1 00:00:07,385 --> 00:00:09,653 ( Theme music playing ) 2 00:00:13,801 --> 00:00:16,412 - Ah. Oh! Nice. - Huh? Huh? 3 00:00:16,446 --> 00:00:18,686 See? That was nice. Right? 4 00:00:18,721 --> 00:00:20,093 - You know what? - What? 5 00:00:20,129 --> 00:00:21,933 - I think this is our year. - I think you're looking 6 00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:23,368 at the five-man team club champions. 7 00:00:23,402 --> 00:00:25,573 Man: I think we're the team to beat. I really do. 8 00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:26,946 I really think we have a great chance this year. 9 00:00:26,981 --> 00:00:30,153 - I agree. - So, uh, are you ready to go? I gotta go. 10 00:00:30,188 --> 00:00:32,393 - Why? - You've gotta go? Take it easy. 11 00:00:32,428 --> 00:00:34,268 No, I've just gotta get back. I told Ilene I'd be back 12 00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:36,675 - at a certain time. - How did I know that? "I told Ilene. 13 00:00:36,709 --> 00:00:38,080 - I've gotta get back." - Okay. 14 00:00:38,114 --> 00:00:39,550 On the way, we'll pick up a new cock for you, okay? 15 00:00:39,584 --> 00:00:41,854 - Thank you, Eddie. - ( All laugh ) 16 00:00:41,888 --> 00:00:44,324 So listen, why don't we get together at my place tomorrow night-- 17 00:00:44,358 --> 00:00:45,825 dinner, bring the wives? 18 00:00:45,859 --> 00:00:47,963 - A pre-tournament dinner. I like it. - Jeff: Sure. 19 00:00:47,997 --> 00:00:49,432 What about Funkhouser? Will you call him? 20 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,370 I'll call him. He'll be there tomorrow. 21 00:00:51,404 --> 00:00:52,839 - Okay. - Where has he been? Have you seen him? 22 00:00:52,873 --> 00:00:54,810 I don't know what the hell he's doing. 23 00:00:54,844 --> 00:00:57,148 - He hasn't practiced for-- - Like a month I haven't seen him out here. 24 00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:58,917 - No one's seen him! - What does he think? 25 00:00:58,953 --> 00:01:00,922 He's just gonna come out here on Saturday and play great? 26 00:01:00,957 --> 00:01:03,060 - I don't get it. - Jeff: He is great, but is he that great? 27 00:01:03,094 --> 00:01:04,695 - Eddie: I'll take care of it. - All right. 28 00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:06,901 - I gotta-- I'm sorry, I gotta go. - See you guys later. 29 00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:08,871 - See you, guys. - Okay okay. 30 00:01:08,905 --> 00:01:11,675 Jeez. Is there anything more pathetic 31 00:01:11,710 --> 00:01:14,413 than a cowering, emasculated Jew who ha to run home to his wife? 32 00:01:14,447 --> 00:01:17,717 - I would agree with you. - That poor fuck. 33 00:01:17,751 --> 00:01:19,388 Imagine how he'd be if he was married to Susie. 34 00:01:19,422 --> 00:01:21,525 He'd have pee stains on his pants constantly. 35 00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:24,563 - He'd be in her purse. You know? - He'd be in her purse. 36 00:01:24,598 --> 00:01:27,769 He has no balls. I have a solid single ball. 37 00:01:27,804 --> 00:01:30,307 - Yeah, you've got one ball. - I've got one solid ball. 38 00:01:30,342 --> 00:01:32,110 - Hey, let's get something to eat. - Okay. 39 00:01:32,144 --> 00:01:35,582 Um, you want to try out that palestinian chicken place? 40 00:01:35,616 --> 00:01:37,886 Let's do it. That's all I've ever heard is how great it is. 41 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,422 Fantastic. Okay, let's go. 42 00:01:43,329 --> 00:01:45,864 Mmm, I've never had chicken like this. 43 00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:48,001 - I don't know what the hell they're doing. - I don't know. 44 00:01:48,035 --> 00:01:51,039 - It's unlike anything I've ever even tasted. - What about this place? 45 00:01:51,074 --> 00:01:53,876 Look at these posters, huh? 46 00:01:53,911 --> 00:01:55,579 Jeff: Yeah, they do not like the Jews. 47 00:01:55,613 --> 00:01:57,883 - Look at that one. - Ooh. 48 00:01:57,917 --> 00:01:59,619 Larry: We're probably the only Jews ever walked in here. 49 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,655 Jeff: Ever. What these people should do 50 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,591 is send their chicken over to Israel. 51 00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:05,060 - For the peace process. - Mm-hmm. 52 00:02:05,094 --> 00:02:06,763 They'd take down all those settlements in the morning. 53 00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:09,267 Believe me. You know what? 54 00:02:09,301 --> 00:02:12,805 This would be a fantastic place 55 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,575 for Jews who are cheating on their spouses 56 00:02:15,611 --> 00:02:17,112 - to come to. - Oh yeah. 57 00:02:17,146 --> 00:02:18,947 Because no Jews ever come here. They'd be so safe. 58 00:02:18,981 --> 00:02:20,583 No one you know is ever gonna see you here. 59 00:02:20,617 --> 00:02:23,020 - You would never get caught. - Ever. 60 00:02:23,054 --> 00:02:26,325 Looks like they're planning the next intifada 61 00:02:26,359 --> 00:02:27,893 at this table, but look at this woman. 62 00:02:27,927 --> 00:02:30,264 Could be the next Mrs. David. 63 00:02:30,298 --> 00:02:32,467 - What do you think about that? - If by some chance 64 00:02:32,501 --> 00:02:34,136 she's gonna get over her anti-semitism, 65 00:02:34,171 --> 00:02:36,473 - odds are not with you, no. - Not with me? Really? 66 00:02:36,507 --> 00:02:38,142 - Just my gut feeling. - You know what it is? 67 00:02:38,176 --> 00:02:41,147 You're always attracted to someone who doesn't want you, right? 68 00:02:41,181 --> 00:02:43,416 - Right. - Well, here you have somebody 69 00:02:43,449 --> 00:02:44,651 who not only doesn't want you, 70 00:02:44,685 --> 00:02:47,321 doesn't even acknowledge your right to exist... 71 00:02:47,355 --> 00:02:49,924 - Exist, yup. - ...Wants your destruction. 72 00:02:49,958 --> 00:02:52,161 That's a turn-on. 73 00:03:05,613 --> 00:03:08,617 - ( Crashes ) - Oh my God! 74 00:03:08,650 --> 00:03:10,385 ( Sighs ) 75 00:03:12,957 --> 00:03:14,490 ( Tisks ) 76 00:03:14,524 --> 00:03:16,993 She almost took my head off, but I don't like those teachers. 77 00:03:17,027 --> 00:03:18,828 I don't. Turn the boys into girls and-- 78 00:03:18,863 --> 00:03:21,132 - no, you know what? They're doing their best. - I have to say-- 79 00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:22,533 - hey! - Well well. 80 00:03:22,568 --> 00:03:25,303 - Hey. Hello. - Welcome. 81 00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:28,073 - Hello. - Oh my God, are you serious? 82 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,209 - Thank you. Yes, I'm serious. - Can you believe this? 83 00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:32,046 - It's been like a year he hasn't seen me. - A lot, I know. 84 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,614 - She lost a lot. - About 60, 65 lbs. 85 00:03:34,650 --> 00:03:36,651 - Susie and Jeff: Wow. - Unbelievable. 86 00:03:36,685 --> 00:03:38,453 - How'd you do it? - I walked, 87 00:03:38,487 --> 00:03:41,223 I watch what I eat and discipline. 88 00:03:41,258 --> 00:03:43,425 - A lot of celery. - Celery. Jeff, you hear that? 89 00:03:43,459 --> 00:03:45,726 - Celery. - Yeah, I heard celery. 90 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,496 - I'm just saying. - You're just saying? You're just annoying. 91 00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:51,631 - By the way, who's got the silver lexus? - Ron, why? 92 00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:54,266 Oh. He's not gonna like it. 93 00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:56,168 - Jeff: You hit it? - I'm afraid so. 94 00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:58,137 Oh God, he just got that car. 95 00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:02,106 I'm so stupid. I tried to back up with mirrors only. 96 00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:05,644 - Why? - I challenged myself to just use mirrors 97 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:08,480 - and it didn't work. - What do you think this is, the firecracker 400? 98 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:11,149 - It's a driveway. - All right, I'm gonna break the news to him. 99 00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:13,717 Eddie: All right. Hey, Funkhouser's in there too. 100 00:04:13,752 --> 00:04:15,552 He's got a little surprise for you. 101 00:04:15,586 --> 00:04:18,288 - Hey. How's it going? - Hey, Larry, how are you? Nice to see you. 102 00:04:18,322 --> 00:04:19,888 - Yeah, hi. - You remember my wife Ilene, right? 103 00:04:19,923 --> 00:04:21,691 - Sure, yeah. Hi. - Good to see you. 104 00:04:21,725 --> 00:04:23,292 We were just talking about the golf tournament. 105 00:04:23,327 --> 00:04:25,729 Thank you for allowing him to play in it. 106 00:04:25,762 --> 00:04:27,329 - Uh-huh. - Yeah, no, it's all right. 107 00:04:27,363 --> 00:04:29,497 Hey, listen, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, 108 00:04:29,532 --> 00:04:32,467 but I-- I kinda banged into your car. 109 00:04:32,501 --> 00:04:34,935 - How did you hit my car? - I backed into it. I'm sorry. 110 00:04:34,969 --> 00:04:36,903 - That's my new lexus. - I know. I'll pay for it. 111 00:04:36,938 --> 00:04:38,572 How did he hit your car? 112 00:04:38,606 --> 00:04:41,274 - Ron, what did I say when we drove into the driveway? - I know. 113 00:04:41,308 --> 00:04:43,644 "Not enough space. If you park there, someone's gonna hit you." 114 00:04:43,678 --> 00:04:45,514 Yeah, no, it's my-- it's my fault. 115 00:04:45,548 --> 00:04:47,115 It's my-- I'll pay for the whole thing. 116 00:04:47,149 --> 00:04:48,650 I'm just gonna take a look at it. 117 00:04:48,684 --> 00:04:50,117 - Oh God. Next time when I say... - Ron: I know. 118 00:04:50,152 --> 00:04:53,253 - ..."Don't park there," listen. - Ron: Okay. 119 00:04:53,287 --> 00:04:56,724 - Sammi? Hi. - Oh hey, Larry. 120 00:04:58,359 --> 00:05:00,661 - ( Chuckles ) - Shalom. 121 00:05:00,695 --> 00:05:02,228 All right, what the hell is this? 122 00:05:02,263 --> 00:05:03,997 - What? - The yarmulke. 123 00:05:04,032 --> 00:05:06,299 I went through a bit of a midlife crisis 124 00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:09,769 and I rededicated my life to judaism. 125 00:05:09,803 --> 00:05:13,573 - Are you for real? - I had a lot of schpilkas in my life 126 00:05:13,607 --> 00:05:17,177 and I didn't realize it. I went to rabbi Stein. Do you know her? 127 00:05:17,211 --> 00:05:19,378 - No, I don't. - Phenomenal. 128 00:05:19,413 --> 00:05:20,547 I go there every night. 129 00:05:20,582 --> 00:05:23,316 We talk. She's invigorating me. 130 00:05:23,350 --> 00:05:24,817 Is that why you haven't been practicing? 131 00:05:24,852 --> 00:05:26,786 We're depending on you. I hope you've got your swing. 132 00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:29,054 - I'm ready. I'm always ready. - Oh really? 133 00:05:29,088 --> 00:05:30,989 When are you gonna come back to earth, huh? 134 00:05:31,023 --> 00:05:34,460 I'm living under a mitzvah. You have none of that. 135 00:05:34,494 --> 00:05:36,161 ( Softly ) Hey, let me ask you something. 136 00:05:36,194 --> 00:05:38,763 What the hell is she doing here? 137 00:05:38,798 --> 00:05:40,298 Funkhouser: Why shouldn't she be here? 138 00:05:40,332 --> 00:05:43,335 What do you mean? It's a dinner party for adults. 139 00:05:43,369 --> 00:05:45,003 - Hey, dinner's up. - Larry: Hey. 140 00:05:45,037 --> 00:05:47,438 You know what? I have a challah in the car that I'll bring in. 141 00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:50,574 All right. So, you hungry? 142 00:05:50,609 --> 00:05:52,410 - Starving. - Good, we've got a great meal 143 00:05:52,444 --> 00:05:55,246 and some fabulous desserts, which by the way 144 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,247 I need you to keep me away from no matter what. 145 00:05:57,282 --> 00:05:59,850 - Okay. - Yeah, 'cause I put a lot of time into this. 146 00:05:59,885 --> 00:06:02,486 - I need a dessert referee. - All right, I'm your guy. 147 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,921 - You promise? - Yeah, I promise. 148 00:06:04,956 --> 00:06:06,523 - Okay, I'm counting on you. - All right. 149 00:06:06,557 --> 00:06:08,692 ( Chanting prayer in Hebrew ) 150 00:06:13,797 --> 00:06:15,865 - Eddie and Juliet: Amen. - Now the wine. 151 00:06:15,899 --> 00:06:17,199 - Larry: What? - Okay. 152 00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:19,002 - ( Praying ) - No way. No way. 153 00:06:19,036 --> 00:06:20,903 That's enough. Come on. No. 154 00:06:20,937 --> 00:06:23,839 - I'm hungry. - Well, you can't drink the wine without the prayer. 155 00:06:23,874 --> 00:06:25,374 Oh, you can't? Really? Watch this. 156 00:06:25,408 --> 00:06:27,243 - ( Eddie laughs ) - Mmm. 157 00:06:27,277 --> 00:06:29,076 - I'm with Larry on this. - I guess we're drinking. 158 00:06:29,111 --> 00:06:31,245 To the five-man club championship. 159 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:33,915 - Hear hear. - Now you're thinking. 160 00:06:33,950 --> 00:06:36,251 - Ron: Absolute, bud. No doubt. - Ahh. 161 00:06:36,285 --> 00:06:38,586 - Eddie: Cheers. - Juliet: Everybody eat up. Come on. 162 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:39,821 Oh, did you guys hear about this? 163 00:06:39,856 --> 00:06:42,390 Do you know that-- the chicken place 164 00:06:42,424 --> 00:06:44,192 in Westwood, the palestinian one? 165 00:06:44,226 --> 00:06:45,761 - Al-- what is it called? - Al-Abbas best original chicken. 166 00:06:45,795 --> 00:06:48,328 Al-Abbas best original chicken. 167 00:06:48,363 --> 00:06:50,330 They're opening up a second location 168 00:06:50,364 --> 00:06:52,400 right next door to Goldblatt's deli. 169 00:06:52,434 --> 00:06:55,902 - Over my dead body. - I'm sure that wouldn't bother them. 170 00:06:55,936 --> 00:06:58,471 - ( Guys laugh ) - L.O.L., Jeff. 171 00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,407 - L.O.L. - ( Jeff chuckles ) 172 00:07:00,441 --> 00:07:02,075 Funkhouser: How in the world, 173 00:07:02,109 --> 00:07:05,712 can they dare open up a palestinian chicken restaurant 174 00:07:05,746 --> 00:07:07,646 next to the sacred land of that deli? 175 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,381 Hey, this is America. They can do whatever they want. 176 00:07:10,416 --> 00:07:12,118 - What do you mean? - Ilene: It's just chicken. 177 00:07:12,153 --> 00:07:14,521 I mean, they can legally do it, true. But should they? 178 00:07:14,555 --> 00:07:16,857 - Yeah, they should. Yeah, they should. - Ilene: Exactly. 179 00:07:16,891 --> 00:07:19,424 It's insensitive. Why can't they open it a few blocks uptown? 180 00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:21,294 They should move it a mile away. 181 00:07:21,328 --> 00:07:23,229 I hear the chicken's really good, by the way. 182 00:07:23,263 --> 00:07:25,632 - I heard that too. Very good. - Didn't you hear that? 183 00:07:25,666 --> 00:07:29,069 - Ron: What does it matter? - I hear it's the best chicken ever. 184 00:07:29,103 --> 00:07:31,571 I tell you what I heard. There's gonna be a rally next week 185 00:07:31,605 --> 00:07:33,405 at this new location they're trying to open. 186 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,009 We should all show up at the rally and try to stop them from opening it. 187 00:07:36,043 --> 00:07:38,044 - Funkhouser: Count me in. - Jeff, we're going, okay? 188 00:07:38,078 --> 00:07:40,312 - Whatever you say, darling. - We're going. 189 00:07:40,347 --> 00:07:42,281 Jeff and I are in. We're in on the rally. 190 00:07:42,315 --> 00:07:43,716 I'm gonna make placards and everything. 191 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,852 I'll love to join you, but I'm already committed 192 00:07:45,886 --> 00:07:48,252 to the rally on the other side of Goldblatt's at the German place. 193 00:07:48,287 --> 00:07:50,455 - ( All laugh ) - Susie: Yeah, okay. 194 00:07:52,058 --> 00:07:54,826 - It's good, yeah? How are the potatoes? - Ron: Mmm, delicious. 195 00:07:54,861 --> 00:07:58,164 - Susie: Delish. - I'd say the potatoes are a little cold. 196 00:07:58,198 --> 00:08:00,633 - ( Ron chuckles ) Wow, Larry. - The beef is delicious. 197 00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,202 - Larry, what? - Juliet: They're not-- 198 00:08:02,235 --> 00:08:03,935 - they're not cold. - What? What's the big deal? 199 00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:06,639 - The chutzpah, man. - Do you want me to warm them up for you? 200 00:08:06,672 --> 00:08:09,408 Not at all. Not at all. Hey, I got a good joke. 201 00:08:09,442 --> 00:08:12,343 This is right up your alley, okay, Funkman? 202 00:08:12,379 --> 00:08:15,713 A woman goes to a gynecologist. He says, "get up on the table, 203 00:08:15,748 --> 00:08:18,116 put your feet in the stirrups and spread your legs wide." 204 00:08:18,150 --> 00:08:21,420 He goes, "my God, Mrs. Johnson, you've got a big vagina." 205 00:08:21,454 --> 00:08:23,588 - Whoa whoa whoa! Larry. - ( Jeff laughs ) 206 00:08:23,623 --> 00:08:26,991 - What? - Sammi's here, okay? 207 00:08:27,025 --> 00:08:28,926 What's the big deal? It's just a little joke. 208 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,195 - Ahh. - Funkhouser: And what happens? 209 00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:34,164 Excuse me. 210 00:08:37,536 --> 00:08:40,036 What's the matter with you? Telling a joke like that in front of her. 211 00:08:40,071 --> 00:08:42,739 What are you bringing your daughter to an adult dinner party for? 212 00:08:42,774 --> 00:08:45,008 She's an adult. She can come to an adult dinner party. 213 00:08:45,042 --> 00:08:47,176 She's an adult? If she's an adult, why can't she hear a dirty joke? 214 00:08:47,211 --> 00:08:48,812 - There's a level, okay? - Larry: A level? 215 00:08:48,847 --> 00:08:51,081 - Yeah. - Oh, there's a level of being an adult? 216 00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:54,883 She's an adult when she turns 13 or learns to make her first latkes. 217 00:08:54,918 --> 00:08:58,354 - ( Laughter ) - L.O.L. 218 00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:13,368 ( Chatting ) 219 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,641 ( Both laugh ) 220 00:09:19,675 --> 00:09:21,210 - No no no. No no no. - Huh-uh-uh. 221 00:09:21,244 --> 00:09:23,578 I'm just gonna have a bite. Oh no no no no no. 222 00:09:23,613 --> 00:09:25,346 - Just a bite. Come on. - You know what? 223 00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:29,451 You told me specifically not to let you have any dessert. 224 00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,385 I appreciate it, Larry, but I changed my mind. 225 00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:33,154 Ah! Yes yes yes, 226 00:09:33,188 --> 00:09:36,590 - but you said "no matter what," okay? - But you know what? 227 00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:39,593 I'm changing it, and now I'm saying thank you for helping me. 228 00:09:39,627 --> 00:09:41,963 - I'm gonna have some cake. - No no, but you can't change it. 229 00:09:41,997 --> 00:09:45,000 That's why you say "no matter what. " This is the what. 230 00:09:45,034 --> 00:09:47,736 - But now-- - That's why you asked me and not these other people, 231 00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:50,605 - because you knew I wouldn't let you. - What what what? Larry. 232 00:09:50,639 --> 00:09:53,775 - Give me the cake! - She told me not to let her have it, okay? 233 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:56,211 She said, "no matter what," okay? 234 00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:59,013 - Let her have it! It's none of your goddamn business! - ( All shouting ) 235 00:09:59,047 --> 00:10:00,781 Give me the cake, Larry! 236 00:10:00,815 --> 00:10:03,650 What are you doing? What are you-- ah! 237 00:10:07,255 --> 00:10:09,690 Ron: I got an estimate on the car. 238 00:10:09,723 --> 00:10:11,625 - $573? - Yeah. 239 00:10:11,659 --> 00:10:13,759 Okay, I'll tell you what-- forget the insurance. 240 00:10:13,793 --> 00:10:15,694 I'll just write you a check. I'll take care of it. 241 00:10:15,728 --> 00:10:17,830 Well, I think that's one way to do it, 242 00:10:17,864 --> 00:10:21,032 but let me propose an alternative here. 243 00:10:21,067 --> 00:10:23,301 Indulge me for a second. 244 00:10:23,335 --> 00:10:26,871 Last night at that dinner party, you-- you really impressed me. 245 00:10:26,905 --> 00:10:29,440 - ( Scoffs ) I did? - Well, you just speak your mind, you know? 246 00:10:29,475 --> 00:10:32,109 You tell people how you're feeling, what you're thinking-- 247 00:10:32,143 --> 00:10:34,311 with the potatoes, for example. You know? 248 00:10:34,345 --> 00:10:36,714 - How cold were those potatoes, by the way? - They were freezing. 249 00:10:36,748 --> 00:10:40,016 I couldn't say that. You're the only one who can come out with it, you know? 250 00:10:40,051 --> 00:10:41,851 And then Jeff and Susie with the kid. 251 00:10:41,886 --> 00:10:43,319 What was the kid doing there, right? 252 00:10:43,354 --> 00:10:45,521 Why do you bring your daughter to an adult dinner party? 253 00:10:45,556 --> 00:10:47,590 Exactly. You say what everybody's thinking. 254 00:10:47,624 --> 00:10:50,894 You just come out with it. It's impressive, you know? 255 00:10:50,929 --> 00:10:53,365 Well, you know, thank you. 256 00:10:53,399 --> 00:10:55,165 So I don't know if you noticed this last night, 257 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,636 but my wife Ilene, she says "L.O.L." 258 00:10:57,670 --> 00:10:59,371 I don't know if you picked up on that that. 259 00:10:59,405 --> 00:11:02,942 - Oh, yes, I certainly did pick up on that. - Yeah? 260 00:11:02,976 --> 00:11:06,312 I mean, why would you say "L.O.L. " Instead of just laughing at something? 261 00:11:06,346 --> 00:11:08,882 - Well, just tell her to stop saying it. - I can't tell her that. 262 00:11:08,916 --> 00:11:11,184 She'll kill me. Are you kidding? 263 00:11:11,219 --> 00:11:12,951 We'll get into a fight, it'll last for months. 264 00:11:12,986 --> 00:11:15,222 - She's a tough customer. - Yes she-- you noticed that? 265 00:11:15,256 --> 00:11:17,491 She's like-- she's like Susie's twin sister. 266 00:11:17,526 --> 00:11:19,793 I know. I'd just like to avoid the whole thing, 267 00:11:19,828 --> 00:11:21,563 and I was just wondering, maybe... 268 00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:24,266 You could say it to her, you know? 269 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:27,168 You know? You just put it out there, 'cause that's what you do. 270 00:11:27,202 --> 00:11:29,370 And I'll tell you what. You do that for me, 271 00:11:29,404 --> 00:11:31,005 you see this estimate? 272 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,041 ( Mimics rip ) Gone. I will tear it up. 273 00:11:33,075 --> 00:11:35,444 - I will pay for it myself. - Let me see if I've got this right. 274 00:11:35,478 --> 00:11:37,446 - Yeah. - I tell her to stop saying "L.O.L."... 275 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,684 - Yes, it's annoying. Gone. - ...And you tear up the bill. 276 00:11:40,718 --> 00:11:42,518 - Come on, please. Deal. - Yeah? 277 00:11:42,552 --> 00:11:44,787 - Yeah, you've got it. - It's a deal. Thank you so much. 278 00:11:44,822 --> 00:11:46,989 This is-- oh, you've taken a load off my shoulders, 279 00:11:47,023 --> 00:11:48,257 - let me tell you. - Hi, Larry. 280 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,724 - Larry: Hey. - Hi, honey. 281 00:11:49,758 --> 00:11:51,390 Honey, can you get the rest of the bags? 282 00:11:51,424 --> 00:11:53,992 - Yeah yeah yeah, I'll go get 'em. - Larry: Okay. 283 00:11:54,026 --> 00:11:57,528 God, that store was so crowded. 284 00:11:57,562 --> 00:12:00,797 - Crowded? - How are you? 285 00:12:00,831 --> 00:12:03,666 - Not bad. - Good. 286 00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:05,666 I noticed you were all alone at the party. 287 00:12:05,701 --> 00:12:08,733 - Oh, you did notice that? - Yeah. Are you dating? 288 00:12:08,768 --> 00:12:11,067 - No. No. - Why not? 289 00:12:11,101 --> 00:12:13,167 ( Scoffs ) You know what? 290 00:12:13,202 --> 00:12:15,002 A date is an experience you have with another person 291 00:12:15,036 --> 00:12:18,305 - that makes you appreciate being alone. - L.O.L. 292 00:12:18,339 --> 00:12:20,608 L.O.L. 293 00:12:20,642 --> 00:12:22,810 You-- you like saying that, don't you? 294 00:12:22,844 --> 00:12:24,344 It's cute, right? 295 00:12:24,379 --> 00:12:26,413 No. Not-- not really. 296 00:12:26,447 --> 00:12:29,415 - What do you mean? - I mean, if you were gonna laugh out loud, 297 00:12:29,451 --> 00:12:31,685 why aren't you laughing out loud? Why say it? 298 00:12:31,719 --> 00:12:33,653 - Why not just laugh? - I am laughing. 299 00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:35,955 That's what that is. It's me-- that's laughing. 300 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,324 No, you're saying "L.O.L." You're verbal texting. 301 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:42,128 Excuse me, is this your little idea? 302 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:45,831 Did my pissant husband tell you to do this? 303 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:47,833 - No. - Yes, he did. 304 00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,736 - Larry: No, he did not. - Yes, he did. 305 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,470 - He didn't! - No, you're in my house, 306 00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:54,139 my kitchen, telling me how I'm supposed to respond to your jokes? 307 00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:55,974 - Can you believe it? I left the gate open. - Ron, are you fucking 308 00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:57,475 - out of your mind? - What are you talking about? 309 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,411 Did you tell him to come over to me 310 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,613 and tell me how I should stop saying "L.O.L."? 311 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,549 Did I tell Larry that? Of course I wouldn't tell Larry that. 312 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:06,418 - Yes. Oh yes, you would. - No no no, he's the guy who does this. 313 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,454 Ilene: And you care how I express myself? 314 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:11,925 - I think the way you express yourself is like a child. - That's bullshit. 315 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,695 He said he'd forget about the money for the car, 316 00:13:15,730 --> 00:13:18,030 which is $573, 317 00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:20,500 if I tell her to stop saying "L.O.L." 318 00:13:20,535 --> 00:13:22,168 You know, in most countries, 319 00:13:22,203 --> 00:13:24,335 you could get somebody killed for $573. 320 00:13:24,369 --> 00:13:26,769 I know. By the way, I was this close 321 00:13:26,804 --> 00:13:29,137 - to telling her the other night. - You know what you are? 322 00:13:29,170 --> 00:13:31,939 - You're a social assassin. - Jesus. 323 00:13:31,974 --> 00:13:35,577 - I guess I am, in a way. - Yeah. How'd it go? 324 00:13:35,611 --> 00:13:39,179 Not too good. As soon as I told her, she knew Ron had put me up to it, 325 00:13:39,214 --> 00:13:42,148 she started screaming at him and I just-- I left. 326 00:13:42,182 --> 00:13:44,450 - So you bungled the hit. - Well, I didn't bungle it. 327 00:13:44,485 --> 00:13:46,552 - I did what I was supposed to do. - No no, you bungled the hit. 328 00:13:46,586 --> 00:13:48,485 - Why are you saying that? - She knew. 329 00:13:48,521 --> 00:13:51,055 - That's not my fault. - It is. Your performance wasn't good enough. 330 00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:52,724 What do you know out social assassination? 331 00:13:52,759 --> 00:13:54,994 - Nothing! - I'm the one who named you a social assassin! 332 00:13:55,028 --> 00:13:57,329 - And we don't want you here at the agency anymore. - ( Both laugh ) 333 00:13:57,364 --> 00:13:58,731 - Okay. - ( Car approaches ) 334 00:13:58,766 --> 00:14:00,366 - Jeff: All right, finally. - There he is. 335 00:14:00,401 --> 00:14:03,137 I cannot believe we talked him into coming here. 336 00:14:03,171 --> 00:14:05,072 - He's gonna love it. He's gonna love it. - Yeah, huh. 337 00:14:06,508 --> 00:14:09,243 Shalom. You know, I thought all last night, 338 00:14:09,277 --> 00:14:11,812 if rabin can break bread with Arafat, 339 00:14:11,846 --> 00:14:15,650 I can have chicken at this anti-semitic shithole. 340 00:14:16,752 --> 00:14:18,584 Okay, that's just not gonna work. 341 00:14:18,619 --> 00:14:20,153 - Yeah, that's no good. - What's not gonna work? 342 00:14:20,187 --> 00:14:21,386 - The yarmulke. - Yeah. 343 00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:23,622 I can't go in wearing this yarmulke? 344 00:14:23,657 --> 00:14:24,957 - No. - You're shoving it in their faces. 345 00:14:24,991 --> 00:14:26,558 - Let's go in. - No no no no no no. 346 00:14:26,592 --> 00:14:28,660 - It's far too cocky a move. - Yeah. Yeah. 347 00:14:28,694 --> 00:14:30,228 What is this, the raid on Entebbe? 348 00:14:30,262 --> 00:14:32,296 - Let's just kind of walk in casually. - What? 349 00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:35,267 - Proud Jews wear yarmulkes. - Yeah. Be proud here in the parking lot. 350 00:14:35,301 --> 00:14:37,035 - Stop it. Just take it off. - You don't need to be proud in there. 351 00:14:37,069 --> 00:14:38,836 - Let's just go in and sit down. - It's a cocky move. 352 00:14:38,871 --> 00:14:40,337 - Take it off. Take it off. - Come on. 353 00:14:40,372 --> 00:14:41,872 - I'm not doing anything-- - Take it off. 354 00:14:41,906 --> 00:14:43,373 - Don't you dare go after-- - Huh? Come on, take it-- 355 00:14:43,407 --> 00:14:46,643 don't you reach for that. Don't you ever touch that. 356 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:49,245 - No, don't ever grab my yarmulke. - ( Grunting ) 357 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:52,413 Give it to me! Don't ever grab my yarmulke, ever. 358 00:14:52,449 --> 00:14:55,850 How dare you?! Don't ever touch my yarmulke. 359 00:14:55,885 --> 00:14:58,419 - Do you understand? - What the hell is that? 360 00:14:58,453 --> 00:15:01,522 - We're gonna go eat without you. - Good. Who needs you? 361 00:15:01,556 --> 00:15:04,357 - Get-- get out of here! - ( Cheering ) 362 00:15:12,131 --> 00:15:15,265 Oh please. Thank you. Thank you. 363 00:15:16,968 --> 00:15:19,303 Oh. Well, hello. 364 00:15:19,337 --> 00:15:22,805 - You're a Jew, yes? - Yes, I am a Jew. 365 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,108 A big Jew. Big. 366 00:15:26,143 --> 00:15:30,077 A big Jew and you still told him to take off his Jew cap. 367 00:15:30,111 --> 00:15:32,913 - Yes, I did. - Thank you, my friend. 368 00:15:32,946 --> 00:15:36,949 - What's your name? - Labe. 369 00:15:36,983 --> 00:15:39,251 - Labe. - Son of Nat. 370 00:15:39,285 --> 00:15:42,487 - Son of Nat. - My friends call me Larry. 371 00:15:42,521 --> 00:15:45,724 - I like you. - What's not to like? 372 00:15:45,758 --> 00:15:48,828 - Uh, you're a Jew. - Eh. 373 00:15:48,863 --> 00:15:51,232 My name is Shara. 374 00:15:52,501 --> 00:15:54,635 - Shara. - Call me. 375 00:16:02,112 --> 00:16:04,180 Let's get some chicken. 376 00:16:08,588 --> 00:16:10,526 Mmm. 377 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,763 - How happy are you right now? - I'm not gonna have dinner tonight. 378 00:16:13,798 --> 00:16:16,534 It'll pale in comparison. How can you even have meals after this? 379 00:16:16,568 --> 00:16:19,403 - Oh my God. - What? 380 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:22,005 Larry: Eddie and Ilene just walked in. 381 00:16:22,039 --> 00:16:25,908 Jeff: Eddie and Ilene? He's cheating on Juliet? 382 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:29,311 - Holy shit. - Oh my God! 383 00:16:29,345 --> 00:16:31,147 All right, listen. 384 00:16:31,181 --> 00:16:33,282 Juliet is great friends with Susie. 385 00:16:33,317 --> 00:16:35,118 If he's cheating on Juliet, I can't be here to see it. 386 00:16:35,153 --> 00:16:36,453 - What? - I am out of here. 387 00:16:36,487 --> 00:16:38,087 - What the hell am I gonna do? - I don't know. 388 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,622 - You're taking the chicken? - Yes, of course. 389 00:16:39,656 --> 00:16:41,423 What, I'm gonna leave it? 390 00:16:53,836 --> 00:16:56,271 - Hey. - Hey. Hi. 391 00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:59,207 ( Mimics Humphrey bogart ) Out of all the hummus joints in all the world, 392 00:16:59,241 --> 00:17:01,541 - you had to walk into mine. - ( Both laugh ) 393 00:17:01,576 --> 00:17:03,944 It's great to see you. And let me just say 394 00:17:03,978 --> 00:17:06,312 I'm sorry about the brownie thing the other night with Juliet. 395 00:17:06,346 --> 00:17:09,647 - No hard feelings. - You know, she did say 396 00:17:09,682 --> 00:17:11,582 - "no matter what." - Yeah yeah yeah, I-- 397 00:17:11,616 --> 00:17:13,217 all right, look, 398 00:17:13,251 --> 00:17:15,753 don't say anything about this, all right? 399 00:17:15,787 --> 00:17:17,687 - ( Chuckles ) - No, don't-- don't say anything about this. 400 00:17:17,722 --> 00:17:20,055 - Don't-- don't worry. I won't say anything. - All right? 401 00:17:20,090 --> 00:17:23,295 Because you know what? The only reason we're here together now 402 00:17:23,329 --> 00:17:26,500 is because she had a big fight with Ron, okay? 403 00:17:26,534 --> 00:17:28,503 So she reached out as a friend. 404 00:17:28,538 --> 00:17:32,573 You know, we always liked each other and now we like each other a little more. 405 00:17:32,609 --> 00:17:34,476 Maybe a lot more. 406 00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:37,179 So the two of you got together because of this argument? 407 00:17:37,213 --> 00:17:39,281 Well, there's always been a lot of tension there, 408 00:17:39,315 --> 00:17:41,885 but let's just say this was the straw that broke the camel's back. 409 00:17:41,919 --> 00:17:45,121 - I guess I shouldn't say that here. - What was the argument about? 410 00:17:45,155 --> 00:17:47,124 He doesn't like the way she keeps saying "L.O.L." 411 00:17:47,157 --> 00:17:49,492 It's a wonderful thing to say. I love when she says "L.O.L." 412 00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:51,895 That's one of the reasons we're together. I think it's cool, it's funny. 413 00:17:51,929 --> 00:17:53,463 I think if you didn't want to sleep with her, 414 00:17:53,497 --> 00:17:54,964 you wouldn't be so tolerant of that "L.O.L." 415 00:17:54,999 --> 00:17:58,401 Well, that goes without saying, but look, if Ron finds out, 416 00:17:58,435 --> 00:18:00,469 this could be very awkward. We won't be able to play 417 00:18:00,504 --> 00:18:01,905 on the same team and then we won't win the tournament. 418 00:18:01,939 --> 00:18:03,873 If anyone quits, we're disqualified. 419 00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:06,074 - Okay, don't worry about it. I'm not gonna say a word. - All right. 420 00:18:06,109 --> 00:18:07,909 - Okay. - Promise. 421 00:18:07,944 --> 00:18:09,644 In other words, no matter what? 422 00:18:09,678 --> 00:18:12,181 - Huh? - No matter what. 423 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,584 By the way, your lunch is on me. 424 00:18:14,618 --> 00:18:16,887 - I already paid for it. - Even better. 425 00:18:20,793 --> 00:18:22,828 Larry: So then he tells me the only reason 426 00:18:22,862 --> 00:18:24,795 that they're having this affair 427 00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:27,429 was because of the "L.O.L. " Thing. I drove her to it. 428 00:18:27,463 --> 00:18:30,130 Well, I'm sure there was other things that drove her to it too. 429 00:18:30,165 --> 00:18:33,032 No, I was the straw that broke the camel's back. 430 00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:36,199 - All marriages have straws. - Right, the camel's carrying a lot of straw. 431 00:18:36,233 --> 00:18:39,202 - That's what a marriage is. - "L.O.L." Was the final straw. 432 00:18:39,236 --> 00:18:41,471 - "L.O.L." Was the final straw, yes. - Wow. 433 00:18:41,506 --> 00:18:44,909 I've gotta be careful with this whole social- assassination thing. 434 00:18:44,943 --> 00:18:47,678 - I'm not taking any more requests. - Let me tell you something. 435 00:18:47,712 --> 00:18:49,980 If Ron finds out about Eddie and Ilene, 436 00:18:50,014 --> 00:18:52,315 - tournament over. Done. - No golf. 437 00:18:52,350 --> 00:18:54,150 - Ron's not gonna play on this team... - Jeff: Not a chance. 438 00:18:54,184 --> 00:18:56,885 - ...If he's having an affair with his wife. - Jeff: No way. 439 00:18:56,919 --> 00:18:58,988 Hey, nice pillow. 440 00:18:59,022 --> 00:19:01,823 - Yeah, um-- - You look like Blofeld. 441 00:19:01,858 --> 00:19:04,526 I look like I've got a kitty 442 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,929 and we're making evil plans. 443 00:19:06,963 --> 00:19:09,131 Here, just put it on your lap. 444 00:19:11,668 --> 00:19:13,902 ( Car alarm chirps ) 445 00:19:13,936 --> 00:19:17,305 Larry, there's something I want to talk to you about. 446 00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:20,241 I think I know what it is. I'm sorry about the joke. 447 00:19:20,276 --> 00:19:22,943 - It's obviously not-- - I-- I didn't really care about the joke. 448 00:19:22,978 --> 00:19:24,477 That's not why I got up and left. 449 00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,312 Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. 450 00:19:26,347 --> 00:19:28,614 I don't know if you've noticed or not, 451 00:19:28,649 --> 00:19:31,149 every time after my mom takes a sip of something, 452 00:19:31,184 --> 00:19:33,351 she makes this really obnoxious sound. 453 00:19:33,386 --> 00:19:35,688 She smacks her lips together and does this little 454 00:19:35,722 --> 00:19:37,122 "ahh" thing. 455 00:19:37,157 --> 00:19:38,423 - Huh. - Have you noticed that? 456 00:19:38,458 --> 00:19:40,025 - I have noticed, yeah. - It's awful. 457 00:19:40,059 --> 00:19:41,994 - "Ahh." Right? Isn't that it? - It's horrible. 458 00:19:42,029 --> 00:19:44,996 It's humiliating. All of my friends make fun of me in the morning 459 00:19:45,029 --> 00:19:48,465 when she drops me off. I just-- I can't take it anymore. 460 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,600 Someone has to tell her to stop and it has to be you, 461 00:19:50,635 --> 00:19:52,469 because you're the only one who can stand up to her. 462 00:19:52,503 --> 00:19:53,937 Look, I'm flattered, kid, 463 00:19:53,971 --> 00:19:56,873 that you would consider me for such a delicate assignment, 464 00:19:56,907 --> 00:19:58,976 but I have to tell you I'm-- 465 00:19:59,010 --> 00:20:01,511 ( tisks ) I'm out of that business. 466 00:20:01,545 --> 00:20:04,181 - Ask your father, he'll do it. - My dad is spineless. 467 00:20:04,215 --> 00:20:06,082 He can't stand up to her. He's scared of her. 468 00:20:06,116 --> 00:20:08,017 You're the only one who can do it. 469 00:20:08,051 --> 00:20:10,219 As tempting as it is, kid, 470 00:20:10,253 --> 00:20:13,355 I'm not your man. 471 00:20:13,390 --> 00:20:15,224 But you-- but you-- 472 00:20:21,230 --> 00:20:24,832 so I guess you won't be playing golf on Saturday. 473 00:20:26,235 --> 00:20:27,668 - What are you talking about? - I couldn't help 474 00:20:27,703 --> 00:20:29,703 but overhear some of the conversation you were having 475 00:20:29,737 --> 00:20:34,508 with my dad. And it seems if Ron were to find out about his wife, 476 00:20:34,542 --> 00:20:37,578 then your little golf game would be called off. 477 00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:41,982 - You would do that? - Try me. 478 00:20:44,485 --> 00:20:46,586 - All right. - So you're gonna talk to my mom? 479 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,722 - I'll talk to your mom. - Good. 480 00:20:49,756 --> 00:20:53,692 Boy, you really are your mother's daughter, aren't you? 481 00:20:53,727 --> 00:20:57,262 Yeah, now get the fuck out of my driveway, you bald prick. 482 00:21:01,068 --> 00:21:04,203 Fuck me, you fucking Jew! 483 00:21:04,237 --> 00:21:05,804 - ( Moaning ) - Filthy Jew. 484 00:21:05,838 --> 00:21:07,940 - Filthy Jew. - Filthy fucking Jew! 485 00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,742 You zionist pig. You occupying fuck. 486 00:21:10,777 --> 00:21:13,578 - Occupy this. Yeah. - Yeah, I'm an occupier. I'm an occupier. 487 00:21:13,612 --> 00:21:16,347 I'm going to fuck the Jew out of you. 488 00:21:16,382 --> 00:21:18,183 - Yeah. - Well, that's not so easy. 489 00:21:18,217 --> 00:21:21,485 You want to fuck me like Israel fucked my country? 490 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:25,556 - Show me what you've got! - This reminds me of something Theodor herzl once said. 491 00:21:25,590 --> 00:21:28,358 - Shalom, L.D. - ( Shara moaning ) 492 00:21:31,396 --> 00:21:34,464 Yeah, take it, Jew. Take it, Jew. 493 00:21:34,498 --> 00:21:35,765 Oh! 494 00:21:35,799 --> 00:21:38,501 Fuck me, you Jew bastard! 495 00:21:38,535 --> 00:21:42,238 Fuck me like Israel fucks my people! 496 00:21:42,272 --> 00:21:43,939 Show me the promised land, huh? 497 00:21:43,973 --> 00:21:45,907 Labe, son of Nat. 498 00:21:45,942 --> 00:21:48,076 Keep my father out of it, will you? 499 00:21:48,110 --> 00:21:52,147 - You circumcised fuck. - Oh! Oh! 500 00:21:52,181 --> 00:21:55,082 Larry: "We seek him here, we seek him there, 501 00:21:55,116 --> 00:21:57,551 those frenchies seek him everywhere, 502 00:21:57,585 --> 00:22:01,253 is he in heaven, is he in hell? 503 00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:06,324 "That damned elusive pimpernel." 504 00:22:07,392 --> 00:22:11,295 Funkman. Look who's here. 505 00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:14,130 Well well. 506 00:22:14,165 --> 00:22:17,901 Martin, Shara. 507 00:22:17,935 --> 00:22:21,569 Shara, Martin. 508 00:22:24,575 --> 00:22:26,477 All right then. Shall we? 509 00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:28,313 ( Door opens ) 510 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,348 Good night. 511 00:22:37,427 --> 00:22:40,329 - Problem? - "Fuck me, Jew bastard"? 512 00:22:40,363 --> 00:22:42,898 Yeah, small price to pay 513 00:22:42,932 --> 00:22:46,634 for the best sex I've ever had anywhere. 514 00:22:46,669 --> 00:22:48,203 This woman is amazing. 515 00:22:48,238 --> 00:22:49,771 When did you have your orgasm? 516 00:22:49,806 --> 00:22:51,973 When she said she'd fuck the Jew out of you? 517 00:22:52,007 --> 00:22:54,642 Let me tell you something. The penis doesn't care 518 00:22:54,676 --> 00:22:57,043 about race, creed and color. 519 00:22:57,079 --> 00:22:59,413 The penis wants to get to his homeland. 520 00:22:59,448 --> 00:23:00,815 It wants to go home. 521 00:23:00,849 --> 00:23:03,017 I came over here for another reason. 522 00:23:03,051 --> 00:23:06,319 Rabbi Stein said that I can't play 523 00:23:06,354 --> 00:23:09,988 in the golf tournament Saturday because I have to honor the sabbath. 524 00:23:10,958 --> 00:23:12,191 You're koufaxing us? 525 00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:14,593 Well, if you're saying that your best player 526 00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:17,762 is unable to play because it's the sabbath, yes, I'm koufaxing you. 527 00:23:17,796 --> 00:23:19,663 So you're gonna have to get someone else. 528 00:23:19,698 --> 00:23:21,799 The tournament won't let us get anybody else, 529 00:23:21,835 --> 00:23:24,603 and if you don't play, we all drop out. It's over for us. 530 00:23:24,638 --> 00:23:28,473 I'm following her lead. She told me what I have to do. 531 00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:31,242 - I can't play. - What if I talked to the rabbi? 532 00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:33,411 I'd love you to. She's in the valley off of Brookhurst. 533 00:23:33,445 --> 00:23:36,249 And if she gives the okay, would you play? 534 00:23:36,283 --> 00:23:38,384 I'll be there. 535 00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:42,020 Our friendship is about that much now. 536 00:23:42,055 --> 00:23:44,156 I'll tell you what! If you you don't play in that golf tournament, 537 00:23:44,191 --> 00:23:47,860 - it's over! How about that?! - Why don't you go wrap your head in a towel? 538 00:23:47,894 --> 00:23:49,463 You're not even a man anymore! 539 00:23:49,497 --> 00:23:53,298 Mommy rabbi says don't play, little boy! 540 00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:54,632 Don't you tell me to get out of your-- 541 00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:57,200 hey, you dropped your yarmulke! 542 00:23:57,235 --> 00:23:59,803 Oh my God! Yarmulke alert! 543 00:23:59,838 --> 00:24:04,072 Oh! Sirens! Yarmulke on the floor! Oh! 544 00:24:16,249 --> 00:24:19,384 ( Slurps ) Mmm. 545 00:24:22,422 --> 00:24:25,825 - Can I have the Weinstein file? - Oh, I'll get it for you. 546 00:24:25,859 --> 00:24:27,759 And Larry David's here. 547 00:24:27,793 --> 00:24:30,962 - Come on in. - Oh, well, I came a little early. 548 00:24:30,997 --> 00:24:32,797 - I was gonna finish my lunch. - Well, that's all right. 549 00:24:32,832 --> 00:24:35,534 - You can finish in my office. - Okay. 550 00:24:37,470 --> 00:24:38,870 Is that Al-Abbas chicken? 551 00:24:38,904 --> 00:24:42,106 Oh. Yeah. Fantastic. 552 00:24:45,144 --> 00:24:48,546 - That looks delicious. - Yeah. You don't mind? 553 00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:52,115 - You're sure you don't mind? Huh? - No. No no, finish your lunch. 554 00:24:52,149 --> 00:24:56,385 You know, I know we have our problems with these people 555 00:24:56,419 --> 00:25:00,590 but, man, oh man, they know what they're doing chickenwise. 556 00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:02,124 Well, keep that away from me no matter what. 557 00:25:02,159 --> 00:25:04,995 - ( Chuckles ) - Okay. 558 00:25:13,304 --> 00:25:15,036 - Give it to me! - You said, "no matter what"! 559 00:25:15,071 --> 00:25:18,273 - Give me that! Give me that! - Rabbi! No, let go! 560 00:25:21,410 --> 00:25:23,412 - We are playing so great. - I'm having a blast. 561 00:25:23,446 --> 00:25:25,014 - Are you? Huh? - I don't think I've ever played better. 562 00:25:25,048 --> 00:25:28,316 - You haven't missed a fairway. - Hey, I'm tired of asking. 563 00:25:28,351 --> 00:25:30,284 How did you get the rabbi to let me play? 564 00:25:30,318 --> 00:25:33,120 - I can't tell you. - No, please tell me. 565 00:25:33,155 --> 00:25:37,456 All right, let's just say I had something she really wanted. 566 00:25:37,491 --> 00:25:39,357 You made a trade with the rabbi? 567 00:25:39,392 --> 00:25:41,693 - Yeah, I made a trade. - Well, I'm glad you did. 568 00:25:41,727 --> 00:25:44,028 Hey, I just found out the klein team blew up. 569 00:25:44,063 --> 00:25:45,898 We're four strokes ahead after this hole. 570 00:25:45,932 --> 00:25:47,633 All we have to do is finish on 18 and we win. 571 00:25:47,667 --> 00:25:50,302 - It's a lock. - Fantastic! 572 00:25:50,337 --> 00:25:52,804 - It's a lock. - We're gonna win a tournament. 573 00:25:52,838 --> 00:25:54,573 We're gonna win a tournament. 574 00:25:54,608 --> 00:25:56,709 - Come on, Larry. - Jeff: Let's go, daddy-o. 575 00:25:56,743 --> 00:25:59,045 - Funkhouser: No pressure, L.D. All we need is a two-putt. - Ron: Come on, Larry. 576 00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:01,214 - Jeff. - Funkhouser: Let's get to 18. 577 00:26:03,050 --> 00:26:05,685 - Okay. - Funkhouser: Inside left, L.D. 578 00:26:05,719 --> 00:26:07,653 - Relax. - Ron: Take it. 579 00:26:11,423 --> 00:26:13,524 Ahh. 580 00:26:21,967 --> 00:26:23,567 - Hey, what are you doing? - What are you doing? 581 00:26:23,601 --> 00:26:25,502 - One second, one second, one second. - Larry. 582 00:26:25,536 --> 00:26:27,804 - Funkhouser: What's going on? - What? 583 00:26:27,839 --> 00:26:30,039 I gotta tell you something. You know, 584 00:26:30,074 --> 00:26:32,375 every time you take a sip... 585 00:26:32,410 --> 00:26:34,811 - Yeah? - ...You make this noise-- "ahh." 586 00:26:34,845 --> 00:26:38,146 - I'm enjoying it. - Eh. It's kinda annoying. 587 00:26:38,181 --> 00:26:40,650 - Why are you saying this to me? - What are you talking about? 588 00:26:40,684 --> 00:26:42,718 - Jeff didn't put you up to this? - Why are you saying that? 589 00:26:42,752 --> 00:26:44,552 - Of course not. - 'Cause you're not just gonna interrupt your shot 590 00:26:44,586 --> 00:26:47,188 and come over and say something to me unless Jeff put you up to it. 591 00:26:47,222 --> 00:26:49,390 - No, he didn't put em up to it. - Jeff, did you say something? 592 00:26:49,425 --> 00:26:51,660 - I said nothing. - Susie: Every little thing I do annoy-- 593 00:26:51,694 --> 00:26:53,728 - Jeff: Oh, stop it. - What about when you're eating 594 00:26:53,763 --> 00:26:55,797 - and you're shoveling your fat fucking face? - I'm hungry! 595 00:26:55,831 --> 00:26:57,165 - Do I ever say a word? - What do you want from me? 596 00:26:57,199 --> 00:26:58,732 You know what? Fuck you, don't come home tonight. 597 00:26:58,767 --> 00:27:00,134 - Don't come home? - Mom! 598 00:27:00,168 --> 00:27:01,802 - I'm sick of your bullshit! - Mom, mom. Mom, no. 599 00:27:01,837 --> 00:27:04,739 He didn't say it. It was me. I told Larry to tell you. 600 00:27:04,773 --> 00:27:06,974 You told-- well, why would he say something? 601 00:27:07,009 --> 00:27:09,209 - I don't believe you. - 'Cause I told him if he didn't tell you 602 00:27:09,244 --> 00:27:12,113 then I'd say something about Eddie and Ilene having an affair. 603 00:27:12,147 --> 00:27:14,951 - What?! Eddie and Ilene are having an affair?! - ( Murmuring ) 604 00:27:14,985 --> 00:27:18,219 - You're fucking my husband?! - Shit. 605 00:27:18,253 --> 00:27:20,889 What? Ilene, are you serious? This is fucking ridiculous! 606 00:27:20,922 --> 00:27:23,424 This is how you treat a friend?! Are you fucking kidding me?! 607 00:27:23,459 --> 00:27:26,695 L.O.L., honey! L.O.L.! Fuck you! You know what? Fuck this whole thing! 608 00:27:26,729 --> 00:27:28,764 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! - What? 609 00:27:28,798 --> 00:27:31,866 - I'm so sorry, honey! - Larry: Where you going? 610 00:27:31,901 --> 00:27:33,901 - We've got one hole left! - Ron: Fuck this game! 611 00:27:33,936 --> 00:27:37,304 - It's a lock! One hole! - Honey, wait! Come back, come back! 612 00:27:37,338 --> 00:27:39,774 Larry: Come back! Where you going?! 613 00:27:39,808 --> 00:27:41,875 One more hole! 614 00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:43,944 ( Cars honking ) 615 00:27:48,949 --> 00:27:51,918 - What's going on? - We're rerouting traffic for a protest rally-- 616 00:27:51,953 --> 00:27:55,189 some palestinian chicken place opening up next to a deli. 617 00:27:55,223 --> 00:27:57,324 Can you move forward, please? 618 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,696 ( All yelling ) 619 00:28:23,823 --> 00:28:25,657 Larry! Come! Join us over here! 620 00:28:25,691 --> 00:28:27,259 Come with us. You're a Jew. 621 00:28:27,293 --> 00:28:29,661 No, Larry. Come to this side and I'm yours. 622 00:28:29,695 --> 00:28:31,629 Larry, I'm yours whenever you want. 623 00:28:31,663 --> 00:28:34,633 - Come over here. - Larry, you belong with us. 624 00:28:34,667 --> 00:28:36,935 - Come! - What's the matter? There's no decision. 625 00:28:36,969 --> 00:28:40,138 - Get over here! - Larry, I have a sister. 626 00:28:40,173 --> 00:28:43,407 You, me and Jasmine-- the three of us. 627 00:28:43,441 --> 00:28:45,475 All right, that's enough! Just get the fuck over here! 628 00:28:45,509 --> 00:28:47,277 - Just get the fuck over here. Stop being an idiot. - Shara: Larry. 629 00:28:47,312 --> 00:28:48,545 - Larry, come over here. - Susie: Larry! 630 00:28:48,579 --> 00:28:49,913 - Don't be a dick. - Get over here! 631 00:28:49,948 --> 00:28:51,315 - Shara: Don't listen to them! - Don't be a dick. 632 00:28:51,350 --> 00:28:54,317 - Get over here! - Shara: Anything you want. 633 00:28:54,350 --> 00:28:56,886 - Larry, anything you want. - Funkhouser: Get over here. 634 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,054 ( Theme music playing )