1 00:00:00,217 --> 00:00:02,477 CHARLIE: Come on, hurry up, guys. I want to get a good seat. 2 00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:04,094 DENNIS: What do you mean you want to get... 3 00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:06,404 Charlie, this is a sexual harassment seminar. 4 00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:07,831 There are no "good seats." Where are you going? 5 00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:09,397 -Up front. -This is so unfair. 6 00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:11,054 I mean, I'm not saying it doesn't happen to, like, 7 00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:12,448 loads of women all the time, 8 00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:14,710 but I don't harass anybody, so why am I here? 9 00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:17,413 Because some Internet warrior put Paddy's on a list 10 00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,062 of unsafe places for women. 11 00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,626 And we can't have that, okay? 12 00:00:20,672 --> 00:00:22,152 -Not in this climate. -Right. 13 00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:24,886 Ugh! You kids and your climates. 14 00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:28,287 Back in the day, I banged all my secretaries. 15 00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:29,642 -Frank. -That's the way you did it. 16 00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:32,291 You hire some girl with no experience, 17 00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,296 you bang her, you promote her. 18 00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,428 It's a win-win situation for everybody, 19 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,081 except for the wives. 20 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:41,295 Frank, modulate your volume, okay? This is serious, okay? 21 00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:44,305 The future of Paddy's depends on us completing this seminar. 22 00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:45,698 You guys should be really worried. 23 00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:47,441 I'm not worried about anything, man. If anyone should be 24 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,442 worried about weird shit with women, it's you, bro. 25 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:51,314 -[Frank chuckles] -The only reason we're here 26 00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:53,225 is because you DENNIS'd someone, probably, 27 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,660 and she put us on the list. We're only here 'cause of you. 28 00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,487 Yeah, you perv. You happy now? 29 00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,095 -You happy? -Happy? 30 00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:01,096 [scoffs] You guys, this isn't about me. 31 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,668 I don't know if you noticed, 32 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,464 but women are on a little bit of a rampage right now 33 00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:06,719 and anyone could be taken down at any moment, 34 00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:09,292 so, you know, no, I'm not happy right now. 35 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:11,330 Who could possibly be happy right now? 36 00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:12,545 Hey-o! 37 00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,474 Who's ready to party?! 38 00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:16,119 ♪ Time's up, time's up, time's up♪ 39 00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:18,513 ♪ Time's up, time's up, time's up.♪ [laughs] 40 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:21,166 ♪ 41 00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:43,148 Hello. I'm Kate. 42 00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,580 And I want to begin today by addressing the reason 43 00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,367 that we're all here, the so-called 44 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:51,021 "Shitty Bar List" of unsafe places for women. 45 00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,367 Ah, yes. Uh, just a quick question. 46 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,156 How many points do we need? 47 00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:55,941 I'm sorry, points? 48 00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,325 Yeah, how many points do we need to score 49 00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:59,338 to get our name taken off the list? 50 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:01,560 Oh. No, there's no points. 51 00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:03,169 Everything is graded by points, right? 52 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:04,390 I mean, otherwise, how could the Eagles 53 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:05,388 have won the Super Bowl, right? 54 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:07,389 All you have to do is complete the seminar 55 00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:09,961 and then your bar will have its name removed from the list. 56 00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,389 -There you go. Simple. -CHARLIE: Yeah, but our-our name 57 00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:13,175 shouldn't even be on that list 'cause, like, 58 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:16,400 we don't really have any history of misbehavior at Paddy's Pub. 59 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,750 Well, I'm sure a lot of people here today feel that way, 60 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,790 but I encourage you to keep your minds open... 61 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:24,357 And your dicks in your pants. [laughs] 62 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,185 Ma'am, that kind of language is inappropriate 63 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,243 in a professional setting. 64 00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:31,188 That's one of the things that you'll learn in the seminar. 65 00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:32,848 Uh, yes? Do you have a question? 66 00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:35,591 Statute of limitations. 67 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:37,373 Okay. I'm just trying to get through the introduction here, 68 00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:41,248 but since you asked, the federal law is 300 days 69 00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:44,291 from the last act, depending on the state and... 70 00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,208 Sir, are you leaving? 71 00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:47,603 -Frank! -What? 72 00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:50,425 They got nothing on me past '92, tops. 73 00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:52,224 DENNIS: Hold on a second there. 74 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,439 Uh, pardon me, Kate, but, um, aren't some states considering 75 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:58,048 doing away with the statute of limitations altogether? 76 00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,880 Some states like, uh, Nevada? 77 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,489 KATE: Yes, that's right. 78 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,790 Can they do that? 79 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,575 It's possible. Yes. 80 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:06,800 FRANK: Nevada, huh? 81 00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:10,058 Ah, it's getting warm in here. 82 00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:12,802 Uh, got to make some calls. Shit. 83 00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:16,244 You can continue now. 84 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:20,033 I promise you there will be no further interruptions. 85 00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,589 Right. We're gonna jump right into the group work. 86 00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:23,246 Half of you are gonna go with me 87 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,640 and the rest will be led by my associate Alan. 88 00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:27,473 Hello, everyone. I'm Alan. 89 00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,031 Oh! Here comes the boss man. 90 00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:30,428 -Finally, a dude. -Yeah. 91 00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:31,691 Yeah, okay, cool. He's in charge. 92 00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:35,483 Uh, ma'am? Could we go with Alan, please? 93 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:38,259 Actually, I think we should split your group up. 94 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:41,085 That's, uh, that's gonna be a lot harder for me 95 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,353 -to keep tabs on you guys. -Don't worry, Dennis. 96 00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:44,657 I'm gonna make you so proud. 97 00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,442 I'm gonna work really hard and get all the points and... 98 00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:47,487 What is with you and the points? 99 00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,051 There are no points. We established that. 100 00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:50,838 Well, that's how the Eagles won the Super Bowl. 101 00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:51,842 I know that's how the Eagles won the... 102 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,283 but this isn't the Eagles. Okay? 103 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,670 -This is a seminar. -MAC: Go Birds, though. 104 00:03:54,712 --> 00:03:56,632 -Oh, go Birds, go Birds. -All right, fine, go Birds. Yes. 105 00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:58,281 I know. Go Birds. Get your hand off my knee. 106 00:03:58,325 --> 00:03:59,665 Look, just sit here and do nothing. 107 00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,277 ALAN: So, in this room 108 00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:03,068 we're going to be talking about harassment 109 00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,422 in the workplace. 110 00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:07,291 And thank you to Elliot who's agreed to play our boss. 111 00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,424 I'll just need another volunteer from the group. 112 00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:10,856 -Oh! Oh! Alan! -Alan! Alan! Alan! 113 00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,562 -Uh, so, uh... -Alan! Alan! 114 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,080 Sir, would you mind just jumping in for me? 115 00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,434 -Thank you. -[Charlie groans] 116 00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:17,913 Um, great. So just read from the script 117 00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:20,353 and I'll jump in as and when. 118 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,440 "Good morning, boss." 119 00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:26,439 "Hello, Johnson. Have that report on my desk by 5:00. 120 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:29,663 -"Hey, did you see the boobs on that new intern?" -And stop. 121 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:32,454 Now, can anyone tell me what the boss did wrong there? 122 00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:34,449 Yeah. He mumbled his lines. 123 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,931 I didn't believe a word out of his mouth. 124 00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:38,541 Uh, no, sorry. I mean in the scenario. 125 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,892 -He-he used vulgar language. -That is correct. 126 00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:42,332 B-But she didn't hear it. 127 00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:43,889 This is just locker room talk between guys. 128 00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:46,105 Now, that's actually a common misconception, okay? 129 00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:47,675 Lewd comments can be a form of harassment 130 00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:49,772 even if directed to a third party. 131 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,941 But it's not for her. It's about her. 132 00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:53,597 No, sorry. It's-it's actually, 133 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,121 it's the employee who's talking to the boss 134 00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:56,564 that is the one that was offended. 135 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,600 -What? Why? -No, no, no, the employee 136 00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,425 -would find it hilarious. -Yeah. 137 00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,613 I mean, not this guy 'cause the boss sucks at telling jokes. 138 00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,779 -No offense to you, sir. -Well, also, we really don't know how funny the joke is yet 139 00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,775 'cause we haven't seen the girl's boobs. Can we see them? 140 00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,997 Okay. Uh, let's... [laughs] ...let's switch gears. 141 00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:10,216 Maybe try a different scenario. Thanks, gents. 142 00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:11,916 Just, uh, uh, take a seat. 143 00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:15,923 Um, so, uh, Mac, what is it that you do at the bar? 144 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,577 -I am the head of security at Paddy's Pub. -He's our doorman. 145 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,712 -No, he's just, like, our gay guy now. -No, well... 146 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,705 Great. So, you check IDs. That-that sort of thing. 147 00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:24,977 -He should. -Not once has he ever checked an ID. 148 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,720 -It's one aspect of the job. -Yeah, he should. 149 00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:29,761 Why don't you, why don't you hop up here and we'll do a little 150 00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:31,637 scenario that-that might be a little more familiar to you. 151 00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:33,589 -You are very tall. -Yes, I am. 152 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,507 Now, should I take my shirt off for the scenario? 153 00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:36,862 Because I feel like standing next to you, 154 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,431 they're not gonna be as intimidated, 155 00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:39,948 but if I were to take my shirt off, they would be intimidated. 156 00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:41,251 I'm not in the scenario. 157 00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:42,817 -We're good. We're good. -Yeah, we're okay. 158 00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,524 -We get it. We get it. -That's him doing his gay guy thing. 159 00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:46,521 So, uh, can we also get a female customer? 160 00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,043 -Ooh, yeah. -A volunteer? 161 00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:50,436 -I will be the young female customer. -[groans] 162 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,610 Young female customer. Great, good. Yes. 163 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:56,176 Okay. Well, um, just, uh, do your job as you would normally 164 00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,175 and I will, um, you know, jump in 165 00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,617 if you cross over into any gray areas. 166 00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:00,973 Okay. So what's my character? 167 00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,412 Uh, you're just trying to get into the bar. 168 00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:03,969 Yeah, but why? 169 00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:06,185 To get a drink, I suppose. 170 00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:07,755 Why? I just drank three beers on the way over. 171 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:09,802 You don't show up at a bar sober. 172 00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,547 What a waste of money. What are you gonna... 173 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,498 Just you're trying to get into the bar. 174 00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,197 -I'm here for revenge. -Okay. Sure. 175 00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:16,644 Alan, what's my character again? 176 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,420 -You're the doorman. -Right. 177 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:21,817 And how many drinks have I had at this point? 178 00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,429 You are... you're not in the scenario. 179 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,560 -I've had five. -Okay. Marvelous. 180 00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:27,562 Let's, uh, let's begin whenever you're ready. 181 00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:30,094 [clears throat] Excuse me, sir, have you... 182 00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:31,828 -I got your cargo! -[all shouting] 183 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,869 -Whoa! -Wow. 184 00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:36,655 -[Charlie laughs] -ALAN: Jesus Christ. 185 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:37,790 Why did you do that? 186 00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,572 Oh, well, well, she came at me, 187 00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:41,616 -and it was sort of my instinct. -That was amazing. 188 00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:44,012 -That was great, right? -You got me, like, a foot off the ground. 189 00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:46,575 -A-Are you okay? -Yeah, yeah. No, it doesn't hurt. 190 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,453 Did it-did it make you feel humiliated? 191 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,015 Did it make you-make you feel small? 192 00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,671 That's what it is, it made me feel teeny-tiny. 193 00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:53,495 -Like Thumbelina. -That's what I was going for. Thumbelina! 194 00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:54,463 That's the highest I've ever gotten. 195 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:55,891 He's never gotten me that high before. 196 00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,677 You're lucky I haven't called the police. 197 00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:59,071 Why-why would you call the police? 198 00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:01,734 Oh, wait. H-Hold on. Is that sexual harassment? 199 00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,509 No, that is sexual assault. 200 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:05,033 -Really? -Assault? -[clock ticking] 201 00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:07,686 No. Dee, Dee. I did not assault you. 202 00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:10,171 Please tell Alan that I did not assault you. 203 00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,472 Well, now that I've 204 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,478 gotten a little distance from the event... 205 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,610 Wha... No, Alan, we do this kind of stuff all the time. 206 00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:18,132 W... Charlie, would you tell him? 207 00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:20,476 -He's gone. -If you do this all the time, 208 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:21,657 you-you've got a big problem, all right? 209 00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,052 She could press charges. 210 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,714 -Could I? -No. -[clock ticking faster] 211 00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:27,489 No! Dee. No. 212 00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,624 -He just said I could, so... -Oh, God. 213 00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,626 It just, i-it... did somebody turn up the heat? 214 00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,098 Yeah, you sweating? You sweating a little bit, Ronald? 215 00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,458 -Yeah? -No, it's just the climate is... 216 00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:41,975 KATE: But the term "sexual harassment" 217 00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:45,156 wasn't coined until 1975, 218 00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:47,643 -by a woman named Carmita Wood. -Carmita Wood. Oh. I'm sorry. 219 00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,864 -Sorry. -[chuckles] You really know your history. 220 00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:52,344 -Well, this is important stuff. -DEE: Oh, please. 221 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,744 -God, get lost, Dee. -No way, I'm on a roll. 222 00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,518 -So who could tell me... -DEE: [clears throat] Hey. 223 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,523 Is it sexual harassment when a man 224 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:01,515 constantly calls his female coworker a bird? 225 00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:04,918 That depends. Is that a sexual innuendo of some kind? 226 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:07,102 Just a big dumb flightless bird. 227 00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:10,528 Well, it's not very nice, but it's not sexual harassment. 228 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,797 [laughs quietly] Nice try, you dumb bitch. 229 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,800 [regular volume]: Um, Kate, if I may, yeah. 230 00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:16,582 Um, federal law really only recognizes 231 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,536 two types of sexual harassment: 232 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:22,545 quid pro quo and hostile work environment. 233 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,109 That is very good, Dennis. 234 00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:25,765 -Thank you. -No, no, don't do that. 235 00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,679 This man is a monster. Believe you me. 236 00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,774 -[chuckles]: What? -He is the worst person I know. 237 00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:32,343 You got to protect me on this, Larry. 238 00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:34,781 I... Start with the secretaries. 239 00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:36,778 Oh, Jesus Christ, Frank. Pants. 240 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,000 I was sweating through my clothes. 241 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,819 It's this damn climate. 242 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,557 Sir, that robe is inappropriate. 243 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:44,178 -And I don't think... -Hon, I'm on the phone, you see? 244 00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:47,829 I don't know. I bought her a Camaro. No, 245 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,565 you know I don't go Chinese. 246 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,006 I don't know why, I just don't. 247 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,972 Korean? 248 00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,970 Oh, put her on the list. 249 00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:56,672 I really did a number on her. 250 00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:58,450 -[laughs] -Yeah... 251 00:08:58,494 --> 00:08:59,804 Why don't we take a break? 252 00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,625 Got to get your shit together, Frank. 253 00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,683 -You... -Oh, I wish I was dead. 254 00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:07,589 These vultures are picking my carcass clean. 255 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,594 Whoa, Frank. Hey, stop talking. 256 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,376 -Where'd you get that robe? -Upstairs. 257 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,160 I got to get one of them, man. Nice. 258 00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:14,994 Whoa. Wait, Jesus, Mac. What the hell happened to you? 259 00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:18,382 I'm gonna be honest. The first half has not gone well. 260 00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:20,817 -You got exposed, too? -Oh, yeah, he did. Big time. 261 00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:22,824 He did a role-play thing, it went bad. 262 00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:24,646 Wait, role-playing thing? Y-You were supposed to do nothing. 263 00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:26,704 I mean, n-now you're all sweaty and twitchy? 264 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,180 Well, it's-it's so hot in here. 265 00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,739 I mean, I feel like they crank up the heat. 266 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,606 Oh, they cranked it up. I'm roasting. 267 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:35,618 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Which one of you just grabbed my ass? 268 00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:36,842 [laughs] 269 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,010 Did you see that? Did you see... 270 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,836 [whispers]: Th-That is a problem for us. 271 00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:42,804 Their powers are growing. Okay? 272 00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:45,413 Now, we got to start taking this more seriously, okay? 273 00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,854 Can you guys just go back in there and do nothing, okay? 274 00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:49,761 Just don't say or do anything. 275 00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,496 KATE: Can anyone tell me 276 00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,767 the two types of sexual harassment? 277 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:56,640 Oh. Oh, oh. Uh, uh, flirting and groping. 278 00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,473 No! Uh, groping and-and dick pics. 279 00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:01,471 Yeah, I-I know that sending dick pics is one of them. 280 00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:03,993 You're kidding. Christ. 281 00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:06,738 -I got to shoot some texts. -KATE: Actually, 282 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:09,700 it's quid pro quo and hostile work environment. 283 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,089 Would you please stop interrupting me? Because... 284 00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:13,792 -[laughs]: Ooh, ooh, burn. -And you. 285 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,660 Could you please sit down? 286 00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:16,702 No, it's cool. I'm on your side. 287 00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:18,266 There are no sides. 288 00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,273 Shit, I just looked at her tits. 289 00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,445 -Frank! Don't tell her that. -Okay, don't panic. 290 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:24,931 A passing glance is not sexual harassment. 291 00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:26,712 Oh. I like your tactic here. 292 00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,276 Get them all horny with your titties. 293 00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:29,893 That's when they make their mistakes. 294 00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,893 Ma'am, that's victim blaming. 295 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,935 No, I'm blaming Frank. He's been staring at your boobs 296 00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:35,721 this whole time. Still doing it. 297 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,155 MAC: Frank! 298 00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:40,731 What? I'm not allowed to like things anymore? 299 00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:43,820 -It's a compliment. -How is that a compliment? 300 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:46,170 Well, they're not thatgreat. 301 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,730 Make her feel good. 302 00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,387 -Hey, hey, hey. Don't let them get to you. -Okay... 303 00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:50,871 Okay? Your tits are fine. 304 00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:52,741 ALAN: Okay, everybody, 305 00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,832 if, uh, you could take a seat, please. 306 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:57,531 So, now what we're gonna do is, uh, 307 00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,049 imagine a-a hypothetical scenario, 308 00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:02,184 uh, based right here in Philadelphia. 309 00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:04,966 So, uh, imagine a-a woman, we'll call her "the waitress," 310 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:07,062 -who works at a local coffee shop. -[clock ticking] 311 00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:09,761 Now, i-in this particular instance, this waitress 312 00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:12,539 is being harassed by one of her customers. 313 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,334 He's following her home from work, uh, 314 00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:17,419 digging through her trash and calling her repeatedly, 315 00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:19,639 until she complains to her boss about it. 316 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,509 Now, the boss does nothing. 317 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:24,510 Can anyone tell me who's legally at fault here? 318 00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:26,773 -Ooh. Wow, what do you think, Charlie? -Yeah. 319 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,776 I-I think the waitress is. 320 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,558 Y-You know, 'cause, for... She doesn't realize 321 00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:32,952 that, like, true love is in front of her stupid face. 322 00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,776 -Well... -Why would she say that's an assault? 323 00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,874 Hold on a second. Now, this is just a-this is just 324 00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:39,223 a hypothetical, uh, scenario that he's painting. 325 00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,873 He's not getting the whole big picture, right? 326 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,877 -Well, of course, it's a hypothetical. -I know, but maybe 327 00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,089 she, like, only thought, like, 328 00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:45,658 she wasn't into him, but then, like, 329 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,355 15 years later, when she needed a baby, like, 330 00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:49,142 really bad, and she'd been in and out of, like, 331 00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:51,006 -a women's shelter, he banged her. -ALAN: Sorry. 332 00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:54,668 That-that doesn't mean that the customer didn't harass. 333 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,674 All right, well then, I think all of the customers' friends 334 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,926 harassed her, too, because they all banged her. 335 00:11:57,978 --> 00:11:59,368 -I mean, he did. -That's true. 336 00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:00,894 Oh, well, don't bring me into th... 337 00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:03,157 This is a hypothetical scenario. I'm not involved. 338 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,250 -Neither are you. -She also did hand stuff to Mac. 339 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:07,249 She did. I-It wasn't very good, though. 340 00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:09,341 All right, look, are you trying to tell me that no matter what, 341 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,820 it's always just gonna be the customer's fault? 342 00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:14,821 It is, in fact, the boss's fault. 343 00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:16,824 The boss. 344 00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:18,906 Well, that makes sense. I always hated Seth. 345 00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:20,955 -He's a real creep. -Well, you don't know his name 346 00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,001 because this is hypothetical, and he didn't say t-that... 347 00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:24,696 Well, it doesn't matter anyway, 'cause she just said 348 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:25,834 what I-what I did to her wasn't harassment 349 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,485 because Seth did it to her. 350 00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:29,009 Sorry. I... Can I just make this very clear, okay? 351 00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:31,362 What the customer did was harassment. 352 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:32,842 -Right. -Yes. Ifit were you. 353 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,712 And so, take in the information, but don't take it personally. 354 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,494 Uh, yeah, technically, don't, like, I get, like, a free pass 355 00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,798 and stuff? 'Cause I mean, I was molested. 356 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,495 -[audience murmuring] -Ah... W-Well, now, actually, that is true. 357 00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,022 He did get molested by his Uncle Jack. 358 00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:43,585 His-his Uncle Jack got to him pretty good. 359 00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:44,852 -No, Uncle Jack never molested me. -Oh. 360 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,594 -I dodged him. -Oh, no, he got you. He got you. 361 00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,585 -He got you big time. -You weren't there. 362 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:49,987 -You wrote a whole play about it. -Yeah, you did write a play. 363 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,510 -I got molested by Dee. -What?! 364 00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:54,864 What? Oh, c... That's ludicrous. 365 00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:56,734 No, it's true. Like, a couple years ago, 366 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,516 she banged me, and I didn't want to do it. 367 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,870 -There you go. -Wait, wait. You had sex with Charlie? 368 00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:02,090 -Oh, God. -You had sex with Dee? 369 00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:03,649 -Yeah. -Yeah, yeah. 370 00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,645 We, okay, it was a mistake. 371 00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:08,217 -Yeah, I'll say. -I-It... I re-I regret every second of it, 372 00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:09,745 -but it was consensual. -It was not! 373 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,749 I totally wanted her to stop, and, like, 374 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,181 I was very intimidated by her larger frame. 375 00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:16,098 -Oh, yeah, I can see that. Yeah. -So, you know. 376 00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:18,103 I have a petite frame. I... I-It's a Thumbelina frame. 377 00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,095 -I don't... Not to me. -Y-You didn't tell me to stop. 378 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:22,107 Yeah, and I kept saying... [muffled protests] 379 00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,889 And you're like, "Shut up! Stop talking! Be still. 380 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,333 "Let me do my thing. I can't, I can't get off 381 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:27,890 with you moving and talking and shit." 382 00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:29,897 Oh, shit. Yup. That's ringing a bell. 383 00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:31,639 Jesus, Dee. Ugh, God. 384 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,120 All right, but, yeah... [stammers] 385 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,770 Either way, It does... I can't molest you, you know? 386 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,124 It doesn't work that way, 'cause I'm a woman and you're the man. 387 00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,774 Right, right? Back me up, girlfriend. 388 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,778 Actually, a woman cansexually harass and even rape a man. 389 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,041 Is that what happened here? 390 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:45,563 -[bell dings, clock ticking] -Gosh, I mean, maybe. 391 00:13:45,607 --> 00:13:47,997 No, no, no, no. You don't, you don't just throw around 392 00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,964 the-the "R" word, Kate. It's hot, right? 393 00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,273 FRANK: Yello? 394 00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:55,138 What? Wha... Well, find her through the abortion records. 395 00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,582 Can the group from Paddy's Pub please focus up. 396 00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:58,929 You guys have been very disruptive. 397 00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:00,798 Well, maybe you should explain it more better, 398 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,230 because I'm totally confused about... 399 00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:04,016 Maybe if you stopped interrupting. 400 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,020 Maybe if you two stopped sucking a fat dick. 401 00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:09,152 -You do suck a fat dick. -You've sucked a dick through this process. 402 00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,886 What? Are you kidding me? After all of this, 403 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,237 I ended up firing her? 404 00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:13,766 [all groaning] 405 00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:15,159 Oh, my God. 406 00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:17,942 Hey, Larry? How soon can you get to the Hyatt? 407 00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,077 My dong fell out. Some woman saw it. 408 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,160 Well, goddamn it. 409 00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:22,908 DENNIS: All right, calm down, calm down. 410 00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:24,119 It's o... Everybody take it easy, 411 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:25,257 everybody take a deep breath. 412 00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:26,819 You know, we're gonna get through this, I-I think. 413 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,126 Look, Kate, uh, you two are clearly 414 00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:29,961 a little in over your heads, here. 415 00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:32,049 Right? Yeah. You're never gonna be able to rein in 416 00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:33,608 this particular group, so I tell you what-- 417 00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:36,135 I have some experience running, uh, 418 00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:37,829 little educational seminars like this, 419 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,837 so why don't I take over for a little bit? 420 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,969 You guys, scoot. All right? On your bikes. 421 00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,062 Here's a statistic for you: 422 00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,983 100% of men are capable of being sexual harassers. 423 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,759 And 100% of women 424 00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:54,503 are capable of being sexually harassed. 425 00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,195 Now, am I saying that all men 426 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:58,853 are sexual harassers? No, no, no, no. No, no. 427 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,418 Of course not. No. Absolutely not. No. 428 00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,084 Yes, some men are, uh, well, 429 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,548 they're-they're sexual harassers, 430 00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:05,508 but they don't represent all men, you know, 431 00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,076 just like all women aren't represented 432 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,083 by a few bad ones, you know? Women like, uh... 433 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,555 [dramatic music plays] 434 00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:12,995 You know, and of course... 435 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,742 And then we got... 436 00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:16,443 Point is, 437 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,530 that gender really doesn't have anything to do with it. 438 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,790 There's really only one thing that determines 439 00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,883 whether a person will be accused of sexual harassment, 440 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,193 and that is... 441 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,008 ugliness. 442 00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:29,356 -[all gasping] -Let me explain. 443 00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:31,756 Now, see, here's a, here's a graph of ugliness 444 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,800 as it relates to time. 445 00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:35,665 Now, you see how the, how the arrow plunges 446 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:38,107 pretty steeply downward as your ugliness increases. 447 00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:40,594 Now, I want you to imagine a scenario for me. 448 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,675 This man walks into work one day, 449 00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,814 sees a woman, and says, "I like your dress." 450 00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:48,026 Oh. Mildly sexual, but innocuous enough, yeah. 451 00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:52,817 Now imagine the same sentence spoken by this man. 452 00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:55,224 -[groans, gasps] -Yeah. 453 00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:56,258 Suddenly, you're very uncomfortable. 454 00:15:56,303 --> 00:15:58,613 We're all uncomfortable just looking at him now. 455 00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:02,223 Because he's gross, he's ugly, he's a little bit of a monster. 456 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:04,695 Now, is it this man's fault that he looks this way? 457 00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:07,486 No. He was, he was born this way, but the point is, 458 00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:09,061 I know it's not myfault, you know? 459 00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:10,928 Is it your fault? I don't think so. 460 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,490 It's certainly not the woman's fault, you know? 461 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:15,236 Point is, know your place, monster man. Your time's up. 462 00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,278 [bell dings] 463 00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:17,633 Now, I know what you're thinking. 464 00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:20,152 You're thinking, "How do I know if I'm ugly? 465 00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,936 Well, if you're not sure, 466 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,291 probably best to assume that you are. 467 00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:25,380 Everyone in this room is. I-I did a scan. 468 00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:26,939 Now here's the part where you say, 469 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,936 "But, Dennis, I can't be ugly, 470 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,818 I'm rich." 471 00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:34,299 And, yes, money can offset and reduce ugliness, 472 00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,731 but it actually increases your risk. 473 00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:38,738 You see, a construction worker, he can can catcall women 474 00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,300 all day long, right? And he gets away with it 475 00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:44,087 'cause nobody gives a shit, but a rich guy... 476 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,093 -A rich guy's fun to take down. -[clock ticking] 477 00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,085 Time's up. 478 00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:49,966 -[bell dings] -"But, Dennis," you're saying, 479 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,449 "I can't be ugly, and-and it doesn't matter, 480 00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:52,968 because I'm gay." 481 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,192 -[chuckles] -Well, guess what, pal? 482 00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:55,880 You-you are ugly, 483 00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,097 and it doesn't matter how much 484 00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:59,106 you work out. It's never gonna change that fact. 485 00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:01,318 You've also objectified tons of men, including me. 486 00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:03,198 You know, you got to stop kissing me, man. 487 00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:05,329 I don't want it. I don't want you touching me at all. 488 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:07,112 Okay, it's never gonna happen. All right? 489 00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:09,066 Not willingly. Your time's up. 490 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:10,675 [bell dings] 491 00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:14,335 "But Dennis, I can't be ugly. I'm a hopeless romantic." 492 00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,471 -[clock ticking] -But no, you're-you're not. 493 00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,473 Okay, you're-you're a sad, pathetic wretch of a man, 494 00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,125 so desperate to be loved 495 00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:22,779 that you'll actually go rifling through somebody's garbage. 496 00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:24,784 [chuckles]: And there's nothing-- 497 00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:28,126 nothing--more unattractive than desperation. 498 00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:30,087 Yeah, so you te... No, not him. 499 00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:31,086 No, talking about you. No. 500 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,657 Not him, either. Yeah, I am talking 501 00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:34,883 about y... You know what, never mind. Your time's up. 502 00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:37,323 -[bell dings] -"But Dennis... 503 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,360 "I-I... See, I can't be ugly, all right? 504 00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:40,666 I'm a woman." 505 00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:42,101 -[clock ticking] -Well, no, women can be ugly, 506 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,368 and you are one of them. 507 00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,150 One of the ugly ones. You're lanky, and your hair's-- 508 00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:47,814 well, it looks like a wig. Yeah. What's going on? 509 00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,809 Is it a wig? Doesn't matter. Your time's up. 510 00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:52,031 -[bell dings] -But guys, 511 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,591 I got some good news for you. 512 00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:56,247 Okay? It's not a crime to be ugly. 513 00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,162 But you can't be ugly 514 00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,167 andsloppy. 515 00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:02,389 So, take me, for example. 516 00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:05,169 I'm neither. Yeah, you see that? 517 00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:08,394 That is 11% body fat. Now, the only place you're gonna... 518 00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:10,345 -What year was that photo taken? -No, no, no. 519 00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:11,963 Not taking questions right now, Mac. 520 00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:13,273 So just... Yeah. 521 00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:15,179 Point is, I keep my body tight. 522 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:18,404 But I also keep my life tight. 523 00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:21,185 I got the tapes. I got the receipts. 524 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,410 They're all time-stamped and coded. 525 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,189 After every encounter, I received a text 526 00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:26,673 confirming each partner's consent and enjoyment. 527 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,408 Now, you may ask, "Well... 528 00:18:30,457 --> 00:18:33,287 would a woman really-really text that, Dennis?" 529 00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,379 Their phones did. 530 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,547 I got the documents to prove it, so don't try coming at me. 531 00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:43,427 But some of you-- 532 00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:45,730 you just haven't been careful enough. 533 00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:49,386 So you're asking yourself, "What can I do to save myself now?" 534 00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,432 You got to clean up your act. Otherwise, you're going down, 535 00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:52,998 and you're gonna take me down with you, 536 00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:54,314 and I ain't going down. 537 00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:56,960 You understand? I've been telling you this for years, 538 00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,215 but you refused to listen. 539 00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:00,527 And so that's why I had to find a way to make you listen, 540 00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:03,364 which is why Icreated the Shitty Bar List. 541 00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,453 -[crowd murmuring] -What? 542 00:19:05,492 --> 00:19:06,672 That's right. 543 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,450 I made the spreadsheet, I posted it online, 544 00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:10,315 and I even hired these two bozos to host the seminar. 545 00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:11,716 Wait, youhired us? 546 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,412 You're a monster. 547 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,977 -[clock ticking] -Oh, yeah? Prove it. 548 00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:19,545 [bell dings] 549 00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,683 Oh, wow! I feel like we should clap. 550 00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:23,025 -Yeah. -Yeah. 551 00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,384 -That was pretty good. -That was awesome. 552 00:19:24,424 --> 00:19:26,474 Yeah. I'm gonna be honest, I didn't follow most of it, 553 00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:28,693 -but so cool, man. -Yeah. 554 00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:31,262 Pretty drastic move to publicly expose us, 555 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,430 but I see why you did it. 556 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,566 Yeah, but it's true. I mean, women are out to get us. 557 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,129 Well, well, no, no. Women are right. 558 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,436 I mean, men are monsters. We're constantly harassing them. 559 00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:41,142 I'm just saying we need to be more careful 560 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,490 so we don't get accused. 561 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:44,139 And we should probably stop harassing them. 562 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,493 Uh, well, you know, I don't know. One step at a time. 563 00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:47,713 We don't want the whole system to collapse, 564 00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:49,361 -you know what I mean? -Ease-ease into it. 565 00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:50,925 -It'd be chaotic. Yeah, yeah. -Ease into it. -Yeah. 566 00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:51,932 Yeah, yeah. You guys want to go 567 00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:52,933 grab some margaritas by the pool? 568 00:19:52,974 --> 00:19:54,504 -I do. -Booze. 569 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:55,721 -I'm ready for some booze. -DEE: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 570 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,019 -Let's go. -Yeah. -Me, too. 571 00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:58,275 -Oh! -[all laugh] 572 00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:00,587 -Oh, "MeToo." -Very good. 573 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:03,384 -That's great. -Very good, and for a woman, a good joke. 574 00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:05,379 Hey, you guys think that Alan guy's got a big dick? 575 00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:06,291 -DENNIS: Oh, yeah. -Huge. 576 00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:08,075 I saw it in the bathroom. I sought it out. 577 00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:47,115 [trio chanting backwards] 578 00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:52,118 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH