1
00:00:25,582 --> 00:00:27,001
SCRANTON WELCOMES YOU

2
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:58,102
Jim, your quarterly numbers look good.

3
00:00:58,603 --> 00:01:00,604
How are things going with the library?

4
00:01:00,687 --> 00:01:03,022
I couldn't complete the contract...

5
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:06,106
So you came to the master,
to ask him for advice.

6
00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,734
Is that what you want to say, grasshopper?

7
00:01:09,318 --> 00:01:10,860
You summoned me here

8
00:01:10,943 --> 00:01:12,028
but yes.

9
00:01:12,110 --> 00:01:14,320
Ok, I'll show you how to do this.

10
00:01:14,403 --> 00:01:16,446
Yes, I would like to speak to your office manager.

11
00:01:17,071 --> 00:01:19,281
Yes, hello, this is Michael Scott.

12
00:01:19,364 --> 00:01:22,992
I am the regional manager
from Dunder Mifflin paper products.

13
00:01:23,075 --> 00:01:25,910
I wanted to be with you
speak from manager to manager.

14
00:01:28,954 --> 00:01:30,079
OK, deal.

15
00:01:30,163 --> 00:01:32,039
Thank you.

16
00:01:32,122 --> 00:01:33,497
You are a real man of honor.

17
00:01:35,625 --> 00:01:36,959
Oh, I'm sorry.

18
00:01:37,043 --> 00:01:38,543
OK, I'm sorry.

19
00:01:38,627 --> 00:01:39,543
My mistake.

20
00:01:41,629 --> 00:01:43,504
This was a woman I was talking to.

21
00:01:44,212 --> 00:01:46,464
She had a very deep voice.

22
00:01:47,048 --> 00:01:49,633
Probably a smoker.

23
00:01:52,593 --> 00:01:53,761
So that's how it's done.

24
00:01:54,385 --> 00:01:57,346
I've been at Dunder Mifflin for 12 years.

25
00:01:57,429 --> 00:01:59,347
The last four as regional managers.

26
00:02:00,639 --> 00:02:01,848
Please follow me.

27
00:02:03,683 --> 00:02:05,267
We have the entire floor.

28
00:02:05,351 --> 00:02:06,810
This is my kingdom,

29
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,186
as far as the eye can see.

30
00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:10,646
Our receptionist, Pam.

31
00:02:10,729 --> 00:02:12,605
Pam!

32
00:02:12,688 --> 00:02:14,105
Pam Beasley.

33
00:02:14,189 --> 00:02:18,275
Pam's been with us forever, right?

34
00:02:18,359 --> 00:02:19,318
I don't know.

35
00:02:19,401 --> 00:02:20,943
If you think she's cute now,

36
00:02:21,027 --> 00:02:22,861
you should have seen them sooner.

37
00:02:23,528 --> 00:02:24,570
What?

38
00:02:24,654 --> 00:02:25,946
Any news?

39
00:02:27,572 --> 00:02:28,947
Yes, just a fax.

40
00:02:31,199 --> 00:02:32,200
This is from the top.

41
00:02:32,283 --> 00:02:33,910
-How many times do I have to tell you
-Yes.

42
00:02:33,993 --> 00:02:36,495
that there is a special deposit
for the company management?

43
00:02:36,578 --> 00:02:38,496
-You never said.
-Called trash can.

44
00:02:41,205 --> 00:02:42,122
Look at that!

45
00:02:43,832 --> 00:02:45,083
Look at her face!

46
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,292
I often hear that I am the best boss.

47
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,378
They say: “Such a workplace
we've never had it.

48
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:51,379
You're so funny.

49
00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:54,421
And you bring out the best in us."

50
00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,467
That sums it up pretty well.

51
00:02:59,550 --> 00:03:01,343
THE BEST BOSS IN THE WORLD

52
00:03:01,426 --> 00:03:02,760
I got these from the flea market.

53
00:03:16,060 --> 00:03:18,436
<i>I don't have a present for you</i>

54
00:03:22,688 --> 00:03:25,649
My task is,

55
00:03:25,732 --> 00:03:27,067
to talk to customers on the phone,

56
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:34,695
in terms of quantity and quality
of printer paper,

57
00:03:35,279 --> 00:03:38,281
whether we can supply you with it,

58
00:03:38,365 --> 00:03:42,158
and whether they can pay it.

59
00:03:42,242 --> 00:03:43,493
And…

60
00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:50,330
I'm already bored,
just to talk about it.

61
00:03:55,417 --> 00:03:56,251
What's up?

62
00:03:56,793 --> 00:03:57,710
What's up?

63
00:03:58,711 --> 00:04:00,294
Still horny, years later.

64
00:04:00,378 --> 00:04:01,586
What's up?

65
00:04:01,670 --> 00:04:03,130
What's up?

66
00:04:03,713 --> 00:04:06,507
What's up?

67
00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:09,092
What's up?

68
00:04:21,891 --> 00:04:22,933
What?

69
00:04:23,559 --> 00:04:24,851
Nothing.

70
00:04:24,934 --> 00:04:26,685
OK Good.

71
00:04:26,768 --> 00:04:28,228
-See you later.
-In order.

72
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:30,854
Stay clean.

73
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,439
Back to work!

74
00:04:40,610 --> 00:04:42,611
I have no idea
shortly before noon. That would be good.

75
00:04:42,695 --> 00:04:44,404
<i>The company management lets me do it.</i>

76
00:04:44,487 --> 00:04:45,696
<i>Jan Levinson Gould.</i>

77
00:04:45,779 --> 00:04:47,365
-Jan, hello!
-Yes.

78
00:04:47,449 --> 00:04:49,408
I call her Hillary Rodham Clinton.

79
00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:52,367
So not in her presence,

80
00:04:52,451 --> 00:04:53,993
but I'm not afraid of her.

81
00:04:55,411 --> 00:04:56,745
I haven't,

82
00:04:56,828 --> 00:04:58,829
but yes.

83
00:04:59,705 --> 00:05:01,999
Good. Did you want the agenda
add something?

84
00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:05,500
I didn't get an agenda.

85
00:05:06,501 --> 00:05:09,169
-I'm sorry, what? I... What?
-I didn't get an agenda.

86
00:05:09,252 --> 00:05:11,211
I faxed you one today.

87
00:05:11,295 --> 00:05:12,463
Really? I don't have any…

88
00:05:13,045 --> 00:05:15,048
I have…
Did we receive a fax today?

89
00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:17,382
Yes. The one.

90
00:05:17,466 --> 00:05:20,676
Why… Then why isn’t it in front of me?

91
00:05:21,218 --> 00:05:23,677
A company builds
on effective communication, right?

92
00:05:25,345 --> 00:05:26,637
What's the problem, Pam?

93
00:05:26,721 --> 00:05:28,514
Why…didn’t I receive it?

94
00:05:29,557 --> 00:05:33,184
You threw it in the trash can,
which you referred to as a special deposit.

95
00:05:37,394 --> 00:05:38,978
Yes, that was a joke.

96
00:05:39,479 --> 00:05:42,022
That was actually a joke
from my brother.

97
00:05:42,106 --> 00:05:44,774
That relates
actually on bills,

98
00:05:44,857 --> 00:05:46,442
It doesn't fire when sending faxes.

99
00:05:46,525 --> 00:05:48,026
-Would you like to read along with me?
-Yes.

100
00:05:48,109 --> 00:05:49,443
With pleasure, thank you.

101
00:05:49,526 --> 00:05:51,277
Ok, after our last meeting

102
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,779
Alan and the board decided
that the branches

103
00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:55,696
in Scranton and Stamford are too much.

104
00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:57,907
-Oh ok.
-No, Michael, don't panic.

105
00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:58,824
No.

106
00:05:58,908 --> 00:05:59,949
-That's good.
-No.

107
00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:01,284
-OK.
-Michael. Listen.

108
00:06:01,367 --> 00:06:02,618
-Great.
-Okay, don't panic.

109
00:06:02,701 --> 00:06:05,119
-But the alarm is ringing.
-Nothing is fixed.

110
00:06:05,203 --> 00:06:06,745
I spoke to Josh in Stamford.

111
00:06:06,828 --> 00:06:08,078
I told him the same thing.

112
00:06:08,162 --> 00:06:09,789
You have to convince me

113
00:06:09,873 --> 00:06:11,081
which branch remains.

114
00:06:11,165 --> 00:06:11,999
OK no problem.

115
00:06:12,082 --> 00:06:14,042
Of course, that means staff cuts.

116
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:16,376
I don't want to hear that, Jan.

117
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,877
Because downsizing sucks.

118
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,961
But really shit.

119
00:06:21,045 --> 00:06:23,923
I wouldn't wish that on Josh's people.

120
00:06:24,006 --> 00:06:26,716
I wish that for my men
and certainly not women either,

121
00:06:26,799 --> 00:06:28,008
Excluding those present.

122
00:06:28,550 --> 00:06:29,842
I'm sorry...

123
00:06:29,926 --> 00:06:32,385
Does Josh worry?
about his downsizing?

124
00:06:33,511 --> 00:06:34,470
Not his own.

125
00:06:34,553 --> 00:06:36,513
-But in general?
-Well...

126
00:06:41,433 --> 00:06:43,434
Question: How long do we have to...

127
00:06:45,852 --> 00:06:47,770
Todd Packer. Great representative.

128
00:06:47,853 --> 00:06:49,646
-May I answer?
-Go ahead.

129
00:06:50,270 --> 00:06:52,648
-Pac Man.
-<i>Hey, you old faggot.</i>

130
00:06:52,731 --> 00:06:54,565
This is very inappropriate.

131
00:06:54,649 --> 00:06:57,067
<i>Is the old Godzillary coming today?</i>

132
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,443
I have no idea what you mean.

133
00:06:58,527 --> 00:07:01,694
<i>I've wanted you for a long time
ask a question.</i>

134
00:07:01,778 --> 00:07:04,948
-<i>Does your carpet match your curtains?</i>
-Oh my God!

135
00:07:06,698 --> 00:07:09,116
This is disgusting.

136
00:07:10,617 --> 00:07:11,492
Terrible.

137
00:07:12,826 --> 00:07:13,743
Terrible person.

138
00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:16,828
Do you think this thing could?

139
00:07:16,912 --> 00:07:18,204
stay among us for now?

140
00:07:18,287 --> 00:07:19,997
I don't want unnecessary panic.

141
00:07:20,081 --> 00:07:21,457
No, absolutely.

142
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:24,291
Under my leadership
Of course it stays between us.

143
00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:25,751
Clearly.

144
00:07:25,834 --> 00:07:28,418
What does downsizing actually mean?

145
00:07:28,502 --> 00:07:29,378
Well...

146
00:07:29,461 --> 00:07:32,256
You need to update your resume
the way I do it.

147
00:07:32,339 --> 00:07:33,965
I bet I have to go.

148
00:07:34,048 --> 00:07:35,632
It probably hits me.

149
00:07:36,424 --> 00:07:37,591
Yes, it will.

150
00:07:37,675 --> 00:07:40,009
-I have an important question.
-Yes?

151
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:43,011
Are you going to Angela's cat party on Sunday?

152
00:07:43,094 --> 00:07:44,136
Yes, stop it.

153
00:07:44,762 --> 00:07:45,804
What a question.

154
00:07:45,887 --> 00:07:47,806
<i>Do I tell them?
I won't tell them.</i>

155
00:07:47,889 --> 00:07:48,890
<i>I think that's pointless.</i>

156
00:07:48,974 --> 00:07:52,767
As a doctor you say so
does not tell the patient that he has cancer.

157
00:07:52,851 --> 00:07:53,851
Hello.

158
00:07:53,934 --> 00:07:54,768
Hello.

159
00:07:54,852 --> 00:07:55,726
This is Mr Scott.

160
00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:57,770
Guilty as charged.

161
00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,063
Ryan Howard from the temp agency.

162
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,648
I'm supposed to start here today.

163
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,024
Howard like Mo Howard,
by the Three Stooges.

164
00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:05,942
-Exactly.
-Look, that's what Mo does.

165
00:08:06,025 --> 00:08:09,485
Croak, quack, quack, moo!

166
00:08:10,444 --> 00:08:12,487
Understood. Three Stooges. Give me five.

167
00:08:12,571 --> 00:08:13,445
Oh, Pam.

168
00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:14,573
This is a man's joke.

169
00:08:15,072 --> 00:08:16,282
I'm basically a comedian.

170
00:08:17,949 --> 00:08:19,157
Look at this.

171
00:08:27,372 --> 00:08:28,289
I am Hitler.

172
00:08:28,372 --> 00:08:29,415
Adolf Hitler.

173
00:08:31,832 --> 00:08:34,834
I think there could be worse things
than to be released here.

174
00:08:35,585 --> 00:08:37,335
Because then I could...

175
00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:41,589
Few girls dream of
to become a receptionist.

176
00:08:42,672 --> 00:08:44,299
I like to paint,

177
00:08:46,174 --> 00:08:47,466
mainly watercolors.

178
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:49,301
A few oil paintings.

179
00:08:50,594 --> 00:08:52,052
Jim thinks she's good.

180
00:08:52,678 --> 00:08:54,304
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

181
00:08:54,386 --> 00:08:55,471
Clear.

182
00:08:55,555 --> 00:08:57,389
Mr. Davis, I'll call you right away.

183
00:08:57,472 --> 00:08:59,015
Something came up.

184
00:08:59,099 --> 00:08:59,932
Thank you.

185
00:09:01,225 --> 00:09:02,392
Dwight, what's this?

186
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,851
-What?
-What are you doing?

187
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:05,977
I'm just tidying up the desk.

188
00:09:06,059 --> 00:09:09,980
-It's not on your desk.
-It sticks over the edge.

189
00:09:10,063 --> 00:09:12,607
One word, two syllables: demarcation.

190
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,155
-That doesn't work.
-Why not?

191
00:09:24,406 --> 00:09:28,116
Security risk. I could fall
and pierce my organ.

192
00:09:29,658 --> 00:09:30,743
We'll see.

193
00:09:35,077 --> 00:09:36,872
That's why this staff reduction bothers me

194
00:09:36,955 --> 00:09:38,414
-not at all.
-Staff cuts?

195
00:09:38,497 --> 00:09:39,831
Staff cuts?

196
00:09:39,915 --> 00:09:41,582
I have no problem with that.

197
00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:43,250
I recommend staff cuts,

198
00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:44,751
since I started here.

199
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,169
Even in my job interview.

200
00:09:47,752 --> 00:09:49,712
As far as I'm concerned, bring it on.

201
00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:54,214
There would still be
yesterday's news.

202
00:09:54,298 --> 00:09:55,674
Everything is under control.

203
00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:58,926
Oh yes. This is important.

204
00:09:59,009 --> 00:10:00,010
Understood.

205
00:10:00,093 --> 00:10:03,261
This is so important, I should run
and answer it immediately.

206
00:10:22,899 --> 00:10:24,024
What?

207
00:10:25,734 --> 00:10:27,193
The Six Million Dollar Man!

208
00:10:27,276 --> 00:10:28,485
Steve Austin.

209
00:10:28,568 --> 00:10:31,905
That would be a good salary for me,
Don't you think so?

210
00:10:31,988 --> 00:10:33,113
Six million dollars?

211
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:34,322
Message to Jan:

212
00:10:34,405 --> 00:10:35,657
I want to earn more.

213
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:37,115
Don't we all?

214
00:10:37,199 --> 00:10:38,241
Please?

215
00:10:39,784 --> 00:10:40,742
Nothing.

216
00:10:41,826 --> 00:10:44,078
If you are dissatisfied with the salary,

217
00:10:44,161 --> 00:10:45,913
contact the human resources department.

218
00:10:46,872 --> 00:10:48,831
Okay, but not today, okay?

219
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:51,332
Pam, just be professional.

220
00:10:56,961 --> 00:10:58,294
<i>I am considered a role model here.</i>

221
00:10:58,378 --> 00:11:00,088
People respect me.

222
00:11:00,171 --> 00:11:02,214
All Dunder Mifflin employees:

223
00:11:02,297 --> 00:11:05,800
There's a meeting soon
in the conference room.

224
00:11:05,883 --> 00:11:08,009
<i>People I respect
my heroes,</i>

225
00:11:08,092 --> 00:11:09,927
that would be Bob Hope,

226
00:11:13,429 --> 00:11:14,846
Abraham Lincoln,

227
00:11:15,764 --> 00:11:16,931
definitely.

228
00:11:18,099 --> 00:11:19,140
Bono.

229
00:11:22,142 --> 00:11:23,726
And God...

230
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,688
...would probably be the fourth.

231
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:31,606
I think all these people have the world

232
00:11:32,649 --> 00:11:35,150
improved in so many ways,

233
00:11:36,401 --> 00:11:37,318
that it…

234
00:11:39,236 --> 00:11:40,654
You're at a loss for words.

235
00:11:43,988 --> 00:11:45,281
Simply immeasurable.

236
00:11:46,281 --> 00:11:48,783
I know there are rumors circulating,
and I just wanted...

237
00:11:49,283 --> 00:11:51,284
I am an assistant manager,
tell me first.

238
00:11:51,368 --> 00:11:53,411
-Assistant to the Regional Manager.
-Yes OK.

239
00:11:53,954 --> 00:11:55,413
Are you telling me? Very quietly.

240
00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,163
-I'll tell everyone.
-Whisper it.

241
00:11:57,247 --> 00:11:58,456
-I'll tell everyone.
-Please?

242
00:11:58,540 --> 00:12:00,165
-Just tell us.
-One moment please.

243
00:12:00,249 --> 00:12:02,500
-Should I tell them?
-You don't know anything.

244
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:05,043
-So…
-Say it. I allow it.

245
00:12:05,126 --> 00:12:06,919
-I don't need permission.
-Go ahead.

246
00:12:07,002 --> 00:12:12,548
The company management considered it appropriate
to give me an ultimatum.

247
00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:14,507
-What?
-And Jan...

248
00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:18,467
She considers either our branch
or dismantle the one in Stamford.

249
00:12:18,551 --> 00:12:20,927
This branch could be closed.

250
00:12:21,010 --> 00:12:21,846
That's just...

251
00:12:23,388 --> 00:12:24,513
This is just a rumor.

252
00:12:24,596 --> 00:12:26,014
I'm new here, I have no idea.

253
00:12:26,098 --> 00:12:28,099
What if they terminate us?

254
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:29,433
That won't happen.

255
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:30,808
It's not up to you to decide.

256
00:12:30,891 --> 00:12:33,685
I have very well
influence that, Stanley, okay?

257
00:12:33,768 --> 00:12:34,686
I promise.

258
00:12:34,768 --> 00:12:35,979
Can you do that?

259
00:12:36,062 --> 00:12:37,813
-On his mother's life.
-Well...

260
00:12:38,605 --> 00:12:39,522
No.

261
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,857
But yes, I promise.

262
00:12:41,940 --> 00:12:45,942
Frankly, I'm a bit offended
that you have to ask.

263
00:12:46,025 --> 00:12:47,651
That's what we need to know.

264
00:12:47,735 --> 00:12:50,237
I know. Wait a minute.

265
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,405
I think Pam wants to say something.

266
00:12:52,488 --> 00:12:57,450
You looked like that
as if you wanted to ask something.

267
00:12:59,284 --> 00:13:02,368
I was at the meeting
with Jan there, she said,

268
00:13:02,453 --> 00:13:04,746
that this branch could close.

269
00:13:04,829 --> 00:13:06,080
Are you sure about that?

270
00:13:07,539 --> 00:13:09,874
Pam, maybe you'll hold on better,

271
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,624
as far as such meetings are concerned,

272
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,000
-to the obligation of confidentiality.
-Yes.

273
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,126
Pam, information is power.

274
00:13:15,668 --> 00:13:18,755
So you can't say for sure
whether it affects them or us.

275
00:13:18,838 --> 00:13:20,630
No, Stanley.

276
00:13:20,714 --> 00:13:23,174
No, you haven't seen me with her.

277
00:13:23,257 --> 00:13:25,049
I told her

278
00:13:25,133 --> 00:13:28,009
when the company arrives,
and want to get involved here,

279
00:13:28,092 --> 00:13:30,094
they have to get past me first.

280
00:13:30,178 --> 00:13:31,304
Do you understand?

281
00:13:31,387 --> 00:13:32,971
You can try this with Josh,

282
00:13:33,054 --> 00:13:34,889
but here I am the head of the family,

283
00:13:34,972 --> 00:13:37,807
and to my children
I won't let anyone lay hands on me.

284
00:13:45,187 --> 00:13:47,062
If I were to go, what should I do?

285
00:13:47,813 --> 00:13:51,774
with all this useless information
do in my head?

286
00:13:52,441 --> 00:13:54,400
The ton price of manila briefcases.

287
00:13:56,193 --> 00:13:58,236
Pam's favorite yogurt,

288
00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,779
that would be berry mix.

289
00:14:03,947 --> 00:14:05,573
<i>Jim said mixed berries?</i>

290
00:14:08,533 --> 00:14:09,743
He knows me so well.

291
00:14:13,245 --> 00:14:14,579
Be careful of this guy here.

292
00:14:14,662 --> 00:14:17,247
Dwight Schrute at the start.
This is Ryan, the new temp.

293
00:14:17,331 --> 00:14:18,498
-What's up?
-Very pleased.

294
00:14:18,581 --> 00:14:19,540
Introduce yourself.

295
00:14:19,624 --> 00:14:21,917
Dwight Schrute, assistant manager.

296
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,251
Assistant to the regional manager.

297
00:14:24,335 --> 00:14:26,920
Dwight, tell him about the kung fu

298
00:14:27,003 --> 00:14:29,046
and the car and so on.

299
00:14:29,838 --> 00:14:32,006
Yes, I have a '78 280Z.

300
00:14:32,089 --> 00:14:34,090
Bought for 1,200.
He is now worth 3,000.

301
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,549
-That's his win.
-Yes.

302
00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:38,218
New engine, suspension, paint…
I have photos.

303
00:14:39,469 --> 00:14:41,346
Oh, damn!

304
00:14:41,429 --> 00:14:43,805
-Jim.
-Okay, time out.

305
00:14:43,888 --> 00:14:46,389
The court is in session. What's the problem?

306
00:14:46,473 --> 00:14:48,390
He put my stuff in pudding again!

307
00:14:51,309 --> 00:14:52,769
Very professional, thank you very much.

308
00:14:52,852 --> 00:14:55,104
For the third time already,
It doesn't get any funnier, Jim.

309
00:14:55,187 --> 00:14:56,854
It's quite ok here.

310
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,688
But sometimes people take advantage,

311
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,315
when things are so relaxed.

312
00:15:00,398 --> 00:15:03,525
I am on the weekend
worked as a deputy sheriff.

313
00:15:04,734 --> 00:15:06,235
Nobody is allowed to mess up there.

314
00:15:07,444 --> 00:15:08,986
That's one of the rules.

315
00:15:09,070 --> 00:15:10,738
-What is that?
-My staple gun.

316
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:13,239
No! Don't take it out.

317
00:15:13,322 --> 00:15:14,573
You have to eat him free.

318
00:15:14,657 --> 00:15:16,366
In this world people are starving,

319
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:17,449
which I find bad.

320
00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:19,076
And that would be a waste.

321
00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:20,577
You know what? You are a witness.

322
00:15:20,661 --> 00:15:21,911
Can you warn him?

323
00:15:23,954 --> 00:15:25,163
Who says it was me?

324
00:15:25,247 --> 00:15:26,205
It's always you.

325
00:15:26,288 --> 00:15:27,540
Are you punishing him now?

326
00:15:27,623 --> 00:15:28,873
Punish, how perverse!

327
00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:32,583
Okay, I'll tell you something, guys.

328
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:34,044
If you play a trick,

329
00:15:34,128 --> 00:15:35,878
you should know what is appropriate

330
00:15:35,962 --> 00:15:37,129
and when it becomes too much.

331
00:15:37,212 --> 00:15:38,255
-Yes.
-And… Yes.

332
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:41,881
Jim, at this point you should stop,

333
00:15:41,965 --> 00:15:44,633
Dwight's things
to pour into jelly.

334
00:15:46,717 --> 00:15:47,718
OK.

335
00:15:47,802 --> 00:15:48,886
Dwight, I'm sorry.

336
00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:51,804
I have always adored you.

337
00:15:54,430 --> 00:15:55,265
Not bad.

338
00:15:56,098 --> 00:15:57,723
That's how it works here.

339
00:15:57,807 --> 00:15:59,225
Always go the extra mile.

340
00:15:59,308 --> 00:16:01,184
Next time, give him a smack-dab.

341
00:16:01,268 --> 00:16:04,103
Hey, yes, the new one!

342
00:16:04,186 --> 00:16:05,855
Hit the mark!

343
00:16:05,938 --> 00:16:08,814
Ok, that's great.
What worries me the most

344
00:16:08,897 --> 00:16:11,149
is the damage to company property.

345
00:16:11,691 --> 00:16:12,732
Nothing more.

346
00:16:16,986 --> 00:16:18,362
Pudding.

347
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:21,155
Pudding, I'm still thinking about it

348
00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:23,030
another dessert joke.

349
00:16:24,907 --> 00:16:27,741
Would you like to do so on the weekend?
to go out for a drink?

350
00:16:28,284 --> 00:16:29,535
Yes.

351
00:16:29,618 --> 00:16:31,162
That's why we're all going out.

352
00:16:31,245 --> 00:16:32,787
To have a drink on the weekend.

353
00:16:32,871 --> 00:16:33,871
When are we going out?

354
00:16:33,954 --> 00:16:36,497
-No idea. Tonight. Hopefully.
-Okay, yes.

355
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,792
-Hey. How are you?
-Hello.

356
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:42,877
-Hey, baby.
-Hello.

357
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,502
Roy is my fiancé.

358
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,378
We are now

359
00:16:47,588 --> 00:16:49,005
engaged for almost three years

360
00:16:49,088 --> 00:16:52,007
and wanted to get married in September,

361
00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:54,425
but I believe
We're getting married in the spring now.

362
00:16:55,717 --> 00:16:58,136
Does it bother you
What if I go out for a drink with them?

363
00:16:59,761 --> 00:17:00,929
No, come on.

364
00:17:01,012 --> 00:17:02,597
Let's go home.

365
00:17:03,096 --> 00:17:04,431
OK.

366
00:17:04,514 --> 00:17:07,682
I need a few more minutes.
It's only 5:20 p.m.

367
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:08,892
I have to send faxes.

368
00:17:13,769 --> 00:17:15,771
You know what? You should come with me,

369
00:17:16,313 --> 00:17:17,355
because you know

370
00:17:17,439 --> 00:17:19,523
this could be a good opportunity

371
00:17:19,607 --> 00:17:21,608
get to know each other outside of the office.

372
00:17:21,691 --> 00:17:22,858
That could be nice.

373
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:25,194
-No, that sounds good.
-Oh no.

374
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,612
-But seriously, we have to go.
-Clear.

375
00:17:38,952 --> 00:17:40,870
What do you have in your bag?

376
00:17:42,745 --> 00:17:44,246
-Tell her we'll talk later.
-Clear.

377
00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:46,164
Okay, man, great. Will be done.

378
00:17:50,374 --> 00:17:54,044
Whether I believe
that I will be invited to the wedding?

379
00:18:02,257 --> 00:18:04,966
Do you already have a feeling?
for the atmosphere here?

380
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:06,718
We work hard. We have fun.

381
00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:08,636
Sometimes we fool around instead of working.

382
00:18:08,719 --> 00:18:09,803
Right?

383
00:18:10,429 --> 00:18:11,387
I believe

384
00:18:12,013 --> 00:18:13,680
the atmosphere here is such that I

385
00:18:13,764 --> 00:18:15,431
am first and foremost a friend,

386
00:18:15,514 --> 00:18:17,432
and only second is the boss.

387
00:18:17,515 --> 00:18:18,558
Probably, yes.

388
00:18:19,060 --> 00:18:21,186
Thirdly, an entertainer. One moment.

389
00:18:21,269 --> 00:18:22,102
Right?

390
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,146
Hey, do you want

391
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,397
do you like the Jamie Kennedy experiment?

392
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,273
-Yes?
-Hidden camera and stuff?

393
00:18:29,357 --> 00:18:31,775
Ok, you're my accomplice now.

394
00:18:31,858 --> 00:18:32,901
Just play along.

395
00:18:32,984 --> 00:18:34,610
-In order.
-Leave that to me.

396
00:18:34,693 --> 00:18:36,903
Don't let me get lost, okay? In.

397
00:18:36,986 --> 00:18:39,363
Management said I couldn't...

398
00:18:39,446 --> 00:18:41,197
-A fax for you.
-Oh thank you. Pam.

399
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,073
Pam, can you come in for a minute?

400
00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:44,907
Take a seat.

401
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,367
I wanted to ask you here anyway.

402
00:18:47,201 --> 00:18:48,327
Do you already know Ryan?

403
00:18:49,410 --> 00:18:50,787
As you know,

404
00:18:50,870 --> 00:18:52,913
we have to cut staff,

405
00:18:52,995 --> 00:18:58,040
and you have given me my life
made so much easier,

406
00:18:58,123 --> 00:19:02,126
in that I love you
must be released first.

407
00:19:02,627 --> 00:19:04,127
What, why?

408
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,420
Well, because of the theft.

409
00:19:06,504 --> 00:19:07,588
And stealing.

410
00:19:07,672 --> 00:19:08,588
Steal?

411
00:19:10,339 --> 00:19:12,215
What am I supposed to have stolen?

412
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:13,716
Notepad.

413
00:19:14,884 --> 00:19:16,094
-Notes?
-Yes.

414
00:19:16,177 --> 00:19:17,594
What are they worth? 50 cents?

415
00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:18,552
Fifty cents, yes.

416
00:19:18,636 --> 00:19:21,471
If you have 1,000 sticky notes
for 50 cents a piece,

417
00:19:21,554 --> 00:19:24,764
you make a profit with it.

418
00:19:24,847 --> 00:19:27,892
This is how you run the company
bankrupt, Pam.

419
00:19:27,976 --> 00:19:29,017
Are you serious?

420
00:19:30,519 --> 00:19:31,352
Yes.

421
00:19:33,812 --> 00:19:35,729
I can't believe it. I mean,

422
00:19:35,813 --> 00:19:37,772
I haven't even
stole a paper clip,

423
00:19:37,855 --> 00:19:39,357
and now you're firing me.

424
00:19:40,524 --> 00:19:42,776
The best thing about it is,

425
00:19:42,859 --> 00:19:45,569
that we give you
no need to pay severance pay,

426
00:19:46,736 --> 00:19:49,321
for gross misconduct.

427
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:52,156
Just clear your desk.

428
00:19:52,239 --> 00:19:53,323
I'm sorry.

429
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,002
Fooled, you rag!

430
00:20:13,377 --> 00:20:15,129
Surprise. That was a joke.

431
00:20:15,212 --> 00:20:17,463
We were just kidding.

432
00:20:17,546 --> 00:20:20,548
OK, he was in on it.
He was my accomplice.

433
00:20:20,631 --> 00:20:23,801
That should strengthen cohesion.

434
00:20:23,883 --> 00:20:26,593
We have the new one
given a tour of the office,

435
00:20:26,677 --> 00:20:29,262
showed him how things work for us.

436
00:20:29,345 --> 00:20:30,304
Hence…

437
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:35,015
-My God, we're full of you...
-You're an idiot!

438
00:20:36,599 --> 00:20:38,101
I see it differently.

439
00:20:53,985 --> 00:20:57,112
What is the most important thing in a company?

440
00:20:57,195 --> 00:20:58,362
Is it cash flow?

441
00:20:58,446 --> 00:21:00,947
Is it the inventory?

442
00:21:01,489 --> 00:21:04,658
No, it's the people

443
00:21:05,617 --> 00:21:06,826
the people.

444
00:21:07,952 --> 00:21:09,703
My proudest moment here wasn't,

445
00:21:09,786 --> 00:21:12,662
when I won
increased by 17%,

446
00:21:12,746 --> 00:21:16,623
or when I cut expenses,
without laying off employees.

447
00:21:16,707 --> 00:21:18,375
No.

448
00:21:18,459 --> 00:21:20,376
There was a young Guatemalan.

449
00:21:21,752 --> 00:21:24,420
His first job in this country,
barely spoke English.

450
00:21:24,503 --> 00:21:26,254
He came to me and said:

451
00:21:27,047 --> 00:21:28,255
“Mr Scott.

452
00:21:29,298 --> 00:21:32,759
would you be the godfather
of my child?"

453
00:21:43,431 --> 00:21:44,514
Nothing came of it.

454
00:21:44,598 --> 00:21:46,184
We fired him. He was useless.

455
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,395
Hello.

456
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:54,563
Hello.

457
00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:56,105
-Hello.
-How are you?

458
00:21:56,189 --> 00:21:58,398
Good. I thought
you go have a drink with the...

459
00:21:58,482 --> 00:21:59,316
Oh, no.

460
00:22:00,192 --> 00:22:01,692
I changed my mind.

461
00:22:02,902 --> 00:22:04,235
And your headache?

462
00:22:04,319 --> 00:22:05,569
-Better, thanks.
-Good.

463
00:22:05,652 --> 00:22:07,112
-Okay, that's great.
-Yes.

464
00:22:07,196 --> 00:22:08,780
-Is…
-Yes?

465
00:22:09,613 --> 00:22:10,614
Will you…

466
00:22:11,781 --> 00:22:13,575
-Am I going now?
-Do you want… Yes.

467
00:22:14,241 --> 00:22:16,451
-Yes, would you like...
-Yes.

468
00:22:16,534 --> 00:22:17,494
Understood. Super.

469
00:22:17,577 --> 00:22:18,702
Just let me quickly...

470
00:22:19,620 --> 00:22:21,245
-Oh, Roy.
-Yes.

471
00:22:21,329 --> 00:22:22,746
Have a nice weekend.

472
00:22:22,829 --> 00:22:25,039
Yes, of course, you too.

473
00:22:25,122 --> 00:22:25,956
Have lots of fun with it.

474
00:22:39,131 --> 00:22:40,256
Come with me.

475
00:22:48,345 --> 00:22:51,555
THE BEST BOSS IN THE WORLD

476
00:23:21,657 --> 00:23:23,408
Subtitles by: Martin Knuhr


