0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,592 - Will you marry me? - No. 1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:05,757 Henry was just saying, he wanted a threesome. And there you are! 2 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:10,555 I think there's got to be one more cock! Out there! 3 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:12,477 You're 46 years old, he is never going to have sex with you. 4 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:14,988 He is never, ever going to have sex with you, never! 5 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:18,077 They're suspending you, with immediate effect, without pay. 6 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,160 Why don't you ask him out? 7 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:23,159 It's all been a bit mental. I sort of got lost. 8 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,758 I've met someone. 9 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,392 - Don't you touch me! - Argh! 10 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,874 Daniel Coltrane has instructed a new defence team. 11 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,990 - He's now claiming provocation. - Gay panic. 12 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,474 - It's not my fault that he's dead. - So you keep saying. 13 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:34,635 How is it my fault? 14 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:37,433 It's not my fault! So you... piss off! 15 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:38,913 I think you should ring the bell while I'm here. 16 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,359 It's my house. 17 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,039 - Morning, boys. - Hey, where are you going? Hey! 18 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,433 What are you doing? Who are you? 19 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,680 You are all required to leave this building immediately. 20 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,312 Welcome home, sweetheart! 21 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,192 Hello, mate, just... Can you follow that cab? 22 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,390 Morning. Don't step on me, Mr Best. 23 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,112 Oh, hi. 24 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,628 Shut up. 25 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,115 Knock-knock. 26 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,549 Oh, my God. 27 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:13,513 Fuck me, Henry, your sister knows some tricks. I'm raw. 28 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:14,834 Where are the kids? 29 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,950 They got ripped off their tits and they're sitting on the roof. 30 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:21,073 Where d'you think they are? Bobby came and took them home about midnight. 31 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:22,599 And you kissed him. 32 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:25,279 Now fuck off and get me a coffee. 33 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,276 Oh... 34 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:36,833 What time did you go to bed? 35 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,314 - We didn't! - Haven't done this for years. 36 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,749 I'm ruined, but I don't care, I did it, I stayed up! 37 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,271 Oh, something smells nice. 38 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,072 - It does, doesn't it? - Tell them to hurry up. 39 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,192 - Thanks for the party. - Yeah, gotta go, bye. 40 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,559 - Morning, my people. - Morning! 41 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,670 I blame you! It's your fault. 42 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,156 I went out early, I got bacon and eggs, and halloumi for the lesbians. 43 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,158 And I stocked up the fridge to welcome you home, you bastard. 44 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,749 - Nelly, put some pants on. - It's somewhere to park your bike. 45 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,392 That's not what you called it last night. 46 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:09,873 Henry, how d'you take your coffee? 47 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,912 Just milk, thanks. What d'you mean, last night? Did you two? 48 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,509 - Maybe. - Maybe... all fucking night. 49 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,313 Oh, my God, at last! That took 20 years! 50 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,793 Congratulations. 51 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,038 Morning. 52 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,195 Hi there. 53 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,753 Yes, we did. 54 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:31,673 Why not me? 55 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:32,789 Why not me?! 56 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,239 Here you go. 57 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:38,238 That was fantastic, last night. You're a life-saver. 58 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:41,033 - So, what are you going to do now? - God knows. I'm a jinx. 59 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,433 The last flat I had got flooded. 60 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,471 The one before that was being used by gun-runners. 61 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,034 Yeah, I'm not kidding. Like, actual guns. 62 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,514 Er... so I dread to think what's next. 63 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,074 What about you, Freddie? Where are you going to go? 64 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,749 Dunno, I was gonna go to Saul's, but now I've had him, so... 65 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,519 I could always stay at Jude's, but I've slept with her too. 66 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,915 Well, if you need a place where you haven't shagged the landlord, 67 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,518 you could always live here. 68 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,710 And you. All of us. 69 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:08,150 Why not? Seriously. Why don't you stay? 70 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,636 We've got three bedrooms, but that's five if we clear out the den and my office. 71 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,750 We could put beds in. There's two bathrooms. 72 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,190 We can designate one for men, one for women, what do you think? 73 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,151 And... this would be rent free. 74 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:22,996 OK! 75 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,190 - That's a deal, you're on! - I'll stay till I'm 56! 76 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,674 Henry, how can you afford that? 77 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,073 Oi! One thing at a time. 78 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,157 But you want to buy a flat, you could save up if you lived here. 79 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:36,239 You two, we're five minutes away from Palatine Road, it's perfect. 80 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:37,395 Freddie, you're on seven quid an hour, 81 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,273 Dean, you're on even less, this would save you a fortune. 82 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:41,753 - What about bills? - All on me. 83 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,153 I know. Trust me! 84 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,351 But think about it - we could have our own little world. 85 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,915 Not a commune, but a collective. 86 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:55,956 A great big collective of gay, bi, trans, queer... 87 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,513 - Welsh. - Not the Welsh. 88 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,232 Seriously, though, 89 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,430 Henry, who's gonna pay for all this? 90 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,755 I'll go back to work! Cos I'm gonna get my job back. 91 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,678 With the help of the collective. Which means you... 92 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:07,835 and you. 93 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,517 And this is my representative, Mr Costello. Cliff, Mr Pablo. 94 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:44,030 And this is Mr Baxter, he's employed within your catering facilities. 95 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:45,957 I've brought him here today as the official spokesman 96 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,753 for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Other Collective. 97 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:53,793 Right, that's, um... fine. I wasn't aware that... 98 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,229 Not that that's a problem, but... can I ask why? 99 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:01,675 At my request, Mr Costello has discovered that... 100 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,109 Including my client, Mr Best, you have suspended 101 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,835 17 members of staff from 2010 to the present day. 102 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:11,475 Can I ask, how many of them were gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered or other? 103 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,836 Now, as you know, I'm not in a position to say. 104 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,633 An employee's sexuality is entirely private, but... 105 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,673 are you claiming that our treatment of you was based on your sexual orientation? 106 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,792 - Well, is it? - Not at all. Not in any way. 107 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,877 So, if we use the tribunal to ask those 17 about their sexuality, 108 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,319 what do you think we'll find? 109 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,555 I wasn't aware that we were having a tribunal, but... 110 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,194 are you saying you're the only homosexual we've suspended? 111 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,719 Well, am I? 112 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:41,909 Can I point out - 113 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,838 if you were the only homosexual, out of 17, 114 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,996 that would prove we're not biased. 115 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,712 So, all those others are straight? 116 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,398 I'm not saying that at all. 117 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,431 It's perfectly possible that there are more... 118 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,516 ...gay or lesbian... 119 00:07:55,560 --> 00:08:00,588 bisexual, trans or... other members of staff amongst the 17. 120 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,153 So, you're saying there are others? 121 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,350 - No, that's not what I'm saying. - Then what is it? 122 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,517 Are you saying they're all gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgendered 123 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,437 - or other? - Well, no, they couldn't be. 124 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:11,833 - Oh. - Ouch! 125 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,438 - Why couldn't they be? - I mean, they wouldn't be. 126 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,152 - Why wouldn't they? - It's not likely. 127 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,792 - Why not? - 17 of them? 128 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:17,955 Why not? 129 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,116 It's just... not, is it? 130 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,754 It seems to me that you have, clearly, on the record, just now, 131 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,394 speculated about the sexuality of your workforce, out loud, 132 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,876 so any further conversation is moot. 133 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,279 Mr Costello? 134 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:38,596 Mr Pablo, on behalf of Mr Best, I look forward to the tribunal, 135 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,394 because the law is magnificent in this regard. 136 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,032 It's not up to us to prove homophobia, 137 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:47,117 it's up to you to prove homophobia does not exist. 138 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,593 Best of luck. Thank you. 139 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,277 Unless... 140 00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,519 Eh? Eh? 141 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,710 Oh! We did it! We did it! 142 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:02,988 We did it! 143 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,473 Immediate return to work! 144 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,033 I stared him down! 145 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,230 Reinstated, plus an apology, 146 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,635 and I'm gonna ask for a promotion. 147 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,035 - Well? - That's brilliant. 148 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,958 - Well done. - I've made a big bowl of couscous. 149 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,150 What is it? What's wrong? 150 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,078 - Dean's got some news. - We found him. 151 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,838 Found who? 152 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,111 The boy. Cos all those rumours I was talking about, they turned out to be true. 153 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,759 And we've found him. 154 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,071 Now we just need to be sure. 155 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,395 Don't worry. We're all friends. 156 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:40,000 We just need to be absolutely certain of the facts. 157 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,268 So... 158 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:43,909 ...this is the man? 159 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,351 Yeah, that's him. 160 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,400 Definitely? 161 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,908 - Yeah. - So what happened? 162 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,916 It's like I told him. 163 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,951 It was about a few months ago and... 164 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,992 I went down to the New Union and he was there. 165 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,196 - He's the murderer, isn't he? - Yes, he is. 166 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:07,711 - OK. Just tell us about him. - Well, I kind of copped off with him. 167 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:11,594 I mean, we went for a walk and he was a bit weird, 168 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,108 talking about sunlight, all this stuff about the sun. 169 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,116 And we walked down Canal Street, 170 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,674 and we kind of stopped in a doorway, and we snogged, you know? 171 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,598 And then all of a sudden, he just walked off. 172 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,029 - I was like, ' "Fuck you, then.'" - And he did this with others? 173 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:28,710 Yeah, this lad from Hobby's, same thing, snogged him, ran off. 174 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,079 Can you find him, this lad? 175 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,120 Yeah, I know him. 176 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,472 Well, that's good. But you've got to talk to the police, both of you. 177 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,192 I don't see why. 178 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,510 - They've arrested him, haven't they? - They did, but... 179 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,917 His defence is saying that on the night he killed Lance, 180 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,439 he lashed out and panicked 181 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,233 because it was the first time he'd ever been with a gay man. 182 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,748 - Well, that's not true. - Exactly! 183 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,360 I'll take you to the police. I'll help you, 184 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,550 I'll... I'll... I'll stay with you. I... 185 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:58,794 Is that all right? 186 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,152 Will you do it? 187 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,235 OK. 188 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,517 Uh... 189 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:29,629 Thanks. 190 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,713 We did it. 191 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:37,960 The Collective. 192 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,640 The Collective. 193 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,474 This is Adam Whitaker... 194 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,158 And my name's Tomasz Tobiasz! 195 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,590 And this is a world exclusive, we're live-vlogging from... 196 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,198 The Collective! 197 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,031 Right, I'm off for a wank. 198 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,308 Cliff! 199 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:04,509 I really am. 200 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,312 Oh... 201 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,956 D'you know what I hate about you lot? 202 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,037 You make me sound like the voice of reason. 203 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,992 Well, for your information, Maureen's getting me 204 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,554 three Es for this weekend, the kids are staying with Bobby, 205 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,910 I've got Val and Lucinda coming round, and we're getting off our faces. 206 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,598 Don't phone me till Monday night. 207 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,753 Although, on past experience, we'll chicken out 208 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,314 and settle for white wine instead, but there you go. 209 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,032 It's the thought that counts. 210 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,590 Oh, it's nice though, isn't it, this? 211 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,159 While it lasts. 212 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,633 Well, yeah. 213 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,716 But we've got quite a little rota going. 214 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,751 It works, the Collective. 215 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:46,915 I think. 216 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,793 And they all chip in for bills and shopping now. 217 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,598 All the same... it takes a long time. 218 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,319 What does? 219 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,793 Grieving. 220 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,634 But that's OK. I'll still be here in the end. 221 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,670 Hi. This is so good of you. 222 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,712 Sorry, least I could do, really. 223 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,158 It's not much, it's just his desk and stuff. 224 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,270 I just couldn't bear to throw it away. 225 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,636 Come on through. 226 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,599 We'll go in the garden, yeah? 227 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,630 All right! Keep it down a bit. 228 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,879 Boys. D'you remember Veronica? She worked with Lance? 229 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,353 We're doing hot dogs, if you're hungry. 230 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,516 Although the point is to see Saul eating one. 231 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,915 - Slowly. - You fucking perverts. 232 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,916 - Hey, what about me? - You can swallow it whole! 233 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,313 Yeah, and I could! 234 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,157 Great throat action. 235 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,039 You're busy, I'll... 236 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,957 We're a collective. 237 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,636 Come on, Saul, I've greased it up. 238 00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:01,358 Um... I can't tell, it might be junk, but, you know, I thought I'd let you decide. 239 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,311 There's a load of old holiday brochures for France, 240 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,191 but that was years ago now, they're old. 241 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:09,677 Yeah, we went driving round all the vineyards. Five years ago, six? 242 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:13,076 I went to Paris with the school. Trés bien. 243 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,156 Oh, my God, that's nice! 244 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,839 Yeah, he didn't keep that on his desk, it was in his drawer. 245 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,233 To be honest... 246 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,033 if you pissed him off, he'd open the drawer and say, ' "Eff off, Henry! '" 247 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,354 I bet he did. 248 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,674 He was nice looking, wasn't he? 249 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,109 He was, yeah. 250 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:29,715 Um, and things like this. 251 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:33,833 We've all got one of these, they sent them up from Plymouth, 252 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,758 I don't know if you want to keep it, or... 253 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:37,915 Excuse me? 254 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:41,748 Boys? If you're going to do that, could you go inside? 255 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,234 - Do what? - Toss each other off. 256 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:48,068 OK, Freddie, could you both, er? 257 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:49,951 Sorry. 258 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,992 He's fit. I can see why you chased after him. 259 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,031 Except Lance ended up getting slaughtered. 260 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,872 Right, I didn't... Um. 261 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,118 I'm not sure that's fair. 262 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,116 You make it sound like it was my fault. 263 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,160 Well, you killed him. 264 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,474 I did not. 265 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,670 But... you did. I mean, everyone knows that. 266 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,188 He wouldn't be dead if it wasn't for you. 267 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,231 So, I killed him, did I? 268 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:15,713 Was that me? 269 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,796 Oh, seriously, was it me?! 270 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:21,276 Or was it Daniel Coltrane who picked up that club and bashed his head in? 271 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,072 Where was l in the room? 272 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:24,712 You were standing right there! 273 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:25,988 What? 274 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,031 What the fuck d'you sit here thinking, you lot? 275 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,798 It was practically yesterday! 276 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:30,829 Er, I don't think you're being fair. 277 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,235 Yeah, well, when you're not having a sly little tug and sipping red wine 278 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:37,034 at ten past twelve in the afternoon, you can have an opinion, mate, all right? 279 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,878 It was Henry's fault, wasn't it? 280 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,956 - L-I dunno. - Hey! 281 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,389 Sod it. I'd better go. 282 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,796 I'll leave you to your, er... your... your collective. 283 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,231 I remember the first time that I met you. 284 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,750 Cos I worked with Lance for all that time, and he was lovely to me, 285 00:16:56,800 --> 00:17:00,315 he was brilliant, and every single day he'd talk about you. 286 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,591 So I was expecting this really nice man. And in you walk. 287 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,995 - Toad of Toad Hall. - Oh, my God. 288 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,792 He loved you... 289 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,876 and you treated him like shit. 290 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,478 I said I wouldn't do this. 291 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,438 But think how scared he was. 292 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,836 He must have been terrified. 293 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,313 And he couldn't get out, 294 00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:22,909 he was trapped in that room, and there was no way of getting out. 295 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,712 Because you pushed him in there! 296 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,352 And then you locked the door! 297 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,951 Right, Mr B, I borrowed this, if you don't mind, and if you do, 298 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,230 it's too late, I'm going home, so thanks for everything, see ya. 299 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,589 - Hold on, where's he going? - Home. 300 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,073 What, proper home, to his mum? 301 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:50,395 - He told me, they threw him out. - Oh, don't be so stupid, 302 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,509 he was making all that up! 303 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,791 It's taken me months to persuade him, I just kept nagging! Bye! 304 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:58,150 Oh, my God... 305 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,108 - Good luck! - Shut up! 306 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,276 - Be nice to them! - Leave me alone! 307 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,153 Go on, Dean! Come on, my son! 308 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,269 Fuck off! 309 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,118 Deano! Deano! Deano! Deano! Deano! 310 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:13,197 Deano! Deano! Deano! Deano! Deano! 311 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,994 I'm gonna miss him. 312 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,195 The idiot. 313 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,157 Look, it's got a balcony, I can wave at the crowds. 314 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,112 The man who lived there dropped down dead. Food poisoning, they said. 315 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,799 Terrible way to go. But I sent the girls in, it's all clean now. 316 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,353 Lovely place to live. 317 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,628 It just means we can spread out, 318 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,035 and there's a nice room for Helen. It's closer to work, 319 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,718 it's 30 minutes on the bus from here. 320 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,910 And let's face it, this wasn't going to last for ever. 321 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:40,916 But you've been happy with us, haven't you? 322 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,520 Oh, it's been amazing, it's been absolutely brilliant. 323 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,199 Except... you know what gay men are like. 324 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,753 All those lesbian jokes. 325 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,280 - What did you say to them? - Nothing. 326 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,196 What did you say? 327 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,232 - Nothing! - What did you say about lesbians? 328 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,159 I said they have no allies in nature. Which is true! 329 00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,235 Thanks for everything! 330 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,999 We'll pay you back... one day! 331 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,117 - Good luck, Henry! - And you! 332 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,513 You know where we are! 333 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:17,920 Hi! Who's in? 334 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,838 Just you and me. They've gone, the girls. 335 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,871 Vanessa came and picked them up about two o'clock. 336 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,876 - Thought that was next week. - No, they said, remember? 337 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,717 They got the keys earlier than they thought. 338 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,308 OK. 339 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,670 Where's that Aiden of yours? 340 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,073 Dunno. 341 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:35,553 Nice lad. 342 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,750 No, I don't know and I don't care. 343 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,437 I, er... did your ironing. I put it on the bed. 344 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,956 I've discovered a thing for rucksacks. 345 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,560 You know when you're looking through safe-for-work stuff, 346 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,876 and every now and then you find a photo of a man with a rucksack? 347 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,037 It's the straps. On bare skin. 348 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:31,752 I had no idea. 349 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,712 It's a brand-new fetish, I don't even know where it came from. 350 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,633 Maybe I was molested by a hitchhiker when I was six. 351 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,000 I used to think Lance was stupid. 352 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,509 No offence. 353 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,393 That is a bit offensive. 354 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,351 I never liked Lance, he never liked me. 355 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,879 We were perfect equals. 356 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,831 But I thought, ' "He's an idiot.'" 357 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:54,316 Cos you had nine years with him, not fucking. 358 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:56,032 He wanted it, but you refused. 359 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,116 You steadfastly would not fuck. 360 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,280 I thought, ' "Why did Lance put up with it? '" 361 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,553 - He was a saint. - No, 362 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,158 it was you, Henry. 363 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,236 You're a genius. 364 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,909 Cos you've got this act. You're all wide-eyed and, ' "Gosh, me? '" 365 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,316 All kind of... ' "Oh, shucks! '" But none of that's true, is it? 366 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,554 Oh, give him a break. 367 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,431 There's nothing innocent about you. 368 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,629 You're so powerful, 369 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,398 - you bend the world around you. - Well, I wish! 370 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:25,069 Like me. You did it to me. Cos I told you, we would never fuck. 371 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,111 But then I offered you sex. 372 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,515 You manoeuvred me into that position, and then... 373 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:30,675 you turned me down! 374 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,438 - It was all part of the plan. - OK, 375 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,836 - can we leave this? - Cos you've made me perfect! 376 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,269 I'm the boy you will never fuck and never be fucked by - 377 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:39,912 that makes me Lance. 378 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,555 Oh, my God, I'm Lance! I'm the next Lance! 379 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,512 And I didn't even notice! You're so fucking clever! 380 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,233 You've moved me in. Here I am. 381 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,157 I live with you. We are together. 382 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,553 With no sex. 383 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,716 Because that is the world that Henry wants. 384 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,309 Filled with men, but not one of them penetrating you. 385 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,918 - You're a genius! - Christ, Freddie, what have you got 386 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,474 - stuck up your arse tonight? - You, if you're lucky. 387 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,831 It wasn't that simple. 388 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:14,632 Lance and I did all sorts of things. 389 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,316 Anyway, it's a shame he's not here to tell us himself. 390 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:29,033 He always loved this - Chinese. 391 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,599 - I phoned Steve this afternoon. - How is he? 392 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,312 Fine. He fixed the car. 393 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,072 Think I'll go to bed. 394 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,514 - Night, then. - Yeah, I'll just finish this. 395 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,116 OK. I'll stay up for a bit. 396 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:14,673 I can see myself out. Off you go. 397 00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:17,120 I'll lock up. 398 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,274 OK. 399 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,479 Right then. 400 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:29,953 I'll say good night. 401 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,039 See you. 402 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,274 Night. 403 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:00,997 Right, that's me done. 404 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:04,271 OK? I can tidy up, if you want. Won't take 10 minutes. 405 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,153 No harm in being polite, I suppose, just this once... 406 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,800 Oh, well, don't mind if I do. Where's this come from? 407 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,836 Oh, you little bastard. Come here... 408 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:14,915 No, no, no, no, no... 409 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,156 Now, I said no! 410 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,471 Well, d'you want it? 411 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,715 Well, come on then! 412 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:43,955 Oh... Oh! 413 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,116 Oh! Ohh! 414 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,278 Oh! Yeah! Fuck! 415 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:53,548 Fuck! 416 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:55,868 Fuck me! 417 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:07,875 What are you doing? 418 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:10,750 Out. 419 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,711 - Oh, no way! - That's enough. 420 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,832 Oh, not yet, you little fucker! Don't do this to me... 421 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,997 - See yourself out. - Two minutes! Two more minutes! 422 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,995 They've all gone, Meatballs. 423 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,632 I thought so. 424 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,558 I just brought the keys back. I fixed that decking. 425 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,079 Thank you. 426 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:11,160 See you, then. 427 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:13,440 Bye. 428 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,389 He didn't turn up for work, and Mr Jayasundera said, '"Right, that's it! 429 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:25,919 '"Three strikes and he's out, tell him he's sacked.'" 430 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,394 And he said it to me, like I'm Freddie's keeper, which I'm not, cos I don't know 431 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:31,079 where he is. Plus, it doesn't matter anyway, cos according to Billy Dunbar, 432 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,429 he knows this girl called Maxine who saw him in Chiswick. 433 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,392 Freddie, I mean. I tried texting him, but no reply. 434 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:37,714 Nor me. 435 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:39,671 - What's Chiswick like? - Nice, I think. 436 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:43,508 You see, I knew it, that's Freddie. Always lands on his feet. 437 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,118 D'you think he's gone for good? 438 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:46,479 Apparently, it's what he does. 439 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,158 I met someone clubbing once, who lived with him 440 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,909 down by the waterfront in Bristol. Did he ever mention Bristol to you? 441 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,394 - No. - You see? He comes and goes. 442 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:55,760 That's what he did with us, Mr B. 443 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,189 - He came and he went. - Yeah. 444 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:00,759 You were never gonna have him. 445 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:04,593 No. 446 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:05,914 Funny thing is... 447 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,633 that's what drove him away in the end. 448 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:09,999 How d'you mean? 449 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:12,715 Long story. 450 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:17,799 But I liked him. 451 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,035 I really did. 452 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,470 You don't have to fancy someone to like them. 453 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,112 - You're proof of that. - Racist! 454 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,077 - How's your mum and dad? - Fuck off. 455 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:11,834 I can't just sit there. 456 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:16,155 I know. 457 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:08,514 Oh... 458 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,392 Daniel Coltrane has today been found guilty of murder 459 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,113 by a jury at Manchester Crown Court. 460 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:23,517 Judge Timothy Clements said Coltrane showed no remorse 461 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:27,109 for the brutal killing of Lance Edward Sullivan 462 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,630 at his home in the Stretford area of Manchester... 463 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:36,958 Hello. 464 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:39,752 It's Francesco, isn't it? 465 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,677 Dave. 466 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:46,077 Right, sorry. But... you call yourself Francesco sometimes? 467 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:49,192 Yeah. I used to be in a band. 468 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,595 We met once. I was with my boyfriend. 469 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,757 We met in town, in the Village, we were in Babylon. 470 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:55,949 Nope. 471 00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:01,153 We copped off. And went back to ours for a threesome. 472 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,236 You'll have to narrow it down a bit. 473 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:05,994 You got arrested. 474 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,600 You're still gonna have to narrow it down. 475 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:13,395 Black guy? 476 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:15,749 - Yeah. - That's the one. 477 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,678 Yeah, he was all right, the big fella, you were a little fucker. 478 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:20,995 - You do remember! - When was that? 479 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,349 Oh, months ago, now. 480 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,868 Were you all right, in the end? With the police? 481 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:27,831 Yeah, yeah. Same old shit. 482 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:29,108 Can you lend me ten quid? 483 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,799 - Um... - It's just I've been stuck here, 484 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:35,037 and my mate, he promised me a lift and said he were gonna come back 485 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,674 and I've just been sat here for hours. 486 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,838 Shit, never mind. 487 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,757 They're all fucking liars. 488 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:45,360 Anyway... 489 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,000 ...just thought I'd say hello. 490 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:50,475 Better be going. 491 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,512 Hey, you two still together? 492 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,790 - Yes. - Well, say hello from me. 493 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:57,558 He's nice, the big guy. 494 00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:58,919 Yeah, he's lovely. 495 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:03,115 See you around. 496 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:04,798 Yeah. 497 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:24,633 Hello? 498 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,033 Hello? 499 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,310 Hello, could I speak to the owner of the house, please? 500 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,158 OK. For God's sake. D'you know what time it is? 501 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:32,838 Are you the owner of the house? 502 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:34,438 Who wants to know? 503 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,755 I need to speak to the owner of the house. 504 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,199 Yeah, well, fuck off! 505 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:41,198 You can fuck right off! All right? 506 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:45,233 I hope you fucking die, you fucking bastard! All right? 507 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,670 Now fuck off and fucking die! 508 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,597 Just fuck off! 509 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,030 Do you want to give it a good whack? You're not supposed to. 510 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,548 It's completely bad, yeah? 511 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,955 Right? I want you to run downstairs now. And check to see 512 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,752 if they'd open the lift, please. 513 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,791 All the way down. All the way down. All the way down. 514 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,637 Faster, faster, faster! Let's go. Let's go. 515 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,391 I remember, I went into work, on the Monday, and you were gone. 516 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,112 The whole building was in mourning, 517 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,232 cos everybody liked that blond boy who worked in the canteen. 518 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,150 Blimey. That was quite a few years ago now. 519 00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:52,438 Well, I can date it exactly. 520 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,596 It was the year that Lance was killed. 521 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:01,160 Long time ago. 522 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,399 I like that. Looks good. 523 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,318 I've kind of changed my mind now. 524 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:15,395 So where've you been, where did you go? 525 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,032 Why d'you want to know? 526 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,799 I dunno. We're friends. 527 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,114 We're not really. 528 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,151 We just knew each other once upon a time. 529 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:27,679 I looked. Online. 530 00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:29,073 Now and then. 531 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,792 You hardly ever post anything. 532 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,070 That's cos I keep getting followed. 533 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,270 And then I stopped after a while. 534 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:38,437 Last time I searched for your name, you were in Vancouver. 535 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:42,673 Yeah, that didn't last. 536 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,351 I came back to London for a while. 537 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:48,833 Then I went to Cornwall. 538 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,553 Ended up in Barcelona, cos of this girl. 539 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:52,874 Got married. 540 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:54,990 That turned to shit. 541 00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,440 So, what are you doing these days? 542 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:00,549 Things. 543 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,398 How are you doing there, Henry? Are we looking after you? 544 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,352 - Yes, all good, thanks. Hello. - How's the project? 545 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:07,310 What was that? 546 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:08,634 You had to do a project, 547 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,240 you worked late, you had to get it finished by the weekend? 548 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,077 Oh, the schedule, I did it, yes! 549 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,715 I won, I beat it! In the end. And, oh, this is Freddie. 550 00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,593 Nice to meet you, Freddie. I'll leave you boys to it. 551 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:24,356 He used to work in that coffee shop in the Northern Quarter, Tazo's, 552 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,597 d'you remember? Then he moved to Caffé Nero. Then to that Pret A Manger 553 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:29,995 on the corner of Oxford Road. Then he became manager here. 554 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,190 - Have you been following him? - No. 555 00:37:32,240 --> 00:37:35,869 Henry. Every time he moves coffee shop, do you follow him? 556 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:38,560 Yes. 557 00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,311 Oh, my God. Fucking hell. 558 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,030 You haven't changed a bit. 559 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:50,195 He's handsome, though, isn't he? 560 00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:52,674 - He's straight. - D'you think? 561 00:37:52,720 --> 00:37:54,358 Christ, have you never even asked? 562 00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:56,796 What's his name? 563 00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:58,273 Cezar. 564 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:00,794 Cezar? 565 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:04,037 Sorry, mate, just wondering, um, if you don't mind? Are you straight? 566 00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,799 - My girlfriend says so. - You fucking idiot. 567 00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:10,310 After all these years, you're still wasting your time. What's the point? 568 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:12,828 D'you know, Cleo said the other day, she said, '"Freddie Baxter was so rude, 569 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,155 '"what did you ever see in him? '" She said, '"I bet he's in prison.'" 570 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:16,428 Actually, I liked her. 571 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,832 She's got someone. She's going out with this man called Gopesh. 572 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:25,237 This is him. Don't criticise him, just be nice, I want niceness. 573 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,240 He's not good enough for her, but there you go. 574 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,589 D'you remember her son - Adam? And his vlogs? 575 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,280 He did those vlogs with his mate, Tomasz? 576 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:33,355 I fucked Tomasz. 577 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,595 Did you? When was that? 578 00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:37,517 What did you think was happening in your house? 579 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,710 Anyway, you'll like this. 580 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:42,718 They made 8,000 quid from that vlog. 581 00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,591 Next thing you know, Tomasz took the lot! 582 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,153 Stole it! Disappeared. 583 00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:48,031 He did a Freddie. 584 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,469 Then, six months ago, he turns up in Chicago. 585 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:54,798 Still vlogging, but now he's like this Republican shock-jock vlogger! 586 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,912 AIDS is like a filthy fag disease. 587 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:00,793 Two million followers! We're gonna get him, the little fuck. 588 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,195 - We've got things he never broadcast. - What happened to Adam? 589 00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:06,471 University, just graduated. He went to Edinburgh, did Politics. 590 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,192 Please don't say you fucked him too. 591 00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:10,390 Not that I can remember. 592 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:11,998 I bet he's straight now, isn't he? 593 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:13,917 Oh, yeah. 594 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,838 Hi! This is Jocasta! 595 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,871 I always said he'd end up married with kids. 596 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,639 He's gonna look back on that summer when he slept with his best friend 597 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,193 like a party you can hardly remember. 598 00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:25,754 - Dean's still around. - I bet he is! 599 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,792 I think I worry about him more than anyone. 600 00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:30,717 God knows, he'll get into trouble one day. 601 00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,957 I saw him a while back, sailing by with these... gangsters. 602 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,674 And Scotty - d'you remember his little mate from work? 603 00:39:43,720 --> 00:39:44,720 I still see her. 604 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:47,319 The girls stepped in to help. 605 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,396 Turns out she was looking after her mother single-handed. 606 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,591 If I lose my mum, April, what else am I going to have? 607 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,995 - I knew that. - She never told anyone. 608 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:56,075 I knew. 609 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:59,351 They had this big intervention. Made her admit she needed help. 610 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:01,994 I don't want to complain or no-one to feel sorry for me. 611 00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:03,189 Come on, sweetheart. 612 00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:05,595 Waterproof mascara, do you? 613 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:07,119 You've learnt nothing! 614 00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,310 So... she's OK. 615 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,396 They pop round now and then, all of them. 616 00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,431 She gets all of that on her plate, and I know what you'll do. 617 00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,711 We have ' "Collective'" nights, once or twice a year. We toast you. 618 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:19,599 We have a nice old time. 619 00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,358 Proper little gang. 620 00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:25,199 He got 13 years. 621 00:40:25,240 --> 00:40:26,389 For murder. Did you see? 622 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:29,678 - I saw, yeah. - Sentenced to life 623 00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:32,075 with a minimum of 13 years - that was a good day. 624 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:33,951 I heard. I followed it. 625 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:37,756 I meant to write to you. 626 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:38,994 You should've. 627 00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:41,475 Yeah. 628 00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,757 I still want to turn on the news and hear that some bastard's 629 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,836 gone into his cell and smashed his face in with a hammer 630 00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:50,236 for an hour till he's this pulp. A talking pulp. 631 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,078 Every day I think about that. It never fades. 632 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,760 I keep waiting for the day when it's less and it never, ever comes. 633 00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:01,198 I meant to say... when I left that night... 634 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,032 ...I said those things. You... 635 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,752 Actually, I think you were right. 636 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:10,800 Every word. 637 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:13,720 Who was Christopher? 638 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,637 Why? 639 00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:16,908 Cos I want to know. 640 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:18,518 He's your brother, is that right? 641 00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:20,760 Yeah. 642 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:23,997 There just seemed to be... I don't know, some big secret. 643 00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:26,959 No, he's just a bastard. 644 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,029 Simple as that. 645 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:35,039 He's older than me, and ever since I can remember, he's been trouble. 646 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,310 I mean, brought home by police. 647 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,999 Turning up in Amsterdam, with no money. 648 00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:42,110 He's always in debt. Lying about it. 649 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:43,752 He gets Mum and Dad dancing round. 650 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,075 When he was a kid they said he had ADHD, 651 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,509 then they said he was schizophrenic, then they said he had PD, 652 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,391 but I know what it was. 653 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:51,634 He's a cunt. 654 00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,594 That's the diagnosis - cunt. 655 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,393 He even said he was gay once. Just to upstage me. 656 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,840 He did it properly, he brought this boy home for the weekend, 657 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,269 he took him upstairs and fucked him so that everyone could hear. 658 00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:05,151 Aimed at me. All of it aimed at me. 659 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:08,029 Like he was robbing me. 660 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:14,233 That's Christopher. 661 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:15,838 OK? 662 00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,674 I was always waiting for your big secret. 663 00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:21,869 What d'you mean? 664 00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:23,273 Because of your arse. 665 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:26,118 I thought, one day, he's gonna say he was abused. 666 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,151 Or scarred. Or a eunuch. 667 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,152 Nope. No secrets. 668 00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:32,349 Have you done it yet? 669 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,758 - It's a work-in-progress. - Oh, my God! 670 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,392 Have you done it? Have... Have you been fucked? 671 00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:40,668 Or did you fuck? What have you done? 672 00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:42,039 I'm sorry, but it still hurts. 673 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,389 - Then you're doing it wrong! - Oh, tell me something new! 674 00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:46,749 Nothing changes! 675 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,473 I met this bloke called... Bruce. 676 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:52,432 Well, that's cutting out a few stages, there was a Jim... 677 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:54,876 ...and Kofi... 678 00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:57,880 ...and then a Frank. 679 00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,514 Now, I know, that was a good photo! 680 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:02,118 Eventually, I got to Bruce. 681 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:05,148 And yes. He is... 682 00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:07,280 ...very patient. 683 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,399 Ow, ow, ow... No! 684 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,557 But the point is, he knows. I told him. 685 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,830 Like I did with Lance all those years ago. 686 00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,036 So things did change, in the end. 687 00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:22,231 It just took such a long time. 688 00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:23,633 Have you fucked him? 689 00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:26,513 Kind of. 690 00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:28,676 It just takes so much concentration! 691 00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:31,314 And the fact that you're concentrating means you lose it! 692 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:34,830 Is there anything more difficult than wrangling a hard-on? 693 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,233 That's it, that's it! 694 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:37,349 I know. 695 00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,229 - Keep going. - Yes! I know! 696 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,229 You know what to do - just close your eyes and think of me. 697 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:49,395 Oh, I've done that! 698 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:53,709 Henry! 699 00:43:55,240 --> 00:43:57,310 I fuck you. I fuck Cezar. 700 00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:03,673 I fuck... 701 00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:06,639 Really?! 702 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:17,919 Well... like I said. 703 00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:19,473 Work-in-progress. 704 00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,033 That's good, though. 705 00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,275 - Is it? - Well, yeah. Isn't it? 706 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:27,591 I suppose, but... I don't know. 707 00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:29,119 I still think... 708 00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:37,832 I never did get away. 709 00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:41,759 I used to talk about travelling. Just to have some time off, by myself, 710 00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:43,597 so I can think about it properly. 711 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,312 Think about what? Lance? 712 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,432 No, I don't mean Lance. Or you. Or any of that. 713 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:51,828 What d'you mean? 714 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:53,960 I just thought... 715 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:58,511 Oh, my God. All this time has passed 716 00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,240 and I still haven't done anything about it! 717 00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:06,316 I need to spend six months just walking on a beach. 718 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,280 I should do it now, I should take a sabbatical, I could go abroad. 719 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,268 All on my own. 720 00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,599 Or maybe I could just stay at home. That could work. 721 00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:19,997 I just need time to sit and think. 722 00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:22,109 That's all I need. 723 00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:25,708 Lots of time, to sit and think. 724 00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:28,600 And then I might come to terms with it. 725 00:45:29,720 --> 00:45:31,358 With what? 726 00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:32,992 Being gay.