1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:01,043 SONG: five, six, take it down! 2 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:04,004 SONG: five, six, take it down! 3 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:25,234 4 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,277 5 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:36,119 6 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:39,957 7 00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:39,998 8 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:43,919 9 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:43,961 10 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,296 11 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:49,925 HARD INDUSTRIAL DANCE MUSIC THROBS 12 00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:53,011 HARD INDUSTRIAL DANCE MUSIC THROBS 13 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:01,478 You fucked him? Wednesday. 14 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,730 You fucked him? Wednesday. 15 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:03,772 And the hot Latino? Thursday. 16 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,399 And the hot Latino? Thursday. 17 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:05,482 Well, 'ole', Teddy. You are out of control! 18 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:08,902 Well, 'ole', Teddy. You are out of control! 19 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:08,944 Good evening, twats. 20 00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:10,737 Good evening, twats. 21 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:10,779 Would you kindly refrain from using derogatory references to women, 22 00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:14,241 Would you kindly refrain from using derogatory references to women, 23 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:14,283 since they represent half my fanbase? 24 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,410 since they represent half my fanbase? 25 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:16,451 Have any hermaphrodites? 26 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,036 Have any hermaphrodites? 27 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:18,078 I don't think so. 28 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,955 I don't think so. 29 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:19,997 Good. Go fuck yourself. 30 00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:22,416 Good. Go fuck yourself. 31 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:22,457 Anybody here worth doing? 32 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,042 Anybody here worth doing? 33 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:24,084 No, sorry, Bri. Already done 'em. 34 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,794 No, sorry, Bri. Already done 'em. 35 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:25,836 Oh, we were up to Friday. 36 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,337 Oh, we were up to Friday. 37 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:27,379 Oh, there's Friday. 38 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,089 Oh, there's Friday. 39 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:29,131 Over there. The bossy bottom over there. 40 00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,008 Over there. The bossy bottom over there. 41 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:31,049 He's a bottom?! 42 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,634 He's a bottom?! 43 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:32,676 Yeah. You should hear him sing 'Natural Woman'. 44 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,887 Yeah. You should hear him sing 'Natural Woman'. 45 00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:34,928 Better than Aretha, I might add. 46 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,430 Better than Aretha, I might add. 47 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:36,471 You gotta gag 'em first, then fuck 'em! 48 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,724 You gotta gag 'em first, then fuck 'em! 49 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:39,850 You still have much to learn, dear boy. 50 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,852 You still have much to learn, dear boy. 51 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:41,894 Oh, my God, who's that? 52 00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:44,062 Oh, my God, who's that? 53 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:46,148 DANCE MUSIC RISES 54 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:49,234 DANCE MUSIC RISES 55 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:00,704 TED: I don't know, but I believe I have Sunday free... 56 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:03,081 TED: I don't know, but I believe I have Sunday free... 57 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:04,374 Count on staying home and trimming your pubes. 58 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:07,336 Count on staying home and trimming your pubes. 59 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:13,425 I'll let him have this one. 60 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,968 I'll let him have this one. 61 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:45,457 SONG: 62 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,125 SONG: 63 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:49,127 64 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,338 65 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:52,798 there, there, there, there 66 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:56,343 there, there, there, there 67 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:15,195 there, there, there, there... 68 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,907 there, there, there, there... 69 00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:38,177 BEN: Wow, Rage and J.T. are finally tying the knot! 70 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,596 BEN: Wow, Rage and J.T. are finally tying the knot! 71 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:40,637 It's about time, wouldn't you say? 72 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,472 It's about time, wouldn't you say? 73 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:42,514 Did they go to Toronto? 74 00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,016 Did they go to Toronto? 75 00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:44,057 No, Massachupiter. It's a planet. 76 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,143 No, Massachupiter. It's a planet. 77 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:46,185 Unlike Pennsylvania, it's legal for gays to get married there. 78 00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:49,396 Unlike Pennsylvania, it's legal for gays to get married there. 79 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:49,438 Aha! So where do we buy our rocket ship tickets and zoom off? 80 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:53,317 Aha! So where do we buy our rocket ship tickets and zoom off? 81 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:53,358 Huh. I wish. (Chuckles) 82 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,860 Huh. I wish. (Chuckles) 83 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:54,902 Well, until we can, 84 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,403 Well, until we can, 85 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:56,445 we'll just live vicariously through our intrepid superheroes. 86 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,780 we'll just live vicariously through our intrepid superheroes. 87 00:03:58,780 --> 00:03:58,822 Well, let's hope that 5,000 readers - 88 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,283 Well, let's hope that 5,000 readers - 89 00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:01,325 no, what the hell, make it 10 - agree with you. 90 00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:03,994 no, what the hell, make it 10 - agree with you. 91 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:04,036 I'll get these out of your way. 92 00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,913 I'll get these out of your way. 93 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:05,954 You coming to our house-warming? 94 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,789 You coming to our house-warming? 95 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:07,831 I wouldn't miss it! 96 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,416 I wouldn't miss it! 97 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:09,458 It's gonna be a bad-ass blow-out. 98 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,793 It's gonna be a bad-ass blow-out. 99 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:11,835 What do you say we start early? 100 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,378 What do you say we start early? 101 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:13,420 Mm-hm. Mmm. 102 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,215 Mm-hm. Mmm. 103 00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:16,256 (Both moan happily) 104 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,343 (Both moan happily) 105 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:19,384 (Moans warningly) 106 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,886 (Moans warningly) 107 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:20,928 Here he is! 108 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,554 Here he is! 109 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:22,596 Our wayward son. 110 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,139 Our wayward son. 111 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:25,641 Cool cover! Where you been? 112 00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,768 Cool cover! Where you been? 113 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:27,809 I thought you were gonna be home by 6:00. 114 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,645 I thought you were gonna be home by 6:00. 115 00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:29,686 I was practising with my debating partner. 116 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,605 I was practising with my debating partner. 117 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:31,647 Whenever I used to tell my parents that, I was usually getting stoned. 118 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:34,483 Whenever I used to tell my parents that, I was usually getting stoned. 119 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:34,525 When's the big event? 120 00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,568 When's the big event? 121 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:36,610 Uh, tomorrow afternoon. 122 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,111 Uh, tomorrow afternoon. 123 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:38,153 It's in front of the whole school. 124 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,738 It's in front of the whole school. 125 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:39,780 What's the topic? Capital punishment. 126 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,115 What's the topic? Capital punishment. 127 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:42,157 I'm all for it. I say fry the motherfuckers. 128 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,743 I'm all for it. I say fry the motherfuckers. 129 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:46,662 Now you see why we're so proud. (Laughs) 130 00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:49,998 Now you see why we're so proud. (Laughs) 131 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:50,040 Now, what I'm about to show you may frighten small children, 132 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,001 Now, what I'm about to show you may frighten small children, 133 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:53,043 so parents may want them to leave the room. 134 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,837 so parents may want them to leave the room. 135 00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:54,878 Scary, huh? 136 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,964 Scary, huh? 137 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:57,005 It's what I call the comb OVER... 138 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,675 It's what I call the comb OVER... 139 00:04:59,675 --> 00:04:59,716 ..like Wally's, here. 140 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,218 ..like Wally's, here. 141 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:01,260 But see how much hotter Wally looks 142 00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:04,346 But see how much hotter Wally looks 143 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:04,388 when he embraces his baldness? 144 00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:07,266 when he embraces his baldness? 145 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:07,307 Why, Wallace... 146 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,184 Why, Wallace... 147 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:09,226 ..is that a hickey?! 148 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,727 ..is that a hickey?! 149 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:10,769 Go for it, tiger! Grr! 150 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,312 Go for it, tiger! Grr! 151 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:12,354 Alright, those are my hairdos and don'ts. 152 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:15,899 Alright, those are my hairdos and don'ts. 153 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:15,941 Next week, I'm waxing - 154 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,734 Next week, I'm waxing - 155 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:17,776 and I'm not talking about the kitchen floor! 156 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,403 and I'm not talking about the kitchen floor! 157 00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:19,444 OK, everybody. 158 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:20,946 OK, everybody. 159 00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:20,988 Be fabulous! 160 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:23,615 Be fabulous! 161 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:23,657 Thanks, Queer Guy. That's it for tonight. 162 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,159 Thanks, Queer Guy. That's it for tonight. 163 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:26,201 Hopefully, we'll be 'hair' tomorrow. 164 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:29,037 Hopefully, we'll be 'hair' tomorrow. 165 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:29,079 May all your news be good news. OUTRO MUSIC PLAYS 166 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:32,291 May all your news be good news. OUTRO MUSIC PLAYS 167 00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:32,332 MAN: We're out. 168 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,543 MAN: We're out. 169 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:34,585 Thank you so much. 170 00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:36,503 Thank you so much. 171 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:36,545 That was fabulous! Yeah! 172 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,463 That was fabulous! Yeah! 173 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:38,505 See, you've even got me doing it. Sorry, Don. 174 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,799 See, you've even got me doing it. Sorry, Don. 175 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:40,841 Sorry? Since you've been on the air, the ratings have gone up two points! 176 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,719 Sorry? Since you've been on the air, the ratings have gone up two points! 177 00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:43,760 Now everybody wants the queer perspective. 178 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,138 Now everybody wants the queer perspective. 179 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:46,180 Channel 9 has even hired a trannie weather...uh, person. 180 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,974 Channel 9 has even hired a trannie weather...uh, person. 181 00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:49,016 Well, let's just hope he...she... 182 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,976 Well, let's just hope he...she... 183 00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:51,018 can decide if it's gonna be rainy or fair! 184 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,853 can decide if it's gonna be rainy or fair! 185 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:52,895 Either way, your fans are gonna be lined up around the block 186 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:55,314 Either way, your fans are gonna be lined up around the block 187 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:55,355 to see you tomorrow at Hoffman's! 188 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,274 to see you tomorrow at Hoffman's! 189 00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:57,316 So many in need, so little time. 190 00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:59,234 So many in need, so little time. 191 00:05:59,234 --> 00:05:59,276 And wait till you read your... 192 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,111 And wait till you read your... 193 00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:01,153 ..fan mail. 194 00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:02,654 ..fan mail. 195 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:02,696 Fan mail? For me? 196 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,198 Fan mail? For me? 197 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:04,239 Even people who hate fags love you. 198 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,825 Even people who hate fags love you. 199 00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:11,788 CARL: Here you go, hon. 200 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,332 CARL: Here you go, hon. 201 00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:13,373 (Groans) Oh, thank you, Carl, but... 202 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:17,002 (Groans) Oh, thank you, Carl, but... 203 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:17,044 ..honestly, I don't think I could keep it down. 204 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,338 ..honestly, I don't think I could keep it down. 205 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:19,379 (Sighs) 206 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,923 (Sighs) 207 00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:20,964 Are you still hurtin'? Mm-hm. 208 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,509 Are you still hurtin'? Mm-hm. 209 00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:23,550 Poor baby. 210 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,053 Poor baby. 211 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:26,094 Did you take what Dr McGrath prescribed? 212 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,055 Did you take what Dr McGrath prescribed? 213 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:28,096 That quack?! 214 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,681 That quack?! 215 00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:29,723 He had me splitting corn to be served with orange sauce. 216 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,476 He had me splitting corn to be served with orange sauce. 217 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:36,980 I mean, there are all these new diseases. 218 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,649 I mean, there are all these new diseases. 219 00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:38,690 You know, damn doctors can't keep up with it. 220 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,817 You know, damn doctors can't keep up with it. 221 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:42,027 Mmm. 222 00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,612 Mmm. 223 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:43,654 What if it's mad cow, or that bird flu? 224 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:46,448 What if it's mad cow, or that bird flu? 225 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:46,490 Come to think of it, a pigeon shit on my shoulder the other day - 226 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:49,368 Come to think of it, a pigeon shit on my shoulder the other day - 227 00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:49,409 I gotta remember to tell that to the new doctor. 228 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,411 I gotta remember to tell that to the new doctor. 229 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:51,453 New doctor? 230 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,955 New doctor? 231 00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:52,996 I'm getting a second opinion. 232 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,915 I'm getting a second opinion. 233 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:54,957 Actually, it's more like a fourth. 234 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:57,376 Actually, it's more like a fourth. 235 00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:57,417 OK, that's it. 236 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,044 OK, that's it. 237 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:02,464 Who you calling? The station. 238 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,800 Who you calling? The station. 239 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:04,842 I'm gonna take you. Carl, please, no! 240 00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,885 I'm gonna take you. Carl, please, no! 241 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:06,927 It'll just make it worse, alright? 242 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,929 It'll just make it worse, alright? 243 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:08,971 Thinking that I'm keeping you from work. 244 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,098 Thinking that I'm keeping you from work. 245 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:11,139 (Sighs) 246 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,599 (Sighs) 247 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:17,980 You go solve a murder or two. 248 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,357 You go solve a murder or two. 249 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:20,399 (Tuts) I wish I could solve this... 250 00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:22,317 (Tuts) I wish I could solve this... 251 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:22,359 (Gasps) Gently! Gently. 252 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,069 (Gasps) Gently! Gently. 253 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:26,947 OK, promise you'll call me as soon as you hear what the doctor says. 254 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:31,118 OK, promise you'll call me as soon as you hear what the doctor says. 255 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:31,159 I promise. 256 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:32,619 I promise. 257 00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:36,623 Oh! (Groans) 258 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,667 Oh! (Groans) 259 00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:39,751 It's OK, honey. 260 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,295 It's OK, honey. 261 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:44,840 (Blows a kiss) 262 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,425 (Blows a kiss) 263 00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:46,466 I'll be at Hoffman's department store today from 1:00 to 3:00 264 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:51,388 I'll be at Hoffman's department store today from 1:00 to 3:00 265 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:51,430 signing autographs, giving tips on how to be fabulous. 266 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:54,850 signing autographs, giving tips on how to be fabulous. 267 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:55,934 Be sure and stop by! 268 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,519 Be sure and stop by! 269 00:07:59,688 --> 00:07:59,730 Oh, Teddy, I feel as if I finally found my calling, 270 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:02,566 Oh, Teddy, I feel as if I finally found my calling, 271 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:02,608 that God has appointed me from above to do his work below. 272 00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:06,570 that God has appointed me from above to do his work below. 273 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:06,612 Saint Emmett! 274 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:08,155 Saint Emmett! 275 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:08,197 Patron saint of the fashion-impoverished, 276 00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,741 Patron saint of the fashion-impoverished, 277 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:10,782 the style-deprived.... 278 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,326 the style-deprived.... 279 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:12,367 You laugh, but there is something almost holy 280 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:15,287 You laugh, but there is something almost holy 281 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:15,329 about saving the thousands of walking disasters in this town. 282 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,332 about saving the thousands of walking disasters in this town. 283 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:18,373 (Chuckles) 284 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,875 (Chuckles) 285 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:19,917 Of which he is definitely not one. 286 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,461 Of which he is definitely not one. 287 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:28,133 Can you believe that guy? 288 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,718 Can you believe that guy? 289 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:29,760 Walked right by, didn't even recognise me. 290 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,261 Walked right by, didn't even recognise me. 291 00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:32,804 But I recognise him. 292 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,348 But I recognise him. 293 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:34,389 Is he someone? 294 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,016 Is he someone? 295 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:36,058 Oh, he's someone alright. 296 00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:38,310 Oh, he's someone alright. 297 00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:42,814 Pride, 2002. 298 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,858 Pride, 2002. 299 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:44,900 We had amazing sex... 300 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,527 We had amazing sex... 301 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:46,568 ..at least, I thought so. 302 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,028 ..at least, I thought so. 303 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:48,070 Then, the next day, 304 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:49,780 Then, the next day, 305 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:49,821 I met him at Woody's. 306 00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,573 I met him at Woody's. 307 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:51,615 He told me once a year he finds some loser guy... 308 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:54,368 He told me once a year he finds some loser guy... 309 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:54,409 Like you. And I give him a break. 310 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:57,120 Like you. And I give him a break. 311 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:57,162 I give him...I give him me, 312 00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,957 I give him...I give him me, 313 00:08:59,957 --> 00:08:59,998 the fuck of his life. 314 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,125 the fuck of his life. 315 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:02,167 You know, something he can remember, 316 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,127 You know, something he can remember, 317 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:04,169 much like a souvenir. 318 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,296 much like a souvenir. 319 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:06,338 It's my way of giving back to the community. 320 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:09,633 It's my way of giving back to the community. 321 00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:09,675 Teddy, that was aeons ago! 322 00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:12,261 Teddy, that was aeons ago! 323 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:12,302 Look at you now - 324 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,846 Look at you now - 325 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:13,887 thin, gorgeous, guys falling all over you. 326 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,889 thin, gorgeous, guys falling all over you. 327 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:15,931 It was the single most humiliating experience of my life. 328 00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:18,141 It was the single most humiliating experience of my life. 329 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:18,183 Everybody called me... 330 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,685 Everybody called me... 331 00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:21,520 ..Aunt Pityfuck. 332 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,021 ..Aunt Pityfuck. 333 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:24,231 Well, as painful as it may have been, 334 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,191 Well, as painful as it may have been, 335 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:26,233 you just have to let it go. 336 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,402 you just have to let it go. 337 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:37,160 Or get even. 338 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,662 Or get even. 339 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:42,833 I'm not gonna make him nervous! 340 00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,459 I'm not gonna make him nervous! 341 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:44,501 I'll sit in the back, he won't even know I'm there. 342 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,670 I'll sit in the back, he won't even know I'm there. 343 00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:48,338 I just wanna see him in action. 344 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,923 I just wanna see him in action. 345 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:49,965 We'll stop by the store afterwards. I'll take you both to dinner. 346 00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:53,760 We'll stop by the store afterwards. I'll take you both to dinner. 347 00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:57,598 Love. 348 00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,308 Love. 349 00:09:59,308 --> 00:09:59,349 (Mutters) Oh, God. 350 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,351 (Mutters) Oh, God. 351 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:02,436 Callie? 352 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,021 Callie? 353 00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:04,062 It's Ben. 354 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,064 It's Ben. 355 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:06,106 Mr Bruckner! I know - Hunter's dad. 356 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,317 Mr Bruckner! I know - Hunter's dad. 357 00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:08,358 I came to watch him debate. 358 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,444 I came to watch him debate. 359 00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:10,485 Which way is the auditorium? Uh... 360 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,070 Which way is the auditorium? Uh... 361 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:12,112 As you go in, it's on the right. 362 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,531 As you go in, it's on the right. 363 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:14,573 Ah. 364 00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:16,200 Ah. 365 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:16,241 (Laughs) 366 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,035 (Laughs) 367 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:18,076 But I don't think there's a debate. 368 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,329 But I don't think there's a debate. 369 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:21,830 They've got a chorus practice. 370 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,916 They've got a chorus practice. 371 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:25,000 (Laughs) Are you sure? 372 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,502 (Laughs) Are you sure? 373 00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:30,964 Is Hunter OK? 374 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,425 Is Hunter OK? 375 00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:33,467 He hasn't been in school all week. 376 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,761 He hasn't been in school all week. 377 00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:35,802 Oh, he's fine. I guess I must have misunderstood him. 378 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:40,516 Oh, he's fine. I guess I must have misunderstood him. 379 00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:49,107 This pink striped shirt will look fab under this jacket, 380 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:52,444 This pink striped shirt will look fab under this jacket, 381 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:52,486 and...oh, oh, oh! 382 00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,571 and...oh, oh, oh! 383 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:54,613 And see how this tie really makes it pop? 384 00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:59,159 And see how this tie really makes it pop? 385 00:10:59,159 --> 00:10:59,201 Frankly, I don't care what clothes Irwin wears. 386 00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:01,119 Frankly, I don't care what clothes Irwin wears. 387 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:01,161 He took your advice from the other night and shaved his head, 388 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,580 He took your advice from the other night and shaved his head, 389 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:03,622 you know, he embraced his baldness. 390 00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:05,707 you know, he embraced his baldness. 391 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:05,749 Now I barely let him out of the bedroom! 392 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:08,126 Now I barely let him out of the bedroom! 393 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:08,168 I can't tell you how much it warms my heart 394 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,171 I can't tell you how much it warms my heart 395 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:11,213 to know I'm keeping heteros horny! 396 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:12,798 to know I'm keeping heteros horny! 397 00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:12,840 (All laugh) OK. 398 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,341 (All laugh) OK. 399 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:14,383 Alright, be back in five! It's tinkle time! 400 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,552 Alright, be back in five! It's tinkle time! 401 00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:16,593 (All chuckle) WOMAN: 'Bye! 402 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,095 (All chuckle) WOMAN: 'Bye! 403 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:18,136 You are a superstar! Oh, shh. 404 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:20,597 You are a superstar! Oh, shh. 405 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:20,639 Look at this crowd! 406 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:22,266 Look at this crowd! 407 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:22,307 Yeah, second only to when the Stones played Three Rivers Stadium. 408 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,601 Yeah, second only to when the Stones played Three Rivers Stadium. 409 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:28,772 Brian! 410 00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,357 Brian! 411 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:30,399 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 412 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:33,235 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 413 00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:33,277 Well...needed socks. 414 00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:35,529 Well...needed socks. 415 00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:35,571 Don't pay any attention to him. He's as proud of you as we are. 416 00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:38,490 Don't pay any attention to him. He's as proud of you as we are. 417 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:38,532 Aren't you? (Laughs) 418 00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,200 Aren't you? (Laughs) 419 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:40,242 Yeah, it's an honour to count among our close personal friends 420 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:43,120 Yeah, it's an honour to count among our close personal friends 421 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:43,161 television's latest gay eunuch. 422 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,539 television's latest gay eunuch. 423 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:45,581 Excuse me? 424 00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:47,541 Excuse me? 425 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:47,583 You know, as in non-sexual, non-threatening... 426 00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:53,422 You know, as in non-sexual, non-threatening... 427 00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:53,463 Ball-less. 428 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,257 Ball-less. 429 00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:55,299 You do homage to a long and illustrious line 430 00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:58,927 You do homage to a long and illustrious line 431 00:11:58,927 --> 00:11:58,969 of lovable, laughable clowns who've come before you. 432 00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:02,681 of lovable, laughable clowns who've come before you. 433 00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:02,723 Why, just look at all these people! 434 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,808 Why, just look at all these people! 435 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:06,602 They're my fans. 436 00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:08,228 They're my fans. 437 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:08,270 They adore me. 438 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,813 They adore me. 439 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:09,855 Because you're so cute! 440 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,648 Because you're so cute! 441 00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:13,233 But do you think they'd still adore you 442 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,319 But do you think they'd still adore you 443 00:12:15,319 --> 00:12:15,360 if they knew you took it up the ass and liked it? 444 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,822 if they knew you took it up the ass and liked it? 445 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:18,864 Like I said, Brian - 446 00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:21,533 Like I said, Brian - 447 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:21,575 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 448 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:24,369 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 449 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:26,538 Any time. 450 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,707 Any time. 451 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:30,042 I just love you. You're so cute! 452 00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,628 I just love you. You're so cute! 453 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:32,669 Thank you. Thank you. Ma'am, step back, please. 454 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,588 Thank you. Thank you. Ma'am, step back, please. 455 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:40,219 He's been lying to us? 456 00:12:40,219 --> 00:12:42,221 He's been lying to us? 457 00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:42,262 I'm sure there's a reason. 458 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,932 I'm sure there's a reason. 459 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:44,973 I didn't say a good reason. 460 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,517 I didn't say a good reason. 461 00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:46,558 But I thought he trusted us, that, you know, 462 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:49,019 But I thought he trusted us, that, you know, 463 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:49,061 he told us everything! 464 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:50,604 he told us everything! 465 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:50,646 Did you tell your mother everything when you were 17? 466 00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:52,689 Did you tell your mother everything when you were 17? 467 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:52,731 I didn't have to. There were hidden monitors in every room. 468 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:55,234 I didn't have to. There were hidden monitors in every room. 469 00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:55,275 She had a homing device implanted in my brain soon after birth - 470 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:59,071 She had a homing device implanted in my brain soon after birth - 471 00:12:59,071 --> 00:12:59,112 it's the only explanation how she automatically knew. 472 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,281 it's the only explanation how she automatically knew. 473 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:01,323 Here...here he comes. 474 00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:02,866 Here...here he comes. 475 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:02,908 Now, let's try not to let our emotions run amok. 476 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:05,244 Now, let's try not to let our emotions run amok. 477 00:13:05,244 --> 00:13:05,285 That's easy for you to say - 478 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,828 That's easy for you to say - 479 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:06,870 you come from a long line of repressed alcoholics. 480 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,872 you come from a long line of repressed alcoholics. 481 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:08,914 (Scoffs) 482 00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:10,457 (Scoffs) 483 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:10,499 Sorry I'm late. I was in debate club. 484 00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:12,876 Sorry I'm late. I was in debate club. 485 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:12,918 This week's topic is... 'Secrets and lies'? 486 00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:16,296 This week's topic is... 'Secrets and lies'? 487 00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:17,965 We know you haven't been in school all week. 488 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,800 We know you haven't been in school all week. 489 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:24,763 DOOR OPENS, CLOSES 490 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,266 DOOR OPENS, CLOSES 491 00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:27,307 Better. 492 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,767 Better. 493 00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:31,228 Would you just leave me the fuck alone? 494 00:13:31,228 --> 00:13:32,896 Would you just leave me the fuck alone? 495 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:32,938 I told you, I don't want to talk about it. 496 00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:34,982 I told you, I don't want to talk about it. 497 00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:35,023 We have to talk about it. We wanna help you. 498 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,985 We have to talk about it. We wanna help you. 499 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:38,026 You can't help me. Nobody can help me. It's too late. 500 00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,737 You can't help me. Nobody can help me. It's too late. 501 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:40,779 It's never too late. 502 00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,281 It's never too late. 503 00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:42,322 I know it's been a tough few weeks... 504 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,074 I know it's been a tough few weeks... 505 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:44,116 Try years. 506 00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:46,201 Try years. 507 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:46,243 OK. OK, but there's gotta be a solution. 508 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,370 OK. OK, but there's gotta be a solution. 509 00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:48,412 I can't go back to that school. 510 00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:50,789 I can't go back to that school. 511 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:50,831 Everybody just stares at me like I'm a piece of shit, 512 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,250 Everybody just stares at me like I'm a piece of shit, 513 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:53,292 and when they do, that's how I feel. 514 00:13:53,292 --> 00:13:54,918 and when they do, that's how I feel. 515 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:54,960 You're not a piece of shit! 516 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,503 You're not a piece of shit! 517 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:56,545 You're a brave, smart, funny, wonderful person. 518 00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:59,298 You're a brave, smart, funny, wonderful person. 519 00:13:59,298 --> 00:13:59,339 And you're our son! And we love you! 520 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,091 And you're our son! And we love you! 521 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:01,133 And you don't have to lie to us. We know what you're going through. 522 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,927 And you don't have to lie to us. We know what you're going through. 523 00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:05,012 You have no idea. 524 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,513 You have no idea. 525 00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:08,182 FOOTSTEPS RECEDE, DOOR SLAMS 526 00:14:08,182 --> 00:14:11,810 FOOTSTEPS RECEDE, DOOR SLAMS 527 00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:11,852 How about a barbecue grill? 528 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,312 How about a barbecue grill? 529 00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:17,357 Or maybe fireplace tools. 530 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,234 Or maybe fireplace tools. 531 00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:19,276 What do you think? 532 00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:20,819 What do you think? 533 00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:20,861 I think if you don't stop talking about 534 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,446 I think if you don't stop talking about 535 00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:22,487 their goddamn house-warming gift, 536 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,031 their goddamn house-warming gift, 537 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:24,072 I'm gonna burn their fucking place down. 538 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,490 I'm gonna burn their fucking place down. 539 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:27,784 Another round. What's your problem? 540 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,953 Another round. What's your problem? 541 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:29,995 I have no problem. 542 00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:32,039 I have no problem. 543 00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:32,080 I am problem-less. 544 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,333 I am problem-less. 545 00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:34,374 A problem-free zone. 546 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,543 A problem-free zone. 547 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:36,585 Then help me pick something out. 548 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,086 Then help me pick something out. 549 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:38,128 (Sighs) 550 00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:40,214 (Sighs) 551 00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:44,760 (Laughs humourlessly) A hands-free toilet. 552 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,387 (Laughs humourlessly) A hands-free toilet. 553 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:47,429 "It senses you are there and automatically flushes." 554 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:50,349 "It senses you are there and automatically flushes." 555 00:14:50,349 --> 00:14:50,390 Yeah! 556 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,309 Yeah! 557 00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:52,351 300 bucks down the crapper. 558 00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:54,811 300 bucks down the crapper. 559 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:54,853 Are you gonna tell me what's wrong? 560 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,355 Are you gonna tell me what's wrong? 561 00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:56,396 No. 562 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,398 No. 563 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:58,440 Fine. 564 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,900 Fine. 565 00:15:10,244 --> 00:15:10,285 (Tuts) Anyway. 566 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:12,120 (Tuts) Anyway. 567 00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:13,539 You wouldn't understand. 568 00:15:13,539 --> 00:15:15,040 You wouldn't understand. 569 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:16,124 I'll show you my SAT scores. 570 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,751 I'll show you my SAT scores. 571 00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:20,003 You're too young. 572 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,547 You're too young. 573 00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:21,588 Compared to who? 574 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,423 Compared to who? 575 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:23,465 'Whom'. You? 576 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,008 'Whom'. You? 577 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:28,929 That hot guy I followed into the back room the other night? 578 00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:32,182 That hot guy I followed into the back room the other night? 579 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:32,224 What about him? 580 00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:34,601 What about him? 581 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:34,643 When I went for his cock... 582 00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:36,937 When I went for his cock... 583 00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:39,731 (Laughs) Never mind. 584 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,942 (Laughs) Never mind. 585 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:41,984 Would you just say it? 586 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,443 Would you just say it? 587 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:46,238 My hand... 588 00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:47,823 My hand... 589 00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:47,865 Your hand... 590 00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:49,283 Your hand... 591 00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:50,951 What? 592 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:51,910 What? 593 00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:56,248 (Scoffs) 594 00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:57,749 (Scoffs) 595 00:15:59,042 --> 00:15:59,084 If it's any comfort, you're still the hottest guy in Pittsburgh. 596 00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:02,129 If it's any comfort, you're still the hottest guy in Pittsburgh. 597 00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:04,256 Now help me out here. We can't show up without a gift. 598 00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:06,884 Now help me out here. We can't show up without a gift. 599 00:16:06,884 --> 00:16:06,925 I'm not going to their fucking party. 600 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:09,052 I'm not going to their fucking party. 601 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:09,094 Why not? 602 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,095 Why not? 603 00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:10,137 Because I'm going to a FUCKING party. 604 00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,055 Because I'm going to a FUCKING party. 605 00:16:15,309 --> 00:16:15,350 GROANING AND YELLING 606 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:18,937 GROANING AND YELLING 607 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:18,979 Stop it! It hurts! 608 00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:21,607 Stop it! It hurts! 609 00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:21,648 Come on, Carl, take it like a man. 610 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,985 Come on, Carl, take it like a man. 611 00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:25,027 (Groans and grunts) Jesus, you're killing me! 612 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,529 (Groans and grunts) Jesus, you're killing me! 613 00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:27,571 What the hell's going on? 614 00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,114 What the hell's going on? 615 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:29,156 Arggh! (Sighs in relief) 616 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:31,408 Arggh! (Sighs in relief) 617 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:31,450 Carl's letting me practise waxing his back for an upcoming segment. 618 00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:34,203 Carl's letting me practise waxing his back for an upcoming segment. 619 00:16:34,203 --> 00:16:34,244 Christ. 620 00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:35,871 Christ. 621 00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:35,913 I thought you were practising something else. 622 00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:38,207 I thought you were practising something else. 623 00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:38,248 OK, that's it. I...I've had it. 624 00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:40,792 OK, that's it. I...I've had it. 625 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:40,834 You're only half-waxed. 626 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,461 You're only half-waxed. 627 00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:42,503 Yeah, and if you go down any further, I'll be half-assed. 628 00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:45,047 Yeah, and if you go down any further, I'll be half-assed. 629 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:47,883 How about you, Deb? You want me to give you a landing strip? 630 00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:50,594 How about you, Deb? You want me to give you a landing strip? 631 00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:50,636 Thanks, but I prefer to keep the entire airport. 632 00:16:50,636 --> 00:16:54,598 Thanks, but I prefer to keep the entire airport. 633 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:54,640 You got a temperature? 634 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,350 You got a temperature? 635 00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:56,391 No. Damn it! 636 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,393 No. Damn it! 637 00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:01,355 What did the new doctor say? 638 00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:02,981 What did the new doctor say? 639 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:03,023 He said I'm dying... of perfect health. 640 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,776 He said I'm dying... of perfect health. 641 00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:05,817 Wise-ass. 642 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,236 Wise-ass. 643 00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:08,320 Maybe this will bring down my fever. 644 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,280 Maybe this will bring down my fever. 645 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:10,322 You just said you don't have a fever. 646 00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,991 You just said you don't have a fever. 647 00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:13,033 That's what the thermometer said. I know I'm burning up. 648 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,994 That's what the thermometer said. I know I'm burning up. 649 00:17:25,671 --> 00:17:25,712 Deb, do you...think I'm physically attractive? 650 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:29,049 Deb, do you...think I'm physically attractive? 651 00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:29,091 You know...sexy? 652 00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:31,218 You know...sexy? 653 00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:31,260 Well... 654 00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:33,637 Well... 655 00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:33,679 Keeping in mind that I'm a heterosexual woman of a certain age, 656 00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:37,224 Keeping in mind that I'm a heterosexual woman of a certain age, 657 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:37,266 and you're queer as they come... 658 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:39,601 and you're queer as they come... 659 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:39,643 ..fuck, yeah. 660 00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:41,103 ..fuck, yeah. 661 00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:41,144 Good. 662 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,688 Good. 663 00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:42,729 Because Brian said the only reason people like the Queer Guy 664 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:46,149 Because Brian said the only reason people like the Queer Guy 665 00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:46,191 is because I'm non-threatening, sexless, a...eunuch. 666 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:49,611 is because I'm non-threatening, sexless, a...eunuch. 667 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:49,653 What the fuck's he know? 668 00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:51,154 What the fuck's he know? 669 00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:51,196 Actually, a lot. 670 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:53,198 Actually, a lot. 671 00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:53,240 Yeah? Well, he's wrong. 672 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,783 Yeah? Well, he's wrong. 673 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:54,825 Hell, you have more sex than anyone I know. 674 00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:57,744 Hell, you have more sex than anyone I know. 675 00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:57,786 Except me, of course... 676 00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,788 Except me, of course... 677 00:17:59,788 --> 00:17:59,830 ..since Carl moved in. 678 00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:01,498 ..since Carl moved in. 679 00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:03,333 Let's face it, honey, 680 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,169 Let's face it, honey, 681 00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:05,210 most viewers don't want to think about gays having sex. 682 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,921 most viewers don't want to think about gays having sex. 683 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:07,963 I mean, the thought of two guys kissing - 684 00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,923 I mean, the thought of two guys kissing - 685 00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:09,965 much less, um...you know, taking it up the ass - 686 00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:14,261 much less, um...you know, taking it up the ass - 687 00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:14,303 it just makes them uncomfortable. 688 00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:16,430 it just makes them uncomfortable. 689 00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:16,471 Brian said that too. 690 00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:18,807 Brian said that too. 691 00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:20,976 Well, you know something? 692 00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:23,478 Well, you know something? 693 00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:23,520 It's time they got over it. 694 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,272 It's time they got over it. 695 00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:43,373 Mind spotting me? 696 00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:45,042 Mind spotting me? 697 00:18:45,042 --> 00:18:45,083 Sure. 698 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,627 Sure. 699 00:19:00,349 --> 00:19:00,390 Don't I know you? 700 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,892 Don't I know you? 701 00:19:02,935 --> 00:19:02,976 I don't think so. 702 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,478 I don't think so. 703 00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:06,313 I'm Troy. 704 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,814 I'm Troy. 705 00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:08,899 Teddy. 706 00:19:08,899 --> 00:19:10,442 Teddy. 707 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:13,737 Hey, I know where I know you from. 708 00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:16,865 Hey, I know where I know you from. 709 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:16,907 You do? 710 00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:18,408 You do? 711 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:18,450 South Beach, right? 712 00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:19,952 South Beach, right? 713 00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:19,993 We hooked up. 714 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,453 We hooked up. 715 00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:22,538 Nope. Never been there. 716 00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:25,249 Nope. Never been there. 717 00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:25,290 Oh. 718 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,792 Oh. 719 00:19:26,792 --> 00:19:26,834 Well, would you like to? 720 00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,293 Well, would you like to? 721 00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:29,753 Go to South Beach? 722 00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,338 Go to South Beach? 723 00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:31,380 Hook up. 724 00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:32,840 Hook up. 725 00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:43,475 Sure. 726 00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:45,561 Sure. 727 00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:45,602 And in our research we've found 728 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,145 And in our research we've found 729 00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:47,187 that once a woman reaches the age of 35, 730 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,273 that once a woman reaches the age of 35, 731 00:19:49,273 --> 00:19:49,314 she's all but invisible to most men. 732 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:52,025 she's all but invisible to most men. 733 00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:52,067 And you want to make them visible again. 734 00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:54,403 And you want to make them visible again. 735 00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:55,904 Or at least make them think that they can be. 736 00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:58,949 Or at least make them think that they can be. 737 00:19:58,949 --> 00:19:58,991 Our new anti-ageing cream offers hope, 738 00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:00,951 Our new anti-ageing cream offers hope, 739 00:20:00,951 --> 00:20:00,993 more confidence and a few less wrinkles. 740 00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:02,995 more confidence and a few less wrinkles. 741 00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:03,036 All we need is a brilliant campaign and a perfect product name. 742 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:06,164 All we need is a brilliant campaign and a perfect product name. 743 00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:07,875 Um... Sure I can come up with something. 744 00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:11,003 Um... Sure I can come up with something. 745 00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:13,172 You men are so damn lucky you never have to worry about such things. 746 00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:17,009 You men are so damn lucky you never have to worry about such things. 747 00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:21,597 Don't be so sure. 748 00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:23,265 Don't be so sure. 749 00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:29,021 Visible. 750 00:20:29,021 --> 00:20:30,522 Visible. 751 00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:31,607 What? 752 00:20:31,607 --> 00:20:32,858 What? 753 00:20:32,858 --> 00:20:32,900 That's the name of your new product. 754 00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:35,277 That's the name of your new product. 755 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:35,319 Visible? Mmm. 756 00:20:35,319 --> 00:20:37,821 Visible? Mmm. 757 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:37,863 I like that. 758 00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:39,364 I like that. 759 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:39,406 Visible. 760 00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,866 Visible. 761 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:43,285 Hey, you came up with it. 762 00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:45,078 Hey, you came up with it. 763 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:45,120 You just didn't know it. 764 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,622 You just didn't know it. 765 00:20:46,622 --> 00:20:46,663 Would you excuse me for a minute? Mm-hm. 766 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:48,540 Would you excuse me for a minute? Mm-hm. 767 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:48,582 FUNKY MUSIC 768 00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:51,627 FUNKY MUSIC 769 00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:54,982 (Clears throat) 770 00:21:54,982 --> 00:21:56,483 (Clears throat) 771 00:21:58,443 --> 00:21:58,485 Aren't you glad your asshole parents worked through their shit? 772 00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:01,989 Aren't you glad your asshole parents worked through their shit? 773 00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:02,030 (Coos) Yes. 774 00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,490 (Coos) Yes. 775 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:03,532 'Cause now Grandma can hold you 776 00:22:03,532 --> 00:22:05,701 'Cause now Grandma can hold you 777 00:22:05,701 --> 00:22:05,742 without one of them thinking I'm a goddamn traitor. 778 00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:08,370 without one of them thinking I'm a goddamn traitor. 779 00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:08,412 (Cries) That's right. Ohh. 780 00:22:08,412 --> 00:22:10,789 (Cries) That's right. Ohh. 781 00:22:10,789 --> 00:22:10,831 Boy, you sure know how to sweet-talk a baby, Deb. 782 00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:13,917 Boy, you sure know how to sweet-talk a baby, Deb. 783 00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:13,959 I'm just glad it all worked out. 784 00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:15,586 I'm just glad it all worked out. 785 00:22:15,586 --> 00:22:15,627 Yeah. We'll see. 786 00:22:15,627 --> 00:22:18,088 Yeah. We'll see. 787 00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:18,130 Hey, Kiki, where the fuck's my check? 788 00:22:18,130 --> 00:22:19,965 Hey, Kiki, where the fuck's my check? 789 00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:20,007 I already grew tits. You want me to grow another hand? 790 00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:23,468 I already grew tits. You want me to grow another hand? 791 00:22:24,887 --> 00:22:24,970 Boy, things aren't quite the same around here since you left. 792 00:22:24,970 --> 00:22:28,307 Boy, things aren't quite the same around here since you left. 793 00:22:28,307 --> 00:22:28,348 Boy, so I notice. 794 00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:29,808 Boy, so I notice. 795 00:22:30,893 --> 00:22:30,934 MAN: Excuse me. Miss. MAN 2: This is cold. 796 00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:33,812 MAN: Excuse me. Miss. MAN 2: This is cold. 797 00:22:33,812 --> 00:22:33,854 I don't know. 798 00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:35,397 I don't know. 799 00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:35,439 The way I've been feeling lately, I barely have the energy to crawl here. 800 00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:39,234 The way I've been feeling lately, I barely have the energy to crawl here. 801 00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:39,276 Have you been to see a... 802 00:22:39,276 --> 00:22:40,819 Have you been to see a... 803 00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:40,861 Five of them. All claim to have degrees. 804 00:22:40,861 --> 00:22:42,613 Five of them. All claim to have degrees. 805 00:22:42,613 --> 00:22:42,654 Not one of them says they can tell me what's wrong. 806 00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:44,865 Not one of them says they can tell me what's wrong. 807 00:22:44,865 --> 00:22:44,907 Hey, can we get a menu? 808 00:22:44,907 --> 00:22:46,408 Hey, can we get a menu? 809 00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:46,450 I asked for cream. 810 00:22:46,450 --> 00:22:48,160 I asked for cream. 811 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:48,202 Where's my fucking lunch? 812 00:22:48,202 --> 00:22:49,828 Where's my fucking lunch? 813 00:22:49,828 --> 00:22:49,870 Your food is up. 814 00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:51,371 Your food is up. 815 00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:51,413 Ohh. 816 00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:53,165 Ohh. 817 00:22:53,165 --> 00:22:53,207 I'm a trannie on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 818 00:22:53,207 --> 00:22:56,001 I'm a trannie on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 819 00:22:57,169 --> 00:22:57,211 Sit down. Calm your nerves. 820 00:22:57,211 --> 00:22:59,213 Sit down. Calm your nerves. 821 00:22:59,213 --> 00:22:59,254 FUNKY MUSIC 822 00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:02,299 FUNKY MUSIC 823 00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:03,592 That's the fish and chips with slaw, the turkey burger with fries. 824 00:23:03,592 --> 00:23:06,720 That's the fish and chips with slaw, the turkey burger with fries. 825 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:06,762 Here are your menus. Specials are on the board. 826 00:23:06,762 --> 00:23:08,889 Here are your menus. Specials are on the board. 827 00:23:10,224 --> 00:23:10,265 Two percent. It's better for you than cream. 828 00:23:10,265 --> 00:23:12,684 Two percent. It's better for you than cream. 829 00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:20,484 Deb, I think I know what's wrong with you. 830 00:23:20,484 --> 00:23:22,945 Deb, I think I know what's wrong with you. 831 00:23:22,945 --> 00:23:22,986 Yeah? 832 00:23:22,986 --> 00:23:24,571 Yeah? 833 00:23:24,571 --> 00:23:24,613 BFM. 834 00:23:24,613 --> 00:23:27,699 BFM. 835 00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:27,741 BFM? 836 00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:29,201 BFM? 837 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:31,620 It sounds serious. 838 00:23:31,620 --> 00:23:33,121 It sounds serious. 839 00:23:34,164 --> 00:23:34,206 What is it? 840 00:23:34,206 --> 00:23:35,791 What is it? 841 00:23:35,791 --> 00:23:35,832 Bored out of your fucking mind. 842 00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:38,794 Bored out of your fucking mind. 843 00:23:42,631 --> 00:23:42,673 Mmm. 844 00:23:42,673 --> 00:23:44,174 Mmm. 845 00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:45,634 Listen up, straight boys. 846 00:23:45,634 --> 00:23:47,511 Listen up, straight boys. 847 00:23:47,511 --> 00:23:47,553 Take a tip from the Queer Guy. 848 00:23:47,553 --> 00:23:49,304 Take a tip from the Queer Guy. 849 00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:49,346 Wearing these will not get you where you wanna go. 850 00:23:49,346 --> 00:23:52,975 Wearing these will not get you where you wanna go. 851 00:23:52,975 --> 00:23:53,016 Comprenez-vous? 852 00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:54,476 Comprenez-vous? 853 00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:54,518 These, however, 854 00:23:54,518 --> 00:23:56,770 These, however, 855 00:23:56,770 --> 00:23:56,812 will definitely generate a little friction. 856 00:23:56,812 --> 00:23:59,106 will definitely generate a little friction. 857 00:23:59,106 --> 00:23:59,147 I know because they happen to be my very own pair. 858 00:23:59,147 --> 00:24:02,484 I know because they happen to be my very own pair. 859 00:24:02,484 --> 00:24:02,526 They set off your nice tight... assets. 860 00:24:02,526 --> 00:24:07,239 They set off your nice tight... assets. 861 00:24:07,239 --> 00:24:07,281 And notice the pouch in the crotch. 862 00:24:07,281 --> 00:24:11,243 And notice the pouch in the crotch. 863 00:24:11,243 --> 00:24:11,285 If you need a little help, you can stuff a sock or hamster in there. 864 00:24:11,285 --> 00:24:16,456 If you need a little help, you can stuff a sock or hamster in there. 865 00:24:16,456 --> 00:24:16,498 I certainly don't need the cavalry to come to my rescue. 866 00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:19,209 I certainly don't need the cavalry to come to my rescue. 867 00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:19,251 My cup is filled to the rim. 868 00:24:19,251 --> 00:24:21,628 My cup is filled to the rim. 869 00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:21,670 Which leads us to another topic. 870 00:24:21,670 --> 00:24:24,548 Which leads us to another topic. 871 00:24:24,548 --> 00:24:24,590 But not tonight. 872 00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:26,091 But not tonight. 873 00:24:26,091 --> 00:24:26,133 I'm the Queer Guy. Be fabulous. 874 00:24:26,133 --> 00:24:29,178 I'm the Queer Guy. Be fabulous. 875 00:24:34,183 --> 00:24:34,224 Thank you, Queer Guy, for that brief report. 876 00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:37,603 Thank you, Queer Guy, for that brief report. 877 00:24:37,603 --> 00:24:37,644 That's the news. We'll be back at 11:00. 878 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,897 That's the news. We'll be back at 11:00. 879 00:24:39,897 --> 00:24:39,938 MAN: We're out. 880 00:24:39,938 --> 00:24:41,398 MAN: We're out. 881 00:24:43,692 --> 00:24:43,734 I thought you told me you were gonna talk about hair-waxing. 882 00:24:43,734 --> 00:24:47,362 I thought you told me you were gonna talk about hair-waxing. 883 00:24:47,362 --> 00:24:47,404 Well, yeah, waxing is vital, but it's not sexy. 884 00:24:47,404 --> 00:24:50,532 Well, yeah, waxing is vital, but it's not sexy. 885 00:24:50,532 --> 00:24:50,574 Sexy? Who wants sexy? 886 00:24:50,574 --> 00:24:53,285 Sexy? Who wants sexy? 887 00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:53,327 Don, you've only been married a few weeks 888 00:24:53,327 --> 00:24:55,162 Don, you've only been married a few weeks 889 00:24:55,162 --> 00:24:55,204 and already you can make a statement like that? 890 00:24:55,204 --> 00:24:57,122 and already you can make a statement like that? 891 00:24:57,122 --> 00:24:57,164 You may need counselling. 892 00:24:57,164 --> 00:24:58,707 You may need counselling. 893 00:24:58,707 --> 00:24:58,749 And you may need unemployment insurance. 894 00:24:58,749 --> 00:25:00,292 And you may need unemployment insurance. 895 00:25:01,752 --> 00:25:01,793 What? 896 00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:03,378 What? 897 00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:03,420 Don't ever show us your... shorts again. 898 00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:08,383 Don't ever show us your... shorts again. 899 00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:08,425 It's just underwear. 900 00:25:08,425 --> 00:25:10,093 It's just underwear. 901 00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:10,135 You don't have to air them in public. 902 00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:11,762 You don't have to air them in public. 903 00:25:11,762 --> 00:25:11,803 And no-one wants to know that you have a tight... 904 00:25:11,803 --> 00:25:14,348 And no-one wants to know that you have a tight... 905 00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:17,684 Ass? 906 00:25:17,684 --> 00:25:19,061 Ass? 907 00:25:19,061 --> 00:25:19,102 Or a big... Dick? 908 00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:21,313 Or a big... Dick? 909 00:25:21,313 --> 00:25:21,355 And that you... Fuck? 910 00:25:21,355 --> 00:25:23,190 And that you... Fuck? 911 00:25:23,190 --> 00:25:23,232 Well, here's a piece of news for you - I do. 912 00:25:23,232 --> 00:25:26,360 Well, here's a piece of news for you - I do. 913 00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:26,401 Well, from now on, stick to cooking and flowers 914 00:25:26,401 --> 00:25:28,695 Well, from now on, stick to cooking and flowers 915 00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:28,737 and turning straight guys into metrosexuals, 916 00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:30,614 and turning straight guys into metrosexuals, 917 00:25:30,614 --> 00:25:30,656 and leave your sex life offscreen. 918 00:25:30,656 --> 00:25:33,242 and leave your sex life offscreen. 919 00:25:35,244 --> 00:25:35,285 Get McGregor on the phone now. 920 00:25:35,285 --> 00:25:36,954 Get McGregor on the phone now. 921 00:25:39,790 --> 00:25:39,831 MAN: We could turn off the back light, yeah. 922 00:25:39,831 --> 00:25:42,000 MAN: We could turn off the back light, yeah. 923 00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:45,337 You can stay for at least an hour. 924 00:25:45,337 --> 00:25:47,214 You can stay for at least an hour. 925 00:25:47,214 --> 00:25:47,256 I told you, I'm making a special guest appearance 926 00:25:47,256 --> 00:25:49,216 I told you, I'm making a special guest appearance 927 00:25:49,216 --> 00:25:49,258 then I'm out of here. 928 00:25:49,258 --> 00:25:50,759 then I'm out of here. 929 00:25:50,759 --> 00:25:50,801 It's for Michael. 930 00:25:50,801 --> 00:25:51,844 It's for Michael. 931 00:25:51,844 --> 00:25:51,885 He should understand better than anyone. 932 00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:53,554 He should understand better than anyone. 933 00:25:53,554 --> 00:25:53,595 The first rule of going to a sex party is don't come late, 934 00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:56,223 The first rule of going to a sex party is don't come late, 935 00:25:56,223 --> 00:25:56,265 otherwise you may not come at all. 936 00:25:56,265 --> 00:25:57,808 otherwise you may not come at all. 937 00:25:57,808 --> 00:25:57,850 Well, that certainly gives new meaning to 938 00:25:57,850 --> 00:25:59,309 Well, that certainly gives new meaning to 939 00:25:59,309 --> 00:25:59,351 "the early bird catches the worm." 940 00:25:59,351 --> 00:26:01,186 "the early bird catches the worm." 941 00:26:01,186 --> 00:26:01,228 Hi. I'm glad you could come. 942 00:26:01,228 --> 00:26:04,481 Hi. I'm glad you could come. 943 00:26:05,774 --> 00:26:05,816 It's all I've been living for. 944 00:26:05,816 --> 00:26:07,401 It's all I've been living for. 945 00:26:07,401 --> 00:26:07,442 Happy house-warming. 946 00:26:07,442 --> 00:26:08,986 Happy house-warming. 947 00:26:11,989 --> 00:26:12,030 Is it a harness and paddle to go with the sling? 948 00:26:12,030 --> 00:26:14,408 Is it a harness and paddle to go with the sling? 949 00:26:14,408 --> 00:26:14,449 No. I picked this one. 950 00:26:14,449 --> 00:26:15,909 No. I picked this one. 951 00:26:18,829 --> 00:26:18,871 You guys have done a great job. 952 00:26:18,871 --> 00:26:20,414 You guys have done a great job. 953 00:26:20,414 --> 00:26:20,455 Oh, we're not through. 954 00:26:20,455 --> 00:26:21,957 Oh, we're not through. 955 00:26:21,957 --> 00:26:21,999 Trust me, you're never through. 956 00:26:21,999 --> 00:26:23,500 Trust me, you're never through. 957 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:23,542 All it takes is time. 958 00:26:23,542 --> 00:26:25,335 All it takes is time. 959 00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:25,377 And money. 960 00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:26,879 And money. 961 00:26:26,879 --> 00:26:26,920 Yeah, tell me about it. 962 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,422 Yeah, tell me about it. 963 00:26:28,422 --> 00:26:28,463 OK, say something for posterity. 964 00:26:28,463 --> 00:26:31,216 OK, say something for posterity. 965 00:26:31,216 --> 00:26:31,258 I'm fucking starving. 966 00:26:31,258 --> 00:26:33,093 I'm fucking starving. 967 00:26:33,093 --> 00:26:33,135 (All laugh) 968 00:26:33,135 --> 00:26:34,303 (All laugh) 969 00:26:34,303 --> 00:26:34,344 Oh. Shit. 970 00:26:34,344 --> 00:26:35,888 Oh. Shit. 971 00:26:35,888 --> 00:26:35,929 It's OK, Deb, I wanted something for posterity. 972 00:26:35,929 --> 00:26:38,765 It's OK, Deb, I wanted something for posterity. 973 00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:38,807 Um... (Clears throat) 974 00:26:38,807 --> 00:26:40,684 Um... (Clears throat) 975 00:26:40,684 --> 00:26:40,726 Posterity. 976 00:26:40,726 --> 00:26:42,227 Posterity. 977 00:26:42,227 --> 00:26:42,269 Now, let's see. 978 00:26:42,269 --> 00:26:43,729 Now, let's see. 979 00:26:45,022 --> 00:26:45,063 I'm very proud of you both 980 00:26:45,063 --> 00:26:47,065 I'm very proud of you both 981 00:26:47,065 --> 00:26:47,107 and I wish you all the health and happiness in the world 982 00:26:47,107 --> 00:26:51,028 and I wish you all the health and happiness in the world 983 00:26:51,028 --> 00:26:51,069 in your beautiful new home. 984 00:26:51,069 --> 00:26:52,654 in your beautiful new home. 985 00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:53,739 How's that? 986 00:26:53,739 --> 00:26:55,157 How's that? 987 00:26:55,157 --> 00:26:55,199 Perfect. 988 00:26:55,199 --> 00:26:56,658 Perfect. 989 00:26:59,119 --> 00:26:59,161 It's amazing what the gays have done with this neighbourhood. 990 00:26:59,161 --> 00:27:02,247 It's amazing what the gays have done with this neighbourhood. 991 00:27:02,247 --> 00:27:02,289 It used to be whorehouses and bookie joints. 992 00:27:02,289 --> 00:27:04,416 It used to be whorehouses and bookie joints. 993 00:27:04,416 --> 00:27:04,458 I know. I used to hang out here all the time. 994 00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:06,710 I know. I used to hang out here all the time. 995 00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:06,752 Really? DOORBELL RINGS 996 00:27:06,752 --> 00:27:08,212 Really? DOORBELL RINGS 997 00:27:08,212 --> 00:27:08,253 When I was a beat cop. 998 00:27:08,253 --> 00:27:09,755 When I was a beat cop. 999 00:27:09,755 --> 00:27:09,796 I'll get it. 1000 00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:11,298 I'll get it. 1001 00:27:15,010 --> 00:27:15,052 Hi. Come on in. 1002 00:27:15,052 --> 00:27:16,637 Hi. Come on in. 1003 00:27:16,637 --> 00:27:16,678 Hey, honey bun. 1004 00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:18,138 Hey, honey bun. 1005 00:27:19,223 --> 00:27:19,264 Thanks for inviting me, 1006 00:27:19,264 --> 00:27:21,058 Thanks for inviting me, 1007 00:27:21,058 --> 00:27:21,099 even though...I mean... 1008 00:27:21,099 --> 00:27:23,810 even though...I mean... 1009 00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:23,852 We're still family, aren't we? 1010 00:27:23,852 --> 00:27:25,562 We're still family, aren't we? 1011 00:27:28,023 --> 00:27:28,065 Happy new house. 1012 00:27:28,065 --> 00:27:29,650 Happy new house. 1013 00:27:29,650 --> 00:27:29,691 Thanks. Do you mind if I show her off? 1014 00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:31,735 Thanks. Do you mind if I show her off? 1015 00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:31,777 Be my guest. 1016 00:27:31,777 --> 00:27:33,237 Be my guest. 1017 00:27:35,614 --> 00:27:35,656 Everyone, meet my beautiful daughter. 1018 00:27:35,656 --> 00:27:38,450 Everyone, meet my beautiful daughter. 1019 00:27:38,450 --> 00:27:38,492 ALL: Aww. 1020 00:27:38,492 --> 00:27:41,286 ALL: Aww. 1021 00:27:41,286 --> 00:27:41,328 Hi, baby. 1022 00:27:41,328 --> 00:27:43,288 Hi, baby. 1023 00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:43,330 Ah, look who it is. 1024 00:27:43,330 --> 00:27:44,957 Ah, look who it is. 1025 00:27:47,292 --> 00:27:47,334 First I'm gonna give him the fucking of his life 1026 00:27:47,334 --> 00:27:49,419 First I'm gonna give him the fucking of his life 1027 00:27:49,419 --> 00:27:49,461 and then I'm gonna give him the mindfucking of his life. 1028 00:27:49,461 --> 00:27:51,713 and then I'm gonna give him the mindfucking of his life. 1029 00:27:51,713 --> 00:27:51,755 I'm gonna say, "Once I was your pity fuck, 1030 00:27:51,755 --> 00:27:53,590 I'm gonna say, "Once I was your pity fuck, 1031 00:27:53,590 --> 00:27:53,632 "but tonight you're mine, you arrogant asshole." 1032 00:27:53,632 --> 00:27:55,717 "but tonight you're mine, you arrogant asshole." 1033 00:27:55,717 --> 00:27:55,759 (Laughs) Speaking of which... 1034 00:27:55,759 --> 00:27:58,512 (Laughs) Speaking of which... 1035 00:27:58,512 --> 00:27:58,554 Aren't you two aunties gonna go ooh and ahh over the baby? 1036 00:27:58,554 --> 00:28:01,515 Aren't you two aunties gonna go ooh and ahh over the baby? 1037 00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:04,476 Caught your underpants on the news the other night. 1038 00:28:04,476 --> 00:28:06,603 Caught your underpants on the news the other night. 1039 00:28:07,938 --> 00:28:07,980 You saving your dick for sweeps? 1040 00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:10,065 You saving your dick for sweeps? 1041 00:28:10,065 --> 00:28:10,107 My producer happened to think it was a terrific segment. 1042 00:28:10,107 --> 00:28:12,734 My producer happened to think it was a terrific segment. 1043 00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:12,776 Yeah, he said it was about time 1044 00:28:12,776 --> 00:28:15,028 Yeah, he said it was about time 1045 00:28:15,028 --> 00:28:15,070 we saw gay people as full sexualised human beings, 1046 00:28:15,070 --> 00:28:17,906 we saw gay people as full sexualised human beings, 1047 00:28:17,906 --> 00:28:17,948 not just stereotypic eunuchs and clowns. 1048 00:28:17,948 --> 00:28:20,701 not just stereotypic eunuchs and clowns. 1049 00:28:22,786 --> 00:28:22,828 Now, if you'll excuse me. 1050 00:28:22,828 --> 00:28:24,329 Now, if you'll excuse me. 1051 00:28:32,546 --> 00:28:32,588 Your daughter's a hit. 1052 00:28:32,588 --> 00:28:34,256 Your daughter's a hit. 1053 00:28:34,256 --> 00:28:34,298 Hmm. I'd say so. 1054 00:28:34,298 --> 00:28:35,799 Hmm. I'd say so. 1055 00:28:37,801 --> 00:28:37,843 I'm glad you came. 1056 00:28:37,843 --> 00:28:39,803 I'm glad you came. 1057 00:28:39,803 --> 00:28:39,845 Mmm... For no other reason, I'm starving. 1058 00:28:39,845 --> 00:28:42,931 Mmm... For no other reason, I'm starving. 1059 00:28:45,142 --> 00:28:45,184 Makes me think of our house-warming. 1060 00:28:45,184 --> 00:28:47,728 Makes me think of our house-warming. 1061 00:28:49,271 --> 00:28:49,313 Huh. 1062 00:28:49,313 --> 00:28:50,939 Huh. 1063 00:28:50,939 --> 00:28:50,981 If anyone needs proof that toilets are controlled by cosmic forces... 1064 00:28:50,981 --> 00:28:54,067 If anyone needs proof that toilets are controlled by cosmic forces... 1065 00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:54,109 Why else would they break down 10 minutes before the guests showed up? 1066 00:28:54,109 --> 00:28:57,196 Why else would they break down 10 minutes before the guests showed up? 1067 00:28:57,196 --> 00:28:57,237 100 dykes peeing in the backyard. 1068 00:28:57,237 --> 00:28:59,156 100 dykes peeing in the backyard. 1069 00:28:59,156 --> 00:28:59,198 The bushes in the bushes. 1070 00:28:59,198 --> 00:29:00,657 The bushes in the bushes. 1071 00:29:02,576 --> 00:29:02,618 (Both laugh) 1072 00:29:02,618 --> 00:29:05,996 (Both laugh) 1073 00:29:07,915 --> 00:29:07,956 GLASSES CLINK 1074 00:29:07,956 --> 00:29:09,583 GLASSES CLINK 1075 00:29:09,583 --> 00:29:09,625 Everybody... Could we have your attention? 1076 00:29:09,625 --> 00:29:12,628 Everybody... Could we have your attention? 1077 00:29:12,628 --> 00:29:12,669 We'd just like to welcome all of you to our new home. 1078 00:29:12,669 --> 00:29:17,925 We'd just like to welcome all of you to our new home. 1079 00:29:17,925 --> 00:29:17,966 Beautiful new home. 1080 00:29:17,966 --> 00:29:19,760 Beautiful new home. 1081 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:19,801 And we look forward to sharing many happy family occasions here together. 1082 00:29:19,801 --> 00:29:25,015 And we look forward to sharing many happy family occasions here together. 1083 00:29:25,015 --> 00:29:25,057 (All cheer) Hear, hear. 1084 00:29:25,057 --> 00:29:27,100 (All cheer) Hear, hear. 1085 00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:27,142 Happy family occasions. 1086 00:29:27,142 --> 00:29:29,228 Happy family occasions. 1087 00:29:29,228 --> 00:29:29,269 We also have another reason to celebrate tonight. 1088 00:29:29,269 --> 00:29:32,439 We also have another reason to celebrate tonight. 1089 00:29:33,482 --> 00:29:33,524 Rage and J.T. are getting married. 1090 00:29:33,524 --> 00:29:37,569 Rage and J.T. are getting married. 1091 00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:37,611 It's about time those two superheroes settled down. 1092 00:29:37,611 --> 00:29:40,072 It's about time those two superheroes settled down. 1093 00:29:40,072 --> 00:29:40,113 When do they start raising a superfamily? 1094 00:29:40,113 --> 00:29:42,574 When do they start raising a superfamily? 1095 00:29:42,574 --> 00:29:42,616 That's next. 1096 00:29:42,616 --> 00:29:44,159 That's next. 1097 00:29:44,159 --> 00:29:44,201 Got a copy for everyone. Our little house-warming gift to you. 1098 00:29:44,201 --> 00:29:47,246 Got a copy for everyone. Our little house-warming gift to you. 1099 00:29:47,246 --> 00:29:47,287 MAN: Thank you. 1100 00:29:47,287 --> 00:29:48,789 MAN: Thank you. 1101 00:29:48,789 --> 00:29:48,830 Here you go, Brian. 1102 00:29:48,830 --> 00:29:50,624 Here you go, Brian. 1103 00:29:55,170 --> 00:29:55,212 Here you are. 1104 00:29:55,212 --> 00:29:56,755 Here you are. 1105 00:29:56,755 --> 00:29:56,797 Do you like it? 1106 00:29:56,797 --> 00:29:58,257 Do you like it? 1107 00:29:59,800 --> 00:29:59,842 It reminds me of this Norman Rockwell 1108 00:29:59,842 --> 00:30:01,844 It reminds me of this Norman Rockwell 1109 00:30:01,844 --> 00:30:01,885 I saw in the doctor's office when I was a kid. 1110 00:30:01,885 --> 00:30:04,179 I saw in the doctor's office when I was a kid. 1111 00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:04,221 A little girl and boy dressed as bride and groom 1112 00:30:04,221 --> 00:30:08,183 A little girl and boy dressed as bride and groom 1113 00:30:08,183 --> 00:30:08,225 and their adorable puppy tugging on the bridal gown. 1114 00:30:08,225 --> 00:30:11,603 and their adorable puppy tugging on the bridal gown. 1115 00:30:11,603 --> 00:30:11,645 Just then the nurse came in and stabbed me in the finger for blood. 1116 00:30:11,645 --> 00:30:14,982 Just then the nurse came in and stabbed me in the finger for blood. 1117 00:30:14,982 --> 00:30:15,023 And you've had an aversion to marriage ever since? 1118 00:30:15,023 --> 00:30:17,693 And you've had an aversion to marriage ever since? 1119 00:30:17,693 --> 00:30:17,734 Well, I happen to think it's a damn good story. 1120 00:30:17,734 --> 00:30:20,320 Well, I happen to think it's a damn good story. 1121 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:20,362 Just because it doesn't agree with your anti-family values 1122 00:30:20,362 --> 00:30:23,240 Just because it doesn't agree with your anti-family values 1123 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:23,282 is no reason to dump on it. 1124 00:30:23,282 --> 00:30:24,741 is no reason to dump on it. 1125 00:30:26,952 --> 00:30:26,994 OK. 1126 00:30:26,994 --> 00:30:28,495 OK. 1127 00:30:37,504 --> 00:30:37,546 Let's get the whole family. 1128 00:30:37,546 --> 00:30:39,089 Let's get the whole family. 1129 00:30:39,089 --> 00:30:39,131 How do you work this thing? 1130 00:30:39,131 --> 00:30:40,674 How do you work this thing? 1131 00:30:40,674 --> 00:30:40,716 Good idea. I'll get Jerry, you get Hunter. 1132 00:30:40,716 --> 00:30:43,010 Good idea. I'll get Jerry, you get Hunter. 1133 00:30:43,010 --> 00:30:43,051 OK. 1134 00:30:43,051 --> 00:30:44,511 OK. 1135 00:30:47,347 --> 00:30:47,389 Hey, pal. We're taking a video of the whole family. Care to join us? 1136 00:30:47,389 --> 00:30:51,143 Hey, pal. We're taking a video of the whole family. Care to join us? 1137 00:30:51,143 --> 00:30:51,185 What do you want me for? 1138 00:30:51,185 --> 00:30:52,728 What do you want me for? 1139 00:30:58,984 --> 00:30:59,026 TECHNO MUSIC 1140 00:30:59,026 --> 00:31:02,112 TECHNO MUSIC 1141 00:31:37,314 --> 00:31:37,356 If a better offer comes along... 1142 00:31:37,356 --> 00:31:39,483 If a better offer comes along... 1143 00:32:02,506 --> 00:32:02,548 That'll be $5.25. 1144 00:32:02,548 --> 00:32:04,800 That'll be $5.25. 1145 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:04,842 Thanks. 1146 00:32:04,842 --> 00:32:06,468 Thanks. 1147 00:32:06,468 --> 00:32:06,510 Another satisfied customer. 1148 00:32:06,510 --> 00:32:08,554 Another satisfied customer. 1149 00:32:08,554 --> 00:32:08,595 DOOR OPENS, CLOSES 1150 00:32:08,595 --> 00:32:10,138 DOOR OPENS, CLOSES 1151 00:32:10,138 --> 00:32:10,180 You know, you say that every time you sell one. 1152 00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:12,432 You know, you say that every time you sell one. 1153 00:32:12,432 --> 00:32:12,474 I do? Well, it must be true. 1154 00:32:12,474 --> 00:32:14,560 I do? Well, it must be true. 1155 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:14,601 We've sold 536 copies on the website and almost 200 here in the store. 1156 00:32:14,601 --> 00:32:18,105 We've sold 536 copies on the website and almost 200 here in the store. 1157 00:32:18,105 --> 00:32:18,146 Those are all we have left. 1158 00:32:18,146 --> 00:32:20,232 Those are all we have left. 1159 00:32:20,232 --> 00:32:20,274 Everybody loves that J.T. finally got his man. 1160 00:32:20,274 --> 00:32:22,609 Everybody loves that J.T. finally got his man. 1161 00:32:22,609 --> 00:32:22,651 Yeah. Everyone but you know who. 1162 00:32:22,651 --> 00:32:25,612 Yeah. Everyone but you know who. 1163 00:32:25,612 --> 00:32:25,654 Yeah, I do know who. 1164 00:32:25,654 --> 00:32:27,823 Yeah, I do know who. 1165 00:32:28,949 --> 00:32:28,991 Well? 1166 00:32:28,991 --> 00:32:30,033 Well? 1167 00:32:30,033 --> 00:32:30,075 Well, what did you expect? 1168 00:32:30,075 --> 00:32:31,702 Well, what did you expect? 1169 00:32:31,702 --> 00:32:31,743 What did I expect? 1170 00:32:31,743 --> 00:32:33,787 What did I expect? 1171 00:32:35,163 --> 00:32:35,205 That life might imitate art. 1172 00:32:35,205 --> 00:32:37,332 That life might imitate art. 1173 00:32:37,332 --> 00:32:37,374 I've heard it's been known to happen. 1174 00:32:37,374 --> 00:32:41,044 I've heard it's been known to happen. 1175 00:32:41,044 --> 00:32:41,086 Ah, how could I have been suckered in to my own fantasy? 1176 00:32:41,086 --> 00:32:43,755 Ah, how could I have been suckered in to my own fantasy? 1177 00:32:43,755 --> 00:32:43,797 Talk about pathetic. 1178 00:32:43,797 --> 00:32:45,549 Talk about pathetic. 1179 00:32:45,549 --> 00:32:45,591 Nobody on earth knows better than I do 1180 00:32:45,591 --> 00:32:48,468 Nobody on earth knows better than I do 1181 00:32:48,468 --> 00:32:48,510 that unless he were genetically altered by some nuclear mishap, 1182 00:32:48,510 --> 00:32:51,430 that unless he were genetically altered by some nuclear mishap, 1183 00:32:51,430 --> 00:32:51,471 that could never happen. 1184 00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:53,640 that could never happen. 1185 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:53,682 Not a bad story. 1186 00:32:53,682 --> 00:32:55,601 Not a bad story. 1187 00:32:55,601 --> 00:32:55,642 Mm. But that's all it is. It's a story. 1188 00:32:55,642 --> 00:32:58,645 Mm. But that's all it is. It's a story. 1189 00:32:58,645 --> 00:32:58,687 DOOR OPENS 1190 00:32:58,687 --> 00:33:01,064 DOOR OPENS 1191 00:33:01,064 --> 00:33:01,106 Do you have the new issue of 'Rage'? 1192 00:33:01,106 --> 00:33:03,650 Do you have the new issue of 'Rage'? 1193 00:33:05,402 --> 00:33:05,444 This is totally awesome. 1194 00:33:05,444 --> 00:33:07,487 This is totally awesome. 1195 00:33:11,158 --> 00:33:11,200 Another satisfied customer. 1196 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,493 Another satisfied customer. 1197 00:33:15,287 --> 00:33:15,329 (Groans) 1198 00:33:15,329 --> 00:33:16,997 (Groans) 1199 00:33:18,582 --> 00:33:18,624 Well, I think the house has been officially warmed, 1200 00:33:18,624 --> 00:33:23,170 Well, I think the house has been officially warmed, 1201 00:33:23,170 --> 00:33:23,212 wouldn't you say? 1202 00:33:23,212 --> 00:33:25,464 wouldn't you say? 1203 00:33:27,549 --> 00:33:27,591 Great party, huh? 1204 00:33:27,591 --> 00:33:29,134 Great party, huh? 1205 00:33:29,134 --> 00:33:29,176 Everybody seemed to have a good time. 1206 00:33:29,176 --> 00:33:32,179 Everybody seemed to have a good time. 1207 00:33:33,222 --> 00:33:33,263 Yeah. 1208 00:33:33,263 --> 00:33:35,682 Yeah. 1209 00:33:35,682 --> 00:33:35,724 If you call Melanie and Lindsay declaring a cease-fire, 1210 00:33:35,724 --> 00:33:38,810 If you call Melanie and Lindsay declaring a cease-fire, 1211 00:33:38,810 --> 00:33:38,852 Brian leaving to go to a sex party 1212 00:33:38,852 --> 00:33:41,855 Brian leaving to go to a sex party 1213 00:33:41,855 --> 00:33:41,897 and you and Michael sticking that fucking camera in my face, 1214 00:33:41,897 --> 00:33:44,525 and you and Michael sticking that fucking camera in my face, 1215 00:33:44,525 --> 00:33:44,566 pretending we're this happy family, 1216 00:33:44,566 --> 00:33:46,068 pretending we're this happy family, 1217 00:33:46,068 --> 00:33:46,109 having a good time. 1218 00:33:46,109 --> 00:33:47,611 having a good time. 1219 00:33:47,611 --> 00:33:47,653 We're not pretending. We are. 1220 00:33:47,653 --> 00:33:49,655 We're not pretending. We are. 1221 00:33:54,868 --> 00:33:54,910 You're gonna get through this. 1222 00:33:54,910 --> 00:33:58,205 You're gonna get through this. 1223 00:33:58,205 --> 00:33:58,247 I promise. 1224 00:33:58,247 --> 00:34:00,832 I promise. 1225 00:34:00,832 --> 00:34:00,874 Fuck your false hope. 1226 00:34:00,874 --> 00:34:02,501 Fuck your false hope. 1227 00:34:04,294 --> 00:34:04,336 The world's a stinking shit-hole. 1228 00:34:04,336 --> 00:34:06,839 The world's a stinking shit-hole. 1229 00:34:11,426 --> 00:34:11,468 Well, I don't think Sartre could have said it any better. 1230 00:34:11,468 --> 00:34:15,472 Well, I don't think Sartre could have said it any better. 1231 00:34:15,472 --> 00:34:15,514 Who? 1232 00:34:15,514 --> 00:34:17,266 Who? 1233 00:34:19,852 --> 00:34:19,893 Listen, I found a great charter school. 1234 00:34:19,893 --> 00:34:23,772 Listen, I found a great charter school. 1235 00:34:23,772 --> 00:34:23,814 They have a waiting list a mile long 1236 00:34:23,814 --> 00:34:25,607 They have a waiting list a mile long 1237 00:34:25,607 --> 00:34:25,649 but a professor in my department is on the board, 1238 00:34:25,649 --> 00:34:27,651 but a professor in my department is on the board, 1239 00:34:27,651 --> 00:34:27,693 so I pulled a few strings... 1240 00:34:27,693 --> 00:34:29,194 so I pulled a few strings... 1241 00:34:29,194 --> 00:34:29,236 Why even bother? Huh? 1242 00:34:29,236 --> 00:34:31,572 Why even bother? Huh? 1243 00:34:31,572 --> 00:34:31,613 They'll just find out there, too, 1244 00:34:31,613 --> 00:34:33,156 They'll just find out there, too, 1245 00:34:33,156 --> 00:34:33,198 and then it will start all over again. 1246 00:34:33,198 --> 00:34:34,783 and then it will start all over again. 1247 00:34:36,952 --> 00:34:36,994 So what's the point of my going to another fucking school?! 1248 00:34:36,994 --> 00:34:40,455 So what's the point of my going to another fucking school?! 1249 00:34:48,714 --> 00:34:48,755 (Sighs) 1250 00:34:48,755 --> 00:34:50,966 (Sighs) 1251 00:34:52,885 --> 00:34:52,926 I haven't been here since you left. 1252 00:34:52,926 --> 00:34:55,762 I haven't been here since you left. 1253 00:34:55,762 --> 00:34:55,804 Somehow, it's not the same. 1254 00:34:55,804 --> 00:34:58,432 Somehow, it's not the same. 1255 00:34:58,432 --> 00:34:58,473 Yeah. 1256 00:34:58,473 --> 00:35:00,100 Yeah. 1257 00:35:00,100 --> 00:35:00,142 Neither am I. 1258 00:35:00,142 --> 00:35:02,060 Neither am I. 1259 00:35:03,437 --> 00:35:03,478 Carl? 1260 00:35:03,478 --> 00:35:04,479 Carl? 1261 00:35:06,148 --> 00:35:06,190 Honey, I found out what's wrong with me. 1262 00:35:06,190 --> 00:35:08,942 Honey, I found out what's wrong with me. 1263 00:35:11,653 --> 00:35:11,695 I just want you to know... 1264 00:35:11,695 --> 00:35:13,405 I just want you to know... 1265 00:35:14,531 --> 00:35:14,573 ..that whatever it is... 1266 00:35:14,573 --> 00:35:16,658 ..that whatever it is... 1267 00:35:16,658 --> 00:35:16,700 (Sighs) 1268 00:35:16,700 --> 00:35:18,452 (Sighs) 1269 00:35:18,452 --> 00:35:18,493 ..I'm in this for the long haul. 1270 00:35:18,493 --> 00:35:20,662 ..I'm in this for the long haul. 1271 00:35:20,662 --> 00:35:20,704 I'll stand by you. I'm not going anywhere. 1272 00:35:20,704 --> 00:35:22,706 I'll stand by you. I'm not going anywhere. 1273 00:35:24,499 --> 00:35:24,541 I know that, sweetheart. That's why I love you. 1274 00:35:24,541 --> 00:35:27,503 I know that, sweetheart. That's why I love you. 1275 00:35:27,503 --> 00:35:27,544 OK. Tell me. No, wait. 1276 00:35:27,544 --> 00:35:30,506 OK. Tell me. No, wait. 1277 00:35:30,506 --> 00:35:30,547 Wait. 1278 00:35:30,547 --> 00:35:32,341 Wait. 1279 00:35:33,592 --> 00:35:33,634 OK. Tell me. 1280 00:35:33,634 --> 00:35:36,178 OK. Tell me. 1281 00:35:36,178 --> 00:35:36,220 First of all, 1282 00:35:36,220 --> 00:35:38,096 First of all, 1283 00:35:38,096 --> 00:35:38,138 it's not a physical thing. 1284 00:35:38,138 --> 00:35:39,640 it's not a physical thing. 1285 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:39,681 Oh! Ooh! 1286 00:35:39,681 --> 00:35:42,351 Oh! Ooh! 1287 00:35:43,519 --> 00:35:43,560 That's a relief. 1288 00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,062 That's a relief. 1289 00:35:46,313 --> 00:35:46,355 Then, what? 1290 00:35:46,355 --> 00:35:47,606 Then, what? 1291 00:35:49,691 --> 00:35:49,733 It's hard to explain. 1292 00:35:49,733 --> 00:35:52,319 It's hard to explain. 1293 00:35:54,321 --> 00:35:54,363 Ever since I left here, I've felt lost. 1294 00:35:54,363 --> 00:35:56,698 Ever since I left here, I've felt lost. 1295 00:35:56,698 --> 00:35:56,740 I've no place to go, 1296 00:35:56,740 --> 00:35:59,910 I've no place to go, 1297 00:35:59,910 --> 00:35:59,952 I got nothing to do but sit at home 1298 00:35:59,952 --> 00:36:01,954 I got nothing to do but sit at home 1299 00:36:01,954 --> 00:36:01,995 and buy lots of shit that I don't want off TV. 1300 00:36:01,995 --> 00:36:04,248 and buy lots of shit that I don't want off TV. 1301 00:36:04,248 --> 00:36:04,289 That's what a lady of leisure's supposed to do. 1302 00:36:04,289 --> 00:36:06,333 That's what a lady of leisure's supposed to do. 1303 00:36:06,333 --> 00:36:06,375 I mean, you know, relax, enjoy yourself 1304 00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:10,671 I mean, you know, relax, enjoy yourself 1305 00:36:10,671 --> 00:36:10,712 and be glad you don't have to work. 1306 00:36:10,712 --> 00:36:12,798 and be glad you don't have to work. 1307 00:36:12,798 --> 00:36:12,840 It's funny. I never thought of it as work. 1308 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,217 It's funny. I never thought of it as work. 1309 00:36:15,217 --> 00:36:15,259 All those long, hard hours, on your feet... 1310 00:36:15,259 --> 00:36:18,595 All those long, hard hours, on your feet... 1311 00:36:18,595 --> 00:36:18,637 ..juggling plates. 1312 00:36:18,637 --> 00:36:20,889 ..juggling plates. 1313 00:36:20,889 --> 00:36:20,931 To me, it was more like a dance. 1314 00:36:20,931 --> 00:36:23,559 To me, it was more like a dance. 1315 00:36:23,559 --> 00:36:23,600 And I was the prima ballerina. 1316 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,436 And I was the prima ballerina. 1317 00:36:26,436 --> 00:36:26,478 This is not exactly the, uh... 1318 00:36:26,478 --> 00:36:29,231 This is not exactly the, uh... 1319 00:36:29,231 --> 00:36:29,273 ..Royal Ballet of Pittsburgh. 1320 00:36:29,273 --> 00:36:31,483 ..Royal Ballet of Pittsburgh. 1321 00:36:32,901 --> 00:36:32,943 But it's my job. 1322 00:36:32,943 --> 00:36:34,444 But it's my job. 1323 00:36:36,071 --> 00:36:36,113 No, it's more than a job. 1324 00:36:36,113 --> 00:36:38,448 No, it's more than a job. 1325 00:36:38,448 --> 00:36:38,490 It's who I am. 1326 00:36:38,490 --> 00:36:40,701 It's who I am. 1327 00:36:42,828 --> 00:36:42,870 And I want it back. 1328 00:36:42,870 --> 00:36:44,580 And I want it back. 1329 00:36:46,123 --> 00:36:46,164 (Sighs) 1330 00:36:46,164 --> 00:36:48,542 (Sighs) 1331 00:36:48,542 --> 00:36:48,584 I-I was just... 1332 00:36:48,584 --> 00:36:50,711 I-I was just... 1333 00:36:50,711 --> 00:36:50,752 ..trying to make it easier on...on you. 1334 00:36:50,752 --> 00:36:53,922 ..trying to make it easier on...on you. 1335 00:36:53,922 --> 00:36:53,964 But...if this'll make you happy... 1336 00:36:53,964 --> 00:36:58,594 But...if this'll make you happy... 1337 00:36:58,594 --> 00:36:58,635 (Laughs) 1338 00:36:58,635 --> 00:37:00,137 (Laughs) 1339 00:37:00,137 --> 00:37:00,179 ..like I said, I'll stand by you. 1340 00:37:00,179 --> 00:37:03,182 ..like I said, I'll stand by you. 1341 00:37:03,182 --> 00:37:03,223 Uh, I'm not going anywhere. 1342 00:37:03,223 --> 00:37:04,933 Uh, I'm not going anywhere. 1343 00:37:07,019 --> 00:37:07,060 Thank you, Carl. 1344 00:37:07,060 --> 00:37:09,688 Thank you, Carl. 1345 00:37:12,065 --> 00:37:12,107 Now, you sure you're OK with this? 1346 00:37:12,107 --> 00:37:14,735 Now, you sure you're OK with this? 1347 00:37:16,195 --> 00:37:16,236 100% sure. 1348 00:37:16,236 --> 00:37:17,779 100% sure. 1349 00:37:17,779 --> 00:37:17,821 Good. 1350 00:37:17,821 --> 00:37:20,157 Good. 1351 00:37:20,157 --> 00:37:20,199 'Cause my shift started five minutes ago. 1352 00:37:20,199 --> 00:37:22,659 'Cause my shift started five minutes ago. 1353 00:37:22,659 --> 00:37:22,701 (Laughs) 1354 00:37:22,701 --> 00:37:25,412 (Laughs) 1355 00:37:25,412 --> 00:37:25,454 So... 1356 00:37:25,454 --> 00:37:26,955 So... 1357 00:37:26,955 --> 00:37:26,997 ..what'll it be? 1358 00:37:26,997 --> 00:37:29,249 ..what'll it be? 1359 00:37:29,249 --> 00:37:29,291 (Carl laughs) 1360 00:37:29,291 --> 00:37:31,084 (Carl laughs) 1361 00:37:31,084 --> 00:37:31,126 (Moans) (Grunts) 1362 00:37:31,126 --> 00:37:34,129 (Moans) (Grunts) 1363 00:37:38,133 --> 00:37:38,175 (Laughs) 1364 00:37:38,175 --> 00:37:40,135 (Laughs) 1365 00:37:40,135 --> 00:37:40,177 Ah! 1366 00:37:40,177 --> 00:37:41,762 Ah! 1367 00:37:41,762 --> 00:37:41,803 Whoo! 1368 00:37:41,803 --> 00:37:43,347 Whoo! 1369 00:37:43,347 --> 00:37:43,388 That was hot! 1370 00:37:43,388 --> 00:37:45,307 That was hot! 1371 00:37:45,307 --> 00:37:45,349 (Pants) 1372 00:37:45,349 --> 00:37:47,851 (Pants) 1373 00:37:47,851 --> 00:37:47,893 Think so? 1374 00:37:47,893 --> 00:37:49,436 Think so? 1375 00:37:49,436 --> 00:37:49,478 Yeah. 1376 00:37:49,478 --> 00:37:51,146 Yeah. 1377 00:37:51,146 --> 00:37:51,188 (Opens bin) 1378 00:37:51,188 --> 00:37:52,689 (Opens bin) 1379 00:37:52,689 --> 00:37:52,731 You know, I've been here before. 1380 00:37:52,731 --> 00:37:56,985 You know, I've been here before. 1381 00:37:56,985 --> 00:37:57,027 Oh? 1382 00:37:57,027 --> 00:37:58,737 Oh? 1383 00:37:58,737 --> 00:37:58,779 I mean, in this building. 1384 00:37:58,779 --> 00:38:00,864 I mean, in this building. 1385 00:38:00,864 --> 00:38:00,906 Fucked some poor loser. 1386 00:38:00,906 --> 00:38:02,991 Fucked some poor loser. 1387 00:38:04,576 --> 00:38:04,618 Yeah, well, the place is crawling with them. 1388 00:38:04,618 --> 00:38:07,663 Yeah, well, the place is crawling with them. 1389 00:38:07,663 --> 00:38:07,704 Believe me, I know. 1390 00:38:07,704 --> 00:38:09,414 Believe me, I know. 1391 00:38:09,414 --> 00:38:09,456 (Laughs) Hmm. 1392 00:38:09,456 --> 00:38:11,583 (Laughs) Hmm. 1393 00:38:11,583 --> 00:38:11,625 One of my pity fucks. 1394 00:38:11,625 --> 00:38:13,669 One of my pity fucks. 1395 00:38:13,669 --> 00:38:13,710 Yeah, speaking of pity fucks... 1396 00:38:13,710 --> 00:38:16,088 Yeah, speaking of pity fucks... 1397 00:38:16,088 --> 00:38:16,129 You know, 1398 00:38:16,129 --> 00:38:17,673 You know, 1399 00:38:17,673 --> 00:38:17,714 when we first hooked up at the gym, I wasn't sure. 1400 00:38:17,714 --> 00:38:21,051 when we first hooked up at the gym, I wasn't sure. 1401 00:38:21,051 --> 00:38:21,093 That I was your type? 1402 00:38:21,093 --> 00:38:22,719 That I was your type? 1403 00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:22,761 That you'd be so...hot. 1404 00:38:22,761 --> 00:38:25,639 That you'd be so...hot. 1405 00:38:25,639 --> 00:38:25,681 But, man, are you ever. 1406 00:38:25,681 --> 00:38:27,850 But, man, are you ever. 1407 00:38:29,434 --> 00:38:29,476 Look. 1408 00:38:29,476 --> 00:38:31,019 Look. 1409 00:38:31,019 --> 00:38:31,061 I'm still hard. 1410 00:38:31,061 --> 00:38:34,273 I'm still hard. 1411 00:38:34,273 --> 00:38:34,314 You up for another round? 1412 00:38:34,314 --> 00:38:36,859 You up for another round? 1413 00:38:39,152 --> 00:38:39,194 Actually, there's something I want to say to you. 1414 00:38:39,194 --> 00:38:41,697 Actually, there's something I want to say to you. 1415 00:38:41,697 --> 00:38:41,738 That you want to roll me over and fuck me again? 1416 00:38:41,738 --> 00:38:44,741 That you want to roll me over and fuck me again? 1417 00:38:48,871 --> 00:38:48,912 What I want to... 1418 00:38:48,912 --> 00:38:50,664 What I want to... 1419 00:38:52,124 --> 00:38:52,165 ..what I want to say to...to you... 1420 00:38:52,165 --> 00:38:54,710 ..what I want to say to...to you... 1421 00:38:55,794 --> 00:38:55,836 ..is, uh... 1422 00:38:55,836 --> 00:38:57,588 ..is, uh... 1423 00:39:00,549 --> 00:39:00,591 Roll over. 1424 00:39:00,591 --> 00:39:02,843 Roll over. 1425 00:39:05,220 --> 00:39:05,262 Oh, yeah. 1426 00:39:05,262 --> 00:39:07,723 Oh, yeah. 1427 00:39:08,807 --> 00:39:08,849 Michael, we can't force him to go to school. 1428 00:39:08,849 --> 00:39:11,643 Michael, we can't force him to go to school. 1429 00:39:11,643 --> 00:39:11,685 Of course we can. We're his parents. Hell, he's only 17. 1430 00:39:11,685 --> 00:39:14,563 Of course we can. We're his parents. Hell, he's only 17. 1431 00:39:14,563 --> 00:39:14,605 You can quit school when you're 16. 1432 00:39:14,605 --> 00:39:16,732 You can quit school when you're 16. 1433 00:39:16,732 --> 00:39:16,773 Besides, if we pressure him, we'll only push him away more. 1434 00:39:16,773 --> 00:39:19,401 Besides, if we pressure him, we'll only push him away more. 1435 00:39:19,401 --> 00:39:19,443 He's got to finish high school 1436 00:39:19,443 --> 00:39:21,528 He's got to finish high school 1437 00:39:21,528 --> 00:39:21,570 so he can go to college and become a doctor and a lawyer 1438 00:39:21,570 --> 00:39:24,198 so he can go to college and become a doctor and a lawyer 1439 00:39:24,198 --> 00:39:24,239 and President of the United States. 1440 00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,491 and President of the United States. 1441 00:39:28,994 --> 00:39:29,036 What was that for? 1442 00:39:29,036 --> 00:39:30,621 What was that for? 1443 00:39:30,621 --> 00:39:30,662 The eternal optimist. That's why I love you. 1444 00:39:30,662 --> 00:39:32,748 The eternal optimist. That's why I love you. 1445 00:39:32,748 --> 00:39:32,789 Now, let's just give him some time and some space 1446 00:39:32,789 --> 00:39:35,584 Now, let's just give him some time and some space 1447 00:39:35,584 --> 00:39:35,626 and, hopefully, he'll come to the right decision. 1448 00:39:35,626 --> 00:39:37,794 and, hopefully, he'll come to the right decision. 1449 00:39:45,135 --> 00:39:45,177 Oh. Hey, I was just about to call you for dinner. 1450 00:39:45,177 --> 00:39:48,722 Oh. Hey, I was just about to call you for dinner. 1451 00:39:48,722 --> 00:39:48,764 But just 'cause I said we're having sloppy joes 1452 00:39:48,764 --> 00:39:50,724 But just 'cause I said we're having sloppy joes 1453 00:39:50,724 --> 00:39:50,766 doesn't mean we're gonna go camping. 1454 00:39:50,766 --> 00:39:52,309 doesn't mean we're gonna go camping. 1455 00:39:52,309 --> 00:39:52,351 Going somewhere? Yeah. 1456 00:39:52,351 --> 00:39:55,312 Going somewhere? Yeah. 1457 00:39:55,312 --> 00:39:55,354 Well, uh, eat first and don't be out too late. 1458 00:39:55,354 --> 00:39:58,398 Well, uh, eat first and don't be out too late. 1459 00:39:58,398 --> 00:39:58,440 I mean, I'm leaving. 1460 00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,651 I mean, I'm leaving. 1461 00:40:01,693 --> 00:40:01,735 For good. 1462 00:40:01,735 --> 00:40:03,737 For good. 1463 00:40:07,074 --> 00:40:07,115 What do you mean you're... 1464 00:40:07,115 --> 00:40:09,076 What do you mean you're... 1465 00:40:09,076 --> 00:40:09,117 I can't stay here anymore, OK? 1466 00:40:09,117 --> 00:40:11,078 I can't stay here anymore, OK? 1467 00:40:11,078 --> 00:40:11,119 No. It's not OK. 1468 00:40:11,119 --> 00:40:12,996 No. It's not OK. 1469 00:40:12,996 --> 00:40:13,038 Now, put your things away 1470 00:40:13,038 --> 00:40:15,374 Now, put your things away 1471 00:40:15,374 --> 00:40:15,415 and sit down and eat 1472 00:40:15,415 --> 00:40:16,917 and sit down and eat 1473 00:40:16,917 --> 00:40:16,959 and, afterwards, we'll discuss this. 1474 00:40:16,959 --> 00:40:18,502 and, afterwards, we'll discuss this. 1475 00:40:18,502 --> 00:40:18,544 We've already discussed it. There's nothing left to say. 1476 00:40:18,544 --> 00:40:21,547 We've already discussed it. There's nothing left to say. 1477 00:40:21,547 --> 00:40:21,630 Well, I said you're not going anywhere and that's final. 1478 00:40:21,630 --> 00:40:23,674 Well, I said you're not going anywhere and that's final. 1479 00:40:23,674 --> 00:40:23,715 Hey, Michael! Michael. What? He can't just leave! 1480 00:40:23,715 --> 00:40:25,717 Hey, Michael! Michael. What? He can't just leave! 1481 00:40:25,717 --> 00:40:25,759 We're his parents, for Christ's sake, whether he likes it or not. 1482 00:40:25,759 --> 00:40:28,220 We're his parents, for Christ's sake, whether he likes it or not. 1483 00:40:28,220 --> 00:40:28,262 We're his legal guardians. What we say goes. 1484 00:40:28,262 --> 00:40:30,347 We're his legal guardians. What we say goes. 1485 00:40:30,347 --> 00:40:30,389 Hunter, nothing's gonna be solved by running away. 1486 00:40:30,389 --> 00:40:31,974 Hunter, nothing's gonna be solved by running away. 1487 00:40:31,974 --> 00:40:32,015 I don't belong here! I don't belong in this house. 1488 00:40:32,015 --> 00:40:34,518 I don't belong here! I don't belong in this house. 1489 00:40:34,518 --> 00:40:34,560 I don't belong at that school! 1490 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,478 I don't belong at that school! 1491 00:40:36,478 --> 00:40:36,520 And I don't belong with you! Of course you belong with us. 1492 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,898 And I don't belong with you! Of course you belong with us. 1493 00:40:39,898 --> 00:40:39,940 I'll only go on causing you problems. Embarrassing you. 1494 00:40:39,940 --> 00:40:43,151 I'll only go on causing you problems. Embarrassing you. 1495 00:40:43,151 --> 00:40:43,193 You don't embarrass us. We're proud of you. 1496 00:40:43,193 --> 00:40:45,404 You don't embarrass us. We're proud of you. 1497 00:40:45,404 --> 00:40:45,445 This is not the debate team. 1498 00:40:45,445 --> 00:40:46,947 This is not the debate team. 1499 00:40:46,947 --> 00:40:46,989 There's no argument here except... 1500 00:40:46,989 --> 00:40:48,866 There's no argument here except... 1501 00:40:48,866 --> 00:40:48,907 ..do you want apple sauce or canned peaches? 1502 00:40:48,907 --> 00:40:51,577 ..do you want apple sauce or canned peaches? 1503 00:40:52,911 --> 00:40:52,953 Hunter! 1504 00:40:52,953 --> 00:40:54,580 Hunter! 1505 00:40:54,580 --> 00:40:54,621 I don't care if I have to lock you in your fucking room! 1506 00:40:54,621 --> 00:40:57,499 I don't care if I have to lock you in your fucking room! 1507 00:41:02,296 --> 00:41:02,337 Where are you gonna go? I don't know. 1508 00:41:02,337 --> 00:41:04,423 Where are you gonna go? I don't know. 1509 00:41:04,423 --> 00:41:04,464 Do you have any money? 1510 00:41:04,464 --> 00:41:06,049 Do you have any money? 1511 00:41:06,049 --> 00:41:06,091 What you and Michael gave me for my birthday. 1512 00:41:06,091 --> 00:41:08,093 What you and Michael gave me for my birthday. 1513 00:41:08,093 --> 00:41:08,135 No plan, no money - perfect. How do you intend to support yourself? 1514 00:41:08,135 --> 00:41:11,388 No plan, no money - perfect. How do you intend to support yourself? 1515 00:41:11,388 --> 00:41:11,430 I'll think of something. I bet you will. 1516 00:41:11,430 --> 00:41:14,725 I'll think of something. I bet you will. 1517 00:41:14,725 --> 00:41:14,766 Hey... 1518 00:41:14,766 --> 00:41:16,602 Hey... 1519 00:41:18,353 --> 00:41:18,395 If you need more, call us. 1520 00:41:18,395 --> 00:41:20,397 If you need more, call us. 1521 00:41:22,232 --> 00:41:22,274 What the fuck are you doing? 1522 00:41:22,274 --> 00:41:24,484 What the fuck are you doing? 1523 00:41:32,075 --> 00:41:32,117 Hunter, wait. 1524 00:41:32,117 --> 00:41:33,744 Hunter, wait. 1525 00:41:38,207 --> 00:41:38,248 Just put it in your shoe or some place safe. 1526 00:41:38,248 --> 00:41:41,585 Just put it in your shoe or some place safe. 1527 00:41:52,054 --> 00:41:52,095 DOOR CLOSES 1528 00:41:52,095 --> 00:41:53,597 DOOR CLOSES 1529 00:41:59,019 --> 00:41:59,061 Hot or not? 1530 00:41:59,061 --> 00:42:00,812 Hot or not? 1531 00:42:00,812 --> 00:42:00,854 It's hot. 1532 00:42:00,854 --> 00:42:02,564 It's hot. 1533 00:42:05,275 --> 00:42:05,317 Now, that's what I call resounding approval. 1534 00:42:05,317 --> 00:42:08,237 Now, that's what I call resounding approval. 1535 00:42:12,074 --> 00:42:12,115 By the way, we sold out every last copy of the marriage issue. 1536 00:42:12,115 --> 00:42:15,369 By the way, we sold out every last copy of the marriage issue. 1537 00:42:15,369 --> 00:42:15,410 And we got orders for over 300 more. 1538 00:42:15,410 --> 00:42:17,996 And we got orders for over 300 more. 1539 00:42:20,374 --> 00:42:20,415 Well, if not having any balls 1540 00:42:20,415 --> 00:42:22,918 Well, if not having any balls 1541 00:42:22,918 --> 00:42:22,960 is what it takes to be a gay superhero these days, 1542 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,838 is what it takes to be a gay superhero these days, 1543 00:42:25,838 --> 00:42:25,879 I'd warn Rage to get the hell out of Gayopolis. 1544 00:42:25,879 --> 00:42:29,424 I'd warn Rage to get the hell out of Gayopolis. 1545 00:42:31,218 --> 00:42:31,260 You know, if you didn't stay out all night, fucking, 1546 00:42:31,260 --> 00:42:33,512 You know, if you didn't stay out all night, fucking, 1547 00:42:33,512 --> 00:42:33,554 maybe you wouldn't be so cranky. 1548 00:42:33,554 --> 00:42:35,639 maybe you wouldn't be so cranky. 1549 00:42:35,639 --> 00:42:35,681 Who said I was fucking? 1550 00:42:35,681 --> 00:42:37,182 Who said I was fucking? 1551 00:42:37,182 --> 00:42:37,224 You?! I'm sure there must have been someone. 1552 00:42:37,224 --> 00:42:40,602 You?! I'm sure there must have been someone. 1553 00:42:43,105 --> 00:42:43,146 Yeah. And somebody else got him. 1554 00:42:43,146 --> 00:42:46,358 Yeah. And somebody else got him. 1555 00:42:46,358 --> 00:42:46,400 Finally, some competition. 1556 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,986 Finally, some competition. 1557 00:42:57,995 --> 00:42:58,036 I don't think you get it. 1558 00:42:58,036 --> 00:42:59,830 I don't think you get it. 1559 00:42:59,830 --> 00:42:59,872 What, that someone rejected you? 1560 00:42:59,872 --> 00:43:02,499 What, that someone rejected you? 1561 00:43:04,042 --> 00:43:04,084 Got the prime piece of meat? It happens to everyone. 1562 00:43:04,084 --> 00:43:08,172 Got the prime piece of meat? It happens to everyone. 1563 00:43:09,923 --> 00:43:09,965 One little gesture. 1564 00:43:09,965 --> 00:43:12,551 One little gesture. 1565 00:43:12,551 --> 00:43:12,593 Easily overlooked. 1566 00:43:12,593 --> 00:43:14,595 Easily overlooked. 1567 00:43:16,305 --> 00:43:16,346 (Groans) 1568 00:43:16,346 --> 00:43:18,223 (Groans) 1569 00:43:18,223 --> 00:43:18,265 But the meaning is clear. It's started. 1570 00:43:18,265 --> 00:43:20,559 But the meaning is clear. It's started. 1571 00:43:24,563 --> 00:43:24,605 It's begun. 1572 00:43:24,605 --> 00:43:26,440 It's begun. 1573 00:43:32,237 --> 00:43:32,279 COATHANGERS CLATTER 1574 00:43:32,279 --> 00:43:35,365 COATHANGERS CLATTER 1575 00:43:38,952 --> 00:43:38,994 Ah! (Clears throat) 1576 00:43:38,994 --> 00:43:40,662 Ah! (Clears throat) 1577 00:43:43,290 --> 00:43:43,332 How about this one? 1578 00:43:43,332 --> 00:43:45,292 How about this one? 1579 00:43:54,384 --> 00:43:54,426 (Sighs) 1580 00:43:54,426 --> 00:43:56,345 (Sighs) 1581 00:43:56,345 --> 00:43:56,386 You know, when I was in L.A., fucking around, it was fun and all. 1582 00:43:56,386 --> 00:44:01,183 You know, when I was in L.A., fucking around, it was fun and all. 1583 00:44:01,183 --> 00:44:01,225 But when I came back here 1584 00:44:01,225 --> 00:44:03,852 But when I came back here 1585 00:44:03,852 --> 00:44:03,894 and you said the offer still stands and to put my stuff in the drawer... 1586 00:44:03,894 --> 00:44:08,023 and you said the offer still stands and to put my stuff in the drawer... 1587 00:44:10,943 --> 00:44:10,984 ..I was hoping it meant we were finally going to be a real couple. 1588 00:44:10,984 --> 00:44:16,073 ..I was hoping it meant we were finally going to be a real couple. 1589 00:44:18,534 --> 00:44:18,575 Like Michael and Ben. 1590 00:44:18,575 --> 00:44:20,160 Like Michael and Ben. 1591 00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:20,202 One day we might have the things they have. 1592 00:44:20,202 --> 00:44:23,413 One day we might have the things they have. 1593 00:44:24,706 --> 00:44:24,748 A house. 1594 00:44:24,748 --> 00:44:26,625 A house. 1595 00:44:27,876 --> 00:44:27,918 Maybe even a family. 1596 00:44:27,918 --> 00:44:30,379 Maybe even a family. 1597 00:44:42,349 --> 00:44:42,391 How's this? 1598 00:44:42,391 --> 00:44:44,017 How's this? 1599 00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:05,122 "Hot." 1600 00:45:05,122 --> 00:45:06,874 "Hot." 1601 00:45:10,169 --> 00:45:10,210 'GOING NOWHERE' BY CUT COPY PLAYS 1602 00:45:10,210 --> 00:45:13,839 'GOING NOWHERE' BY CUT COPY PLAYS 1603 00:45:19,136 --> 00:45:19,219 1604 00:45:19,219 --> 00:45:24,308