1 00:00:08,158 --> 00:00:10,324 Did you fold all of this? Yep. 2 00:00:10,325 --> 00:00:12,199 It's dirty, but thank you. 3 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,032 Ugh. There were so many undies in it. 4 00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:15,075 Ugh. 5 00:00:17,367 --> 00:00:18,866 You seem relaxed. 6 00:00:18,867 --> 00:00:20,324 Must be feeling good about your presentation 7 00:00:20,325 --> 00:00:22,199 for the Spring Gala. It's no biggie. 8 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,491 I just have to pitch them the theme. 9 00:00:23,492 --> 00:00:24,491 Which is? 10 00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:26,491 Um... 11 00:00:26,492 --> 00:00:27,991 The presentation is today and you don't have a theme? 12 00:00:27,992 --> 00:00:29,074 Of course I do. 13 00:00:30,575 --> 00:00:31,741 Water... 14 00:00:31,742 --> 00:00:33,282 blankets... 15 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:34,532 Are you just looking around the kitchen, 16 00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:35,657 calling out objects. 17 00:00:35,658 --> 00:00:36,408 No. 18 00:00:38,075 --> 00:00:39,574 Dirt. 19 00:00:39,575 --> 00:00:41,491 Sand. 20 00:00:41,492 --> 00:00:43,366 Beach blanket bingo! 21 00:00:43,367 --> 00:00:44,616 In your face! 22 00:00:44,617 --> 00:00:46,657 Why is it in my face? Okay, picture this. 23 00:00:46,658 --> 00:00:48,866 Everyone on giant beach towels, 24 00:00:48,867 --> 00:00:51,157 we have a picnic, and we drink that stupid pink wine. 25 00:00:51,158 --> 00:00:52,657 Maybe steel drums... 26 00:00:52,658 --> 00:00:54,366 Rinka-tink-tink-tink. 27 00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:55,866 Tink. 28 00:00:55,867 --> 00:00:57,367 Huh. That's actually a good idea, honey. 29 00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:00,782 That's actually a terrible idea, honey. 30 00:01:00,783 --> 00:01:03,949 The Spring Gala is a fundraiser, not a hoedown. 31 00:01:03,950 --> 00:01:06,157 The whole thing is about raising money. 32 00:01:06,158 --> 00:01:08,200 You want people to open their pockets. 33 00:01:09,825 --> 00:01:11,824 You can take the girl out of Florida... 34 00:01:11,825 --> 00:01:13,407 Oh, great. I was hoping 35 00:01:13,408 --> 00:01:15,366 for a smart-ass 13 year old's opinion. 36 00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:16,949 At your service. 37 00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:19,407 You need a theme to get people spending. 38 00:01:19,408 --> 00:01:22,824 Something that says "class," "decadence," "money." 39 00:01:22,825 --> 00:01:24,449 Mine will have class. 40 00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:27,616 I'm gonna rename the bathrooms "cabanas." 41 00:01:27,617 --> 00:01:28,699 Stop. 42 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:30,157 It needs to be opulent. 43 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:33,491 Like a "Great Gatsby" party. Or, uh, Bollywood. 44 00:01:33,492 --> 00:01:34,991 Nothing says "Write a big check" 45 00:01:34,992 --> 00:01:36,657 like an elephant cloaked in velvet, 46 00:01:36,658 --> 00:01:39,407 or a one-twelfth scale Taj Mahal made out of white chocolate. 47 00:01:39,408 --> 00:01:40,866 You know what's easier? 48 00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,449 Buying a bunch of blankets. 49 00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:43,616 I'm doing this my way. 50 00:01:43,617 --> 00:01:44,824 But-- 51 00:01:44,825 --> 00:01:46,407 Oh, my God. 52 00:01:46,408 --> 00:01:48,074 Yeah, blankets. Can't miss. 53 00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:50,366 I have the perfect theme for your Gala, Mama. 54 00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:52,199 "Let's get a dog!" 55 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,449 In case I haven't been clear, 56 00:01:53,450 --> 00:01:56,074 we are never, ever getting a dog, ever. 57 00:01:56,075 --> 00:01:57,782 It's like having another kid, except it sheds 58 00:01:57,783 --> 00:01:59,782 and digs tampons out of the trash. 59 00:01:59,783 --> 00:02:01,116 Fine. 60 00:02:01,117 --> 00:02:02,907 Thanks for the backup, Franklin. 61 00:02:02,908 --> 00:02:04,991 Where was that "Great thinking, Anna-Kat" 62 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:06,491 that we talked about? 63 00:02:06,492 --> 00:02:08,199 What's a tampon? 64 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,032 I'm not Google, Franklin. 65 00:02:11,033 --> 00:02:12,866 Hey, guys. My boyfriend's here. 66 00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:14,532 Please don't embarrass me. Hey, Eyo. 67 00:02:14,533 --> 00:02:17,032 ♪ Eyoooooo, Eyooooo ♪ 68 00:02:17,033 --> 00:02:18,282 Or just ignore me. 69 00:02:18,283 --> 00:02:20,407 Quite a set of pipes, Mr. Otto! 70 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,032 What are you guys up to? 71 00:02:22,033 --> 00:02:23,949 Taylor and I are gonna do some English homework. 72 00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:25,324 Great. And, Taylor, remember, 73 00:02:25,325 --> 00:02:26,532 don't copy word-for-word. 74 00:02:26,533 --> 00:02:28,032 Mix it up a little bit. 75 00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,574 I almost killed myself 76 00:02:29,575 --> 00:02:31,074 on that big box by the door! 77 00:02:31,075 --> 00:02:32,116 It's here! 78 00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:33,532 Eyo, give me a hand. 79 00:02:33,533 --> 00:02:34,991 Dad, get friends. 80 00:02:34,992 --> 00:02:36,908 She's joking. I've got, like, so many friends. 81 00:02:40,033 --> 00:02:41,699 I thought I smelled kale. 82 00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:42,741 What do you want, Tara? 83 00:02:42,742 --> 00:02:43,824 Just making sure everything's safe 84 00:02:43,825 --> 00:02:45,782 in this lawless house. 85 00:02:45,783 --> 00:02:47,866 I trust you have a vegan lunch option for Eyo. 86 00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:50,574 We're vegan now. Tara, you're already the worst. 87 00:02:50,575 --> 00:02:51,907 Stop trying so hard. 88 00:02:51,908 --> 00:02:54,074 Okay, coming through. 89 00:02:54,075 --> 00:02:55,741 Oh. 90 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:56,741 Here we go. 91 00:02:56,742 --> 00:02:57,782 Oh! 92 00:02:57,783 --> 00:02:59,200 Okay, good. That needed to be broken. 93 00:03:00,408 --> 00:03:01,782 So did the piano. 94 00:03:01,783 --> 00:03:02,699 And your shoe. 95 00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,491 Your shoe just fell off. 96 00:03:04,492 --> 00:03:06,491 And if you could dent the door on your way out, 97 00:03:06,492 --> 00:03:07,407 that'd be great. 98 00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:09,657 Yeah, one second. 99 00:03:09,658 --> 00:03:10,782 Who are you talking to? 100 00:03:10,783 --> 00:03:11,657 It's Nunya. 101 00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,157 Who's that? 102 00:03:13,158 --> 00:03:14,949 Nunya business. 103 00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:16,074 One of these days, I'm gonna realize 104 00:03:16,075 --> 00:03:17,949 that "nunya" isn't a person. 105 00:03:17,950 --> 00:03:20,866 So, have you picked out your theme yet for the Spring Gala? 106 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,282 Because I have a suggestion. 107 00:03:22,283 --> 00:03:25,366 Call it, "Katie" colon "The Great Failure" comma 108 00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:28,157 "Everyone Saw it Coming" dash dash "She Sucks." 109 00:03:28,158 --> 00:03:29,741 I got it covered, Tara. 110 00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:31,366 I'm thinking "Beef Jerky," 111 00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:35,616 "The Final Frontier" or "Mmm, Meat." 112 00:03:35,617 --> 00:03:36,907 I'm leaving. 113 00:03:36,908 --> 00:03:39,157 Call or text or e-mail 114 00:03:39,158 --> 00:03:41,699 or post on Facebook if Eyo needs anything. 115 00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:45,782 Here's his EpiPen and some toilet seat covers. 116 00:03:45,783 --> 00:03:48,491 You send toilet seat covers with him everywhere he goes? 117 00:03:48,492 --> 00:03:49,533 No. 118 00:03:51,158 --> 00:03:53,699 Good slam, Tara. Here's mine. 119 00:04:05,117 --> 00:04:06,574 {\an8}While I've got you here, I wonder if you might 120 00:04:06,575 --> 00:04:08,741 {\an8}put in a good word with Taylor about college. 121 00:04:08,742 --> 00:04:10,616 {\an8}Sure. Probably would have come up anyway. 122 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:11,824 {\an8}School's the best! 123 00:04:11,825 --> 00:04:13,782 {\an8}Thanks. Great talk. 124 00:04:13,783 --> 00:04:16,324 {\an8}Sorry we're standing closer than I expected. 125 00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:18,116 {\an8}Hi, Mrs. Otto. How are you? 126 00:04:18,117 --> 00:04:19,782 {\an8}Saw you three minutes ago. 127 00:04:19,783 --> 00:04:23,032 {\an8}Hey, you with the box, is this our next fight? 128 00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:25,241 You're gonna love it. It's a roasting box. 129 00:04:25,242 --> 00:04:26,324 You can cook a whole pig in here. 130 00:04:26,325 --> 00:04:28,407 {\an8}I saw one on Anthony Bourdain's show. 131 00:04:28,408 --> 00:04:30,074 {\an8}He was in Guatemala cooking with the locals. 132 00:04:30,075 --> 00:04:31,324 {\an8}He was wearing a tank top. 133 00:04:31,325 --> 00:04:32,491 {\an8}Oh, Greg, would you please, 134 00:04:32,492 --> 00:04:34,866 {\an8}for me, watch something with dragons? 135 00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:36,199 {\an8}Once I fire this up, you're gonna realize 136 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,074 {\an8}we need a Caja China roasting box. 137 00:04:38,075 --> 00:04:41,324 {\an8}No. I need to change our Amazon password. Think about it. 138 00:04:41,325 --> 00:04:43,282 {\an8}We could finally have a barbecue for all our friends. 139 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,241 {\an8}So... 140 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,032 {\an8}Angela and Doris? 141 00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:48,616 How long does it take to cook a pig? Just half a day. 142 00:04:48,617 --> 00:04:50,491 As long as I constantly monitor it, stoke the coals, 143 00:04:50,492 --> 00:04:52,491 and make sure the temperature remains exactly correct. 144 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:53,741 {\an8}We both know that this is going to end 145 00:04:53,742 --> 00:04:55,657 {\an8}with Anna-Kat forcing us to have a funeral 146 00:04:55,658 --> 00:04:57,699 {\an8}for a partially-cooked pig carcass, 147 00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,532 {\an8}and I can't fit into my funeral dress right now. 148 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:00,741 I don't need this, Greg. Yeah, but-- 149 00:05:00,742 --> 00:05:02,241 {\an8}I'm afraid I have to shut this down. 150 00:05:02,242 --> 00:05:04,116 {\an8}But-- I'm shutting it down. 151 00:05:04,117 --> 00:05:05,574 {\an8}You're probably right. 152 00:05:05,575 --> 00:05:07,200 {\an8}I don't really have the arms for a tank top anyway. 153 00:05:09,658 --> 00:05:12,407 {\an8}"No, honey, you definitely have the arms for a tank top." 154 00:05:12,408 --> 00:05:14,116 Well, I think it could be fun. 155 00:05:14,117 --> 00:05:15,616 It's a bad idea, Franklin. 156 00:05:15,617 --> 00:05:17,991 It's a hard "no." Discussion's over. 157 00:05:17,992 --> 00:05:19,074 But-- 158 00:05:19,075 --> 00:05:20,450 I said over. 159 00:05:22,158 --> 00:05:23,949 I guess you're right. 160 00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:25,907 Anna-Kat, can we talk to you in my office? 161 00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,282 Uh-oh. 162 00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:28,907 Franklin, this might be a while. 163 00:05:28,908 --> 00:05:30,824 If you still need to go number two, 164 00:05:30,825 --> 00:05:31,783 here's your window. 165 00:05:34,783 --> 00:05:36,032 Your parents like me? 166 00:05:36,033 --> 00:05:37,491 Let's see who you've been talking to. Hey! 167 00:05:37,492 --> 00:05:39,157 Alice McCarthy?! 168 00:05:39,158 --> 00:05:40,199 I thought she dumped you! 169 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,574 Are you crazy? 170 00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:43,866 Alice McCarthy? 171 00:05:43,867 --> 00:05:45,157 Yeah, I thought he stopped picking up 172 00:05:45,158 --> 00:05:46,782 what she was putting down. 173 00:05:46,783 --> 00:05:47,741 Did I say that right? 174 00:05:47,742 --> 00:05:49,782 Yeah. 175 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,241 Do I have to be here for this? Sit. 176 00:05:52,242 --> 00:05:54,116 You were very rude to Franklin. 177 00:05:54,117 --> 00:05:55,741 But I didn't like his idea. 178 00:05:55,742 --> 00:05:58,032 You can't shut people down like that. 179 00:05:58,033 --> 00:05:59,283 Where did you get that from? 180 00:06:01,283 --> 00:06:02,491 Why are you looking at me? 181 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,157 If you keep rejecting people's ideas, 182 00:06:04,158 --> 00:06:05,616 they won't be your friend. 183 00:06:05,617 --> 00:06:07,407 That's true, honey. It's important that we support 184 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,657 the people we care about. Okay? 185 00:06:09,658 --> 00:06:11,241 Okay. So, for instance, 186 00:06:11,242 --> 00:06:12,574 if Franklin loved Anthony Bourdain 187 00:06:12,575 --> 00:06:13,782 and wanted to throw a pig roast... 188 00:06:13,783 --> 00:06:15,824 Oh, that's why you were looking at me. 189 00:06:15,825 --> 00:06:17,074 ...what would you say to him? 190 00:06:17,075 --> 00:06:18,782 I'd say, "Weird, Franklin, 191 00:06:18,783 --> 00:06:20,657 but it sounds like a great idea"? 192 00:06:20,658 --> 00:06:22,991 Right. And what would you say, Katie? 193 00:06:22,992 --> 00:06:25,491 I would be forced to say, 194 00:06:25,492 --> 00:06:27,866 "That sounds like a great idea," too. 195 00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:29,157 So, it's settled. We're gonna have a barbecue 196 00:06:29,158 --> 00:06:30,449 for all our friends! 197 00:06:30,450 --> 00:06:31,282 So... 198 00:06:31,283 --> 00:06:32,325 Angela and Doris? 199 00:06:39,617 --> 00:06:41,574 You know, you can roast 18 whole chickens in here? 200 00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,449 18? Oh, thank God. 201 00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:44,824 I was worried what would happen if we had to cook 202 00:06:44,825 --> 00:06:46,366 17 more than usual. 203 00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:47,407 You know, Katie, 204 00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,074 this is where Anna-Kat gets it from. 205 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,782 She sees you shutting down my ideas 206 00:06:50,783 --> 00:06:53,032 and does the same thing to poor, defenseless Franklin. 207 00:06:53,033 --> 00:06:56,491 Yeah, but she also has my winning smile. 208 00:06:56,492 --> 00:06:58,032 Ding. I'm serious. 209 00:06:58,033 --> 00:07:00,324 You need to just say "okay" to me sometimes, like I do for you. 210 00:07:00,325 --> 00:07:02,449 I say "okay" to you all the time. 211 00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:04,282 Yeah, but that's because my ideas are always good. 212 00:07:04,283 --> 00:07:05,449 Really? 213 00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:06,866 Pull that thing off the steering wheel. 214 00:07:06,867 --> 00:07:07,532 It's driving me crazy. 215 00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:09,699 Okay. 216 00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:12,199 It wasn't funny. 217 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,824 I know. I know. 218 00:07:13,825 --> 00:07:15,907 It was just the look on your face when it hit you. 219 00:07:15,908 --> 00:07:19,657 I'm sorry. 220 00:07:19,658 --> 00:07:21,824 I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt if, once in a while, 221 00:07:21,825 --> 00:07:24,116 you supported me the way that I support you. 222 00:07:24,117 --> 00:07:26,907 Fine, I'll okay this, but-- No. No. 223 00:07:26,908 --> 00:07:29,199 No "Okay, buts." Just, "Okay." 224 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,407 Ohh-kaaay. You know what? 225 00:07:31,408 --> 00:07:32,699 You can't say it like that. Not sing-songy. 226 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,074 Sorry. This is new to me. 227 00:07:34,075 --> 00:07:36,657 It's very hard to suppress my natural critical instincts. 228 00:07:36,658 --> 00:07:38,491 But fine. 229 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,282 I'm saying... 230 00:07:40,283 --> 00:07:41,616 okay. 231 00:07:41,617 --> 00:07:43,532 Thank you. 232 00:07:43,533 --> 00:07:45,241 Now, do you want to practice your presentation 233 00:07:45,242 --> 00:07:47,699 for the Spring Gala? Eh. I'll just wing it. 234 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,491 The school takes these events very seriously. 235 00:07:49,492 --> 00:07:51,407 Maybe winging it isn't the best idea. 236 00:07:51,408 --> 00:07:53,199 Hey, if I can't second-guess your pig coffin, 237 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,866 there's no way you're allowed to second-guess me on this. 238 00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:59,324 Ohh-kaaay. 239 00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:01,241 Yeah, I can see how that's annoying. 240 00:08:01,242 --> 00:08:02,657 Mm. 241 00:08:05,617 --> 00:08:07,991 But it's not so easy being supportive of him. 242 00:08:07,992 --> 00:08:10,116 And I don't have a good supportive smile. 243 00:08:10,117 --> 00:08:11,282 It looks like there's a gun to my head 244 00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,616 and I'm trying to convince the police 245 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,282 that there's not an intruder inside. 246 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,366 What you need is one of these. 247 00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:19,824 It's a complaint bracelet. 248 00:08:19,825 --> 00:08:21,616 I read about it in Good Housekeeping. 249 00:08:21,617 --> 00:08:22,949 Every time you want to scream at your husband 250 00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:25,574 for some boneheaded idea... 251 00:08:25,575 --> 00:08:26,491 ...you snap it... 252 00:08:26,492 --> 00:08:27,782 so you don't snap at him for buying 253 00:08:27,783 --> 00:08:30,282 thousands of dollars of movie memorabilia. 254 00:08:39,575 --> 00:08:40,991 Does that work? 255 00:08:40,992 --> 00:08:42,699 He's a pain in the ass and I'm a living nightmare-- 256 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:43,907 still married! 257 00:08:43,908 --> 00:08:45,157 I love it. 258 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,032 I gotta get one. Oh, take mine. 259 00:08:47,033 --> 00:08:48,657 I get a new shipment every week. 260 00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:51,324 Mm. Maybe it'll also help you deal with the Spring Gala. 261 00:08:51,325 --> 00:08:52,907 I am not one of those uptight moms. 262 00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,699 It is a party, and it's six months away. 263 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,616 I'm not gonna let these people drive me crazy. 264 00:08:56,617 --> 00:08:58,532 That's what last year's Spring Gala chairwoman, 265 00:08:58,533 --> 00:08:59,699 Stacy Clouser, said. 266 00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:00,991 Then she had a nervous breakdown, 267 00:09:00,992 --> 00:09:02,574 had to move in with her parents 268 00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:05,157 and now isn't allowed to have stuffed animals. 269 00:09:05,158 --> 00:09:06,866 Because she eats them. 270 00:09:06,867 --> 00:09:08,574 That's not gonna happen to me. 271 00:09:08,575 --> 00:09:10,782 Okay, and now you're being annoying. 272 00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:12,532 Which reminds me of Greg. 273 00:09:12,533 --> 00:09:13,991 Which reminds me... 274 00:09:13,992 --> 00:09:15,741 You're the guests of honor at Greg's barbecue. 275 00:09:15,742 --> 00:09:17,241 And by "honor" 276 00:09:17,242 --> 00:09:18,950 I mean you're the only guests. 277 00:09:22,742 --> 00:09:24,991 All right, it's all set. Now I just need the pig. 278 00:09:24,992 --> 00:09:28,574 Okay, sounds great. 279 00:09:28,575 --> 00:09:31,491 Why are you allowing this? What does he have on you? 280 00:09:31,492 --> 00:09:33,616 Your dad asked if we could throw a barbecue, 281 00:09:33,617 --> 00:09:36,032 and I said... okay. 282 00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,866 See? It's important to be supportive 283 00:09:37,867 --> 00:09:39,117 of your friends' ideas. 284 00:09:40,617 --> 00:09:43,324 Then we should be supportive of my idea to get a dog. 285 00:09:43,325 --> 00:09:45,032 I'm not your friend. I'm your mother. 286 00:09:45,033 --> 00:09:46,741 We'll be friends when you're old enough to drink. 287 00:09:47,783 --> 00:09:49,699 Ooh, Alice. I got to take this. 288 00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:50,907 Go for Oliver. 289 00:09:50,908 --> 00:09:52,158 Unh-unh! 290 00:09:54,283 --> 00:09:56,282 What have you done?! She's bad news. 291 00:09:56,283 --> 00:09:57,824 She broke your heart when she chose that 292 00:09:57,825 --> 00:09:59,449 hunky Kurt Brockwell over you. 293 00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:00,824 Kurt Brockwell's 14. 294 00:10:00,825 --> 00:10:01,866 Might be 15 now. 295 00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:03,366 We all know what she did. 296 00:10:03,367 --> 00:10:05,491 But she's the perfect balance of hot and rich. 297 00:10:05,492 --> 00:10:07,991 If she wants me back, I'm crawling back! 298 00:10:07,992 --> 00:10:09,157 Dad, help me out here. 299 00:10:09,158 --> 00:10:11,824 Sorry, buddy, not this time. 300 00:10:11,825 --> 00:10:14,699 We Otto men have a long, proud history of being wusses 301 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,074 and rolling over for our women, but that ends now. 302 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:19,616 It does? Yes. Today we make a stand. 303 00:10:19,617 --> 00:10:21,699 We roast pigs in boxes, even though it's been questioned 304 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:22,949 every step of the way. 305 00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,199 And we don't take calls from girls 306 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,282 who've broken our hearts-- 307 00:10:25,283 --> 00:10:26,824 Can we let the call go to voicemail 308 00:10:26,825 --> 00:10:29,032 and listen to their sweet voices whenever we want? 309 00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:31,407 No. That's creepy. 310 00:10:31,408 --> 00:10:33,241 It's time for the Otto men to break 311 00:10:33,242 --> 00:10:34,532 the wuss chains and man up! 312 00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:36,324 Are you with me?! 313 00:10:36,325 --> 00:10:38,407 I'm with you! Let's go get that pig! 314 00:10:38,408 --> 00:10:40,032 Great. Now grab your sweater! 315 00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:42,116 Yes! It gets breezy in the late afternoon! 316 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,741 High school's great, 317 00:10:51,742 --> 00:10:53,282 but I can't wait to get to college. 318 00:10:53,283 --> 00:10:54,949 You know, you get to be on your own-- 319 00:10:54,950 --> 00:10:56,407 Did my dad put you up to this? 320 00:10:56,408 --> 00:10:59,282 Well, yeah, but he's not wrong. 321 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,574 College is where you get to focus on 322 00:11:00,575 --> 00:11:01,907 what you're passionate about. 323 00:11:01,908 --> 00:11:04,407 For me, it's about becoming an anesthesiologist. 324 00:11:04,408 --> 00:11:07,574 That's your passion? To be an anesthesiologist? 325 00:11:07,575 --> 00:11:09,949 That and finally trying bologna. 326 00:11:09,950 --> 00:11:13,074 Anesthesiology is what your mom wants you to do. 327 00:11:13,075 --> 00:11:16,282 You should do something that you care about. 328 00:11:16,283 --> 00:11:19,324 Like this! You're always drawing these cartoons. 329 00:11:19,325 --> 00:11:20,991 They're not cartoons. It's called manga. 330 00:11:20,992 --> 00:11:22,532 It's a Japanese form of comic books. 331 00:11:22,533 --> 00:11:24,991 Okay, whatever it's called, you clearly love it. 332 00:11:24,992 --> 00:11:27,366 This is what you should do with your life. 333 00:11:28,658 --> 00:11:30,116 Is this a cat wearing a bra? 334 00:11:30,117 --> 00:11:31,949 Yeah, he solves crimes. 335 00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,074 Hey. 336 00:11:42,075 --> 00:11:43,741 Greg Otto. 337 00:11:43,742 --> 00:11:44,991 I'm here to pick up the pig we ordered 338 00:11:44,992 --> 00:11:47,782 so we can cook it like, you know... men. 339 00:11:47,783 --> 00:11:49,116 I got you all set up. 340 00:11:50,658 --> 00:11:52,699 One second. 341 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:55,116 Hey, Alice. 342 00:11:55,117 --> 00:11:56,949 No, I-I don't think I can go on 343 00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,407 your parents' yacht this weekend. 344 00:11:59,408 --> 00:12:00,825 I got another call. Gotta go. 345 00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:04,116 I didn't have another call. 346 00:12:04,117 --> 00:12:07,407 You just earned yourself a fat stack of man cards. 347 00:12:08,575 --> 00:12:10,241 You're gonna feed seven? Yeah. 348 00:12:10,242 --> 00:12:13,241 I'd suggest Louise or R.J. 349 00:12:13,242 --> 00:12:14,824 Uh... 350 00:12:14,825 --> 00:12:16,449 when I ordered the pig online, 351 00:12:16,450 --> 00:12:18,282 I was under the impression it wouldn't be so... 352 00:12:18,283 --> 00:12:19,574 alive. 353 00:12:19,575 --> 00:12:22,366 Well, we only sell live pigs. 354 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,407 Now, what you can do is take it to the butcher down the road. 355 00:12:24,408 --> 00:12:25,866 He'll slaughter, gut, and dress 356 00:12:25,867 --> 00:12:27,699 any one of these little guys for you. 357 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,949 Or you can do it yourself. 358 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:30,824 Is there a problem? 359 00:12:30,825 --> 00:12:33,032 No, no, no. It's no problem. 360 00:12:33,033 --> 00:12:34,574 I made an enormous deal about a pig roast, 361 00:12:34,575 --> 00:12:36,782 so we are roasting a pig. 362 00:12:36,783 --> 00:12:39,449 R.J., if you have any female spider friends, 363 00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,866 they have about 5 minutes to work their magic. 364 00:12:46,742 --> 00:12:48,116 How's it going out here? 365 00:12:48,117 --> 00:12:49,574 I just have to cook it another couple of hours 366 00:12:49,575 --> 00:12:50,657 and then I get to flip it! 367 00:12:50,658 --> 00:12:52,449 It's going better than I expected. 368 00:12:52,450 --> 00:12:54,407 All of our friends are going to be so impressed. 369 00:12:54,408 --> 00:12:55,741 So Angela and Doris? 370 00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,075 Yeah. 371 00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:03,699 We're going to need more chocolate syrup. 372 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:04,617 A lot more. 373 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,616 We could be in Mexico in 17 hours. 374 00:13:08,617 --> 00:13:10,616 How do you know-- I just know, Greg. 375 00:13:13,867 --> 00:13:15,907 What in the world are you two doing?! 376 00:13:15,908 --> 00:13:18,907 Anna-Kat, what has gotten into you? 377 00:13:18,908 --> 00:13:20,699 I'm just doing what you told me to do. 378 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,241 Yeah, honey, "No TV until you destroy your room." 379 00:13:23,242 --> 00:13:24,657 Pretty sure I never said that. 380 00:13:24,658 --> 00:13:26,282 Franklin wanted to turn my room 381 00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:28,282 into Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. 382 00:13:28,283 --> 00:13:30,574 I told him it was stupid, but then you said 383 00:13:30,575 --> 00:13:32,532 I should say, "Okay." 384 00:13:32,533 --> 00:13:33,616 So here we are. 385 00:13:33,617 --> 00:13:35,491 Anna-Kat, you should've stopped him. 386 00:13:35,492 --> 00:13:37,741 Because, even though we need to be supported... 387 00:13:37,742 --> 00:13:41,616 ...sometimes boys have ideas that need to be shut down. 388 00:13:41,617 --> 00:13:45,407 We're not talking about Franklin anymore, are we? 389 00:13:48,617 --> 00:13:49,824 Was that our dinner? 390 00:13:49,825 --> 00:13:51,533 His name is R.J. 391 00:13:56,950 --> 00:13:58,116 Who's a good boy? You're a good boy. 392 00:13:58,117 --> 00:13:59,366 You're a good boy. Get down. Get down. Get down. 393 00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:00,866 This is why I don't say "Okay." 394 00:14:00,867 --> 00:14:02,199 I know. 395 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,741 Why didn't you just return him? 396 00:14:03,742 --> 00:14:05,741 'Cause he's so sweet, and if I brought him back, 397 00:14:05,742 --> 00:14:07,282 they'd just sell him to someone else who'd eat him. 398 00:14:07,283 --> 00:14:09,158 Yeah. Because he's food. 399 00:14:11,658 --> 00:14:13,366 What are you doing? It's a complaint bracelet. 400 00:14:13,367 --> 00:14:14,949 You snap it so you don't tell your husband 401 00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:16,282 what an idiot he is. 402 00:14:16,283 --> 00:14:17,449 If I hadn't brought a pig in this house, 403 00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:19,116 I'd have a real problem with you wearing that. 404 00:14:19,117 --> 00:14:20,532 If the pig is in our bedroom, 405 00:14:20,533 --> 00:14:22,407 then what are you cooking in that box? 406 00:14:22,408 --> 00:14:24,407 Two briskets. I stopped by the deli on the way home. 407 00:14:24,408 --> 00:14:25,741 I don't have time for this right now. 408 00:14:25,742 --> 00:14:27,366 I have to give my presentation to the Gala Board. 409 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,657 Do you want to rehearse with me? 410 00:14:28,658 --> 00:14:30,574 Nah, I got this. 411 00:14:30,575 --> 00:14:33,491 Are you sure? You're not the greatest at winging it. 412 00:14:33,492 --> 00:14:35,282 You tried to wing our wedding vows and wound up just 413 00:14:35,283 --> 00:14:36,949 repeating my vows back to me, only adding a few 414 00:14:36,950 --> 00:14:38,199 "totally totally's." 415 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,866 Like, I said, "You are my sun and moon," 416 00:14:39,867 --> 00:14:41,532 and when it was your turn, you said, 417 00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:43,407 "You are totally totally my sun and moon." 418 00:14:43,408 --> 00:14:45,782 Stop worrying about my presentation. 419 00:14:45,783 --> 00:14:48,407 It's just three ding-aling moms sitting around a lunch table. 420 00:14:48,408 --> 00:14:50,199 They'll hear "beach blanket bingo" 421 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,907 and be so happy that they'll have to get emergency Botox 422 00:14:52,908 --> 00:14:53,907 to hide their smile lines. 423 00:14:53,908 --> 00:14:56,824 Oh, my God! We got a weird dog! 424 00:14:56,825 --> 00:15:00,199 Hi. Hi, weird dog. 425 00:15:07,825 --> 00:15:09,616 Tara. Katie. 426 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:10,949 Of course you're on the committee. 427 00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:12,782 No, I'm here for fun. 428 00:15:12,783 --> 00:15:14,866 I cleared my schedule to watch you crash and burn 429 00:15:14,867 --> 00:15:15,782 from the audience. 430 00:15:15,783 --> 00:15:16,824 Audience? 431 00:15:16,825 --> 00:15:18,450 Mm-hmm. 432 00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:23,950 Pwooh. 433 00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:27,782 What is wrong with these people? 434 00:15:27,783 --> 00:15:29,866 It is just a theme for a dumb fundraiser. 435 00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:32,949 Don't freak out. Think of something happy. 436 00:15:32,950 --> 00:15:35,949 God, that airbag hit Greg in the face so hard. 437 00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:45,657 Fun. Casual. Picnic baskets... 438 00:15:45,658 --> 00:15:48,991 that pink wine... 439 00:15:48,992 --> 00:15:51,532 sitting on blankets... 440 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:52,908 sand... 441 00:15:56,408 --> 00:15:58,700 macaroni salad... 442 00:16:04,617 --> 00:16:08,782 ...is what Tara Summers suggested we do. 443 00:16:08,783 --> 00:16:14,991 But I told Tara, "This is a fundraiser, not a hoedown." 444 00:16:14,992 --> 00:16:17,242 Silly, stupid Tara. 445 00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:22,907 What I'm pitching, against Tara's advice, is Bollywood! 446 00:16:22,908 --> 00:16:24,366 With more spectacle and pageantry 447 00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:25,657 than you can even imagine. 448 00:16:25,658 --> 00:16:27,324 Yes. Yes! 449 00:16:27,325 --> 00:16:30,616 Picture the opulence of a white chocolate Taj Mahal. 450 00:16:30,617 --> 00:16:34,074 Delicious food, all meat-based. 451 00:16:34,075 --> 00:16:37,991 And dancers with curvy swords wearing gold M.C. Hammer pants. 452 00:16:39,242 --> 00:16:41,199 She knows what I'm talkin' about! 453 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:46,782 And, for our big finale, we are going to have... 454 00:16:48,325 --> 00:16:49,699 What are we gonna have? 455 00:16:50,908 --> 00:16:52,366 Elephants! 456 00:16:52,367 --> 00:16:56,366 That's right, elephants cloaked in velvet! 457 00:16:56,367 --> 00:16:58,700 And who's riding that elephant? 458 00:17:00,450 --> 00:17:02,866 Who, Katie? Who's riding the elephant? 459 00:17:02,867 --> 00:17:06,366 Who's gonna get that lady all excited? 460 00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:09,783 Nathan Fillion from ABC's "Castle"! 461 00:17:11,325 --> 00:17:13,491 I love Castle! 462 00:17:13,492 --> 00:17:14,866 He's my Hall Pass. 463 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,199 Yes! 464 00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,366 I am so screwed. 465 00:17:35,367 --> 00:17:36,407 We tried to warn you. 466 00:17:36,408 --> 00:17:38,282 You know Nathan Fillion? 467 00:17:38,283 --> 00:17:40,699 Doris, you and I have talked for at least 10,000 hours. 468 00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:42,533 Don't you think you'd know if I knew Nathan Fillion?! 469 00:17:44,117 --> 00:17:45,241 That's for you. 470 00:17:45,242 --> 00:17:47,032 I'm not good at winging it. 471 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:49,282 I can't believe I'm saying this to a man bottle-feeding a pig, 472 00:17:49,283 --> 00:17:51,032 but I should have listened to you. 473 00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:52,866 But instead, I listened to you. 474 00:17:52,867 --> 00:17:54,241 Why did I listen to you? 475 00:17:54,242 --> 00:17:56,241 We're not men, we're Ottos! 476 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,324 I should be with Alice on her boat right now, 477 00:17:58,325 --> 00:18:00,282 sitting at the raw bar in my just-the-right-amount-of-tight 478 00:18:00,283 --> 00:18:03,407 European-style swimsuit. 479 00:18:03,408 --> 00:18:04,991 You were right. I should have let you stop me. 480 00:18:04,992 --> 00:18:07,991 No, you were right, too. I shouldn't have winged it. 481 00:18:07,992 --> 00:18:09,616 It's just hard to know when to say "okay" 482 00:18:09,617 --> 00:18:11,157 and when to stop a dumb idea. 483 00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:13,074 So I guess we just have to support one another, 484 00:18:13,075 --> 00:18:15,574 hope for the best, and deal with the fallout together. 485 00:18:15,575 --> 00:18:17,116 Deal. 486 00:18:17,117 --> 00:18:18,657 Oh, good, I'm glad you're agreeing, 'cause... 487 00:18:18,658 --> 00:18:20,574 while you were gone, the pig chewed that 488 00:18:20,575 --> 00:18:23,449 Coach purse you picked up at the school lost and found. 489 00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,741 I'm sawwy. 490 00:18:25,742 --> 00:18:27,282 I can't believe 491 00:18:27,283 --> 00:18:28,949 you humiliated me in front of the Board of Directors. 492 00:18:28,950 --> 00:18:30,949 I can't believe you can't believe I wouldn't do that. 493 00:18:30,950 --> 00:18:32,657 You know what? It was worth it. 494 00:18:32,658 --> 00:18:33,949 Because there's no way that you're gonna pull off 495 00:18:33,950 --> 00:18:35,949 even half of those promises. 496 00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:37,741 The Board will crucify you. 497 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:38,741 And I'll be there to watch. 498 00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:41,157 What is this?! 499 00:18:41,158 --> 00:18:42,825 A turkey. 500 00:18:43,950 --> 00:18:45,824 Eyo! We're leaving. 501 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,241 Hey, Mom. 502 00:18:47,242 --> 00:18:48,907 Did you and Taylor talk about college? 503 00:18:48,908 --> 00:18:50,699 We did. And? 504 00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:53,366 And... 505 00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:56,199 I've decided I don't want to be an anesthesiologist. 506 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,157 What? 507 00:18:58,158 --> 00:18:59,782 I'm gonna study manga. 508 00:18:59,783 --> 00:19:01,949 What?! Manga is my passion. 509 00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:05,532 No. Safely sedating a patient before surgery is your passion! 510 00:19:05,533 --> 00:19:07,032 One afternoon in this house 511 00:19:07,033 --> 00:19:10,282 and he wants to throw his life away on doodles! 512 00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:12,324 Bye, Tara. See you never, I hope. 513 00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:14,366 Not kidding. Hey, you, get out. 514 00:19:14,367 --> 00:19:16,657 So, instead of him convincing you to go to college, 515 00:19:16,658 --> 00:19:18,741 somehow you convinced him not to go to college? 516 00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:21,199 I just supported him like you guys have been talking about. 517 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,449 You kids honestly picked the worst time to listen to us. 518 00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:24,741 Yeah. 519 00:19:27,325 --> 00:19:28,824 Don't mind us! We'll store it in the garage. 520 00:19:28,825 --> 00:19:31,158 Oh, good, dent the other door. Even things out. 521 00:19:32,533 --> 00:19:34,949 Hup, that lamp needed a good knocking-over. 522 00:19:34,950 --> 00:19:36,783 Oh, we cleared the piano. 523 00:19:40,617 --> 00:19:43,616 Oh, no! You broke the ceramic owl your mother gave us. 524 00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:44,699 You did that on purpose. 525 00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:46,949 True, but you brought home a live pig. 526 00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:48,116 How long are you gonna play the pig card? 527 00:19:48,117 --> 00:19:49,241 How long does a pig live? 528 00:19:49,242 --> 00:19:50,657 On average, about 15 years. 529 00:19:50,658 --> 00:19:52,074 Oh, crap. 530 00:20:02,742 --> 00:20:04,782 Me and Hans Gruber are going upstairs. 531 00:20:04,783 --> 00:20:06,366 I'm going to give him a bath. 532 00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:08,366 You renamed the pig Hans Gruber? 533 00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:10,241 Yeah. He tried to kill Bruce Willis 534 00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:11,699 in my new favorite movie, "Die Hard." 535 00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:12,907 You watched "Die Hard"? 536 00:20:12,908 --> 00:20:14,574 Yeah, with Mama. 537 00:20:14,575 --> 00:20:17,199 Sweetie, what is the rule 538 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,741 about Mama/Anna-Kat movie time? 539 00:20:19,742 --> 00:20:22,158 {\an8}"If Daddy asks, we always watched 'Despicable Me.'" 540 00:20:23,950 --> 00:20:25,241 {\an8}Oh, right. 541 00:20:25,242 --> 00:20:26,617 {\an8}Hans Gruber's a minion. 542 00:20:32,783 --> 00:20:36,907 {\an8}In my defense, you weren't supposed to find out about it. 543 00:20:36,908 --> 00:20:39,199 {\an8}It's a good defense.