1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:10,000 “The following episode contains sexual violence 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,960 "Which some viewers may find disturbing." 3 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,320 Six months. 4 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,160 It took her six months to report "Martha." 5 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,120 - May I help you? - I should have started talking about Terry. 6 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,800 And how Martha attacked her just yesterday, But I didn't. 7 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:40,280 I would like to report something. How's it going? 8 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,840 What would you like to report? 9 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,880 I should also have mentioned the harassment incident, But I didn't. 10 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,840 I don't know how to tell you this, But someone is chasing me. 11 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,880 -Are you being chased by a man or a woman? - Woman. 12 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,920 I should have mentioned her name And articles and her previous crimes, 13 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,040 But I just didn't. 14 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,560 Listen, I'm very worried. 15 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,360 I think she needs help. 16 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,360 When the policeman asked me... Why were you so late in reporting? 17 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,800 ...All the memories came flooding back to me. 18 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,160 "My spoiled gazelle" 19 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,080 About five years ago, I went to the Edinburgh Festival. 20 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:25,920 It has always been my ambition to perform there. 21 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,280 And to join the hustle and bustle of street artists 22 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,680 Those who gamble with their luck Hoping to achieve fame. 23 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,880 I knew I had to come To come here one day and risk it myself. 24 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,680 By writing, acting, and performing comedy And whatever it takes. 25 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,920 But I needed freedom 26 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:45,120 Which only comes from being one's dreams Great and let nothing prevent him from achieving it. 27 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,680 {\an8}"(The Hobby)" 28 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,120 So with my arrival at a casual place On the outskirts of the city 29 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,680 And my observation of its dirty windows and sticky floors 30 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,960 And the foul smell of oil when I entered, 31 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,160 It seemed beyond description to me. 32 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,480 - Hello. - Hello. 33 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,040 Can you tell me where you perform comedy? 34 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:08,760 Are you an actor or spectator? 35 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,200 I am an actor. 36 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,120 The door is there. 37 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:14,720 Thanks. 38 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,480 "Secondary" 39 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,720 Do you mean a different door or... 40 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,360 Plug it into the corner and push the table to the side. 41 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,480 What? Is this my theater? here? With the main bar? 42 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:42,520 That's right. 43 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,200 Does the TV keep working? 44 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:46,440 We mute the sound. 45 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,800 -And the spectators? -You can ask them to leave if you want. 46 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,240 I can't do that. 47 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,720 They visit the place all year round, As for me, I will only stay for a month. 48 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,040 Would you ask them to leave? 49 00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:58,520 No. 50 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,960 Do they even want to watch comedy? 51 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:04,120 There is only one way to find out. 52 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,600 Okay. We'd better start. Yes. 53 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:11,600 For your sake! 54 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,000 Edinburgh High School Festival! 55 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,280 Hello ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to the comedy segment. 56 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,280 I'll go behind this short wall and change my clothes. 57 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,120 And when I shout, cheer me on loudly They welcomed me to the stage. 58 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,080 What do you think about that? 59 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:28,720 Great. One person. 60 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,960 Well, here we go. 61 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,760 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage please 62 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,160 With "Donny Dan"! 63 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,400 Yes! Hear me cheer you on! 64 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,760 My mother died today. 65 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,760 Really? Don't answer? 66 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,560 It's funny opening a show like that And my mom just died, right? 67 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:12,200 Counterpoint? 68 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,000 The performances were terrible. 69 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,280 Most days, I had to cancel the show Because no one was present. 70 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,800 And one time, I had to end the show early 71 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,080 When she got stuck in the middle of a bachelorette party. 72 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,440 -Give me this! Hey! - Here! 73 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:32,480 No! 74 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,240 No, please! I need it for the rest of the month. 75 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:41,960 And some days, I was standing and not handing out any leaflets 76 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,360 Hopefully no one will come. 77 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:48,600 It had been about a week and I was really starting to feel it As if I were the scum of show business. 78 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,680 I circumcised myself last day. I just had to find scissors big enough. 79 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,000 Do you know what I mean? 80 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,120 I mean I have a big penis. 81 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,120 Don't answer? no? truly? Good. It's okay. 82 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,720 I went to the store to buy eggplant, and came back with these. 83 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,000 Fuck! He cheated on me, didn't he? 84 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,400 Right? Just stick some eggs to a plant. 85 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,800 I wondered if I packed my things and left If anyone will notice my departure, 86 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,440 And if someone would care. 87 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,560 Well ladies and gentlemen, this is the end of the show! 88 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,000 I'll stand by the door 89 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:32,360 Carrying a bucket to receive your donations. Donate what you think the show is worth. 90 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:34,880 Thanks for coming. 91 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:36,760 Thanks for coming. 92 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:38,560 Thanks for coming. 93 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,800 - What a pain! - This is better than yesterday, I think. 94 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,200 What happened yesterday? 95 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,760 Button and condom. 96 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,120 Hey, I have something for you. 97 00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,440 It fell out of someone's wallet. 98 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:03,480 It's yours if you want it. I know artists love flattery. 99 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,440 "Edinburgh High School Festival 2011" 100 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:09,400 "Luna's Pub" VIP bar 101 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,400 We didn't know If the idea would work if we filmed it. 102 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,520 Do you know the scene with the tin soldiers? 103 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:25,520 We shot it on a beach in Lancaster. Using food containers. 104 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,880 And we used so much that Benjy said He felt like his dental fillings were going to fall out. 105 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,960 Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt, But did you work on "Cottonmouth"? 106 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,640 - Yes. - Oh my God, I love this series. 107 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,760 -What was your job? -I was among the writers. 108 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,920 Oh, can I kiss your feet now? 109 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,080 Listen, I'm performing at Hobby Bar. 110 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,680 Come see it if you can. 111 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:51,440 - "Giggle at cancer." - Yeah, that's a great title, isn't it? 112 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,600 We will try to come. 113 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,320 Have you watched any decent shows? 114 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:56,520 - Goodbye. - Yes. 115 00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,080 Fuck. 116 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,160 Bastards, aren't they? 117 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,080 Yes, but I made a terrible first impression. 118 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,760 What a shock. You will never work in the industry again. 119 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,920 Unexpected chance of occurrence. 120 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,280 -See that young man over there? - Yes. 121 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,160 He wrote "Cottonmouth." It's amazing. Did you watch it? 122 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,560 - Various parts of it. I don't like this type. -You're crazy then. 123 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,240 It should be illegal To succeed like this while young. 124 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,000 Do you want to pour poison into his drink? 125 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,680 Wow, this is dark. 126 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:28,760 But yeah. 127 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,000 - The actors are the ones who made this series. -I completely agree with you. 128 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,400 God, I hate that his opinion matters to me. 129 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,040 What do you do? 130 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:42,560 I'm a comedian when people laugh And a showman when they're not laughing. 131 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,280 -And what did they do tonight? - They didn't laugh. 132 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,520 - I'm Donnie, by the way. - Darren O'Connor. 133 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:53,720 You mean who... 134 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:54,720 "Cottonmouth." 135 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,600 - What? But then who... - My assistant writer. 136 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,040 My former assistant now that I know He's stealing my job. 137 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,720 So sorry. I'm talking about the actors It was just a joke. 138 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,320 I knew who you were. The writing was the best thing about the series. 139 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,400 - Don't worry. - Damn... 140 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,440 -You just said you didn't like it. - I don't like it. 141 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,680 Why would you write a series you don't like? 142 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,800 I'm a TV whore. I will accept anything anyone gives me. 143 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,960 What about a failed comedian? 144 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:27,760 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage please 145 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:33,000 With the funny, anxious man... 146 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,360 We'll mostly omit this part. 147 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,520 "Donnie Dan!" 148 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,680 So my mother died today. 149 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,560 I think that's what she would have wanted. 150 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,640 Who wants to meet my friend Percy? 151 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,280 Yes! 152 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,840 Okay. 153 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,200 This is Percy. We offer a two-way offer To ventriloquism. 154 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,520 Hello Percy, how are you? 155 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,720 I'm fine, thanks. And you? 156 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,880 What did you do today, Percy? 157 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,160 Had oral sex. 158 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,040 Wow, wonderful. Thanks. 159 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,040 Great! 160 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,240 -Thank you for coming. - Cheers. 161 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,160 I appreciate you for this. 162 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,760 - Oh my God, 20 pounds. -You didn't say goodbye to me last night. 163 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,360 - So I thought I would come and say goodbye now. - True. Okay, goodbye. 164 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,280 No, wait. I'm just kidding, sorry. 165 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:52,080 You are a stranger. 166 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,160 Really? Fuck. 167 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,040 Don't worry. I don't mind a little weirdness. 168 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:02,000 Let's talk. I might have a few tips About how to elevate your offer. 169 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,680 Wow. Okay. This would be great. 170 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,920 - Goodbye then. - Yes, bye, cowboy. 171 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:08,960 For heaven's sake! 172 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,840 Darren got more involved in the show In the following weeks, 173 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,720 He advised me on successful and unsuccessful paragraphs. 174 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,520 ...and maintain eye contact. 175 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,320 We trained for hours to get everything right to the desired level. 176 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:31,680 Look at me. 177 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:32,920 Three rows from the front. 178 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,200 Soon the televisions were turning off, The seats were facing me. 179 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,920 Even the bar staff are turning away customers Who dare to ask about the ball. 180 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,880 No, we won't show it today. Try the bar down the street. 181 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,040 The offers flourished. 182 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:50,840 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage please 183 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,880 With "Donny Dan"! 184 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,520 So my mother died today. 185 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,560 Yes, I think that's what she would have wanted. 186 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,760 And every night, I went out with Darren. And I live the life of a celebrity 187 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,240 In the main private membership bar in the city, 188 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:22,160 We drink until the early hours of the morning, We talk about the show endlessly 189 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,600 And what we will do with it when the festival is over. 190 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,080 We have to get you to perform in London. 191 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,880 Darren was like no one I'd ever met before. 192 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:30,960 This is how he describes himself... 193 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:35,080 Buddhist with multiple romantic partners Polysexual who loves high-end things. 194 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,480 Within two weeks of knowing him, he enlightened me 195 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,920 An excitement I never knew existed. 196 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,160 It is difficult to call for help when you are tied to a radiator 197 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,720 There is a ball gag in your mouth. 198 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:47,160 While sitting in this private membership bar We had deep conversations, 199 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,760 I felt like I was flying on the winds of change. 200 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,680 Like this man He was dangling the keys to a secret club in front of me. 201 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:55,560 All I had to do was hold his hand and let him guide me. 202 00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:57,080 What are we doing here? 203 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,040 They're scouring the toilets. 204 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,000 We have to have you write the scripts with me. 205 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,800 Yes. This is going to be amazing. 206 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,520 -Are you ready? -I'm ready for anything. 207 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,120 Good. Take. 208 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:32,920 Fuck. 209 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,160 Obedient boy. 210 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,840 But all good things have an end. 211 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:46,640 If you think that's bad, you're drunk So much so that I put a hair net on my penis. 212 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,200 Darren returned to London early, 213 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,840 I didn't hear from him for the rest of the festival. 214 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,600 Maybe he was taking a break Or on vacation somewhere, 215 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,160 But his lack of presence seemed strange. 216 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,320 And with the start of getting rid of the leaflets remove stickers, 217 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,360 TVs are back on, And the ball games start, 218 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,200 I doubted whether this was just a crazy dream. 219 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,760 And whether it had happened at all. 220 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:12,960 So. 221 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:17,240 To dance as if there were fire Flowing through your veins. 222 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,960 Let it take you where it wants. 223 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:22,120 In the following months, She went to acting school in Oxford. 224 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:25,920 And I remember when I was accepted, I almost collapsed crying with happiness. 225 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,560 But after everything that happened in Edinburgh, 226 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,240 And even though I knew Kelly, 227 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,800 Returning to a life of learning seemed like a stumbling block. 228 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,920 And with me dancing in my gymnastics dress Pretending to be fire... 229 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,760 Or do vocal warm-up exercises... 230 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,480 Or traditional for animals 231 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,040 And do anything but act, 232 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,520 I felt one of these feelings Which is difficult to express 233 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:51,760 In my stomach. 234 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,080 I miss Darren. 235 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:59,640 I miss the trust he gave me And my sense of fit, 236 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,920 And hopefully one day May my life lead me to a better place. 237 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:08,400 Now I'm just a body in a sea of bodies, I felt like I was nobody again, 238 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,880 As if I was shrinking from the world After I fell in love with him. 239 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,240 "Donnie." 240 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:16,880 Are you coming? 241 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,120 Yes. 242 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,640 "(Darren)" 243 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,200 Sorry, I have to take this call. 244 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,800 Are you okay? Yes. 245 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,640 I'm glad to hear your voice. 246 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,440 Yes. I like that. I'm enjoying my time. 247 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,760 Listen, is there a better time to talk? I'm actually in line right now. 248 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,200 What? Are you serious? Do you want me to write with you? 249 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,840 Yes, man. Absolutely. naturally. I mean... 250 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:22,800 Donnie, what are you doing? She's so angry inside. 251 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,200 Yeah, I'll be over in two seconds, okay? 252 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,120 Listen, I have to hang up, But yeah, definitely. 253 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:46,360 "Donnie Brasco." 254 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:47,520 Sinead O'Connor. 255 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,640 Nice to see you. Are you okay? 256 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,120 Yes, please come in. 257 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,160 Thanks, yeah. 258 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,640 Wow, this place is amazing. 259 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,240 Wow, you have a cat. 260 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,000 "Fergus." We are in love with each other. 261 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,560 I'm not surprised. 262 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,280 You're a pretty cat, aren't you, Fergus? Hello my friend. 263 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,480 Would you like a cup of tea? 264 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:21,680 Well, I actually composed A few scenes and so on. 265 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,960 Nothing important. It still needs some improvement. 266 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,360 Okay. 267 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,840 Sixty pages. 268 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,720 Yes, it didn't take long. 269 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:39,960 I'll tell you what. 270 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,880 Why don't you break it down for me? It will be a good lesson in how to present ideas. 271 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,000 Well, it's about a guy named Nigel, 272 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,040 He is an ambitious lawyer who decides at the age of 50 273 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,680 To try professional wrestling. 274 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,320 This is a very narrow field. 275 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,520 Really? 276 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:02,000 Yes. Who still watches wrestling? After the age of 6? 277 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,200 Yes, not me. 278 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,040 Continue. 279 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:16,200 Anyway, he's excited He starts wrestling more and more. 280 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,520 He soon finds himself struggling To balance his two worlds. 281 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,840 And he starts going to court with swollen eyes, 282 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,840 Or he forgets to remove his makeup and... 283 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,560 He finds himself faced with two options. 284 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,480 Either live his life as a lawyer Or he lives it as "Hangman Harry", 285 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:36,880 The rowdy, beer-drinking wrestler From Austin, Texas. 286 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,560 "Hangman Harry" is his wrestling name. 287 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,600 Needs more improvement. 288 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,000 But you didn't read it. 289 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,720 I will read it when you convince me. 290 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,360 I can sit in another room and try... 291 00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:53,720 Do you want to get high? 292 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,160 - What, here? - Yes, what's the problem? 293 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,600 We can go out and have a drink later. It'll be like we were in Edinburgh again. 294 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,200 Yes, of course. 295 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,160 Heck, I've worked with some comedy legends. 296 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,840 - How are they? - They are normal. 297 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,160 No, it's impossible for you to mean that. They are amazing. 298 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:31,120 Some of them will be among the top five I would love to host them for a dinner party. 299 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:32,200 Have you ever played this game? 300 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,560 You can invite anyone to dinner, But you can only choose five. 301 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,000 That sounds terrible. My home is a sacred place. 302 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,960 No one enters it unless he is very special. 303 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,560 Honestly, that's an evasive answer. Who will they be? 304 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,360 They won't be celebrities. 305 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,160 They will be leaders, teachers, and spiritually aware. 306 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,800 These or several versions of me. 307 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,400 Six of you in one party. Wow, I can imagine The amount of drugs that will be present. 308 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:03,680 I'll tell you who I'll be hosting. 309 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,320 Jervis, Sacha Baron Quinn, and Julia Davis 310 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,760 And "Cogan" or "Pryor", I don't know, Gandhi or someone like that 311 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,760 To appear morally upright. 312 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,280 - Do you really want to get high? - Yes. 313 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,840 No, I mean, get really high. 314 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,680 Absolutely. 315 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,560 - What was their secret, by the way? -What do you mean? 316 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,720 What have they done to reach their current position? 317 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:36,920 Listen to me. 318 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:40,920 I'm serious. 319 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,240 They do everything I ask of them. 320 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,720 Wow, this is great. 321 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,320 Here. Come and sit next to me. 322 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:58,840 What is all this? 323 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,080 This is ecstasy powder. 324 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,400 This is the drug "GHB". It is a nerve relaxant. 325 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,400 - It relaxes your nerves. - Yes. 326 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,760 Trust me. Haven't tried anything like this. 327 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,520 I haven't tried anything like you, that's for sure. 328 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,640 Fuck. It tastes disgusting. 329 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,520 Everything has a price. 330 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,560 The first time I got high It was different from everything I had experienced. 331 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,360 It seemed as if a heavenly ray shone from space, 332 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,760 Penetrating through Darren's roof and lighting up his living room 333 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,720 Exactly where I was sitting, 334 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,920 While the waves of the Indian Ocean are warm My body trembles. 335 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,640 And on that couch, Darren talked about my talents 336 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,080 Comparably All my comedy heroes growing up. 337 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,120 A promising future awaits you. 338 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,160 A very promising future. 339 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,760 And with every sentence he said and every drug I took, 340 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,200 I started to believe it and feel its reality 341 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,240 I even tasted it. 342 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,480 That my dreams are measurable. 343 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,600 And that I can achieve it and make it unravel before me. 344 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,720 No time to wait. 345 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,520 You don't mind, right? 346 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:21,520 No. 347 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:24,760 Fuck. 348 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:33,520 What? 349 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:39,520 What's wrong? 350 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:48,680 I will throw up. 351 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,480 No, not in the cat bowl. 352 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:01,840 Are you okay? 353 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:06,360 Let me pat you on the back. 354 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,000 Thanks. I'm so sorry. 355 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,200 Oh God. I'm so sorry. 356 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,160 Stop! 357 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,320 Will almond milk work? 358 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,000 Here you go. This will make you okay. 359 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:31,920 So sorry about this. 360 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,080 It's okay. We'll be careful next time. 361 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,080 I'd like to pretend that's this As far as it has come. 362 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,760 “Incoming call (Darren)" 363 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,960 Hello. How are you? 364 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,840 Yes, I'm fine. 365 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,280 Listen, I'm about to start class, so if... 366 00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:17,120 What? 367 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,680 What? The channel has a scenario of "Hangman Harry"? 368 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,200 Wow. Did they like him? This... 369 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,200 Yes, this is amazing. I... 370 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,680 You want me to... 371 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:34,120 Yes, that makes sense. 372 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,840 Yes, definitely. I will come. 373 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,240 - This is huge. - Yes. This is great. Thanks. 374 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,640 To be supported by a huge channel This early in your career. 375 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,920 Darren showed me. According to what the channel officials said, 376 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,320 She smiled broadly 377 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,840 While he was speaking About series commissions and option periods 378 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,280 And all these wonderful things that I didn't understand, 379 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,800 So much so that when he took the drugs out, I agreed without hesitation. 380 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,000 I thought I messed it up. 381 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:06,480 What? 382 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:07,400 This. 383 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:09,160 When I vomited. 384 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:13,200 Don't be silly. 385 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,400 It's going to take more than vomiting To dispense with your talents. 386 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:23,640 Thanks. 387 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:26,680 Thank you very much. 388 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,840 If there's anything I can do... 389 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,120 Just keep dreaming. 390 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:41,880 This is easy. 391 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,280 After I moved to London with Kelly, 392 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,560 I started doing drugs at Darren's house. Almost every weekend. 393 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,720 Take. We'll start with the usual ecstasy pills. 394 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,280 I had fully believed in His promises, 395 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,920 And that success was just around the corner. 396 00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:01,680 And I will have my own program By the age of 30. 397 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,840 And I'll be a millionaire at the same time. 398 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:05,200 All the things he said to me 399 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,640 Before he fed me he used a chemical anesthetic. 400 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,440 And I went from being someone who barely smoked some weed 401 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,560 To someone who uses cocaine all week. 402 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,600 Ecstasy chaser. Don't be afraid. 403 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:15,520 And methamphetamine. 404 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,600 You will embrace your creativity. 405 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:19,920 And heroin. 406 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,400 You will achieve great success. 407 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,400 And when you use enough to reach that level 408 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,400 Where all thoughts stop and ecstasy begins, 409 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,680 The talk is about the future, fame and happiness 410 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:34,040 It looks as real as the chemicals That runs through your body. 411 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,760 It was just a matter of time now for sure. 412 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,920 I lost consciousness several times while I was with him. 413 00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:51,960 I would often wake up To find him lying next to me, 414 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:55,840 His hands and mouth roam in different places While he was searching my body. 415 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,880 I stumbled to the bathroom 416 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,280 To find his hardened spit coagulated around my pubic area. 417 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,240 Then every Monday, He was back to his cold, cruel nature... 418 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:16,040 ...giving me harsh comments about the text And it makes me rewrite 419 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,760 While the effect of the drug wears off for free 420 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,320 While I cough from the last sore in my throat. 421 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,280 And yet I would come back. 422 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,920 - Won't you spend my birthday with me? - No, I'm going to Darren's house. 423 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,840 What is this, Donnie? Isn't this a little strange for you? 424 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,520 I don't want to go out with your friends. I can't afford it. 425 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,520 So instead, you go To an old author's house to do drugs. 426 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,600 I know it doesn't make sense to you, But it helps me in my career. 427 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,560 What did he do? She works in a bar Since I came to London. 428 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:45,240 -And you do everything for him for free. -I don't have time for this conversation. 429 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,560 that night, Darren introduced me to LSD. 430 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:56,000 I'll take one-half, and you'll take one-and-a-half. 431 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,800 I will be your guide to make you feel safe. 432 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,360 Let the music take you where you want to go. 433 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,520 Sometimes I remember this picture, 434 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,640 I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm sitting pretty high 435 00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:59,240 I see a 55 year old man 436 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,640 He dances this strange Amazonian dance in front of me, 437 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,040 When someone asks me, 438 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:05,440 “How did you get into comedy?” 439 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,320 Keep telling me what you see. 440 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:19,800 Sparkling colours. Frame something. 441 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,560 Am I a phoenix now then? 442 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,200 Is this what you see? 443 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,600 It's important that you see me as something strong. 444 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,360 Phoenix. Knight. 445 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,200 Maybe one of those wrestlers you like. 446 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,200 Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, 447 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,080 This clear, powerful thought invaded my head. 448 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,480 “He's trying to control my mind.” - What's wrong? 449 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:56,120 “This guy is bad. This situation is bad. Get out now.” 450 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:57,520 Fuck! 451 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,800 - Damn! - What's up? What's wrong? 452 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:02,640 I don't see anything. I see nothing but white. 453 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,680 It's okay. This is a new birth. 454 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,800 - I don't see anything. -You are safe with me. 455 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,400 My subconscious mind that I had been repressing all this time 456 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:16,480 He appeared again to highlight a suspicious situation. 457 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:29,960 What's happening? 458 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,360 - This is bad. I'm told this is bad. - It's panic. 459 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,120 - He confronted him. - Stop the music. 460 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:37,240 I stopped her. 461 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,560 Wow! 462 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:43,840 Wow! 463 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,320 Oh... 464 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,440 Oh my God! Damn music! 465 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:51,400 Wow! 466 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:52,920 Eat this. 467 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,200 - No. - It will help you relieve stress. 468 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:56,960 I've had it before. It relaxes your nerves. 469 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:05,960 No, try to keep it in your mouth. 470 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,280 Swallow it. 471 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,160 That's good. 472 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,360 This was powerful! 473 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:16,840 Okay. 474 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:17,840 Here. 475 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,080 Breathe into my hand. Breathe. 476 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:36,440 It's okay. 477 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:39,360 It's okay. This is part of its influence. 478 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,200 It's all part of his influence. 479 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,320 Calm down. 480 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:56,880 Calm down. 481 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:09,200 It's okay. 482 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:12,600 No. 483 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:52,240 No. 484 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:19,120 How did you find it? 485 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,000 You should take a shower. Washing with warm water will help you. 486 00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:58,680 Fuck! 487 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,080 Can I come in? 488 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,360 Come here. 489 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,080 I would like to say that I left, 490 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,240 I left angry and never came back. But I stayed for days afterward. 491 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,840 In fact, by Monday, I had an eye infection 492 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,480 She lay on the floor of his house While he bathes me in salt water. 493 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,720 And on Tuesday, I fed his cat while he was receiving calls. 494 00:34:57,240 --> 00:34:59,200 On Wednesday, I finally returned home. 495 00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:23,080 What's wrong? 496 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,560 Nothing. I just feel bad Because of the way we parted. 497 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,960 What bothered me most was the lack of knowledge. 498 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,440 What happened in all those moments? Where you lost consciousness? 499 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:36,440 Are you okay? 500 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,240 Yes, I'm fine. 501 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:45,560 Did he ever really believe in me, Or was this all a pre-arranged manipulation? 502 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,600 Was he conscious the whole time? 503 00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:53,200 What did he gain from it? Was it just a desire to spoil? 504 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,600 And achieve what his sick mind wanted? 505 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,040 Was that what turned him on, him ruining my life? 506 00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:01,960 Want to watch something instead? I don't feel like it. 507 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:03,160 No, shut up. 508 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:10,640 Sorry, but I don't have the desire today. 509 00:36:13,720 --> 00:36:17,360 -And you didn't have a desire yesterday either. - Maybe I should take a break from the whole thing. 510 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:20,120 What? Relief from sex or from me? 511 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:25,400 Wow. 512 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,160 Okay. 513 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,800 After Kelly moved out, I collapsed psychologically. 514 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:48,120 Now that I have nothing to do Just remembering what happened. 515 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,520 I began to feel an overwhelming sexual confusion 516 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:54,880 It penetrates my body. 517 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:01,200 I thought it would go away, but it has become a fear of mine. 518 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,680 It turned into a raging madness inside me. 519 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:08,200 I could never find out Whether these feelings are because of him 520 00:37:08,720 --> 00:37:11,000 Or has it always been inside me? 521 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,960 Did it happen because I was giving off an impression? I wasn't familiar with it? 522 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:17,760 Or is it what happened that made me like this? 523 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,080 I felt like everyone was looking at me 524 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:22,920 He can see what I'm going through. 525 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:24,840 As if they were staring into my soul, 526 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,280 They see rape, doubt and confusion. 527 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:28,680 As if my eyes were a window 528 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,160 On my life's tightest secret. 529 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,240 I dreamed of killing him, 530 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:37,200 By cutting off his penis or tongue, Whichever of them causes the most damage, 531 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,800 His body was completely burned. 532 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,480 So, months later Of hatred, anger, and confusion, 533 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,080 I no longer have a choice. 534 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,120 "extremist" 535 00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:57,840 Fuck. 536 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:02,360 I reached orgasm quickly, 537 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,240 In such a way that it is no longer denied that my desire is transforming. 538 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:12,160 And every day, the laptop called me. I felt confused and angry. 539 00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,000 And I felt like I was going through puberty again. 540 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:20,160 Well, yeah. 541 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,800 I started having sex recklessly With people of all sexual orientations 542 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,840 In a desperate quest to reach the truth. 543 00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:31,880 I was putting myself in bad situations I risk being raped again 544 00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,320 Trying to understand it first time. 545 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,240 If I were passed off as a whore, 546 00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:39,400 I might at least give up About the idea that my body is somehow part of me. 547 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,560 Who cares if it's happened before? 548 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:47,280 It's happened many times now, so what does it matter? 549 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:54,760 But it was important. 550 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,280 It was important because that's what he wanted. 551 00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:00,960 This is what he saw in me from the beginning. 552 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,760 Then a feeling of extreme bitterness came over me So much so that I could almost feel its taste in my throat. 553 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,400 He was acquitted in some way. 554 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,160 And now I was stuck, 555 00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,240 Surrounded by drunken misogynists Heterosexuals 556 00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:21,600 Whose approval I only longed for. 557 00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:30,600 It was very windy weather. 558 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,160 I have visited Mallorca many times. She is beautiful. 559 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,800 You can book these all-inclusive packages where... 560 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:38,240 Everything is free, and I mean everything. 561 00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:40,600 Romantic dates and many relationships. 562 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:43,280 It all started from the bottom of what happened to me. 563 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,200 ...but I think I'll stick to it... 564 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,680 I wasn't interested in love, I couldn't stand it anymore. 565 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,280 I just wanted these people to provide answers. 566 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,800 You know, in Mallorca, when they come and ask you If you want to do water exercises? 567 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,040 You don't have to ask me a million times... 568 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,840 Excuse me, sorry. I'm going to the bathroom quickly. 569 00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:01,600 I'll be right back, okay? 570 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,640 And with my rejection and banishment of all of them. 571 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:12,120 You can rotate completely And make the tires squeal and go quickly. 572 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,080 Lots of people They are back to filming now. 573 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,520 But I think I'll stick with it Using digital cameras. 574 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:26,920 Until I met... 575 00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:34,600 Hello. 576 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,720 You're nicer in person than your online photo. 577 00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,760 Honestly, some of the appointments I went on 578 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,840 Guys were coming in who were 15 years older From their profile picture. 579 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,080 She was everything I wanted. 580 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:48,400 And everything I needed. 581 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,320 Smart, funny, confident and strong. 582 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,760 Come with me to my house tonight. 583 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,920 But with every hand hold or prolonged look 584 00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:58,360 I had an overwhelming feeling of anger and shame 585 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,640 that I am in love with her, 586 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,880 And I can no longer hide behind my anonymity. 587 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:05,200 But don't tell Tony. 588 00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:12,120 Perhaps the most bitter feeling ever 589 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:16,640 That I probably wouldn't feel this way If he hadn't done what he did to me. 590 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:21,360 But when Martha came, 591 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:24,640 All this confusion is gone... 592 00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:30,000 As easy as it seems to arrive 593 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:34,240 To my darkest fears and shine a light on them. 594 00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:36,560 They should prevent those who are as handsome as you. 595 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,280 They should charge you tax for this. Men's tax. 596 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,280 Martha saw me the way I wanted to. 597 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,200 So when it came to to the stage of resorting to the police, 598 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:51,840 I couldn't bear the irony of reporting it And do not report it. 599 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:54,200 Can I help you? 600 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:58,280 There was always a feeling that she was sick, And she can't stop herself, 601 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:02,360 While he was a malicious, manipulative flirt. 602 00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,000 Acknowledging her harm meant acknowledging his harm. 603 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,880 I had not yet confessed what he had done to anyone. 604 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,960 -So when the policeman asked me... Why were you so late in reporting? 605 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:20,760 I don't know. 606 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,440 Go home and check her emails 607 00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,200 Come back when you find something of interest. 608 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,560 Until then, until we see actual evidence, 609 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,120 We can't do anything. 610 00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:37,840 With that said, I'm back to square one. 611 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,120 “If you or someone you know has been exposed To sexual violence 612 00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:44,640 Visit the location shown on the screen 613 00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,920 To find more information and crisis resources 614 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:54,800 Based on the play Baby Rinder. Written by Richard Gadd 615 00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:45,320 Translation of "Ola Ezzedine"