1 00:00:00,375 --> 00:00:03,165 [theme music] 2 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:23,750 So, uh, what are you doing your science project on, Janice? 3 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:24,752 Snakes. 4 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:25,843 [screams] 5 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,667 [laughing] I love it, Janice. 6 00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:30,723 I tell you, the classics are always the best. 7 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:35,047 Dennis! You made me tear my blouse on the locker door! 8 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:35,965 It's ruined! 9 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:38,142 [Dennis chuckles] You think that's funny? 10 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:40,641 Well, yeah. Come on, Janice. It's kind of funny. 11 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:44,103 You owe me $180. 12 00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:45,935 Now, Janice, that's not funny. 13 00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:49,730 Dennis, my parents bought me this blouse in Japan. 14 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,026 It is pure silk. 15 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,780 I want my money. 16 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:56,702 - Get out of here. - This isn't over, Dennis. 17 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:59,581 I'm not some wimpy marshmallow you can just push around. 18 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,039 - Yeah. - Like Arvid. 19 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:11,340 (female 'And furthermore, you may be the principal' 20 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,091 'of this high school, but you can't tell me' 21 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,973 'what to do on my free time.' 22 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,049 My life is my own! 23 00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:19,927 Pompous tub of guts. 24 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,017 Is he like that all day long? 25 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,059 Well.. 26 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,522 [whispers] ...yes. 27 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:28,982 (Dr. Samuels) 'I heard that, Mrs. Ferris. Get in here!' 28 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:30,983 'I want you to explain these requisition forms' 29 00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:33,565 'to this new art teacher.' 30 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:36,815 Excuse me. 31 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,775 Couldn't help but overhear you yelling at Dr. Samuels. 32 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,656 I was very impressed. 33 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:43,662 Thank you. 34 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,325 I don't know how you work with that guy. 35 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:48,843 Ah, you don't work with him, you work around him. 36 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,707 - It's a long way around. - Yeah. 37 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:56,091 - Charlie Moore. - Gilda Maneti. 38 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,594 Haven't seen you before. Are you new here? 39 00:02:57,635 --> 00:03:00,845 Yes. Matter of fact, I am. I just moved here from DC. 40 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:03,179 Oh, Washington. Quite a town. 41 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:06,144 Yes. It's a fascinating place. 42 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,686 But there's, uh, too much 43 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,899 immorality and deceit there for me. 44 00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:12,189 Yeah. Politicians. 45 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:13,743 Ex-husband. 46 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,396 [bell rings] 47 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,528 - Gotta get going. - Me too. 48 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,252 Look, how'd you like to have lunch today? 49 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,958 Uh, I'm sorry, I can't. 50 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,578 - Well, okay. Dinner tonight? - Uh-- 51 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,165 I know this great little Greek joint, just opened. 52 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,631 Good food, music, dancing-- 53 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,590 I-I'm really not dating right now. 54 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,761 I'm sorry. If you're seeing someone, I-- 55 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:39,299 No, no. It's just I.. 56 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,766 - Well, why not? - Okay. 57 00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:46,938 - Sure. - Good. 58 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:49,436 Uh, I'm staying with relatives 59 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,149 until I can find a place of my own. 60 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:54,779 - I'll pick you up about 8:00? - Uh, fine. 61 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,987 Okay. See you then. 62 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,200 Why are you still here? 63 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,832 Tell you the truth, Harold, I'm trolling for guys. 64 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,500 You better be joking. 65 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:12,208 Anybody here hits on my sister, he's dead meat. 66 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,301 Actually, the jury system 67 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,510 can be traced back to the 11th century. 68 00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:23,430 Now before that, people were literally tried by torture. 69 00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:26,931 If you survive the rack, you were innocent.. 70 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,425 ...and tall. 71 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:30,805 [bell rings] 72 00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:33,903 - Okay, see you tomorrow. - Thanks, Mr. Moore. 73 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,736 Uh, listen, you girls. 74 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,697 - Y-you both have an art class? - Yeah. 75 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:41,948 Um, I was wondering 76 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,910 if you could tell me anything about the new art teacher. 77 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,330 You know, hobbies, special interests 78 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,409 favorite flower. 79 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:50,293 Well, why would you want to know that, Mr. Moore? 80 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,999 To tell the truth, we have a date tonight. 81 00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:57,382 Well, gee, I wouldn't have thought 82 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,802 Mr. Feeny was your type. 83 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:04,138 - Who's Mr. Feeny? - The new art teacher. 84 00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:07,848 - Then who is Gilda Maneti? - I don't know. 85 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:09,850 Oh, well, thank you. 86 00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,479 Oh, oh, if it's any help 87 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,361 Mr. Feeny did mention he likes to hunt. 88 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:22,858 (Gilda) 'He's late.' 89 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:23,905 And if he thinks I'm just gonna 90 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:25,068 stand around looking like.. 91 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:25,986 [knock on door] 92 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,374 - How do I look? - Uh-- 93 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,830 Never mind. 94 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,250 Be nice. 95 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,168 I'm always nice. 96 00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:35,706 Besides, how bad of a guy can this be? 97 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,800 Please tell me you have a twin brother 98 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,394 who's the principal of a high school. 99 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:50,732 Charlie. 100 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,887 Well, you obviously know my brother. 101 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,225 Yeah. 102 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,268 Oh. 103 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,395 I'm sorry, I-I should have realized 104 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,242 this might be awkward for you. 105 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:04,908 I'm not sure awkward is quite the right word. 106 00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,235 They're beautiful. 107 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:11,865 Harold, water. 108 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,592 [grunting] 109 00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,971 I know. I-I'm the same way on dates. 110 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:29,930 You know, you tell yourself relax, just be yourself 111 00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,432 and-and then I sound to myself 112 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,984 like I'm on National Public radio. 113 00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:36,188 - I know what you mean. Sit. - Thanks. 114 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:40,069 Ah, I'm much more relaxed talking to 12 men in a jury box 115 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,568 than I am to one man in the back of a cab. 116 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:43,950 Well.. 117 00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:47,656 Say this, you-you really make criminal law sound fascinating. 118 00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:51,118 I wish that you could talk to my first period history class. 119 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,000 Sure. What are they charged with? 120 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:56,580 They're honor students 121 00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:58,634 and we're studying the American legal system 122 00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:01,298 and you'd make a great guest lecturer. 123 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:04,087 - Okay. - Tomorrow? 124 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,762 Tomorrow? 125 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,300 - Uh-- - I'll walk you to school. 126 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:11,505 I'll even carry your books. 127 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:14,556 Gee, you must really like me. 128 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,190 Can't you tell? 129 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,898 [clears throat] 130 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,435 Well, hello. 131 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,033 I didn't expect to see you two here 132 00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:27,198 at 1:30 in the morning on a school night. 133 00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:40,327 But how can you represent someone that you know is guilty? 134 00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:43,046 - Yeah. - Ah, I don't know. 135 00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:44,167 As a defense counselor 136 00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:46,763 I am ethically obligated to defend my client 137 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,179 and provide him with the best possible defense 138 00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:52,308 no matter what I think about his innocence or guilt. 139 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,216 That's for the court to decide. 140 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,225 After all, I could be wrong. 141 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,437 Well, what if you were defending Al Capone 142 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,308 or Charles Manson or, um.. 143 00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:02,154 - Lizzie Borden? - Yeah. 144 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,070 Right. I mean, how could you defend murderers like them? 145 00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,779 People who are definitely guilty? 146 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,659 Well, for one thing, Lizzie Borden was innocent. 147 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:10,657 - What? - She was? 148 00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:12,198 She was tried and acquitted 149 00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:13,371 in a court of law. 150 00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:14,619 What about that poem? 151 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:15,750 "Lizzie Borden took an axe 152 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,996 and gave her mother 40 whacks." 153 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,669 If she were alive today, she could file 154 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,127 a 20 million dollar libel suit. 155 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,338 You see how easy it is to assume something without proof? 156 00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,719 Uh, that's why we don't try people by opinion. 157 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,637 We try them by the facts, by the law. 158 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,176 Well, why don't we thank Miss Maneti 159 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,760 for an enlightening discussion? 160 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:36,314 [applause] Thank you all. 161 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,269 Thank you, Charlie. I enjoyed it. 162 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:41,349 I always thought that the law would be boring. 163 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,555 But not the way you talk about it. 164 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,146 Are you working on anything interesting now? 165 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:49,202 I have a murder case pending. 166 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,107 It can wait. 167 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,664 I want you to sue that creep over there. 168 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,408 He wrecked my blouse. 169 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,370 [imitates Janice] "He wrecked my blouse." 170 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,080 [bell rings] 171 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,120 You could take him to small claims court. 172 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:03,214 Great. Make a run for the border, Blunden. 173 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,841 Oh, I'm shakin'. I'm shakin'. 174 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:08,923 I have a question for Miss Maneti. 175 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,795 - Mm-hmm. - You guys dating or what? 176 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:12,891 - Yeah. - Yeah. 177 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:17,178 Dating? Uh, yes, I guess we are. 178 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,433 - Oh, great. - Wow. 179 00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:20,314 - Way to go, Mr. Moore. - Yeah. 180 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:23,061 She sure is a lot cuter than Mr. Feeny, huh? 181 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,671 You okay? 182 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,168 Yeah. 183 00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:46,339 Why do you ask? 184 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:47,877 I don't know, I.. 185 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,460 You've just been very quiet. 186 00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,755 Oh, I'm sorry, uh.. 187 00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:54,259 Just been thinking about something. 188 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:59,144 I've been thinking about us, actually. 189 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,231 I really like you, Charlie. 190 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,848 I feel the same way. 191 00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:06,194 I mean, I really like you. 192 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:12,193 I like you more than any woman I've met in a long time. 193 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,356 You're terrific. 194 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:15,284 Ah, you've got this great sense of humor 195 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:18,663 and you're intelligent and kind and generous. 196 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,701 - You're a wonderful guy. - Thanks. 197 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:23,535 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 198 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:25,790 What? 199 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:28,253 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 200 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,254 I got that part. I.. 201 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,086 Why? 202 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,590 - Because I like you. - So? 203 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,893 Well, every time I start liking somebody 204 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,676 I wind up getting hurt. 205 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,060 Oh, you're the one that gets hurt. 206 00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:41,057 Yeah. 207 00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:43,268 And it's already started. 208 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:46,229 You were late, Charlie. 22 minutes. 209 00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,560 You were late yesterday too. 210 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,775 And this morning when you came to pick me up for school. 211 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:51,856 I know the signals. 212 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,201 Ah, next thing you know, you'll stand me up 213 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:56,406 and then you'll be working late at the office. 214 00:10:56,447 --> 00:11:00,277 And then, huh, then, well, I'll find you in a motel room 215 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:03,326 with an aerobics instructor named Tina. 216 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,997 Are you listening to yourself? 217 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,131 I mean, y-you're totally irrational. 218 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,798 I am not irrational. 219 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,126 I am a defense attorney. I think I know the difference 220 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,802 between an intelligent discussion 221 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,720 'and an emotional outburst.' 222 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,839 You, get back in there! 223 00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:24,136 You-you want irrational? Huh? 224 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,233 You are-are gonna throw away 225 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:29,398 a-a potentially wonderful relationship 226 00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,938 because you have hang ups about your ex-husband 227 00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:33,652 and some aerobics instructor. 228 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,283 Well, what about your refusal 229 00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:37,199 to take responsibility for your action? 230 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:40,368 I know I'm sending mixed messages. 231 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,658 You're doing the same thing. Admit it. 232 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,082 Fine. You want a message that is not mixed? 233 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,501 Let's just back off for a while. 234 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,789 - A while is mixed. - Okay. Let's just back off. 235 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,674 - Fine. I'll leave. - Great. 236 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,342 Well, great. 237 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,676 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 238 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,909 Oh, Dennis. 239 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,118 You see, now you're gonna push Janice too far. 240 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:26,119 You can't hang her Captain Fuzzy Blue. 241 00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:28,327 It-it's her favorite. 242 00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:30,212 Hey, Arvid, this is just a subtle way 243 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,499 of getting her to back off. 244 00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:32,962 Don't do it, Dennis. 245 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,842 Mr. Moore, all I'm trying to do is.. 246 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,471 How do you like that? He didn't stop. 247 00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,757 He didn't take me aside. No heart-to-heart talk. 248 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:41,721 No nothing. 249 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,811 What kind of attitude is that for a teacher? 250 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,017 Excuse me. 251 00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:47,926 Is one of you, uh, Dennis Blunden? 252 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:50,225 - Him. Dennis! - Him. Dennis! 253 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,441 - What is it? - A summons. 254 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,651 You've got to go to small claims court, kid. 255 00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:56,981 - What for? - I don't know. 256 00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:59,276 - Guess you stiffed somebody. - I sti.. 257 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,490 Hey, I didn't do anything. 258 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:02,949 Yeah, that's what they all say. 259 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,036 Uh, where did we leave off yesterday? 260 00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:15,344 Oh, um, we were gonna discuss 261 00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:16,877 some of the issues that Miss Maneti brought up. 262 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,091 Well, that was yesterday. 263 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,170 Let's discuss something else today, okay? 264 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,756 Uh, how about the supreme court? 265 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,091 You know, what's interesting to me 266 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,545 is how justices often abandon their allegiance 267 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,346 to the presidents who appointed them. 268 00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:28,389 That's a good point. 269 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:29,642 Well, according to Miss Maneti-- 270 00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:31,983 Oh, well, now Miss Maneti was very interesting 271 00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:35,229 but if you want a stable, reliable opinion 272 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:37,612 from somebody without, you know, emotional problems 273 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,740 I'd suggest going to Oliver Wendell Holmes. 274 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:44,527 - She dumped him. - Yeah, sure. 275 00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:47,203 Look, uh, you don't have the facts 276 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,873 and it's none of your business.. 277 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,082 ...and you're right. 278 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,541 Uh, but it has no bearing on this history class. 279 00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,712 Ah, don't worry, Mr. Moore. 280 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,500 There's plenty other fish in the sea. 281 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,004 That's right. The important thing 282 00:13:58,045 --> 00:14:00,085 is to get out of the house and be with people. 283 00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:03,880 Thank you. I-I-I really don't want to discuss it, okay? 284 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,086 Oh, come on, Mr. Moore. 285 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:07,595 You're always makin' us talk about our stuff. 286 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,848 You wanna go out in the hall? 287 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,602 Okay, if you really must know, uh 288 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:17,565 I was uncomfortable dating Dr. Samuels' sister. 289 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:20,026 Oh, that's no reason to stop dating her, Mr. Moore. 290 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,487 You remember what you told me when I said 291 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:22,857 I didn't like Simone's parents. 292 00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:25,033 What's wrong with my parents? 293 00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,412 We'll talk about that later, Simone. 294 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,368 Mr. Moore is having some emotional problems. 295 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,199 No, I'm not. I'm not. 296 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,164 Uh, Miss Maneti has the problems. 297 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,504 [indistinct chatter] 298 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,579 Alright. So I was late 299 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:37,003 picking her up a couple of times. 300 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,252 My lock's stuck. 301 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,844 Now that's been sticking for a while, hasn't it? 302 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:41,920 Yes. 303 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,474 Well, why don't you get it fixed? 304 00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:44,717 - 'Yeah.' - 'Yeah.' 305 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:46,588 Mr. Moore, you're repressing. 306 00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,715 You know, my therapist would say that being late 307 00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,142 is merely a subconscious expression 308 00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:52,310 of your reluctance to make a commitment. 309 00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:54,599 On the other hand, he could just have a cheap lock. 310 00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:56,483 You've seen where he lives. 311 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,860 Thanks. That's enough. I'll be fine. 312 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,568 Of course, you will, Mr. Moore. 313 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:01,728 And look on the bright side. 314 00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,565 It's a lot easier to get into a movie theater 315 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,241 on a Saturday night when all you need is one seat. 316 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,240 - Take it from him. - 'Yeah.' 317 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,540 Thank you both, thank you all. 318 00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:23,167 Arvid, my court case against Janice is today. 319 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,173 I need your help, buddy. 320 00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:26,054 Hey, Dennis, whatever you want. 321 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,221 - We're best friends. - Oh. 322 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,970 [gasps] 323 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:33,182 Listen, I want you to be my main character witness. 324 00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:35,273 Now all you gotta do is tell the judge that you know 325 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,559 that I would never do anything to intentionally 326 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,813 harm or embarrass another human being. 327 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:43,066 [laughing] 328 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,566 Hey, Jawaharlal. Wanna be my friend? 329 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,736 No. But thanks. 330 00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:56,245 Character witness? 331 00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:57,868 [laughing] 332 00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:01,705 Miss Maneti, guess what. I've got my court date. 333 00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:04,762 Courtroom 12-C, Judge Ronald P. Osgood 334 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:05,917 four o'clock today. 335 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,125 Oh, good for you. 336 00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:09,054 I have my material evidence 337 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:11,263 several proofs establishing precedent 338 00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:13,103 and I watched "LA Law" last night. 339 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:16,478 All I need now is for you to act as my guardian ad litem. 340 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,267 Oh, why don't you ask Mr. Moore? 341 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,060 I can't. I've got him under subpoena. 342 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,111 Will you do it? 343 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:25,188 Um, four o'clock today? 344 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,534 I've got an arraignment after lunch. 345 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,609 - Sure. - Hot biscuits. 346 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:32,405 Well, see you in court, counselor. 347 00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:34,199 [bell rings] 348 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,001 - Hi. - Hi. 349 00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:40,328 Uh, I'm just here because, uh 350 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,844 Harold got some of his paperwork mixed up with mine last night. 351 00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:46,507 Be pretty hard to defend a man on armed robbery charges 352 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,167 with Larry Finn Bart's report card. 353 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:50,875 - Yeah. - What about you? 354 00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:53,966 - I work here. - Oh, right. 355 00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:58,563 - Goodbye. - Bye. 356 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:08,319 If it please the court, may I enter as exhibit N 357 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,780 the receipt of the aforementioned blouse? 358 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,661 As you can see, the purchase price 359 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,988 'was 23,940 yen.' 360 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,116 'How, you may well ask..' 361 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,043 [softly] How's it going? 362 00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:22,461 Well, so far Janice has placed 363 00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:25,289 14 pieces of evidence before the judge. 364 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:28,375 And Dennis has been rereading his index card. 365 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,302 A lot. 366 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,130 - Oh, Mr. Moore. - Oh, sorry. 367 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,966 - 'Shh.' - Exhibit O. 368 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,181 The official exchange rate of the yen 369 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:39,271 'on the date of purchase. $180.' 370 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,388 I object! 371 00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:44,015 Sorry. Sorry, Your Honor. 372 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,773 [bangs gavel] You can't object. 373 00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:47,024 This is small claims court. 374 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,936 'The only person who can object here is me.' 375 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,065 And as for you, young lady, I object to the fact 376 00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:54,822 that you're taking up so much of the court's time. 377 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,372 - Hi. - Hi. 378 00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,790 (Janice) Very well, Your Honor. 379 00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,958 If I could beg the court's indulgence for a moment 380 00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:05,788 I will establish prima facie evidence 381 00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:07,714 of the defendant's liability. 382 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:11,173 - And stop using Latin. - Yes, sir. 383 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,125 Go ahead. 384 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,684 Charlie, I-I want to apologize 385 00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,218 for the way I acted the other night. 386 00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:18,641 It's okay, Gilda, I understand. 387 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,180 You do? 388 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,774 Actually, no. 389 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,519 Why the hell did you act like that? 390 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:25,811 I've been burned before. 391 00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,944 Well, you're not the only one who's been burned, you know. 392 00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,481 I know, but when you showed up late, uh 393 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,236 it brought back bad memories. 394 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:37,278 You'll find all the evidence you'll need in here, Your Honor. 395 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,869 See how scary that is, sir? 396 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:45,502 You do that again and I'll teach you some Latin. 397 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,631 'Is that it? Are you finished?' 398 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,418 Well, I do have an eyewitness. 399 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:52,672 You couldn't have called him sooner? 400 00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:54,804 Charlie, from our very first date, I.. 401 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,092 Plaintiff calls Charles Moore-- 402 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,005 Don't do that. I do that. 403 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:00,314 And there is no stand. 404 00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:02,927 - Are you listening? - Yes, yes, I'm listening. 405 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,225 Uh, from our first date. Uh, I'll tell you. 406 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:09,109 From the moment we met, I thought to myself.. 407 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,318 Look, I can't tell you what I thought to myself. 408 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,648 - Mr. Moore. - Yes. 409 00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:13,993 But I-I knew even then 410 00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,567 that I was gonna push things-- 411 00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:18,162 - Mr. Charles Moore. - What do you want? 412 00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:21,078 What do I want? Get up here! 413 00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:23,749 Do you swear to tell the truth-- 414 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:26,867 Don't do that! I do that too. 415 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,455 Mr. Moore, do you swear to tell the truth 416 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,841 the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God? 417 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:34,919 - Yes, I do. - Good. Now you go. 418 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:38,005 Mr. Moore, would you, please, describe to the court 419 00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:40,391 where you were on the morning of the 14th 420 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,429 at approximately 8:44? 421 00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:43,642 [clears throat] 422 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:44,852 I was, uh 423 00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:46,312 entering Fillmore High School. 424 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,851 The witness entered said building here 425 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:52,436 while the alleged perpetrator was lurking by my locker here. 426 00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:55,072 So what are you saying? You wanna call it quits? 427 00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:58,410 No, I never said that. I would like to make it work. 428 00:19:58,447 --> 00:19:59,527 That's what my ex-husband said. 429 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,373 Well, your ex-husband was a liar. 430 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,738 I am telling the truth. 431 00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:04,834 I ask the questions first 432 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,250 then you tell the truth. 433 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,248 Very well. 434 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,169 Now then, did you see the defendant 435 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,039 as you entered the building? 436 00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:14,205 [mumbling] 437 00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:16,514 - Yes, I did. - I told you what he did. 438 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,468 Yes, with the aerobics instructor. 439 00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:19,758 [clears throat] Excuse me. 440 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:23,681 You saw the defendant with an aerobics instructor? 441 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,062 No, Your Honor, with my ex-husband. 442 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:27,098 - Her ex-husband. - Uh, then continue. 443 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:30,732 Well, does that mean you're never gonna trust anybody again? 444 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:33,651 - Not unless they're under oath. - That's it! 445 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,400 What the hell is going on here? 446 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:39,032 Your Honor, I move for a mistrial 447 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,281 on the grounds that this witness 448 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:43,282 is incapable of giving coherent testimony. 449 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,742 You wanna move something? 450 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:48,206 Move your keister up here. 451 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,167 [bangs gavel] Get up here. 452 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,543 Did you put rubber snakes in her locker? 453 00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:54,535 [scoffs] Your Honor-- 454 00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:56,166 Answer the question under oath 455 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:58,673 or under penalty of perjury. 456 00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:01,295 - Uh-huh. - Good. 457 00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:02,763 You pay her 180 bucks. 458 00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:03,973 - A hundred? - Yes. 459 00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:05,512 And you, you're gonna make a good lawyer 460 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:06,635 but you're not a good lawyer yet 461 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:07,812 so you go to law school. 462 00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:09,059 And you two, you sit there 463 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,231 'you try and work things out.' 464 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,519 Me, I'm gonna take a coffee break. 465 00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:13,361 [bangs gavel] Court is in recess. 466 00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:14,687 [indistinct chatter] 467 00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:17,111 - Congratulations, Janice. - Thank you. 468 00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:18,610 Yeah. 469 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,960 Well, uh.. 470 00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:41,335 ...why don't you tell me what you want? 471 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:44,257 I don't know. 472 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,013 I, I just know I'm scared. 473 00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:49,641 I'm scared too. 474 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:53,685 But I'm not gonna let that come between us 475 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,939 whatever our relationship turns out to be, so.. 476 00:21:58,483 --> 00:21:59,993 I don't know what else I can say. 477 00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:04,277 Uh, sooner or later, it comes down to having a little faith. 478 00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:08,409 You're still under oath? 479 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:10,954 Yeah. 480 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,714 Well.. 481 00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:16,129 ...I guess that's as good as it gets. 482 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,998 - Wanna have some dinner? - Yeah. 483 00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:20,586 Okay. 484 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:29,932 This guy's one of the biggest slumlords of the city. 485 00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:31,433 I mean, you have no idea the conditions 486 00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:32,635 under which his tenants live. 487 00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:34,694 Well, they're not my clients, Charlie. He is. 488 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,518 Well, I, I don't know why you'd take this case. 489 00:22:36,563 --> 00:22:37,903 I mean, I just don't understand you. 490 00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:39,819 I knew they'd never last. I just knew it. 491 00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:42,938 How dare you presume that my client is guilty? 492 00:22:42,986 --> 00:22:44,196 Where do you wanna eat tonight? 493 00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:45,817 - Luigi's. - Ooh. 494 00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:47,824 How dare you presume he's guilty? 495 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:51,696 Counsel's copping out. Counsel's copping out. 496 00:22:51,745 --> 00:22:54,035 I think they're lasting. 497 00:22:56,750 --> 00:23:00,000 [theme music]