you swallow it 123 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,634 in a connie or do you stick it up your batty? 124 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:25,360 No, you, that's old fashioned. You gotta look really straight, 125 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:29,600 you have your hair back in a bun, you dress with high heels, oh it's... 126 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,913 No, they'd never believe me. - No, they wouldn't believe you. 127 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,430 But it must be wicked bein' there, what, cos they is all so poor 128 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:38,835 that they would do anything for like two p. 129 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,755 You just go, ain't it: Here's two p, dance like a bear, 130 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,799 here's two p, lick me shoes. Yeah, you do that? 131 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,957 What they want which would be very happy 132 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,838 they want coffee, they want anything that's addictive. 133 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,197 Aii for real. Well, I could sort that out. 134 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,834 Now you'd be really... 135 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,399 I would go out there, rise a new untapped market. 136 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:04,512 Now you do a lot of campaigning out there to make their lives better. 137 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,320 Is dat true? - I hope... 138 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:10,075 Do you dream that one day every village will have a MacDonalds? 139 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:15,993 I would, I cannot think of anything more disgusting. 140 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,640 I is heard a terrible story that in some countries they has only 141 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:19,960 got Wimpy out there? 142 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:25,953 What is the green house effect? 143 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,960 It's the green house effect is like everything just exploding. 144 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,437 We went swimmin' in Brighton me and me mates when we was really mashed 145 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,992 and me mate Dave swallowed a bit of plop. Is that because of the green house? 146 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,950 Really no, no. That is terrible. That is terrible. 147 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,080 Anita. 148 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:48,518 However, however, don't knock faeces. 149 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,834 I've got this special perfume for you. 150 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,480 You is gonna bring out a shite. Please don't do that. 151 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,279 I don't want anyone cackin' on my show. 152 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,113 I don't care how big a business woman they is. 153 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:04,040 No no. It's always going on. It's always going on about skunk, 154 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:08,000 so I got you made sexy skunk and it has sweaty armpits, 155 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:13,232 it has leather, it has tobacco, sort of intimations of... 156 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,830 Basically it smell like me Julie. Alright. 157 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,593 I've had nuff of dat already. 158 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:22,712 So that's sexy skunk. - Would you ever sell clothes? 159 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:26,711 Yeah. - Would they be made of natural fibres? 160 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:31,830 They should be. Should be organic fibres, hemp, flax. They should be. 161 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,630 For real, cos me clothes is also made of natural fibres. - Right. 162 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:41,120 Dis is made out of an animal called a cryllic, it live in Taiwan. 163 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,715 In fact over tweny cryllics was used to make me pants. 164 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,192 Is you against animal testing? - I am, definetely. 165 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,990 Would you still be against animal testin' if it was a product for animals? 166 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:12,352 Erm. Yeah, I don't think I've a right. No, I think I would, yeah. 167 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:15,234 Now I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of 168 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:19,553 nicking some stuff from your shop. - Oh my god. 169 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:25,952 Now first up, here we go, cleansingmilk. What's this? Very nice. 170 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:32,360 Now me Julie don't believe in this bottled face cream. - She doesn't? 171 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,359 Me knock her up some fresh stuff every day. 172 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,835 It's true, it's true. I tell you. 173 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,118 I tell you it has cleared up me Julie's spots 174 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,591 on both sets of her cheeks. Would you.. 175 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,952 You're, you're absolutely, you know, you're absolutely right. 176 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:57,837 We have had submissions over the years, presumably... 177 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,515 I will give you a submission later on if you want. 178 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:05,674 We have had letters, we have had serious statements, serious letters 179 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,840 from people saying that the protein in semen actually works. 180 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,835 Would you ever consider bottling me stuff? 181 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,316 No. - It's totally natural. 182 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,959 And no animals has been harmed making it... 183 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:24,359 apart from me own beast. 184 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,359 I think I'll give that one a miss, give that one a miss. 185 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,953 Well you'd have to be pretty fast to give it a miss. 186 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,835 Big her up Anita Rodlick. Big up yourself. 187 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:57,676 Represent. 188 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:01,151 Doctors they is the most powerful people in the world. 189 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,358 They can give life they can cure disease and 190 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:09,596 they can ask to see a womans... without, without gettin' slapped. 191 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,670 But with power come responsilibity. 192 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:18,640 Dat why earlier on me had a discussion with de countries 193 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,951 top experts on medical ethics. West Side. 194 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,871 is plastic surgery a good fing? 195 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:42,679 It's a, it's a good thing when you can say you are correcting a disease. 196 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:46,675 I 'as heard this rumour, it's probably rubbish, that some girls 197 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:52,757 actually ask to get their tombolas made smaller. Is that true? 198 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,518 Well sometimes, yes, because some women have problems with their back. 199 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,915 But do you fink it can ever be morally right to have a breast reduction? 200 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,154 Well I think it can if there is a genuine problem. 201 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,720 So how do doctors decide who gets the plastic, 202 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,679 do they sit around and go she's seriously mingin, 203 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,797 she can get the plastic, or do they go 204 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:16,795 she's only a bit rough she don't need the plastic, just go and bag it? 205 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,633 You have to make your judgement from seeing the patient, 206 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,799 from listening to them, from finding out what really the problems are 207 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,793 and what possible solutions there are. 208 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,279 Wouldn't it be great if we had the technology to make sure 209 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:33,360 that everyone was black. Or is that a just a dream? 210 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,638 No you couldn't. - Well ain't that a bit racialist? 211 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,754 I think, ern, no I don't think it is. - That's a bit racialist, isn't it? 212 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,640 I think it's a bit racialist to suggest... 213 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,597 Speak to the hand cos the head ain't listening. 214 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,880 Well I think it's a bit racist to suggest that it would be 215 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,109 a good thing for everybody to be black. 216 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,112 You see your point was very interesting you said why shouldn't 217 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,591 everybody be black, but that's because you happen to be black 218 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,355 and you say I want people to be like me 219 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:57,431 Is it right to donate organs? 220 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,552 Absolutely, it's a gift culture. 221 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,799 Do you fink if you is having a heart transplant 222 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,793 it is right for you to meet the person first? 223 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,992 If you're having a heart transplant the person is dead. 224 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:13,673 Wiv transplant when does it stop being you? 225 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,320 When I say you I mean I don't mean you, 226 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:23,553 I mean like, you know, if I, if you had transplant, 227 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,799 which I don't know if you has had or if you ain't. 228 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,791 You know what I is sayin when I say you? 229 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:38,676 Alright let's change the subject a bit. Let's talk about doctors 230 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:42,356 who is ending the lives of people who is old and suffering. 231 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,877 Do you think that is right? 232 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,359 They set up a committee of the good and the great, 233 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:50,751 the house of Lords, two years they spent looking at the issue 234 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:54,959 in the end all twelve say no law for euthanasia. 235 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,278 But what has got to do with the youth in Asia? 236 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,238 I mean it ain't their fault that these people are dying, 237 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,278 they is thousands of miles away? 238 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,990 Euthanasia means mercy killing, literally means dying well, 239 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,710 we're not talking about... - Why is you blaming asian kids? 240 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,149 It's not Asian kids. 241 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,679 Do you fink it's ever right to switch off the life support machine? 242 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:19,189 Ah it can be yes because the life support machine is, er, is 243 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,990 well if you like it's what used to be described as an extrordinary means 244 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,198 of keeping somebody alive, it's not basic care. 245 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,672 So should you say you has got two weeks to get better, 246 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,992 if you don't, we is using that plug for the tele? 247 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:42,150 Check it now it time for the last ever Borat. Realise. 248 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:05,393 Dzienkuje! I come to Henley Regatta where old English gentleman 249 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:10,794 look at young muscley boy in a boat shaped as a man's chram 250 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:18,515 This is most special event of summer season, I come to find why. Jagshemash! 251 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,600 What is Henley Regatta? 252 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:27,558 It is a international regatta that was founded about 160 years ago. 253 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,430 Is there woman in club? -Yes 254 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,720 There can't be. not as members. - Oh yes. 255 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:43,800 But they are fantastic in a kitchen, in a bed, but in a sport... 256 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,918 In the sports they learn self control. 257 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,679 Yes, what you mean... 258 00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:01,071 Yes, they become very athletic, 259 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:05,519 very attractive to western men. - Yes, ah because they become strong. 260 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,792 Not so strong but lithe and flexible. 261 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:13,279 Is nice and this is beautiful badge - These are... 262 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,791 the badges given out by the various... - What does it mean this 263 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,197 That's Leander club - And there is a pig, a pig on this? 264 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,069 Yes it's a hippopotamus - What is hippopo? 265 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:26,160 Hippopotamus it's an animal in Africa that swims in the water. 266 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,680 A fish? - No 267 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,070 Like a pig but goes in the water - Pig in the water... 268 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:35,040 A Hippo. - You joke with me. This is English humour. 269 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,833 This is not English humour. This is true. - A pig in the water 270 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:41,193 A pig who drink water - Yes it swims in the water 271 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,757 Live in the water? - Not a pig, it's pig size, bigger 272 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:49,040 And will we see this pig in the water - No you won't, you'll see the boats 273 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:53,160 belonging to the club that has pigs on its badge. 274 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,914 Yes, yes, they have a pig on, in the boat 275 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,549 They have a little symbol on the boat of the pig. 276 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:03,440 Theres... And why do they carry the pig in the boat? 277 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,239 They don't carry, they carry the symbol of it 278 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,353 you know a little picture like, like your badge. - Yes 279 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:13,992 Why do they show a picture of a pig on a boat? - Because that's their symbol. 280 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,959 I don't know why. - Why they chose a pig 281 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:21,120 because in Kazakhstan we say a pig is a dirty animal. 282 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,312 You see it's not actually a pig it's a hippo, but... 283 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:31,436 Hello. - Hi. 284 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,360 Hello, Congratulations - Thank you. 285 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:46,359 Congratulations - Thank you. 286 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,278 Congratulations - Thank you. 287 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,798 We here have English tea. - That's right, yes. 288 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:03,157 We've had our sandwiches. - How many times have you been to England? 289 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,596 This is my first time. - Oh right. And are you enjoying it? 290 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:12,280 Is beautiful, everyone say that it rain down like, how, you say.. 291 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,394 Cats and dogs? -... piss. - No, we don't say that. 292 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,674 You have wonderful moustache. 293 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,834 I've had that for a very long time. 294 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,240 Mine is nothing compared to your... - No, it just takes time. 295 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,312 Your moustache is beautiful. I am very jealous. 296 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,679 Well I appreciate you saying that. - Thank you. 297 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:36,191 May I ask you are a man who does with another man? 298 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,759 No. Definetely not. 299 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:48,073 It's a very big national race between these two local rivals. 300 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,031 You back 'Bucks' and I'll back 'Berks' right? 301 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,791 I back backs. - And I back Berks 302 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,799 You back 'Berks'. - 'Come on Berks' you say, 'come on Bucks'. 303 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,270 - Come on Bucks - Come on Berks 304 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,040 Come on the Bucks! Come on the Bucks! 305 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,357 There they are look, yes there they are corning down there now. 306 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,358 Motherf......hmmm. Move.. Bucks! 307 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,996 Move the Berks. - Motherfuck! 308 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,597 Come on the fucking Bucks! 309 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,718 You can't say that. - Why not? 310 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,160 It's a swear word. 311 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:20,192 So I have learnt lot about Henley, I have had best day of my life. 312 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:21,795 Jagshemash. 313 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:30,839 Selector. Parents if your teenage kids is suddenly lost a lot a weight, 314 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:34,596 is lookin very pasty, 'avin mood swings and is spending 315 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:38,680 alota der time locked in der rooms then they is almost certainly 316 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:44,598 into Indie music. In me final bid to sort out dis evil 317 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,872 me is invited on a man who has got it worse dan most. 318 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,591 Take one look at him and see how bad the effects can be. 319 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:55,430 You will be scared 'cos it's Jarvis Cocker. 320 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:14,676 De show ain't finished yet, de cleaners come on after we is finished, 321 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:19,594 We is we is waitin for a big pop star... Can you piss off please? 322 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,672 It's me. 323 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:25,797 Cumofit! U look like a kiddy-fiddler. 324 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:34,640 Now I first heard of you at the Brit awards, when you went on stage and 325 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:40,398 tried to bum Michael Jackson. Why, why did you do dat? 326 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,597 That's not quite what happened. 327 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,994 But no matter how into his music you is you should never 328 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:53,799 actually try and bum him. 329 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,640 Would you like it if someone came up to you now while you was on stage... 330 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,792 and tried to bum you here? ..... Actually, don't answer dat 331 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:06,959 Now your new album is called 'dis is hardcore'. Me bought it, 332 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:12,877 invited round a couple of me mates, and trust me it ain't hardcore. 333 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:17,793 They got well eggy. Me, had to stick on Shaving Private Ryan instead. 334 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,479 Sorry. 335 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:26,038 So Jarvis, which track would you like me to help you out wiv today? 336 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,352 Well I thought we could do a song called 'Help the Aged'. 337 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:34,795 Aii for real. The man, none other than Jarvis big up lets take it to da fing. 338 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:42,798 Big it up for Jarvis Cocker in de house. Bo! 339 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:55,680 Help the Aged! One day they were just like you. 340 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:04,117 Drinking, smoking cigs and sniffing glue. 341 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:08,799 Help the aged - Help de motherfucking aged! 342 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:14,790 Don't just put them in a home - Don't put them in a mo fo home! 343 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,799 Can't have much fun in there all on their own 344 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:38,560 Me Nan is 63 her name be Sheila. She always on de phone 345 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:41,598 to her motherfucking dealer She rock de ghetto style 346 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:45,350 she always wear fila She still get jiggy in her boyfriend's threewheeler 347 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,840 I said OAP - Yeah you know me 348 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,479 Me said OAP - Yeh you know me 349 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,160 Me Nan cant live on her little pension she smoke de herb 350 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,880 just to ease de tension She got a leak 351 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:08,796 in a place I won't mention De NHS call it water retension 352 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:14,680 bim bimma who stole me nan's zimma bim bimma who stole me nan's zimma 353 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:20,472 bim bimma who stole me nan's zimma it don't matter she free stone slimma 354 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,791 Help the Aged - West Side in de House! 355 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:28,839 Coz one day they were just like you - Keep off the crack, keep off the crack 356 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,519 Help the Aged - Respect your nan! 357 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:37,791 Coz one day you'll be older too 358 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,311 Shake your batty boy shake your batty shake your batty 359 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,795 Help the Aged - Jarvis! 360 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,515 The famous batty! Shakin the batty! 361 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:52,270 Help the Aged - Help yourself! 362 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,593 Help the Aged 363 00:27:55,840 --> 00:28:02,792 Jarvis, big im up. Me wanna big up everyone, 364 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:08,399 all me guests tonight, Jarvis, me dancers, Tha4orce, me audience, 365 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,040 and everyone in the country for keepin it real! 366 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:17,195 Me said Bo Selector. Aii. 367 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,674 It's da end of me series and me wanna leave you wiv one final fought. 368 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:33,349 Der is millions of different types of people out der but it is important 369 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,672 never to forget where you come from 370 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:43,872 becoz black, white, brown or pakistani we all come from de same place: 371 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:49,671 de punani. Dat where me come from, 372 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:53,550 ...an dat is de place me like to visit as often as me can 373 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,997 Jah bless and keep it real.