1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,166
[♪]
2
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:04,233
MAN:
Well,
3
00:00:04,266 --> 00:00:06,900
if the big man wants
a new scoreboard,
4
00:00:06,933 --> 00:00:09,333
I don't wanna be the one
to tell him no.
5
00:00:09,366 --> 00:00:12,166
No one in the park is gonna be
able to see it from there.
6
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:16,666
Well, why don't we just put
a monitor in the skybox?
7
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:17,600
Hey, George...
8
00:00:18,433 --> 00:00:19,666
the ocean called.
9
00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:21,366
They're running outta shrimp.
10
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:22,600
[ALL LAUGHING]
11
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,833
[♪]
12
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:32,333
[MUTTERING]
13
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,700
"The ocean called.
14
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:35,333
They're running out
of shrimp."
15
00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:37,100
Got your shrimp.
16
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,200
Oh, yes!
17
00:00:41,233 --> 00:00:43,566
That's what I should
have said!
18
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:44,733
Damn it!
19
00:00:48,433 --> 00:00:49,866
[♪]
20
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,033
JERRY:
"The ocean called.
21
00:00:51,066 --> 00:00:52,466
They're running
out of shrimp"?
22
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:53,466
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
23
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:54,533
but then I said
to him:
24
00:00:54,566 --> 00:00:56,500
"Oh, yeah? Well,
the jerk store called,
25
00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:58,033
and they're runnin'
outta you."
26
00:00:58,066 --> 00:00:59,866
Really? That's great.
27
00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:01,366
[CHUCKLING]
You said that to him?
28
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,733
Well, actually, I-- I thought it
up on the way over here.
29
00:01:04,766 --> 00:01:07,000
Oh, that's not quite the same.
30
00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:09,166
No, no, it's not.
31
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:13,200
You don't know this guy.
It would have been so sweet.
32
00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:14,500
I'm gonna grab a can of balls.
33
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:15,733
All right.
34
00:01:15,766 --> 00:01:16,922
[EASTERN EUROPEAN ACCENT]
Hello. My name is Milos.
35
00:01:16,922 --> 00:01:17,966
[EASTERN EUROPEAN ACCENT]
Hello. My name is Milos.
36
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,166
How can I help you?
37
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,400
I need a can of balls.
38
00:01:20,433 --> 00:01:22,833
A can of balls
for the nice guy.
39
00:01:22,866 --> 00:01:24,833
All right-- Uh...
40
00:01:24,866 --> 00:01:28,366
You don't plan to hit these
balls with that racket, do you?
41
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,366
[♪]
42
00:01:33,933 --> 00:01:36,000
Checking out the staff picks,
Miss Benes?
43
00:01:36,033 --> 00:01:38,666
Oh, ha-ha, hey.
Yeah, yeah.
44
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:40,400
This Vincent guy,
he is the best.
45
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,366
He and I have
the exact same taste in movies.
46
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,166
Well,
Vincent is an art-house goon.
47
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,922
I stick to the Gene rack.
48
00:01:46,922 --> 00:01:46,966
I stick to the Gene rack.
49
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:51,800
Gene? Oh, he's so stupid
and mainstream.
50
00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:54,700
I've seen all of these,
so I went with the Kramer pick.
51
00:01:54,733 --> 00:01:56,700
The Other Side of Darkness.
52
00:01:56,733 --> 00:01:58,333
Huh, I never heard
of that one.
53
00:01:58,366 --> 00:02:00,266
Yeah, it went straight
to video.
54
00:02:01,666 --> 00:02:03,833
That makes me the premiere.
55
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,800
[♪]
56
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:08,033
[DOOR CLOSES]
57
00:02:08,066 --> 00:02:09,700
KRAMER:
Jerry? You ever seen the movie
58
00:02:09,733 --> 00:02:11,866
The Other Side of Darkness?
JERRY: No.
59
00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:13,566
It's about this woman
in a coma.
60
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,666
Well, I couldn't finish
watchin' it, so...
61
00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:16,922
I want you to read this.
62
00:02:16,922 --> 00:02:18,866
I want you to read this.
63
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:20,666
"I, Cosmo Kramer,
64
00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:24,133
"having just seen the movie
The Other Side of Darkness
65
00:02:24,166 --> 00:02:28,500
"and not wanting to be in a coma
like that lady in the movie,
66
00:02:28,533 --> 00:02:31,566
"hereby want Jerry Seinfeld
to remove my life support,
67
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,333
"feeding machine, lung blower,
Mm-hm.
68
00:02:33,366 --> 00:02:37,233
et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera."
69
00:02:37,266 --> 00:02:38,533
Can you do that for me,
buddy?
70
00:02:38,566 --> 00:02:40,733
Well, I don't know if what
you have here constitutes
71
00:02:40,766 --> 00:02:42,366
a legally binding document.
72
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,233
Well,
I'm gonna type it up.
73
00:02:44,266 --> 00:02:46,233
Yes, well, of course,
but even so,
74
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:46,922
you may wanna talk
to a lawyer.
75
00:02:46,922 --> 00:02:47,566
you may wanna talk
to a lawyer.
76
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,000
Yeah, well,
Jackie Chiles,
77
00:02:49,033 --> 00:02:50,966
he put a restraining order
on me.
78
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,800
I'm not allowed within 200 feet
of his office.
79
00:02:53,833 --> 00:02:56,066
I couldn't even give him
his Christmas present.
80
00:02:57,233 --> 00:02:58,733
Oh, hey,
new racket, huh?
81
00:02:58,766 --> 00:03:00,533
Yeah, I wasn't
gonna get it,
82
00:03:00,566 --> 00:03:02,733
but this guy, Milos,
who runs the pro shop,
83
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,000
he really recommended it.
84
00:03:04,033 --> 00:03:06,566
In fact, it's the only racket
he plays with.
85
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,933
Uh, you're not gonna need
this anymore.
86
00:03:10,866 --> 00:03:13,633
Hey, this is the Z page
of my address book.
87
00:03:13,666 --> 00:03:14,800
Oh, yeah,
I put all your Z's
88
00:03:14,833 --> 00:03:16,333
on the weights-and-measures
page.
89
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,533
Pfoof!
90
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,533
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING
OVER TV]
91
00:03:20,566 --> 00:03:22,200
[SOBBING]
92
00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:23,366
[SIGHING]
Oh.
93
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,400
Oh, bravo, Vincent.
94
00:03:26,433 --> 00:03:27,833
[SNIFFLES]
95
00:03:27,866 --> 00:03:29,566
Bravo.
96
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,766
[PHONE RINGS]
97
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,066
[BEEPS]
98
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:36,466
What?
99
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:38,733
MAN [OVER PHONE]:
Did you enjoy the movie?
100
00:03:38,766 --> 00:03:40,533
Who is this?
101
00:03:41,566 --> 00:03:43,633
It's Vincent.
102
00:03:43,666 --> 00:03:45,600
Of Vincent's picks?
103
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:46,922
The same.
104
00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:48,500
The same.
105
00:03:48,533 --> 00:03:50,666
[♪]
106
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,533
JERRY:
He called you?
107
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,633
He must have gotten my number
off the computer.
108
00:03:55,666 --> 00:03:57,666
We ended up talking
for like two hours.
109
00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:59,800
To a guy you've never met?
Mm.
110
00:03:59,833 --> 00:04:02,700
Your screening process
is getting ever more rigorous.
111
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:04,733
I'm trying
to meet him.
112
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,366
He's never
at the video store.
113
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,366
Ahem, they said he sets
his own hours.
114
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:10,533
MAN:
Little help!
115
00:04:10,566 --> 00:04:12,500
Hey.
Yeah.
116
00:04:12,533 --> 00:04:13,733
Thank you.
117
00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:16,922
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, my God,
that guy is terrible.
118
00:04:16,922 --> 00:04:17,066
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, my God,
that guy is terrible.
119
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:19,300
Mm-hm.
120
00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:21,166
Hey, how come we played
at this crummy place
121
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,300
instead of your club?
122
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:24,666
George used up
all my guest passes already.
123
00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:25,833
Oh.
[MAN GRUNTS]
124
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,733
Come on.
MAN: Thank you.
125
00:04:27,766 --> 00:04:28,900
[PANTING]
126
00:04:28,933 --> 00:04:30,366
Here you go.
127
00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:34,866
Milos?
128
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:37,466
Oh, hey.
129
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,733
How you doin'?
130
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:41,866
Okay.
131
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:44,733
Uh, we should, uh,
132
00:04:44,766 --> 00:04:45,966
wrap it up here.
133
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:46,922
[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]
134
00:04:46,922 --> 00:04:48,200
[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]
135
00:04:48,233 --> 00:04:50,333
[♪]
136
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,166
ELAINE:
So he was bad.
137
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,233
What do you care?
138
00:04:53,266 --> 00:04:56,133
Elaine, I paid $200
for this racket,
139
00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:59,200
'cause he said it's
the only one he plays with.
140
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:01,366
He could have played
just as well with a log.
141
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,066
Hey.
142
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,133
All right, I, uh--
143
00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:07,733
I talked to this lawyer,
Shellbach.
144
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:08,966
Now, he's gonna set me up,
145
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,866
but you gotta come with me
to be the executor.
146
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,533
The executor of what?
147
00:05:12,566 --> 00:05:14,233
Kramer wants to die
with dignity.
148
00:05:15,266 --> 00:05:16,922
There's a feather in your cap.
149
00:05:16,922 --> 00:05:17,400
There's a feather in your cap.
150
00:05:17,433 --> 00:05:20,000
I don't wanna be a vegetable,
Elaine. I just want out.
151
00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:20,933
[CLICKS TONGUE]
152
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,400
Sometimes in life,
153
00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:29,066
the gods smile upon you,
my friends.
154
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:31,933
Did you get someone to take
that Canadian quarter?
155
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,700
I got another meeting
with Reilly.
156
00:05:35,733 --> 00:05:37,300
A whole new audience,
157
00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:39,733
and I bet I can get him
to try that line again.
158
00:05:39,766 --> 00:05:41,733
Who's Reilly?
George was scarfing shrimp
159
00:05:41,766 --> 00:05:43,233
at this meeting,
and this guy says:
160
00:05:43,266 --> 00:05:44,666
"Hey, George,
the ocean called.
161
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,066
They're runnin'
outta shrimp."
162
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:46,922
[LAUGHING]
163
00:05:46,922 --> 00:05:48,600
[LAUGHING]
164
00:05:51,066 --> 00:05:52,566
[CHUCKLING]
Think that's funny?
165
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,566
Listen to the comeback:
166
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,033
"Oh, yeah?
Well, the jerk store called.
167
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,333
They're runnin'
out of you."
168
00:05:58,366 --> 00:05:59,266
[CHUCKLES]
169
00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:04,033
What? You gotta
be kidding me.
170
00:06:04,066 --> 00:06:06,000
How 'bout this one?
How 'bout:
171
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:09,900
"Your cranium called.
It's got some space to rent."
172
00:06:09,933 --> 00:06:10,900
[CHUCKLES]
173
00:06:10,933 --> 00:06:11,900
It's good.
174
00:06:11,933 --> 00:06:13,333
What does that mean?
175
00:06:13,366 --> 00:06:14,700
Hey, here you go:
176
00:06:14,733 --> 00:06:16,922
"Hey, Reilly, the zoo called.
You're due back by 6."
177
00:06:16,922 --> 00:06:17,300
"Hey, Reilly, the zoo called.
You're due back by 6."
178
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:18,633
No.
179
00:06:18,666 --> 00:06:19,733
No, no, no,
180
00:06:19,766 --> 00:06:21,200
you're not helpin' me.
Look,
181
00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:23,500
just tell him you had sex
with his wife.
182
00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:25,366
That'll get him.
183
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,866
I'm not lookin'
for another line!
184
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,066
I got the line!
185
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:31,000
Look, George,
just think about it, you know?
186
00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:32,500
You're married,
how would you feel
187
00:06:32,533 --> 00:06:34,366
if somebody says to you
that they had sex--?
188
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:35,566
All right!
You see?
189
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,466
This is why I hate writing
with a large group.
190
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:39,233
Everybody has their own
little opinions,
191
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,500
and it all
gets homogenized,
192
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,300
and you lose the whole
edge of it!
193
00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:44,466
I'm goin'
with "jerk store."
194
00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:46,922
"Jerk store"
is the line.
195
00:06:46,922 --> 00:06:47,066
"Jerk store"
is the line.
196
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:48,666
Jerk store.
197
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,200
Yes.
198
00:06:59,033 --> 00:07:00,033
Why?
199
00:07:00,066 --> 00:07:02,166
Did you take this out
of the garbage?
200
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,066
It's still got some spring
in the strings.
201
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,733
Oh, Jerry,
this is a piece of junk.
202
00:07:06,766 --> 00:07:09,300
How are you gonna be
the executor of my living will?
203
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,900
You-- You see,
you can't let go.
204
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:16,733
Trust me, Kramer,
given the legal opportunity,
205
00:07:16,766 --> 00:07:16,922
I will kill you.
206
00:07:16,922 --> 00:07:19,066
I will kill you.
207
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:20,400
I wish
I could believe you.
208
00:07:20,433 --> 00:07:21,866
[CLICKS TONGUE]
209
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,533
Hey, Elaine, do you have some
free time tomorrow afternoon?
210
00:07:24,566 --> 00:07:26,633
Me?
Yeah, because you're perfect.
211
00:07:26,666 --> 00:07:28,900
You're a calculating,
cold-hearted businesswoman.
212
00:07:28,933 --> 00:07:30,566
And when there's dirty work
to be done,
213
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,633
you don't mind stompin'
on a few throats.
214
00:07:32,666 --> 00:07:34,566
[GIGGLING]
Oh, come on.
215
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,066
[♪]
216
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:39,033
MAN:
Situation number four:
217
00:07:39,066 --> 00:07:40,466
You're breathing
on your own,
218
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:43,800
you're conscious,
but with no muscular function.
219
00:07:43,833 --> 00:07:46,066
Well, would I be able
to communicate?
220
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:46,922
I don't see how.
221
00:07:46,922 --> 00:07:47,666
I don't see how.
222
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,966
Ach, I don't like
the sound of this one.
223
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,366
Yeah. Yeah,
let's pull the cord, huh?
224
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:59,033
Yank it like
you're startin' a mower.
225
00:07:59,066 --> 00:08:01,200
Moving on.
226
00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:05,000
You have liver, kidneys
and gallbladder,
227
00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:07,200
but no central nervous system.
228
00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:14,200
Well, I gotta have
a central nervous system.
229
00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:15,566
Okay.
230
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:16,922
One lung, blind,
231
00:08:16,922 --> 00:08:17,400
One lung, blind,
232
00:08:17,433 --> 00:08:19,900
and you're eating
through a tube.
233
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,900
Nah, that's not my style.
234
00:08:22,933 --> 00:08:25,733
Boring.
235
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:29,900
All right. You can eat,
but machines do everything else.
236
00:08:31,366 --> 00:08:32,400
Hm.
Uh--
237
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:34,333
[SOFTLY]
What?
I'd stick.
238
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:38,733
Yeah, yeah, stick,
'cause I could still go
239
00:08:38,766 --> 00:08:40,233
to the coffee shop.
That's right.
240
00:08:40,266 --> 00:08:42,200
[♪]
241
00:08:43,233 --> 00:08:44,700
Hello, Milos.
242
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:45,800
Jerry.
243
00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:46,922
Thank God
you got my message.
244
00:08:46,922 --> 00:08:47,400
Thank God
you got my message.
245
00:08:47,433 --> 00:08:49,200
Thank you so much
for coming down here.
246
00:08:49,233 --> 00:08:50,500
Um, listen--
247
00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:52,233
You know, I spent $200
on a racket
248
00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:54,633
because I thought you knew
what you were talkin' about.
249
00:08:54,666 --> 00:08:56,233
I--
You can't even play.
250
00:08:56,266 --> 00:08:58,533
Believe me,
it is Milos' great shame,
251
00:08:58,566 --> 00:09:02,500
but, Jerry, I could lose
my business if anybody find out.
252
00:09:02,533 --> 00:09:04,133
How would you like
253
00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:06,700
extra year membership
on the club?
254
00:09:06,733 --> 00:09:08,800
Free. No charge.
255
00:09:08,833 --> 00:09:09,800
You could do that?
256
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:12,233
Jerry, for you,
anything. Heh.
257
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,733
Game, set and match, huh, Milos?
258
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:25,366
Uh, Jerry,
I'm so sorry.
259
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,200
They tell me there is no way
they can do it.
260
00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:30,900
Um, is there anything else
I could do for you?
261
00:09:30,933 --> 00:09:32,400
Anything at all?
I-- I--
262
00:09:32,433 --> 00:09:33,833
I refund your money.
263
00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:36,166
You know what, Milos, I don't
even care about the money.
264
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,666
I just feel like I was taken
by the worst tennis player--
265
00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:39,733
Shh! Shh! Shh!
266
00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:42,900
[WHISPERING]
I-- I make it up to you.
267
00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:44,366
Yeah, you make it up to me.
268
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:46,922
Tennis, anyone?
269
00:09:46,922 --> 00:09:48,200
Tennis, anyone?
270
00:09:48,233 --> 00:09:49,733
[GIGGLES]
271
00:09:49,766 --> 00:09:51,700
[♪]
272
00:09:52,566 --> 00:09:53,566
ELAINE:
Oh.
273
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,666
This is the one
Vincent told me about.
274
00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:58,066
The Pain
and the Yearning.
275
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:03,600
"An old woman experiences
pain and yearning."
276
00:10:04,733 --> 00:10:07,300
A hundred
and ninety-two minutes?
277
00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:08,466
[WHISTLES]
278
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:10,900
That's a lot of yearning, huh?
Yeah.
279
00:10:10,933 --> 00:10:12,633
You know,
these movies are great,
280
00:10:12,666 --> 00:10:15,733
but they are just
so emotionally exhausting.
281
00:10:15,766 --> 00:10:16,833
Yeah, well,
what you need
282
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:16,922
is some summertime
adolescent high jinks.
283
00:10:16,922 --> 00:10:19,300
is some summertime
adolescent high jinks.
284
00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:20,800
Really?
285
00:10:20,833 --> 00:10:23,233
Let's see
what Dr. Gene prescribes, huh?
286
00:10:23,266 --> 00:10:25,900
Oh, here.
Yeah, Weekend at Bernie's II.
287
00:10:25,933 --> 00:10:29,566
Now, that's an hilarious
premise.
Huh.
288
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:30,900
Well--
Yeah, get it.
289
00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:32,566
Yeah, I could use a chuckle.
Huh? Yeah.
290
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:35,566
What are you gettin'?
Uh, nothin'.
291
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:36,666
I'm gonna finish watching
292
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:38,166
The Other Side of Darkness.
Oh.
293
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,133
How much you got left?
Yeah, about two hours.
294
00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:43,300
Oh, yeah, she shot
in that coma pretty quick.
295
00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:44,866
[CLICKS TONGUE]
296
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,833
[♪]
297
00:10:46,866 --> 00:10:46,922
Bernie is dead, you morons.
298
00:10:46,922 --> 00:10:50,200
Bernie is dead, you morons.
299
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,066
Just because he's wearing
sunglasses, he looks alive?
300
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:54,066
Ugh.
301
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:56,400
How long is this weekend,
anyway?
302
00:10:56,433 --> 00:10:57,400
Ugh.
303
00:10:57,433 --> 00:10:58,666
[RINGS]
304
00:10:59,566 --> 00:11:00,566
[BEEPS]
305
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,066
Hello?
306
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:05,033
VINCENT [OVER PHONE]:
How's the movie, Elaine?
307
00:11:05,066 --> 00:11:06,233
Vincent?
308
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:09,366
A Gene pick. How could you?
309
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,233
I thought
we had something special.
310
00:11:12,266 --> 00:11:14,466
No, i-it doesn't mean anything.
311
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,922
I-- I'm not
even gonna rewind it.
312
00:11:16,922 --> 00:11:17,000
I-- I'm not
even gonna rewind it.
313
00:11:17,033 --> 00:11:18,366
[DIAL TONE]
314
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:19,366
Vincent?
315
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,400
[♪]
316
00:11:21,433 --> 00:11:22,400
MAN:
All right.
317
00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:24,133
Let's get to it.
318
00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:26,200
Wa-- Wait a minute.
What--? What about Reilly?
319
00:11:26,233 --> 00:11:28,533
Reilly doesn't
work here anymore.
320
00:11:28,566 --> 00:11:31,533
What? I--
I didn't hear about that.
321
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:34,366
Well, we only wake you up
for the important meetings.
322
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,533
[ALL LAUGHING]
323
00:11:36,566 --> 00:11:38,500
[♪]
324
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:41,666
[EASTERN EUROPEAN ACCENT]
Hello.
325
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,166
Hello.
326
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,333
Didn't I see you
at the pro shop yesterday?
327
00:11:45,366 --> 00:11:46,922
I think so. I'm Patty.
Milos gave me your address.
328
00:11:46,922 --> 00:11:48,866
I think so. I'm Patty.
Milos gave me your address.
329
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:51,033
I hope you don't mind me
waiting for you here.
330
00:11:51,066 --> 00:11:53,700
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, that Milos.
331
00:11:53,733 --> 00:11:57,500
Well, what should we do?
Um, care for a cup of coffee?
332
00:11:57,533 --> 00:12:00,000
Why don't we just go up
to your apartment?
333
00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:02,433
All right.
334
00:12:06,533 --> 00:12:09,033
Gotta be an easier way.
335
00:12:09,066 --> 00:12:10,833
WOMAN [OVER TV]:
Doctor, how's her coma?
336
00:12:10,866 --> 00:12:12,700
MAN:
Oh, exactly the same.
337
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,066
Wait a minute.
338
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,233
She's coming out of the coma.
339
00:12:18,766 --> 00:12:22,033
Mrs. Albright, can you hear me?
Are you okay?
340
00:12:22,066 --> 00:12:24,733
ALBRIGHT:
I feel so rested
and refreshed.
341
00:12:26,233 --> 00:12:28,400
Get me a toothbrush.
342
00:12:28,433 --> 00:12:30,200
[♪]
343
00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:32,166
So you play tennis?
344
00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:35,333
Enough talk, Jerry.
345
00:12:35,366 --> 00:12:36,733
Not for me.
I love chatting.
346
00:12:36,766 --> 00:12:38,900
Oh, shh.
347
00:12:38,933 --> 00:12:39,900
No!
348
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,233
No, I can't do this.
349
00:12:41,266 --> 00:12:43,866
I can't go through with this.
Not even for him.
350
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:45,000
Who?
351
00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:46,922
[SOBBING]
Milos, my husband.
352
00:12:46,922 --> 00:12:49,166
[SOBBING]
Milos, my husband.
353
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,666
Your husband?
354
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,033
[♪]
355
00:12:58,333 --> 00:12:59,466
[♪]
356
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,033
GEORGE:
And so concerned
357
00:13:01,066 --> 00:13:05,743
was he that word of his poor
tennis skills might leak out,
358
00:13:05,776 --> 00:13:09,043
he chose to offer
you his wife
359
00:13:09,076 --> 00:13:12,243
as some sort of medieval
sexual payola.
360
00:13:12,276 --> 00:13:15,576
He's new around here.
361
00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:18,043
So...details.
362
00:13:18,076 --> 00:13:20,810
Well, I didn't sleep with her.
363
00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:23,743
Because of society, right?
364
00:13:23,776 --> 00:13:27,076
Yes, George,
because of society.
365
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:27,610
So how did the big meeting
turn out?
366
00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:29,243
So how did the big meeting
turn out?
367
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,610
Reilly is no longer
with the club.
368
00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:32,876
You believe that?
369
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:35,043
Ah, you're better off.
Now you can just let it go.
370
00:13:35,076 --> 00:13:36,643
Yeah, yeah,
I'm gonna let it go.
371
00:13:36,676 --> 00:13:38,810
You never really had
the right comeback, anyway.
372
00:13:38,843 --> 00:13:41,043
Are you insane?
373
00:13:41,076 --> 00:13:43,710
"Jerk store" would have
smoked that guy!
374
00:13:43,743 --> 00:13:46,343
Smoked him, I say!
375
00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:49,710
Hey, oh, Jerry,
listen, uh...
376
00:13:49,743 --> 00:13:51,643
You know, I saw the rest
of that movie,
377
00:13:51,676 --> 00:13:52,976
The Other Side
of Darkness.
378
00:13:53,010 --> 00:13:55,210
The coma lady wakes up
at the end.
379
00:13:55,243 --> 00:13:57,610
Oh, I wanted to see that.
380
00:13:57,610 --> 00:13:58,210
Oh, I wanted to see that.
381
00:13:58,243 --> 00:14:00,010
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
382
00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:05,810
I didn't know it was possible
to come out of a coma.
383
00:14:05,843 --> 00:14:08,810
I didn't know it was possible
not to know that.
384
00:14:08,843 --> 00:14:10,810
GEORGE:
How was Eric Roberts
as the husband?
385
00:14:10,843 --> 00:14:12,610
Oh, unforgettable.
Oh!
386
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,143
I gotta find Elaine.
387
00:14:14,176 --> 00:14:15,643
You know,
she's gonna pull my plug.
388
00:14:15,676 --> 00:14:16,643
[CLICKS TONGUE]
389
00:14:16,676 --> 00:14:18,643
[♪]
390
00:14:22,343 --> 00:14:23,310
What?
391
00:14:23,343 --> 00:14:25,443
Betrayed?
392
00:14:25,476 --> 00:14:27,576
Oh, Vincent,
I'm so sorry, I--
393
00:14:27,610 --> 00:14:27,610
Hey, hey, listen, uh,
394
00:14:27,610 --> 00:14:28,776
Hey, hey, listen, uh,
395
00:14:28,810 --> 00:14:30,076
Elaine,
I've changed my mind
396
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:31,243
about the whole coma thing.
397
00:14:31,276 --> 00:14:32,743
Yeah, I decided
I'm up for it.
398
00:14:32,776 --> 00:14:35,576
Kramer, do you have any idea
what you've done?
399
00:14:35,610 --> 00:14:36,510
Excuse me.
400
00:14:38,810 --> 00:14:40,110
What are you doin'?
401
00:14:40,143 --> 00:14:41,276
Wha--?
[CLEARS THROAT]
402
00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:42,276
Wha--?
403
00:14:42,310 --> 00:14:45,443
Vincent stopped making picks.
404
00:14:45,476 --> 00:14:48,143
Well, how am I gonna know
what movies to see?
405
00:14:48,176 --> 00:14:50,643
We have a wide variety
of Gene picks.
406
00:14:50,676 --> 00:14:52,576
Gene's trash.
407
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:54,343
I'm Gene.
408
00:14:58,410 --> 00:14:59,376
Hi.
409
00:14:59,410 --> 00:15:01,576
[♪]
410
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:02,910
JERRY:
Milos, I can assure you,
411
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,643
I had no intention
of telling anyone
412
00:15:04,676 --> 00:15:07,443
about your unbelievably
bad tennis playing.
413
00:15:07,476 --> 00:15:10,610
Thank you,
but unfortunately,
414
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:14,110
I have much larger problems
to fry.
415
00:15:14,143 --> 00:15:18,476
My wife, she has no respect
for Milos anymore.
416
00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:20,076
I guess
that's a risk you run
417
00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:22,210
when you dabble
in the flesh trade.
418
00:15:22,243 --> 00:15:26,576
Patty, she-- She loves tennis
as much like I do.
419
00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:27,610
W-would you--? Will you
let me beat you in tennis?
420
00:15:27,610 --> 00:15:32,310
W-would you--? Will you
let me beat you in tennis?
421
00:15:32,343 --> 00:15:34,576
That is the only way
that I c-can show her
422
00:15:34,610 --> 00:15:36,576
that I'm still a man.
423
00:15:36,610 --> 00:15:39,043
Well, I'll do it as long as
there's no other girls around.
424
00:15:39,076 --> 00:15:40,776
I mean,
I wanna be a man too.
425
00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:42,976
[♪]
426
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,710
JERRY:
So you hurt Vincent's feelings?
427
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:47,210
Look what came
in the mail today.
428
00:15:47,243 --> 00:15:49,110
What's this?
429
00:15:49,143 --> 00:15:53,143
It's the play button
off his VCR.
430
00:15:54,510 --> 00:15:56,610
Boy, look how far back
it goes.
431
00:15:56,643 --> 00:15:57,610
It's like a tooth.
432
00:15:57,610 --> 00:15:58,576
It's like a tooth.
433
00:15:59,810 --> 00:16:03,243
So guess where
Mr. Ocean Phone turned up.
434
00:16:03,276 --> 00:16:05,776
He's workin' for Firestone
in Akron, Ohio.
435
00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:06,776
Ohio?
436
00:16:06,810 --> 00:16:08,076
Yup.
437
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:10,710
I'm leavin' first thing
tomorrow mornin'.
438
00:16:10,743 --> 00:16:13,610
You're flying to Akron
just to zing a guy?
439
00:16:13,643 --> 00:16:16,376
Don't you understand?
It's not about him.
440
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,976
To have a line as perfect
as "jerk store"
441
00:16:19,010 --> 00:16:20,076
and to never use it.
442
00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:22,310
I-I couldn't live with myself.
See,
443
00:16:22,343 --> 00:16:25,810
there are no jerk stores.
444
00:16:25,843 --> 00:16:27,610
It's-- It's just
a little confusing, is all.
445
00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:28,643
It's-- It's just
a little confusing, is all.
446
00:16:28,676 --> 00:16:29,910
It's smart.
447
00:16:29,943 --> 00:16:30,976
It's a smart line,
448
00:16:31,010 --> 00:16:33,210
and a smart crowd
will appreciate it.
449
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:37,076
And I'm not gonna dumb it down
for some bonehead mass audience!
450
00:16:38,510 --> 00:16:40,443
Not you.
451
00:16:40,476 --> 00:16:42,410
[♪]
452
00:16:43,810 --> 00:16:46,410
WOMAN [OVER TV]:
Oh, brittle bones.
453
00:16:46,443 --> 00:16:48,876
How I long to be rid
of the pain.
454
00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:50,010
[PHONE RINGS]
455
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:53,276
[BEEPS]
456
00:16:53,310 --> 00:16:54,276
Hello.
457
00:16:54,310 --> 00:16:57,276
Elaine, it's Vincent.
458
00:16:57,310 --> 00:16:57,610
Vincent. Where are you?
I have to meet you.
459
00:16:57,610 --> 00:17:01,610
Vincent. Where are you?
I have to meet you.
460
00:17:01,643 --> 00:17:04,776
No, I can't bear
to have anyone see me.
461
00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:09,976
Vincent, listen, I won't judge
you the way everyone else does.
462
00:17:10,010 --> 00:17:16,443
You're-- You're strange
and beautiful and sensitive.
463
00:17:16,476 --> 00:17:18,243
Now, let's have a look at ya.
464
00:17:18,276 --> 00:17:19,610
All right.
465
00:17:19,643 --> 00:17:22,776
But can you bring me
a few things from the store?
466
00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:25,310
I haven't been out
in a while.
467
00:17:25,343 --> 00:17:27,310
[HORNS HONKING]
468
00:17:29,843 --> 00:17:33,143
Well, go around,
you bunch of crazies.
469
00:17:33,176 --> 00:17:35,943
Maniacs are gonna get us
all killed.
470
00:17:35,976 --> 00:17:36,943
[♪]
471
00:17:36,976 --> 00:17:38,376
WOMAN:
Hi, can I help you?
472
00:17:38,410 --> 00:17:40,743
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I'm Cosmo Kramer.
473
00:17:40,776 --> 00:17:43,076
Yeah, I had an appointment
to annul my living will.
474
00:17:43,110 --> 00:17:44,376
Oh, Mr. Kramer,
Yeah.
475
00:17:44,410 --> 00:17:46,410
you had a 10:30 appointment.
476
00:17:46,443 --> 00:17:47,410
It's 2:00.
W--
477
00:17:47,443 --> 00:17:49,076
Mr. Shellbach
had a tennis lesson.
478
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,476
Wha--?
He's gone for the day.
479
00:17:50,510 --> 00:17:52,443
[♪]
480
00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:05,110
Too good.
481
00:18:05,143 --> 00:18:08,743
Another game for Milos!
482
00:18:08,776 --> 00:18:10,776
[LAUGHING]
483
00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:12,543
You're on fire today.
484
00:18:12,576 --> 00:18:14,543
Hey, Patty,
look at this guy.
485
00:18:14,576 --> 00:18:16,110
He's awful.
486
00:18:16,143 --> 00:18:17,643
[MILOS LAUGHING]
487
00:18:17,676 --> 00:18:19,210
He's not a man,
this Jerry.
488
00:18:19,243 --> 00:18:21,376
He's not even married
like I am.
489
00:18:21,410 --> 00:18:24,310
Hey, uh, Milos, I don't mind
rollin' over here,
490
00:18:24,343 --> 00:18:27,476
but could you lighten up
on the "not a man" stuff?
491
00:18:27,510 --> 00:18:27,610
Hey, everybody, look!
492
00:18:27,610 --> 00:18:29,743
Hey, everybody, look!
493
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,710
The little chicken girl
wants me to ease up.
494
00:18:32,743 --> 00:18:35,876
He can't handle this.
He cries like a woman.
495
00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:37,343
[LAUGHING]
496
00:18:38,143 --> 00:18:40,010
[♪]
497
00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:48,643
[CLEARS THROAT]
498
00:18:50,810 --> 00:18:53,076
Hello? Vincent?
499
00:18:53,110 --> 00:18:55,443
Elaine?
500
00:18:55,476 --> 00:18:57,610
I got what you asked.
501
00:18:57,610 --> 00:18:58,143
I got what you asked.
502
00:18:58,176 --> 00:19:00,376
Just leave it
and go.
503
00:19:00,410 --> 00:19:02,476
Well--?
Well, can I come in?
504
00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:04,643
No, go away, now.
505
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:07,743
No, no, Vincent, I...
506
00:19:07,776 --> 00:19:09,743
Oh, don't shut me out.
507
00:19:09,776 --> 00:19:13,776
I-- I just-- I know
you feel what I feel. I--
508
00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:15,476
Excuse me,
can I help you?
509
00:19:15,510 --> 00:19:16,876
VINCENT:
Oh, damn it.
510
00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:18,810
Uh-- Um, I'm here
to see Vincent.
511
00:19:18,843 --> 00:19:20,443
Well, I'm his mother.
512
00:19:20,476 --> 00:19:23,843
Vincent, what's goin' on here?
No, my acne!
513
00:19:25,343 --> 00:19:27,310
Acne?
514
00:19:27,343 --> 00:19:27,610
What do you have here?
515
00:19:27,610 --> 00:19:29,476
What do you have here?
516
00:19:29,510 --> 00:19:33,643
Vodka, cigarettes, fireworks.
517
00:19:33,676 --> 00:19:37,643
What kind of a sick woman
brings this to a 15-year-old?
518
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:41,776
We have the same taste
in movies.
519
00:19:41,810 --> 00:19:43,843
Did he send you part
of our VCR?
520
00:19:47,743 --> 00:19:49,243
Here.
521
00:19:55,076 --> 00:19:57,143
WOMAN:
Vincent!
522
00:19:59,010 --> 00:20:00,976
[♪]
523
00:20:07,443 --> 00:20:09,476
Look at the big baby.
524
00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:10,576
[LAUGHS]
525
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,776
Hey, big baby,
are you wetting yourself?
526
00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:15,243
Maybe it is time
527
00:20:15,276 --> 00:20:16,743
for you to be changed.
528
00:20:16,776 --> 00:20:18,110
[MILOS LAUGHING]
529
00:20:18,143 --> 00:20:20,976
I told you to cut it out.
530
00:20:21,010 --> 00:20:22,576
[GRUNTS]
531
00:20:24,143 --> 00:20:25,910
[QUIETLY]
Come on, what are you doing?
532
00:20:25,943 --> 00:20:27,610
[CHUCKLING]
The baby got lucky on that one.
533
00:20:27,610 --> 00:20:29,310
[CHUCKLING]
The baby got lucky on that one.
534
00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:38,576
Shellbach. Hey.
535
00:20:42,443 --> 00:20:43,643
[GRUNTS]
536
00:20:51,943 --> 00:20:53,276
Racket?
537
00:20:54,576 --> 00:20:55,976
[GASPS]
538
00:21:05,910 --> 00:21:07,810
[♪]
539
00:21:10,343 --> 00:21:13,110
So, George...
540
00:21:13,143 --> 00:21:14,376
you're proposing
541
00:21:14,410 --> 00:21:16,943
a Snow Tire Day
at Yankee Stadium?
542
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:19,110
As long as they don't
throw them on the field, heh.
543
00:21:19,143 --> 00:21:21,776
Help yourself to some shrimp.
I brought enough for everybody.
544
00:21:21,810 --> 00:21:24,376
I have to say, this--
545
00:21:24,410 --> 00:21:26,710
This proposal doesn't make
a whole lot of sense.
546
00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:27,610
Well, you never know.
547
00:21:27,610 --> 00:21:28,110
Well, you never know.
548
00:21:28,143 --> 00:21:30,110
Let's see how many
I can fit in my mouth.
549
00:21:32,110 --> 00:21:33,476
You know, George...
550
00:21:34,943 --> 00:21:36,643
the ocean called.
551
00:21:36,676 --> 00:21:38,476
They're running
outta shrimp.
552
00:21:38,510 --> 00:21:39,676
[ALL LAUGHING]
553
00:21:41,076 --> 00:21:43,010
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, yeah, Reilly?
554
00:21:44,576 --> 00:21:46,943
Well, the jerk store called.
555
00:21:46,976 --> 00:21:48,476
They're runnin' outta you.
556
00:21:49,910 --> 00:21:50,910
What's the difference?
557
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,776
You're their all-time
bestseller!
558
00:21:52,810 --> 00:21:54,010
[ALL LAUGHING]
559
00:22:01,410 --> 00:22:05,343
Yeah? Well, I had sex
with your wife.
560
00:22:06,676 --> 00:22:08,343
[CHUCKLING]
561
00:22:11,510 --> 00:22:12,943
[CLEARS THROAT]
562
00:22:16,910 --> 00:22:18,676
His wife is in a coma.
563
00:22:21,343 --> 00:22:23,343
[♪]
564
00:22:26,076 --> 00:22:27,010
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
565
00:22:29,410 --> 00:22:30,376
Hi.
566
00:22:30,410 --> 00:22:31,743
How's he doin'?
567
00:22:31,776 --> 00:22:32,776
He's been sleepin' a lot.
568
00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:33,776
He's still groggy.
569
00:22:33,810 --> 00:22:34,943
Oh.
570
00:22:34,976 --> 00:22:37,143
Well, I thought a movie
might cheer him up.
571
00:22:37,176 --> 00:22:38,610
I got him a Gene pick.
572
00:22:38,643 --> 00:22:39,943
What happened to Vincent?
573
00:22:39,976 --> 00:22:43,143
I'm kind of...off of him.
574
00:22:43,176 --> 00:22:44,343
Uh, outlet?
575
00:22:45,643 --> 00:22:46,610
Ah.
576
00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:51,476
[GRUNTS]
577
00:22:53,810 --> 00:22:54,943
[SCREAMS]
578
00:22:54,976 --> 00:22:56,943
[♪]
579
00:23:10,062 --> 00:23:12,529
"My wife's in a coma."
580
00:23:12,562 --> 00:23:17,262
Yeah? Well, the life-support
machine called, and...
581
00:23:17,295 --> 00:23:18,662
Stupid.
582
00:23:20,862 --> 00:23:22,329
Wait.
583
00:23:22,362 --> 00:23:26,029
Yes!
That's what I should've said!
584
00:23:26,062 --> 00:23:26,995
[YELLS]
585
00:23:29,729 --> 00:23:30,962
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
586
00:23:30,995 --> 00:23:31,589
You're meat, Reilly!
587
00:23:31,589 --> 00:23:32,929
You're meat, Reilly!
588
00:23:32,962 --> 00:23:34,662
You just screwed yourself!
589
00:23:34,695 --> 00:23:35,662
[LAUGHING MANICALLY]
590
00:23:35,695 --> 00:23:37,662
[♪]