1 00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:04,172 There it is. 2 00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,506 Kill it. 3 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,242 Dewey, a spider has just as much right 4 00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,144 to live as you or I. 5 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:13,181 Besides, it's unlucky to kill it in the house. 6 00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,684 Okay. 7 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,086 Hello, little fella. 8 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:19,887 Come on, sweetheart. 9 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,255 Oh! 10 00:00:21,289 --> 00:00:23,824 (screams) 11 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,159 (screaming) 12 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,860 (both screaming) 13 00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,829 Go! Go! Go! 14 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,399 (screaming) Open the door! Open the door! 15 00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:32,900 Front or back or side?! 16 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,736 Side. No, back. No, front! Front! 17 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,373 (gasps) 18 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,841 Oh, my God, did we just...? 19 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,875 Go. 20 00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,244 She can only ground me. 21 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,212 (Lois screaming) 22 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:45,613 Get your keys and go. 23 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:46,914 But... Go! 24 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,950 (Lois screaming) 25 00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:53,554 * Yes, no, maybe 26 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,090 * I don't know 27 00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:59,293 * Can you repeat the question? 28 00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,529 * You're not the boss of me now * 29 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,897 * You're not the boss of me now * 30 00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,367 * You're not the boss of me now * 31 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,402 * And you're not so big 32 00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,704 * You're not the boss of me now * 33 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,940 * You're not the boss of me now * 34 00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:14,442 * You're not the boss of me now * 35 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:18,312 * And you're not so big 36 00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:23,284 * Life is unfair. 37 00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:29,623 (grunting) 38 00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:31,292 My dad's company picnic is tomorrow. 39 00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,127 Laurie Millbrook is going to be there. 40 00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:35,729 I've kind of had a crush on her since third grade. 41 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:38,499 (grunting) 42 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,802 I haven't seen her since she moved across town last year. 43 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,104 I've grown about four inches since then, 44 00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,806 but I can't just count on that. 45 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,775 If I do, like, 10,000 of these tonight, 46 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,278 I should have something to show by tomorrow. 47 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,012 (grunting) 48 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,347 Dewey, no candy tomorrow. 49 00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,582 Do you understand? 50 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,649 But I'll be fine. 51 00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:56,817 No, you won't. 52 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,486 What happened at the last company picnic? 53 00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:02,022 I got in a fight with that redheaded boy. 54 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,391 And why did you do that? 55 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,026 'Cause I ate candy. 56 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,095 Because you ate candy. 57 00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:10,698 You do not metabolize sugar well. 58 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,132 You get mean and crazy, 59 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,134 you get into fights and you end up crying. 60 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,170 Do you want that to happen again this year? 61 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,505 No. No. 62 00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:18,839 Now go get ready for bed. 63 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,341 Okay. 64 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,210 What do you think? This.. 65 00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:24,312 or this? 66 00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:25,946 What are you doing? 67 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,282 This is an important office function, Lois. 68 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,850 It's a company picnic. 69 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,652 A picnic attended by my new boss, 70 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,020 whom I haven't met yet. 71 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,523 I have to start off on the right foot. 72 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,391 Hal, you're making too much of this. 73 00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,392 No, I am not. 74 00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,460 If I've learned one thing 75 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,695 it's that you have to make a good first impression. 76 00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:44,465 It sets a tone for the entire relationship. 77 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,166 MAN: Hal, this is your new supervisor 78 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,635 Ms. Plum. 79 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,002 Great to meet you, Hal. 80 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,804 I'm really looking forward to working with you. 81 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,240 Same here. 82 00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:55,809 (singsongy): Oh, and what do we have here? 83 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,678 (chuckling) 84 00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,348 (singsongy): My big fat stomach. 85 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,417 You know, I'd like you to meet your staff 86 00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,185 but I'm not quite sure where everyone went. 87 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:07,020 (hushed laughter) 88 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:10,123 (loud laughter) 89 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,996 It is great to meet you, Mr. Jacobson. 90 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,331 I just want you to know 91 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:20,033 that I am going to do a terrific job for you. 92 00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,735 Well, that's great, Hal. I'm sure you are. 93 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,537 Have you met my daughter and son-in-law? 94 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:24,872 No, I haven't had the pleasure. 95 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,874 Kelly? Steve? 96 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,310 I want you to meet somebody. 97 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:30,844 Hi, I'm Hal. 98 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,179 Hi, Hal. 99 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,547 So, nice... 100 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,349 Oh, oh! 101 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:36,250 Oh, my God! 102 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:39,453 There's a toothpick in my eye! 103 00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:40,788 She's gushing blood. 104 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,424 For God's sakes, somebody put a tourniquet on her neck! 105 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:46,427 KELLY: I'm outside of my body. 106 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,362 I can see a light. 107 00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:50,230 Grandma, is that you? 108 00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:51,732 You son of a bitch! 109 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,233 I'm going to chew off your face! 110 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,302 I'm going to spit it out 111 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,469 and I'm going to dance on it! 112 00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:56,737 I'm going to kill you! 113 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,205 I'm going to drag your carcass 114 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,373 through the streets! 115 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,375 She's got a toothpick in her eye! 116 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:02,410 (screaming) 117 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,712 It's like a chess game, Lois. 118 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,047 Every subtle move is vital. 119 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,617 (grunting) Eight... 120 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,819 (panting) 121 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:15,656 Oh, my God! 122 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,057 What'd you do? You're huge! 123 00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:19,091 Shut up. I'd be careful. 124 00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,428 You might frighten Laurie with your savage manliness. 125 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,896 Who says I'm doing it for Laurie? 126 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,932 Oh, so Laurie's fair game, then? 127 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,134 I wonder if she likes older men. 128 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,101 Reese, don't. 129 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,570 Look, I really like this girl. 130 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,138 Please. 131 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,740 It's my first chance to see her 132 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:33,741 since she moved away. 133 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,075 I'm asking you as a brother. 134 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,144 Please don't be a jerk and screw this up. 135 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:40,814 Wow, this desperate groveling is new for you. 136 00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,483 Keep it up. 137 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,685 (grunting) 138 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,253 (door opening) 139 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,288 LAVERNIA: You call yourselves a hockey team? 140 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,990 If we're going to beat McAllister Oil, 141 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,291 you're going to have to play 142 00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,760 a hell of a lot better than that. 143 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,127 You're making stupid mistakes. 144 00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:55,596 You're missing opportunities. 145 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,598 You got to keep your mind on the game. 146 00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,200 Are our paychecks here yet? 147 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,437 Aren't you done with that sink yet? 148 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,472 Are you kidding? 149 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,440 There's more in here than when I started. 150 00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:08,208 You're not leaving till that sink is finished. 151 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,711 It would go a lot faster if Eric were helping. 152 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,947 I'm not letting my star player anywhere near that toxic filth. 153 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,783 I slave away all day by myself 154 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,618 just because he plays hockey? 155 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,187 He doesn't just play hockey. 156 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,689 He skates like the wind. 157 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,224 And he's got a 70-mile-an-hour slap shot. 158 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:26,326 Well, indoors... fresh ice. 159 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,363 We're going to teach those thugs from the oil rig a lesson 160 00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:30,864 they'll never forget. 161 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,533 Those chicks won't know what hit 'em. 162 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,067 You're playing girls? 163 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,237 Well, the men won't play us till we beat their ladies team. 164 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,672 PETE: We're fed up with those girls. 165 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,908 They play dirty, they make fun of us 166 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,510 and they steal our women. 167 00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:45,178 Wow. People who are actually more humiliated than me. 168 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:46,647 I'd love to see that. 169 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,715 Wish granted. 170 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,316 You're our new equipment manager. 171 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,350 What? 172 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:51,985 Renaldo came down with jock lung. 173 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,087 Here's your check. 174 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,556 Here you go, Eric. 175 00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,525 There's a little something extra in there for you. 176 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,426 Thanks. 177 00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,393 Wait a minute. 178 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,028 There's no money in this check. 179 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,195 It says I owe you $14. 180 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,231 I didn't even buy anything last week. 181 00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,667 There's been some cost of living increases. 182 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,268 Your room, your board, your pillow rental, 183 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,770 then there's those rubber gloves 184 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,338 you insist on wearing, princess. 185 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,840 This is insane. 186 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,775 I'm not going to work 60 hours a week 187 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,710 and still end up owing you money. 188 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:17,711 I quit. 189 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,547 Fine. Just give me the $604 you racked up 190 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,248 since you got here, you're free to go. 191 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,850 What? 192 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,420 How could I possibly have $604 when you keep taking all my money?! 193 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:27,721 Well, then shut up! 194 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,056 And get back to work. 195 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,624 And you better not 196 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,460 let your equipment manager duties 197 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,562 get in the way of your real work. 198 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,300 Man, that sucks. 199 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,937 (phone rings) 200 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,138 Hello. 201 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,406 Malcolm, great. It's me-- Francis. 202 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,808 Listen, I'm in a real bind up here... 203 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,209 Francis, I don't have any money. 204 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,243 Wait, hear me out. 205 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,545 Tell Mom they're sending 206 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:53,647 all the smart kids to Washington, DC. 207 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,983 Hit her up for $600 and then just spend 208 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,117 a long a weekend at Stevie's... 209 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,586 Reese, phone. 210 00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,420 Hello. 211 00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:01,421 Reese, great. 212 00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,591 Um, you know that hardware store on Second? 213 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,993 Okay, they've got a real slippery entryway... 214 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,729 Dewey, phone. 215 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,730 Francis? 216 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,664 Yep. 217 00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:11,999 Money? Yep. 218 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,481 I don't know why I go to these things. 219 00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,617 I am so nervous. 220 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:32,653 My stomach sounds like a bunch of dogs fighting. 221 00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:33,754 Listen to this. 222 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,255 Put your ear down there. 223 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,690 Hal, you'll be fine. 224 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:41,629 What are you doing? 225 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:42,630 Just keep moving. 226 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,998 Hal, do you even know your new boss is here? 227 00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,800 Are you kidding? They're all here. 228 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:47,835 There's Landon. 229 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,270 He's the head of the whole company. 230 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,672 Of course the new guy's here. 231 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:52,673 Don't talk nonsense! 232 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,207 Well, you've never met the man. 233 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,276 Do you even know who you're hiding from? 234 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,311 That's a good point. 235 00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,448 Barry, is the new boss here yet? 236 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,150 Yeah. He's right over there. 237 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:06,620 Let me know when you're going to introduce yourself. 238 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,021 Most of us figure 239 00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,790 you're going to set him on fire. 240 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,559 Hey, no fair giving him ideas. Bet's off. 241 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,561 Come on, fellas, I'm nervous enough as it is. 242 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,796 Hal, we're just teasing you. 243 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,565 Come on. You'll do fine. 244 00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,700 You and I both know that's a lie. 245 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,902 Yeah, well, I tried. 246 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:34,648 Oh, hi, Mom. 247 00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,717 Splendid day for a picnic. 248 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,150 You want to do this the easy way 249 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,186 or the hard way? 250 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,589 The hard way. 251 00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,756 Spread 'em. 252 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:53,601 Honey, I'm not always going to be around to do this. 253 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,703 You have to control yourself. 254 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,204 I know. 255 00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,109 Undies. 256 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,884 Malcolm? 257 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,519 Laurie, hi. 258 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,387 It's so good to see you. 259 00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:18,358 Yeah... good to see you, too. 260 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,294 Wow, I can't believe how tall you are. 261 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,730 Yeah... well, you know. 262 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:23,964 Oh, man, 263 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,398 I've missed you guys so much. 264 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,867 I've missed you, too... 265 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,202 I mean, we've all missed you. 266 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,971 Everyone. Not just me. 267 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,040 Hey, are you doing that three-legged scavenger hunt? 268 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,642 The what? They tie your leg 269 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,209 to another person and send you off 270 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,477 into the woods to find stuff. 271 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,312 It might be fun. Plus you can win $100. 272 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,948 I just need a partner. 273 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,150 Do you want to do it? 274 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,384 Really? 275 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,819 Yeah. It sounds great. 276 00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,655 Cool. 277 00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,556 Is that your brother? 278 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,758 Hi, Reese. 279 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,125 Sorry, I'm gay. 280 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,961 Okay. 281 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,497 (mouthing) 282 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,237 You work for the company or are you a drag-along? 283 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,739 Definitely a drag-along. 284 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:06,840 Oh, me, too. Me, too. 285 00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:09,242 My husband drags me along to these functions, 286 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,244 then he runs off and talks to his friends. 287 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,946 I hide. Hide? 288 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,115 From my kids. 289 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,084 It's so great to have somebody to talk to. 290 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,019 I'm really so bad at social situations. 291 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,288 My psychiatrist says 292 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,290 that I'm emotionally detached 293 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,659 and that I have paranoid fantasies 294 00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:28,696 about what people are thinking about me. 295 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,031 Uh-huh. 296 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,499 Yeah. 297 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,702 Sometimes it can get really ugly. 298 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:37,537 False accusations, crying jags. 299 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,472 I don't know why my husband married me. 300 00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,341 Oh, I mean, I know why I married him, of course. 301 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,111 Because I'm addicted to disapproval. 302 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,612 Ah. Really? 303 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,647 Oh, yeah, yeah. 304 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,883 Of course, I only have myself to blame 305 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,119 because he's exactly like my father was. 306 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,355 Oh, my God, he was so judgmental. 307 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,724 Every time I opened my mouth, 308 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,658 I felt like I was torturing him. 309 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,896 Go! Good hustle! 310 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,498 Nice slashing! 311 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,167 Guys, let's go! 312 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,736 Keep it moving! 313 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,470 Keep your legs moving! 314 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,140 Good! 315 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,475 Push it! 316 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,744 Good move, Wendy! 317 00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,011 Don't relax! 318 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,747 Wow, they're good. 319 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,015 They got nothing on my boy. 320 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,316 How's the diarrhea? 321 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,417 You feeling all right? 322 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,652 Tip-top. 323 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,354 Hey, Coach, there's Lavernia. 324 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:30,323 I hear she might actually have a team this year. 325 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,159 You think we ought to adjust the front line? 326 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,427 Clarence... Clarence. 327 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,329 What? 328 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,498 Oh, hey, Lavernia. 329 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,767 I was afraid 330 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,501 you'd show your face. 331 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,436 Not that I was afraid you'd play me-- 332 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,840 just that you'd show your face. Ha! 333 00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,175 Hello, Clarence. 334 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:51,511 I thought you only gave your pep talks in your van. 335 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,613 Ah, you'll get a boyfriend one of these days. 336 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:57,017 You'll have that moment of bliss, 337 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,518 and then you'll bite his head off 338 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,088 and lay your rotten eggs down his decapitated body. 339 00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,456 Come on, was that comment necessary? 340 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,793 That's exactly why people don't like you. 341 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,460 People like me. 342 00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:09,729 Who doesn't like me? 343 00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,698 I got a good feeling about today. 344 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,866 Look at these girls. 345 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,034 They're not so tough. 346 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,302 Wait till I get out there. 347 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,369 I'm going to go... 348 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,637 (screams) 349 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,385 How's my breath? 350 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,921 It seems fine. 351 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,555 Not too minty? 352 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,057 'Cause that can be just as bad. 353 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,926 Please give me back my compact. 354 00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,498 Okay, get in, get out. 355 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,634 Just say hello and go. 356 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,469 Nope. 357 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:50,503 (gasps) 358 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,072 Mr. Landon, hello. 359 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,240 Hey, Hal. 360 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,908 I told you about the first time I met this guy, right? 361 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,743 The urinal cake guy. 362 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:57,945 (laughing) 363 00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:58,946 Unbelievable. 364 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,413 But I didn't fire him. 365 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,449 He's turned out to be one of our finest 366 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:03,783 systems managers. 367 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,485 Just goes to show you that even a gibbering idiot 368 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,087 can surprise you. 369 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,823 Oh, you know, sir, that would make a great chapter heading 370 00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:10,790 for your new book. 371 00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:13,927 I thought he dropped his pill case. 372 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,796 Excuse me for being considerate. 373 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,531 Hi. John Pratt! 374 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,300 It is a pleasure to meet you! 375 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,368 Hi. 376 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,469 You are a hard man to find. 377 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,938 I finally had to have someone point you out. 378 00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:27,707 Well, it's not like I'm avoiding you. 379 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:30,443 (both laughing) 380 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,812 I had heard you had a great sense of humor. 381 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,383 I know it's just going to be great working with you. 382 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,318 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 383 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:43,390 Well, I-I should get back to my family now. 384 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,357 Oh, right, right. 385 00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,692 I'm sorry to hold you up. 386 00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:48,228 It is a real pleasure to meet you, Mr. Landon. 387 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,430 Same here. 388 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,867 (gasps) 389 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,311 All right, boys, you got ten minutes. 390 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,713 Leave your wallets and other valuables in here. 391 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:07,714 And hustle up. 392 00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:10,150 We got to get out on the ice and warm up. 393 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,718 I don't think I can play. 394 00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:14,221 My glute cramped up on the ride over. 395 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,222 You have to play. 396 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,991 Go lay down on that table. 397 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,326 You. 398 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,593 Get over there. 399 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,062 Give him a good, strong massage. 400 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,264 Work that knot out of his glute. 401 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,099 Out of his what? 402 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,603 No way! 403 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,272 He's our goalie. We need him. 404 00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,106 No! 405 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,608 Look, you owe me $604. 406 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:38,545 You do this, I'll take off a dollar fifty. 407 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,013 A dollar fifty?! 408 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,014 And if you don't, 409 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,583 I'll charge you 50 bucks for the ride home. 410 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,452 The rest of you get out there! 411 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,620 (players shouting) Show them what you got. 412 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,789 Here, you're responsible for these valuables 413 00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,324 till after the game. 414 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:55,762 Don't be afraid to dig in deep. 415 00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:58,565 If it helps, I'll unhitch the trapdoor. 416 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:04,871 (grunting) 417 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,974 LAVERNIA: Get up, you idiot! 418 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,741 What, are you stupid?! 419 00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,543 (yelps) 420 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,945 (groans) 421 00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,381 I said hustle to the crease! 422 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,116 Hustle! 423 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,285 Hey, I was just hanging out in the locker room 424 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,886 and the other coach approached me. 425 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,990 What's that gin-soaked, reptilian sack of dog logs 426 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,291 trying to pull now? 427 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,226 He wants to make a little wager with you 428 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,727 on the outcome of the game. 429 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,430 $642 to be exact. 430 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:31,798 I don't bet. 431 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:34,101 I earn my money, and I hold on to it. 432 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,669 Yeah, he said you'd be afraid. 433 00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,471 Oh, he did? 434 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,607 He also said that John Grisham was a hack 435 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,910 with no sense of plot and a tin ear for dialogue. 436 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:44,911 What?! 437 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,346 He said that about Mr. Grisham? 438 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:50,117 All right, he wants to bet, we'll bet. 439 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,684 Tell him to make it $700. 440 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:55,088 He was pretty adamant about the $642. 441 00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,256 Fine. 442 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,790 Hey, Chuck! 443 00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,260 I need you to hold on to some bet money. 444 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,462 Okay. 445 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,864 That idiot Clarence has no idea 446 00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:07,367 what we've got in store for him. 447 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,701 Go, go! 448 00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:09,636 Go! 449 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,004 Oh, ho-ho! 450 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,106 (cheering) 451 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:16,209 Easiest $700 I ever made. 452 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:17,110 (whistle blows) 453 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:18,778 I don't know what's with my skates. 454 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,712 The blades are so dull. 455 00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,881 Hey, somebody unscrewed mine. 456 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:25,452 I got Vaseline all over my grip tape. 457 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,553 (buzzer sounds) 458 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,888 MAN: Go, go, go, go! 459 00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,723 (all yelling) 460 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,359 (sighing) 461 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,394 MEG: He is never home. 462 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,129 The last time that we had dinner together 463 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,330 was six months ago. 464 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,698 And that was with his boss. 465 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,168 Oh, and did I tell you about our anniversary? 466 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,669 I bought $30 worth of candles. 467 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:43,903 $30 worth. 468 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,239 And I was wearing a negligee the size of a postage stamp. 469 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:48,641 He walks in an hour late, goes straight to the computer 470 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,543 and spends the next six hours in a chat room. 471 00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:53,413 I drank an entire bottle of champagne. 472 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,815 Then I passed out and I woke up the next morning 473 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,884 with the dog licking my face. 474 00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,687 And I actually thought it was my husband. 475 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,255 I'm going to go see what my boys... 476 00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,191 I mean, as if he would ever show me 477 00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,392 any kind of affection. 478 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:06,858 I mean, as far as he's concerned, 479 00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,395 I am still the fat lady 480 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,029 that answered his psychiatrist's phone. 481 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,898 I mean, in my mind 482 00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:15,202 I do see myself as a 200-pounder. 483 00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:18,204 But I have seen the way that other men look at me. 484 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,406 Wanda! 485 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,873 Oh, it's so good to see you again. 486 00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:22,409 Wanda, this is Meg. Meg, this is Wanda. 487 00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,243 Why don't you two get to know each other. 488 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,778 I'm going to get something to drink. 489 00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:27,012 I'll be right back. 490 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,348 Um... 491 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,917 So, how do you know Lois? 492 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,820 Que? 493 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,890 I like you. You're fun. 494 00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,759 I like you, too. 495 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,494 Want some of my candy? 496 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:43,963 (crying) 497 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:47,634 But he... My... my candy! 498 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,469 (screaming) 499 00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,037 You fill up on that bread. 500 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,706 Better you get sick on that than on candy. 501 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,941 You understand me? 502 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,876 I got enough to worry about 503 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,346 without you going crazy on me. 504 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,816 Stay here! 505 00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:11,824 (gasps) 506 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:12,992 Hi, Lois. 507 00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,327 Are you hiding back here? 508 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,463 No, no. Just enjoying the shade. 509 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,064 Did you meet your new boss yet? 510 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,666 Yep. Well, how did it go? 511 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,801 Fine. Good guy. We really hit it off. 512 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,636 What happened? 513 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,172 What do you mean, "What happened?" 514 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,439 It went well. He likes me. 515 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,107 Is that such a hard thing to imagine 516 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,476 I made a good first impression? 517 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,777 PRATT: Hey, Mr. Landon! 518 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,179 You should give me a little credit. 519 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:33,946 Mr. Landon! Hey, boss! 520 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,148 Is that man call... 521 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:36,183 Of course he isn't. 522 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,117 Whatever you were going to say-- 523 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,786 whatever that was-- he isn't. 524 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,754 Hal, I'm not going anywhere until you ex... 525 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,323 Lois! Lois! 526 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,593 PRATT: Excuse me. 527 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,395 Mr. Landon! 528 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,665 So, did I tell you 529 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,635 that his mother is coming to visit me this week? 530 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:59,005 I mean, she despises me, but at least she talks to me. 531 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,773 My husband, on the other hand 532 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,476 hasn't said two words besides "Where's the remote?" 533 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,012 and "How far are those going to sag?" 534 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,447 This really isn't a good time. 535 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,948 And every year 536 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,717 he has to go to this stupid get-together 537 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,185 for his old friends from college. 538 00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:13,786 We're about to walk into this party 539 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:14,854 and he turns to me 540 00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,689 and he tells me not to say anything stupid. 541 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,958 Well, how's a person supposed to respond to that? 542 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,026 I embarrass him one time. 543 00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,060 I mean, big deal 544 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,329 I didn't know who Ernest Hemingway was. 545 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,930 I mean a lot of people don't. 546 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,667 All right, girls. Secure. 547 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,503 Okay, Pete and Kathy, you're next. 548 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:31,471 (giggling) 549 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,740 It's so great to see you again, Malcolm. 550 00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,542 Great to see you, too. 551 00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,744 For those of you without partners 552 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,579 we've done a random pairing. 553 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,147 Mike and Cristina. 554 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,915 Reese and George. 555 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,517 I'm Reese. 556 00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,353 I'm George. 557 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,154 You can call me George. 558 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,723 I can eat eight hot dogs. 559 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,926 That's good, George. 560 00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,729 You've got to be kidding me. 561 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,231 It's really weird being away 562 00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,832 from all my friends I grew up with. 563 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,401 I'll bet. 564 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:04,737 Malcolm, can I ask you something? 565 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:06,839 Sure. 566 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,241 If you liked somebody 567 00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:11,010 and you had no idea if they liked you back, 568 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,845 would you say something? 569 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:16,182 I've always thought honesty was a good thing. 570 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,517 Me, too. 571 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,186 But... what if they lived too far away 572 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,689 and it'd be really hard? 573 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,757 I like you, too, Laurie. 574 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,626 I really, really like you. 575 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,628 Honestly, you have no idea. 576 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,896 I've liked you for years. 577 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,864 I think about you all the time. 578 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,266 Oh, no. 579 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,034 What? 580 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,303 Oh, my God. 581 00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,405 I am so sorry. 582 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:41,207 I was talking about Gary Spindler. 583 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,442 Oh, no. 584 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,243 Oh. It's okay. 585 00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,045 No. This is so humiliating 586 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,146 and it's all my fault. 587 00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:50,283 Oh, Malcolm, I am so sorry. 588 00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:51,884 Really, it's not that... 589 00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,853 Malcolm and Laurie. 590 00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:56,989 Now remember, 591 00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,926 you're only going to be tied together for three hours, 592 00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,794 so let's get hopping.