1
00:00:02,066 --> 00:00:04,033
[♪]
2
00:00:04,066 --> 00:00:05,566
Uh-- Uh, excuse me?
3
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,700
Be with you
in a minute.
4
00:00:08,733 --> 00:00:11,466
No, you should have
come last night.
5
00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:12,900
It was fun.
6
00:00:12,933 --> 00:00:14,666
Um, I just have a question.
7
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:17,366
I know.
The margaritas
8
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,200
in that place
are so strong.
9
00:00:20,233 --> 00:00:21,366
Hello.
10
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,033
I'd like to buy
these huaraches.
11
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,133
[SIGHS]
12
00:00:26,166 --> 00:00:27,133
So...
13
00:00:27,166 --> 00:00:30,000
what else is going on?
Hee-hee!
14
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,366
what else is going on?
Hee-hee!
15
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,400
Hey!
16
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:34,700
Listen. I'll call
you back.
17
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,000
Yes?
18
00:00:38,033 --> 00:00:39,366
What can I do for you?
19
00:00:40,366 --> 00:00:41,333
Nothing.
20
00:00:41,366 --> 00:00:43,033
You just lost
a customer.
21
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,700
WOMAN:
Ready to go? I don't wanna
miss the previews.
22
00:00:55,733 --> 00:00:57,666
Me neither. I love
the previews.
23
00:00:57,700 --> 00:00:59,666
In fact, I enjoy being
the theater cutup.
24
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:03,033
Last week after a preview,
I yelled out, "Must miss!"
25
00:01:04,166 --> 00:01:06,000
I think that I was
in that theater.
26
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,966
That-- That was really funny.
27
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,633
Yeah, I got a good laugh.
Ha!
28
00:01:09,666 --> 00:01:12,266
Let me just check
my messages before we go.
29
00:01:13,666 --> 00:01:15,166
[DIAL TONE HUMMING]
30
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:24,633
GEORGE:
So you're on the speed dial?
31
00:01:24,666 --> 00:01:25,966
After two dates.
32
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,966
What number?
Seven.
33
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,966
Wow! You know,
it's a pain to change that.
34
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,133
You gotta lift up
that plastic thing with a pen.
35
00:01:33,166 --> 00:01:34,666
[INDISTINCT
SINGING]
36
00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:36,633
Oh, hey, buddy. Hey.
Hey.
37
00:01:36,666 --> 00:01:39,133
Is it all right if I keep these
here for a while?
38
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,300
I'm having a New Year's Eve
party.
39
00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:43,466
You're gonna keep these here
for eight months?
40
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,133
No, Jerry.
41
00:01:45,166 --> 00:01:47,666
New Year's Eve, 1999.
The millennium.
42
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,233
I told you about that.
43
00:01:49,266 --> 00:01:50,676
Y-you're gonna leave
these chairs here
44
00:01:50,676 --> 00:01:51,066
Y-you're gonna leave
these chairs here
45
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:52,566
for two and a half years?
46
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,300
You're not gonna see 'em.
47
00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:56,900
I got a case of party poppers
I'm gonna keep in front of 'em.
48
00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:58,000
It's all right.
49
00:01:58,033 --> 00:02:00,066
Hey, so get this.
50
00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:01,233
I got a call this morning
51
00:02:01,266 --> 00:02:03,200
from one of the Mets'
front-office guys.
52
00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:04,733
They wanna take me
out to lunch.
53
00:02:04,766 --> 00:02:05,900
What for?
54
00:02:05,933 --> 00:02:07,733
I'm on a winning
ball club, Jerry.
55
00:02:07,766 --> 00:02:10,000
They probably wanna
pick my brain.
56
00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:13,100
Really. Why do you think
they're taking you out to lunch?
57
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:16,333
I have no idea.
58
00:02:16,366 --> 00:02:19,533
All right. I have had it
with those Mayans.
59
00:02:19,566 --> 00:02:20,676
I don't mind the Mayans.
60
00:02:20,676 --> 00:02:21,066
I don't mind the Mayans.
61
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:24,033
You know that store,
Putumayo?
62
00:02:24,066 --> 00:02:25,566
I was trying to buy
these huaraches,
63
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,566
and this saleswoman
just completely ignored me.
64
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,200
Oh, are we talking
huaraches?
65
00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:33,633
I know a great store
for huaraches.
66
00:02:33,666 --> 00:02:35,333
No, no.
Not Putumayo.
67
00:02:35,366 --> 00:02:37,566
No, no.
Cinco de Mayo.
68
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,633
Yeah, Marcelino,
he turned me onto it.
69
00:02:39,666 --> 00:02:42,500
And he's 1/64
Mayan.
70
00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:45,033
I'm starting to get a little
nervous about this lunch.
71
00:02:45,066 --> 00:02:46,300
What did you have?
72
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,266
Elaine.
73
00:02:49,566 --> 00:02:50,500
I'm gonna...
74
00:02:52,233 --> 00:02:53,700
keep these here too, huh?
75
00:02:53,733 --> 00:02:55,133
They'll be all right.
76
00:02:55,166 --> 00:02:57,200
Kramer, these balloons
aren't gonna stay filled
77
00:02:57,233 --> 00:02:58,866
till New Year's.
78
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:00,466
Oh, those aren't
for New Year's.
79
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:02,500
Those are my everyday
balloons.
80
00:03:07,266 --> 00:03:08,633
MAN:
George, we'll be blunt.
81
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,500
The Mets need somebody
to head up scouting.
82
00:03:10,533 --> 00:03:12,633
And we think that someone
might be you.
83
00:03:12,666 --> 00:03:13,800
Head of scouting?
84
00:03:13,833 --> 00:03:14,966
Interested?
85
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,666
I'm still here.
86
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:20,666
Now, unfortunately,
league rules prevent us
87
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,333
from making you an offer while
you're still under contract.
88
00:03:23,366 --> 00:03:25,833
Do you understand
what we're talking about?
89
00:03:25,866 --> 00:03:26,833
So you're talking--
90
00:03:26,866 --> 00:03:27,833
No, no.
91
00:03:27,866 --> 00:03:30,166
We're not talking.
92
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,833
We're just...
93
00:03:31,866 --> 00:03:32,900
talking.
94
00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:37,000
So you need me...
95
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,333
to get fired?
96
00:03:38,366 --> 00:03:40,133
We didn't say that.
We couldn't say that.
97
00:03:40,166 --> 00:03:42,500
Because even if we did--
We couldn't say that we said it.
98
00:03:42,533 --> 00:03:44,000
You see what
we're saying?
99
00:03:44,033 --> 00:03:46,833
But you are still paying
for this lunch?
100
00:03:46,866 --> 00:03:47,900
We didn't say that.
101
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,400
Hi.
102
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:54,866
Sorry I'm late.
103
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,766
There's a lot of chairs
and balloons in my apartment.
104
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:01,633
How about I make it up
to you with dinner?
105
00:04:01,666 --> 00:04:04,000
Someplace nice this time?
106
00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:06,900
Yeah, I'm sorry about that
Mongolian barbecue last night.
107
00:04:06,933 --> 00:04:08,966
I had heard good things.
108
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,466
I don't know.
109
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,266
It got a two in Zagat's.
110
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,166
Let me just, uh,
check my messages.
111
00:04:16,266 --> 00:04:18,333
Maybe a nicer girl called.
112
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:20,466
[PHONE DIALING]
113
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:20,676
WOMAN [OVER PHONE]:
Hello.
114
00:04:20,676 --> 00:04:21,666
WOMAN [OVER PHONE]:
Hello.
115
00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:23,066
Hello?
116
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:24,733
Who is this?
117
00:04:24,766 --> 00:04:27,000
Jane. What number
did you dial?
118
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,000
Seven.
119
00:04:32,166 --> 00:04:33,866
Hey!
120
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,066
See these?
121
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,766
Cinco de Mayo!
122
00:04:39,266 --> 00:04:42,700
Sales commission,
bye-bye-o!
123
00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:47,200
GEORGE:
♪ Meet the Mets ♪
124
00:04:47,233 --> 00:04:48,633
♪ Meet the Mets ♪
125
00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:50,676
♪ Come on in
And greet the Mets ♪
126
00:04:50,676 --> 00:04:51,900
♪ Come on in
And greet the Mets ♪
127
00:04:51,933 --> 00:04:53,000
[LAUGHS]
128
00:04:53,033 --> 00:04:54,900
Good meeting?
There was no meeting.
129
00:04:57,233 --> 00:04:59,200
But it was
quite a meeting.
130
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:01,733
You are looking
at the next director
131
00:05:01,766 --> 00:05:03,466
of Mets scouting.
132
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:04,633
The only thing is
I have to
133
00:05:04,666 --> 00:05:06,700
get fired from
the Yankees first.
134
00:05:06,733 --> 00:05:08,166
You can do that.
135
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,533
Of course.
136
00:05:09,566 --> 00:05:13,233
But I really wanna leave my
mark this time, you know? Uh-
137
00:05:13,266 --> 00:05:14,700
I wanna walk away
from the Yankees
138
00:05:14,733 --> 00:05:16,900
with people saying:
"Wow!
139
00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:19,533
Now, that guy got canned."
140
00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:24,200
So you wanna go out in
a final blaze of incompetence.
141
00:05:24,233 --> 00:05:26,066
Yeah. Remember that summer
at Dairy Queen,
142
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:28,400
where I cooled my feet
in the soft-serve machine?
143
00:05:28,433 --> 00:05:29,400
Yeah.
144
00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:32,666
Think people will
still be using napkins
145
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,466
in the year 2000?
146
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,933
Or is this mouth-vacuum thing
for real?
147
00:05:41,366 --> 00:05:43,066
So, George...
Yeah.
148
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:46,500
I had, like, a so-so date
with Valerie.
149
00:05:46,533 --> 00:05:48,633
Now I'm number nine
on the speed dial.
150
00:05:48,666 --> 00:05:49,633
So?
151
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:50,676
So I used to be seven.
152
00:05:50,676 --> 00:05:51,200
So I used to be seven.
153
00:05:51,233 --> 00:05:52,666
I dropped two spots.
154
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,133
What? She's ranking you?
155
00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:57,333
Yeah, the speed dial's like
a relationship barometer.
156
00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:59,166
What is a barometer
exactly?
157
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,200
It's pronounced "thermometer."
158
00:06:07,733 --> 00:06:10,900
You know, in the year 2000,
we'll all be on speed dial.
159
00:06:10,933 --> 00:06:12,366
You just have to think
of a person,
160
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:13,633
they'll be talking
to you.
161
00:06:13,666 --> 00:06:15,500
It'll be like,
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
162
00:06:15,533 --> 00:06:16,866
I'm getting a call here."
163
00:06:18,533 --> 00:06:20,200
"Hey, it's Newman."
164
00:06:20,233 --> 00:06:20,676
"Hey, how you doing, Newman?"
165
00:06:20,676 --> 00:06:21,833
"Hey, how you doing, Newman?"
166
00:06:21,866 --> 00:06:23,166
[MOUTHS]
I'm not here.
167
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,400
"Oh, you wanna
talk to Jerry?"
168
00:06:29,233 --> 00:06:31,066
VALERIE:
Oh. Flowers.
169
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,033
You didn't
have to do that.
170
00:06:33,066 --> 00:06:36,166
I mean, the dinner
and the play
171
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,466
and the hansom
cab ride.
172
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:39,833
Well, I just wanted to--
173
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:42,800
You forgot the gift certificate
to Barnes and Noble.
Oh.
174
00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:44,733
--you know,
make a good impression.
175
00:06:44,766 --> 00:06:46,300
I'm gonna go put these
in some water.
176
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:48,166
I like the way
you think.
177
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,166
[GIGGLES]
178
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:54,866
Oh, my God.
179
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:56,700
Number one.
180
00:06:57,833 --> 00:07:00,700
Seinfeld, you magnificent
bastard.
181
00:07:02,533 --> 00:07:04,500
GEORGE:
Sorry I'm late,
but look what I found
182
00:07:04,533 --> 00:07:06,300
in the Yankee Hall of Pride
display case.
183
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:07,666
[CHUCKLES]
184
00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:09,766
Isn't that Babe's Ruth
uniform?
185
00:07:10,666 --> 00:07:12,133
Is it?
186
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,533
Eh. Strawberries,
anyone?
187
00:07:15,166 --> 00:07:16,533
Aw, it's good.
188
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,233
Ooh. Juicy this time of year.
Heh-heh.
189
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,676
Gotta get the good ones.
190
00:07:20,676 --> 00:07:20,866
Gotta get the good ones.
191
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:25,400
Oh, that's bad.
That's bad.
192
00:07:25,433 --> 00:07:28,300
KRAMER:
So, Jerry, my millennium party's
really coming together.
193
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:31,200
Will people be able to breathe
underwater in the year 2000?
194
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,166
Some of us.
195
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:36,233
I don't want to exclude anybody.
196
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:41,666
Hola.
197
00:07:44,433 --> 00:07:45,600
Shove it.
198
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,500
What is all this?
199
00:07:49,533 --> 00:07:50,676
I got all of this junk
at Cinco de Mayo
200
00:07:50,676 --> 00:07:51,666
I got all of this junk
at Cinco de Mayo
201
00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,966
because I was trying
to show Putumayo
202
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,700
how much business
they'd lost.
203
00:07:55,733 --> 00:07:57,700
I mean, I've been
dancing and strutting
204
00:07:57,733 --> 00:08:00,300
in front of their store
for two days.
205
00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:03,366
Oh, no wonder we're
getting so much rain.
206
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,633
Elaine, I'm having
a millennium party,
207
00:08:05,666 --> 00:08:06,900
so save the date.
208
00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:09,833
Hey, you know what? Newman
sent me an invitation already
209
00:08:09,866 --> 00:08:11,466
to his party.
210
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:12,833
Newman?
Yeah.
211
00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:17,933
"Come celebrate the millennium
with 'Newmannium.'"
212
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:20,366
Newman.
213
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,600
Hi, Valerie.
214
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:27,833
You're not Valerie.
215
00:08:27,866 --> 00:08:29,700
I'm her stepmother.
216
00:08:29,733 --> 00:08:31,533
Drive.
217
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:36,033
It's taken me 13 years
to climb up
218
00:08:36,066 --> 00:08:37,300
to the top of
that speed dial,
219
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:41,300
and I don't intend
to lose my spot to you.
220
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:42,466
But I-I never--
221
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,000
You just stay away
from that phone.
222
00:08:47,033 --> 00:08:49,500
GEORGE:
You wanted to see me, sir?
223
00:08:49,533 --> 00:08:50,676
I heard about what happened
at the meeting this morning.
224
00:08:50,676 --> 00:08:51,866
I heard about what happened
at the meeting this morning.
225
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,700
Oh, yes. I already
packed up my desk, sir.
226
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,066
I could be out of here
in an hour.
227
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,333
And I have to tell you
228
00:08:56,366 --> 00:08:58,466
it's exactly what
this organization needed.
229
00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:00,533
If we wanna look
to the future,
230
00:09:00,566 --> 00:09:02,033
we've gotta tear down
the past.
231
00:09:02,066 --> 00:09:03,900
Babe Ruth was nothing more
than a fat old man
232
00:09:03,933 --> 00:09:05,833
with little-girl legs.
233
00:09:05,866 --> 00:09:08,666
And here's something
I just found out recently.
234
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:11,066
He wasn't really
a sultan. Huh?
235
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,166
What do you make
of that?
236
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,866
Hey. check
this out.
237
00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:17,400
Lou Gehrig's pants.
Not a bad fit.
238
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,133
You don't think
that nerve disease of his
239
00:09:19,166 --> 00:09:20,500
was contagious, do you?
240
00:09:20,533 --> 00:09:20,676
Oh. Better take
them off.
241
00:09:20,676 --> 00:09:21,700
Oh. Better take
them off.
242
00:09:21,733 --> 00:09:23,166
I'm too important
to this team.
243
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,500
Big Stein can't be
flopping and twitching.
244
00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:26,833
Hey. How about
some lunch?
245
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:27,866
What are you
going for?
246
00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:34,215
JERRY:
You know, uh, Valerie,
247
00:09:34,248 --> 00:09:37,315
I, uh, couldn't help but notice
that I'm on your speed dial.
248
00:09:37,348 --> 00:09:39,082
You deserve it.
249
00:09:39,115 --> 00:09:40,682
But I--
I can't help thinking
250
00:09:40,715 --> 00:09:42,582
that maybe there's
someone in your life
251
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:43,882
who deserves it more.
252
00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:46,582
Someone you've known,
you know...
253
00:09:46,615 --> 00:09:48,048
more than a week.
254
00:09:48,082 --> 00:09:50,648
My stepmother got to you,
didn't she?
255
00:09:50,682 --> 00:09:52,082
What? No.
[GROANS]
256
00:09:52,115 --> 00:09:54,348
I can't believe
she did this again.
257
00:09:54,382 --> 00:09:55,648
That's it.
258
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:58,848
She's off the speed dial
completely.
259
00:10:00,715 --> 00:10:01,948
Yikes.
260
00:10:03,848 --> 00:10:05,215
[DOOR SLAMS]
261
00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:07,082
Well, I just got
your invitation
262
00:10:07,115 --> 00:10:08,515
to the Newmannium
party.
263
00:10:08,548 --> 00:10:11,915
You just got it?
Damn, the mail is slow.
264
00:10:11,948 --> 00:10:13,982
You knew I was having
a millennium party,
265
00:10:14,015 --> 00:10:16,548
but you just had to throw yours
on the same day.
266
00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:18,582
I have done nothing
unethical.
267
00:10:18,615 --> 00:10:20,215
Well, you're gonna have
to cancel it,
268
00:10:20,248 --> 00:10:22,082
because I've told everybody
about my party.
269
00:10:22,115 --> 00:10:23,215
Cancel?
270
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:26,148
Think again,
long shanks.
271
00:10:26,182 --> 00:10:28,915
I started planning this in 1978.
272
00:10:28,948 --> 00:10:29,778
I put a deposit down
on that revolving restaurant
273
00:10:29,778 --> 00:10:31,015
I put a deposit down
on that revolving restaurant
274
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,548
that overlooks Times Square.
275
00:10:32,582 --> 00:10:35,748
And I booked
Christopher Cross.
276
00:10:35,782 --> 00:10:36,848
Well, what am I
gonna do?
277
00:10:36,882 --> 00:10:38,748
I got
over 200 folding chairs
278
00:10:38,782 --> 00:10:40,915
and quite a bit of ice.
279
00:10:40,948 --> 00:10:41,982
What kind?
280
00:10:42,015 --> 00:10:43,215
Cubed.
281
00:10:43,248 --> 00:10:45,148
That's good stuff.
282
00:10:45,182 --> 00:10:47,815
And you can never have
too much ice.
283
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,982
All right, I'll tell you
what I'll do.
284
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:52,082
You can cohost
the party with me.
Mm-hm.
285
00:10:52,115 --> 00:10:54,382
Under one condition.
286
00:10:54,415 --> 00:10:57,482
No Jerry.
Jerry is not invited.
287
00:10:57,515 --> 00:10:59,515
I got to invite Jerry.
He's my buddy.
288
00:10:59,548 --> 00:10:59,778
That he may be,
289
00:10:59,778 --> 00:11:00,815
That he may be,
290
00:11:00,848 --> 00:11:03,382
but he's out of my life
starting in the year 2000.
291
00:11:03,415 --> 00:11:07,215
For me, the next millennium
must be Jerry-free.
292
00:11:10,248 --> 00:11:11,815
JERRY:
How could they not fire you?
293
00:11:11,848 --> 00:11:14,015
Gee. Never thought
I'd fail at failing.
294
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,482
Oh, come on, now.
295
00:11:15,515 --> 00:11:17,382
Feel like I can't do
anything wrong.
296
00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:18,815
Nonsense.
297
00:11:18,848 --> 00:11:20,882
You do everything
wrong.
298
00:11:20,915 --> 00:11:22,682
Everything?
Everything.
299
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:23,748
You really think so?
300
00:11:23,782 --> 00:11:24,982
Absolutely.
301
00:11:25,015 --> 00:11:27,748
I have no confidence in you.
302
00:11:27,782 --> 00:11:29,348
All right.
303
00:11:29,382 --> 00:11:29,778
I guess I just have to
pick myself up,
304
00:11:29,778 --> 00:11:30,982
I guess I just have to
pick myself up,
305
00:11:31,015 --> 00:11:32,515
dust myself off...
306
00:11:32,548 --> 00:11:34,515
and throw myself
right back down again.
307
00:11:34,548 --> 00:11:35,682
That's the spirit.
308
00:11:35,715 --> 00:11:37,215
You suck.
309
00:11:37,748 --> 00:11:38,715
I know.
310
00:11:40,782 --> 00:11:43,915
No, no, no, listen to me.
I work in fashion.
311
00:11:43,948 --> 00:11:47,582
Together we can drive
Putumayo out of business
312
00:11:47,615 --> 00:11:50,848
and make Cinco de Mayo
numero uno...
313
00:11:50,882 --> 00:11:52,315
de Mayo.
314
00:11:52,348 --> 00:11:54,282
Do you need some help
with something?
315
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:58,015
You? What are you
doing here?
316
00:11:58,048 --> 00:11:59,778
I own this store.
317
00:11:59,778 --> 00:12:00,148
I own this store.
318
00:12:00,182 --> 00:12:02,848
No, you don't.
You own Putumayo.
319
00:12:02,882 --> 00:12:04,582
Unless you own
both stores.
320
00:12:04,615 --> 00:12:05,548
[CHUCKLES]
321
00:12:07,348 --> 00:12:09,348
I'm Gladys Mayo.
322
00:12:13,715 --> 00:12:16,348
Ah, this really
sticks in my craw.
323
00:12:20,715 --> 00:12:23,048
Well, Mrs. Hamilton,
it's certainly nice that
324
00:12:23,082 --> 00:12:24,715
you and Valerie
patched things up
325
00:12:24,748 --> 00:12:27,982
so we could all
get together like this.
326
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,778
Where is Valerie?
327
00:12:29,778 --> 00:12:30,215
Where is Valerie?
328
00:12:30,248 --> 00:12:31,848
I'm sure
she'll be along.
329
00:12:31,882 --> 00:12:33,815
Have some wine, Jerome.
330
00:12:33,848 --> 00:12:34,748
Okay.
331
00:12:35,415 --> 00:12:37,015
You know, Jerome,
332
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:40,382
I can understand
what Valerie sees in you.
333
00:12:40,415 --> 00:12:42,548
So attractive...
334
00:12:42,582 --> 00:12:44,148
so strong,
335
00:12:44,182 --> 00:12:45,848
so comedic.
336
00:12:47,715 --> 00:12:48,782
Mm. Good.
337
00:12:49,615 --> 00:12:51,582
Jerome...
338
00:12:51,615 --> 00:12:55,015
I have a deliciously
naughty idea.
339
00:12:55,048 --> 00:12:56,982
What?
340
00:12:57,015 --> 00:12:59,778
Why don't I put you
on my speed dial?
341
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,248
Why don't I put you
on my speed dial?
342
00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:05,515
I don't know, Mrs. Hamilton.
That doesn't sound--
343
00:13:05,548 --> 00:13:07,915
Don't be such
a child, Jerome.
344
00:13:07,948 --> 00:13:10,248
How's number three sound?
345
00:13:10,282 --> 00:13:12,615
Valerie's not
coming over, is she?
346
00:13:13,582 --> 00:13:14,882
Seven, four--
347
00:13:14,915 --> 00:13:16,048
No.
348
00:13:16,082 --> 00:13:18,082
--two.
Stop. Stop. This isn't right.
349
00:13:18,115 --> 00:13:19,215
What about Valerie?
350
00:13:19,248 --> 00:13:20,915
I won't tell if you don't.
351
00:13:20,948 --> 00:13:22,415
Oh, my--
352
00:13:22,448 --> 00:13:23,415
[LAUGHS]
353
00:13:27,948 --> 00:13:28,915
Jerry.
354
00:13:29,948 --> 00:13:31,382
Newman.
355
00:13:32,515 --> 00:13:33,882
It's 2000.
356
00:13:33,915 --> 00:13:35,282
Newmannium!
357
00:13:42,215 --> 00:13:44,415
Oh, Jerry.
358
00:13:45,582 --> 00:13:46,548
[WHIMPERS]
359
00:13:49,115 --> 00:13:52,015
MALE ANNOUNCER [OVER TV]:
All right, Yankees 2,
Orioles nothing.
360
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,548
Wait a minute.
361
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:57,382
A short, stocky bald man
is streaking across the field.
362
00:13:57,415 --> 00:13:58,815
Oh, my God, George.
363
00:13:58,848 --> 00:13:59,778
No, check that.
He's not streaking.
364
00:13:59,778 --> 00:14:00,515
No, check that.
He's not streaking.
365
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,648
He's wearing
a flesh-toned body stocking.
366
00:14:02,682 --> 00:14:04,382
Apparently, he's
a bit bashful,
367
00:14:04,415 --> 00:14:07,082
and oddly,
no one seems upset.
368
00:14:07,115 --> 00:14:09,015
Kramer, look.
It's George.
369
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:11,048
Everyone loves him.
Yeah, I know.
370
00:14:11,082 --> 00:14:12,382
Listen. Jerry.
371
00:14:12,415 --> 00:14:14,682
I can't let you come
to my New Year's party.
372
00:14:14,715 --> 00:14:16,382
All right.
It's killing me.
373
00:14:16,415 --> 00:14:17,982
Newman's got the jump
on the invites
374
00:14:18,015 --> 00:14:20,348
and will crush me
if I try to go it alone.
375
00:14:20,382 --> 00:14:22,015
No problem.
You're right.
376
00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:23,848
I won't do it without you.
377
00:14:23,882 --> 00:14:26,015
Oh, I feel so ashamed
I even thought of it, huh?
378
00:14:26,048 --> 00:14:27,515
[DOOR OPENS]
379
00:14:27,548 --> 00:14:29,778
Elaine, you can't go
to Newman's Newmannium.
380
00:14:29,778 --> 00:14:29,982
Elaine, you can't go
to Newman's Newmannium.
381
00:14:30,015 --> 00:14:32,048
Okay.
No, no, no. You gotta spend
382
00:14:32,082 --> 00:14:34,548
New Year's 1999
with me and Jerry.
383
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,015
Fine.
Oh, come on!
384
00:14:37,082 --> 00:14:38,882
All right.
Yes! All right.
385
00:14:38,915 --> 00:14:41,015
So it's you, it's me,
and it's Jerry, huh?
386
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,215
Yeah. Now things are starting
to snowball, huh?
387
00:14:43,248 --> 00:14:44,715
I'll tell Newman
I don't need him.
388
00:14:44,748 --> 00:14:47,748
So I'll, uh, see you two
in the 21st century.
389
00:14:47,782 --> 00:14:49,315
Okay. Kramer. Kramer.
Wait a minute.
390
00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:51,415
Do you still have
that pricing gun?
Yeah.
391
00:14:51,448 --> 00:14:54,182
Okay. I need you to help me
put Putumayo out of business.
392
00:14:54,215 --> 00:14:55,682
Can do.
393
00:14:56,848 --> 00:14:58,582
What are you doing
with a pricing gun?
394
00:14:58,615 --> 00:14:59,778
That place is about to have
the sale of the century.
395
00:14:59,778 --> 00:15:01,015
That place is about to have
the sale of the century.
396
00:15:01,048 --> 00:15:03,048
Nothing over 99 cents.
397
00:15:04,548 --> 00:15:05,982
Still a rip-off.
398
00:15:06,015 --> 00:15:07,182
[PHONE RINGS]
399
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,482
Hello.
400
00:15:09,515 --> 00:15:11,182
Jerry, I was just
at my stepmom's house,
401
00:15:11,215 --> 00:15:13,548
and I saw that you were
on her speed dial.
402
00:15:13,582 --> 00:15:15,315
Uh, well, she, uh,
probably just wanted
403
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,548
to be able
to keep tabs on you.
404
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,548
[CALL WAITING BEEPS]
405
00:15:17,582 --> 00:15:18,915
Hold on a second.
406
00:15:18,948 --> 00:15:20,315
Hello.
407
00:15:20,348 --> 00:15:21,382
Hi, Jerome.
408
00:15:21,415 --> 00:15:23,382
Oh, Mrs. Hamilton,
this is a very bad time.
409
00:15:23,415 --> 00:15:24,882
I've got Valerie
on the other line.
410
00:15:24,915 --> 00:15:26,315
Just a second.
411
00:15:26,348 --> 00:15:27,482
Hello.
412
00:15:27,515 --> 00:15:29,215
That's her, isn't it?
Well...
413
00:15:29,248 --> 00:15:29,778
Tell her I don't want you
on her speed dial.
414
00:15:29,778 --> 00:15:30,982
Tell her I don't want you
on her speed dial.
415
00:15:31,015 --> 00:15:32,482
Hang on.
416
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,548
She knows about
the speed dial, Mrs. Hamilton.
417
00:15:34,582 --> 00:15:35,982
You gotta get me
off this thing.
418
00:15:36,015 --> 00:15:38,982
I won't until
she puts me back on hers.
419
00:15:39,015 --> 00:15:40,582
Hang on.
420
00:15:40,615 --> 00:15:42,415
She wants to be
back on yours.
421
00:15:42,448 --> 00:15:44,182
Fine. But only
if you're off hers.
422
00:15:44,215 --> 00:15:45,548
Hang on.
423
00:15:45,582 --> 00:15:47,148
Fine.
If I'm off yours.
424
00:15:47,182 --> 00:15:48,148
No. Still me.
425
00:15:48,182 --> 00:15:49,815
Sorry. Hang on.
426
00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:51,415
Fine,
if I'm off yours.
427
00:15:51,448 --> 00:15:52,682
I won't do it.
428
00:15:52,715 --> 00:15:55,315
It's my speed dial,
and I don't trust her.
429
00:15:55,348 --> 00:15:56,515
Please, Mrs. Hamilton,
430
00:15:56,548 --> 00:15:58,382
this is very awkward
for me.
431
00:15:58,415 --> 00:15:59,778
All right.
432
00:15:59,778 --> 00:15:59,915
All right.
433
00:15:59,948 --> 00:16:02,548
I'll hide you in one of
the emergency buttons.
434
00:16:02,582 --> 00:16:04,015
Great. Bye.
435
00:16:04,048 --> 00:16:05,015
She said
she'll do it.
436
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:06,015
Great.
437
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,882
[CALL WAITING BEEPS]
Hang on.
438
00:16:07,915 --> 00:16:09,048
Hello.
439
00:16:09,082 --> 00:16:10,015
Jerry.
440
00:16:10,948 --> 00:16:13,048
I can't get fired.
441
00:16:13,082 --> 00:16:14,915
Hey, Body-Suit Man.
What's up?
442
00:16:14,948 --> 00:16:15,915
Hey, Body-Suit Man.
443
00:16:15,948 --> 00:16:17,082
MAN 1:
Hey!
444
00:16:17,115 --> 00:16:18,248
MAN 2:
Hey, look who it is.
445
00:16:18,282 --> 00:16:19,482
Body-Suit Man.
446
00:16:19,515 --> 00:16:20,448
ALL:
Hey!
447
00:16:28,548 --> 00:16:29,778
Hi.
448
00:16:29,778 --> 00:16:30,048
Hi.
449
00:16:30,082 --> 00:16:31,882
Mm.
[COUGHS]
450
00:16:31,915 --> 00:16:34,048
Hi. I'm, uh,
H.E. Pennypacker.
451
00:16:34,082 --> 00:16:37,548
I'm a wealthy
American industrialist, uh,
452
00:16:37,582 --> 00:16:39,382
looking to open a silver mine
453
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,882
in the mountains of Peru.
454
00:16:40,915 --> 00:16:44,415
And before I invest millions
in a lucrative mine, I--
455
00:16:44,448 --> 00:16:46,715
I'd like to go
a little native, uh...
456
00:16:46,748 --> 00:16:48,915
Get the feel
of their condiments,
457
00:16:48,948 --> 00:16:50,182
their unmentionables.
458
00:16:50,215 --> 00:16:53,815
You know, the real, uh,
gritty-gritty.
459
00:16:53,848 --> 00:16:55,515
Um, let me show you
what we have.
460
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,182
No, no. I think I can just
browse around on my own.
461
00:16:59,282 --> 00:16:59,778
Mmm,
Machu Picchu. Hm.
462
00:16:59,778 --> 00:17:01,348
Mmm,
Machu Picchu. Hm.
463
00:17:01,382 --> 00:17:02,848
Are these free?
464
00:17:02,882 --> 00:17:04,615
Yeah.
Mm-hm.
465
00:17:10,848 --> 00:17:12,782
[COUGHING]
466
00:17:14,548 --> 00:17:17,015
Some of those
are women's clothes.
467
00:17:17,048 --> 00:17:18,348
Oh, not a problem.
468
00:17:21,382 --> 00:17:23,215
[PRICING GUN CLICKING]
469
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:33,982
Attention, Steinbrenner,
and front-office morons.
470
00:17:34,015 --> 00:17:36,648
Your triumphs mean nothing.
471
00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:39,482
You all stink.
472
00:17:39,515 --> 00:17:41,548
You can sit on it
473
00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:43,182
and rotate!
474
00:17:44,348 --> 00:17:45,382
This is George Costanza!
475
00:17:45,415 --> 00:17:47,515
[TIRES SCREECHING]
476
00:17:47,548 --> 00:17:49,048
I fear no reprisal.
477
00:17:50,015 --> 00:17:52,782
Extension 5170.
478
00:17:56,515 --> 00:17:58,182
Ocupado.
479
00:17:58,215 --> 00:17:59,778
Come on. What is
taking you so long?
480
00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:00,382
Come on. What is
taking you so long?
481
00:18:00,415 --> 00:18:02,015
All right, I broke
the price gun,
482
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:03,382
so I had to move to plan B.
483
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,648
Plan B?
Yeah.
484
00:18:05,682 --> 00:18:07,315
There is no plan B.
485
00:18:07,348 --> 00:18:10,748
I took these out of every single
garment in the store.
486
00:18:10,782 --> 00:18:11,748
What?
487
00:18:11,782 --> 00:18:12,915
They're desiccants.
488
00:18:12,948 --> 00:18:14,515
See, they absorb moisture.
489
00:18:14,548 --> 00:18:17,015
These clothes won't last
five years without 'em.
490
00:18:18,015 --> 00:18:19,215
[GROANS]
491
00:18:19,248 --> 00:18:21,015
That's not gonna do anything.
492
00:18:21,048 --> 00:18:22,682
Patience.
493
00:18:22,715 --> 00:18:24,748
All right, forget it.
What?
494
00:18:24,782 --> 00:18:28,248
You have screwed me again,
Pennypacker.
495
00:18:31,248 --> 00:18:33,548
Ladies, care for
some chips?
496
00:18:33,582 --> 00:18:35,215
Well, I don't mind
if I do.
497
00:18:40,115 --> 00:18:41,915
Mmm. Well, I've, uh--
498
00:18:41,948 --> 00:18:44,248
I've changed
my mind. I--
499
00:18:44,282 --> 00:18:47,748
I think I'm going to build
a roller coaster instead.
500
00:19:00,215 --> 00:19:01,248
Mmm.
501
00:19:04,348 --> 00:19:07,248
I heard what you did
in the parking lot, big boy,
502
00:19:07,282 --> 00:19:10,282
and it is in-ex-cus-a-ble.
503
00:19:11,548 --> 00:19:13,515
Personally insulting me,
my staff.
504
00:19:13,548 --> 00:19:15,915
I cannot believe that you,
Body-Suit Man,
505
00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:18,082
could perpetrate
such a disloyal deed.
506
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,315
It breaks my heart
to say it.
507
00:19:19,348 --> 00:19:21,315
Oh, who am I kidding?
I love it. You're--
508
00:19:21,348 --> 00:19:23,048
Wait! Wait,
Mr. Steinbrenner.
509
00:19:23,082 --> 00:19:24,915
George doesn't deserve
any of the blame
510
00:19:24,948 --> 00:19:27,515
for what happened in
the parking lot today, sir.
511
00:19:27,548 --> 00:19:29,382
If there's anyone
to blame here, it's me.
512
00:19:29,415 --> 00:19:29,778
What are you
talking about?
513
00:19:29,778 --> 00:19:30,582
What are you
talking about?
514
00:19:30,615 --> 00:19:32,182
You popping pills?
Got the crazies?
515
00:19:32,215 --> 00:19:33,482
No, no.
No, no, no, sir.
516
00:19:33,515 --> 00:19:37,048
I ordered George to drive around
insulting people today.
517
00:19:37,082 --> 00:19:41,182
Because I'm tired of
all your macho head games.
518
00:19:41,215 --> 00:19:45,248
He's lying, sir. I'm tired
of all your macho head games!
519
00:19:45,282 --> 00:19:46,348
Macho head games?
520
00:19:46,382 --> 00:19:48,248
He's just being
loyal to me, sir.
521
00:19:48,282 --> 00:19:49,982
Wilhelm,
you're fired.
522
00:19:50,015 --> 00:19:52,248
I owe you an apology,
Body-Suit Man. Streak on.
523
00:19:52,282 --> 00:19:53,848
Now, if you gentlemen
will excuse me.
524
00:19:53,882 --> 00:19:55,215
I'm not going to
the game today.
525
00:19:55,248 --> 00:19:56,215
I'm gonna go
outside
526
00:19:56,248 --> 00:19:57,748
and scalp
some tickets.
527
00:19:57,782 --> 00:19:59,778
Owner's box. That's gotta bring
in 40 bucks, no problem.
528
00:19:59,778 --> 00:20:00,182
Owner's box. That's gotta bring
in 40 bucks, no problem.
529
00:20:01,348 --> 00:20:03,548
Mr. Wilhelm,
what was that?
530
00:20:03,582 --> 00:20:05,182
I wanted to get fired.
531
00:20:05,215 --> 00:20:09,082
George...you are looking at
the new head scout
532
00:20:09,115 --> 00:20:11,182
of the New York Mets.
533
00:20:12,548 --> 00:20:14,348
♪ Meet the Mets
Meet the Mets ♪
534
00:20:14,382 --> 00:20:16,715
♪ Come right out
And greet the Mets ♪
535
00:20:18,248 --> 00:20:20,415
I mean, I don't know
what Elaine is so upset about.
536
00:20:20,448 --> 00:20:22,315
I mean, without desiccants,
those clothes
537
00:20:22,348 --> 00:20:24,848
will be noticeably musty
in five years.
538
00:20:24,882 --> 00:20:26,748
She never sees the big picture.
539
00:20:26,782 --> 00:20:27,848
[POUNDING AT DOOR]
540
00:20:31,515 --> 00:20:33,248
[FLATLY]
Hello, Newman.
541
00:20:33,282 --> 00:20:34,915
Hello, Jerry.
542
00:20:34,948 --> 00:20:36,848
What did you say
to Elaine?
543
00:20:36,882 --> 00:20:38,848
I just got her cancellation
in the mail.
544
00:20:38,882 --> 00:20:42,248
Oh. Well, I guess she found
someplace better to go.
545
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,815
Well...it's her mistake,
546
00:20:44,848 --> 00:20:47,482
because she is going to miss
the party of a lifetime.
547
00:20:47,515 --> 00:20:50,382
Well, maybe so.
But come midnight,
548
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:53,915
when she's looking for someone
warm and cuddly to kiss,
549
00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:55,015
I guess you'll be
caught
550
00:20:55,048 --> 00:20:57,282
between the moon
and New York City.
551
00:21:00,248 --> 00:21:02,015
All right.
552
00:21:02,048 --> 00:21:05,048
Come back
to my party...please.
553
00:21:05,082 --> 00:21:06,848
Jerry too,
of course.
554
00:21:10,015 --> 00:21:12,382
You don't wanna do your act
or anything, do you?
555
00:21:12,415 --> 00:21:14,048
No.
556
00:21:14,082 --> 00:21:15,348
All right, then.
557
00:21:15,382 --> 00:21:17,415
I guess I can accept
a little Jerry
558
00:21:17,448 --> 00:21:18,682
if it gets me a...
559
00:21:18,715 --> 00:21:20,248
lot of Elaine.
560
00:21:21,615 --> 00:21:22,815
Deal?
561
00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:23,882
To the Newmannium.
562
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,882
To the "Kramennium."
563
00:21:27,782 --> 00:21:29,778
By the way, Newman,
I'm just curious.
564
00:21:29,778 --> 00:21:29,815
By the way, Newman,
I'm just curious.
565
00:21:29,848 --> 00:21:31,982
When you booked the hotel,
did you book it
566
00:21:32,015 --> 00:21:33,848
for the millennium New Year?
567
00:21:33,882 --> 00:21:36,248
As a matter of fact,
I did.
568
00:21:36,282 --> 00:21:38,548
Oh, that's interesting,
because as everyone knows,
569
00:21:38,582 --> 00:21:40,248
since there was no year zero,
570
00:21:40,282 --> 00:21:43,882
the millennium doesn't
begin until the year 2001.
571
00:21:43,915 --> 00:21:47,382
Which would make
your party one year late.
572
00:21:47,415 --> 00:21:49,515
And thus...
573
00:21:49,548 --> 00:21:51,015
quite lame.
574
00:21:52,582 --> 00:21:54,682
Ohhh.
575
00:21:54,715 --> 00:21:55,615
[SQUAWKS]
576
00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:58,848
[♪]
577
00:22:04,509 --> 00:22:06,843
I don't feel well
at all.
578
00:22:06,876 --> 00:22:09,809
I feel all dried-out
inside.
579
00:22:09,843 --> 00:22:11,109
Oh.
580
00:22:11,143 --> 00:22:12,109
I'll call for help.
581
00:22:12,143 --> 00:22:13,176
Okay.
582
00:22:13,209 --> 00:22:14,843
[DIAL TONE HUMS,
PHONE DIALS]
583
00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:16,076
[PHONE RINGS]
584
00:22:17,709 --> 00:22:18,676
Hello.
585
00:22:18,709 --> 00:22:19,809
Who's this?
586
00:22:19,843 --> 00:22:21,009
It's Jerry. Who's this?
587
00:22:21,043 --> 00:22:23,143
Ugh.
It's Valerie. Ugh.
588
00:22:23,176 --> 00:22:24,376
Oh, hi, Valerie. What's up?
589
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:25,876
I'll tell you what's up.
[GROANS]
590
00:22:25,909 --> 00:22:27,476
My stepmother is violently ill,
591
00:22:27,509 --> 00:22:29,109
so I hit the button
for Poison Control
592
00:22:29,143 --> 00:22:30,376
and I get you.
593
00:22:30,409 --> 00:22:32,009
Wow. Poison Control.
594
00:22:32,043 --> 00:22:32,238
That's even higher
than number one.
595
00:22:32,238 --> 00:22:34,343
That's even higher
than number one.
596
00:22:36,509 --> 00:22:38,476
Hello?
597
00:22:38,509 --> 00:22:40,309
[♪]
598
00:22:43,376 --> 00:22:44,343
[NEWMAN SQUAWKS]