1 00:02:19,517 --> 00:02:21,285 - Hey Mrs. Stevens. 2 00:02:21,319 --> 00:02:23,554 - Oh, it's Miss Stevens this weekend. 3 00:02:23,587 --> 00:02:25,790 My husband won't be back till Monday, 4 00:02:25,823 --> 00:02:28,559 and I really do hate being alone. 5 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,602 Do me a favor honey, and help me get some of this lotion 6 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:41,072 on my hard to reach places. 7 00:03:02,259 --> 00:03:05,529 Fucking pussy. 8 00:03:18,776 --> 00:03:21,645 Oh, honey, I hope you didn't waste your time freshening up 9 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:24,582 'cause you're about to get filthy. 10 00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:41,485 - That's fine if you wanna have your friends over 11 00:05:41,519 --> 00:05:43,454 while we're gone for a pool party dear. 12 00:05:43,487 --> 00:05:45,523 Just, try not to get pregnant. 13 00:05:45,556 --> 00:05:46,690 - Seriously dad? 14 00:05:46,724 --> 00:05:49,226 You are so dumb. 15 00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:51,629 - Blair, don't talk to your father like that. 16 00:05:51,662 --> 00:05:53,364 If it wasn't for him 17 00:05:53,397 --> 00:05:54,798 you couldn't just waste your life away 18 00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:57,434 drinking by the pool now could you? 19 00:05:57,468 --> 00:05:58,769 - Mom, what the fuck? 20 00:05:58,802 --> 00:06:01,639 - Oh, I'm just kidding. 21 00:06:01,672 --> 00:06:04,341 I mean, it's probably our fault anyway. 22 00:06:04,375 --> 00:06:07,344 Although we also raised your brother Blaine 23 00:06:07,378 --> 00:06:09,713 and he turned out just fine. 24 00:06:09,747 --> 00:06:12,283 In fact he found someone nice to marry 25 00:06:12,316 --> 00:06:14,351 and give us grandchildren. 26 00:06:14,385 --> 00:06:16,754 Why can't you be more like your brother Blair? 27 00:06:16,787 --> 00:06:19,456 We could use more grandchildren. 28 00:06:20,691 --> 00:06:22,660 Or at least be more like Nancy, 29 00:06:22,693 --> 00:06:26,764 she's always been so polite and responsible. 30 00:06:26,797 --> 00:06:29,733 - Okay, okay, we're gonna miss our plane if we sit here 31 00:06:29,767 --> 00:06:32,803 and talk about how much more we love Nancy than you. 32 00:06:32,836 --> 00:06:34,738 - I seriously hate both of you right now. 33 00:06:34,772 --> 00:06:36,707 Can you just go before my friends show up? 34 00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:39,276 I'm completely embarrassed to be related to you. 35 00:06:39,310 --> 00:06:42,379 - Just remember, no hard drugs, no threesomes 36 00:06:42,413 --> 00:06:46,417 and nobodies allowed in our bedroom except for Darla. 37 00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:48,786 - Well darling, let's not be total Nazi's. 38 00:06:48,819 --> 00:06:51,755 I mean if it weren't for threesomes, 39 00:06:51,789 --> 00:06:53,724 we never would have met. 40 00:06:53,757 --> 00:06:54,391 - Gross. 41 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:57,761 - You're so right honey buns. 42 00:06:57,795 --> 00:06:59,964 I am trying not to sound like my father. 43 00:06:59,997 --> 00:07:01,932 Threesomes are okay 44 00:07:01,966 --> 00:07:05,035 as long as it's not the devil's three-way, 45 00:07:05,069 --> 00:07:06,904 if you know what I mean? 46 00:07:06,937 --> 00:07:07,771 - What? 47 00:07:09,106 --> 00:07:10,374 Just go. 48 00:07:10,407 --> 00:07:11,475 God, just go. 49 00:07:12,743 --> 00:07:13,844 Go. 50 00:07:13,877 --> 00:07:16,313 - Don't forget, feed Darla 51 00:07:16,347 --> 00:07:18,749 and don't let her walk outside on the pavement, 52 00:07:18,782 --> 00:07:20,751 it's much too hot for her little feeties. 53 00:07:22,486 --> 00:07:25,889 - Stop making those horrible faces. 54 00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,958 It's gonna give you more wrinkles. 55 00:07:27,992 --> 00:07:31,562 Nancy, we're so glad you're back in town this weekend. 56 00:07:31,595 --> 00:07:32,830 - Oh. 57 00:07:32,863 --> 00:07:33,764 - I wish we would have known sooner, 58 00:07:33,797 --> 00:07:35,099 we would have canceled our trip 59 00:07:35,132 --> 00:07:36,734 so we could spend more time with you. 60 00:07:36,767 --> 00:07:39,603 - Oh that's completely unnecessary Miss Winthorpe, 61 00:07:39,637 --> 00:07:41,372 I'm just here, a last minute thing 62 00:07:41,405 --> 00:07:43,407 to take a little break from grad school. 63 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:47,544 - Well, you are the only friend Blair's ever had 64 00:07:47,578 --> 00:07:49,113 that we really liked. 65 00:07:49,146 --> 00:07:51,081 In fact, knowing your here with her 66 00:07:51,115 --> 00:07:53,717 is the only reason we're not making Blaine come down 67 00:07:53,751 --> 00:07:54,985 to watch the house. 68 00:07:55,019 --> 00:07:56,754 - I am right here mom, 69 00:07:56,787 --> 00:07:58,822 I can actually hear what you're saying. 70 00:07:58,856 --> 00:08:00,924 - Try not to let her do anything stupid, 71 00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,493 but if she does find a way, 72 00:08:02,526 --> 00:08:04,628 just don't let her drag you down with her. 73 00:08:04,662 --> 00:08:05,963 You're better than that. 74 00:08:05,996 --> 00:08:07,064 - I'll do my best. 75 00:08:07,097 --> 00:08:09,433 - I love you too mom. 76 00:08:09,466 --> 00:08:10,100 - Mwah. 77 00:08:14,672 --> 00:08:15,639 - Have fun. 78 00:08:15,673 --> 00:08:17,675 Woah! 79 00:08:27,117 --> 00:08:28,585 - Good morning. 80 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,488 - Creep. 81 00:08:31,522 --> 00:08:32,423 - Blair. 82 00:08:32,456 --> 00:08:33,157 - What? 83 00:08:33,190 --> 00:08:34,091 That guy has always been creepy. 84 00:08:34,124 --> 00:08:36,593 I know he's a serial killer. 85 00:08:38,796 --> 00:08:39,596 - You don't know that. 86 00:08:39,630 --> 00:08:41,765 - Who cares about creepy old guy? 87 00:08:41,799 --> 00:08:43,434 I'm just glad that my parents are finally gone, 88 00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:45,703 I hope their plane crashes. 89 00:08:45,736 --> 00:08:47,838 - Shut up, I can't believe you just said that. 90 00:08:47,871 --> 00:08:50,407 You probably have the coolest parents ever. 91 00:08:50,441 --> 00:08:52,876 Why do you think I spent so much time here growing up? 92 00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:54,011 - Um, because your family was poor 93 00:08:54,044 --> 00:08:56,647 and didn't even have cable TV. 94 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,048 - Um, ouch. 95 00:08:58,082 --> 00:08:59,483 I was over here so much 96 00:08:59,516 --> 00:09:00,984 because my parents weren't ever around. 97 00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:02,920 Your parents actually paid attention to us. 98 00:09:02,953 --> 00:09:03,954 I love your parents. 99 00:09:03,987 --> 00:09:04,988 - Whatever. 100 00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:06,523 You can have them. 101 00:09:12,129 --> 00:09:14,965 - Oh my god, is that your brother? 102 00:09:14,998 --> 00:09:16,900 Oh yeah, that's what he grew up to look like. 103 00:09:16,934 --> 00:09:19,703 Oh my god, look at that beard. 104 00:09:19,737 --> 00:09:21,205 - I know it's, so stupid. 105 00:09:21,238 --> 00:09:23,774 - He used to look so normal. 106 00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:29,012 And yet he's the one your parents are more proud of. 107 00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:30,881 I guess it says a lot about you. 108 00:09:30,914 --> 00:09:32,015 - Go to hell. 109 00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:34,952 - And this photo, 110 00:09:34,985 --> 00:09:37,554 I can't believe you let your parents hang this. 111 00:09:37,588 --> 00:09:38,222 - Screw you. 112 00:09:38,255 --> 00:09:39,690 I was a cute kid. 113 00:09:39,723 --> 00:09:41,825 Have you seen your childhood photos? 114 00:09:41,859 --> 00:09:44,762 I seem to recall a world record setting uni-brow. 115 00:09:44,795 --> 00:09:47,197 - Um, my uni-brow never actually won anything, 116 00:09:47,231 --> 00:09:50,134 it was disqualified for substance abuse. 117 00:09:50,167 --> 00:09:51,869 - You're so weird. 118 00:09:53,036 --> 00:09:55,906 - Maybe, but that uni-brow was fierce. 119 00:09:55,939 --> 00:09:57,808 I might actually grow it back. 120 00:09:57,841 --> 00:09:59,676 - Oh, you do that. 121 00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:01,245 I'm gonna go put this dumb dog in my parents room 122 00:10:01,278 --> 00:10:04,114 and I'll meet you out at the pool. 123 00:10:16,727 --> 00:10:19,596 What now? 124 00:10:24,635 --> 00:10:26,870 What the hell are you doing here? 125 00:10:26,904 --> 00:10:28,005 - Oh, judging by your tone, 126 00:10:28,038 --> 00:10:30,040 I don't suppose you'll be trying to make out with me 127 00:10:30,073 --> 00:10:31,975 in the tool shed like you did last time I was here. 128 00:10:32,009 --> 00:10:34,011 Ew, you wish. 129 00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:35,646 I was like 15 back then 130 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:38,515 and you pretty much forced yourself on me. 131 00:10:38,549 --> 00:10:40,984 - Oh well, that story certainly worked to your benefit 132 00:10:41,018 --> 00:10:42,186 back then didn't it? 133 00:10:42,219 --> 00:10:43,921 - Did you think I would actually fall 134 00:10:43,954 --> 00:10:47,724 for the dirty white trash kid that mowed our lawn? 135 00:10:47,758 --> 00:10:50,561 - No, I know you were just using me to piss off your dad. 136 00:10:50,594 --> 00:10:51,929 And that's why I stopped you. 137 00:10:51,962 --> 00:10:54,031 Your dad was awesome and I wasn't gonna mess that up 138 00:10:54,064 --> 00:10:56,533 just so you could get a pony for Christmas. 139 00:10:56,567 --> 00:11:00,037 - If I remember correctly, my dad fired you. 140 00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:03,640 Which means you are no longer welcome here. 141 00:11:04,842 --> 00:11:07,144 - Yeah he did, but only because you lied to him 142 00:11:07,177 --> 00:11:09,746 and told him I forced myself on you. 143 00:11:09,780 --> 00:11:11,114 I assume you left out the part 144 00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:13,617 where you begged me to take your virginity. 145 00:11:13,650 --> 00:11:15,552 - What the, no. 146 00:11:15,586 --> 00:11:16,954 How dare you think that 147 00:11:16,987 --> 00:11:19,223 I would want you to take my virginity. 148 00:11:21,124 --> 00:11:22,926 - Look, that was a long time ago. 149 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,196 Even though you pretty much ruined my teenage years, 150 00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:27,698 I'm over it. 151 00:11:27,731 --> 00:11:28,999 You should be too. 152 00:11:29,032 --> 00:11:30,567 We're both adults right. 153 00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:31,568 - Hmm. 154 00:11:31,602 --> 00:11:33,136 - My mom said Nancy was in town 155 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,005 and I figured she'd be here. 156 00:11:35,038 --> 00:11:36,607 I haven't seen my sister in over a year. 157 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:37,241 - Why? 158 00:11:37,274 --> 00:11:38,976 Where you in jail? 159 00:11:39,009 --> 00:11:40,143 - I'm more than willing to put this shit behind me. 160 00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:42,012 Play nice, even be friends, 161 00:11:42,045 --> 00:11:44,982 just so I can hang out with my sister. 162 00:11:45,015 --> 00:11:46,083 So is she here? 163 00:11:46,116 --> 00:11:47,351 - Step-sister. 164 00:11:47,384 --> 00:11:49,119 And no, I haven't seen her. 165 00:11:49,152 --> 00:11:51,321 Sorry, so I guess you'll just have to go back to 166 00:11:51,355 --> 00:11:53,991 your double wide and drink yourself to death 167 00:11:54,024 --> 00:11:56,026 like your daddy did. 168 00:11:56,059 --> 00:11:58,695 - What the fuck did you just say? 169 00:11:58,729 --> 00:12:00,097 Stuck up little bitch. 170 00:12:00,130 --> 00:12:01,798 You think you're so special 171 00:12:01,832 --> 00:12:04,134 'cause you live in this big, stupid house. 172 00:12:04,167 --> 00:12:06,069 The world would be a better place 173 00:12:06,103 --> 00:12:08,906 without you and all your perfect little friends. 174 00:12:08,939 --> 00:12:10,073 This isn't over. 175 00:12:15,312 --> 00:12:18,815 - Your degenerate brother just stopped by. 176 00:12:18,849 --> 00:12:19,983 - What? 177 00:12:20,017 --> 00:12:20,951 Where is he? 178 00:12:20,984 --> 00:12:21,919 - You don't actually think I would let that 179 00:12:21,952 --> 00:12:25,022 dirty trailer trash back into my house do you? 180 00:12:25,055 --> 00:12:26,290 - Blair. 181 00:12:26,323 --> 00:12:27,991 - What? 182 00:12:28,025 --> 00:12:28,992 I can't trust him around all of these expensive things. 183 00:12:29,026 --> 00:12:29,860 It would be irresponsible 184 00:12:29,893 --> 00:12:32,162 for me to put him in that position. 185 00:12:32,195 --> 00:12:34,798 - He's not a criminal Blair, he's a chef. 186 00:12:34,831 --> 00:12:36,166 - Oh sure, take his side. 187 00:12:36,199 --> 00:12:39,369 I don't understand what you see in him anyways. 188 00:12:39,403 --> 00:12:42,139 - He's my brother Blair, that's what I see in him. 189 00:12:42,172 --> 00:12:45,709 And yes, I'll always be on his side, no matter what. 190 00:12:45,742 --> 00:12:47,945 - Um, he's your step-brother 191 00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:50,981 and I'm pretty sure that's called the Stockholm situation. 192 00:12:51,014 --> 00:12:53,350 - It's called family you ding-dong. 193 00:12:53,383 --> 00:12:55,285 - Oh wow, good for you. 194 00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:59,189 Look how far your family have gotten you. 195 00:12:59,222 --> 00:13:01,158 - You're a piece of work, you know that Blair. 196 00:13:01,191 --> 00:13:03,427 I mean you should be kissing my brothers ass 197 00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:05,729 after what you did to him back in high school. 198 00:13:05,762 --> 00:13:07,097 - Was it that supposed to mean? 199 00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:08,365 - You know what it means. 200 00:13:08,398 --> 00:13:10,233 Don't tell me that you're so self-centered 201 00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:12,803 you could forget about ruining someone's life. 202 00:13:12,836 --> 00:13:14,104 - Oh, please. 203 00:13:14,137 --> 00:13:16,073 He is the one that went after me. 204 00:13:16,106 --> 00:13:17,374 He is lucky that my dad didn't press charges 205 00:13:17,407 --> 00:13:19,276 and have him arrested. 206 00:13:19,309 --> 00:13:21,011 - Really? 207 00:13:21,044 --> 00:13:22,913 You've been telling yourself that BS version for so long 208 00:13:22,946 --> 00:13:25,148 you actually started to believe it's true. 209 00:13:25,182 --> 00:13:26,083 - It is true. 210 00:13:26,116 --> 00:13:28,218 I was the victim, how dare you. 211 00:13:28,251 --> 00:13:31,254 - And you certainly made a perfect little victim didn't you. 212 00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:33,357 But what you forget is I was actually there. 213 00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:35,125 I know exactly what happened. 214 00:13:35,158 --> 00:13:36,860 - Oh you do? 215 00:13:36,893 --> 00:13:38,795 - Yeah, I do. 216 00:13:38,829 --> 00:13:40,130 You wanted to get back at your father 217 00:13:40,163 --> 00:13:42,032 like a spoiled little brat. 218 00:13:42,065 --> 00:13:43,266 And when Danny rejected you 219 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,235 you found a way to get back at them both. 220 00:13:45,268 --> 00:13:46,403 So you invented that little story 221 00:13:46,436 --> 00:13:48,972 about him trying to make out with you in the pool shed. 222 00:13:49,006 --> 00:13:51,308 - But he did try to make out with me in the pool shed. 223 00:13:51,341 --> 00:13:53,477 - No, you lied to your father. 224 00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:55,178 You got Danny fired. 225 00:13:55,212 --> 00:13:56,780 And I don't even want to imagine 226 00:13:56,813 --> 00:13:59,016 the beating he got from our father because of it. 227 00:13:59,049 --> 00:14:00,217 I forgave you back then 228 00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:03,854 because I wanted so badly to sit at the cool girls table. 229 00:14:03,887 --> 00:14:05,956 Look how far that got me. 230 00:14:05,989 --> 00:14:07,190 - Hmm. 231 00:14:07,224 --> 00:14:10,027 - I'm gonna go call my brother. 232 00:14:16,933 --> 00:14:17,934 - Oh my god. 233 00:14:19,202 --> 00:14:20,871 There is no way 234 00:14:20,904 --> 00:14:24,841 I'm wearing this disgusting romper when they get here. 235 00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,233 This won't ever work. 236 00:14:50,267 --> 00:14:51,902 Um. 237 00:15:26,470 --> 00:15:28,371 Who the fuck would wear that? 238 00:15:33,577 --> 00:15:34,945 What? 239 00:15:34,978 --> 00:15:37,514 Why don't I own anything that works? 240 00:15:38,849 --> 00:15:40,183 This might work. 241 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:44,554 Uh. 242 00:15:49,392 --> 00:15:50,827 This is killer. 243 00:16:01,338 --> 00:16:02,372 Hello? 244 00:16:03,273 --> 00:16:05,041 Who is that? 245 00:16:05,075 --> 00:16:05,909 Hello? 246 00:16:08,912 --> 00:16:09,913 Who is that? 247 00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:22,159 Where'd you go now pervert? 248 00:16:55,325 --> 00:16:57,060 God, what are you doing? 249 00:16:57,093 --> 00:16:58,461 - What is wrong with you now? 250 00:16:58,495 --> 00:16:59,462 - Screw you. 251 00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:01,097 Somebody's fucking with me and if it's not you, 252 00:17:01,131 --> 00:17:03,066 it's probably your piece of shit brother. 253 00:17:03,099 --> 00:17:04,234 - Unbelievable. 254 00:17:04,267 --> 00:17:06,203 Okay, can we leave my brother out of the conversation 255 00:17:06,236 --> 00:17:07,671 for the rest of the day. 256 00:17:07,704 --> 00:17:10,340 Besides, practical jokes aren't really his style. 257 00:17:10,373 --> 00:17:12,442 Now if you said somebody was trying to kill you, 258 00:17:12,475 --> 00:17:14,511 then I'd consider Danny a suspect. 259 00:17:14,544 --> 00:17:15,979 - Bitch. 260 00:17:16,012 --> 00:17:18,582 Well, whoever it is, they're about to get 261 00:17:18,615 --> 00:17:22,319 a $500 bottle of Dom shoved up their ass. 262 00:17:22,352 --> 00:17:24,054 - Well then you better wish it's not my brother, 263 00:17:24,087 --> 00:17:25,555 because he'd consider that flirting. 264 00:17:25,589 --> 00:17:28,158 Your whole family is disgusting. 265 00:17:28,191 --> 00:17:29,526 - Uh, thank you. 266 00:17:43,506 --> 00:17:44,341 - Shh. 267 00:17:45,408 --> 00:17:48,111 I thought I heard something. 268 00:17:58,655 --> 00:18:00,390 Stupid bitch! 269 00:18:00,423 --> 00:18:02,259 You scared the shit out of me. 270 00:18:02,292 --> 00:18:04,261 That wasn't funny at all. 271 00:18:04,294 --> 00:18:07,063 - Screw you bitch, maybe if you didn't lock the front door 272 00:18:07,097 --> 00:18:08,965 we wouldn't have to sneak through the garage 273 00:18:08,999 --> 00:18:11,134 like the goddamn housekeeper. 274 00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:12,402 I need a drink. 275 00:18:25,348 --> 00:18:28,084 - Does anybody know how to make a Mojito? 276 00:18:28,118 --> 00:18:31,421 - Do I look like I would know how to make a fucking Mojito? 277 00:18:31,454 --> 00:18:33,356 - I'm not even Italian. 278 00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:35,292 - What about a Miami Vice? 279 00:18:35,325 --> 00:18:37,327 - No, I'm not a fucking bartender. 280 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,096 - Doesn't your dad like own bars or something? 281 00:18:40,130 --> 00:18:42,299 - Yeah, like 20 of them. 282 00:18:42,332 --> 00:18:46,569 That's why we have people make the drinks for us. 283 00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:49,539 - You're on your phone, you google it. 284 00:18:49,572 --> 00:18:52,142 - I'm in the middle of something, you google it. 285 00:18:53,310 --> 00:18:55,512 - Why don't you go grab a few bottles of champagne. 286 00:18:55,545 --> 00:18:58,748 Blair, I assume my dad pays your dad enough money 287 00:18:58,782 --> 00:19:01,084 to afford the good stuff? 288 00:19:02,686 --> 00:19:05,789 - Nancy, be a doll and go grab a couple bottles of champagne 289 00:19:05,822 --> 00:19:08,458 from the wine chiller and then meet us out by the pool. 290 00:19:08,491 --> 00:19:11,294 - Um, how about I say hi first. 291 00:19:12,362 --> 00:19:13,196 - Um, hi. 292 00:19:18,501 --> 00:19:20,737 - Are we supposed to know who you are or something? 293 00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:24,674 Did you work for one of our houses before you came here? 294 00:19:24,708 --> 00:19:26,443 - I don't work here. 295 00:19:26,476 --> 00:19:27,677 I'm Nancy. 296 00:19:27,711 --> 00:19:28,545 - Nancy. 297 00:19:29,779 --> 00:19:32,449 - We went to high school together. 298 00:19:32,482 --> 00:19:35,518 - Sorry, doesn't ring a bell. 299 00:19:35,552 --> 00:19:38,254 - I sat next to you in Economics. 300 00:19:38,288 --> 00:19:40,290 You copied off my tests. 301 00:19:41,358 --> 00:19:42,559 Seriously? 302 00:19:42,592 --> 00:19:44,561 - Can you just go grab the champagne. 303 00:19:44,594 --> 00:19:47,497 - Well of course Miss Blair, I'll get right on it. 304 00:19:47,530 --> 00:19:49,632 It was great catching up with you guys. 305 00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:50,467 - Thank you. 306 00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:51,668 - Bye. 307 00:19:51,701 --> 00:19:53,403 - Everything you need is behind the bar. 308 00:19:53,436 --> 00:19:56,473 Don't forget to put it on ice, meet you by the pool. 309 00:19:56,506 --> 00:19:58,308 Alright let's go. 310 00:19:58,341 --> 00:19:59,175 Ladies. 311 00:20:05,415 --> 00:20:07,650 Oh, let me put on some music. 312 00:20:25,135 --> 00:20:26,336 - Much better. 313 00:21:27,931 --> 00:21:30,600 - Please tell me this pool is saline. 314 00:21:30,633 --> 00:21:32,569 My skin cannot handle chlorine. 315 00:21:32,602 --> 00:21:34,604 - I just hope it's fucking heated 316 00:21:34,637 --> 00:21:36,940 or I'm not getting in at all. 317 00:21:36,973 --> 00:21:38,708 - The pool is heated. 318 00:21:38,741 --> 00:21:41,678 It's not chlorine and champagne is on the way. 319 00:21:41,711 --> 00:21:44,914 So stop your bitching and start relaxing. 320 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:52,388 - What a psycho. 321 00:21:52,422 --> 00:21:53,756 - Who? 322 00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:56,392 - Drew he keeps texting me, like non stop. 323 00:21:56,426 --> 00:21:57,794 - What's his problem? 324 00:21:57,827 --> 00:22:00,296 - I told him I was going to the spa today with my mom 325 00:22:00,330 --> 00:22:01,464 so he wouldn't bug me. 326 00:22:01,498 --> 00:22:03,633 But apparently my mom just posted a picture of herself 327 00:22:03,666 --> 00:22:05,735 eating lunch with Dwayne Newton. 328 00:22:05,768 --> 00:22:06,870 - Who? 329 00:22:06,903 --> 00:22:09,439 - I don't know, but now he's pissed and freaking out 330 00:22:09,472 --> 00:22:11,474 and he thinks that I'm cheating on him. 331 00:22:11,508 --> 00:22:12,609 - Who cares? 332 00:22:12,642 --> 00:22:13,810 He's not even that hot. 333 00:22:13,843 --> 00:22:15,845 He's totally got a dad vibe. 334 00:22:15,879 --> 00:22:17,780 - Yeah, just get over it. 335 00:22:17,814 --> 00:22:19,616 He looks like a homeless man. 336 00:22:19,649 --> 00:22:22,752 - And didn't you say he likes toys or something, 337 00:22:22,785 --> 00:22:26,456 such a creep and a total fucking loser. 338 00:22:26,489 --> 00:22:27,790 - Yeah, such a loser. 339 00:22:27,824 --> 00:22:29,993 - But, you probably can't do better anyways, 340 00:22:30,026 --> 00:22:32,795 so you should just stay with him. 341 00:22:32,829 --> 00:22:33,696 - Bitch. 342 00:22:33,730 --> 00:22:35,765 - He does totally worship you though. 343 00:22:35,798 --> 00:22:38,601 - Plus, he parents do own half of Maui 344 00:22:38,635 --> 00:22:41,237 so you should think about that. 345 00:22:43,373 --> 00:22:44,741 - Aren't you supposed to be friends? 346 00:22:44,774 --> 00:22:46,609 Like aren't you supposed to tell me how pretty I am 347 00:22:46,643 --> 00:22:48,845 and how much I don't need a man in my life? 348 00:22:48,878 --> 00:22:51,447 - This isn't a movie, so no. 349 00:22:51,481 --> 00:22:52,649 You're not getting any younger 350 00:22:52,682 --> 00:22:57,453 and the only job you truly qualify for is being a hooker. 351 00:22:57,487 --> 00:23:02,025 So get those lips around that rich dick and hold on tight. 352 00:23:02,058 --> 00:23:02,692 - Damn. 353 00:23:05,295 --> 00:23:07,864 - Oh my god, you guys are right. 354 00:23:07,897 --> 00:23:11,534 I don't wanna end up old and desperate like her mom. 355 00:23:11,568 --> 00:23:14,571 I better go and call him right away. 356 00:23:27,617 --> 00:23:29,719 - What's her problem? 357 00:23:29,752 --> 00:23:32,422 - Sugar daddy issues, but who cares about her anyways? 358 00:23:32,455 --> 00:23:33,856 Let's just drink. 359 00:23:37,627 --> 00:23:40,530 - Come on Drew, answer the phone. 360 00:23:40,563 --> 00:23:44,300 Hey sweetie, I'm so sorry I missed all your text messages. 361 00:23:44,334 --> 00:23:49,339 You know, my mom canceled so I went to the spa with Blair. 362 00:23:50,006 --> 00:23:51,407 I know how you hate girl drama, 363 00:23:51,441 --> 00:23:52,976 you know, you're such a busy guy and all. 364 00:23:53,009 --> 00:23:54,777 You know what, I promise I'll make it up to you 365 00:23:54,811 --> 00:23:56,312 the next time I see you. 366 00:23:56,346 --> 00:23:57,914 Alright sweetie, I love you. 367 00:23:57,947 --> 00:23:59,082 Bye. 368 00:23:59,115 --> 00:24:00,383 Mwah. 369 00:24:27,143 --> 00:24:27,944 - Pool party bitches. 370 00:25:04,881 --> 00:25:06,916 - She's still on the phone. 371 00:25:06,949 --> 00:25:08,151 - Of course she is, 372 00:25:08,184 --> 00:25:11,888 she's on the phone with her stupid boyfriend 373 00:25:11,921 --> 00:25:14,524 and we may never see her again. 374 00:25:19,429 --> 00:25:23,666 - Hey Blair, I hope you don't mind but I invited Troy over. 375 00:25:23,700 --> 00:25:25,935 - Wait, I thought this was a girls day? 376 00:25:25,968 --> 00:25:27,737 Blair, you said no boys allowed. 377 00:25:27,770 --> 00:25:29,872 - Yeah, I did say no boys allowed. 378 00:25:29,906 --> 00:25:31,841 And I fucking meant it. 379 00:25:31,874 --> 00:25:35,178 Text that prick right now and tell him he can't come. 380 00:25:35,211 --> 00:25:38,748 - Oh, you're not still mad that I stole him from you 381 00:25:38,781 --> 00:25:40,783 back in the eighth grade are you? 382 00:25:40,817 --> 00:25:42,852 We weren't even friends then. 383 00:25:42,885 --> 00:25:44,854 Besides, you were still a virgin 384 00:25:44,887 --> 00:25:47,924 and guys like Troy need someone who will, 385 00:25:47,957 --> 00:25:51,127 you know, satisfy their needs a little bit. 386 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,763 - Oh, I've heard you satisfying his needs before 387 00:25:53,796 --> 00:25:55,865 it sounds more like torture porn to me. 388 00:25:55,898 --> 00:25:58,768 - No, I am not still mad about that. 389 00:25:58,801 --> 00:26:01,104 I never liked him, he's a complete perv. 390 00:26:01,137 --> 00:26:05,208 Which is the real reason why I don't want him at my house. 391 00:26:05,241 --> 00:26:08,211 But we also all agreed, no boys. 392 00:26:08,244 --> 00:26:11,047 - Take the stick out of your ass for a second. 393 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,782 His parents are home all weekend 394 00:26:12,815 --> 00:26:15,017 and my parents don't know that we're back together. 395 00:26:15,051 --> 00:26:20,056 So, we need your house to spend some quality time together. 396 00:26:20,923 --> 00:26:22,558 - You mean like torture porn. 397 00:26:22,592 --> 00:26:24,861 - Well I guess you'll have to watch to find out. 398 00:26:24,894 --> 00:26:28,197 - Look, I don't give a shit what freaky stuff you guys do 399 00:26:28,231 --> 00:26:31,801 in your own homes, but there is no goddamn way 400 00:26:31,834 --> 00:26:35,037 you and Troy are gonna do it in my house. 401 00:26:38,274 --> 00:26:40,943 - You bitches talking about me. 402 00:26:40,977 --> 00:26:43,079 - Hey baby, I missed you. 403 00:26:46,115 --> 00:26:49,952 - So, what is it that we're not doing at Blair's house? 404 00:26:49,986 --> 00:26:50,887 - Everything. 405 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,054 I mean, anything. 406 00:26:52,088 --> 00:26:53,923 You aren't even supposed to be here today. 407 00:26:53,956 --> 00:26:55,158 - You're so rude. 408 00:26:55,191 --> 00:26:56,993 - I don't care if it is, he was never invited, 409 00:26:57,026 --> 00:27:00,730 he's not supposed to be here and nobody wants him here. 410 00:27:00,763 --> 00:27:02,732 - Well I'm pretty sure that's not true. 411 00:27:02,765 --> 00:27:05,234 This chick hasn't taken her eyes off me since I got here. 412 00:27:05,268 --> 00:27:07,603 And I haven't even taken off my shirt yet. 413 00:27:07,637 --> 00:27:08,704 - Go home Troy. 414 00:27:08,738 --> 00:27:12,208 - Don't worry about her baby, she's just jealous. 415 00:27:12,241 --> 00:27:17,246 - Not it's alright, I guess I'll not ruin your pity party. 416 00:27:18,114 --> 00:27:19,081 I'll be the gentleman and go. 417 00:27:19,115 --> 00:27:20,016 - Thank you Troy. 418 00:27:20,049 --> 00:27:21,984 - But, I'm not going far. 419 00:27:23,019 --> 00:27:26,889 I'm gonna take his piece of ass with me too. 420 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,062 Bro, beer me. 421 00:27:33,095 --> 00:27:34,263 - Yes brother. 422 00:27:49,679 --> 00:27:50,580 How's it going? 423 00:27:50,613 --> 00:27:51,948 I'm Clay. 424 00:27:51,981 --> 00:27:53,749 I'm Troy's brother. 425 00:28:03,159 --> 00:28:05,127 - Do you think you could take your grandpa with you? 426 00:28:05,161 --> 00:28:08,965 It's probably his nap time anyway. 427 00:28:08,998 --> 00:28:11,667 - Whoa, take it easy sugar tits. 428 00:28:12,969 --> 00:28:15,137 I'm not that much older than you are. 429 00:28:15,171 --> 00:28:18,875 - Yeah right, you probably went to high school with my dad. 430 00:28:18,908 --> 00:28:23,045 Actually, if I had been held back 431 00:28:23,079 --> 00:28:25,114 for just one more year, 432 00:28:25,147 --> 00:28:28,684 you and I would've gone to high school together. 433 00:28:28,718 --> 00:28:31,988 And I probably would have taken your virginity. 434 00:28:32,021 --> 00:28:33,689 - Over my dead body. 435 00:28:35,191 --> 00:28:37,827 - Necrophilia is a dying art. 436 00:28:39,262 --> 00:28:42,798 - Ew, I don't even know what that means. 437 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,136 - Well, now that the ice is broken. 438 00:28:48,704 --> 00:28:51,107 Let's get this party started. 439 00:28:51,140 --> 00:28:51,974 Whoa yeah. 440 00:29:02,852 --> 00:29:04,153 Good, you like it? 441 00:30:34,443 --> 00:30:35,878 - Did you hear that? 442 00:30:35,911 --> 00:30:37,313 Someone's at the door I think. 443 00:30:37,346 --> 00:30:39,448 - Unless you ordered us another Asian prostitute 444 00:30:39,482 --> 00:30:41,183 I don't give a shit. 445 00:31:19,055 --> 00:31:23,459 - So, are you gonna come down here and fuck me or what? 446 00:31:25,094 --> 00:31:26,529 - Oh I am indeed. 447 00:31:26,562 --> 00:31:30,466 But first, I have to teach you a little lesson. 448 00:31:33,269 --> 00:31:36,305 - Ooh, I have been a bad girl. 449 00:31:43,913 --> 00:31:47,450 - Hey could one of you girls do me a favor 450 00:31:47,483 --> 00:31:52,254 and help me put some lotion on my hard to reach places? 451 00:31:55,257 --> 00:31:58,127 - Nobody wants to put sunscreen on your dick Clay. 452 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,397 - Oh honey, my dick isn't hard to reach at all. 453 00:32:01,430 --> 00:32:04,800 In fact, you could probably reach it from there 454 00:32:04,834 --> 00:32:08,404 if you just say the right things to it. 455 00:32:08,437 --> 00:32:11,907 - Does saying creepy stuff like that ever work on girls? 456 00:32:11,941 --> 00:32:16,112 - No, but I have a feeling it's gonna work on her. 457 00:32:17,580 --> 00:32:19,281 - I don't get it. 458 00:32:19,315 --> 00:32:21,083 - Oh, but you will. 459 00:32:22,852 --> 00:32:24,120 - Ew, no way. 460 00:32:24,153 --> 00:32:26,222 - Well, she is a little slutty. 461 00:32:26,255 --> 00:32:28,023 - Who are we talking about? 462 00:32:28,057 --> 00:32:30,459 - Not slutty enough to make that mistake. 463 00:32:30,493 --> 00:32:33,496 - Hey, I have feelings too you know. 464 00:32:35,331 --> 00:32:38,868 - I actually thought he was kind of cute when he walked in. 465 00:32:38,901 --> 01:05:21,455 - You did? 466 00:32:41,070 --> 00:32:42,505 - Not anymore. 467 00:32:43,472 --> 00:32:45,107 - Suit yourself. 468 00:32:45,141 --> 00:32:49,945 I already have my sights locked in on another target anyway. 469 00:32:51,413 --> 00:32:52,581 Gross. 470 00:32:52,615 --> 00:32:55,050 - You're grosser than I am. 471 00:33:09,465 --> 00:33:11,233 - Did Tiffany really steal Troy from you 472 00:33:11,267 --> 00:33:12,368 back in eighth grade? 473 00:33:12,401 --> 00:33:13,636 - Hmm. 474 00:33:13,669 --> 00:33:14,637 - I don't think I could be friends with someone 475 00:33:14,670 --> 00:33:16,005 if they did that to me. 476 00:33:16,038 --> 00:33:18,207 - Please, she did me a favor. 477 00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,376 Besides, you're probably the only one of us here 478 00:33:20,409 --> 00:33:22,912 who doesn't have a boyfriend that she's slept with. 479 00:33:22,945 --> 00:33:25,414 You just get used to her being-- 480 00:33:25,447 --> 00:33:26,315 - A rat shit hoe. 481 00:33:26,348 --> 00:33:28,918 Exactly, yeah. 482 00:33:33,522 --> 00:33:36,225 - Oh man it's so hot out here. 483 00:33:38,627 --> 00:33:41,363 I think I should probably slip into something 484 00:33:41,397 --> 00:33:45,434 a little more suitable for this weather. 485 00:33:45,467 --> 00:33:46,502 Yeah. 486 00:33:56,111 --> 00:33:58,180 Anyone wanna come slap it? 487 00:34:08,457 --> 00:34:09,358 Tell me about it, 488 00:34:09,391 --> 00:34:10,459 you said no boys at the party, 489 00:34:10,492 --> 00:34:12,194 what about that fucking idiot? 490 00:34:12,228 --> 00:34:13,362 Come on Britney. 491 00:34:17,399 --> 00:34:19,501 - Oh you better be covering that thing up with something 492 00:34:19,535 --> 00:34:21,070 before you get out of the water, 493 00:34:21,103 --> 00:34:24,106 or I swear to god I will rip it off. 494 00:34:25,307 --> 00:34:28,210 - Don't you threaten me with a good time. 495 00:34:41,423 --> 00:34:43,459 - Yeah, I think they're all in there. 496 00:34:43,492 --> 00:34:44,493 You can count 'em if you want. 497 00:34:46,528 --> 00:34:47,396 - What's that babe? 498 00:34:48,631 --> 00:34:50,065 Yeah, I don't know. 499 00:34:50,099 --> 00:34:51,500 I mean you took an awful lot out of me, 500 00:34:51,533 --> 00:34:53,235 I don't if I'm ready for another round. 501 00:34:55,337 --> 00:34:56,538 Tell you what, I'm gonna go downstairs, 502 00:34:56,572 --> 00:34:58,507 I'm gonna order a pizza and grab a beer. 503 00:34:58,540 --> 00:35:01,243 I'll give you a minute to warm up okay. 504 00:35:51,460 --> 00:35:52,494 Babe! 505 00:36:00,102 --> 00:36:02,571 You're in luck, my boner's back. 506 00:36:15,651 --> 00:36:17,019 What the fuck? 507 00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:34,570 You son of a bitch! 508 00:36:34,603 --> 00:36:37,539 - Oh come on baby, it was just ice. 509 00:36:38,507 --> 00:36:40,409 I didn't even think it was gonna bother you 510 00:36:40,442 --> 00:36:42,811 since your veins are filled with it. 511 00:36:42,845 --> 00:36:44,446 - That's not funny. 512 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,081 Can you just not be a total jerk for like an hour 513 00:36:46,115 --> 00:36:48,384 so your brother can finish defiling his girlfriend 514 00:36:48,417 --> 00:36:53,255 and then you can both get the hell out of my house. 515 00:36:54,723 --> 00:36:56,725 Are you serious right now? 516 00:36:56,759 --> 00:36:59,495 - Jeez, Blair chill out. 517 00:36:59,528 --> 00:37:01,597 This is supposed to be a party. 518 00:37:13,475 --> 00:37:16,211 - I don't know why she insisted to have a pool party 519 00:37:16,245 --> 00:37:17,679 at her house anyways. 520 00:37:17,713 --> 00:37:20,349 My parents pool is twice the size of hers. 521 00:37:20,382 --> 00:37:22,184 Plus we have a water slide. 522 00:37:22,217 --> 00:37:23,652 - Why do you want a water slide? 523 00:37:23,685 --> 00:37:25,621 I thought you couldn't even get your hair wet. 524 00:37:25,654 --> 00:37:27,322 - That's not the point. 525 00:37:27,356 --> 00:37:30,659 The point is, it would just be cooler if we had one. 526 00:37:30,692 --> 00:37:32,694 Plus at my house we have a full time staff. 527 00:37:32,728 --> 00:37:34,496 I can't believe she expects us to get up 528 00:37:34,530 --> 00:37:36,398 every time we need a refill. 529 00:37:36,432 --> 00:37:37,666 - Yeah. 530 00:37:37,699 --> 00:37:39,668 - I don't even think the pool is saline. 531 00:37:39,701 --> 00:37:41,737 - What does that mean? 532 00:37:42,604 --> 00:37:44,873 - Seriously, Ferris Bueller 533 00:37:44,907 --> 00:37:49,178 he's just a figment of Cameron's imagination, 534 00:37:49,211 --> 00:37:51,213 he doesn't really exist. 535 00:37:52,681 --> 00:37:53,682 - Oh really. 536 00:37:54,616 --> 00:37:55,751 - Think about it. 537 00:37:55,784 --> 00:37:59,421 Ferris, Ferris is everything that Cameron wants to be. 538 00:37:59,455 --> 00:38:02,558 He's the good looking, charismatic version of Cameron 539 00:38:02,591 --> 00:38:05,461 who isn't afraid to stand up to his dad 540 00:38:05,494 --> 00:38:08,664 and he gets the girl in the end. 541 00:38:08,697 --> 00:38:12,334 - So, you're saying that every time we see Ferris on screen 542 00:38:12,367 --> 00:38:14,837 it's actually Cameron imagining him there? 543 00:38:14,870 --> 00:38:16,772 How does everybody know he exists? 544 00:38:16,805 --> 00:38:19,441 I mean, there's a water tower with his name on it. 545 00:38:19,475 --> 00:38:20,776 Does Cameron think that? 546 00:38:20,809 --> 00:38:22,744 - No, he didn't paint it. 547 00:38:22,778 --> 00:38:24,913 It's the Fight Club theory. 548 00:38:24,947 --> 00:38:26,882 Just like Edward Norton's character Jack 549 00:38:26,915 --> 00:38:29,685 really is Tyler Durden. 550 00:38:29,718 --> 00:38:30,586 - But-- 551 00:38:30,619 --> 00:38:32,654 - Or at least he's slowly becoming him. 552 00:38:32,688 --> 00:38:34,456 Like he doesn't know it. 553 00:38:34,490 --> 00:38:36,492 He thinks Tyler Durden is real. 554 00:38:36,525 --> 00:38:38,627 Cameron, Cameron's the same way. 555 00:38:38,660 --> 00:38:42,364 He actually really is Ferris Bueller. 556 00:38:42,397 --> 00:38:43,632 So in turn Cameron's 557 00:38:43,665 --> 00:38:46,602 the one who's picking up Sloane from school, 558 00:38:46,635 --> 00:38:49,304 he's the once dancing on the float 559 00:38:49,338 --> 00:38:51,206 and throughout the entire movie 560 00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:54,276 Cameron is just finally embracing his alter ego 561 00:38:54,309 --> 00:38:58,680 and slowly becoming Ferris Bueller permanently. 562 00:38:58,714 --> 00:39:02,584 - First of all, Edward Norton's character in Fight Club 563 00:39:02,618 --> 00:39:05,354 isn't called Jack, he doesn't have a name 564 00:39:05,387 --> 00:39:08,290 so your theory can jump off a cliff at this point 565 00:39:08,323 --> 00:39:10,259 because Cameron does have a name. 566 00:39:10,292 --> 00:39:12,594 Plus there's this whole incident where Ferris's father 567 00:39:12,628 --> 00:39:13,795 almost catches them. 568 00:39:13,829 --> 00:39:15,264 You know the Abe Froman thing. 569 00:39:15,297 --> 00:39:16,765 I mean I'm sorry 570 00:39:16,798 --> 00:39:18,834 but your theory just does not make sense to me at all. 571 00:39:18,867 --> 00:39:20,669 - Yeah, you know what, 572 00:39:20,702 --> 00:39:23,539 actually I think I screwed it up okay. 573 00:39:23,572 --> 00:39:26,808 Yes, Ferris is a figment of Cameron's imagination 574 00:39:26,842 --> 00:39:30,779 but so are the events of the whole entire day. 575 00:39:30,812 --> 00:39:31,980 There is no Ferris, 576 00:39:32,014 --> 00:39:35,651 Sloane yes, she is the hot chick that he's in love with. 577 00:39:35,684 --> 00:39:38,387 But he doesn't stand a chance of getting her. 578 00:39:38,420 --> 00:39:41,423 Cameron, Cameron he's crazy. 579 00:39:41,456 --> 00:39:44,259 He's still just sitting at home, sick, 580 00:39:44,293 --> 00:39:45,961 dreaming up the whole day. 581 00:39:45,994 --> 00:39:48,697 And that journey they take, that's just something 582 00:39:48,730 --> 00:39:51,867 that Cameron wishes he had the guts to do. 583 00:39:51,900 --> 00:39:56,371 And as his dream comes to end, as they all do. 584 00:39:56,405 --> 00:39:59,975 He's slowly turning into Ferris in real life. 585 00:40:01,376 --> 00:40:04,947 So, in turn he finally has the balls, 586 00:40:04,980 --> 00:40:07,916 the calmness to stand up to his dad 587 00:40:09,084 --> 00:40:12,788 and destroy his dad's most prized possession. 588 00:40:14,056 --> 00:40:15,424 His fancy car. 589 00:40:16,558 --> 00:40:17,392 See? 590 00:40:18,594 --> 00:40:21,697 And this isn't my theory by the way, 591 00:40:21,730 --> 00:40:25,767 I just know it's real, it's been proven on the internet. 592 00:40:25,801 --> 00:40:27,769 - Well if it's been proven on the internet 593 00:40:27,803 --> 00:40:29,404 then it must be true. 594 00:40:29,438 --> 00:40:30,772 - Shh. 595 00:40:30,806 --> 00:40:33,408 Listen, listen, listen. 596 00:40:33,442 --> 00:40:37,045 Why don't, why don't you and I go inside together 597 00:40:37,079 --> 00:40:39,948 and we can watch it right now. 598 00:40:39,982 --> 00:40:44,653 And then, then you can see for your sweet little self. 599 00:40:45,821 --> 00:40:47,689 - Is this what this whole thing is? 600 00:40:47,723 --> 00:40:49,891 An elaborate pick up line. 601 00:40:49,925 --> 00:40:52,527 - Elaborate pick up line? 602 00:40:52,561 --> 00:40:53,528 No, come on. 603 00:40:54,796 --> 00:40:56,865 Okay, yes, maybe. 604 00:40:56,898 --> 00:40:59,501 - I'm not going anywhere with you 605 00:40:59,534 --> 00:41:01,903 unless it's a brightly lit, overcrowded place 606 00:41:01,937 --> 00:41:05,607 where I know the available exits, okay. 607 00:41:05,641 --> 00:41:07,709 - Come on, I also have another theory 608 00:41:07,743 --> 00:41:09,411 I wanted to show you, share with you. 609 00:41:09,444 --> 00:41:10,746 Ah, I blew it. 610 00:41:10,779 --> 00:41:12,014 - Oh I bet you do. 611 00:41:12,047 --> 00:41:14,316 I reject that theory too. 612 00:41:17,386 --> 00:41:18,620 - Hey, Britney. 613 00:41:21,790 --> 00:41:24,092 - What are you guys talking about? 614 00:41:24,126 --> 00:41:25,961 - Uh, are you familiar 615 00:41:27,562 --> 00:41:29,798 with the whole Ferris Bueller Fight Club theory? 616 00:41:29,831 --> 00:41:32,634 Because it will blow your mind. 617 00:41:33,802 --> 00:41:37,072 - Um, I didn't understand a word you just said 618 00:41:37,105 --> 00:41:40,942 but it sounds super boring and I need a drink. 619 00:41:42,144 --> 00:41:44,980 - Whoa, hey, I just so happen to have 620 00:41:46,682 --> 00:41:50,819 a carafe full of the finest cocktail that money can buy. 621 00:41:54,790 --> 00:41:56,692 - Oh yeah, what's it called? 622 00:41:56,725 --> 00:41:58,493 - What's it called? 623 00:41:58,527 --> 00:42:02,097 It's Spanish, it's called a, a Dirty Sanchez. 624 00:42:02,998 --> 00:42:04,866 - Oh my god. 625 00:42:04,900 --> 00:42:06,635 - That sounds totes gross. 626 00:42:07,903 --> 00:42:10,172 - Wait, you mean to tell me 627 00:42:10,205 --> 00:42:13,942 that you've never had a Dirty Sanchez before? 628 00:42:15,610 --> 00:42:17,079 - I don't think I have. 629 00:42:17,112 --> 00:42:18,647 Why is that weird? 630 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:19,881 - It's a little weird, 631 00:42:19,915 --> 00:42:22,617 to tell you the truth I'm just shocked. 632 00:42:22,651 --> 00:42:27,656 I would've thought a super cool, fashion forward woman 633 00:42:28,824 --> 00:42:31,493 such as yourself would be ahead of the trends. 634 00:42:32,661 --> 00:42:34,196 - Well, I try to be. 635 00:42:34,229 --> 00:42:36,465 I'm almost verified on Instagram. 636 00:42:36,498 --> 00:42:41,169 - I assure you, you will never forget the first time 637 00:42:41,203 --> 00:42:44,740 that somebody gives you a Dirty Sanchez. 638 00:42:46,875 --> 00:42:50,545 I would be honored to be your first. 639 00:42:50,579 --> 00:42:52,948 - Fantastico, sign me up. 640 00:42:52,981 --> 00:42:53,782 - Alright. 641 00:42:55,083 --> 00:42:56,952 Just gonna need you to bend over a little first, 642 00:42:56,985 --> 00:42:58,987 I don't wanna miss and get it in your eye. 643 00:42:59,020 --> 00:43:00,722 - Is this really happening? 644 00:43:00,756 --> 00:43:01,590 - Oh yeah. 645 00:43:03,925 --> 00:43:05,961 - Oh my god, that's disgusting. 646 00:43:05,994 --> 00:43:08,997 Why would Spanish people drink something so gross? 647 00:43:09,030 --> 00:43:11,032 - Well I guess she doesn't swallow, 648 00:43:11,066 --> 00:43:13,168 is that gonna be a problem for you stud? 649 00:43:13,201 --> 00:43:15,003 - It's burning, why is it burning? 650 00:43:15,036 --> 00:43:17,005 - You know what? 651 00:43:17,038 --> 00:43:21,009 You girls are a disgrace to hot chicks everywhere. 652 00:43:22,677 --> 00:43:25,614 I'm just trying to be a proper gentleman 653 00:43:25,647 --> 00:43:29,050 and show you ladies a good time. 654 00:43:29,084 --> 00:43:30,819 How about you Blair? 655 00:43:30,852 --> 00:43:35,724 May I introduce to a little Dirty Sanchez action? 656 00:43:35,757 --> 00:43:37,759 - Go fuck yourself Clay. 657 00:43:37,793 --> 00:43:42,631 Whoa, put the claws away kitty cat. 658 00:43:42,664 --> 00:43:46,802 I would think you, more than any of these other girls 659 00:43:46,835 --> 00:43:50,038 could use a nice little crotch massage. 660 00:43:50,071 --> 00:43:51,273 And lucky for you, 661 00:43:51,306 --> 00:43:54,843 I just so happen to be a licensed masseuse. 662 00:43:56,077 --> 00:43:59,014 - You are a sad, strange little man 663 00:43:59,047 --> 00:44:01,082 and you have my pity. 664 00:44:01,116 --> 00:44:04,953 - That's, did you quote Tolstoy to me? 665 00:44:04,986 --> 00:44:07,055 - Go fuck yourself Clay. 666 00:44:07,088 --> 00:44:08,690 - You know what, fine. 667 00:44:08,723 --> 00:44:11,560 I think I'm gonna go do just that. 668 00:44:12,194 --> 00:44:13,595 - What? 669 00:44:13,628 --> 00:44:16,264 - Yeah, that's a great idea Blair. 670 00:44:16,298 --> 00:44:20,902 And since you girls clearly do not know how to party, 671 00:44:22,137 --> 00:44:25,707 I'm just gonna have to take matters into my own hands. 672 00:44:25,740 --> 00:44:28,577 That's right, it's a two hander. 673 00:44:28,610 --> 00:44:30,946 - Oh my god, seriously? 674 00:44:30,979 --> 00:44:33,849 - Yeah, it's fucking huge. 675 00:44:33,882 --> 00:44:36,318 - That's not what I meant. 676 00:44:36,351 --> 00:44:38,220 - Well, I'm dead fucking serious. 677 00:44:38,253 --> 00:44:43,191 I am going to sprinkle my seed all over that goddamn house. 678 00:44:43,225 --> 00:44:44,893 - Don't you dare. 679 00:44:44,926 --> 00:44:46,695 - Now all I have to do 680 00:44:46,728 --> 00:44:51,166 is figure out which one of you lovely, lovely ladies, 681 00:44:52,834 --> 00:44:55,837 is going to be my virtual assistant. 682 00:44:57,105 --> 00:45:02,043 - Clay I'm serious, you keep your sperm away from my house. 683 00:45:03,645 --> 00:45:04,613 - Don't look at me, I'm not going anywhere near that thing. 684 00:45:04,646 --> 00:45:06,214 You can go stop him yourself. 685 00:45:06,248 --> 00:45:08,617 - Ooh, yeah Blair, please. 686 00:45:09,751 --> 00:45:12,587 I welcome you to try, but, be a doll 687 00:45:14,623 --> 00:45:16,024 and just give me a few minutes 688 00:45:16,057 --> 00:45:19,227 to reach my vinegar stroke first okay? 689 00:45:27,269 --> 00:45:28,870 - You're disgusting 690 00:45:28,904 --> 00:45:33,074 and you're not even supposed to be here right now. 691 00:45:33,108 --> 00:45:35,010 Fine, fuck it. 692 00:45:35,043 --> 00:45:36,811 Jerk yourself off in my bathroom, 693 00:45:36,845 --> 00:45:40,849 I'm not gonna let your sperm ruin my pool party. 694 00:45:47,188 --> 00:45:50,058 - What's a vinegar stroke? 695 00:45:50,091 --> 00:45:51,693 - It's when a guy is about to come 696 00:45:51,726 --> 00:45:53,395 and he starts making hideous faces 697 00:45:53,428 --> 00:45:55,030 and it pretty much ensures 698 00:45:55,063 --> 00:45:57,132 you're not gonna come if you look at him. 699 00:45:57,165 --> 00:45:58,867 - Is that a real thing? 700 00:45:58,900 --> 00:46:01,703 - Yeah, it is real and it looks like this. 701 00:46:07,776 --> 00:46:09,644 - Oh, I think I've seen that before. 702 00:46:09,678 --> 00:46:10,845 You mean like. 703 00:46:15,050 --> 00:46:16,084 Right? 704 00:46:16,117 --> 00:46:19,120 - I think it goes more like this? 705 00:46:21,990 --> 00:46:25,026 - Really and how would you know? 706 00:46:25,060 --> 00:46:25,994 - What? 707 00:46:26,027 --> 00:46:28,029 I'm a grown up, I guess. 708 00:46:29,898 --> 00:46:31,800 Not a nun, technically. 709 00:46:33,134 --> 00:46:35,737 I banged a hell a lot of dudes. 710 00:46:37,172 --> 00:46:39,207 - Well would you please stop talking about coming, 711 00:46:39,240 --> 00:46:40,909 I'm trying to relax. 712 00:46:45,447 --> 00:46:46,281 - Whoa. 713 00:46:48,450 --> 00:46:49,751 I wonder where they keep 714 00:46:49,784 --> 00:46:53,254 the jerk off material in this shack. 715 00:47:02,897 --> 00:47:04,065 Whoa, jackpot. 716 00:47:09,738 --> 00:47:12,107 Well Blair, it looks like you 717 00:47:12,140 --> 00:47:16,277 are going to be the lucky lady today my dear. 718 00:47:16,311 --> 00:47:17,379 Oh, yes please. 719 00:47:20,048 --> 00:47:22,784 Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the clock. 720 00:47:23,451 --> 00:47:26,221 This one's even better. 721 00:47:26,254 --> 00:47:27,389 Oh yes, oh baby. 722 00:47:32,327 --> 00:47:35,163 I'm gonna get me some of that. 723 00:47:57,318 --> 00:47:58,286 Yeah. 724 00:47:59,954 --> 00:48:00,789 Oh yes. 725 00:48:05,460 --> 00:48:06,294 Yes. 726 00:48:07,495 --> 00:48:08,963 Oh yes. 727 00:48:10,965 --> 00:48:12,233 Oh yeah. 728 00:48:12,267 --> 00:48:15,203 You're looking good tonight. 729 00:48:15,236 --> 00:48:16,271 Hmm. 730 00:48:17,572 --> 00:48:18,406 Yeah. 731 00:48:19,574 --> 00:48:20,775 Don't look at me. 732 00:48:20,809 --> 00:48:22,277 Don't you look at me, turn away. 733 00:48:22,310 --> 00:48:23,344 Oh yeah. 734 00:48:29,250 --> 00:48:30,452 Oh yes. 735 00:48:30,485 --> 00:48:32,554 You're here too. 736 00:48:36,291 --> 00:48:38,927 - Hey bro, I got your pie right here bro. 737 00:48:42,897 --> 00:48:45,066 Sup man, I got your pizza. 738 00:48:46,901 --> 00:48:48,903 Did you order pizza bro? 739 00:48:50,271 --> 00:48:52,874 Hello, did you order a pizza? 740 00:48:54,275 --> 00:48:56,945 Holy shit, you're not gonna kill me with that thing are you? 741 00:48:56,978 --> 00:48:59,414 You're not on ludes are you bro? 742 00:49:00,381 --> 00:49:02,917 - Oh, oh Mrs., Mrs. Blair. 743 00:49:02,951 --> 00:49:04,319 Oh god. 744 00:49:04,352 --> 00:49:07,255 - Dude cash talks or the pizza walks bro. 745 00:49:27,442 --> 00:49:28,376 - Oh, ooey. 746 00:49:42,924 --> 00:49:46,928 Oh you remind me of my sixth grade teacher. 747 00:49:46,961 --> 00:49:49,130 Mrs. Smith, oh Mrs. Smith. 748 00:49:58,907 --> 00:50:01,176 Oh yeah, oh whack. 749 00:50:01,209 --> 00:50:02,977 You're a funny creature. 750 00:50:03,011 --> 00:50:05,313 Oh, ow that hurt a little bit. 751 00:50:06,481 --> 00:50:07,415 Oh. 752 00:50:07,448 --> 00:50:09,017 Ooh. 753 00:50:13,488 --> 00:50:15,557 Oh yeah, you got one chubby. 754 00:50:15,590 --> 00:50:17,091 You got one. 755 00:50:17,125 --> 00:50:18,426 I'm gonna go. 756 00:50:18,459 --> 00:50:19,494 Okay baby. 757 00:50:25,099 --> 00:50:26,100 Oh, oh yeah. 758 00:50:27,468 --> 00:50:28,503 Oh yeah. 759 00:50:32,207 --> 00:50:33,408 That's it. 760 00:50:33,441 --> 00:50:34,576 Can I take your pants off. 761 00:50:34,609 --> 00:50:35,476 Oh god yes. 762 00:50:36,644 --> 00:50:37,545 Shh, shh. 763 00:50:37,579 --> 00:50:38,913 Yeah I got it. 764 00:50:40,982 --> 00:50:41,583 Oh. 765 00:50:54,963 --> 00:50:57,632 Oh Mrs. Blair's mom, give it to me. 766 00:51:00,668 --> 00:51:01,502 Oh yeah. 767 00:51:05,607 --> 00:51:07,041 I'm gonna come. 768 00:51:54,722 --> 00:51:58,092 - No, no, no, Botox paralyzes the muscles in your face 769 00:51:58,126 --> 00:51:59,560 to reduce wrinkles. 770 00:51:59,594 --> 00:52:02,430 Collagen helps to fill in the wrinkles you already have. 771 00:52:02,463 --> 00:52:04,499 - So they both do the same thing? 772 00:52:04,532 --> 00:52:06,267 - I mean I guess so. 773 00:52:06,301 --> 00:52:08,202 Look, all I know is that you need both 774 00:52:08,236 --> 00:52:09,437 if you wanna stay hot. 775 00:52:09,470 --> 00:52:11,105 - Oh god, I hope it's not too late. 776 00:52:11,139 --> 00:52:13,274 I don't wanna end up looking like our PE teacher 777 00:52:13,308 --> 00:52:16,244 from high school, Mrs. Gillespie. 778 00:52:23,217 --> 00:52:26,321 - You sure know how to throw a pool party. 779 00:52:26,354 --> 00:52:29,524 - I do not want to hear it, especially from you. 780 00:52:29,557 --> 00:52:31,693 I'm surprised my parents haven't sent a limo for you 781 00:52:31,726 --> 00:52:33,795 so you could meet them in Paris. 782 00:52:33,828 --> 00:52:35,330 - Oh they offered, 783 00:52:35,363 --> 00:52:37,565 but I told them I had some studying to do. 784 00:52:37,598 --> 00:52:38,533 - Very funny. 785 00:52:38,566 --> 00:52:41,069 And besides what would you know about partying? 786 00:52:41,102 --> 00:52:43,371 You brought a book to pool party, 787 00:52:43,404 --> 00:52:44,706 maybe it's you that's killing the buzz. 788 00:52:44,739 --> 00:52:46,374 Did you think about that? 789 00:52:46,407 --> 00:52:49,610 - Hey, I love a good pool party just like the next girl. 790 00:52:49,644 --> 00:52:52,180 But some of us have to work for money. 791 00:52:52,213 --> 00:52:54,449 - Yeah, that sounds horrible. 792 00:52:54,482 --> 00:52:56,718 - Besides, I seem to remember 793 00:52:56,751 --> 00:52:59,520 people swimming at pool parties. 794 00:53:02,390 --> 00:53:03,491 - If you even knew how much it cost 795 00:53:03,524 --> 00:53:05,193 to get my hair like this, 796 00:53:05,226 --> 00:53:06,828 you would give me a fucking medal 797 00:53:06,861 --> 00:53:10,164 for being brave enough to even go near the pool. 798 00:53:10,198 --> 00:53:12,600 - Yeah, the wet look only really works on supermodels, 799 00:53:12,633 --> 00:53:14,502 they're not even human. 800 00:53:14,535 --> 00:53:16,104 - What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 801 00:53:16,137 --> 00:53:17,338 - What? 802 00:53:17,372 --> 00:53:20,508 - So, suddenly I'm not supermodel material? 803 00:53:20,541 --> 00:53:23,177 You know what, speak for yourself bitch. 804 00:53:23,211 --> 00:53:25,613 Because everyday I wake up, I'm a supermodel. 805 00:53:25,646 --> 00:53:27,348 So you better take that shit back. 806 00:53:27,382 --> 00:53:29,384 - Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. 807 00:53:29,417 --> 00:53:33,721 - Just shut up and pour me another glass of champagne. 808 00:53:35,289 --> 00:53:38,192 - The champagne's all gone, how do we order more? 809 00:53:38,226 --> 00:53:41,863 - Sweetheart, you're gonna have to go get it yourself. 810 00:53:41,896 --> 00:53:44,665 Or ask Nancy to do it. 811 00:53:44,699 --> 00:53:47,835 - Sorry ladies, you're gonna have to go get it yourself. 812 00:53:47,869 --> 00:53:50,304 I'm actually gonna swim at this pool party, 813 00:53:50,338 --> 00:53:54,108 so shield your eyes from the horrors of wet hair. 814 00:53:54,142 --> 00:53:56,411 - I don't wanna go by myself. 815 00:53:56,444 --> 00:53:58,379 - Fine, I'll go with you. 816 00:53:58,413 --> 00:54:00,515 We're gonna need something stronger than champagne anyway, 817 00:54:00,548 --> 00:54:03,384 if we're gonna be he here all day. 818 00:54:23,538 --> 00:54:27,308 God, she better have something good to drink. 819 00:54:32,447 --> 00:54:33,281 - Hmm. 820 00:54:45,927 --> 00:54:49,664 - Ooh, smell this one, it smells like bananas. 821 00:54:49,697 --> 00:54:50,731 - Yum. 822 00:54:53,701 --> 00:54:55,837 Smell this one, it smells like throw up. 823 00:54:55,870 --> 00:55:00,675 - Why would I wanna smell it if it smells like throw up? 824 00:55:03,878 --> 00:55:06,881 I mean, it can't be that hard right? 825 00:55:08,649 --> 00:55:12,587 You don't even need a high school diploma to be a bartender. 826 00:55:12,620 --> 00:55:14,422 Yeah, my mom watches the movie Cocktail 827 00:55:14,455 --> 00:55:18,693 like all the time so I kind of know what I'm doing. 828 00:55:37,245 --> 00:55:38,045 - I like it. 829 00:55:41,015 --> 00:55:44,218 See, I told you it wasn't that hard. 830 00:55:45,720 --> 00:55:48,422 I think we just shake it like. 831 00:55:51,792 --> 00:55:54,695 God, I just spilled it all over me. 832 00:55:57,865 --> 00:55:59,867 Oh my god, oh my god, 833 00:55:59,901 --> 00:56:01,936 what if it starts to react with self tanner 834 00:56:01,969 --> 00:56:04,305 and I look like a fucking leper? 835 00:56:04,338 --> 00:56:06,974 - Holy shit I think I already see it happening. 836 00:56:07,008 --> 00:56:09,243 - Oh my god, I gotta take a shower right now. 837 00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:14,715 Worst pool party ever. 838 00:56:15,683 --> 00:56:17,785 My self tanning lotion. 839 00:56:19,687 --> 00:56:20,721 Oh my god. 840 00:56:29,964 --> 00:56:32,833 Stupid shower cap, this never would have happened 841 00:56:32,867 --> 00:56:35,503 if the party was at my house. 842 00:57:03,998 --> 00:57:07,702 I hope this doesn't ruin my skin. 843 00:57:07,735 --> 00:57:08,669 Really bad. 844 00:57:12,740 --> 00:57:14,408 Britney is that you? 845 00:57:15,977 --> 00:57:19,714 Hey can you check in the cabinet for me for razors? 846 00:57:19,747 --> 00:57:21,349 Gotta clean up my landing strip 847 00:57:21,382 --> 00:57:23,784 in case that attorney from LA texts you back. 848 00:57:23,818 --> 00:57:26,988 And we are dipping as soon as he does. 849 00:57:34,895 --> 00:57:36,764 What the fuck? 850 00:58:38,025 --> 00:58:40,428 - Here try my new drink. 851 00:58:40,461 --> 00:58:41,962 - Um, I better not. 852 00:58:41,996 --> 00:58:43,164 Jasmine will probably not 853 00:58:43,197 --> 00:58:45,099 wanna share a drink with a peasant. 854 00:58:45,132 --> 00:58:47,668 - Just take it, she had a little accident inside 855 00:58:47,702 --> 00:58:49,904 and she had to go upstairs to take a shower. 856 00:58:49,937 --> 00:58:50,871 - What? 857 00:58:50,905 --> 00:58:52,773 What kind of accident? 858 00:58:52,807 --> 00:58:55,710 - Oh it's okay, she just spilled her drink all over herself. 859 00:58:55,743 --> 00:58:57,411 But it didn't get in her hair so it's fine, 860 00:58:57,445 --> 00:58:58,879 it's no big deal. 861 00:58:58,913 --> 00:59:00,815 - Did you clean it up? 862 00:59:00,848 --> 00:59:03,818 - Um, no, there's people that do that for a living. 863 00:59:03,851 --> 00:59:05,886 Besides I heard if alcohol gets on your tan 864 00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:08,122 it can ruin your skin. 865 00:59:08,155 --> 00:59:11,125 - Your logic blows my mind sometimes. 866 00:59:11,158 --> 00:59:12,760 - Thank you. 867 00:59:12,793 --> 00:59:14,829 - It wasn't a compliment and there is no way 868 00:59:14,862 --> 00:59:18,165 I'm gonna get stuck cleaning up your mess. 869 00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:21,669 You know what? 870 00:59:21,702 --> 00:59:23,003 Forget it. 871 00:59:23,037 --> 00:59:26,807 I'm not gonna let your stupidity ruin my day. 872 00:59:31,011 --> 00:59:32,980 - I made it all by myself. 873 00:59:34,782 --> 00:59:38,719 - Wait, I'm not gonna get Dirty Sanchezed if I drink am I? 874 00:59:38,753 --> 00:59:43,591 - No, I'm not really a fan of get Dirty Sanchezed anymore. 875 00:59:44,925 --> 00:59:49,196 Okay, that completely took me off guard. 876 00:59:49,230 --> 00:59:50,531 It's so good. 877 00:59:52,900 --> 00:59:53,734 Hmm, yum. 878 01:00:00,007 --> 01:00:01,041 Hello. 879 01:00:26,934 --> 01:00:29,103 So, what do you think Tiffany and her boyfriend 880 01:00:29,136 --> 01:00:30,938 are doing in there? 881 01:00:30,971 --> 01:00:33,007 - I'd really rather not think about it. 882 01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:35,142 I already threw up once today. 883 01:00:35,176 --> 01:00:37,745 - Well what room do you think they're doing it in? 884 01:00:37,778 --> 01:00:40,014 - Goddammit Nancy, I am trying really hard 885 01:00:40,047 --> 01:00:42,049 to forget about the fact that everybody else 886 01:00:42,082 --> 01:00:44,885 is ruining my pool party and now you are too. 887 01:00:44,919 --> 01:00:45,986 - Would you relax? 888 01:00:46,020 --> 01:00:47,955 I'm just messing with you. 889 01:00:47,988 --> 01:00:50,658 Besides, I can't really call this party. 890 01:00:50,691 --> 01:00:54,195 Except for the few minutes Clay was naked. 891 01:00:54,228 --> 01:00:57,998 Speaking of Clay, how do you think he's doing? 892 01:01:00,100 --> 01:01:01,702 Too bad he's creepy. 893 01:01:01,735 --> 01:01:03,671 I kinda liked him. 894 01:01:03,704 --> 01:01:06,073 - Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. 895 01:01:06,106 --> 01:01:07,107 - What happened? 896 01:01:07,141 --> 01:01:09,143 - He just commented my photo. 897 01:01:09,176 --> 01:01:10,945 - Who commented on your photo? 898 01:01:10,978 --> 01:01:12,012 - Jim. 899 01:01:13,848 --> 01:01:15,149 - Jim who? 900 01:01:15,182 --> 01:01:18,786 - Jim Gates, the hunky attorney from LA. 901 01:01:18,819 --> 01:01:20,120 - Right, that Jim. 902 01:01:21,088 --> 01:01:23,624 - I have to go tell Jasmine. 903 01:01:26,927 --> 01:01:30,931 - Your friends keep getting weirder and weirder. 904 01:01:34,635 --> 01:01:37,204 - Jasmine, where are you? 905 01:01:37,238 --> 01:01:40,174 You're never gonna believe who commented my pic. 906 01:01:40,207 --> 01:01:41,809 Jasmine. 907 01:01:43,210 --> 01:01:44,011 Jasmine. 908 01:01:46,380 --> 01:01:47,181 Jasmine! 909 01:01:50,951 --> 01:01:54,221 Jasmine, he just liked three of my photos. 910 01:01:58,259 --> 01:02:01,328 Oh my god Jasmine, I think he wants to meet up later. 911 01:02:09,737 --> 01:02:10,571 Oh my god. 912 01:02:11,872 --> 01:02:13,073 What is going on? 913 01:02:16,377 --> 01:02:19,346 What the fuck is going on? 914 01:02:30,791 --> 01:02:31,625 Oh my god. 915 01:02:44,038 --> 01:02:46,907 Please just leave me alone. 916 01:02:46,941 --> 01:02:49,176 Please don't kill me. 917 01:02:49,209 --> 01:02:51,946 I didn't even do anything to you. 918 01:02:55,416 --> 01:02:57,818 Please just leave me alone. 919 01:03:25,879 --> 01:03:27,448 - You must be crazy. 920 01:03:27,481 --> 01:03:29,183 - No, I'm serious. 921 01:03:29,216 --> 01:03:31,251 You need to go in there and see what everybody's doing. 922 01:03:31,285 --> 01:03:32,586 - Why? 923 01:03:32,619 --> 01:03:34,254 So I can watch Tiffany get plowed by her meat head boyfriend 924 01:03:34,288 --> 01:03:37,191 or stumble in on his idiot brother jerking off 925 01:03:37,224 --> 01:03:39,159 while thinking about me. 926 01:03:39,193 --> 01:03:42,796 Or even worse find out that Britney and Jasmine 927 01:03:42,830 --> 01:03:44,398 are actually lesbians 928 01:03:44,431 --> 01:03:48,268 and then have that image burned into my brain forever. 929 01:03:48,302 --> 01:03:49,169 No thank you. 930 01:03:49,203 --> 01:03:51,372 These people are ruining my parents house. 931 01:03:51,405 --> 01:03:54,008 They're turning it into a den of sin 932 01:03:54,041 --> 01:03:55,976 and I'm not going in there until it's clean. 933 01:03:56,010 --> 01:03:58,245 - Wow, this is not how I imagined 934 01:03:58,278 --> 01:04:00,280 you'd turn out as an adult. 935 01:04:00,314 --> 01:04:02,750 You were actually fun to be around. 936 01:04:02,783 --> 01:04:05,019 I mean, when you weren't trying to impress 937 01:04:05,052 --> 01:04:08,789 Tiffany and her friends, you were actually human. 938 01:04:08,822 --> 01:04:11,325 - I never wanted to be like Tiffany and her friends, 939 01:04:11,358 --> 01:04:13,260 I just needed them in the beginning 940 01:04:13,293 --> 01:04:16,330 so people could, you know, give me a chance. 941 01:04:16,363 --> 01:04:18,065 See me for who I really was, 942 01:04:18,098 --> 01:04:20,334 but, I don't need them anymore. 943 01:04:20,367 --> 01:04:23,404 - And buying expensive clothes was the only way to do that? 944 01:04:23,437 --> 01:04:26,373 - No, you can't say anything because you never complained 945 01:04:26,407 --> 01:04:29,510 when my mom bought you new clothes or a makeover. 946 01:04:29,543 --> 01:04:31,178 - Okay, I admit it. 947 01:04:31,211 --> 01:04:32,846 I wanted to fit in too. 948 01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:36,917 I had one friend in this entire world and that was you. 949 01:04:36,950 --> 01:04:38,285 And I didn't wanna lose you, 950 01:04:38,318 --> 01:04:40,754 I had to at least try to fit in. 951 01:04:40,788 --> 01:04:43,223 - It's not like I was gonna stop being friends with you. 952 01:04:43,257 --> 01:04:44,458 I'm not completely heartless. 953 01:04:44,491 --> 01:04:46,160 - How was I supposed to know? 954 01:04:46,193 --> 01:04:49,163 Those girls, the ones in your house right now, 955 01:04:49,196 --> 01:04:52,433 they're heartless and I knew they would convince you 956 01:04:52,466 --> 01:04:56,236 to just leave me behind if I didn't at least try to fit in. 957 01:04:56,270 --> 01:04:59,440 - I never realized I meant so much to you. 958 01:04:59,473 --> 01:05:01,408 - Whoa, don't start inflating 959 01:05:01,442 --> 01:05:03,210 that little head of yours just yet. 960 01:05:03,243 --> 01:05:05,345 It was because of your parents too. 961 01:05:05,379 --> 01:05:08,048 Besides, you did end up leaving me behind. 962 01:05:08,082 --> 01:05:11,318 But lucky for me high school was over so. 963 01:05:11,351 --> 01:05:13,854 - Oh, so now that you're all grown up 964 01:05:13,887 --> 01:05:16,190 you don't need me or my parents anymore. 965 01:05:16,223 --> 01:05:17,291 - I didn't say that. 966 01:05:17,324 --> 01:05:19,460 Your mom and dad will always be like parents to me. 967 01:05:19,493 --> 01:05:22,296 But, you know, I just figured out 968 01:05:22,329 --> 01:05:25,099 I don't need to try so hard to make friends, you know. 969 01:05:25,132 --> 01:05:29,169 True friends are the ones you make when you're not trying. 970 01:05:29,203 --> 01:05:31,305 - This was the part where you start singing right? 971 01:05:31,338 --> 01:05:33,173 - Screw you, I'm being serious. 972 01:05:33,207 --> 01:05:34,374 - So am I. 973 01:05:34,408 --> 01:05:36,176 Remember when we used to turn 974 01:05:36,210 --> 01:05:39,012 all of our favorite movies into musicals? 975 01:05:39,046 --> 01:05:41,215 For years you couldn't say anything serious 976 01:05:41,248 --> 01:05:43,283 without turning it into a song. 977 01:05:43,317 --> 01:05:46,987 And your voice, oh, it was horrible. 978 01:05:47,020 --> 01:05:48,055 My voice was horrible? 979 01:05:48,088 --> 01:05:48,989 - Yeah. 980 01:05:49,022 --> 01:05:50,224 - Have you heard yourself? 981 01:05:50,257 --> 01:05:51,825 - Uh, yeah, I took singing lessons. 982 01:05:51,859 --> 01:05:54,128 - Yeah to be as good as I was. 983 01:05:54,161 --> 01:05:55,362 You're jealous. 984 01:05:55,395 --> 01:05:57,498 - There was a reason why I was always Janet 985 01:05:57,531 --> 01:05:59,032 and you were always Magenta 986 01:05:59,066 --> 01:06:01,268 and it wasn't just your bad hair. 987 01:06:04,538 --> 01:06:07,841 - Okay so listen, here's the thing. 988 01:06:07,875 --> 01:06:09,877 I know I haven't been home for long 989 01:06:09,910 --> 01:06:14,414 and I'm always busy studying and I don't party much. 990 01:06:14,448 --> 01:06:17,317 But, I think you need to get in there 991 01:06:17,351 --> 01:06:19,419 and start opening some doors. 992 01:06:19,453 --> 01:06:20,521 - No, ew. 993 01:06:20,554 --> 01:06:22,556 - You need to get that stick from between your legs 994 01:06:22,589 --> 01:06:24,358 and put something else in there. 995 01:06:24,391 --> 01:06:27,161 - Okay, you can't be serious. 996 01:06:27,194 --> 01:06:30,364 - I'm serious, just pick a door okay and go with it. 997 01:06:30,397 --> 01:06:33,033 And you might come out a better person because of it. 998 01:06:33,066 --> 01:06:36,970 Or maybe not, maybe you'll just have a cool experience. 999 01:06:37,004 --> 01:06:38,405 - Okay, you're disgusting 1000 01:06:38,438 --> 01:06:41,542 for even suggesting something like that. 1001 01:06:41,575 --> 01:06:43,944 Thank god you're not going to school to be a social worker 1002 01:06:43,977 --> 01:06:45,946 because you give horrible advice. 1003 01:06:45,979 --> 01:06:47,948 - Well you might be onto something here. 1004 01:06:47,981 --> 01:06:49,349 I might change majors. 1005 01:06:49,383 --> 01:06:51,418 - If you are so obsessed with me 1006 01:06:51,451 --> 01:06:53,520 playing some perverted sexual roulette 1007 01:06:53,554 --> 01:06:56,223 why don't you walk in and show me how it's done. 1008 01:06:56,256 --> 01:06:57,391 - I'm not obsessed, 1009 01:06:57,424 --> 01:06:59,560 I'm just trying to imagine all the fun and crazy things 1010 01:06:59,593 --> 01:07:02,296 that are going in your bedroom right now. 1011 01:07:02,329 --> 01:07:05,132 - They fucking better not. 1012 01:07:05,165 --> 01:07:07,100 - Okay, take your time. 1013 01:07:09,503 --> 01:07:12,406 I'm just gonna have some champagne. 1014 01:08:14,735 --> 01:08:15,569 - Nancy. 1015 01:08:18,338 --> 01:08:22,009 Don't tell me you're actually opening doors. 1016 01:08:23,443 --> 01:08:27,080 My parents are gonna be very disappointed in you. 1017 01:08:34,321 --> 01:08:38,625 Nancy, do you remember my dads rules about threesomes? 1018 01:08:41,495 --> 01:08:43,530 Hey, no one's allowed in my parents room. 1019 01:08:43,563 --> 01:08:45,465 That better be the dog. 1020 01:09:26,106 --> 01:09:27,107 You asshole! 1021 01:09:28,275 --> 01:09:30,544 - Whoa, wait what did I do? 1022 01:09:31,478 --> 01:09:33,180 Are you kidding me? 1023 01:09:33,213 --> 01:09:34,581 Did you hide this body behind the door 1024 01:09:34,614 --> 01:09:37,184 just so it could fall on me? 1025 01:09:37,217 --> 01:09:38,251 Maybe. 1026 01:09:38,285 --> 01:09:39,519 - Who does that? 1027 01:09:39,553 --> 01:09:42,589 Are you trying to prove to me that you're a fucking psycho? 1028 01:09:42,622 --> 01:09:44,257 - Who does that? 1029 01:09:44,291 --> 01:09:46,693 How about any killer from ever horror movie in the 80's. 1030 01:09:46,727 --> 01:09:48,495 You couldn't open anything back then 1031 01:09:48,528 --> 01:09:49,663 without a dead body falling out of it. 1032 01:09:49,696 --> 01:09:51,598 Guess what, now I know why. 1033 01:09:51,631 --> 01:09:53,500 'Cause it's fucking hilarious. 1034 01:09:53,533 --> 01:09:56,236 - Oh yeah, really funny. 1035 01:09:56,269 --> 01:09:59,106 Holy shit, what is wrong with you? 1036 01:10:00,207 --> 01:10:01,308 - What do you mean? 1037 01:10:01,341 --> 01:10:04,411 - Are you doing perverted shit with my dead friends? 1038 01:10:04,444 --> 01:10:06,480 - No, I mean a little bit. 1039 01:10:06,513 --> 01:10:08,482 - When I asked you to help me kill them, 1040 01:10:08,515 --> 01:10:11,651 I did not think you were gonna have sex with their corpses. 1041 01:10:11,685 --> 01:10:15,188 - Whoa, I'm a happily married man Blair. 1042 01:10:15,222 --> 01:10:17,624 - Who does weird shit with dead girls. 1043 01:10:17,657 --> 01:10:19,760 - Look, no marriage is perfect. 1044 01:10:19,793 --> 01:10:22,262 - And who the hell is that? 1045 01:10:23,597 --> 01:10:25,766 - That's the pizza guy, duh. 1046 01:10:25,799 --> 01:10:28,468 - And what the hell is he doing here? 1047 01:10:28,502 --> 01:10:32,272 - Listen Blair, I actually took this job seriously. 1048 01:10:32,305 --> 01:10:33,540 So when you asked me to do this, 1049 01:10:33,573 --> 01:10:36,510 I practiced on a couple of people okay. 1050 01:10:36,543 --> 01:10:38,545 - A couple of people? 1051 01:10:38,578 --> 01:10:40,614 Who else did you kill? 1052 01:10:40,647 --> 01:10:42,482 - Just Mrs. Stevens. 1053 01:10:42,516 --> 01:10:44,885 - Our next door neighbor? 1054 01:10:44,918 --> 01:10:46,553 - Yeah. 1055 01:10:46,586 --> 01:10:48,522 Maybe the pool guy. 1056 01:10:48,555 --> 01:10:49,489 - Maybe? 1057 01:10:49,523 --> 01:10:50,657 You have killed so many people 1058 01:10:50,690 --> 01:10:52,192 that you can't even keep track? 1059 01:10:52,225 --> 01:10:53,627 - Okay, definitely her pool guy 1060 01:10:53,660 --> 01:10:54,795 is that what you wanna hear? 1061 01:10:54,828 --> 01:10:56,229 - Is that it? 1062 01:10:56,263 --> 01:10:57,564 Did you have time to kill maybe the paper boy 1063 01:10:57,597 --> 01:10:59,166 or the landscaper? 1064 01:10:59,199 --> 01:11:00,567 - Why would I kill the landscaper? 1065 01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:01,768 That guy's cool. 1066 01:11:01,802 --> 01:11:04,671 - And are you sure that's it? 1067 01:11:04,704 --> 01:11:07,307 - Dora the crazy lady. 1068 01:11:07,340 --> 01:11:09,876 - Okay, she's fucking crazy anyway, so it doesn't matter. 1069 01:11:09,910 --> 01:11:11,445 But that's it? 1070 01:11:11,478 --> 01:11:13,680 - Yeah, look that's definitely I've killed so far. 1071 01:11:13,713 --> 01:11:16,383 But am I fucking close to finished Blair? 1072 01:11:16,416 --> 01:11:17,451 - What? 1073 01:11:17,484 --> 01:11:19,653 - I've finally found something that I'm good at. 1074 01:11:19,686 --> 01:11:21,188 I'm really fucking good at this. 1075 01:11:21,221 --> 01:11:22,689 I mean take a look around. 1076 01:11:22,722 --> 01:11:24,391 I wish you could've seen me Blair, 1077 01:11:24,424 --> 01:11:25,826 I should film it next time. 1078 01:11:25,859 --> 01:11:27,561 That's what I'm gonna do, 1079 01:11:27,594 --> 01:11:29,629 I'm gonna film it, then I can watch it the next day 1080 01:11:29,663 --> 01:11:31,731 and see if I've made any mistakes. 1081 01:11:31,765 --> 01:11:33,500 Oh my god, that's brilliant. 1082 01:11:33,533 --> 01:11:36,269 - You sound like a complete psychopath. 1083 01:11:36,303 --> 01:11:38,672 You were never supposed to leave any trace behind 1084 01:11:38,705 --> 01:11:39,539 so we could frame the whole thing 1085 01:11:39,573 --> 01:11:41,708 on the creepy guy across the street. 1086 01:11:41,741 --> 01:11:44,644 I worked really hard on planning on this whole thing. 1087 01:11:44,678 --> 01:11:47,280 Everything was perfect on my end. 1088 01:11:47,314 --> 01:11:48,482 - Perfect huh? 1089 01:11:48,515 --> 01:11:49,716 I don't seem to remember those two assholes 1090 01:11:49,749 --> 01:11:51,418 in your perfect little plan. 1091 01:11:51,451 --> 01:11:53,420 - Everything was perfect until they showed up, 1092 01:11:53,453 --> 01:11:54,855 but that didn't seem to be too much of a problem 1093 01:11:54,888 --> 01:11:56,723 for you now did it? 1094 01:11:56,756 --> 01:11:58,859 I held up my end of the bargain 1095 01:11:58,892 --> 01:12:02,729 and you on the other hand are obviously a big fuck up, 1096 01:12:02,762 --> 01:12:05,532 who can't do anything right. 1097 01:12:05,565 --> 01:12:06,666 - You know what Blair? 1098 01:12:06,700 --> 01:12:08,702 Fuck your stupid plan, okay. 1099 01:12:08,735 --> 01:12:11,371 Because I want everyone to know I did it. 1100 01:12:11,404 --> 01:12:13,740 In fact, I don't want anyone else taking credit 1101 01:12:13,773 --> 01:12:14,741 for my fucking work. 1102 01:12:14,774 --> 01:12:16,443 - Excuse me? 1103 01:12:16,476 --> 01:12:20,213 - Yeah, I am the best killer in history, 1104 01:12:20,247 --> 01:12:21,815 and the whole world is gonna know it. 1105 01:12:21,848 --> 01:12:22,749 You'll see. 1106 01:12:25,552 --> 01:12:26,820 - Best ever huh? 1107 01:12:26,853 --> 01:12:27,821 - Dammit. 1108 01:12:33,460 --> 01:12:34,294 Nancy. 1109 01:12:40,500 --> 01:12:43,570 Really Nancy, the stairs, so typical. 1110 01:12:45,572 --> 01:12:47,307 Well I hate to tell you 1111 01:12:47,340 --> 01:12:49,709 but I think all those rooms are taken 1112 01:12:49,743 --> 01:12:52,712 because your friends are dead. 1113 01:12:52,746 --> 01:12:53,547 - Oh god. 1114 01:12:57,050 --> 01:12:58,418 - Hello Nancy. 1115 01:12:58,451 --> 01:13:00,554 - Get away from me, you're a fucking psycho. 1116 01:13:00,587 --> 01:13:02,322 - I know I'm a psycho Nancy, 1117 01:13:02,355 --> 01:13:04,491 have you seen what I did? 1118 01:13:04,524 --> 01:13:06,626 It's kind of fucking nuts. 1119 01:13:06,660 --> 01:13:08,595 But really hard to pull off, 1120 01:13:08,628 --> 01:13:10,597 so I expect a little bit of credit. 1121 01:13:10,630 --> 01:13:11,698 - You don't have to do this, 1122 01:13:11,731 --> 01:13:12,566 you don't have to kill anyone, 1123 01:13:12,599 --> 01:13:14,434 especially not for your crazy sister. 1124 01:13:14,467 --> 01:13:15,802 - Actually I do. 1125 01:13:16,836 --> 01:13:18,538 I have to kill a lot of people. 1126 01:13:18,572 --> 01:13:20,674 Not for her, but for me. 1127 01:13:20,707 --> 01:13:21,975 If I'm gonna get in the history books 1128 01:13:22,008 --> 01:13:23,877 I need to up my body count and guess what? 1129 01:13:23,910 --> 01:13:26,813 You get to be one of my victims. 1130 01:13:26,846 --> 01:13:31,484 You're gonna be famous, just like me and Blair. 1131 01:13:31,518 --> 01:13:32,719 - You're crazy. 1132 01:13:32,752 --> 01:13:33,920 - If it makes you feel any better, 1133 01:13:33,954 --> 01:13:35,922 I'm gonna miss you the most. 1134 01:13:35,956 --> 01:13:37,991 You're not like the others Nancy. 1135 01:13:38,024 --> 01:13:40,961 Not like slutty slut McGee in here. 1136 01:13:53,974 --> 01:13:55,742 Nice one. 1137 01:14:10,857 --> 01:14:11,791 - Hi Nancy. 1138 01:14:12,759 --> 01:14:16,763 Goddammit Nancy, you are making this so weird. 1139 01:14:24,004 --> 01:14:25,505 This is awkward. 1140 01:14:27,574 --> 01:14:28,808 - What is wrong with you? 1141 01:14:28,842 --> 01:14:30,844 How could you kill all of your friends? 1142 01:14:30,877 --> 01:14:33,380 - How could I not want to kill all of my friends? 1143 01:14:33,413 --> 01:14:35,882 They always thought they were so much better than me, 1144 01:14:35,915 --> 01:14:37,917 they were dirty, filthy pigs 1145 01:14:37,951 --> 01:14:40,120 and no matter what I did when they were still alive, 1146 01:14:40,153 --> 01:14:42,589 I would never be prettier or more popular than them. 1147 01:14:42,622 --> 01:14:43,823 But now I am. 1148 01:14:43,857 --> 01:14:45,358 Everyone will be my friend now. 1149 01:14:45,392 --> 01:14:46,860 - Are you fucking nuts? 1150 01:14:46,893 --> 01:14:48,028 - No. 1151 01:14:48,061 --> 01:14:51,931 I am the sole survivor of a mass murdering psychopath 1152 01:14:51,965 --> 01:14:53,433 who watched her bets friends get killed 1153 01:14:53,466 --> 01:14:54,934 right in front of her eyes. 1154 01:14:54,968 --> 01:14:57,070 Add in the fact that I'm hot and I'll be famous by Monday. 1155 01:14:57,103 --> 01:14:59,839 - You did all this to become famous? 1156 01:14:59,873 --> 01:15:03,677 Why couldn't you just make a sex tape like everybody else? 1157 01:15:03,710 --> 01:15:06,846 - I might be crazy, but I am not a slut. 1158 01:15:08,014 --> 01:15:09,816 And those dirty whores would have done anything 1159 01:15:09,849 --> 01:15:11,985 to make sure I never got more attention than them. 1160 01:15:12,018 --> 01:15:13,853 So I had to remove the competition. 1161 01:15:15,488 --> 01:15:17,891 - Competition, what about me? 1162 01:15:17,924 --> 01:15:19,959 I would have been happy for you. 1163 01:15:19,993 --> 01:15:21,761 - Yeah, you would have been. 1164 01:15:21,795 --> 01:15:23,563 And that's the exact kind of bullshit 1165 01:15:23,596 --> 01:15:25,432 you've been pulling my whole life 1166 01:15:25,465 --> 01:15:27,434 to make my parents like you more than me. 1167 01:15:27,467 --> 01:15:28,968 And now, you're dying. 1168 01:15:47,053 --> 01:15:49,055 - Worse pool party ever! 1169 01:19:07,387 --> 01:19:09,355 No, no, no. 1170 01:19:09,389 --> 01:19:10,823 No, no, no! 1171 01:19:12,125 --> 01:19:13,793 Why! 1172 01:19:13,826 --> 01:19:15,061 God. 1173 01:19:15,094 --> 01:19:15,728 Why? 1174 01:19:33,212 --> 01:19:35,748 Pool party massacre. 1175 01:19:41,854 --> 01:19:43,056 - I knew those little shits 1176 01:19:43,089 --> 01:19:46,192 would grow up to be serial killers.