1 00:00:05,790 --> 00:00:08,793 - Hi, Mickey, alcoholic. - Hi, Mickey. 2 00:00:08,877 --> 00:00:12,463 Um... I'm doing good, doing the work. 3 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,633 This weekend was... 4 00:00:14,716 --> 00:00:16,509 weird, tough. 5 00:00:16,593 --> 00:00:18,302 My friends had this party, 6 00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:19,638 and let's just say... 7 00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:21,848 I let things get out of hand. 8 00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:24,433 I didn't drink. I'm still sober, 9 00:00:24,517 --> 00:00:27,145 but it was the first time in a super long time 10 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:28,521 that I felt like getting fucked up, 11 00:00:28,605 --> 00:00:31,149 so I thought I should bring myself to a meeting. 12 00:00:40,116 --> 00:00:43,411 - Mickey? Mickey! - Oh! Hey, Dianne! 13 00:00:43,494 --> 00:00:45,664 Yeah, I thought I saw you in there. 14 00:00:45,747 --> 00:00:47,916 Hey, beautiful. Oh, it feels like forever. 15 00:00:47,999 --> 00:00:50,877 Yeah. Uh, work and everything, yeah. 16 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,672 - You wanna smoke? - Uh, no. I quit. 17 00:00:53,755 --> 00:00:55,674 - Oh, good for you! - Yeah, I know. 18 00:00:55,757 --> 00:00:57,133 So how are you? How are things with you? 19 00:00:57,216 --> 00:00:58,843 - They're good? - Yeah. 20 00:00:58,927 --> 00:01:00,845 Yeah, do they not seem good? 21 00:01:00,929 --> 00:01:02,681 No, no! I just... Um... 22 00:01:02,764 --> 00:01:06,559 You know, what you said in there, and... 23 00:01:06,643 --> 00:01:07,894 and I know. 24 00:01:08,645 --> 00:01:10,647 I know. I've been there, sweetie. So, you know what? 25 00:01:10,730 --> 00:01:13,817 If you feel like picking up a drink, you pick up the phone instead, 26 00:01:13,900 --> 00:01:15,443 'cause I know you have my number. 27 00:01:16,027 --> 00:01:17,611 - Don't file it... - Dial it. 28 00:01:17,696 --> 00:01:18,697 - Yes, I know. - Yes. 29 00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:19,989 - Okay. - You're right, you're right. I will. 30 00:01:20,073 --> 00:01:22,366 I know, I know, everybody hates making the calls, 31 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,911 but I'd love to hear from you. I really would. 32 00:01:24,994 --> 00:01:26,495 And I will do that. 33 00:01:26,579 --> 00:01:28,581 You know, it's amazing how many things you can get done 34 00:01:28,664 --> 00:01:31,375 when you take out that part of your brain that's focused on not getting high. 35 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:32,543 Right. 36 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:35,171 I'm just getting to know myself. 37 00:01:36,089 --> 00:01:37,799 It's the longest I've ever been single. 38 00:01:37,882 --> 00:01:40,844 It's so nice to not be seeking all these outside things, 39 00:01:40,927 --> 00:01:44,013 you know, like drinks or guys or... 40 00:01:44,097 --> 00:01:47,558 You know, I... I've just been so distracted by being happy. 41 00:02:04,617 --> 00:02:06,244 Okay. 42 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:07,328 Okay. 43 00:02:28,678 --> 00:02:33,678 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 44 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,151 Mickey, you decent? 45 00:02:38,234 --> 00:02:40,653 Yeah, I'm just changing my pillowcases. 46 00:02:40,737 --> 00:02:41,988 I should change my pillow. 47 00:02:42,071 --> 00:02:43,072 Do you know, after five years, 48 00:02:43,156 --> 00:02:45,074 half the weight of your pillow's, like, bugs? 49 00:02:45,158 --> 00:02:47,576 - What's up? - I just wanted to get my jacket. 50 00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:49,120 Oh, my God. 51 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,830 Bertie... 52 00:02:50,914 --> 00:02:52,081 you look fucking hot. 53 00:02:52,165 --> 00:02:54,167 - Really? - Very hot. 54 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,252 Thank you. Um, can I get my jacket? 55 00:02:56,335 --> 00:02:58,046 Oh, the denim one? Yeah. 56 00:02:58,129 --> 00:03:00,339 So, uh, are you stoked for tonight? 57 00:03:00,423 --> 00:03:02,425 - Yeah. A little nervous. - What? 58 00:03:02,508 --> 00:03:05,261 No! You shouldn't be. Gus is a sweetheart. 59 00:03:05,344 --> 00:03:06,637 I have a really good feeling about this. 60 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,639 Well, you know what? I've been thinking about it, 61 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,349 and I have high hopes. 62 00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:12,060 That's the spirit. 63 00:03:12,143 --> 00:03:13,853 And thank you so much for setting this up. 64 00:03:13,937 --> 00:03:16,772 It makes me feel good, 'cause I know you think he's nice, 65 00:03:16,856 --> 00:03:19,442 which means you think I'm nice, so I'm on your nice list. 66 00:03:19,525 --> 00:03:21,735 So, it's like that thing where if someone says to you, 67 00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:24,155 "Hey, do you have someone nice you can set my friend up with?" 68 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,824 - That's me. - Yeah. 69 00:03:25,907 --> 00:03:27,450 I'm a very big fan of Bertie. 70 00:03:27,533 --> 00:03:29,869 And you deserve to be with a guy like Gus. 71 00:03:29,953 --> 00:03:31,287 - Here you go. - Thank you. 72 00:03:32,205 --> 00:03:34,457 So, what's going on? Are you guys going to dinner? 73 00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:36,292 - I think so. - Anything after? 74 00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:38,752 I dunno. Maybe we'll hang out. Should we come back here? 75 00:03:38,837 --> 00:03:40,421 Will you be here? Or asleep? 76 00:03:40,504 --> 00:03:41,923 I'll just keep my door closed, 77 00:03:42,006 --> 00:03:43,883 and text me, "Had a good night," on your way home, 78 00:03:43,967 --> 00:03:45,384 and I'll know you guys are gonna do it. 79 00:03:45,468 --> 00:03:47,053 Oh, I couldn't move that fast. 80 00:03:47,136 --> 00:03:50,431 Also, my period ended yesterday, so I really don't feel like... 81 00:03:50,514 --> 00:03:52,266 I don't know, maybe I should just suck him off? 82 00:03:53,142 --> 00:03:54,811 I can't tell you whether or not to blow somebody. 83 00:03:54,894 --> 00:03:56,062 I can't be held responsible. 84 00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,815 Do you give blowjobs on a first date? 85 00:03:58,898 --> 00:04:01,400 Um, I have given blowjobs on a first date. 86 00:04:01,484 --> 00:04:04,070 I've only done it twice, and neither turned out ideal. 87 00:04:04,153 --> 00:04:05,696 I mean, I don't want to be the kind of person 88 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,240 who doesn't give blowjobs, 89 00:04:07,323 --> 00:04:08,992 but if they're not any good... 90 00:04:09,492 --> 00:04:12,120 Who cares? I should give more. I deserve to have fun. 91 00:04:12,203 --> 00:04:13,704 Fuck, yeah. 92 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,832 I mean, I don't know why I make such a big deal out of it. 93 00:04:15,915 --> 00:04:19,293 Everyone says that blowjobs are, like, the new making out. 94 00:04:19,377 --> 00:04:21,379 Look, there are risks either way. 95 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,714 I gave a guy an amazing blowjob on a first date, 96 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,508 and he wouldn't stop calling me for three years. 97 00:04:25,591 --> 00:04:29,012 I couldn't shake him. So there are pros to giving a bad blowjob. 98 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,516 What? 99 00:04:34,433 --> 00:04:35,768 You look so pretty. 100 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,068 Oh, he's almost here. 101 00:04:46,445 --> 00:04:47,613 - Um... - You know what? Don't worry about it. 102 00:04:47,696 --> 00:04:48,781 Just finish getting ready. 103 00:04:48,865 --> 00:04:50,616 - I will answer the door. - Thank you. 104 00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:55,454 - Oh, hey, Gus. Come on in. - Hey. 105 00:04:55,538 --> 00:04:56,747 Bertie's still getting ready. 106 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,749 Okay. Sure. 107 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,751 Yeah, sorry, I'm a little early. 108 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,003 You always are. 109 00:05:02,086 --> 00:05:04,588 Yes. It's my trademark. 110 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:07,091 So, you gonna take Bertie out to dinner? 111 00:05:07,175 --> 00:05:09,093 Yeah. Yeah, we're going to this place... 112 00:05:09,177 --> 00:05:11,554 uh, Tucker's, it's called. 113 00:05:11,637 --> 00:05:13,431 Tucker's. I never heard of it. 114 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:14,723 Yeah, I hadn't either. 115 00:05:14,807 --> 00:05:17,685 But a foodie friend of mine, she usually knows what's up, 116 00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:18,978 and she told me to go, so... 117 00:05:19,062 --> 00:05:21,940 - Ugh. - What? What are you reading? 118 00:05:22,023 --> 00:05:24,067 I'm not reading a good review on Yelp. 119 00:05:24,150 --> 00:05:28,112 Oh. Oh. "The calamari seemed frozen." 120 00:05:28,196 --> 00:05:31,824 Shit. That's not good, hmm? 121 00:05:31,908 --> 00:05:33,117 Mmm, you know what? 122 00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:35,869 Fuck it, 'cause this is usually just one pissed off dude 123 00:05:35,954 --> 00:05:39,165 who had a bad experience and then wrote, like, 50 bad reviews. 124 00:05:39,248 --> 00:05:40,874 Oh, that's nice of you to say, 125 00:05:40,959 --> 00:05:42,835 but I don't think Yelp allows you to do that. 126 00:05:42,918 --> 00:05:44,212 Oh, you'd be surprised. 127 00:05:44,295 --> 00:05:45,754 This dry cleaner fucked up my jacket, 128 00:05:45,838 --> 00:05:47,756 and I created all these fake email addresses, 129 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,092 and wrote all these bad reviews. 130 00:05:49,175 --> 00:05:51,052 It took all day, but it felt great. 131 00:05:51,135 --> 00:05:54,763 Oh. Well, do me a favor. 132 00:05:54,847 --> 00:05:56,807 Go on to Yelp and, uh, write some good reviews 133 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,101 for this fucking dump we're going to. 134 00:05:58,184 --> 00:05:59,893 - Can do. - All right. Good. 135 00:05:59,978 --> 00:06:01,770 What are you two giggling about? 136 00:06:01,854 --> 00:06:03,856 Oh, uh, nothing. 137 00:06:03,939 --> 00:06:09,153 Uh, Mickey was saying that the place we're going to is, uh, not so good. 138 00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:13,074 So, uh, I guess there's some bad Yelp reviews. 139 00:06:13,157 --> 00:06:15,201 But maybe we should go somewhere else then? 140 00:06:15,284 --> 00:06:16,785 - I don't know. - No, I think that's good. 141 00:06:16,869 --> 00:06:18,829 Let's go and let's just see what it's like. 142 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:21,040 And even if it's bad, we should write a good review 143 00:06:21,124 --> 00:06:22,125 because we're nice. 144 00:06:22,208 --> 00:06:24,543 Yes, I agree. Perfect. 145 00:06:24,627 --> 00:06:26,462 Well, should we, uh... 146 00:06:26,545 --> 00:06:27,838 should we hit the road? 147 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,090 - Let's do it. - All right. 148 00:06:29,173 --> 00:06:32,010 Oh, my God. You're so cute. Look at this. 149 00:06:32,093 --> 00:06:35,304 In a year, I'm gonna be bragging that I introduced you at your wedding. 150 00:06:35,388 --> 00:06:38,016 - Oh, well I... - Oh. 151 00:06:38,099 --> 00:06:40,184 Oh, did I make it weird? I made it weird. 152 00:06:40,268 --> 00:06:42,770 - No. - No. No. 153 00:06:42,853 --> 00:06:44,688 - Let's go. - Okay, cool. 154 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,441 Just a heads up, my car sort of smells like McDonald's. 155 00:06:47,525 --> 00:06:48,609 Oh, great! 156 00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:53,406 Sorry, I slammed that door harder than I meant to. 157 00:06:53,489 --> 00:06:55,449 - It's fine. It's just a door. - Right. 158 00:06:57,743 --> 00:06:59,037 - Here's your table. - Thank you. 159 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,204 Thank you. 160 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,541 - Thank you. - Mmm-hmm. 161 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:06,127 - Thank you. - And your waiter will be right with you. 162 00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:07,920 - Oh, great. Thank you. - Awesome. Thank you. 163 00:07:08,003 --> 00:07:09,130 - Thank you. - Thanks. 164 00:07:09,213 --> 00:07:10,298 Thanks a lot. 165 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,550 Wow. 166 00:07:14,052 --> 00:07:16,179 - Nice place. - I know, right? 167 00:07:16,262 --> 00:07:17,846 - Fancy. - Yeah. 168 00:07:19,098 --> 00:07:22,185 And, um, you look great, by the way. 169 00:07:22,268 --> 00:07:25,313 Aw, thank you. You look really nice, too. 170 00:07:25,396 --> 00:07:27,148 Aw, thanks. 171 00:07:27,231 --> 00:07:29,942 We both clean up good. We should be proud. 172 00:07:30,026 --> 00:07:34,988 So I lend this bag of dicks $5,000, okay? 173 00:07:35,073 --> 00:07:37,491 Says, "Can I pay you back in three months?" 174 00:07:37,575 --> 00:07:40,036 I don't even think about it. I keep my mouth shut. 175 00:07:40,119 --> 00:07:42,788 Three months go past, I don't have any money in my pocket, 176 00:07:42,871 --> 00:07:45,124 and the motherfucker comes up to me 177 00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:46,667 and he asked me for another two grand. 178 00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:47,918 - No, he didn't! - You wanna look at him? 179 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,588 I have a very strong mental image of what he looks like, 180 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,381 so I really don't need to actually look at him. 181 00:07:52,465 --> 00:07:55,634 - Oh, what is it? - A flat, four-foot... 182 00:07:55,718 --> 00:07:59,138 - Mmm-hmm. - ...but very big, very wide, 183 00:07:59,222 --> 00:08:00,598 but very small man. 184 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,391 Like, a sleeveless t-shirt, 185 00:08:02,475 --> 00:08:04,227 and one of those, like, you know those things 186 00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:06,104 that miners wear with, like, the light on? 187 00:08:06,187 --> 00:08:08,231 - Sure. Yeah. - Yeah. No pants. 188 00:08:08,314 --> 00:08:10,774 All to a tee. 189 00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,693 Good evening. My name is Ben. 190 00:08:12,776 --> 00:08:13,986 - Hello, Ben. - Hello. 191 00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:15,488 Just so you know, we have a special tonight, 192 00:08:15,571 --> 00:08:19,492 the steak, dry-aged 30 days, Wagyu beef, 193 00:08:19,575 --> 00:08:22,411 mint on top, medium rare. It melts in your mouth. 194 00:08:22,495 --> 00:08:24,705 I had it last night and it knocked me out. 195 00:08:24,788 --> 00:08:26,707 - Wow, that sounds so good. - Yeah. 196 00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:27,916 I'll give you guys some time. 197 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,086 Can I start you with some water? Sparkling? Tap? 198 00:08:30,169 --> 00:08:32,255 - Uh... tap? - Oh, yeah, sparkling. 199 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:36,842 Sparkling. 200 00:08:36,925 --> 00:08:38,802 - Yeah, cool. - Okay. I'll be right back. 201 00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:41,180 - Great. Great. - Thank you. Thanks, again. 202 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:49,313 Mmm. Mmm-mmm. 203 00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:56,654 This kid die or what? 204 00:09:15,298 --> 00:09:17,591 Get... Grandpa! Stop eating yourself out. 205 00:09:17,675 --> 00:09:19,260 Get out of here! 206 00:09:25,641 --> 00:09:28,269 And now, you're just a few steps away from having your home 207 00:09:28,352 --> 00:09:30,313 just the way you want it. 208 00:09:30,396 --> 00:09:32,523 Now on to design tip number 15: 209 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:36,610 maximizing living space by limiting yourself to just a few large items. 210 00:09:36,694 --> 00:09:38,321 {an8}I like to use the three-day rule. 211 00:09:38,404 --> 00:09:41,199 {an8}Start by removing anything you don't use in three days. 212 00:09:41,282 --> 00:09:43,992 That will help you get rid of all unwanted clutter. 213 00:09:44,076 --> 00:09:47,621 You'll find that moving only one or two items will get the job done. 214 00:09:47,705 --> 00:09:49,457 And that's all there is to it. 215 00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:52,585 Following these steps will give you the living room of your dreams. 216 00:09:52,668 --> 00:09:54,545 - Oh, thank you. - Thank you. 217 00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,797 And can I get you guys started with some drinks? 218 00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,718 Yeah. I'd love to get a glass of red wine, if there's anything you could recommend. 219 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,804 Yeah, yeah. We have a NorCal Malbec that I'm quite fond of, 220 00:10:03,887 --> 00:10:05,223 - right there. - Oh, great. 221 00:10:05,306 --> 00:10:09,227 - And for you, sir? - Um, yeah, could I just get a sea breeze? 222 00:10:09,310 --> 00:10:10,769 - Sea breeze. - Yeah. 223 00:10:10,853 --> 00:10:12,938 - I can hook you up. - Cool. 224 00:10:13,021 --> 00:10:16,817 - Great. Nice guy. - Very cool. Very cool. 225 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:20,279 - A little cold in here. - Yeah. 226 00:10:20,363 --> 00:10:22,114 I just noticed there's, like, an air conditioning vent, 227 00:10:22,198 --> 00:10:23,241 like, right above you. 228 00:10:23,324 --> 00:10:25,493 It's just blasting cold air on you. Are you okay? 229 00:10:25,576 --> 00:10:26,827 Yeah, no, I'm fine. 230 00:10:26,910 --> 00:10:28,829 - Do you wanna switch seats or... - No, no, please. I'm fine. 231 00:10:28,912 --> 00:10:31,123 - You want my jacket? - I'm absolutely fine, but thank you. 232 00:10:31,207 --> 00:10:32,583 Okay. Just let me know. 233 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:34,502 I mean, if you get uncomfortable or anything... 234 00:10:40,299 --> 00:10:42,385 Uh, so you were saying you're a tutor? 235 00:10:42,468 --> 00:10:44,678 I'm sorry, what? I didn't... Couldn't hear you. 236 00:10:44,762 --> 00:10:47,973 Oh, that's okay. People say I always mumble. Um... 237 00:10:48,056 --> 00:10:50,142 No, no, no. I just have terrible hearing. 238 00:10:50,226 --> 00:10:51,435 That's fine. 239 00:10:51,519 --> 00:10:53,562 Well, we're both crippled. 240 00:10:53,646 --> 00:10:55,773 Um, you were saying you're a tutor? 241 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,733 A tutor, yes. Yeah. 242 00:10:57,816 --> 00:11:01,445 Uh, on-set teacher for the show, um, Witchita. 243 00:11:01,529 --> 00:11:04,197 So the kids on the show, you're like their school? 244 00:11:04,282 --> 00:11:06,992 Uh, yeah, basically. 245 00:11:07,075 --> 00:11:09,119 What about you? What do you do? 246 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:12,706 Oh, I work for this company called Golden Coast Research and Surveys. 247 00:11:12,790 --> 00:11:14,542 We specialize in focus groups. 248 00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:16,294 Oh. Fun. 249 00:11:16,377 --> 00:11:19,588 And you, like... you moderate the focus groups or... 250 00:11:19,672 --> 00:11:21,465 Oh, I don't really like to think of it as moderating. 251 00:11:21,549 --> 00:11:23,384 I think it's more like interacting. 252 00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:26,011 So what I do is I try to get a dialogue going 253 00:11:26,094 --> 00:11:27,262 and then I just listen. 254 00:11:27,346 --> 00:11:28,889 That's what I love about my job. 255 00:11:28,972 --> 00:11:31,684 It's about listening, and it's about working together, 256 00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:33,519 and creating a consensus, 257 00:11:33,602 --> 00:11:35,896 and then giving that information to corporations, 258 00:11:35,979 --> 00:11:37,731 so that they can make better products for consumers. 259 00:11:37,815 --> 00:11:40,568 That's a cool perspective, 'cause I feel like a lot of times, 260 00:11:40,651 --> 00:11:43,111 the way people talk about focus groups, is, like... 261 00:11:43,195 --> 00:11:44,655 They rag on 'em, you know, 'cause it's like, 262 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,783 "Oh, they dumb things down," or "They water things down," or... 263 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,202 That came out rude. I didn't mean it. 264 00:11:50,285 --> 00:11:52,913 No, I understand. I mean, I disagree, but, um... 265 00:11:52,996 --> 00:11:55,374 I disagree, too. I don't feel that way. It's just, like, other... 266 00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:58,043 You know what? I'm gonna have a quick look at the menu 267 00:11:58,126 --> 00:12:00,295 'cause I really wanna decide what I'm gonna order, 268 00:12:00,379 --> 00:12:02,756 and it's hard for me to concentrate if we... 269 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,174 - We keep talking. Yeah, no. - Yeah. 270 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,427 I know. I always think about that, like, at a restaurant. 271 00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:07,553 I'm always like, 272 00:12:07,636 --> 00:12:11,264 "Hey, when do we just stop talking, and focus on the... the menu?" 273 00:12:11,349 --> 00:12:13,892 - So, um. Yeah. - The shower head started to leak. 274 00:12:13,976 --> 00:12:16,687 Bam! The shower head blast off! 275 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,731 - It did? - Yeah. 276 00:12:18,814 --> 00:12:20,858 And I'm sorry, but, uh, a shower head 277 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,651 is the last thing I want coming at me when I'm naked. 278 00:12:22,735 --> 00:12:25,112 No doubt! 279 00:12:25,195 --> 00:12:27,740 Boom! Ahh! 280 00:12:30,075 --> 00:12:31,744 All right, here we are. 281 00:12:31,827 --> 00:12:34,705 Red wine for you, sir, and a sea breeze for the lady. 282 00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,331 Oh, thank you, but actually, it's... 283 00:12:36,415 --> 00:12:38,125 - Yeah. - What happened? Oh! Oh, man... 284 00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:39,418 Oh, no, how did I mess that up? 285 00:12:39,502 --> 00:12:41,587 - No, it's okay. - Oh, I feel terrible. 286 00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:43,672 You know what? Those drinks are on the house. 287 00:12:43,756 --> 00:12:45,007 - Oh, seriously? - Yeah. 288 00:12:45,090 --> 00:12:47,217 From me to you, on the house, just because. 289 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,888 - That's nice. Thank you. - Wow. That is very generous. Thank you. 290 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,015 - And I think we might be ready to order. - Sounds great. 291 00:12:53,098 --> 00:12:55,350 Give me just one moment. I'll be right back. 292 00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:56,602 - Oh. - Okay. 293 00:12:58,896 --> 00:13:00,398 Nice. Free drinks. 294 00:13:00,481 --> 00:13:03,692 Yeah, it's a bit of a move, though, on his end. 295 00:13:03,776 --> 00:13:05,736 You know, waiters do that. They give you free drinks, 296 00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:09,031 so you give 'em a bigger tip and order more food. 297 00:13:09,114 --> 00:13:11,033 I mean, he doesn't lose anything by giving us free drinks. 298 00:13:11,116 --> 00:13:12,493 It's all gain for him. 299 00:13:12,576 --> 00:13:15,579 It's cool. I'm just saying he's not that nice of a guy. 300 00:13:16,955 --> 00:13:18,541 You wanna toast? 301 00:13:18,624 --> 00:13:20,083 - Yeah? Let's toast. - Sure. 302 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,377 - To what? - Uh, well, 303 00:13:22,461 --> 00:13:23,671 Frank Sinatra used to say, 304 00:13:23,754 --> 00:13:25,923 "May you all live to be 100 years old. 305 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:31,094 And me, 100 years old minus one day so I don't have to see you die." 306 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,471 Huh. Did he really say that? 307 00:13:32,555 --> 00:13:33,597 I think so. 308 00:13:33,681 --> 00:13:35,307 - Cheers. - Cheers. 309 00:13:37,893 --> 00:13:39,562 You know what? I don't care what Yelp says. 310 00:13:39,645 --> 00:13:40,854 I'm liking this place. 311 00:13:40,938 --> 00:13:43,273 Yeah, me, too. It's not so bad. 312 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,358 Mickey said you can't trust that anyway. 313 00:13:45,443 --> 00:13:47,570 Like, usually it's just, like, one angry guy who has, 314 00:13:47,653 --> 00:13:50,197 like, a bunch of different accounts, who writes a bunch of bad reviews. 315 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,741 She did that to a Thai place once. 316 00:13:52,825 --> 00:13:54,618 She told me she did it with the dry cleaners. 317 00:13:54,702 --> 00:13:57,496 Oh, she did both. Mickey's a badass. I love her. 318 00:13:57,580 --> 00:14:00,248 Aw. Such a badass. Yeah, she's awesome. 319 00:14:00,332 --> 00:14:01,459 She keeps me cool. 320 00:14:01,542 --> 00:14:02,585 - Yeah. - Both of us. 321 00:14:02,668 --> 00:14:04,377 I think maybe that's why she set us up. 322 00:14:04,462 --> 00:14:07,255 Oh, yeah. Like... like, what do you mean? 323 00:14:08,173 --> 00:14:10,425 Oh, you know, just, like, she's a lot cooler than me 324 00:14:10,509 --> 00:14:13,471 and you're, like, a really nice guy, but... 325 00:14:13,554 --> 00:14:14,680 - Right. - Uh, never mind. 326 00:14:14,763 --> 00:14:16,264 - I don't think I said that right. - Oh. 327 00:14:16,348 --> 00:14:20,227 Yeah, like, Mickey just hangs out with the cool kids. 328 00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:21,437 Like, I'm not a cool kid. 329 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,105 Oh, I wouldn't put it that way. 330 00:14:23,188 --> 00:14:25,315 What? I mean, come on. 331 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,568 Yeah. Yeah. 332 00:14:27,651 --> 00:14:31,071 No, it's cool. I just... I didn't know she was such a puppeteer. 333 00:14:31,154 --> 00:14:33,115 - I don't think that's what's... No. - Okay. 334 00:14:33,198 --> 00:14:34,533 Okay. No, it's cool. 335 00:14:34,617 --> 00:14:36,201 I didn't... 336 00:14:36,284 --> 00:14:37,661 It's fine. Um... 337 00:14:39,037 --> 00:14:40,789 - Ugh. - You're still cold? 338 00:14:40,873 --> 00:14:42,332 I've adjusted to it. I like it. 339 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:45,335 Don't suffer just so other people are comfortable. 340 00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,129 I used to be that person. You know, I used to be 341 00:14:47,212 --> 00:14:49,965 somebody who was, like, afraid to ask for things because 342 00:14:50,048 --> 00:14:52,092 out of fear or whatever. Just tell me. 343 00:14:52,175 --> 00:14:53,844 If you're uncomfortable, just say you're uncomfortable. 344 00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,179 - It's fine. - Sue me, I don't like shrimp! 345 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,640 I love shrimp! 346 00:14:57,723 --> 00:15:01,143 Are you kidding? They're horrible! They're all veiny. They look like insects! 347 00:15:01,226 --> 00:15:03,270 Hey, let me ask you this. Hey, buddy, let me ask you this. 348 00:15:03,353 --> 00:15:06,064 Uh, between a horse and... 349 00:15:06,148 --> 00:15:08,609 and a ferret and, um, a shrimp, 350 00:15:08,692 --> 00:15:10,110 which one looks more like an insect? 351 00:15:10,193 --> 00:15:13,321 Hey, glasses! Come on. Shrimp, thumbs up, thumbs down? 352 00:15:13,405 --> 00:15:15,032 - Which? - I don't know. 353 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,492 - Thumbs up? - Wrong! 354 00:15:16,575 --> 00:15:18,243 Why don't we just switch tables? 355 00:15:18,326 --> 00:15:20,496 'Cause they're being loud, and I can tell they're annoying you, 356 00:15:20,579 --> 00:15:22,039 - and you're cold... - Oh, really... 357 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,124 ...and I think it'd just be better if we... Just let me ask. 358 00:15:24,207 --> 00:15:26,043 - Okay. - Let's just see if it's possible, okay? 359 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,127 Sure. 360 00:15:27,210 --> 00:15:30,130 Excuse me? Hi, um, could I... 361 00:15:30,213 --> 00:15:32,132 Okay. So... 362 00:15:32,841 --> 00:15:34,051 Excuse me? 363 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:37,763 Who am I, fucking Invisible Man? 364 00:15:37,846 --> 00:15:39,056 Oh, no. 365 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,559 Nothing more emasculating than, like, not being noticed. 366 00:15:41,642 --> 00:15:44,102 I might as well just take this knife, you know, 367 00:15:44,186 --> 00:15:45,395 just come in here and cut my dick off. 368 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,816 - Oh, God. - Um... excuse me. 369 00:15:48,899 --> 00:15:51,652 Our waiter's not seeing me. I'm just gonna talk to him. 370 00:15:51,735 --> 00:15:53,529 - I really don't need to... - No, no, no. It's cool. 371 00:15:53,612 --> 00:15:56,323 - It's gonna be fine. It's good, it's good. - Okay. 372 00:15:57,575 --> 00:15:58,909 Uh, excuse me? 373 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,035 I'm sorry. 374 00:16:00,118 --> 00:16:01,328 Excuse me? 375 00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:03,413 Excuse me? 376 00:16:04,582 --> 00:16:06,333 - Can we switch tables? - What's the problem? 377 00:16:12,673 --> 00:16:15,300 I am so sorry about the air conditioner. 378 00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:17,761 Let's get you somewhere else before you freeze, huh? 379 00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:19,096 - Uh, sure. Thanks. - Okay. 380 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,473 Cool. Yeah, she's just not having a good time, so... 381 00:16:21,557 --> 00:16:23,016 No problem. No, it happens all the time. 382 00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:24,643 - And I guess... - No, you don't have to bring... 383 00:16:24,727 --> 00:16:25,894 - You sure? - You can bring it if you want. 384 00:16:25,978 --> 00:16:27,104 Someone else will get that. That's okay. 385 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,815 - Okay. I'll put that there. - All right. 386 00:16:29,898 --> 00:16:31,942 - And, uh, the drinks, too, or should... - Nope. 387 00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,819 - Oh. Okay, cool. - Yeah. 388 00:16:41,243 --> 00:16:43,245 Ow! Fuck! 389 00:16:51,629 --> 00:16:54,590 Hey, it's Dianne. Leave a message. 390 00:16:54,673 --> 00:16:57,300 Hey, Dianne. It's Mickey from AA. 391 00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:00,470 I'm picking up the phone instead of picking up a drink. 392 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:04,224 Currently arranging my books by color, so looking for something to do. 393 00:17:04,307 --> 00:17:07,019 If you could give me a call, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks. 394 00:17:09,772 --> 00:17:13,066 So that'll be two steaks. One medium-well, one rare. 395 00:17:13,150 --> 00:17:14,860 And I'll get those appetizers out to you right away. 396 00:17:14,943 --> 00:17:16,403 - Thank you. - Aw, great. Thank you. 397 00:17:16,486 --> 00:17:19,072 And thank you so much for letting us switch tables. Appreciate it. 398 00:17:19,156 --> 00:17:20,532 Of course. 399 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,036 I hope I wasn't too much of a dick to that guy. 400 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,955 Did I seem like a dick, with the switching tables and everything? 401 00:17:27,039 --> 00:17:30,583 I'm just having a hard time getting a read on him, right? 402 00:17:30,668 --> 00:17:31,752 Yeah? Don't you think? 403 00:17:31,835 --> 00:17:33,712 He seems fine. 404 00:17:33,796 --> 00:17:35,964 I just don't want him to be, like, pissed off at me and then, like, 405 00:17:36,048 --> 00:17:37,841 get revenge on me with the food, or whatever. 406 00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:40,093 How? By poisoning you? 407 00:17:40,177 --> 00:17:43,013 No, just, like, by... I don't know, messing with my food. 408 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,933 You know, like, not washing his hands and touching it. 409 00:17:46,016 --> 00:17:49,687 Or, like, rubbing a booger on my steak, or putting a booger in my drink. 410 00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:50,979 Oh, I can't hear that. I'll be sick. 411 00:17:51,063 --> 00:17:52,522 I'm sorry. That's not me. 412 00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,817 I'm not like the gross guy. 413 00:17:55,818 --> 00:17:58,946 I was just trying to make you laugh or... 414 00:17:59,029 --> 00:18:01,489 Is this weird? Should we have moved? 415 00:18:01,573 --> 00:18:03,533 I feel like we fucked up, and we shouldn't have moved. 416 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,453 'Cause now we're next to the, like, this hostess stand here 417 00:18:06,536 --> 00:18:10,791 and that waiter station where people keep coming by and being noisy. 418 00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:14,211 Smells like bleach, right? Do you smell bleach? 419 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,088 Maybe we should ask if we can get our old table back. 420 00:18:16,171 --> 00:18:17,965 Okay, yeah, let's do that. 421 00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:19,675 I'm kidding. 422 00:18:19,758 --> 00:18:20,884 Oh. 423 00:18:20,968 --> 00:18:22,260 Okay. Funny. 424 00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:26,473 'Cause, yeah, that would be crazy if we switched twice. Yeah. 425 00:19:04,261 --> 00:19:05,721 Oh, God. 426 00:19:05,804 --> 00:19:07,765 All right, time for those steaks. 427 00:19:07,848 --> 00:19:09,641 - Thank you. - Ooh. Thank you. 428 00:19:09,725 --> 00:19:10,768 - Bon appétit! - Thanks. 429 00:19:10,851 --> 00:19:11,894 Thanks. 430 00:19:14,062 --> 00:19:15,898 - Looks good, huh? - Mmm. 431 00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:19,692 - It's a little bloody, isn't it? - Nope. 432 00:19:23,030 --> 00:19:25,698 - Eating, like, tiny mouse bites. - No, it's good. 433 00:19:25,783 --> 00:19:28,076 If a mouse ate that, he'd say, "Can I have more?" 434 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,787 This is just how I eat. 435 00:19:29,870 --> 00:19:31,538 'Cause if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. 436 00:19:31,621 --> 00:19:34,374 That is, like, really bloody. 437 00:19:34,457 --> 00:19:37,210 The less you talk about the blood, it's... That's better for me. 438 00:19:37,294 --> 00:19:38,796 I'm just gonna have them take it back. 439 00:19:38,879 --> 00:19:40,588 - No, no, no. No! - It's really... It's okay. 440 00:19:40,672 --> 00:19:43,842 - Hey! Come on. - Hey, whoa! Jesus. Okay. 441 00:19:43,926 --> 00:19:46,261 Don't eat it fast just so I don't return it. 442 00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:51,349 I'm sorry, please excuse me. I have to use the restroom. 443 00:19:51,433 --> 00:19:53,560 Okay. Hey. Wait, wait, wait. Are you choking? 444 00:19:53,643 --> 00:19:56,229 - I'm not choking. - Okay. 445 00:19:56,313 --> 00:19:58,148 Well... you... 446 00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,108 I really don't need you to take me to the bathroom. 447 00:20:00,192 --> 00:20:01,609 - Okay. - 'Kay. 448 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,826 Oh, excuse me. Sorry. 449 00:20:27,677 --> 00:20:28,887 Fuck. 450 00:20:31,556 --> 00:20:33,350 And how is everything here? Are you finished? 451 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:35,894 Uh... no. 452 00:20:37,354 --> 00:20:39,982 I'm not... I mean, her steak is a little bloody. 453 00:20:40,065 --> 00:20:42,985 So maybe we can take it back, make it well done. 454 00:20:44,987 --> 00:20:46,738 You want me to take it off the bill? 455 00:20:46,822 --> 00:20:49,574 - No. You don't have to do that. - No? Oh. 456 00:20:49,657 --> 00:20:52,577 - Problem with yours, though? - No. 457 00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:55,247 No, I'm just a slow eater. 458 00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:56,581 Mmm-hmm. 459 00:20:57,833 --> 00:21:00,668 Hey, um... I think... 460 00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:04,840 I think she sent me a text that she meant to send to her friend. 461 00:21:04,923 --> 00:21:07,300 Is it bad? 462 00:21:07,384 --> 00:21:09,928 Yeah, it's pretty bad. 463 00:21:10,012 --> 00:21:14,099 I'll tell you what, bro. I'm gonna take care of this steak for you. 464 00:21:14,182 --> 00:21:16,268 You know what? 465 00:21:16,351 --> 00:21:18,103 - Leave her steak. - Okay. 466 00:21:18,186 --> 00:21:20,647 It's... it's perfect. It's... 467 00:21:20,730 --> 00:21:22,900 it's the perfect level of bloodiness. 468 00:21:25,027 --> 00:21:26,486 Okay. 469 00:21:32,575 --> 00:21:33,869 - Hey. - Hey. 470 00:21:33,952 --> 00:21:35,703 Did I miss anything? 471 00:21:35,787 --> 00:21:37,664 Nope. Don't think so. 472 00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:43,503 - It's good. - Mmm-hmm. 473 00:21:43,586 --> 00:21:45,755 - Can I have a sip? - Of my wine? 474 00:21:46,714 --> 00:21:48,633 Yeah. Can I have a little sip? 475 00:21:48,716 --> 00:21:50,760 Uh, sure. 476 00:21:56,058 --> 00:21:58,810 Mmm... Mmm. 477 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,857 - That's good. - Yeah, it is. 478 00:22:04,942 --> 00:22:07,069 - Can I have another sip? - Yep, go... Yeah. 479 00:22:10,238 --> 00:22:11,323 Ugh... 480 00:22:11,406 --> 00:22:13,075 You ever get that thing where you don't wipe very well 481 00:22:13,158 --> 00:22:14,326 and your asshole's all itchy? 482 00:22:16,328 --> 00:22:19,164 I don't know that I have had that. 483 00:22:19,247 --> 00:22:22,084 I know that's not the most appropriate table talk, it's just... 484 00:22:22,167 --> 00:22:24,002 - Yeah, it's a little gross. - It's what's on my mind, 485 00:22:24,086 --> 00:22:26,713 so I'm just kind of, like, dealin' with it right now. 486 00:22:26,796 --> 00:22:28,966 If I, like, kind of move it across the seat, 487 00:22:29,049 --> 00:22:30,342 I get the scratch. 488 00:22:31,259 --> 00:22:33,761 I'm just trying to get that butthole scratch, you know? 489 00:22:34,762 --> 00:22:37,265 Fuck. I forgot to text my buddy. 490 00:22:37,349 --> 00:22:38,766 It's his birthday today. Do you mind? 491 00:22:38,850 --> 00:22:40,893 Oh, no, that's fine. 492 00:22:40,978 --> 00:22:43,063 Text this motherfucker. That fuck. 493 00:22:47,525 --> 00:22:49,152 {an8}That son of a bitch. 494 00:22:49,236 --> 00:22:50,820 {an8}He's a maniac. He's a madman. 495 00:22:52,655 --> 00:22:55,325 {an8}We used to hang out a lot in college. 496 00:22:55,408 --> 00:22:57,285 {an8}Happy birthday. 497 00:23:01,539 --> 00:23:02,957 {an8}You son of a bitch. 498 00:23:14,261 --> 00:23:16,471 Oh, my God. Poor Bertie. 499 00:23:45,375 --> 00:23:49,587 Yeah, I mean, if Boston didn't just have, like, the coldest winter ever last year, 500 00:23:49,671 --> 00:23:51,381 then maybe I'd agree with you 501 00:23:51,464 --> 00:23:54,592 that there's such a thing as, uh, "global warming." 502 00:23:54,676 --> 00:23:55,760 There is scientific research 503 00:23:55,843 --> 00:23:58,055 that says that climate change is definitely happening. 504 00:23:58,138 --> 00:23:59,264 Climate change? 505 00:23:59,347 --> 00:24:01,308 Climate change is like Valentine's Day. 506 00:24:01,391 --> 00:24:04,394 It's just some fake thing a corporation made up, you know, 507 00:24:04,477 --> 00:24:05,895 in order to make money. 508 00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:09,607 It's like Santa Claus. You know who invented Santa Claus, right? 509 00:24:09,691 --> 00:24:10,983 Coca-Cola Company. 510 00:24:11,068 --> 00:24:12,777 And are we all finished here? 511 00:24:12,860 --> 00:24:14,946 Uh, you know what? No, I'm still picking on it. 512 00:24:15,029 --> 00:24:17,990 {an8}It's just so good. I, like, wanna savor every ounce of it. 513 00:24:18,075 --> 00:24:19,742 {an8}It's, like, the best steak I've ever had. 514 00:24:19,826 --> 00:24:21,328 Okay. 515 00:24:21,411 --> 00:24:22,704 Miss? 516 00:24:22,787 --> 00:24:24,747 Oh, I'm done. 517 00:24:24,831 --> 00:24:27,167 Thank you. That was fantastic. 518 00:24:28,335 --> 00:24:29,961 All I'm saying is, 519 00:24:30,044 --> 00:24:33,465 if global warming's real, then I'll sign a petition to end it. 520 00:24:33,548 --> 00:24:36,718 But until then, I'm just gonna assume it's another myth the government's telling us. 521 00:24:36,801 --> 00:24:40,012 - Like 9/11. - Hmm? What? 522 00:24:40,097 --> 00:24:44,601 Yeah. No. Totally. Yeah, like 9/11. 523 00:24:44,684 --> 00:24:46,686 - You're... you're a truther, too? - Oh, yeah. 524 00:24:46,769 --> 00:24:50,648 I mean, any intelligent person can see the government was in on it. 525 00:24:50,732 --> 00:24:52,150 Why? Oil. 526 00:24:52,234 --> 00:24:53,943 - It was all about oil. - Mmm. 527 00:24:54,026 --> 00:24:56,028 The government helped the terrorists. 528 00:24:56,113 --> 00:24:58,740 If you can even consider what they did terrorism. 529 00:24:58,823 --> 00:25:00,908 - Yeah. - I mean, what is terrorism? 530 00:25:00,992 --> 00:25:03,495 It's just some people who believe in something, 531 00:25:03,578 --> 00:25:04,787 and they're willing to fight for it. 532 00:25:04,871 --> 00:25:07,915 I mean, terrorism is just, like, when you can't afford a battleship. 533 00:25:07,999 --> 00:25:09,709 Yeah! And you know how everyone's always like, 534 00:25:09,792 --> 00:25:12,587 "Oh, I don't support the war, but I support the troops?" 535 00:25:12,670 --> 00:25:15,215 Fuck that. I don't support the troops. 536 00:25:15,298 --> 00:25:17,592 - Wow. Okay. - Do you not agree? 537 00:25:17,675 --> 00:25:21,679 - No, I agree. Totally. Totally. - Yeah. 538 00:25:23,681 --> 00:25:24,932 I hate soldiers. 539 00:25:25,016 --> 00:25:27,977 But you know what I do like about soldiers? The guns. 540 00:25:32,899 --> 00:25:34,066 Oh. 541 00:25:48,498 --> 00:25:53,002 When I'm on Tinder, I'm like, "Black, nope. Hispanic, nope. 542 00:25:53,085 --> 00:25:55,547 - Asian, nope." - Ow! 543 00:25:55,630 --> 00:25:58,300 - What's wrong? - I think my dick fell asleep. 544 00:25:58,383 --> 00:26:01,886 I don't know if I, like, sat on it weird, or, like, pinched an artery, 545 00:26:01,969 --> 00:26:04,639 but, like... my big dick fell asleep. 546 00:26:04,722 --> 00:26:06,599 Oh, no. It fell asleep? Ouch. 547 00:26:06,683 --> 00:26:07,850 Yeah. Hey, you know what? 548 00:26:07,934 --> 00:26:11,771 I was thinking, maybe after we get out of here... 549 00:26:11,854 --> 00:26:13,356 ...we go hit up a strip club. 550 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:14,816 Great. That sounds like so much fun. 551 00:26:14,899 --> 00:26:17,360 Maybe we can wake up that numb dick of yours. 552 00:26:17,444 --> 00:26:18,778 Perfect. Hey, let's get out of here. 553 00:26:18,861 --> 00:26:20,488 - Let's do it. - Okay. 554 00:26:22,574 --> 00:26:23,700 Hmm. 555 00:26:25,743 --> 00:26:26,994 Oh, you're choking? 556 00:26:27,078 --> 00:26:29,331 Oh, no! I guess we can't go to the strip club. 557 00:26:29,414 --> 00:26:31,333 That is too bad. 558 00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:35,044 All right, let's wrap this up. 559 00:26:35,127 --> 00:26:38,047 Mickey was texting both of us. We all know. 560 00:26:39,173 --> 00:26:40,967 Look, I know you got my text, okay? 561 00:26:41,050 --> 00:26:43,094 What do you want me to say? It was embarrassing, 562 00:26:43,177 --> 00:26:44,762 for you and for me. 563 00:26:44,846 --> 00:26:48,225 I'm really sorry. It was terrible, but I didn't know what to say. 564 00:26:48,308 --> 00:26:50,852 It was all just a little bit much, 565 00:26:50,935 --> 00:26:53,480 with the moving from the tables, here and there. 566 00:26:54,814 --> 00:26:56,608 Stop it. I said I'm sorry, okay? 567 00:26:59,193 --> 00:27:01,238 Oh, my God, are you really choking? Is this real? 568 00:27:01,321 --> 00:27:03,240 Oh, my God. He's choking! Fuck! 569 00:27:03,323 --> 00:27:05,116 I got you! I got you, buddy. Here we go. 570 00:27:05,199 --> 00:27:06,243 There it is. 571 00:27:06,326 --> 00:27:07,702 Okay, there we go, buddy. Come on! Come on! 572 00:27:07,785 --> 00:27:08,828 It's not working. 573 00:27:08,911 --> 00:27:10,330 It's not working? Why is it not working? 574 00:27:10,413 --> 00:27:13,207 There it is. 575 00:27:22,467 --> 00:27:24,218 I'm okay. 576 00:27:25,262 --> 00:27:27,847 I'm sorry, my bad. I'll clean it up. 577 00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:32,101 It's okay. 578 00:27:32,184 --> 00:27:34,103 Seriously, sorry again. 579 00:27:34,186 --> 00:27:36,147 Well, it's okay. I started it. 580 00:27:37,064 --> 00:27:39,817 - Did you text Mickey yet? - No. You? 581 00:27:42,945 --> 00:27:45,323 Don't tell her what happened. She'll enjoy it too much. 582 00:27:45,407 --> 00:27:46,574 Okay. 583 00:27:52,705 --> 00:27:56,626 - Mickey? - Hey, Syd! How are ya? 584 00:27:56,709 --> 00:27:59,003 I just put my kid to bed. 585 00:27:59,086 --> 00:28:01,506 - Uh, you want a cigarette? - Please, God, yes. 586 00:28:02,882 --> 00:28:06,719 Oh, my God. If I have to read my kid The Giving Tree one more time, 587 00:28:06,803 --> 00:28:08,095 I'm gonna blow my brains out. 588 00:28:08,179 --> 00:28:10,056 God, I can't even imagine. 589 00:28:10,139 --> 00:28:13,017 I don't even know why he likes it. It's not fun. It's depressing. 590 00:28:13,100 --> 00:28:17,355 It's like the tree is some kind of codependent, 591 00:28:17,439 --> 00:28:19,148 who loves being a martyr. 592 00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:21,150 It's like, "Tree, we know you went to Catholic school. 593 00:28:21,233 --> 00:28:23,486 Just get in therapy." 594 00:28:24,821 --> 00:28:26,948 I was about to pour myself a glass of wine. You want one? 595 00:28:27,031 --> 00:28:29,200 Yeah. No. 596 00:28:29,909 --> 00:28:31,828 No. Uh... 597 00:28:33,245 --> 00:28:35,832 Today is my first day sober, again. 598 00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:37,834 Really? Wow. 599 00:28:39,126 --> 00:28:40,587 Yeah. 600 00:28:40,670 --> 00:28:43,465 I was sober for about 18 months there, 601 00:28:43,548 --> 00:28:45,842 but I was kind of lying towards the end. 602 00:28:45,925 --> 00:28:47,594 Mostly lying to AA people. 603 00:28:48,386 --> 00:28:49,721 I was in AA for a while. 604 00:28:49,804 --> 00:28:52,765 - You were? - Yeah, for three years. 605 00:28:52,849 --> 00:28:54,726 It wasn't really for me, though. 606 00:28:54,809 --> 00:28:58,646 I mean, it got me through a rough patch, but I'm better now, so... 607 00:29:01,566 --> 00:29:02,984 Yeah, well... 608 00:29:05,236 --> 00:29:07,489 Today was a rough day. 609 00:29:09,031 --> 00:29:11,618 You know how they say, "When you feel like picking up a drink, 610 00:29:11,701 --> 00:29:14,245 pick up a phone instead"? Well... 611 00:29:14,329 --> 00:29:15,830 that didn't really work for me, either. 612 00:29:15,913 --> 00:29:17,624 Yeah, I remember folks saying that. 613 00:29:17,707 --> 00:29:21,043 I don't know, I was always like, "If I feel like picking up a drink, 614 00:29:21,127 --> 00:29:23,004 I'm gonna pick up a drink." 615 00:29:23,087 --> 00:29:25,340 - Or a guy. - Yeah. 616 00:29:25,423 --> 00:29:27,759 I did a lot of that before I met Jeff. 617 00:29:27,842 --> 00:29:30,595 God, he would kill me if he caught me smoking this. 618 00:29:30,678 --> 00:29:32,096 He made me promise him I'd quit. 619 00:29:32,179 --> 00:29:34,015 That is so sweet. 620 00:29:35,099 --> 00:29:37,268 - Or annoying. - No, that's nice. 621 00:29:37,352 --> 00:29:40,021 That's like, he wants you around. 622 00:29:40,104 --> 00:29:43,358 I've never had a guy care enough about me to want me to quit smoking. 623 00:29:44,859 --> 00:29:48,488 I had a guy try and get me to do heroin once. 624 00:29:48,571 --> 00:29:50,407 Does that count? 625 00:29:50,490 --> 00:29:53,075 I once dated a guy who used to make me clean out his litter box 626 00:29:53,159 --> 00:29:54,369 before we could have sex. 627 00:29:55,453 --> 00:29:57,288 Wait. He shit in a litter box? 628 00:29:57,372 --> 00:29:59,165 - No, the cat. He had a cat. - Oh. 629 00:29:59,248 --> 00:30:02,835 I didn't meet Jeff until I decided I deserved someone who was nice to me. 630 00:30:07,131 --> 00:30:08,883 Thanks for the ciggy. 631 00:30:08,966 --> 00:30:10,593 I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive. 632 00:30:10,677 --> 00:30:13,805 I was basically like, "AA doesn't work." 633 00:30:13,888 --> 00:30:16,015 - But that was just for me, so... - Yeah. 634 00:30:16,098 --> 00:30:18,435 - Hang in there. - You, too. 635 00:30:21,187 --> 00:30:23,940 If my kid's still awake when I go up there, I'm coming back down. 636 00:30:24,691 --> 00:30:28,528 - Mmm, so good. - Mmm, the best. It's so good. 637 00:30:28,611 --> 00:30:30,405 And it feels so good on my throat, too. 638 00:30:30,488 --> 00:30:32,615 Oh, my God. That was so crazy, when you were choking. 639 00:30:32,699 --> 00:30:35,326 I was, like, "Wow, he's really choking." 640 00:30:35,410 --> 00:30:36,953 So ridiculous. 641 00:30:37,036 --> 00:30:38,580 That happens to me, like, all the time. 642 00:30:38,663 --> 00:30:40,623 Really? You'd be terrible at blowjobs. 643 00:30:41,416 --> 00:30:44,586 - You think? - Yeah. A very big health hazard for you. 644 00:30:44,669 --> 00:30:46,588 Well, I'll make sure never to suck a dick. 645 00:30:46,671 --> 00:30:48,923 It's a good idea. 646 00:30:49,006 --> 00:30:51,008 Hey, don't tell Mickey that I puked, by the way. 647 00:30:51,092 --> 00:30:52,844 You can tell her. 648 00:30:52,927 --> 00:30:56,305 So why do you think she, like, pawned us off on each other, huh? 649 00:30:57,264 --> 00:30:58,725 You think she thinks, like, we're real freaks? 650 00:30:58,808 --> 00:31:01,478 I think she just thinks we're both nice people. 651 00:31:01,561 --> 00:31:03,395 Well, maybe I'm not nice, you know? 652 00:31:04,188 --> 00:31:07,859 Like, sometimes, like, if a waiter's, like, really bad, 653 00:31:07,942 --> 00:31:11,237 I'll just, like, tip them, like, 30%... 654 00:31:12,489 --> 00:31:14,991 ...so they go, like, "I didn't deserve this." 655 00:31:15,074 --> 00:31:16,283 You're a scumbag. 656 00:31:16,367 --> 00:31:18,327 - Piece of shit. That's what I am. - Yeah. 657 00:31:18,410 --> 00:31:21,998 - You're a... you're a terrible guy. - Mmm-hmm. 658 00:31:22,081 --> 00:31:23,833 Well, I just think we're two nice people 659 00:31:23,916 --> 00:31:27,086 who gave it our best shot and that's the best we can do. 660 00:31:27,169 --> 00:31:28,963 Anyway, I'm into chubby guys. 661 00:31:31,758 --> 00:31:33,676 I just gotta use the bathroom, and I'll get out of your hair. 662 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,721 - Oh, sure. It's just down the hall. - Okay. Thank you. Sorry. 663 00:31:39,516 --> 00:31:40,683 Oh. 664 00:31:43,227 --> 00:31:44,562 - Hey. - Hey. 665 00:31:44,646 --> 00:31:48,733 Hi. I rearranged the furniture, obviously, but I can put it back. 666 00:31:48,816 --> 00:31:50,026 No. It's cool. I like it. 667 00:31:50,109 --> 00:31:52,654 So how was the date? 668 00:31:52,737 --> 00:31:54,906 You guys stopped texting me. I felt so left out. 669 00:31:54,989 --> 00:31:57,950 I'm... I'm sorry, though, if I butted in. 670 00:31:58,034 --> 00:32:00,161 - Did I take it too far? - No, no. 671 00:32:00,244 --> 00:32:03,498 It's all good. We're cool. Me and Gus just want to be friends. 672 00:32:04,456 --> 00:32:06,125 Cool. 673 00:32:06,208 --> 00:32:07,459 Uh, is he here? 674 00:32:07,544 --> 00:32:10,087 Yeah, he's just in the bathroom, then he's gonna go. 675 00:32:10,713 --> 00:32:11,798 Cool. 676 00:32:12,339 --> 00:32:14,175 So, what was the restaurant like? 677 00:32:14,258 --> 00:32:17,303 Were the Yelp reviews right? Did the calamari taste frozen? 678 00:32:17,386 --> 00:32:19,764 Oh, I had steak, so I couldn't say. 679 00:32:19,847 --> 00:32:21,098 Hey. 680 00:32:23,768 --> 00:32:26,020 - Room's different. - Mickey rearranged. 681 00:32:26,103 --> 00:32:27,897 Ah. 682 00:32:27,980 --> 00:32:30,858 Oh, my God. I have that, like, same rug. 683 00:32:30,942 --> 00:32:32,944 Except mine's in blue, not orange. 684 00:32:33,027 --> 00:32:34,236 I wanted orange, but... 685 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:35,530 It's Mickey's rug. 686 00:32:35,613 --> 00:32:36,948 Ah. 687 00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:40,577 Got the same rug. Cool. 688 00:32:40,660 --> 00:32:43,412 Okay, well, thank you for the good time tonight. 689 00:32:43,495 --> 00:32:45,540 - Yes. It was fun. - That was really fun. 690 00:32:45,623 --> 00:32:47,959 - Yeah, take care. - All right. You, too. 691 00:32:48,042 --> 00:32:50,127 Hey, dude, those text messages were so funny. 692 00:32:50,211 --> 00:32:52,463 - Oh, you like that? - I was laughing all night. 693 00:32:52,547 --> 00:32:54,799 Oh. Good, good, good. You know... 694 00:32:54,882 --> 00:32:56,175 I tried. 695 00:32:59,554 --> 00:33:01,513 - Are you pissed at me? - Okay... 696 00:33:02,807 --> 00:33:04,183 Mickey, you know I like you. 697 00:33:04,851 --> 00:33:06,185 I don't have a lot of dignity... 698 00:33:07,019 --> 00:33:09,438 but I have enough dignity to say, like, 699 00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:12,233 hey, I don't like being pawned off on another girl. 700 00:33:12,316 --> 00:33:16,613 I'm not just, like, some nice guy 701 00:33:16,696 --> 00:33:19,323 who's always gonna be around for you to, like, fuck with. 702 00:33:19,406 --> 00:33:21,743 What do you want me to say? 703 00:33:21,826 --> 00:33:23,285 I don't know. 704 00:33:24,370 --> 00:33:27,206 I'm not dumb. I know what this is. 705 00:33:27,289 --> 00:33:28,791 I get it. 706 00:33:28,875 --> 00:33:31,002 You're not interested. It's cool. 707 00:33:31,085 --> 00:33:32,544 We can just say it's cool. 708 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,757 Pleasure to meet ya. 709 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:36,841 Okay. 710 00:33:59,113 --> 00:34:01,866 Stop! 711 00:34:01,949 --> 00:34:04,869 Hey! Hello, that was, like, super dangerous! 712 00:34:14,003 --> 00:34:15,462 Fun first date, huh? 713 00:34:20,885 --> 00:34:22,845 What the fuck was that? 714 00:34:26,091 --> 00:34:31,091 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com