1
00:00:03,366 --> 00:00:04,733
Morning.
Morning.
2
00:00:04,766 --> 00:00:07,133
Hope you don't mind
baking-soda flavor.
3
00:00:07,166 --> 00:00:09,333
Oh, baking soda.
Annoying little product.
4
00:00:09,366 --> 00:00:11,033
"I can do this,
I can do that."
5
00:00:11,066 --> 00:00:13,000
Why doesn't the stuff
just shut up?
6
00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:14,366
Let me grab you
a towel.
7
00:00:15,866 --> 00:00:16,866
Ugh.
8
00:00:18,033 --> 00:00:18,933
[SPITS]
9
00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:25,566
Oh.
10
00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:31,866
Ugh. Ehh.
11
00:00:43,733 --> 00:00:44,866
Ohh.
12
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,133
GEORGE:
So?
13
00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:53,166
So? She used
the toothbrush.
14
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,966
You said you grabbed it
out of there real fast?
Yeah.
15
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,500
So I'm sure whatever germs
it landed on were knocked out.
16
00:00:58,533 --> 00:01:00,666
And by the time the rest
realized what was going on,
17
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,500
you had already grabbed it out.
18
00:01:02,533 --> 00:01:04,666
How many years
of med school did you have?
19
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:06,033
Was she mad?
20
00:01:07,866 --> 00:01:09,000
You didn't tell her.
21
00:01:09,033 --> 00:01:10,733
Jenna's like me.
She's very...
22
00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:12,033
Finicky?
23
00:01:12,066 --> 00:01:13,033
Prissy?
24
00:01:13,066 --> 00:01:14,533
Fastidious?
25
00:01:14,566 --> 00:01:15,933
I'll take "fastidious."
26
00:01:17,366 --> 00:01:18,733
What is that?
27
00:01:18,766 --> 00:01:20,300
Oh.
28
00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:21,866
Steinbrenner gave 'em to us.
29
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:24,400
In honor of Phil Rizzuto's
induction into the Hall of Fame.
30
00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:26,333
Holy cow.
31
00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:29,200
They don't have to
squeeze his head
32
00:01:29,233 --> 00:01:31,033
to get him to say
"Holy cow", do they?
33
00:01:31,066 --> 00:01:33,900
Just the last few innings
of a double-header.
34
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,833
Hey.
35
00:01:35,866 --> 00:01:37,300
Look at this.
36
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:40,166
I'm in the passing lane of
the Arthur Berkhardt Expressway
37
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,700
going 70, and:
38
00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:43,366
[IMITATES COLLISION]
39
00:01:44,733 --> 00:01:47,256
Dragged this thing
for five exits.
40
00:01:47,256 --> 00:01:47,666
Dragged this thing
for five exits.
41
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,200
Why didn't you
pull over?
42
00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:52,666
Well, I was drafting behind
a semi. I didn't wanna lose him.
43
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:55,733
The infrastructure, Jerry.
It's crumbling.
44
00:01:55,766 --> 00:01:57,566
Holy cow.
45
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,500
Oh, look at that.
46
00:01:59,533 --> 00:02:01,200
Talking Nixon.
47
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,033
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
MAN [ON PHONE]: China Panda.
48
00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:06,700
Yeah, I'd like to
place an order.
49
00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:08,066
Uh, yes, what you like?
50
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,300
This supreme flounder.
It says,
51
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:12,666
"First time served in America."
Is that true?
52
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:13,700
What number?
53
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:14,966
Forty-seven?
54
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,066
Yeah. First time.
What else?
55
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:19,800
Uh, that's it.
56
00:02:19,833 --> 00:02:20,800
Address.
57
00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:22,300
78 West 86th Street,
58
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:23,533
apartment 3E.
59
00:02:23,566 --> 00:02:24,700
That's south side.
60
00:02:24,733 --> 00:02:26,900
Sorry, we don't
deliver below 86.
61
00:02:26,933 --> 00:02:28,000
I'm not below.
62
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,366
Yes, you are.
63
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,233
Street itself is boundary.
64
00:02:31,266 --> 00:02:33,000
Your guy can't
cross to my side?
65
00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:35,000
If we deliver to you,
then what?
66
00:02:35,033 --> 00:02:36,666
85th Street?
Wall Street?
67
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,733
Mexico?
84th Street?
68
00:02:38,766 --> 00:02:42,166
All right, fine.
I'll just cross and meet him.
69
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,000
Sorry. Food only for those
who live within boundary.
70
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,166
[TELEPHONE DIALING]
71
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,666
[RINGS]
72
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:54,700
China Panda.
73
00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:56,000
[HIGH VOICE]
Uh, yeah, yeah.
74
00:02:56,033 --> 00:02:57,233
Uh, I'd like to
place an order.
75
00:02:58,533 --> 00:02:59,766
All right, what you like?
76
00:03:03,366 --> 00:03:05,000
Well...
77
00:03:05,033 --> 00:03:07,200
Well. I'm a papa.
78
00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:09,666
Bring it on. Nothing's
throwing me at this point.
79
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:11,866
Well, as of today,
I am a proud parent
80
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,866
of a one-mile stretch of
the Arthur Berkhardt Expressway.
81
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:16,666
Oh, that
Adopt-A-Highway thing.
82
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:17,256
Yeah, I'm part of
the solution now, Jerry.
83
00:03:17,256 --> 00:03:18,500
Yeah, I'm part of
the solution now, Jerry.
84
00:03:18,533 --> 00:03:21,333
Yeah, I went down there, and
I checked it out this morning.
85
00:03:21,366 --> 00:03:22,333
Here. Take a look.
86
00:03:22,366 --> 00:03:24,000
Mile 114.
87
00:03:24,033 --> 00:03:25,633
Oh. Looks
just like you.
88
00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:27,333
Oh, I'm beaming, Jerry.
89
00:03:27,366 --> 00:03:29,333
So, what do you have to do?
Pay to keep it clean?
90
00:03:29,366 --> 00:03:32,033
Oh, no. They try to push you
into using their cleaning crew
91
00:03:32,066 --> 00:03:34,533
with all their so-called
maintenance equipment.
92
00:03:34,566 --> 00:03:35,700
That old scam.
93
00:03:35,733 --> 00:03:37,366
That's why I'm doing
it all myself.
94
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,833
This parenting isn't about
delegating responsibility,
95
00:03:39,866 --> 00:03:41,200
it's about being there.
96
00:03:41,233 --> 00:03:43,500
At the side of the road
with a pile of garbage.
97
00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:45,666
Quality time.
98
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,256
Keys. I can't find my keys.
99
00:03:47,256 --> 00:03:47,866
Keys. I can't find my keys.
100
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,700
You lost Phil Rizzuto's
head?
101
00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:50,866
Have you seen him?
No.
102
00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:52,033
Damn it.
KRAMER: Come on,
103
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,033
retrace your steps.
104
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,166
What'd you do today?
105
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,200
I got up, I was
supposed to go to work,
106
00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:58,000
I came here instead.
All right.
107
00:03:58,033 --> 00:04:00,333
They're not here. You'll
have to dig up your spare set.
108
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,000
I don't have
a spare set.
109
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:04,066
All my keys say
"do not duplicate."
110
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:05,466
So?
111
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,333
So you can't
duplicate 'em.
112
00:04:07,366 --> 00:04:08,800
[JERRY and KRAMER LAUGH]
113
00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:10,133
Sure you can.
114
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,433
Such a sweet
kid. Ha.
115
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:23,866
Oh. Oh. Hi.
116
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:24,900
China Panda?
117
00:04:24,933 --> 00:04:27,233
Why are you
waiting on the street
118
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:28,566
and not in your apartment?
119
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,300
I...
120
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:32,000
thought that I would
meet you halfway.
121
00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:35,400
Do you really live here?
Oh, yeah.
122
00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:37,833
There you go.
You keep the change.
123
00:04:37,866 --> 00:04:39,033
Bye now.
124
00:04:40,166 --> 00:04:41,266
I'll--
I'll see you.
125
00:04:42,833 --> 00:04:44,333
[DOORKNOB
RATTLING]
126
00:04:44,366 --> 00:04:45,433
[GROANS]
127
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,400
[DOORKNOB RATTLING]
128
00:04:50,533 --> 00:04:51,766
[CLEARS THROAT]
129
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,533
You know,
this isn't fair.
130
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:02,366
This is address
discrimination.
131
00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:07,000
Well, I cleaned out their
whole dental-hygiene shelf.
132
00:05:07,033 --> 00:05:09,633
So the plan is to
secretly sterilize her mouth?
133
00:05:09,666 --> 00:05:11,300
By the time I'm through
with her mouth,
134
00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:12,700
she'll be able to
eat off it.
135
00:05:12,733 --> 00:05:14,900
Is it safe to drink bleach
if you dilute it?
136
00:05:14,933 --> 00:05:16,500
No. Stings
the throat.
137
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:17,256
Anyway-- So I was
coming along here.
138
00:05:17,256 --> 00:05:18,200
Anyway-- So I was
coming along here.
139
00:05:18,233 --> 00:05:20,166
And I felt like
a piece of cake, you know?
140
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,866
So then I thought,
"It's morning.
141
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,233
I should really
have a muffin."
142
00:05:23,266 --> 00:05:24,866
I like those
chocolate chip ones.
143
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,000
And then I figured,
well,
144
00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:27,666
they're really
both cake.
145
00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:28,866
So I, uh--
I sat on that bench
146
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:30,066
for a little while--
147
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:32,500
20 minutes or an hour
--and then I figured
148
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,366
I'd check and see
what you were up to.
149
00:05:35,066 --> 00:05:36,666
Wait a minute.
150
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,700
Wait a minute.
The broad jump.
151
00:05:38,733 --> 00:05:41,200
The broad jump over the pothole
on 86th Street!
152
00:05:42,866 --> 00:05:45,166
Now I remember.
As I jumped over the hole,
153
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,256
I heard a jingling sound.
You didn't look down?
154
00:05:47,256 --> 00:05:47,500
I heard a jingling sound.
You didn't look down?
155
00:05:47,533 --> 00:05:48,966
I was trying to
stick the landing.
156
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,100
I know it was
right around here.
157
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:54,266
No. No!
158
00:05:55,433 --> 00:05:57,566
RIZZUTO HEAD:
Holy-- Holy cow.
159
00:05:58,366 --> 00:05:59,700
Poor son of a bitch.
160
00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:04,566
JERRY:
It's 100,000 revolutions
a second.
161
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,166
It's the most powerful one
they make.
162
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,866
I feel like I'm
holding a blender.
163
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:10,700
The engine's made
by McDonnell Douglas.
164
00:06:12,033 --> 00:06:14,566
No, no, you keep going.
It shuts off automatically.
165
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,566
Really? It does?
166
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:17,256
When the battery
runs out.
167
00:06:17,256 --> 00:06:18,400
When the battery
runs out.
168
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,733
I was really happy
with my old toothbrush.
169
00:06:22,766 --> 00:06:26,366
Oh, trust me, that one
was doing more harm than good.
170
00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:30,600
Don't forget to use
the Plax too.
171
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,166
That stuff
tastes like bleach.
172
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,400
I don't know
anything about that.
Huh.
173
00:06:38,033 --> 00:06:39,033
Mm.
174
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,200
My mouth feels
so clean.
175
00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:43,500
That's the idea.
176
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:47,256
[♪]
177
00:06:47,256 --> 00:06:48,000
[♪]
178
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,333
You know, maybe
we'd better not.
179
00:06:54,366 --> 00:06:56,000
I-I think I'm
getting a little cold.
180
00:06:56,033 --> 00:06:58,166
I don't wanna give you
any of my germs.
181
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,166
Oh.
182
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:00,500
Okay.
183
00:07:00,533 --> 00:07:02,266
Thanks. I guess.
184
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,833
ELAINE:
You still couldn't kiss her?
185
00:07:06,866 --> 00:07:08,333
She has
a taint.
186
00:07:08,366 --> 00:07:10,000
I can't see it,
but I know it's there.
187
00:07:10,033 --> 00:07:13,800
Oh. So now you're finding fault
on a subatomic level.
188
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,466
Maybe if I could
shrink myself down,
189
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:16,800
like in Fantastic Voyage,
190
00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:17,256
and get inside a microscopic
submarine, I could be sure.
191
00:07:17,256 --> 00:07:19,666
and get inside a microscopic
submarine, I could be sure.
192
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,366
Although if there was
something there,
193
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,700
it might be
pretty scary.
194
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:25,000
Of course, I would
have that laser.
195
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,500
Jer...
196
00:07:27,533 --> 00:07:29,200
do you see
where this is going?
197
00:07:29,233 --> 00:07:31,366
Being really clean
and happy?
198
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,200
Jerry...
199
00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:35,033
you have tendencies.
200
00:07:35,066 --> 00:07:37,133
They are
always annoying,
201
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,900
but they were
just tendencies.
202
00:07:38,933 --> 00:07:41,233
But now, if you can't
kiss this girl,
203
00:07:41,266 --> 00:07:43,533
I-- I'm afraid
we're talking disorder.
204
00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:45,666
Disorder?
And from disorder,
205
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:46,733
you're a quirk or two away
206
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:47,256
from full-on dementia.
207
00:07:47,256 --> 00:07:50,533
from full-on dementia.
208
00:07:50,566 --> 00:07:53,100
Hm. That could hurt me.
209
00:07:53,866 --> 00:07:55,166
Hey, there
it is.
210
00:07:58,433 --> 00:08:00,000
Should we stop
and say hi?
211
00:08:00,033 --> 00:08:02,066
Nah,
we've seen it.
Yeah.
212
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,900
[HONKS HORN]
Hey, Jerry!
213
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:06,700
Yeah, I'll see you
back at the house!
214
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,666
Mile 114,
215
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,933
clean as a whistle.
216
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,400
[HORNS HONKING]
217
00:08:27,733 --> 00:08:29,200
[TIRES
SQUEALING]
218
00:08:29,233 --> 00:08:30,933
[HORNS HONKING]
219
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:37,733
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
220
00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:41,133
Yeah?
Hi.
221
00:08:41,166 --> 00:08:43,233
I'm your neighbor.
222
00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:45,533
Uh, from-- From across
the street.
223
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,233
And, um...
224
00:08:47,266 --> 00:08:48,466
Tsk. Ahem.
I was wondering,
225
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:49,966
if it wouldn't
be too much trouble,
226
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,900
if I could use
your apartment
227
00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:54,200
to order some food.
228
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,733
What? W-what do you want?
229
00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:57,833
You see, there's
this certain flounder.
230
00:08:57,866 --> 00:09:01,466
And they won't deliver it
to my side of the street.
231
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,100
When-- When is that?
232
00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:06,400
No, I just need them
to deliver it here.
233
00:09:06,433 --> 00:09:09,466
And I have to be
kind of inside, is all.
234
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,900
Who are you with?
235
00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:14,233
No, actually, I'm--
I'm just kind of hungry.
236
00:09:14,266 --> 00:09:15,333
[CHUCKLES]
And--
237
00:09:15,366 --> 00:09:16,666
Who let you in?
238
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:17,256
Well, the lock
was broken.
239
00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:18,566
Well, the lock
was broken.
240
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,133
You just have to
jiggle it,
241
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:21,400
actually, to g--
But--
Hm.
242
00:09:21,433 --> 00:09:23,733
I just need, like,
a half an hour to an hour.
243
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:28,366
[SIGHS]
244
00:09:38,266 --> 00:09:39,866
JERRY:
What's with the signs?
245
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:42,000
Ah. you should see
the Berkhardt, Jerry.
246
00:09:42,033 --> 00:09:43,000
My mile
is spotless.
247
00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,700
I mean,
the big stuff was easy:
248
00:09:44,733 --> 00:09:46,566
cinder blocks,
air conditioners,
249
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:47,256
shopping carts:
vrrt!
250
00:09:47,256 --> 00:09:47,900
shopping carts:
vrrt!
251
00:09:47,933 --> 00:09:49,833
I just rolled them
into the woods.
252
00:09:49,866 --> 00:09:52,033
Yeah, that stuff's
all-natural anyway.
253
00:09:52,066 --> 00:09:53,033
Yeah.
254
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:57,000
Speed limit,
165 miles per hour.
255
00:09:57,033 --> 00:09:59,166
See? They slipped
a one in there.
256
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,800
[LAUGHING]
Those kids with the spray paint.
257
00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:03,233
God love 'em.
258
00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:07,333
Hey, so? Keys?
259
00:10:07,366 --> 00:10:09,900
No keys. And I've been
calling the city all day.
260
00:10:09,933 --> 00:10:12,333
There's not a number to call
if you wanna make a pothole.
261
00:10:12,366 --> 00:10:14,633
I guess they leave that
up to the general population.
262
00:10:14,666 --> 00:10:17,256
I'll tell you this. If the real
Phil Rizzuto was down there,
263
00:10:17,256 --> 00:10:17,566
I'll tell you this. If the real
Phil Rizzuto was down there,
264
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:18,833
this wouldn't be happening.
265
00:10:18,866 --> 00:10:20,566
Hard to say.
266
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,466
Wait a minute.
You need some roadwork done?
267
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,566
I met some maintenance guys
today on the highway.
268
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,033
They could probably
help you out.
269
00:10:26,066 --> 00:10:27,233
Really?
KRAMER: Oh, yeah.
270
00:10:27,266 --> 00:10:28,666
I borrowed some cones
from them
271
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,633
when I was sweeping
my car-pool lane.
272
00:10:30,666 --> 00:10:31,900
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
273
00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:33,500
Yeah?
JENNA: It's Jenna.
274
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,900
Ah, if you guys
wouldn't mind...
275
00:10:35,933 --> 00:10:37,933
I would like to
ward off dementia.
276
00:10:38,933 --> 00:10:40,300
You can hook me up
with them?
277
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,966
Oh, yeah. Give me
a ring tomorrow.
278
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,333
I'm gonna be at emergency
call box 784.
[SNAPS]
279
00:10:44,366 --> 00:10:46,066
Seven-eight-four.
280
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:47,256
Hey.
Hi.
281
00:10:47,256 --> 00:10:47,500
Hey.
Hi.
282
00:10:47,533 --> 00:10:49,066
How you feeling?
Good.
283
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:50,500
My cold's gone,
284
00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:52,466
and I've been looking
forward to kissing you.
285
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:55,166
Which I'm ready to do now,
if you are ready.
286
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,100
Okay.
287
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:02,700
What?
288
00:11:02,733 --> 00:11:04,900
Nothing. I just--
I, uh...
289
00:11:04,933 --> 00:11:06,700
I bruised my lip.
I was drinking a Cel-Ray,
290
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:09,566
and I brought it up too fast,
and I banged it into my lip.
291
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:10,566
And then I knocked
292
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,133
your toothbrush
into the toilet.
293
00:11:12,166 --> 00:11:14,833
And I wasn't able to tell you
before you could use it.
294
00:11:14,866 --> 00:11:15,900
What?
295
00:11:15,933 --> 00:11:16,900
I'm sorry.
296
00:11:16,933 --> 00:11:17,256
When were you
gonna tell me this?
297
00:11:17,256 --> 00:11:18,866
When were you
gonna tell me this?
298
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:19,933
Obviously never.
299
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,900
I need
the yield sign.
300
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:26,500
Kramer...I'm kind of
in the middle of something.
301
00:11:26,533 --> 00:11:30,033
Would you get these signs
out of here, please?
302
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,666
You could have
introduced me.
303
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,000
I wouldn't know
where to start.
304
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:38,633
Hey.
305
00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:41,100
Jenna. Hey.
306
00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:43,633
There.
307
00:11:43,666 --> 00:11:46,333
Now something of yours
has been in the toilet.
308
00:11:46,366 --> 00:11:47,256
What? Well, what did
you put in there?
309
00:11:47,256 --> 00:11:49,000
What? Well, what did
you put in there?
310
00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:50,000
Gotta run.
311
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:56,900
Oh, man.
312
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:04,705
JERRY:
Hello, Jenna?
Did you dunk the spatula?
313
00:12:04,738 --> 00:12:06,684
Was it the spatula?
Hello?
314
00:12:06,717 --> 00:12:08,217
Damn it!
315
00:12:09,617 --> 00:12:11,084
Didn't even
give you a hint?
316
00:12:11,117 --> 00:12:12,317
No. Could be anything.
317
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:13,950
The whole apartment's
a biohazard.
318
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,917
You know what I bet it is?
Your remote.
319
00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:19,550
Yes, that is a definite
possibility.
320
00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:22,884
Or it could be
your Walkman there.
321
00:12:25,117 --> 00:12:26,650
Are you just
screwing with me?
322
00:12:26,684 --> 00:12:27,617
Yeah. I am.
323
00:12:29,684 --> 00:12:29,761
Hey.
Hey. How's life on the road?
324
00:12:29,761 --> 00:12:31,150
Hey.
Hey. How's life on the road?
325
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,584
I'm making a difference,
Jerry.
I don't doubt it.
326
00:12:33,617 --> 00:12:36,084
You should see the smiles
on the drivers' faces.
327
00:12:36,117 --> 00:12:37,484
I mean, you gotta
look quick...
328
00:12:37,517 --> 00:12:38,584
but they're there.
329
00:12:38,617 --> 00:12:40,750
This.
What's this?
330
00:12:40,784 --> 00:12:43,117
You know those annoying little
bumps on the lane lines?
331
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:44,717
[IMITATES BUMPING CAR]
332
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:47,917
Isn't that some kind of
safety thing?
333
00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:50,717
Well, I had to pull 'em up
if I'm gonna widen the lanes.
334
00:12:51,717 --> 00:12:53,350
What the hell
are you talking about?
335
00:12:53,384 --> 00:12:56,617
Well...you know how in planes
they got first class?
336
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,084
More legroom,
better ride?
337
00:12:58,117 --> 00:12:59,761
Well, I'm bringing
that concept to mile 114.
338
00:12:59,761 --> 00:13:00,950
Well, I'm bringing
that concept to mile 114.
339
00:13:00,984 --> 00:13:03,317
How are you gonna
widen the lanes?
340
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,517
Well, you black out
lane lines one and three,
341
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:06,917
and a four-lane
highway
342
00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:09,984
becomes a two-lane
comfort cruise.
343
00:13:10,017 --> 00:13:11,517
So you got any black paint?
344
00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:13,517
Yeah. In my tool shed,
next to the riding mower.
345
00:13:13,550 --> 00:13:15,317
ELAINE:
Yeah.
346
00:13:15,350 --> 00:13:17,750
I'd like an order
of supreme flounder,
347
00:13:17,784 --> 00:13:19,250
number 47.
348
00:13:19,284 --> 00:13:20,684
Yeah.
349
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,950
Apartment 1Q.
350
00:13:22,984 --> 00:13:25,017
1Q? Whose apartment
is that?
351
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:27,350
That's the janitor closet...
352
00:13:27,384 --> 00:13:29,450
across the street.
353
00:13:29,484 --> 00:13:29,761
You're pretending to live in
a janitor's closet
354
00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:31,517
You're pretending to live in
a janitor's closet
355
00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:32,984
just to get this flounder?
356
00:13:33,017 --> 00:13:35,684
It's better than eating
it alone in the restaurant
357
00:13:35,717 --> 00:13:37,384
like some loser.
358
00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:40,350
That stuff is unbelievable.
359
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:41,584
I'd eat it out of
a dumpster.
360
00:13:41,617 --> 00:13:43,017
[SNIFFS]
361
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:45,984
How do you know about it?
You're not in the delivery zone.
362
00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:47,584
Well, Newman uses
his mail truck
363
00:13:47,617 --> 00:13:49,817
to run fish for China Panda
on the weekends.
364
00:13:49,850 --> 00:13:51,017
Well...
365
00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:53,484
mine's coming in 10,
so I'll see you boys.
366
00:13:55,017 --> 00:13:56,150
Now...
[CLAPS]
367
00:13:56,184 --> 00:13:57,717
...where's that tool shed
of yours?
368
00:14:06,884 --> 00:14:09,550
Hi. Sorry. I didn't hear you.
I was in the shower.
369
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,650
I'll see you.
370
00:14:15,184 --> 00:14:16,984
You Costanza?
Yeah.
371
00:14:17,017 --> 00:14:18,850
Thanks for-- Thanks for
coming by, fellas.
372
00:14:18,884 --> 00:14:19,984
Yeah.
373
00:14:20,017 --> 00:14:22,017
Got a set of keys
buried in the pothole.
374
00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:23,117
[CHUCKLES]
375
00:14:23,150 --> 00:14:24,784
What are the keys
doing in there?
376
00:14:24,817 --> 00:14:27,484
Just need to, uh--
To dig them up.
377
00:14:27,517 --> 00:14:29,117
You put 'em in there?
378
00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:29,761
No, no. It's, uh--
It's a long story.
379
00:14:29,761 --> 00:14:31,450
No, no. It's, uh--
It's a long story.
380
00:14:31,484 --> 00:14:34,284
Just, uh, try to
get it up.
381
00:14:34,317 --> 00:14:36,117
Bad place
to put your keys.
382
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:37,617
Yeah, I know that.
383
00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:38,550
[CLEARS THROAT]
384
00:14:39,650 --> 00:14:41,784
Could you start working?
385
00:14:41,817 --> 00:14:43,117
Difficult job.
386
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,150
If you want those keys,
387
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,817
we're gonna have to
dig this up.
388
00:14:47,350 --> 00:14:49,150
Oh, w-- Wait a minute.
389
00:14:49,184 --> 00:14:50,150
Wait a minute.
390
00:14:50,184 --> 00:14:51,450
[SNORTS]
391
00:14:51,484 --> 00:14:52,617
Is this about money?
392
00:14:52,650 --> 00:14:53,817
Yeah.
393
00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:54,950
[SNORTS]
394
00:14:54,984 --> 00:14:55,950
It's about money.
395
00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,617
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
396
00:15:10,817 --> 00:15:12,117
[MUMBLES]
397
00:15:14,450 --> 00:15:16,850
Excuse me. what are you
doing in there?
398
00:15:16,884 --> 00:15:20,284
Um, nothing.
I was just, um...
399
00:15:20,317 --> 00:15:21,850
I wasn't in there.
400
00:15:21,884 --> 00:15:25,284
You were hanging around
in there, lazing on the job,
401
00:15:25,317 --> 00:15:27,950
when you should have been
downstairs in the basement
402
00:15:27,984 --> 00:15:29,761
cleaning out those old carpets
and scrap wood.
403
00:15:29,761 --> 00:15:30,350
cleaning out those old carpets
and scrap wood.
404
00:15:30,384 --> 00:15:32,384
Right. Because...
405
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,684
I'm the janitor.
406
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,917
Don't get smart with me.
407
00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:39,184
Yes, ma'am.
408
00:15:40,484 --> 00:15:42,284
[ALARM RINGING]
409
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:45,117
MAN [ON RADIO]:
If you're heading north
on the Arthur Berkhardt,
410
00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:46,917
whoa, Nellie.
For some reason
411
00:15:46,950 --> 00:15:49,284
four lanes are converging
into two instantaneously
412
00:15:49,317 --> 00:15:50,684
right at mile marker 114.
413
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,117
I don't know what that is,
414
00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:54,084
but the A.B.E.'s
a parking lot out there.
415
00:15:54,117 --> 00:15:55,850
Somebody screwed up
on that one.
416
00:15:55,884 --> 00:15:56,984
[MOUTHS DIALOGUE]
417
00:15:59,350 --> 00:15:59,761
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
418
00:15:59,761 --> 00:16:00,684
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
419
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:04,450
Oh, it's you.
420
00:16:04,484 --> 00:16:05,784
Is the flounder here yet?
421
00:16:05,817 --> 00:16:06,950
No, it's not
here yet.
422
00:16:06,984 --> 00:16:08,384
You want the tour?
423
00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:17,450
There's this.
424
00:16:17,484 --> 00:16:18,750
Nice.
425
00:16:18,784 --> 00:16:20,950
French doors would really
open this place up.
426
00:16:20,984 --> 00:16:23,817
Oh, but you have
a slop bucket.
427
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,984
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
428
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,017
The fish.
429
00:16:29,484 --> 00:16:29,761
Oh. What are you doing here?
Hey.
430
00:16:29,761 --> 00:16:31,350
Oh. What are you doing here?
Hey.
431
00:16:31,384 --> 00:16:33,517
Hey.
Oh, I was, uh--
432
00:16:33,550 --> 00:16:35,784
I was waiting downstairs
for the jackhammer.
433
00:16:35,817 --> 00:16:37,517
I just thought I'd drop by.
434
00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:38,617
Kramer's guys?
435
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:40,317
Yeah. I got 'em down
to 50 bucks.
436
00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:42,450
I just have to do
all the jackhammering myself.
437
00:16:42,484 --> 00:16:44,617
Oh, that's nice. Kind of
a hard-labor fantasy camp.
438
00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:46,517
Yeah, you know...
439
00:16:46,550 --> 00:16:48,450
Ow!
Oh, man!
440
00:16:48,484 --> 00:16:49,650
[JUNK
CLATTERING]
441
00:16:51,484 --> 00:16:52,450
I, uh--
442
00:16:52,484 --> 00:16:54,117
[ALL SIGH]
443
00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:56,950
Oh. Sweet setup.
I--
444
00:16:56,984 --> 00:16:58,850
Look, Elaine, do you have
any paint thinner?
445
00:16:58,884 --> 00:16:59,761
I need like, uh, 40 gallons.
446
00:16:59,761 --> 00:17:00,817
I need like, uh, 40 gallons.
447
00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:02,950
I'm plumb out.
448
00:17:02,984 --> 00:17:04,484
Oh, damn.
449
00:17:04,517 --> 00:17:05,984
If I don't get
that black paint off,
450
00:17:06,017 --> 00:17:06,984
the city's gonna go ape.
451
00:17:07,017 --> 00:17:08,984
I don't wanna lose my baby.
452
00:17:09,017 --> 00:17:11,084
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
WOMAN: Janitor!
453
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:12,317
Oh. It's Mrs. Allister.
454
00:17:12,350 --> 00:17:14,517
Yeah, uh-- Yes, coming,
Mrs. Allister.
455
00:17:14,550 --> 00:17:16,917
Okay, I've gotta get out.
Let's go. Let's go.
456
00:17:16,950 --> 00:17:19,450
Here. Can you--?
You gotta move from the door.
457
00:17:19,484 --> 00:17:21,184
[CLATTERING]
458
00:17:24,350 --> 00:17:25,717
Hi.
459
00:17:26,817 --> 00:17:27,850
I, um--
460
00:17:27,884 --> 00:17:28,984
What can I do for you?
461
00:17:29,017 --> 00:17:29,761
I told you yesterday
462
00:17:29,761 --> 00:17:30,617
I told you yesterday
463
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,950
to haul that trash
out of the basement.
464
00:17:32,984 --> 00:17:34,484
Yeah. I am so sorry.
465
00:17:34,517 --> 00:17:36,784
Some of the children
have been playing near it
466
00:17:36,817 --> 00:17:38,450
and putting it
in their mouth.
467
00:17:38,484 --> 00:17:41,184
Well, a lot of it is vegetables.
[SCRAPING]
468
00:17:44,317 --> 00:17:45,350
You mop it.
469
00:17:48,017 --> 00:17:50,584
Get that stuff
out of there today,
470
00:17:50,617 --> 00:17:53,117
or you'll be out of here,
understand?
471
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:56,184
Yes, ma'am.
JERRY: Stop pushing.
472
00:17:56,217 --> 00:17:57,750
Ugh. Kramer
spilled ammonia.
473
00:17:57,784 --> 00:17:58,884
I don't feel like eating.
474
00:17:59,984 --> 00:18:01,150
I'm gonna
borrow this, huh?
475
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:05,884
Janitors' meeting.
476
00:18:07,984 --> 00:18:09,350
JENNA:
So, Jerry...
477
00:18:09,384 --> 00:18:10,950
why'd you call me?
478
00:18:10,984 --> 00:18:12,317
Well, I thought
it's about time
479
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:14,250
we put aside all this silliness.
480
00:18:14,284 --> 00:18:15,584
I know now that
you didn't
481
00:18:15,617 --> 00:18:18,084
put anything
in my toilet bowl.
482
00:18:18,117 --> 00:18:19,150
Did you?
483
00:18:19,184 --> 00:18:21,084
Yes. I did.
484
00:18:21,117 --> 00:18:22,617
Well, whatever.
485
00:18:22,650 --> 00:18:23,784
So how have you been?
486
00:18:23,817 --> 00:18:25,717
Good.
Good.
487
00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:28,417
Steak knife?
488
00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:29,761
It's just eating away at you,
isn't it?
489
00:18:29,761 --> 00:18:30,584
It's just eating away at you,
isn't it?
490
00:18:30,617 --> 00:18:31,684
No.
491
00:18:32,817 --> 00:18:34,084
Hi.
Hi.
492
00:18:34,117 --> 00:18:35,084
Hi.
Hi.
493
00:18:35,117 --> 00:18:36,417
Jerry, can I
borrow your car?
494
00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:38,117
For what?
495
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:40,084
I have to haul some
dirty garbage to the dump.
496
00:18:40,117 --> 00:18:41,184
Dirt? That's
all right.
497
00:18:41,217 --> 00:18:43,284
Because there's
nothing wrong with dirt.
498
00:18:43,317 --> 00:18:45,150
Well, actually,
it's pretty grimy.
499
00:18:45,184 --> 00:18:47,417
Grime, grease,
filth, funk, ooze.
500
00:18:47,450 --> 00:18:48,417
Whatever it is,
501
00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:49,984
you take that stuff
502
00:18:50,017 --> 00:18:51,617
and put it
right on
503
00:18:51,650 --> 00:18:52,984
my leather
upholstery.
504
00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:56,484
Well, I don't know
who you are,
505
00:18:56,517 --> 00:18:57,850
but thanks for the car.
506
00:18:57,884 --> 00:18:59,317
Sure. Bye.
507
00:18:59,350 --> 00:18:59,761
Bye.
Bye.
508
00:18:59,761 --> 00:19:00,317
Bye.
Bye.
509
00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:01,484
Bye.
510
00:19:02,617 --> 00:19:03,750
There.
You see?
511
00:19:03,784 --> 00:19:05,350
I just lent her my car,
512
00:19:05,384 --> 00:19:09,184
and she's gonna fill it
with all sorts of...
513
00:19:10,684 --> 00:19:13,284
All right!
You win.
514
00:19:13,317 --> 00:19:15,784
That car was my last
germfree sanctuary.
515
00:19:15,817 --> 00:19:17,317
I slept there last night.
516
00:19:17,350 --> 00:19:19,517
Now, for the love of God,
please, what is it?
517
00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:20,617
What is it?
518
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:21,617
Toilet brush.
519
00:19:21,650 --> 00:19:23,684
Toilet brush.
520
00:19:23,717 --> 00:19:25,784
Oh!
521
00:19:25,817 --> 00:19:27,650
All right.
I can replace that.
522
00:19:28,784 --> 00:19:29,761
You wanna order dinner?
523
00:19:29,761 --> 00:19:30,117
You wanna order dinner?
524
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:32,284
Yeah. Let's, uh,
go to your place.
525
00:19:33,850 --> 00:19:35,150
Because I...
526
00:19:35,184 --> 00:19:36,284
threw out
all my dishes.
527
00:19:38,484 --> 00:19:39,817
[JACKHAMMER
DRILLING]
528
00:19:53,117 --> 00:19:54,750
[GRUNTS]
529
00:19:54,784 --> 00:19:56,850
That's true.
Mm.
530
00:19:56,884 --> 00:19:59,017
But I'll tell you
this much:
531
00:19:59,050 --> 00:19:59,761
I am never
532
00:19:59,761 --> 00:20:00,584
I am never
533
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,817
going to let some
silly hygienic mishap
534
00:20:02,850 --> 00:20:04,750
get in the way
of what could be
535
00:20:04,784 --> 00:20:07,150
a meaningful,
long-lasting relationship.
536
00:20:09,117 --> 00:20:10,150
[METAL DINGS]
537
00:20:10,817 --> 00:20:12,984
[RUMBLING]
538
00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:16,117
Do you hear
something?
539
00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:17,550
[RUMBLING]
540
00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:20,284
I don't know
what that could be.
541
00:20:23,650 --> 00:20:25,484
[METAL GROANING]
542
00:20:28,284 --> 00:20:29,761
RIZZUTO HEAD:
Holy cow.
543
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:30,050
RIZZUTO HEAD:
Holy cow.
544
00:20:34,384 --> 00:20:35,584
JERRY:
Anyway,
545
00:20:35,617 --> 00:20:36,950
I'm a new man.
546
00:20:36,984 --> 00:20:39,417
And I'm looking
towards the future.
547
00:20:39,450 --> 00:20:42,017
Clean, dirty...
548
00:20:42,050 --> 00:20:43,117
whatever.
549
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:44,984
[EXPLOSION,
JENNA SCREAMS]
550
00:20:45,017 --> 00:20:46,150
[WATER
RUSHING]
551
00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:52,617
Holy cow.
552
00:20:55,717 --> 00:20:57,384
Have a nice life.
553
00:21:00,184 --> 00:21:02,284
Hey, look at this.
554
00:21:02,317 --> 00:21:04,417
Wide lanes.
555
00:21:04,450 --> 00:21:07,750
This is so luxurious.
556
00:21:07,784 --> 00:21:11,317
Mm. Yeah.
557
00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:17,050
[GRUNTING]
558
00:21:22,550 --> 00:21:24,417
Bugger.
559
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:28,017
♪ You're once, twice ♪
560
00:21:28,050 --> 00:21:29,761
♪ Three times a lady ♪
561
00:21:29,761 --> 00:21:31,084
♪ Three times a lady ♪
562
00:21:31,117 --> 00:21:33,184
[METAL CLANGS, TIRES SQUEAL]
563
00:21:33,217 --> 00:21:34,450
What the hell was that?
564
00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:42,350
Double bugger.
565
00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:45,850
NEWMAN:
♪ Yes, you're once ♪
566
00:21:45,884 --> 00:21:47,650
♪ Twice ♪
567
00:21:47,684 --> 00:21:49,117
♪ Three times a-- ♪
568
00:21:49,150 --> 00:21:50,150
[SCREAMING]
569
00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:51,384
[TIRES SQUEALING]
570
00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:55,984
Oh, the humanity!
571
00:21:56,017 --> 00:21:57,317
[♪]
572
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:59,617
[NEWMAN SCREAMING]
573
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:10,626
Hey, buddy. What are
you doing out here?
574
00:22:10,659 --> 00:22:12,926
Man, did you see
that fireball?
575
00:22:12,959 --> 00:22:14,926
Ooh.
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
576
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:17,293
[SIRENS WAILING]
577
00:22:17,326 --> 00:22:20,026
Hey, I gotta skedaddle.
You want a lift?
578
00:22:21,326 --> 00:22:22,626
Newman?
579
00:22:23,893 --> 00:22:25,526
Newman!
580
00:22:28,726 --> 00:22:31,193
All right, I'll meet you
at the coffee shop.
581
00:22:31,993 --> 00:22:32,530
[ENGINE STARTS]
582
00:22:32,530 --> 00:22:33,759
[ENGINE STARTS]
583
00:22:33,793 --> 00:22:35,626
[TIRES SQUEALING]
584
00:22:38,159 --> 00:22:40,626
[SIRENS WAILING]
585
00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:42,493
[♪]
586
00:22:43,626 --> 00:22:45,293
[NEWMAN SCREAMING]