1 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,470 America's most wanted. Have you seen this man? 2 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:20,795 (Police radio, sirens) 3 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:27,555 'Eagle, you're looking great. Coming up nine minutes.' 4 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,473 Fr-Fr-Fr-Fresh. 5 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:39,116 'Ear me now, rude boys. I has got nuff heavy TV ideas, 6 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,913 which is why I is come 'ere to... 7 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,957 Los Angeles, 8 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,560 to see if I can make it in the world of telly. 9 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:50,589 Bo'! 10 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,391 What is this project about? 11 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:06,276 It's loosely based on, like, James Bond but it's for TV. 12 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:09,039 I've seen that over and over and over again. 13 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:12,117 - There's nothing new. - I done an eight-minute thing. 14 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,958 Let me see, I'll watch a little bit of it. 15 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,309 ( 16 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,757 Get him! 17 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,590 This bit's good. 18 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,633 OK. I got... I got the idea. 19 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,640 All right. One... 20 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,319 This is not a genre that I'm interested in. 21 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,069 - You ain't given it a chance. - I have. I'm not interested. 22 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,317 People will switch on when they see the title, James Bond. 23 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,828 I'm not interested in it. 24 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,997 Thank you very much, I'm not interested in it. 25 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:02,070 I can't make it any more clear. I'm not interested in it. 26 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,430 As clear as I could possibly... I am not interested in it. 27 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,313 I want you to just level with me. 28 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,351 If you like it, say you like it. 29 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,153 - If you don't, say it. - I tried to say it. 30 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,714 - There's another... - I have time for one pitch. 31 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:19,150 It's like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire but with more cash. 32 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,158 I really have to... I have another appointment. 33 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,316 It's Who Wants To Be A Billionaire. 34 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:32,838 There's also one massive selling factor here - the cast. 35 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:37,431 Me knows this girl who also lives in Staines 36 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,471 called Melanie Gibson. 37 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,193 I is hoping to get her involved, 38 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:46,950 then we can put on the posters "Starring Mel Gibson". 39 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,595 OK. But in this country, actors, 40 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:54,349 if they have a name that's already taken, 41 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,516 they can't even use their legal name. 42 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,154 She's known by a lot of her mates as Mel. 43 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,431 - And that's... - "Mel, yo, can you...?" 44 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,439 Officially, if she's, like, applying for a job, Melanie. 45 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:10,632 But once she is in there - "Yo, Mel, has you got...? 46 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,194 "What is you up to tonight, Mel?" 47 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,755 She might have a little problem clearing the name 48 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,030 with the Screen Actors Guild here. 49 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,277 Me would raise, like, loads of cash 50 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,869 by threatening to cuss companies 51 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,480 if they didn't 'and over cash. 52 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,990 So let's say we ask McDonald's, 53 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:36,033 you know, "Do you wanna 'elp fund the programme?" 54 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,674 If them say no, we say, "All right, 55 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:43,077 "we is gonna have someone eatin' a Big Mac and then dyin' of cancer." 56 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:47,398 Well, that's almost tantamount to blackmail. 57 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:51,228 Let's say I rang up McDonald's, spoke to the main man. 58 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,955 I'd say, "Yo, Ronald, give me the cash." 59 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:59,152 What I think is that you have to be positive in your approach. 60 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,794 So maybe me show you the tape. 61 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,875 'I can't believe it. It's a lady.' 62 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,036 Thanks for saving my life. 63 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,469 (Grunting) 64 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,471 (Mobile phone) 65 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,597 'What is it? I is in the middle of having sex.' 66 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,393 It better be important. 67 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,954 Wow, that is fuckin' important. 68 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:41,551 'What, there is a bomb? I just gotta finish meself off.' 69 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,519 Thanks. 70 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,154 Before you leave me, I didn't catch your name. 71 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,919 Me name is James Bond. 72 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,076 James... Bond. 73 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,954 - Do you wanna produce it? - No. 74 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,309 No, it's not my kind of show. 75 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,430 My other idea is this - 76 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:15,553 a police dog has died 77 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:21,311 and its spirit has gone into the Chief of Police. 78 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,194 And it is called... 79 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,629 Hot Dog Cop. 80 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:33,515 Does this police chief know what's going on? 81 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,269 That's the best thing about it. Ain't got no idea. 82 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:41,518 - What happens when it takes over? - Him can speak to the dogs, 83 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,155 him can run like a dog - well fast, 84 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:49,671 but also, he does the dirty stuff that dogs do as well. 85 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:55,352 Like, he'll do a... Suddenly he can't control himself, do one. 86 00:05:56,200 --> 00:06:00,159 I think it would take a very... uh... 87 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:06,554 ingenious script... to make it work. 88 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:11,390 You would need a dog to help write some of it. 89 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:18,955 - And by that, what do you mean? - The dog bits. 90 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,235 (Police radio, sirens) 91 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,872 ( 92 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,270 Hello. Chinqui. 93 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:53,872 I come here to learn etiquette in deep South with Helen, 94 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,435 who professor of etiquette. 95 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,471 - Yes, sir. - Hello. 96 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:04,594 - Hello. - Should you be polite to all? 97 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:09,316 - Yes. - Er, should you be polite to prostitute? 98 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:14,029 - Well, yes, because that's what they do. - Yes. 99 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,516 How much is polite to tip them? 100 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,596 - To tip? - Yes. 101 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,518 Usually, it's ten per cent. 102 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,596 - In some places, it's... - Yes. 103 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:28,189 - For hand relief. ...sometimes 20 per cent. 104 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,071 For with vagine. 105 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:33,317 But it is always proper to tip. 106 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:37,751 Will you teach me, please, how to be... manners? 107 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,439 - Yes, sir, I will. - Thank you. 108 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,517 - You're welcome. - Thank you. 109 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,312 You're welcome. 110 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:48,636 - Thank you? - You're welcome. 111 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,511 Er, thank you? 112 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:54,235 You say how to talk to people with different personality. 113 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,352 Right. We also have a dull person. 114 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,550 Like my wife. 115 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:03,388 - What you need to do... - She is boring. 116 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:07,718 You need to think about things to help her not be boring. 117 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,832 It is like doing it with my sister. 118 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:16,000 We're not talking about that. Is she boring to have dinner with? 119 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:19,430 - Yes. - You need things to talk about. 120 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,756 Maybe it's because you haven't done enough with her. 121 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,109 I do everything! I try... 122 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,391 In the kitchen I do it, every way, 123 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,591 we try, we look at the DVD, 124 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:34,552 we try to make it ourself. 125 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,350 (Man) Ladies and gentlemen... 126 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:45,073 This is Elsa McDowell, this is Borat. 127 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,793 Hello. How do you do? 128 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:52,072 - Simms McDowell. Pleased to meet you. - Chinqui. 129 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:56,719 - Hello, I'm George Thurmand. - Hello. Borat Sagdiyev. 130 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,869 Can I talk about what I did last night? 131 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,070 Well, it depends on what you did. 132 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,874 Is it somethin' personal that might make someone embarrassed? 133 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,319 No. 134 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,954 Last night, er... 135 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,991 I had sex. 136 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,274 I beg your pardon? 137 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:25,348 I had, um... with woman from Gambia 138 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,516 I do, um... 139 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,551 Oh! 140 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,838 In America we don't discuss that. 141 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,189 But she was nice! 142 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,231 High five! 143 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,274 - She was... - You're in trouble, George! 144 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,357 Can I talk about my hobbies? 145 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,437 Sure. That's a wonderful thing to talk about. 146 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,278 Again, that's getting to know a person. 147 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,160 Do you like porno? 148 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:59,910 (Man) No. (Woman) An interesting conversation. 149 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,157 But why? In Kazakhstan now, 150 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,351 after communism we have a lot of porno. 151 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,710 I like... I like a shaven pussy! 152 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,877 Should I talk about my family? 153 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:17,151 Sure. I would share good things about your family. 154 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:22,555 My sister, she is a... 155 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,591 a prostitute? 156 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,030 That's sad. 157 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,196 What? 158 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,310 Why is she a prostitute? 159 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,636 She like to make money! High five! 160 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,032 She like to come to US and A. 161 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,111 She can stay with you? 162 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,395 We'd have to see. 163 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:55,399 - She is good! - I know the answer to that. 164 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,079 What if I make a smell? 165 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,588 Should I say is me? 166 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,631 No, you don't make it obvious 167 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:06,798 but if you feel like people are looking at you like... 168 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,593 you just say, "Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry." 169 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,632 - (Borat) There is a smell. - Like you're... 170 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,671 It smell like a shit. 171 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,950 Yes, it does! 172 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:21,551 We say a putt. When you do a putt, when you squeeze a bad... 173 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,513 a bad smell from the... hole. 174 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:26,959 Hole. 175 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,560 - You do a putt. - That's right. 176 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,956 - There are wonderful flowers... - I can do a big putt! 177 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,276 - You want I try? - I'm good. 178 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:40,074 - You want I try to do a putt? - No. 179 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,271 - I can do. - I know you can. Who cannot? 180 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,390 - You want I...? - No. 181 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,830 - Can you make yourself do it? - I have one. 182 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,269 - I have one, you want? - No. 183 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,390 Borat, don't do it. 184 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,431 It is coming. 185 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,471 - Um... - (Man) We're waiting. 186 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,829 - No, we're not. - If you want, I can do. 187 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,110 - Put your hand close. - No! 188 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,673 - Chinqui. - Chinqui, OK. 189 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:07,395 You are a fat! You are fat! 190 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,591 - He is a fat. - I'm fat. That's why I... 191 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,631 You are tiny! 192 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:16,116 He will squash you when you do the sex. 193 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,631 Easy now. 194 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:29,912 Sex. You has all heard the words, 195 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,157 probably nuff of you out there is done it. 196 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,670 So, what is pornography? 197 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:42,272 I think pornography sends a very dangerous message to society. 198 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,754 I think it lies about sex. 199 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:48,952 - What does you think? - I mean, I... (Giggles) 200 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,879 - I enjoy watching it myself. - No doubt. 201 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,912 You know, a lot is the parents, 202 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,952 because you have to be 18 to enter these sites. 203 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,151 - There's a written... - She's right. 204 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,113 ...statement saying, "Yes, I'm 18." - That's... 205 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,628 - Whoa, let her finish. - I'm sorry. 206 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:13,993 I'm seeing young girls, 12, 13, and I'm thinking they're 18. 207 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,508 For the men in this business, 208 00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:19,154 how important is it, the size of the warrior? 209 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,397 It's not really the size. I've worked with quite large men, 210 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,431 I've worked with smaller men. 211 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,710 Cos I is got a massive one. 212 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,992 But what does you say to people with small ones? Not me. 213 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,349 - No. It's... - I'm quite the opposite. 214 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,631 The saying, it's not how large, it's how you use it. 215 00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:40,832 Why do you think it is that you ain't had sex with someone yet? 216 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,110 Is it because you is too shy 217 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,391 or cos you is aiming for honeys out of your league? 218 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,113 - No. - Is it cos of the confidence? 219 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,277 - You don't go up to ladies... - No. No. No. No. 220 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,197 ...and say, "Let's do it". - No. 221 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:59,758 I do not believe that sex with multiple partners should be the norm. 222 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,998 So you is saying is you actually is trying 223 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,031 not to 'ave sex? 224 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:09,231 I'm trying not to allow sex to come to the forefront of my life. 225 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,999 Does you think the age 226 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:16,670 at which you can 'ave sex is at the right level? 227 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:23,997 For most states in this country, the age of consensual sex 228 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,635 - is usually around 16 or 18. - Aight. 229 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,478 Virgin, does you think it's at the right age? 230 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,353 Well, I think the difficulty 231 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,473 is the issue that we're wired to have sex pretty young. 232 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:42,116 - How old... Can I...? - I was 18 when I lost my virginity. 233 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,071 How old was you? 234 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,395 I ain't asking you cos you is a virgin. 235 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,830 I was like, I think, about ten or something, 236 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,077 with this model from Italy who was 28. 237 00:14:54,360 --> 00:15:00,549 It is illegal for people to 'ave sex below the age of 16. 238 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:05,754 Should it be illegal to 'ave sex above the age of, say, 50? 239 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:09,588 I wouldn't want it to be illegal to have sex above the age of 50 240 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,631 for personal reasons! 241 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,671 But like a couple of years ago, 242 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,109 me had a really bad experience. 243 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,151 Me walked in on me nana. 244 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:25,874 She was doing it, like, 69 with Uncle Derek, her boyfriend - 245 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,309 who ain't me real uncle. 246 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:32,114 I felt sick, it was like walnuts in a sock. 247 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,551 - How can that be right? - Don't go into Nana's bedroom. 248 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,070 Yeah, but they did it in the living room as well. 249 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:44,159 Well, that's irresponsible, for parents to do that 250 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,033 when there are children around or anyone else. 251 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:51,198 Let's just have one word to sum up your position. 252 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,071 Let's say commitment. 253 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,350 - Virgin? - Nobility. 254 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,957 - Jesus. - (Heart) Hmm. 255 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,391 - Safety. - Yo, and mine is peace. 256 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,955 So let's try and do that into something. 257 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,319 Is... 258 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,557 (Soulfully) 259 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,672 260 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,029 261 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,273 262 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,311 Innit? 263 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,669 264 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,119 Commitment. 265 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:30,756 266 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,597 OK. 267 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,835 Peace. 268 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:36,711 Mm? Just thought that up. 269 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:42,471 Just like that. I didn't know what your words was gonna be beforehand. 270 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:46,229 - It was off the top of my head. - Thank you. 271 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,996 ( 272 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,752 Excuse me, please. 273 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,394 I'm here in the coolest city in the world. 274 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,557 That's right, LA. Los Angeles. 275 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:11,956 It makes Vienna look like a fucking stupid leader. 276 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,356 Let's go and find out what makes it so out there. 277 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,197 Whatever. 278 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,231 We're going back. 279 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:31,393 Would you, like, prefer to be born without a sense of fashion 280 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,718 or with one of those hands that has really small fingers, 281 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,320 like half a hand thing? 282 00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:41,955 Yes, I'd rather be born with a sense of fashion, definitely. 283 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,195 - And one of those... - Exactly. 284 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:49,268 Because you can design something to cover them, special gloves. 285 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:53,108 Maybe you could add some steel fingers or silver fingers, 286 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,913 things to make it look exercised. 287 00:17:55,960 --> 00:18:00,636 What was it like when Madonna came in through the door... 288 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,638 - She didn't. ...did her vogue and said, 289 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,671 "Hi, I'm a virgin?" 290 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:09,554 Well, I don't wanna say. She didn't come to the store here. 291 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,319 - She hasn't been here? - Not when I was here. 292 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:16,069 Warum sind sie hier? Du hast gesagt, Madonna. 293 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,908 They're crazy about Madonna. Can you just pretend...? 294 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,430 OK, so what was it like when Madonna came through the door 295 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,995 and said, "I wanna buy these clothes, they're the greatest," 296 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,031 and like did the vogue? 297 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,799 Yeah, it was amazing, unbelievable. 298 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:35,037 - How many things did she buy? - 12 to 14 pieces. 299 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,914 Oh, my God! And did she come back in many, many, many times? 300 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:40,951 Yes, she did. 301 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,275 - Is this her favourite shop? - Yes. 302 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,390 What's the cool way to walk? 303 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,238 All right. This is the coolest way to walk. 304 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,072 OK, great. 305 00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:58,716 - What's, like, the innest religion now? - Buddhism. 306 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:03,038 And what was the in religion, like, you know, last fall? 307 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,791 Maybe Catholic. 308 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,308 We've got a charity with the show, 309 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:13,592 it's to do with, like, death or dead children, I don't know. 310 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:19,033 Er, I wondered if you can do something for them, into camera? 311 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,355 Take it away from the god of fashion. 312 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,152 OK. 313 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,074 - That's it. - Cool. That will make a difference. 314 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:25,189 What do you think about Hitler? He was from Austria. 315 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,231 Do you think he had good style? 316 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:31,592 Their uniforms looked perfect. It was never out of style. 317 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:35,679 He had style and he had a message, a bit like Christine Aguilera. 318 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,995 Er, yeah, I guess he did have a message. 319 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,828 So, if Jesus were alive today, where would he shop? 320 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:45,429 Er, Jesus would probably shop on Melrose, actually. 321 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,870 We've got a lot of shops that have long, cool get-up 322 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,390 yet still have that back-to-earth kind of feeling. 323 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:56,069 Sure. And what about Gandhi? 324 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:58,190 Where would he shop? 325 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:02,518 Gandhi was a minimalist. I'd say he would shop downtown. 326 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,358 Downtown there's a lot of fabric stores, 327 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:10,315 I think he'd just buy a piece of fabric, tie it with a rope and he'd be fine. 328 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,670 (Bruno) What is Jonathan Antin? 329 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,280 What is Jonathan Antin? 330 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,351 Fuck, man. I'm just a... 331 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:26,188 I'm a troubled, crazy... 332 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,834 - Sure. ...fucking maniac 333 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:33,431 that has a lot of feelings and a lot of emotion 334 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,550 and a lot of craziness. 335 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,592 Look at the evil people in the world. 336 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,872 Saddam Hussein, Hitler, Stalin. 337 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,070 What did they all have in common? 338 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,236 Moustaches. 339 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,114 There's quite a few Middle Easterners that look like him 340 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,151 that are not totally crazy. 341 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,395 There are a few people with moustaches 342 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,079 who aren't totally crazy but most of them... 343 00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:00,714 - A little fucking nuts. - In my experience. 344 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:04,150 Is it a coincidence that all the good people have long hair, 345 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,158 like Jesus and like hippies 346 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,589 and, you know, Rod Stewart, whatever. 347 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,791 Sure. I've done Rod Stewart's hair for a long time. 348 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,149 - I'll be really honest with you. - Sure. 349 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:19,398 I'm very impressed that you've brought these issues up. 350 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:24,560 Because I've thought of them a couple of times in my career 351 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,752 but I've never heard anyone else address them except for you. 352 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:33,954 - Thanks. That means a lot. - Did you write all this shit? 353 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:38,551 - Yeah, I've been thinking... - Dude, that's so heavy. 354 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,637 - I've always wondered why. - Yeah, cos it's crazy. 355 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:45,229 - Why all the good people... - Jesus and Moses. 356 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,589 - Yeah. - In pictures of God... 357 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,631 Long hair! 358 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:53,229 They didn't care so much about their look, they wore wraps, 359 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,271 they grew their hair long. 360 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,039 Say something controversial into the camera. 361 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,674 You motherfuckers in the Middle East, 362 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,598 God help you if I ever come over there, 363 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,632 cos I'll take all you cocksuckers out. 364 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,958 We say in Kazakhstan a man who never kill a man 365 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,991 is like a man without any... 366 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,031 How you say? 367 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,990 - Is true, is true? - Er... 368 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,110 It's a strange feeling. 369 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,835 You have a big, er... You have a big, er, hràng? 370 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,996 Ah... (Mutters) 371 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:32,510 - Fairly. Yeah, it's, um... - Yes. 372 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,791 Not... Pretty good. Pretty good. 373 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:39,628 - I can touch? - In America, you don't, er... 374 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,399 It's not, er... 375 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:47,635 That's not one of our customs, you know, where you... 376 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,558 - I can touch? - Er... 377 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,756 Well, sure. Why not? 378 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,030 - Yes, is OK with you? - Sure. 379 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,472 - Is nice. - Thank you. 380 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:05,593 Is, er, good but I have, er, seen bigger.