1 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:14,240 It's a Target return ! Back off ! 2 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:15,560 Target's the other way, Miss. 3 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,360 Thank you for mansplaining that to me. 4 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:21,000 Why don't you tell me where everything in this whole fucking mall is, okay ?! 5 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:23,400 God, why do you hate lesbians ?! 6 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,920 - Go away, fascist ! - It's me ! 7 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,520 - Thank you for coming. - Bitch I love you. 8 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,680 I love you so much. 9 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,320 I'm okay. I swallowed it back. 10 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:42,920 I'm not okay. 11 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,920 Don't you fuckin' dare ! 12 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,800 I'm not going to. I'm definitely not going to. 13 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:51,840 I just wish you hadn't made me eat that Hot Dog on a Stick. 14 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,440 Fill the tub ! 15 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:56,640 How did you not know ? 16 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,960 There's literally five seasons of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. 17 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,520 One woman actually gives birth in her pants. 18 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,360 But weren't you having your period ? 19 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,320 My period's always weird and I thought I was gassy 20 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,760 and WebMD said it was bok choy or colon cancer ! I'm like, 21 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,240 fuck WebMD ! It always stresses you out, I'm fine. 22 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:16,200 In a way it's funny cuz I did think you were looking kinda thick. 23 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,680 - Wait, thick in a good way ? - I mean the tits for sure. 24 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:23,080 But you didn't tell me ? I don't know whether to be mad or okay about this. 25 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,520 You're my sister. I love you. 26 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,200 - Is 911 for sure off the table ? - Yes ! 27 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:33,880 And your parents do seem cool, you definitely don't want to tell them ? 28 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:37,200 Your parents seem cool too, would you tell them ? 29 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,200 This is not working ! 30 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:45,080 And no way am I paying ten cents for these. 31 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,600 Reparations ! 32 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,320 - Wait ! - I can't ! It's coming out ! 33 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,320 No ! Who the fuck is the father ? 34 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,560 GENERATION 35 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,720 TEN WEEKS EARLIER 36 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,320 "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else ?" 37 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:06,480 I do not hear you practicing your toast for tonight ! 38 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,200 And you're welcome for the edits by the way. 39 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,200 That Russia joke would not have played. Not with Aunt Katyushka coming. 40 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,280 Okay niños, vámonos. 41 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,520 I have no idea what's been going on for the past two weeks 42 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,960 but from what I can gather, you aree very angry with your brother 43 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,600 for a medical condition that was out of his control. 44 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:34,040 His "pink eye" was not out of his control. 45 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,720 Excuse me. I volunteered in a Botswanan orphanage. 46 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,840 I think I know a little bit more about medical contagiousness than you do. 47 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:44,640 This weekend is about your sister and her wedding. 48 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,520 So whatever's happening between you, this silence, this little 49 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:54,520 "secret life of teenagers hoo-ha" ends now. I'm serious. 50 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,880 The drama is finito y terminato. Capeesh ? 51 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,960 Some guy from the other team keeps staring at you. 52 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,560 Yeah. We hooked up but he was a jerk, 53 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:15,520 so I went home and signed him up for the Scientology mailing list. 54 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,520 Oh my God ! 55 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,520 Chester's still being weird. Did you ask him if he was mad at me ? 56 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,760 No. I'm not doing that. 57 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,720 The lockdown was stressful, he doesn't even remember you getting upset. 58 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,280 You need to relax. You're too paranoid. 59 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,360 No, I know. I'm paranoid about everything. 60 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,200 But also with reason. Naomi was already kind of a bitch, 61 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,360 now this whole Jack thing has just crystallized her evilness. 62 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,920 She's not going to tell anyone about Jack. Or about you being bi. 63 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,640 - You should go say hi. - You go first. 64 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,080 Come on ! 65 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,240 - Hey ! - Hey. Thanks for coming ! 66 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,960 Thanks for having us ! 67 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,080 I wanna show you these photos I took. 68 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,480 - Aw sick ! - I know right ? 69 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,680 Oh, my God, I am gagged. 70 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,080 - Was Sam here before ? - I don't know. 71 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,240 Wait. Look at this. 72 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,400 - I love ! - Yeah, it's so good. 73 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:22,520 They all hate touching them, let alone sucking on them. It's hard to argue. 74 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:26,360 - I mean, do gay guys like balls ? - I mean... 75 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,520 I can't really speak for all of them. I don't. 76 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,840 Cool, man. 77 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,280 Sweet ! 78 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,600 Bro, I say let's get fucked up and watch the "Fast and Furious" movies. 79 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:39,760 - I fucking hate those movies. - All nine of them. Come on. 80 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,560 Don't act like you don't love them. 81 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,560 Yeah, man, I don't want to, like, have that in my face. 82 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,720 Let's get fucked up and, like, go on the Matterhorn. You down with that ? 83 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,400 - Oh, you want to ? - Yeah, I'm in. 84 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:59,280 If Steve's going, then I'm down. Don't get the white ball. 85 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,800 Wanna do something later ? 86 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:03,960 Yes. 87 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,160 I have an idea. 88 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,040 She's just not a pleasant person. 89 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,680 La Reina is such a bruja to her husband. 90 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,120 Could you put the phone down please ? Thank you. 91 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:33,520 He's going to leave her. Probably for the sister, La Loca - oh she's so fun ! 92 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,280 And the curtains in the castle ! 93 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,160 Listen... Has Ana been cleaning ? 94 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,040 You understand I can hear you even if I can't see you. 95 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:47,240 - This is how technology works. - No, I mean it. 96 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,840 When the light was coming in, it looked like there was dust. 97 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,720 Oh that. No, that's the cocaine we snort. 98 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:56,000 You shouldn't be talking like that in front of Greta. 99 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:57,400 Stop it ! 100 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,360 Honestly, it's not cool. You'll give me a heart attack. 101 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,480 Do you wanna get high and hang out w some fish ? 102 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,120 You should be an example, Ana. 103 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,160 I have to go, Mami. I have homework. Bye. Kisses. 104 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,480 - What kind of hang ? - I don't know. 105 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:16,160 Friend hang, date hang, hang hang ? 106 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,080 It's probably nothing. I don't know. 107 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,160 How do you know ? 108 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:24,760 She did say "fish." 109 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,800 - No. Ew God. No. - We're getting you ready. 110 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,640 I don't want it to look like I think it's something. It's probably nothing. 111 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,200 No. Stop. Expect nothing, get nothing. 112 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,200 What is this wallflower wallpaper shit ? 113 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:40,000 No, we are re-decorating, we are giving zero fucks. 114 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,960 You are dressing like you want to be seen. Let's go. 115 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,880 - Hey ! - Greta ! 116 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,800 "Zero fucks." 117 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,720 - Hi Uncle Luke and Aunt Bethuel. - Look at you ! 118 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,880 - And your matching outfits ! - Welcome to the Flying Seaman ! 119 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,400 Natalia and Jordan and all of us 120 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,720 are so happy you could join us for their rehearsal dinner ! 121 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:55,160 That's your mother, isn't it ? Judas Priest, what a woman ! 122 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,840 I said I was sorry. 123 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,520 Also, you hadn't even touched his dick, so you weren't even that serious. 124 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,520 Hi Uncle Steve and Aunt Katyushka ! Welcome to the Flying Seaman ! 125 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:03,800 Natalia and Jordan and all of us 126 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,760 are so happy you could join us for their rehearsal dinner ! 127 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:09,320 It is so good to see you ! And it's safe to hug Nathan. 128 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,400 I don't know if you heard, but that thing with his eye was not pinkeye, 129 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,720 so you definitely won't get infected ! Turns out it was just an irritant. 130 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:20,120 Not "just an irritant". A really huge glob of irritant. 131 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,160 But boys will be boys, right ? 132 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:27,160 I'm glad you're feeling better. I am so excited for tonight ! 133 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,400 Also, I have been so nice to you. 134 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,680 I didn't even tell mom when you put nail polish remover in my Cetaphil. 135 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,280 Welcome to the Flying Seaman ! 136 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:39,120 That can never happen again. 137 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,080 There you are ! 138 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,240 I mean, Wonder Woman ! 139 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,200 Gal Gadot and Lynda Carter are feeling very threatened right now ! 140 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:51,080 I did nothing, 1-800-Party-Planner. 141 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:55,000 I'm just so happy for Natalia. Have you seen her yet ? 142 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,840 She's a Vogue cover. 143 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,600 Three people have already commented how much we look alike. 144 00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:04,640 I said, you don't have to flatter me, the sushi's already free. 145 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:05,840 I mean, for us. 146 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,440 Two hundred dollars per person. Do not say a word to Mark ! 147 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,520 But really, is she not Vogue ? 148 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:18,440 - You're literally sisters. - No, no. I'm a weathered old hag ! 149 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:25,040 I'm so happy. I feel like I'm getting married. 150 00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:28,840 Have you seen Jordan's shoe size ? 151 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,520 I have a feeling Natalia is going to be one very lucky girl ! 152 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,880 Hi. This is Chester and Greta. This is Pablo. 153 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,360 Hi, Pablo. 154 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,360 - So how's Fairmont ? - Shitty. I hate private school kids. 155 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:47,880 You're lucky you left. 156 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,360 If you want to get kicked out, it's not that hard. 157 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:55,640 What if your butt was on your front and your front was on your back ? 158 00:09:55,800 --> 00:10:00,000 - Going to the bathroom be weird. - You'd have to lean over the toilet ! 159 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,200 - Imagine ! - Your body's even bent that way. 160 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,680 Wait - oh my God, am I taking your virginity ? 161 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,280 - Really ? - Oh my God ! 162 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,800 Yes ! We stan a virgin queen. 163 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,320 - You got it. - That's it! 164 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,280 - That's okay. - You're good. 165 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,560 It's cool you work in an aquarium. 166 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,760 Did you know that there's a fish that has a penis on its chin ? 167 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:28,360 I didn't know that. But I feel like that would be pretty convenient. 168 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:50,600 Did you know that a third of all fish are just people in fish costumes ? 169 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,640 I'm not allowed to talk to strangers. 170 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,360 But literally everyone knows that. 171 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,200 I think I'm going to cum. 172 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:47,720 Open your eyes. Open them. 173 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,600 Look at me and keep them open, okay ? 174 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,320 I forgot how weird you are. 175 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,680 - Shit, sorry. - It's okay. 176 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,720 I was stung by a jellyfish once. 177 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,280 Really ? 178 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:02,040 I was at the beach with my Nonna, maybe I was, like, 8 ? 179 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,160 I was screaming so loud. 180 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,800 And this guy nearby felt bad and was like oh you're supposed to pee on it 181 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,480 and my Nonna was basically like fuck that. 182 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:17,560 And I started screaming more, cuz I wanted to see his penis. 183 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,200 And when he took it out, 184 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:24,560 which at the time didn't seem as molester-y as it sounds now, 185 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,640 it was the biggest thing I've ever seen in my life. 186 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,280 It was so big I literally forgot to be in pain. 187 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:34,440 And then there was this gushing waterfall on my leg. 188 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,880 And that's probably also when I figured out that being peed on 189 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,640 is not a turn-on for me but a big penis is. 190 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,600 I feel like that's not what you were just thinking about. 191 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:53,640 I was thinking what it would feel like to 192 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:59,760 go through life with no brain and no heart 193 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,200 and just drifting. 194 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,360 She's a sad stoner. 195 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,160 And she feels see-through. 196 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,000 I'm so obvious. 197 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,480 But was I talking about you or me ? 198 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:25,360 I guess we're all just jellyfishy bitches. 199 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,240 You know what my mother said to me on my wedding day ? 200 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,600 She said, husbands are like horses. 201 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,720 If you aren't riding them, they're running off. 202 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,280 You do have to admit your mother is still a head-turner ! 203 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,040 It's nice to see her having such a good time. 204 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,640 It's been hard for her. All this change, Natalia getting married, 205 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,400 you and Naomi getting older. 206 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,200 Soon it'll be just be me, her and The Menopause. 207 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,120 I can't wait to meet the lucky girl you choose to spend your life with. 208 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,560 And that wedding night ! I'm telling you - it is worth the wait. 209 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:08,080 Sometimes it feels like our bad boys just can't wait one more day. 210 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,680 But that's what they invented socks for. 211 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:16,560 Anyway. 212 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:22,400 Hold on now, you can't steal my baby girl and my wife ! 213 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,320 I'll take a Sprite and a rum and Coke for my dad. 214 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:41,480 - Grown-ups don't drink rum and Coke. - My dad does. Maybe it's a gay thing ? 215 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,960 Trust me, it's not. Anyway, it's wine and beer only. 216 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,600 You couldn't've just said that in the first place ? 217 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,400 I'm just gonna find a place to smoke some weed. 218 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,800 Same. Here's your Sprite. 219 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,920 This party... It's a lot. 220 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,440 No we're not ghosting. I literally held Natalia when she was a day old. 221 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:01,560 Megan's my oldest friend. 222 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:05,840 From when you were straight, married, born again and playing electric guitar. 223 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,880 She's the only one who stuck with me. 224 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,600 And you have to forgive her for Inception. 225 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,000 - Why ? She came to our house. - I was there. 226 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,000 - Talked through the entire movie. - I remember. 227 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:18,600 And when it was over said she hated it because it was confusing. 228 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,680 How the fuck do you stay friends with a person who does that ? 229 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,960 - Hi sweetie ! - Hi. I'm just gonna go pee. 230 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,040 Alert the media ! 231 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,720 Sorry. 232 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:37,240 - It must be my period coming. - I didn't know you were invited. 233 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,040 My parents know their parents 234 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,480 from the rich Jew-hating club they all play tennis at. 235 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,560 U have weed ? Yes. 236 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,520 meet me in stern lower deck 237 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:55,240 ?? I don't speak white 238 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,000 I literally don't know what is wrong with me. 239 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,320 But I am downstairs. 240 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,040 - Can I ask you something ? - Sure. 241 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,560 That sleepover we had where we tried scissoring 242 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,080 and I didn't know I had poison ivy and it got in your vagina. 243 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,800 Is that why you stopped talking to me ? 244 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:16,720 Maybe ? Also, you were just way into writing Hunger Games fan-fiction. 245 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,600 Do you want some ? 246 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,880 But thanks for being so nice. 247 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,240 I'm just going to get some more sushi. 248 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,680 I just want raw fish all the time. 249 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,560 Thanks. I need to take the edge off. Naomi is driving me crazy. 250 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,560 - Maybe we should go over there. - Sure. 251 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,480 Thanks. 252 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:58,080 - Shit. I'm out. - Oh great. 253 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,200 - I have a joint if you want. - I can't smell like pot. 254 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,080 - If we shotgun, you won't. - For real ? 255 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,960 Can we do another ? 256 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,400 I always thought you had blowjob lips. 257 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,200 Thank you. 258 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:05,040 See ? You don't give off gay vibes. 259 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,120 Why would you even tell her that ? That is so fucked-up. 260 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,440 That is so - so - so jerky. 261 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,640 First of all, Arianna is one of my best friends and I tell her everything. 262 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,240 Second of all, I'm just curious what leg you have to stand on 263 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,000 after you sucked my boyfriend's dick ? 264 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:26,160 I'm sorry. I told you I didn't even get my mouth on it ! 265 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,800 You just walk through life thinking you can do fucked-up things 266 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,440 and say you're sorry and everything will be fine. 267 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,000 But that was a really shitty thing you did. 268 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,080 I really fucking liked him. 269 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,840 So like, why would you do that ? 270 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:45,560 I know I can't say I'm sorry but I genuinely feel like shit about it. 271 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:50,280 And like how mom says, hurt people hurt people, you know ? 272 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:51,880 Are you high ? 273 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,560 - Wait. - Oh shit. 274 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:03,200 - Oh hi - sorry. - No. Something got on my shirt. 275 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,720 I love this place. 276 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,880 - The bathroom ? - The Aquarium. 277 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,440 Oh, yeah. 278 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,840 Do any of these soaps work ? 279 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,760 What'd you get kicked out of your old school for ? Thank you. 280 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:30,480 I did a photo assignment of guys' faces when they were cumming. 281 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,080 The whole idea was how society presents this oppressive myth about how 282 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:40,680 sex and emotion are always linked when really it's about power and dopamine. 283 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:46,240 But the school sucked and it was full of so many entitled rich assholes. 284 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:51,040 And my parents wouldn't let me leave so I had to get creative. 285 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,120 - Can I - - Sorry. 286 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:21,720 What are you doing ? 287 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:26,160 I'm wondering where all the fish are. 288 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,000 - I don't know where they are. - Where are they ? 289 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,920 Know what I want to eat more than anything in the world right now ? 290 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,360 Babies - no I know. Sushi. 291 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:39,040 Not only that, I know where we can get so much of it for free. 292 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:41,680 Let's take a trip ! 293 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:50,960 ... and Natalia, you were so stubborn from the moment you were born. 294 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:56,680 Growing up she would hold her breath until she got what she wanted. 295 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,880 And it's one thing if it's a Furby, but a Mini Cooper. 296 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,560 She got it. Yeah... 297 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,120 Anyway. 298 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:14,960 To Natalia and Jordan, may you be blessed with a happy marriage 299 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,880 and a big brood of Jordan almonds ! 300 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:32,520 Hi, everyone ! Thank you all so much for being here. 301 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:36,320 My family is so grateful you could make it, and we're so thrilled 302 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:41,400 to be celebrating Natalia's big day with such loving friends and family. 303 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:46,000 Natalia, you're the best sister I could ever ask for. 304 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,600 And recently I've been thinking a lot about 305 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:54,000 what makes a great sibling and what makes one trash. 306 00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:59,840 First, a great sibling has to be someone you can trust no matter what. 307 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,840 Also someone that everyone can trust, 308 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:06,160 and who doesn't go down on Christmas Eve to secretly unwrap their presents 309 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:07,600 and see what they got. 310 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:12,800 Or who thinks 9 dollars in quarters is an acceptable birthday present. 311 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:17,600 Anyway, I love you and I hope you and Jordan have an amazing life 312 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:22,360 with lots of kids who are good brothers and sisters to each other 313 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:23,760 and don't do things like... 314 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:28,560 Your turn. 315 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,560 Oh, hey ! 316 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,440 Hi all you beautiful Christian lovers and shakers 317 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,880 and welcome to the Flying Seaman ! 318 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,000 Not to be rebundant... 319 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,960 That's not the word... 320 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,480 But I've also been thinking about what makes a good sibling 321 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,440 and how I can be better. 322 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,240 Like how Jesus wants me to be better and He is right. 323 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,600 So shout out to my main man Jesus ! 324 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:13,000 Even though I have made mistakes my sister is my best friend in the world. 325 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:18,800 Not you, Natalia. I mean I do love you. Just not as much. 326 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:24,560 That's only 'cause you're older and I don't really like know you that well. 327 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,480 Anyway you know what I mean. 328 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:30,960 And Jordan you are a total stud. 329 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:33,680 I mean that like a brother. 330 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,280 It's okay Mom, I'm getting to the good part. 331 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:37,840 When Naomi and I were kids, 332 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,600 we'd do that Lady and the Tramp thing with the spaghetti, 333 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,840 where you eat towards each other from the opposite ends. 334 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:48,080 I guess that sounds a little incestuous 335 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:52,480 but back then it was just us loving each other. 336 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,120 Not in a creepy way. 337 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,200 And one thing I've realized over these past two weeks 338 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:02,920 is just how alone I have felt without you, and how much I've wanted you... 339 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,560 To be my friend again. 340 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,160 Just one more sec ! Cuz what I'm trying to say to Naomi is that 341 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,240 I never meant to hurt you. And I know that sounds completely ridiculous. 342 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,920 I should have thought about that before I hooked up with your boyfriend 343 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,600 but sometimes life is just a day late and a dollar short. 344 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:31,360 To clarify, I also like girls too. 345 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:36,400 Like when Riley and I went to the Jew meeting I even said 346 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:40,760 how happy I was that Sophie Deichman- Alperstein was dressing kind of slutty. 347 00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:45,680 Maybe I shouldn't've said slutty. But um... 348 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,400 - Nathan, stop ! - Let me go ! 349 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,760 Why couldn't you have just let me be an only child like I wanted ! 350 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,880 Thank you for ruining my entire fucking wedding weekend. 351 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,760 It's my wedding. I'm fucking cursing if I want to. 352 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:12,120 - The wedding is not ruined. - It's totally ruined. 353 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,160 But like, apology accepted. 354 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:19,560 We're saying it was just a funny little nothing that got out of control. 355 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,600 Just a funny nothing. 356 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:22,840 - But... - No. 357 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,760 - Mom, it wasn't... - No ! 358 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,080 Shit shit shit.