1
00:00:27,486 --> 00:00:29,739
The Lone Ranger!

2
00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:38,080
<i>The makers of Fleischmann's
High Vitamin Yeast present</i>

3
00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:40,499
I Love A Mystery.

4
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,626
<i>Hop Harrigan,</i>

5
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:46,338
<i>America's Ace
of the Airwaves!</i>

6
00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:50,259
<i>A big howdy-do and how-are-you
from Chicago, Illinois,</i>

7
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:54,513
<i>where we're about to bring you
the Cinderella story of 1939.</i>

8
00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:58,225
<i>That's right. Local radio
station WBN may be small,</i>

9
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,102
<i>but they've got
a lot of big dreams.</i>

10
00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:02,897
<i>And tonight,
those dreams could come true</i>

11
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,983
<i>as they go nationwide
in their revolutionary attempt</i>

12
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:09,236
<i>to create a fourth
national radio network.</i>

13
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:10,696
Oh, Miss Henderson,

14
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:13,157
the <i>Biff Blaster,
Space Ranger</i> script
is a minute and a half over,

15
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,950
and Mr. Whalen doesn't know
what he should do.

16
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,619
Well, lose all
the exploding asteroids,

17
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:18,537
give the Venusians
one-syllable grunts.

18
00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:19,955
Have you seen the General?
No.

19
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:22,249
I just want you to know
that I'm not just a page.

20
00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:23,501
You know,
I'm a man of many talents,

21
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,419
and if you ever give me
a chance to prove myself,

22
00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,463
you won't be sorry,
Miss Henderson.
Mrs. Henderson.

23
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,590
Her name is Mrs.
Right, Mr. Henderson.

24
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:33,219
Not now, Roger.
I don't have time to be
talked out of divorcing you.

25
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:36,013
"Hiya, Roger,
that's a swell suit.
Oh, the dog says hello,

26
00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:37,932
"and, say, what's that
last thing? Oh, yes,

27
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,101
"my life has no meaning
without you."

28
00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:42,144
Suit up, fellas.
Yes, ma'am.

29
00:01:42,228 --> 00:01:44,063
Penny, this is me. Remember?

30
00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:47,691
The joint checking account,
the little hairs on the sink,
you know.

31
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,693
How can you throw away
everything we have?

32
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,445
Had, Roger. Past tense.

33
00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:53,030
Speaking of tense,
I'm busy.

34
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:54,824
I'm trying to stay
on top of things around here.

35
00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:57,076
I always liked you
on top...

36
00:01:57,535 --> 00:01:59,453
Of things.
He didn't let me finish.

37
00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:00,788
Walt!
Walt!

38
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:02,915
<i>Yes.</i>

39
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,625
I can't do this scene
in the Second Act.

40
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,085
It's terrible!
It's unmotivated...

41
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,670
<i>Calm down, boys.</i>

42
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,463
<i>Clive,
you're absolutely right.</i>

43
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:12,091
<i>Now, the problem
as I see it is this...</i>

44
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:15,719
Kill him in the first act.
We'll have one more go at it.

45
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:16,971
Has anyone seen the General?

46
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,264
On stage.
On stage.

47
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,933
Let's go, men.
No time for slackers.

48
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:24,311
Thirty minutes to combat.
Chest out, shoulders back.

49
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,063
Little more spit
on that shine.

50
00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:29,608
Excuse me, General,
sir, you're needed
back in your office.

51
00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:31,193
Can't lead the troops
from the rear.

52
00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:33,445
It's about the script,
it's Mr. King.

53
00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:34,697
Carry on, men.

54
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,741
Our sponsor wants to
give us a well-deserved pat
on the back.

55
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:44,123
The most revolting,
moronic and insipid trash

56
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,791
I've ever read in my life.

57
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,878
And, General,
I expect you to do
something about it.

58
00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:50,588
Calm down, Bernie.

59
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:54,508
We're open to suggestions.
Damn right you are.
And here are mine.

60
00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:59,597
Billy! Billy, my baby!
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

61
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,974
Hi, Son.
Best row in the house.

62
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,561
Looks like we're finally
going on the air.

63
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:08,647
Let's check the tower voltage
and turn on the generators.

64
00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:11,317
Those scripts stink!
They're not funny.

65
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,153
Here, look at this one.

66
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,530
A philosophy professor
who murders people

67
00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:18,407
by convincing them
they don't exist?

68
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,992
It's satire, Mr. King.

69
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:22,286
It's crapola, Mrs. Henderson!

70
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,705
I am General Whalen's
biggest sponsor, young lady.

71
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,457
And if I pull out,
the others will follow.

72
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,793
You heard him, Henderson.
Double-time.
Yes, sir.

73
00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:36,550
It's so silly, isn't it?
The little disagreements
couples have?

74
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,260
Little disagreements?

75
00:03:38,344 --> 00:03:41,430
You had an affair, Roger,
with the station
manager's wife.

76
00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:43,349
I told you 100 times
nothing happened.

77
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:46,143
Right, with an actress billed
as the Va-Va-Va-Voom Girl.

78
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,062
It's not my fault
she's done the classics.

79
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,522
Everything was fine,
everything was jake,

80
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,900
and you had to
throw it all away for
one night of pleasure.

81
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:55,194
Well, believe me, sister,
there was no pleasure.

82
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,321
Spare me your shortcomings.

83
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,662
Penny, Penny, did you hear
what King just did?

84
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:05,871
He threw out
half the scripts.

85
00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:07,164
He threw out
half the scripts.

86
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,499
Someone ought to
stand up to him.

87
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,000
Someone ought to
stand up to him.

88
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,962
Five primetime scripts,
he just gives them
the heave-ho.

89
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,422
For the love of Mike,
will you say something?

90
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,132
Fix your rug.
Oh, my God.

91
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:19,051
Mr. General
Whalen Junior, sir.
Yes.

92
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,636
You're the director.
Yes.

93
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:24,473
This is no time to panic.
Can you think
of a better time?

94
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:26,016
Five scripts!
Five scripts!

95
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:29,270
Don't!
Tell that S-O-B King
to do his own rewrite!

96
00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:35,234
Gentlemen, lady,
please, a little decorum.

97
00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:37,695
What's going on in here?

98
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,406
You people should be
ashamed of yourselves.

99
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:42,992
Penny's just doing her job.
Now, let's give her
a little support.

100
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:44,827
Let's put our shoulders
to the wheel, and,

101
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,912
you know, do whatever it is
Penny wants us to do.

102
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,000
That's not funny.
Listen, kids,
I know this stinks.

103
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:53,669
I know you've been
working on those scripts
for six months,

104
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:56,255
and I know we go on the air
in 15 minutes.

105
00:04:56,338 --> 00:05:00,509
But somehow, you gotta
take these cockeyed notes
and make them magic.

106
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:03,971
You'll get paid overtime.

107
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,265
She's right.
That's the word.

108
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,933
Am I a complete
raving lunatic,

109
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:10,394
or have we not been
paid anything
in the last three weeks?

110
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,021
Can't both be true?

111
00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:15,107
The knife in the back.

112
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:19,153
The sound of
the human head smashing.

113
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:24,450
No. Something is
not quite right.

114
00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:26,493
Try honeydew.
Good idea.

115
00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:28,704
Because I'm your wife,
that's why!

116
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:33,042
And next time
you send me flowers,
spell my name right!

117
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:37,671
Oh, hey...
Thank you very much,
I was...

118
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,258
Oh, Mr. Katzenback,
Ruffles said he'd like to
speak to you right away.

119
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:42,593
Said you'd know
what it was about.

120
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,719
Ruffles?
Ruffles?

121
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:46,638
Ruffles. Trumpet player.
Oh, please,
that horn-blowing...

122
00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,432
Now, you listen
to me, Junior.

123
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,601
Don't you think
that I don't know
what's going on,

124
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:54,021
because I do know,
and now you know
that I know.

125
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,981
Listen, I don't know
what you know that I know,

126
00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:58,692
but I do know
that you don't know
what you think you know.

127
00:05:58,776 --> 00:05:59,818
Oh, no?

128
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,028
No.

129
00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:03,322
Come on, Penny,
back to the booth.

130
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,990
Clearly, this man is an idiot.

131
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,283
Sir?
Yeah?

132
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,701
Wrong way.
Oh.

133
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:09,328
Please.

134
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,872
Okay, so he leans over
and he kisses the moose,
and then...

135
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:14,333
And he says what?
"Honey, I kissed a moose!"

136
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:17,211
Forget the moose!
I could care less
about the moose!

137
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,004
I got something else
that he could kiss.

138
00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:20,881
All this work
without a day's pay!

139
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,841
I think my head's
gonna explode!

140
00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:29,598
No. Still not the sound
of the head smashing.

141
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,142
That's it.

142
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,106
To all the local stations
who have affiliated with us,

143
00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:41,276
be assured that I have
assembled a top-notch
squadron of professionals,

144
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:44,154
redefining the phrase
"grace under fire."

145
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:45,489
Help!

146
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,741
Miss Henderson?
Have you seen her?
No.

147
00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:49,576
Miss Henderson?

148
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,161
Anyone seen Miss...

149
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,252
Billy.

150
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,212
Oh, Mr. Whalen Junior, sir.
Yes.

151
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:03,090
They don't know
whether they're opening on
the announcer or the music.

152
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:06,009
Oh, that's right.
I forgot to make up
my mind about that one.

153
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,219
Okay.

154
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:14,518
Forty seconds to air,
and where the hell
is our director?

155
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:18,605
Okay, I got it.
Decision made.
Problem solved.

156
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:22,818
Thirty seconds, Max.
That's good.
That's good news.

157
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,404
Here we go.

158
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:32,995
And now, gentlemen,
I give you
America's newest network,

159
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,497
WBN.

160
00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:39,626
Junior,
what are we opening with,
music or announcer?

161
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:42,087
- Okay, cue the...
- 5, 4, 3...

162
00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,755
Cue the announcer!
Cue the announcer.

163
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,299
Cue Dexter.

164
00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:50,429
<i>Clear the airwaves.
Clear the airwaves.</i>

165
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,723
<i>And from the four corners
of this great country,</i>

166
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,893
<i>the Whalen Broadcasting
Network says,</i>

167
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:59,354
<i>"Hello, America!"</i>

168
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:02,191
<i>Please welcome
the Rick Rochester Band
with The Dead Tones</i>

169
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,193
<i>and the lovely
Miller Sisters.</i>

170
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:06,528
<i>But first, gather up
the kids and caboodle</i>

171
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:08,614
<i>and stay with us
till the stroke of 12:00,</i>

172
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:11,867
<i>for an evening of everything
but the kitchen sink.</i>

173
00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:16,622
Oh, well, it sounds
like we have that, too.

174
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:21,293
<i>Believe you me, folks,
we've got a night
full of surprises.</i>

175
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:25,422
<i>"Dig and dig to find some dirt</i>

176
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:29,801
<i>"Dig too deep
and you'll get hurt"</i>

177
00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,721
Something cut in?
Well, that's not right.

178
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,097
What went wrong, Max?

179
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,432
Must have been
an open mike.

180
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,059
No, no, no.
I only have one pot open.

181
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,228
Cue the band.
Cue the band.

182
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:41,123
I hate opening nights.
Aunt Millie's.

183
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,333
Stand by, Aunt Millie's.
Watch that overload.

184
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,294
Zoltan, you got a pen?

185
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,723
Thanks, pal.

186
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,560
Max, promise me nothing else
is gonna go wrong tonight.

187
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,020
Promise.

188
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,330
We've got a show, people.

189
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,336
Out!
No writers backstage.

190
00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:04,706
What a ham.

191
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,635
Get him off.

192
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,345
Close the curtain.
Close the curtain.

193
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,847
Cue the commercial.
Cue the commercial.

194
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:25,268
He's dead.

195
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:31,858
Stand by, Black Whip.

196
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:33,819
Will you stop fussing?

197
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:36,988
Hate to be
a stickler for detail,
but we don't have a script.

198
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,741
We don't have...
We don't have a script?
Where is Roger?

199
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,493
Billy, would you get
to the writers' room?

200
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:43,036
Tell Roger we need
that script right away.

201
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,663
Right. You can count on me,
Miss Henderson.

202
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:47,582
Through rain, snow, sleet...
Billy, beat it!

203
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,419
Keep going.

204
00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,924
So the Black Whip
hits him on the head
with his log.

205
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,176
Dad, he doesn't have a log,
he has a whip.

206
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,887
If he had a log,
he would be known
as the Black Log.

207
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,890
What do you expect me to do,
improvise?

208
00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:06,393
Don't worry,
I'll take care of it.

209
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,478
Let's get back to
what we're not
getting paid for.

210
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,188
This ending is
strictly phonus-balonus.

211
00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:12,023
Can't we find
a fresh way out of this?

212
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:13,984
Let's think...
He could hug him.

213
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,444
Hug him?
Hug him?

214
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:18,989
Yeah. Tell him
they're long lost brothers
and make him his partner.

215
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,742
Morgana, you did it again.

216
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:24,369
You know,
she did it again!
Let's go, let's go!

217
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:25,871
We lost him.

218
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,289
Not again.
Not again.

219
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,666
This is just horrible!
Not really.

220
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,586
Catch your head
in a threshing machine,
now that's horrible.

221
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,796
How convenient.
Oh, shut up.

222
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:38,049
Out of the way!
Out of the way!
Watch it, Billy.

223
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:42,137
This new ending's
gonna knock them dead.
Hey, you guys,

224
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:43,847
where's the...

225
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,348
Script?

226
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:49,436
Move! Move!
Come on, go!

227
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:52,481
We've got to talk, Junior.
Not now.

228
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:56,693
Gangway! Coming through!
Coming through!

229
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:58,612
Hot script coming through!

230
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,572
Hang on to your toupee,
Junior.

231
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,201
Hi, Roger.

232
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,536
No, no, no. I'm okay.

233
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:10,373
I want my script!
I will not go on
without my script!

234
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,961
Sorry, Mac.
This way out, guys.

235
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:17,047
It's amazing
people don't get killed
around here.

236
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:21,676
Moley hokes! Ruffles is dead.
I can't believe it.

237
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:23,470
Hey.

238
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,224
Hey, you need
a fill-in on trumpet?

239
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,810
Just keep her on,
keep her on.
Get her back on.

240
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,979
It's incredible.
The woman's been doing
the same damn thing

241
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:35,774
over and over and over again
for five minutes.

242
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:39,236
Get this stiff
out of here.

243
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:43,114
The girl has about
30 seconds before she drops.

244
00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:45,158
Five bucks says
you're wrong.
You got it.

245
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:47,410
Fellas, wait!
Hey!

246
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:53,166
Mr. H, where'd you go?
Come on, Penny needs
that script now!

247
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,168
Roger!

248
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,255
Oh, God.

249
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:01,842
Well,
she brought down the house.

250
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,510
Let's go straight
to another commercial.

251
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,178
Cue the King commercial.
Cue Dexter.

252
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:08,223
<i>Well, we all know
the Black Whip's unbeatable,</i>

253
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:11,393
<i>as unbeatable as
a bottle of King brew beer.</i>

254
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,727
Is the Black Whip
standing by?

255
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:14,354
I don't care if their
sponsors are here!

256
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:18,608
I asked for a big gun
and they give me this
silly little teeny one!

257
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,527
Phil sounds nice and relaxed.

258
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,028
Roger, where the hell
have you been?

259
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:24,489
The, the...
What? Spit it out!

260
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:26,575
The lights were against me.
Go!

261
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:31,329
<i>And like the Black Whip,
it's strong.</i>

262
00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:34,165
Oh! The typist.

263
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:36,126
Nice of you to join us!

264
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:38,920
Phil.
Thirty seconds, Phil.

265
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,256
That filthy mess
is my script?

266
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,053
<i>Some pals are dropping by
after a day at the ballpark.</i>

267
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:51,474
<i>Which beer will replenish
their zest and bring that
sparkle back to their eye?</i>

268
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,393
Look, Phil,
come on, cut it out!

269
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:55,729
Fifteen seconds.
Fifteen seconds!

270
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:58,899
Cue the organ.

271
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,111
The Black Whip.

272
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,613
Cue curtain.

273
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,409
<i>They call me the Black Whip.</i>

274
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,412
The other way. The other way.

275
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,831
Are you all right?
Oh, peachy, now.

276
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,208
I could use
a hand up, though.

277
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:20,962
<i>Well, looks like we lost
the evil Freeman gang, Happy.</i>

278
00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:23,632
Let's ride the DBs
on this whip crack.

279
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:25,592
<i>I don't like it, Happy.</i>

280
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,302
<i>It's too darn
quiet out there.</i>

281
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:29,804
Listen, nothing but crickets.

282
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:32,182
<i>Look out for that
rattlesnake, Black Whip!</i>

283
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,642
<i>Hand me my whip, Happy.</i>

284
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,060
<i>You got him, Black Whip.</i>

285
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,562
<i>Oh, no, the Crazy Gulch Gang!</i>

286
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:40,106
Here they come.
They're shooting at us!

287
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,777
<i>Lookit. Oh, no!</i>

288
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,237
Knock it off, Roger.

289
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:49,157
Have you finished
the <i>Gork: Son of Fire</i>
script yet?

290
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,617
It's percolating.

291
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,327
Well, bring it to a boil.

292
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:55,288
Oh, come on, Penny.
Okay, okay. Now,
here's how I figure it.

293
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,874
We met working on the radio,
we got married
working on the radio.

294
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,961
We can't get divorced.
You might end up
marrying out of the medium.

295
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:03,171
Great idea.
Someone with less imagination.

296
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:04,756
Less imagination?
Have you seen Walt Junior?

297
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,383
No, ma'am.
Where the hell is he?

298
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:09,219
Well, excuse me, operator,
I think I have
a bad connection.

299
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,096
And, say, if it's Claudette
you're talking about,

300
00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,639
that was your imagination!

301
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,265
My imagination!

302
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:16,393
I saw you locked together
in her dressing room

303
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,145
like Siamese twins
attached at the zipper.
But she attacked me.

304
00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:21,856
What? Assault with
a friendly weapon?
You were lying on top of her.

305
00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:23,858
Oh, now, come on, Penny.
She took me down
with a headlock.

306
00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:25,026
I never knew what hit me.

307
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:27,320
Your shirt was off!
It ripped on
the hat rack when I fell!

308
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,489
Well, she wasn't
wearing a stitch!

309
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,241
Breakaway evening gown?

310
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:35,161
Okay, okay, so the woman
holds the land speed
record for stripping.

311
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,287
What is it, sweetheart?

312
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:37,372
Well, I...

313
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,915
Mr. Ruffles...

314
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:43,128
I mean,
I know nobody liked him,
and he drank and all,

315
00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:45,755
but I'm just thinking about
his wife and his four kids,

316
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:48,049
and it's just so awful.

317
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,845
Ruffles is dead?

318
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,349
<i>This is no time to give up.</i>

319
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:59,436
<i>We're all wearing
our Thermic Molecular
Transometer suits.</i>

320
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,562
<i>They should protect us</i>

321
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,732
<i>in our quest to thwart
the Neptunian lava monster.</i>

322
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,151
<i>Biff, it's getting closer!</i>

323
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:09,487
<i>Jumpin' jiminy
gee whiz, Biff!</i>

324
00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:10,780
<i>Quiet, Jimmy.</i>

325
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,532
<i>There's no time for that now.</i>

326
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:15,035
<i>Betty, let me
check your tubes.</i>

327
00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,995
<i>Check anything
you want, Biff.</i>

328
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:20,415
<i>After all,
the future of the universe
depends on you.</i>

329
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,001
Okay, okay,
so you don't believe me.

330
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:25,462
But if you just
give me a chance,
I'll prove it, Penny.

331
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,756
Prove to me you can rewrite
<i>Home is Where the Heart Aches.</i>

332
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:30,050
For Pete's sake, come on.
I need that script
in 12 minutes, Roger.

333
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,676
You'll get your rewrite
and proof positive

334
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,928
there's no funny business
between Claudette and me.

335
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,889
Wabash 3-1800, please.

336
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:38,058
Did you happen to
find us a director?

337
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:40,351
Mrs. Reedy?
Oh, standby, <i>Polka Minute.</i>

338
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:50,904
No, no, Claudette.
What about Ruffles?
You big octopus.

339
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:52,530
Claudette.

340
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,955
Caught me
at a bad time, kid. I'm in.

341
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,248
So am I.

342
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,126
Nobody enters
my dressing room uninvited.

343
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,545
What the hell do you think
that star means?

344
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:08,838
You're Jewish?

345
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:18,139
I don't have time to
mince words, Claudette.
I want my marriage back.

346
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:19,933
And you're gonna get it
for me, tonight,

347
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,726
when you tell Penny
what really happened.

348
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:24,270
Scram, scribbler,
you're boring me.

349
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,065
Here. Is that
what you want? Huh?

350
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,233
You want me to beg?

351
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,861
I'm so deep in the doghouse,
I'll beg, I'll fetch,
I'll roll over.

352
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:33,446
What more can I do,
Claudette?

353
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,156
I'm risking everything
just coming here.

354
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,408
If I'm caught with you again...

355
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,078
- I'm a dead man.
- Claudette?

356
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,080
Oh, God, it's my husband.

357
00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:47,961
Herman, I told you,
I don't like to be
disturbed before a show

358
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,546
or after a show

359
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,841
or at home
in my bedroom when
I'm thinking about a show!

360
00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:55,260
I spoke to Ruffles
before he died.

361
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,803
What do you mean?

362
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:58,513
Who is that?

363
00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:02,100
No, not under there.
Geez, I could have sworn
I left that script...

364
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,435
Oh, hiya, Herman.
I didn't hear you come in.

365
00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:07,605
You! What is this weasel
doing in here?

366
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:10,358
Maybe it blew over there.
What do you think?

367
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:13,862
Roger!
About that script change

368
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:16,030
you wanted me
to run past Penny,

369
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,575
would after the show
be soon enough?

370
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:26,124
After the show? Sure.

371
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,042
Sure. Great.

372
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,839
Well, guess I'll get back
to the old word factory.

373
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,010
Leave you two alone.

374
00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:39,971
All by yourselves.
Good night.

375
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:41,890
Later.

376
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,684
<i>Shocking, isn't it, my dear?</i>

377
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,020
<i>No, Wolfgang, don't!</i>

378
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,272
<i>Can't you see you're mad?</i>

379
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,691
<i>Mad? Mad, you say?</i>

380
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:56,321
<i>But I'm the one
with the branding iron,</i>

381
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:59,324
<i>and you're the one
with the soft, pink flesh.</i>

382
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:01,784
<i>Now talk!</i>

383
00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,830
<i>Okay, I'll tell you.
I'll tell you everything.</i>

384
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,624
<i>It's paprika.</i>

385
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,668
<i>Paprika is the secret
of my potato salad.</i>

386
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:13,671
Paprika?

387
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,089
Hey, quick rewrites.

388
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:16,966
Those writers are pros.
Once they warm up,

389
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,843
they'll start hitting them
out of the park.

390
00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:20,970
...Pontiac running board
wasn't as good as the Chevy.

391
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,473
Dad, do you wanna shut up
about the car?

392
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,600
Please, I need a script now!

393
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:28,394
Wait a minute,
wait a minute!
There's one!

394
00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:29,979
- That's one of the good ones.
- You almost lost it.

395
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:31,439
Take this one, kid.
Great.

396
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:34,859
That was easy.
Wait a minute.
This is <i>Tom Adventure.</i>

397
00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:36,611
They need <i>Home is
Where the Heart Aches.</i>

398
00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:38,696
<i>Home is Where the Heart Aches!</i>

399
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,950
Two minutes, no script.
And no director.

400
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:45,245
I could yell "fire"
over the intercom.
We could call it a night.

401
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,956
Hey, wait a minute,
this is good stuff.
Who put this in the garbage?

402
00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:49,707
I did. It stinks.
That's yesterday's script.

403
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:52,085
Okay, now
we're cooking with gas.
That's a great script.

404
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:53,544
Well, hello.

405
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,089
This is sensational!

406
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,091
That's the best.

407
00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,175
Okay...

408
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:03,972
- Terrible.
- No wonder it was in the garbage.

409
00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:07,642
Roger, this is terrible.
This is bad.
This is bad stuff.

410
00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:10,561
I found it, Jules.
It belonged to Ruffles.

411
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,522
Oh, if you're gonna be
a serious gin-hound,

412
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,482
I recommend that
you develop some taste.

413
00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:16,276
This is rat poison.

414
00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:18,736
Oh, what the hell.

415
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,488
For Pete's sake, Jules,
we got work to do.

416
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:21,698
I'll drink to that.

417
00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:41,342
You idiot.

418
00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:44,345
Don't stick your bald head
in my face again.

419
00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:48,641
We'll finish
our little discussion later.

420
00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:52,687
Are you all right?

421
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:54,188
Of course I'm all right.

422
00:21:54,272 --> 00:21:57,358
Ups-a-daisy.
You should be in the booth.
Why?

423
00:21:57,442 --> 00:21:59,444
You're the director.
I know that.

424
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:02,822
It's not like
I don't know what I do.
I do know what I do.

425
00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:06,492
It's just that
when you have as much
to do as I do do...

426
00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:10,204
Don't tell my dad
about this, okay?
He'll have my head.

427
00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:11,831
Then where would you
put your hair?

428
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:13,499
I'm sorry?

429
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:16,044
I said,
I'll see you down there.

430
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,141
Okay, Walt's on his way.

431
00:22:30,224 --> 00:22:31,684
Now all we need
is a script.

432
00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:33,269
What? No script?

433
00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:37,357
Girls, girls, please.
Back to the mikes.
It's gonna be just fine.

434
00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:39,609
We need some sort
of a final scene here

435
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,069
between the husband
and the wife.

436
00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:42,653
Yes. Now, think,
think, think.

437
00:22:42,737 --> 00:22:46,032
What if the wife
smashes him over the head

438
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:47,533
with a frying pan,

439
00:22:47,617 --> 00:22:50,036
then chops him in
hundreds of tiny little pieces

440
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,497
with her shiny,
new carving knife?

441
00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:54,540
I don't think so.

442
00:22:54,665 --> 00:22:55,917
It's a family show.

443
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,878
Okay, well, then,
what if she does it
to the whole family?

444
00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:00,922
No!
What's wrong with you?

445
00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:02,882
You never like
any of my ideas.

446
00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:06,677
Hold it. Husband says,
"Darling, you can't leave.

447
00:23:06,761 --> 00:23:09,055
"What would it take
to make you stay?"

448
00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:10,765
She says, "Try chloroform."

449
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:14,560
This isn't a comedy.
That wasn't a joke.

450
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:16,854
The hell it wasn't.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
How about he says,

451
00:23:18,189 --> 00:23:21,818
"I can't go on without you.
I can't clean, I can't iron,

452
00:23:22,276 --> 00:23:23,778
"I don't know my way
around the kitchen."

453
00:23:23,861 --> 00:23:26,739
And she says, "Buy a map.
Then we'll talk."

454
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:29,826
Morgana, two.
Writers, nothing.
She's good.

455
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,911
That works.
I know.

456
00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:33,621
Okay, here you go, kid.
Take it away.

457
00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:35,206
Go, go, go!
Run! Run!

458
00:23:35,289 --> 00:23:37,417
Go, go, go!
I'm going. I'm going!

459
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:39,544
Fifteen seconds.

460
00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:41,295
I have the scripts!

461
00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:43,673
Mr. Katzenback.

462
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:46,843
Have you people
no idea of discipline?

463
00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:53,391
<i>We have a script.</i>

464
00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:56,060
<i>And we have a director.
Of sorts.</i>

465
00:23:56,144 --> 00:23:59,147
Cue that slimeball announcer.
Cue Dexter.

466
00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:03,526
<i>And now time for</i>
Home is Where
the Heart Aches.

467
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:06,237
Rotate the stage.
Oh, I hate that stage.

468
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,031
This rotating stage
is the best idea
I've ever had.

469
00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:10,658
Cue the organ.

470
00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:16,914
<i>Tonight, we join Mildred
and her mother</i>

471
00:24:17,039 --> 00:24:19,333
<i>in their tastefully
decorated kitchen.</i>

472
00:24:23,171 --> 00:24:24,714
Not quite ready.
Billy.

473
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:27,467
Slow stop. No, slow!

474
00:24:28,843 --> 00:24:30,344
That's Billy.

475
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:35,516
<i>Abandoned by Jim,
my husband of 20 years,</i>

476
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:38,853
<i>and recently disturbed
by the news that Ellen,
my loving daughter,</i>

477
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:40,938
<i>is marrying Jim's
illegitimate stepson,</i>

478
00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:44,609
<i>I find myself mired
in a week-long depression.</i>

479
00:24:44,901 --> 00:24:47,195
<i>Tell me, Mom.
What should I do?</i>

480
00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:53,159
<i>Die, infidel.
Die like a dog,</i>

481
00:24:53,367 --> 00:24:55,495
<i>writhing in pain
from the horror</i>

482
00:24:55,578 --> 00:24:57,663
<i>known as the curse
of Nebuchadnezzar.</i>

483
00:24:57,747 --> 00:24:59,207
Well, that's not right.

484
00:25:00,541 --> 00:25:03,461
<i>Thanks, Mom.
You always seem to know
what's best.</i>

485
00:25:03,544 --> 00:25:05,588
That's good!
We didn't write that.

486
00:25:05,671 --> 00:25:07,423
It's too creative.
You got that right.

487
00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:14,680
Excuse me, I think
someone's at the door.

488
00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:16,641
Billy.

489
00:25:17,975 --> 00:25:19,060
Is there a problem?

490
00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:21,145
Damndest show I ever seen.

491
00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:22,855
Artistic.

492
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:25,983
Oh, that must be
your father.
You take it.

493
00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:27,485
What the hell is going on?

494
00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:29,862
One is doing the soap,
the other's doing
<i>Tom Adventure.</i>

495
00:25:29,946 --> 00:25:31,405
Toilet.
Sir?

496
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,075
Billy!
You bellowed?

497
00:25:34,492 --> 00:25:36,994
Get this to the actors,
and then get those
scripts sorted out.

498
00:25:37,078 --> 00:25:39,455
<i>Well, Mom, it's getting
close to lunchtime and...</i>

499
00:25:39,539 --> 00:25:42,208
<i>Traitorous words,
you American slime.</i>

500
00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:47,255
<i>And your last, as it's time
for me to finish you off
with your own rifle.</i>

501
00:25:48,464 --> 00:25:51,509
<i>Did you hear me?
Your own rifle.</i>

502
00:25:53,344 --> 00:25:54,845
<i>My own rifle?</i>

503
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:57,848
<i>Yes, yes. Where is that
rifle of yours?</i>

504
00:25:59,308 --> 00:26:01,269
<i>You're not going to
shoot me, are you?</i>

505
00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:03,813
<i>Well, perhaps I was hasty.</i>

506
00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:06,816
<i>After all, shooting you
would be wrong.</i>

507
00:26:08,109 --> 00:26:09,902
Whoa. That hurt,
that hurt.

508
00:26:13,573 --> 00:26:15,366
<i>Mildred, is that you?</i>

509
00:26:15,575 --> 00:26:16,826
What's he doing now?

510
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:18,494
<i>I'm sorry
I frightened you, dear.</i>

511
00:26:18,578 --> 00:26:22,123
<i>I was kidnapped
by a band of Egyptian nomads</i>

512
00:26:22,206 --> 00:26:25,960
<i>and hypnotized into
thinking I was a warrior
of the Sahara,</i>

513
00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:29,589
<i>but the gunshot
snapped me out of it,
and now I'm back.</i>

514
00:26:29,797 --> 00:26:31,591
<i>Do you have any coffee made?</i>

515
00:26:31,674 --> 00:26:34,760
<i>Why, yes, Mom.
There's a fresh pot
on the stove.</i>

516
00:26:34,969 --> 00:26:37,221
Sounds perfect,
even though there's...

517
00:26:37,305 --> 00:26:40,266
<i>"Hardly time to say a prayer</i>

518
00:26:40,433 --> 00:26:43,227
<i>"Before we move
on to the air"</i>

519
00:26:43,311 --> 00:26:44,395
What?

520
00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:46,689
I'm going down to
check master control.

521
00:26:46,772 --> 00:26:48,482
Cue the commercial.

522
00:26:49,859 --> 00:26:52,361
Billy!
See if anyone's in Studio B.

523
00:26:53,154 --> 00:26:55,656
Billy, bring me
a tomato, quick!

524
00:26:55,740 --> 00:26:57,783
Billy, find my tuba player.

525
00:26:57,908 --> 00:26:59,285
<i>Blue Sky.</i>

526
00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:01,871
<i>Fresh as a spring rain.</i>

527
00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:04,832
<i>Cool as a summer breeze.</i>

528
00:27:05,124 --> 00:27:07,918
<i>Blue Sky has got the smoke
that goes down</i>

529
00:27:08,210 --> 00:27:10,087
<i>smooth.</i>

530
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,216
I told Dexter not to smoke.

531
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,886
If you ask me,
they ought to put warnings
on those packages.

532
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:20,097
It's not Dexter.
It's coming from
somewhere else.

533
00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:23,225
It's coming from right here.
Someone's idea of a joke?

534
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:25,269
Studio 13.

535
00:27:25,895 --> 00:27:28,022
I'm gonna go see
what's going on.

536
00:27:28,105 --> 00:27:30,274
Penny, I'm only gonna
say this once...

537
00:27:30,358 --> 00:27:32,026
Hey, Mr. H,
you're looking chipper.

538
00:27:32,109 --> 00:27:33,694
Penny in the fishbowl?
I gotta talk to her.

539
00:27:33,778 --> 00:27:35,655
Yeah, but I wouldn't talk
to her before you finish...

540
00:27:35,738 --> 00:27:38,658
<i>Gork: Son of Fire.</i>
Don't get your pants
in a bunch.

541
00:27:38,741 --> 00:27:40,368
Penny, I'm only gonna
say this once...

542
00:27:40,451 --> 00:27:42,286
<i>Let's get that pack
of butts off stage</i>

543
00:27:42,370 --> 00:27:45,289
<i>and get
the microphones out, boys.</i>

544
00:27:47,458 --> 00:27:49,710
<i>Ready light cue,
as you will.</i>

545
00:27:51,045 --> 00:27:53,756
<i>There is an evil
that lurks behind you.</i>

546
00:27:54,799 --> 00:27:57,426
<i>Is it your shadow,
or is it the Mind Bender?</i>

547
00:27:57,510 --> 00:27:59,845
Are you sure
this is the right floor?

548
00:27:59,929 --> 00:28:02,306
There's nobody up here,
Mrs. Henderson.
It's all right, Dottie.

549
00:28:02,390 --> 00:28:06,894
<i>Fred Smith, an ordinary man
not unlike you or me,</i>

550
00:28:06,977 --> 00:28:10,189
<i>walks home on
a fog-shrouded night.</i>

551
00:28:13,442 --> 00:28:16,696
<i>This is the night
when he will reach
deep inside himself</i>

552
00:28:16,779 --> 00:28:19,740
<i>and discover the Mind Bender.</i>

553
00:28:22,076 --> 00:28:24,578
What's that sound I hear?

554
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:33,295
What do you think
you're doing?
Looking for you.

555
00:28:33,379 --> 00:28:35,715
Well, you scared
the bejesus out of me.
Really?

556
00:28:35,798 --> 00:28:37,591
Sounded like a squeal
of delight to me.

557
00:28:37,675 --> 00:28:40,511
Someone is fooling
with an open mike on 13.

558
00:28:42,763 --> 00:28:45,224
Look,
I just wanted to say that I...

559
00:29:00,406 --> 00:29:01,532
Okay.

560
00:29:02,867 --> 00:29:05,286
All right. Bad timing.

561
00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:09,874
Look, you think after
the show we could get
a cup of java or something?

562
00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:16,922
Roger. Keep trying,
it'll come back to you.

563
00:29:17,006 --> 00:29:18,215
Dead man.

564
00:29:18,340 --> 00:29:19,550
Where?

565
00:29:36,942 --> 00:29:38,903
<i>Strange eating habits, indeed.</i>

566
00:29:38,986 --> 00:29:43,449
<i>Well, Maynard, tell us,
which part of this Buick
did you eat first?</i>

567
00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:47,369
<i>With a little deviled egg,
the lug nuts make
wonderful appetizers.</i>

568
00:29:47,578 --> 00:29:48,871
Lug nuts.

569
00:29:49,914 --> 00:29:51,540
Well, gentlemen,

570
00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:53,918
when you see
the rest of the firepower

571
00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:56,170
that we have
marshaled for you
this evening,

572
00:29:56,253 --> 00:29:58,839
I'm gonna expect you
to do your duty and run out

573
00:29:58,923 --> 00:30:02,676
and enlist in my war against
the other three networks.

574
00:30:04,053 --> 00:30:06,806
<i>My girlfriend and I...</i>
Girlfriend, hey.

575
00:30:07,681 --> 00:30:10,601
<i>We're thinking about
eating a bus together.</i>

576
00:30:11,393 --> 00:30:13,145
<i>Won't that be scrumptious!</i>

577
00:30:13,312 --> 00:30:15,022
<i>We'll do our best to
check in with you then.</i>

578
00:30:18,609 --> 00:30:20,152
Call the police.

579
00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:24,406
<i>And now, the girl with
the va-va-va-voom voice,</i>

580
00:30:24,615 --> 00:30:27,409
<i>Claudette Katzenback!</i>

581
00:30:53,060 --> 00:30:55,855
The General's son
just committed suicide.

582
00:30:56,272 --> 00:30:57,314
Tough break.

583
00:30:57,398 --> 00:30:59,733
Hate to lose that weak-kneed,
lily-livered son of a...

584
00:30:59,817 --> 00:31:01,193
Famous general,
right, sir?

585
00:31:01,277 --> 00:31:03,737
You're wanted in
the General's office
right away.

586
00:31:22,172 --> 00:31:23,340
Mr. Station Manager, sir,

587
00:31:23,424 --> 00:31:27,428
you're supposed to
rush down to the General's
office right away.

588
00:31:27,970 --> 00:31:30,723
Though being my boss
and all, I suppose

589
00:31:30,806 --> 00:31:33,058
you can just slowly
saunter if you want to.

590
00:31:33,726 --> 00:31:34,977
Carry on.

591
00:31:38,731 --> 00:31:42,151
<i>That was the Va-Va-Va-Voom
Girl herself,</i>

592
00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:44,028
<i>Claudette Katzenback.</i>

593
00:31:45,279 --> 00:31:47,197
All right, ladies and gents.

594
00:31:47,281 --> 00:31:48,991
At 7:15 this evening,

595
00:31:49,074 --> 00:31:52,745
young Walt Whalen Junior
was found hanging
in an empty studio.

596
00:31:53,454 --> 00:31:55,205
The apparent cause
of death, suicide.

597
00:31:55,289 --> 00:31:57,458
My son didn't
have enough courage
to commit suicide.

598
00:31:57,541 --> 00:31:58,876
It was murder!

599
00:31:58,959 --> 00:32:01,378
Maybe suicide, maybe murder.
Either way,
I'm missing my dinner.

600
00:32:01,462 --> 00:32:04,048
It was murder,
and I brought you here
to find the killer.

601
00:32:04,131 --> 00:32:06,133
And I don't want you to leave
until you've done that.

602
00:32:06,216 --> 00:32:07,927
Do you understand me,
Lieutenant?

603
00:32:08,010 --> 00:32:09,970
Get my people out of here
as soon as possible.

604
00:32:10,054 --> 00:32:11,805
I've got a network to run.

605
00:32:12,181 --> 00:32:13,599
Now, which of you...

606
00:32:13,682 --> 00:32:15,309
You sent for me?

607
00:32:15,476 --> 00:32:16,727
Maybe. Who are you?

608
00:32:16,810 --> 00:32:18,520
I'm Claudette Katzenback,

609
00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:22,524
the Va-Va-Va-Voom Girl
with the va-va-va-voom voice.

610
00:32:22,608 --> 00:32:24,234
Who the hell are you?

611
00:32:24,318 --> 00:32:28,530
I'm Lieutenant Cross,
the Chicago cop with
the sh-sh-sh-short temper.

612
00:32:28,614 --> 00:32:31,325
I'm here investigating
a Mr. Walt Whalen Junior's
death.

613
00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:32,743
Walt? Dead?

614
00:32:33,619 --> 00:32:36,538
No. Why didn't
anybody tell me?

615
00:32:39,041 --> 00:32:42,044
Not that I actually
knew the man. I didn't.

616
00:32:42,252 --> 00:32:45,339
I mean, he was a director,
wasn't he?

617
00:32:45,756 --> 00:32:48,342
I'd like to play poker
with you sometime.

618
00:32:58,852 --> 00:33:01,563
- Which one of you is Penny Henderson?
- That's me.

619
00:33:01,647 --> 00:33:03,816
What do you do around here?
Just about everything, sir.

620
00:33:03,899 --> 00:33:06,610
Shut up and sit down.
Okay.

621
00:33:06,694 --> 00:33:08,654
I'm the General's secretary,
sir.

622
00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:11,156
My condolences.
You found the dead guy?

623
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,409
Up on the 13th floor.
See anybody else up there?

624
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:15,911
We just found
Walt hanging there.

625
00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:18,288
I infer by your use
of the plural

626
00:33:18,372 --> 00:33:20,040
that there was somebody else
up there with you?

627
00:33:20,124 --> 00:33:21,333
Not with me.

628
00:33:21,417 --> 00:33:23,544
When I got up there,
I saw Roger
coming down the hall.

629
00:33:23,627 --> 00:33:24,795
Roger!

630
00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:29,925
So, you must be Roger.

631
00:33:30,551 --> 00:33:31,635
Must I?

632
00:33:31,719 --> 00:33:33,345
I've got one question
for you, young man.

633
00:33:33,429 --> 00:33:34,555
Why were you up there?

634
00:33:34,638 --> 00:33:36,724
Did you have business
in that studio?
What were you doing?

635
00:33:36,807 --> 00:33:38,851
Isn't that three questions?

636
00:33:39,643 --> 00:33:42,229
Nothing, nothing.
I was looking for Penny.

637
00:33:42,312 --> 00:33:44,523
To discuss a script.
He's a writer.

638
00:33:44,606 --> 00:33:47,109
A writer? I hate writers!

639
00:33:47,192 --> 00:33:49,028
They drink too much,
they beat their wives...

640
00:33:49,111 --> 00:33:50,320
Lieutenant!

641
00:33:51,405 --> 00:33:52,489
What?

642
00:33:53,407 --> 00:33:56,827
No, no. Not,
"What? I didn't hear you."
I mean, what!

643
00:33:56,910 --> 00:33:59,538
What the hell is
going on around here?

644
00:33:59,663 --> 00:34:01,790
Somebody else died
in Radioland tonight.

645
00:34:01,874 --> 00:34:03,333
Why weren't we notified?

646
00:34:03,417 --> 00:34:06,754
It was a trumpet player,
but the doctor said it
was just a heart attack.

647
00:34:06,837 --> 00:34:10,924
The coroner says different.
Says your trumpet player
was murdered!

648
00:34:11,508 --> 00:34:14,344
Pickled with
an arsenic-and-gin cocktail.

649
00:34:14,887 --> 00:34:17,139
That was rat poison.

650
00:34:18,766 --> 00:34:21,226
He showed me Ruffles' flask.

651
00:34:21,852 --> 00:34:24,396
Flask?
Roger had it.

652
00:34:28,275 --> 00:34:29,526
Déjà vu.

653
00:34:31,278 --> 00:34:32,446
This is all
very explainable, okay?

654
00:34:32,529 --> 00:34:35,199
I was running by when
they were carrying Ruffles'
body off the stage.

655
00:34:35,282 --> 00:34:37,826
And he happened
to drop his flask
on my script, and I just...

656
00:34:37,910 --> 00:34:39,661
I just picked it up.

657
00:34:40,871 --> 00:34:44,416
I don't suppose
you still have it?
No, no, of course not.

658
00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:48,462
Why would I still have it?
Right here in my pocket,

659
00:34:48,545 --> 00:34:50,756
where in all the confusion,
I forgot that I put it.

660
00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:53,592
Careful! It might
have fingerprints on it.

661
00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:54,802
Fingerprints?

662
00:34:54,885 --> 00:34:55,969
Of course
there are fingerprints.

663
00:34:56,053 --> 00:34:58,722
My fingerprints.
I'm holding it, you idiot.
Give me that!

664
00:34:58,806 --> 00:35:02,643
Well, well, well.
Roger's a regular
Johnny-on-the-spot.

665
00:35:03,102 --> 00:35:06,563
Placed at the scene
of Whalen's death,
and now he has the poison

666
00:35:06,647 --> 00:35:09,149
that killed poor Ruffles.

667
00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:11,652
Hey...
Oh, pipe down, Dexter.

668
00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:13,904
Roger may be a lot of things,
but he's not a murderer.

669
00:35:13,987 --> 00:35:15,447
She's right.

670
00:35:15,656 --> 00:35:17,074
I'm not even a lot of things.

671
00:35:17,157 --> 00:35:19,535
I said,
shut up and sit down.

672
00:35:20,035 --> 00:35:22,287
You seem to know him
pretty well, for a secretary.

673
00:35:22,371 --> 00:35:24,289
Well, I'm his wife, too.

674
00:35:25,374 --> 00:35:29,002
Ex-wife. Soon-to-be ex-wife.
We're getting divorced.

675
00:35:29,128 --> 00:35:31,505
How come?
I couldn't trust him.

676
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:34,091
He lies.

677
00:35:35,134 --> 00:35:36,593
Not big lies.

678
00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:39,429
One big lie.
But he never lied
about killing anyone.

679
00:35:39,513 --> 00:35:40,639
That I know of.

680
00:35:40,722 --> 00:35:42,599
I'll remember you
when I need
a character witness.

681
00:35:42,683 --> 00:35:46,311
Isn't that what's referred to
in police jargon as a lead?

682
00:35:46,436 --> 00:35:47,688
Oh, put a sock in it, Dexter.

683
00:35:47,771 --> 00:35:49,565
I happen to know that
you had a fist fight

684
00:35:49,648 --> 00:35:51,441
with Junior just before
he was killed.

685
00:35:51,525 --> 00:35:54,736
Guess that makes you
what we refer to in
police jargon as a suspect.

686
00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:56,155
Now you're talking!
Shut up.

687
00:35:56,238 --> 00:35:57,656
And sit down, I know.

688
00:35:57,739 --> 00:35:58,949
Stay put, Mr. Morris.

689
00:35:59,032 --> 00:36:01,410
We'd like to ask
our suspect a few questions.

690
00:36:01,493 --> 00:36:03,996
Don't wander too far,
Shakespeare!

691
00:36:04,746 --> 00:36:06,206
You're next.

692
00:36:06,999 --> 00:36:08,458
Thanks a lot!

693
00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:13,672
I'm a suspect.
Okay, Roger, I'm sorry.

694
00:36:13,797 --> 00:36:15,591
It's a little late
for that now!

695
00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:18,093
That lunkhead copper's
gonna want me on a carpet
in a couple of minutes.

696
00:36:18,177 --> 00:36:20,387
I gotta clear myself,
and fast.

697
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:24,725
And now, here they are,
America's favorite hosts...</i>

698
00:36:42,075 --> 00:36:43,410
All right.

699
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,212
Well, well, well.

700
00:36:53,337 --> 00:36:54,546
Looks like Ruffles
caught your good side.

701
00:36:54,630 --> 00:36:55,923
You're double-jointed, huh?

702
00:36:56,006 --> 00:36:58,050
This is all the proof I need.
Give me those!

703
00:36:58,133 --> 00:36:59,885
You know, I'd kill to have
pictures like these.

704
00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:01,845
Maybe your husband would, too.

705
00:37:01,970 --> 00:37:05,515
<i>And now,
that rip-roaring, rococo Romeo</i>

706
00:37:05,599 --> 00:37:08,018
<i>of ridiculous,
roguish rigmarole</i>

707
00:37:08,101 --> 00:37:10,103
<i>and rhapsodic,
rapier-like repartee,</i>

708
00:37:10,229 --> 00:37:12,189
Won't happen again,
Dexter.

709
00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:15,567
<i>...Rick Rochester
and his Rascals of Rhythm.</i>

710
00:37:15,651 --> 00:37:17,110
I'll ream those writers.

711
00:37:26,245 --> 00:37:27,621
<i>Thank you! Yes!</i>

712
00:37:27,704 --> 00:37:31,208
<i>"You hadn't
a clue of what to do</i>

713
00:37:31,375 --> 00:37:34,920
<i>"When you caught
your falling star"</i>

714
00:37:35,671 --> 00:37:38,423
Well, that's a good idea.
You got a better one?

715
00:37:41,510 --> 00:37:42,928
Check for open mikes.

716
00:37:43,053 --> 00:37:44,471
Oh, that's original.

717
00:37:49,559 --> 00:37:51,478
What the hell is
wrong with my stage?

718
00:37:52,271 --> 00:37:53,981
This can't be happening.
Not to my baby!

719
00:37:54,064 --> 00:37:56,692
Looks like your baby needs
a good whack in the axle.

720
00:37:56,775 --> 00:37:59,111
Don't you touch my stage!

721
00:38:01,238 --> 00:38:03,949
Somebody better do something
about your big idea stage,

722
00:38:04,032 --> 00:38:06,660
'cause the band's
a-going 'round again.

723
00:38:06,743 --> 00:38:08,662
I've got it!
Is it contagious?

724
00:38:08,745 --> 00:38:09,788
Just don't give it to us.

725
00:38:09,871 --> 00:38:12,749
No, no, no.
I've solved the murder.
Jeepers, Roger.

726
00:38:12,833 --> 00:38:13,959
No, listen to me, Penny.
I know...

727
00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:15,168
I know more about that
stage than anyone.

728
00:38:15,252 --> 00:38:16,962
Wait a minute, Katzenback,
I wanna talk to you!

729
00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:19,506
Oh, wait a minute, Mr. H,
I think the cops
want you upstairs.

730
00:38:20,882 --> 00:38:21,967
Gangway!

731
00:38:43,405 --> 00:38:46,325
There must be
a loose connection
underneath the stage.

732
00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:47,784
I will fix it!

733
00:38:47,868 --> 00:38:51,705
Just shut off the power
to the turntable
while I'm down there.

734
00:38:52,289 --> 00:38:54,207
And find me someone
to fire!

735
00:39:00,297 --> 00:39:01,548
What? Oh, God.

736
00:39:17,564 --> 00:39:20,442
Hold it, Herman.
We have some talking to do.

737
00:39:24,905 --> 00:39:26,406
Tough guy, huh?

738
00:39:29,576 --> 00:39:31,787
Yes, sir, General, I know.
We need to get it fixed.

739
00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:33,997
We're doing
everything we can.

740
00:39:34,081 --> 00:39:35,207
Roger.

741
00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:37,376
I'll call you back.

742
00:39:44,007 --> 00:39:45,675
What is going on here?

743
00:39:45,759 --> 00:39:46,968
Herman?

744
00:39:51,348 --> 00:39:53,642
What do you think,
Herman, huh?

745
00:39:53,767 --> 00:39:55,477
Blackmail a good motive
for murder?

746
00:39:57,521 --> 00:39:58,980
You're crazy, Henderson.

747
00:39:59,064 --> 00:40:02,109
My wife was fooling around
with everyone and his dog.
Even I know that.

748
00:40:03,652 --> 00:40:04,736
Ruffles showed you
these photos,

749
00:40:04,820 --> 00:40:08,573
then you killed Walt Junior
for messing around
with your wife.

750
00:40:13,703 --> 00:40:14,955
You see. Yeah.

751
00:40:16,998 --> 00:40:18,917
Yeah. See?
It's sabotage. Yeah.

752
00:40:23,630 --> 00:40:28,051
German engineering
could never be ruined
by American pipe.

753
00:40:33,598 --> 00:40:34,808
There it goes again.

754
00:40:34,891 --> 00:40:35,976
I gave no...

755
00:40:37,144 --> 00:40:38,311
Herman!

756
00:40:38,395 --> 00:40:40,856
Perry, Perry,
kill the revolve! We've got
people under there!

757
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,649
Henderson, wait. I'm caught!

758
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:48,738
I've got to go down there.
Let me go,
please, please.

759
00:40:48,822 --> 00:40:50,073
Pull me!
I'm pulling!

760
00:40:50,157 --> 00:40:51,867
Henderson!

761
00:40:51,950 --> 00:40:54,244
Henderson!
For God's sake, Henderson!

762
00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:02,210
Henderson!

763
00:41:16,933 --> 00:41:18,977
It's Katzenback!
Move out!

764
00:41:19,269 --> 00:41:21,438
Oh, God, it's Herman!

765
00:41:21,563 --> 00:41:23,773
He's... He's...everywhere!

766
00:41:25,108 --> 00:41:26,902
Roger. Where's Roger?

767
00:41:28,111 --> 00:41:30,864
If you find his diamond,
I know he'd want me
to have it.

768
00:41:45,795 --> 00:41:47,339
They missed me.

769
00:41:47,631 --> 00:41:49,799
I think I'll talk
to the cops now.

770
00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:52,844
<i>WBN...</i>

771
00:41:53,762 --> 00:41:55,180
What happened?

772
00:41:55,472 --> 00:41:57,682
Katzenback is
mashed potatoes.

773
00:41:57,766 --> 00:41:59,434
Dead?
Very.

774
00:42:00,185 --> 00:42:02,395
When is this going to stop?

775
00:42:02,604 --> 00:42:04,856
I see this as
a classical tragedy

776
00:42:04,940 --> 00:42:07,359
in three acts. Act One,

777
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:09,611
Claudette and young
Walt Whalen Junior

778
00:42:09,778 --> 00:42:11,905
were indulging in
some illicit sexercise.

779
00:42:11,988 --> 00:42:13,323
Exhibit A.

780
00:42:16,451 --> 00:42:17,911
Ruffles Reedy had the photos.

781
00:42:17,994 --> 00:42:19,079
He was blackmailing them,

782
00:42:19,162 --> 00:42:21,331
threatening to go
to Claudette's husband,
Katzenback.

783
00:42:21,414 --> 00:42:25,794
So Walt Junior put an end
to Ruffles Reedy.
He shut him up permanently

784
00:42:26,253 --> 00:42:28,255
with poison. Exhibit B.

785
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,340
Unfortunately...

786
00:42:31,633 --> 00:42:33,093
Unfortunately...

787
00:42:33,593 --> 00:42:35,178
Excuse me.

788
00:42:35,303 --> 00:42:36,888
Unfortunately,
he killed him too late.

789
00:42:36,972 --> 00:42:39,307
Ruffles had already blown
his tune to Katzenback.

790
00:42:39,391 --> 00:42:41,101
Am I going too fast
for you, Lieutenant?

791
00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:42,644
Yeah, you wise guy...
Act Two.

792
00:42:42,936 --> 00:42:44,020
In a fit of insane jealousy,

793
00:42:44,104 --> 00:42:46,189
Katzenback kills Walt Junior,
his wife's young lover,

794
00:42:46,273 --> 00:42:49,943
which brings us to Act Three,
the final act. The denouement.

795
00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:54,656
Where Claudette, distraught,
avenges Walt Junior's death
by killing her husband,

796
00:42:54,739 --> 00:42:58,535
Herman Katzenback.
Lights down, curtain,
thunderous applause.

797
00:43:09,546 --> 00:43:10,839
Not bad, Sherlock.

798
00:43:11,172 --> 00:43:12,299
Anytime, chief.

799
00:43:12,382 --> 00:43:15,635
I'm proud to have brought
Claudette Katzenback
to justice.

800
00:43:15,802 --> 00:43:18,179
Though in a way,
I almost feel sorry for her.

801
00:43:18,263 --> 00:43:21,182
You know, such a bitter,
conniving,
twisted personality.

802
00:43:21,266 --> 00:43:23,310
I'll murder you,
you little punk.

803
00:43:23,393 --> 00:43:25,353
Though you gotta
love her way around
a show tune.

804
00:43:25,437 --> 00:43:28,940
Lieutenant, he hates me
because of a silly joke.

805
00:43:29,024 --> 00:43:32,694
You see,
I made his wife believe
we were having an affair.

806
00:43:32,777 --> 00:43:34,321
And this is his revenge.

807
00:43:34,404 --> 00:43:36,823
Well, it was just
a little joke, stupid!

808
00:43:36,906 --> 00:43:38,575
Well, nobody's
laughing, sister.

809
00:43:38,658 --> 00:43:40,785
You don't know how much
I'm gonna hate saying goodbye

810
00:43:40,869 --> 00:43:43,204
to all you swell
show biz people.

811
00:43:43,413 --> 00:43:45,040
Watch your fingers.

812
00:43:45,165 --> 00:43:47,250
The book's slamming shut
on this case.

813
00:43:47,334 --> 00:43:50,003
I slammed my fingers
in a car door once.

814
00:43:51,338 --> 00:43:52,589
Ouch.

815
00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:53,923
Cuff her.

816
00:43:54,257 --> 00:43:57,177
No! You mean,
you're actually arresting me?

817
00:43:57,886 --> 00:44:00,221
This is an outrage.
Penny...

818
00:44:00,305 --> 00:44:03,099
Roger...
Soldier, that was
clear thinking under fire.

819
00:44:03,183 --> 00:44:04,225
Thank you, sir.

820
00:44:04,309 --> 00:44:05,435
How much do I
pay you, anyway?

821
00:44:05,518 --> 00:44:08,063
No, no.
No, that's not
necessary, sir.

822
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:11,983
I mean, I only make
$40 a week and...
Sounds about right. Dismissed.

823
00:44:12,150 --> 00:44:15,028
We've lost our director
and our station manager.

824
00:44:15,111 --> 00:44:17,656
A new leader's
got to come forward
and take command.

825
00:44:17,739 --> 00:44:19,491
Well, the troops will
follow you anywhere, sir.

826
00:44:19,574 --> 00:44:22,327
I'm talking
about you, Henderson.
You're the director.

827
00:44:22,410 --> 00:44:24,037
You're the new
station manager.

828
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:27,290
I know, I know,
they're big shoes to fill,

829
00:44:27,374 --> 00:44:29,417
but I think she has
the feet for the job.

830
00:44:29,501 --> 00:44:31,628
I've got to go coddle King
and the affiliates.

831
00:44:31,711 --> 00:44:34,005
I'm depending on you
to keep this network running.

832
00:44:34,089 --> 00:44:35,340
Yes, sir.

833
00:44:36,174 --> 00:44:37,842
At ease, Private.

834
00:44:38,259 --> 00:44:39,511
Director.

835
00:44:40,679 --> 00:44:43,181
Get back to your typewriter.
We got a lot of work to do.

836
00:44:43,264 --> 00:44:45,809
Miss Henderson,
Miss Henderson! Hey, Mr. H.

837
00:44:45,892 --> 00:44:48,228
What is it?
Oh, <i>Johnny Ace,</i>
Hard-Boiled Dick,

838
00:44:48,311 --> 00:44:50,146
the actors still
don't have their scripts.
What?

839
00:44:50,230 --> 00:44:52,357
Yeah,
and they're up right after
Ben Butter's talking pig.

840
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:56,486
Well, get to the writers'
room and get the scripts.
Quick, come on.

841
00:44:59,155 --> 00:45:00,490
Come on, clear the way.

842
00:45:00,573 --> 00:45:03,159
All right, all right.
Come on, come on.

843
00:45:03,243 --> 00:45:04,577
Hey, take her downtown.

844
00:45:13,086 --> 00:45:16,840
<i>Wonderful.
Wonderful. Wonderful.</i>

845
00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:21,177
<i>Johnny Ace, Hard-Boiled Dick</i>
is up in five minutes.

846
00:45:21,261 --> 00:45:24,889
I know. Deirdre,
get this to the actors.
Is that the whole thing?

847
00:45:24,973 --> 00:45:27,600
That ought to hold them
till Billy gets down
with the other pages.

848
00:45:27,684 --> 00:45:29,144
And stay out!

849
00:45:30,937 --> 00:45:32,313
We haven't been paid
in three weeks,

850
00:45:32,397 --> 00:45:35,316
and we're not gonna rewrite
any more pages until we are!

851
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,444
Am I making myself clear?

852
00:45:37,694 --> 00:45:40,196
Sorry, I might be
little on edge.

853
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,615
Come on, guys,
you can't do this.

854
00:45:42,699 --> 00:45:44,909
There are a lot of people
waiting on those pages.

855
00:45:44,993 --> 00:45:48,872
Will you quit fooling around?
We have work to do.
Now, come on.

856
00:45:53,209 --> 00:45:55,879
Go chew a bone.
He's with me. Come on.

857
00:45:56,212 --> 00:45:57,922
Give me those notes.

858
00:45:59,132 --> 00:46:00,717
Here's your script.

859
00:46:00,884 --> 00:46:02,552
One page?
Sorry.

860
00:46:02,635 --> 00:46:03,720
Sorry?

861
00:46:16,024 --> 00:46:17,609
This is pitiful.

862
00:46:18,818 --> 00:46:21,362
<i>"Beginnings and endings are easy</i>

863
00:46:21,654 --> 00:46:24,824
<i>"But your words are
twisted and wheezy"</i>

864
00:46:24,908 --> 00:46:27,494
What are those things?
There's been three
or four of them tonight.

865
00:46:27,577 --> 00:46:29,579
Only three of them.
Right before
each of the murders.

866
00:46:29,662 --> 00:46:31,873
I remember them, Mr. H.
I remember them all,
word for word.

867
00:46:31,956 --> 00:46:33,416
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

868
00:46:33,541 --> 00:46:35,043
What are you talking about?

869
00:46:35,126 --> 00:46:37,962
Well, when it comes to radio,
I'm kind of a Mr. Memory.

870
00:46:38,046 --> 00:46:40,548
You know, I even
remember the first thing
I ever heard on radio.

871
00:46:40,632 --> 00:46:43,885
It was <i>Kay Kornwall's
Kollege of Musical Komedy.</i>

872
00:46:43,968 --> 00:46:47,138
Kid! Just give me
the first one, will you?
Oh, right.

873
00:46:48,181 --> 00:46:50,475
"Dig and dig
to find some dirt

874
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:52,852
"Dig too deep
and you'll get hurt"

875
00:46:53,019 --> 00:46:55,063
"Dig and dig to
find some dirt"

876
00:46:55,146 --> 00:46:57,607
That could be Ruffles, right?
He was blackmailing everybody.

877
00:46:57,690 --> 00:46:59,567
Kind of a reach, Mr. H.

878
00:47:00,109 --> 00:47:01,319
Then there was,

879
00:47:01,402 --> 00:47:05,323
"Hardly time to say a prayer
Before we move on to the air".

880
00:47:05,406 --> 00:47:07,951
Air. Heir! Heir.
That could actually be
"heir" as the H-E-I-R.

881
00:47:08,034 --> 00:47:10,453
The General's heir, right?
Walt Junior.

882
00:47:10,703 --> 00:47:13,623
<i>And now, here's another
thrilling episode of</i>

883
00:47:13,706 --> 00:47:15,959
Johnny Ace, Hard-Boiled Dick.

884
00:47:19,420 --> 00:47:21,172
I've gone through
this once already.
But it's not any...

885
00:47:21,256 --> 00:47:23,216
Get their butts out there.

886
00:47:23,341 --> 00:47:25,301
Who do they think we are?

887
00:47:25,510 --> 00:47:26,553
Go! Go!

888
00:47:26,636 --> 00:47:28,763
They only have
the one page of the script
I wrote for them.

889
00:47:28,847 --> 00:47:30,640
Better one than none.

890
00:47:32,183 --> 00:47:35,728
<i>Just another day in the life
of Johnny Ace,
Hard-Boiled Dick.</i>

891
00:47:35,854 --> 00:47:38,606
<i>Except today was
not an ordinary day.</i>

892
00:47:39,023 --> 00:47:40,108
I'll say.

893
00:47:40,233 --> 00:47:43,111
<i>Good morning, Johnny.
So, what's the latest?</i>

894
00:47:43,736 --> 00:47:47,532
<i>Well, looks like
we're in mid-case
without a parachute, toots.</i>

895
00:47:50,410 --> 00:47:51,744
What? That's it?

896
00:47:51,870 --> 00:47:54,038
That...
Oh, this will be good.

897
00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:56,583
<i>What should we do now,
Johnny?</i>

898
00:47:56,666 --> 00:47:58,626
Oh, brilliant improvisation.

899
00:47:58,877 --> 00:48:00,253
<i>It's hard to say.</i>

900
00:48:00,336 --> 00:48:02,881
<i>A situation like this
can fool you.</i>

901
00:48:02,964 --> 00:48:05,633
<i>I mean, you step up
to the plate expecting
a high, hard one.</i>

902
00:48:05,717 --> 00:48:07,760
The actors are improvising?

903
00:48:10,305 --> 00:48:12,974
<i>I mean, just when you think
you know who the killer is,</i>

904
00:48:13,057 --> 00:48:15,518
<i>I mean, just who you
think it was, wasn't.</i>

905
00:48:15,602 --> 00:48:16,603
Katzenback!
Katzenback!

906
00:48:16,686 --> 00:48:18,688
Claudette's the falling star
he caught having an affair.

907
00:48:18,771 --> 00:48:20,189
Keep it coming.

908
00:48:20,273 --> 00:48:22,191
"Beginnings and endings
are easy

909
00:48:22,275 --> 00:48:24,944
"But your...
But your words are
twisted and wheezy"

910
00:48:25,069 --> 00:48:26,613
Words, words...
Twisted and wheezy.

911
00:48:26,696 --> 00:48:28,531
That's smoking?
Coughing? The...

912
00:48:29,991 --> 00:48:31,159
Dexter!
Dexter!

913
00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:33,536
What's Dexter
got to do with it?

914
00:48:34,329 --> 00:48:36,873
<i>One minute,
you're walking on water,</i>

915
00:48:37,373 --> 00:48:40,543
<i>and before you know it,
you're all wet.</i>

916
00:48:41,002 --> 00:48:43,212
Oh, this is so sad.
Pathetic.

917
00:48:43,338 --> 00:48:45,006
<i>Well, never mind.</i>

918
00:48:45,173 --> 00:48:47,133
Dexter and everybody
who left here in a hearse

919
00:48:47,216 --> 00:48:50,178
used to work with my dad
back at WOWA in Peoria.

920
00:48:50,261 --> 00:48:52,513
Till the FCC scandal
broke it up.
Scandal.

921
00:48:52,597 --> 00:48:54,891
Yeah, and their bathrooms
was just as dirty.

922
00:48:54,974 --> 00:48:57,769
Coming in!
Shake a leg and zip it up.

923
00:48:58,144 --> 00:49:00,271
WOWA.
Peoria.

924
00:49:00,355 --> 00:49:02,899
Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!
Dexter is next!

925
00:49:02,982 --> 00:49:04,025
<i>And, toots?</i>

926
00:49:04,150 --> 00:49:05,193
<i>Yes, Johnny?</i>

927
00:49:06,903 --> 00:49:09,238
<i>You look after the office
until I'm back.</i>

928
00:49:09,572 --> 00:49:11,950
Now we're in trouble.
Cue Dexter.

929
00:49:12,075 --> 00:49:15,203
<i>We'll return with
the exciting adventure
conclusion of</i>

930
00:49:15,328 --> 00:49:18,247
Johnny Ace, Hard-Boiled Dick
<i>in just a moment.</i>

931
00:49:22,418 --> 00:49:23,962
Dexter!
Dexter!

932
00:49:25,004 --> 00:49:26,756
It's locked!
Dexter.

933
00:49:26,839 --> 00:49:31,594
<i>I'd like to take
this opportunity to talk about
Sunrise Surprise Coffee.</i>

934
00:49:31,678 --> 00:49:33,388
Dexter!
Open the door!
Open the door!

935
00:49:33,471 --> 00:49:37,850
<i>That rich,
aromatic, flavorful way
to start the day.</i>

936
00:49:38,559 --> 00:49:40,353
Dexter! Open the door!

937
00:49:40,436 --> 00:49:41,437
Mmm.

938
00:49:42,063 --> 00:49:45,608
<i>Just one sip and you'll see
what I mean when I say...</i>

939
00:49:59,789 --> 00:50:02,291
Get the stand, will you?
Get the stand!

940
00:50:02,375 --> 00:50:05,545
Then, on three. One, two...

941
00:50:08,214 --> 00:50:09,757
Three?
What are you doing?

942
00:50:09,841 --> 00:50:11,009
What in the...

943
00:50:11,342 --> 00:50:13,219
Open up the...
The door!

944
00:50:13,302 --> 00:50:15,596
It's not supposed
to be locked.

945
00:50:16,764 --> 00:50:18,266
Hey!
Cut it out!

946
00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:19,600
Come on, come on.

947
00:50:23,688 --> 00:50:25,857
Phil, call Doc Burman.
Everyone get back to work.

948
00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:27,775
So I guess we'll be needing
a new announcer, huh?

949
00:50:27,859 --> 00:50:29,068
Go to Tom McCallum's
dressing room,

950
00:50:29,152 --> 00:50:30,987
tell him he's just been
promoted to announcer.

951
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:32,280
Tom McCallum?
Now.

952
00:50:32,363 --> 00:50:33,489
Okay.

953
00:50:34,991 --> 00:50:36,367
Oh, my God.

954
00:50:37,410 --> 00:50:39,537
"Your words are twisted
and wheezy"

955
00:50:39,662 --> 00:50:41,122
That's you, Dexter.

956
00:50:53,342 --> 00:50:56,220
I want a cop stationed
at every exit of the studio.

957
00:50:56,512 --> 00:51:00,099
Any man, woman, dog,
cat or duck tries to leave,

958
00:51:00,725 --> 00:51:03,311
pull them and chain them
to a desk.

959
00:51:09,108 --> 00:51:11,152
You seen Tom McCallum?
No.

960
00:51:12,236 --> 00:51:13,404
Hey.

961
00:51:13,863 --> 00:51:15,323
Whoa.

962
00:51:18,951 --> 00:51:20,078
What?

963
00:51:21,704 --> 00:51:22,955
Not again.

964
00:51:23,039 --> 00:51:25,583
Dexter's dead.
It's another murder.

965
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,795
I'm going home.
But the police won't let you.

966
00:51:38,179 --> 00:51:39,889
You! Front and center.

967
00:51:39,972 --> 00:51:42,058
I got a job for you.
Yes, sir, General Whalen.

968
00:51:42,141 --> 00:51:44,393
We'll have the new announcer
up and running
before you can...

969
00:51:44,477 --> 00:51:45,812
Stow it, grunt.

970
00:51:45,895 --> 00:51:48,689
I can't have any scuttlebutt
about our latest casualty.

971
00:51:48,773 --> 00:51:50,358
If the affiliates get word,

972
00:51:50,441 --> 00:51:54,070
they'll be out of here
quicker than Shinola
through a goose.

973
00:51:54,153 --> 00:51:57,532
Do whatever you have to do
to keep them in that room.

974
00:51:59,408 --> 00:52:01,077
Boy, I love radio,

975
00:52:01,369 --> 00:52:03,704
but I love
a good pee even more.

976
00:52:10,419 --> 00:52:11,546
Open up!

977
00:52:12,004 --> 00:52:15,508
I gotta go to the bathroom!
An empty bottle's
always good in a pinch.

978
00:52:19,303 --> 00:52:21,681
May I have your
attention, please?

979
00:52:22,306 --> 00:52:24,517
Quiet!

980
00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:29,522
I know things have been
a little crazy
around here tonight,

981
00:52:29,605 --> 00:52:31,566
and you're all shook up.

982
00:52:33,526 --> 00:52:36,112
Since we can't leave,
and we still got a job to do,

983
00:52:36,195 --> 00:52:38,823
we might as well do it
and do it right.

984
00:52:39,282 --> 00:52:42,535
Look, all I'm saying is,
we're a team.

985
00:52:43,578 --> 00:52:46,789
And we gotta trust the police
to do their job

986
00:52:46,873 --> 00:52:48,624
and get back to
caring about ours.

987
00:52:48,708 --> 00:52:50,168
It's not our job to care.

988
00:52:50,251 --> 00:52:53,963
It's everyone's job to care.
It's everyone's job to care.

989
00:52:55,173 --> 00:52:57,341
Look, Penny's right.
We do still have a job to do.

990
00:52:57,425 --> 00:53:00,094
And believe me,
pretty soon they're gonna
nail this schizo,

991
00:53:00,178 --> 00:53:02,722
this nutsy,
mad-dog fruitcake.

992
00:53:03,347 --> 00:53:04,640
Henderson!

993
00:53:06,726 --> 00:53:08,227
Come with me.

994
00:53:09,228 --> 00:53:10,605
Obviously,
there's been a mistake.

995
00:53:10,688 --> 00:53:11,689
- Murderer!
- Yeah.

996
00:53:12,899 --> 00:53:15,026
<i>You're gonna talk
if I have to wring it
out of you!</i>

997
00:53:15,109 --> 00:53:18,571
<i>No! Please,
I can't take any more.</i>

998
00:53:18,654 --> 00:53:19,989
Go on, kid.
Spill the beans.

999
00:53:20,072 --> 00:53:21,490
Well, I told you,
it wasn't me.

1000
00:53:21,574 --> 00:53:23,492
But all four of those victims
had something in common.

1001
00:53:23,576 --> 00:53:25,703
Yeah. They're all dead.

1002
00:53:26,078 --> 00:53:30,541
Besides that. They all worked
together a few years ago
at radio station WOWA

1003
00:53:30,625 --> 00:53:33,753
in Peoria.
Won't fly, Lindbergh.
This is Chicago.

1004
00:53:33,836 --> 00:53:36,505
Peoria's a lot smaller
than Chicago.

1005
00:53:36,589 --> 00:53:40,301
Look, I heard about
an FCC scandal there.

1006
00:53:40,384 --> 00:53:42,511
Maybe someone's
trying to kill them all
to keep it quiet.

1007
00:53:42,595 --> 00:53:45,806
Yeah, and maybe
the Easter Bunny
craps colored eggs!

1008
00:53:46,307 --> 00:53:48,142
Listen to me, scribe.

1009
00:53:48,267 --> 00:53:51,229
You led me down
the garden path
with that Claudette broad.

1010
00:53:51,312 --> 00:53:53,356
But you were the one
with Ruffles' flask.

1011
00:53:53,439 --> 00:53:55,691
You were the one
who was up there
hanging around with Walt.

1012
00:53:55,775 --> 00:53:58,194
You were the one with
Katzenback when he got
crushed into kibble.

1013
00:53:58,277 --> 00:54:00,613
And you were the one
who just happened
to get there in time

1014
00:54:00,696 --> 00:54:03,074
to see Dexter light up
like a Roman candle!

1015
00:54:03,157 --> 00:54:04,867
How do you explain all that?

1016
00:54:04,951 --> 00:54:06,744
I'm having an off day?

1017
00:54:07,787 --> 00:54:10,665
What about
those recordings, huh?
That mysterious voice?

1018
00:54:10,748 --> 00:54:12,625
I got two words
of advice for you, punk.

1019
00:54:12,708 --> 00:54:14,085
Get a lawyer!

1020
00:54:15,044 --> 00:54:16,504
Wait a minute.

1021
00:54:16,963 --> 00:54:18,547
What mysterious voice?

1022
00:54:18,881 --> 00:54:21,175
<i>"Across the wave</i>

1023
00:54:21,259 --> 00:54:23,261
<i>"You gathered your host</i>

1024
00:54:23,511 --> 00:54:27,556
<i>"To see them line up
from ghost to ghost"</i>

1025
00:54:27,807 --> 00:54:30,434
That one! That one!
That's the killer.

1026
00:54:30,518 --> 00:54:32,687
He's broken into
the broadcast before
each of the murders.

1027
00:54:32,770 --> 00:54:35,231
Those riddles tell you
who's gonna be next.

1028
00:54:35,314 --> 00:54:36,357
Big deal.

1029
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:37,692
You could have
written them yourself.

1030
00:54:37,775 --> 00:54:39,360
You said
they were recordings.

1031
00:54:39,443 --> 00:54:41,237
All right. All right.

1032
00:54:41,362 --> 00:54:43,906
You got 30 seconds
to tell me what it means.

1033
00:54:43,990 --> 00:54:47,285
Hey! Hey!
Now take it easy.
Take it easy, fellas.

1034
00:54:47,743 --> 00:54:50,204
Just going to a typewriter.
It helps me think.

1035
00:54:50,288 --> 00:54:51,455
Thanks for the tan.

1036
00:54:51,539 --> 00:54:53,874
You're the engineers.
Have you tried everything?

1037
00:54:53,958 --> 00:54:55,418
It's not here, Penny.

1038
00:54:55,501 --> 00:54:59,171
That voice is not coming
through any of our mikes
or any of our studios.

1039
00:54:59,255 --> 00:55:01,966
Oh, well, I got news for you.
It's being broadcast
over our airwaves.

1040
00:55:02,091 --> 00:55:03,426
Penny, what are you
trying to say?

1041
00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:05,052
You think this is my fault
or Tommy's?

1042
00:55:05,136 --> 00:55:07,722
No! I don't care
whose fault it is.
Good. Then understand

1043
00:55:07,805 --> 00:55:10,057
that the real problem
is not where the voice
is coming from.

1044
00:55:10,141 --> 00:55:12,351
Right.
It's who might die next.

1045
00:55:14,103 --> 00:55:16,772
Okay. Okay. Here we go.

1046
00:55:18,232 --> 00:55:19,692
"Gathered your host

1047
00:55:20,276 --> 00:55:22,361
"from ghost to ghost"

1048
00:55:23,404 --> 00:55:24,655
"Ghost to ghost."

1049
00:55:24,739 --> 00:55:26,282
That could actually
be coast to coast.

1050
00:55:26,365 --> 00:55:28,200
That's the radio station.
Right?

1051
00:55:28,284 --> 00:55:31,120
And, "Gathered your host,"
it's...

1052
00:55:32,079 --> 00:55:33,622
General Whalen.

1053
00:55:33,706 --> 00:55:36,250
He's the host.
He's gonna be killed next.

1054
00:55:37,209 --> 00:55:38,294
We'll see.

1055
00:55:38,377 --> 00:55:41,922
<i>And now, celebrating his
100th year in show business,</i>

1056
00:55:42,006 --> 00:55:44,258
Milt Lackey.

1057
00:55:44,342 --> 00:55:46,302
Here we go, Bernie.
The crown jewel.

1058
00:55:46,385 --> 00:55:48,012
<i>Thank you. Thank you.</i>

1059
00:55:48,095 --> 00:55:50,848
Open up!
I gotta go to the bathroom!

1060
00:55:50,931 --> 00:55:54,310
<i>I get up in the morning,
and I read
the obituary column.</i>

1061
00:55:54,393 --> 00:55:56,937
My name isn't in it,
I have breakfast.

1062
00:55:57,104 --> 00:56:00,524
<i>The day I see my name in it,
I'll still have breakfast.</i>

1063
00:56:00,608 --> 00:56:03,194
<i>I'm not leaving
on an empty stomach.</i>

1064
00:56:07,031 --> 00:56:08,199
General Whalen, I...

1065
00:56:08,282 --> 00:56:10,826
Hey, hey, hey.
Excuse me, General,

1066
00:56:10,910 --> 00:56:13,829
I'd like you to let two
of my men accompany you
to your office.

1067
00:56:13,913 --> 00:56:15,539
There's a...
Strong probability...

1068
00:56:15,623 --> 00:56:17,875
There's a remote possibility

1069
00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:19,418
that you could be
the killer's next target.

1070
00:56:19,502 --> 00:56:21,754
Me? Bull twaddle.

1071
00:56:22,171 --> 00:56:25,007
I'm staying right here,
on the front line.

1072
00:56:25,466 --> 00:56:27,760
You know, General,
being the law and all,

1073
00:56:27,843 --> 00:56:31,305
I got the authority to shut
this three-watt circus down.

1074
00:56:31,722 --> 00:56:32,932
Humor me.

1075
00:56:33,641 --> 00:56:35,643
Jenkins, Muldoon,
go with the General.

1076
00:56:35,726 --> 00:56:36,977
The rest of you come with me.

1077
00:56:37,061 --> 00:56:39,688
We're gonna take
Mr. Henderson here
someplace quiet

1078
00:56:39,772 --> 00:56:41,482
where we're gonna
have another little talk.

1079
00:56:41,565 --> 00:56:43,484
Cuff him.
You can't do that,
Lieutenant.

1080
00:56:43,567 --> 00:56:45,236
Shut up.
Lieutenant!

1081
00:56:45,653 --> 00:56:46,779
General.

1082
00:56:46,862 --> 00:56:49,365
<i>In what other business
can a man my age</i>

1083
00:56:49,448 --> 00:56:51,659
<i>walk out on the stage,
smoke a cigar,</i>

1084
00:56:51,742 --> 00:56:53,994
<i>tell a few jokes,
sing a few songs</i>

1085
00:56:54,078 --> 00:56:57,706
<i>and use
the same color lipstick
that Dolores del Rio uses?</i>

1086
00:56:58,707 --> 00:57:01,419
<i>Everybody wants to know
when I'm gonna retire.</i>

1087
00:57:01,502 --> 00:57:02,670
<i>I'll never retire.</i>

1088
00:57:02,753 --> 00:57:04,922
You think his parents
beat him when he laughed?

1089
00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:06,799
<i>Oh, I'm even gonna
take my music with me.</i>

1090
00:57:09,718 --> 00:57:10,886
Tommy,

1091
00:57:11,929 --> 00:57:13,597
was that a smile?

1092
00:57:16,976 --> 00:57:18,436
Yeah. Take a look at this.
Max, Max, Max.

1093
00:57:18,519 --> 00:57:19,854
What? What?
Come, look, he's laughing.

1094
00:57:19,937 --> 00:57:21,480
Oh, my goodness.

1095
00:57:27,319 --> 00:57:28,863
Holy mackerel!

1096
00:57:30,239 --> 00:57:31,740
He's laughing.

1097
00:57:32,908 --> 00:57:34,535
Bernie King is
actually laughing.

1098
00:57:34,618 --> 00:57:37,121
All right, come on.
No, no, no.
Wait a minute, Lieutenant.

1099
00:57:37,204 --> 00:57:38,873
Bernie King never
laughs at anything.

1100
00:57:38,956 --> 00:57:40,958
All right. Come on, kid.
We got a lot to talk about.

1101
00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:43,377
No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Something's wrong up there.

1102
00:57:43,461 --> 00:57:46,088
The General was supposed
to be in that booth
till you took him out.

1103
00:57:46,172 --> 00:57:47,590
Bernie King's gonna be
killed by mistake.

1104
00:57:47,673 --> 00:57:51,135
Oh, gee, I hate interrupting
a man who's enjoying
his own murder so much.

1105
00:57:51,218 --> 00:57:52,219
Let's go!

1106
00:57:52,303 --> 00:57:54,346
Oh, my foot!

1107
00:57:56,849 --> 00:58:00,144
<i>That's it. The only thing
I got that still works.</i>

1108
00:58:02,354 --> 00:58:04,773
Now that's great radio.

1109
00:58:07,234 --> 00:58:09,570
Yes. He's laughing, General.
Laughing?

1110
00:58:10,362 --> 00:58:12,114
Hey! That way! That way!

1111
00:58:19,079 --> 00:58:21,665
Spread out.
He couldn't have gone far.

1112
00:58:21,999 --> 00:58:23,626
Move it! Move it!

1113
00:58:24,919 --> 00:58:27,254
I guess he had a lot
of laughs stored up.

1114
00:58:27,338 --> 00:58:29,215
He really loves it, sir.

1115
00:58:29,423 --> 00:58:31,759
What's next? Bring me
that list of programs.

1116
00:58:31,842 --> 00:58:33,511
<i>Now?</i>
Yes, now.

1117
00:58:38,641 --> 00:58:39,850
<i>Retire.</i>

1118
00:58:40,976 --> 00:58:42,686
<i>Who'd support
my mother and father?</i>

1119
00:58:44,939 --> 00:58:45,981
Mr. King!

1120
00:58:47,608 --> 00:58:48,984
It's locked!

1121
00:58:50,945 --> 00:58:53,072
Hey! Put up your hands.

1122
00:58:53,948 --> 00:58:56,158
He's dying in there.
We gotta break the glass.
Use your gun.

1123
00:58:56,242 --> 00:58:57,826
Dying?
Use your gun!

1124
00:58:57,910 --> 00:58:58,869
Right.

1125
00:59:02,206 --> 00:59:03,832
I meant shoot it!

1126
00:59:03,916 --> 00:59:04,959
I know that.
You...

1127
00:59:05,042 --> 00:59:07,044
Give me that.
Give me that.

1128
00:59:07,169 --> 00:59:08,963
Tell you what... Okay.

1129
00:59:11,507 --> 00:59:12,841
What are you...

1130
00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:18,347
<i>Thank you very much.</i>

1131
00:59:18,430 --> 00:59:20,182
I'm out of bullets.
Go get Cross, will you?

1132
00:59:20,266 --> 00:59:22,101
Quick, get out of here.

1133
00:59:26,939 --> 00:59:28,232
Mr. King.

1134
00:59:30,401 --> 00:59:32,319
Henderson.
Yes.

1135
00:59:32,403 --> 00:59:36,865
Those jokes stink!

1136
00:59:47,376 --> 00:59:48,377
Mr. King.

1137
00:59:49,878 --> 00:59:51,005
Mr. King!

1138
01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:12,610
He's dead, Lieutenant.

1139
01:00:12,735 --> 01:00:14,278
It must be nitrous oxide.

1140
01:00:14,361 --> 01:00:15,779
Laughing gas.

1141
01:00:15,863 --> 01:00:19,199
Get a doctor, Mahoney.
Wipe that smile
from off your face.

1142
01:00:19,283 --> 01:00:20,743
This is murder.

1143
01:00:23,537 --> 01:00:25,039
Cuff him, boys.

1144
01:00:26,332 --> 01:00:28,959
Okay, Henderson,
no more funny stuff.

1145
01:00:29,043 --> 01:00:30,836
It's the gas, Lieutenant.

1146
01:00:30,919 --> 01:00:33,172
The laughing caves
in your windpipe.

1147
01:00:33,297 --> 01:00:35,466
It's a long, painful,
ugly way to die.

1148
01:00:36,675 --> 01:00:38,260
Put a lid on it, Henderson.

1149
01:00:38,344 --> 01:00:42,097
Murder may be a big joke
to you, but not to me

1150
01:00:42,181 --> 01:00:43,807
and not to my men.

1151
01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:50,356
We'll probably get the chair.

1152
01:00:54,151 --> 01:00:55,402
Deirdre.

1153
01:00:55,986 --> 01:00:57,821
Get him! Get him! Get him!

1154
01:00:57,905 --> 01:01:00,574
Where's Penny?
She's with the General.

1155
01:01:02,910 --> 01:01:04,620
Tell her I love her.

1156
01:01:08,624 --> 01:01:11,335
General, Roger Henderson
just killed Bernie King.

1157
01:01:11,418 --> 01:01:12,878
That's ridiculous.

1158
01:01:12,961 --> 01:01:14,922
We caught him
red-handed, miss.

1159
01:01:15,005 --> 01:01:17,883
He can't be dead.
He's our biggest sponsor.

1160
01:01:17,966 --> 01:01:20,552
Not that it wouldn't be
a tragedy if he wasn't.

1161
01:01:20,636 --> 01:01:22,596
Henderson, let's march.

1162
01:01:22,805 --> 01:01:25,891
General, I really think
you better stay up here.

1163
01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:28,394
I don't take orders
from sergeants.

1164
01:01:28,477 --> 01:01:30,312
Men, I understand
the gravity of the situation.

1165
01:01:30,396 --> 01:01:33,565
I will treat every step
as if it could be my last.

1166
01:01:40,698 --> 01:01:41,907
Oh, dear.

1167
01:01:42,324 --> 01:01:43,659
Oh, my gosh.

1168
01:01:44,702 --> 01:01:46,328
No time to faint.

1169
01:01:48,288 --> 01:01:50,582
The first thing
I want to know is...
Lieutenant!

1170
01:01:50,666 --> 01:01:53,419
The General's been murdered.
I knew it!

1171
01:01:54,002 --> 01:01:56,338
I mean,
I didn't really know it.

1172
01:01:56,588 --> 01:01:58,507
How could I? Really?

1173
01:02:00,551 --> 01:02:02,845
<i>Look out?
What does that mean?</i>

1174
01:02:03,721 --> 01:02:05,264
<i>You scoundrel.
Take that. Take that.</i>

1175
01:02:05,347 --> 01:02:06,765
<i>Sic him, lads!</i>

1176
01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:13,397
- I have to go to the powder room.
<i>- Great timbers.</i>

1177
01:02:19,903 --> 01:02:22,156
<i>Well, I wonder
where he came from.</i>

1178
01:02:22,239 --> 01:02:23,323
<i>Where am I?</i>

1179
01:02:23,407 --> 01:02:26,326
<i>Don't worry, young lady,
you're safe now.</i>

1180
01:02:26,410 --> 01:02:28,203
<i>Oh, thank you...</i>

1181
01:02:28,495 --> 01:02:30,289
I just can't believe it.

1182
01:02:30,372 --> 01:02:34,543
One minute, he's standing
right next to me.
And the next minute, whoosh!

1183
01:02:35,252 --> 01:02:37,379
Hey, Lieutenant. Lieutenant.

1184
01:02:38,338 --> 01:02:40,340
Look at these scratches.

1185
01:02:41,341 --> 01:02:43,218
Something was tampering
with the controls.

1186
01:02:43,302 --> 01:02:44,678
What's this?

1187
01:02:46,847 --> 01:02:50,476
<i>Thank you, Jack.
That was the bravest
rescue I've ever seen.</i>

1188
01:02:50,684 --> 01:02:53,061
<i>I don't have time
for fear, ma'am.</i>

1189
01:02:53,187 --> 01:02:57,107
<i>That's why they call me
Jack Granite, man's man.</i>

1190
01:02:59,777 --> 01:03:01,153
This is a nightmare, Max.

1191
01:03:01,236 --> 01:03:04,323
I know we're all
a little bit jumpy right now.

1192
01:03:04,406 --> 01:03:06,033
Could Roger have...

1193
01:03:06,408 --> 01:03:07,868
Why?
Well...

1194
01:03:07,951 --> 01:03:09,453
It doesn't make sense.
No.

1195
01:03:09,536 --> 01:03:10,788
I'm gonna go talk to him.

1196
01:03:10,871 --> 01:03:11,914
<i>Really?</i>

1197
01:03:11,997 --> 01:03:14,500
Look, I have a new lead.

1198
01:03:15,209 --> 01:03:17,085
Well, so do we.
What?

1199
01:03:17,169 --> 01:03:18,587
Believe this belongs to you.

1200
01:03:18,670 --> 01:03:20,422
Found it at the bottom
of the elevator shaft

1201
01:03:20,506 --> 01:03:22,216
where the controls
were tampered with.

1202
01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:23,550
No, I'm...

1203
01:03:24,551 --> 01:03:26,595
I must have dropped it
somewhere, you know?

1204
01:03:26,678 --> 01:03:29,014
Really? Maybe you
dropped this, too, huh?

1205
01:03:29,097 --> 01:03:31,141
Found it clutched
in Walt Whalen Junior's hand.

1206
01:03:31,225 --> 01:03:33,727
Looks like he grabbed it
from somebody just before
he got hung.

1207
01:03:33,811 --> 01:03:36,980
No, now, hold it.
I've seen that knife
before and I...

1208
01:03:37,272 --> 01:03:39,066
Where the hell
have I seen it?

1209
01:03:39,149 --> 01:03:40,317
Roger.

1210
01:03:40,692 --> 01:03:41,902
Penny!

1211
01:03:42,736 --> 01:03:46,073
No, no, it's all right.
It's all right. Go ahead.

1212
01:03:47,199 --> 01:03:49,660
Penny.
What in the world
is going on, Roger?

1213
01:03:49,743 --> 01:03:51,620
What?
Tell me something.
Tell me anything.

1214
01:03:51,703 --> 01:03:54,998
Look, I didn't do anything.
You gotta try harder.

1215
01:03:55,624 --> 01:03:57,793
I didn't do anything!

1216
01:03:58,085 --> 01:03:59,336
Penny, please,
I'm begging you.

1217
01:03:59,419 --> 01:04:01,004
You have to believe me.
Nobody else will.

1218
01:04:01,088 --> 01:04:04,842
I didn't kill anybody.
But I'm very close to
figuring out who did. Okay?

1219
01:04:04,925 --> 01:04:06,468
Who did it then?

1220
01:04:07,135 --> 01:04:09,137
Okay. Okay.

1221
01:04:10,722 --> 01:04:14,601
I'm not sure. But it involves
an FCC scandal and a merger

1222
01:04:14,685 --> 01:04:17,896
and radio station WOWA
in Peoria.

1223
01:04:17,980 --> 01:04:19,982
Three strikes
and you're out, Houdini.

1224
01:04:20,065 --> 01:04:21,817
We're gonna be leaving now,
Mrs. Henderson.

1225
01:04:21,900 --> 01:04:24,069
You can tell your crew
it's finally over.

1226
01:04:24,152 --> 01:04:25,904
But...
You're a writer, Henderson.

1227
01:04:25,988 --> 01:04:27,573
Time for you to
write something for me.

1228
01:04:27,656 --> 01:04:28,657
What?

1229
01:04:29,157 --> 01:04:30,576
A confession.

1230
01:04:33,203 --> 01:04:34,705
I killed them.

1231
01:04:35,956 --> 01:04:39,251
Yes. Yes. I killed them all.

1232
01:04:41,211 --> 01:04:42,546
Why'd you do it, kid?

1233
01:04:42,629 --> 01:04:45,716
Why? You wanna know why?

1234
01:04:46,550 --> 01:04:48,927
Because I hate
doing rewrites!

1235
01:04:49,428 --> 01:04:50,554
Watch out!

1236
01:04:52,639 --> 01:04:53,974
All right.

1237
01:04:54,057 --> 01:04:55,517
Stand back, men.
Give him room.

1238
01:04:55,601 --> 01:04:59,646
Rewrites! Polishes! Gags!
I mean, they always
want more gags.

1239
01:04:59,730 --> 01:05:01,356
And then they
read them wrong, anyway!

1240
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:04,234
They all laughed at me.
I'm just the writer.

1241
01:05:04,526 --> 01:05:06,528
They thought
they were better than me,
but they weren't!

1242
01:05:06,612 --> 01:05:08,822
They're just cockroaches!

1243
01:05:08,906 --> 01:05:10,365
And what do you do
with cockroaches?

1244
01:05:10,449 --> 01:05:13,535
You squash them,
squash them, squash them,
squash them, squash them!

1245
01:05:14,786 --> 01:05:15,996
And you think that's all?

1246
01:05:16,079 --> 01:05:18,206
No, no, no.
I've killed dozens.

1247
01:05:18,332 --> 01:05:21,043
I've got names, dates,
all the evidence
you could possibly want.

1248
01:05:21,126 --> 01:05:22,294
Where?

1249
01:05:23,128 --> 01:05:25,130
Upstairs in my desk.

1250
01:05:25,213 --> 01:05:27,007
All right.
All right, now.

1251
01:05:27,174 --> 01:05:30,302
Take it easy. Take it easy.
Calm down. Calm down.

1252
01:05:30,510 --> 01:05:34,306
We're gonna go upstairs,
we're gonna have
a nice little talk.

1253
01:06:17,808 --> 01:06:19,726
Penny, are you all right?

1254
01:06:20,268 --> 01:06:22,646
Everything's
falling apart, Max.

1255
01:06:23,689 --> 01:06:25,482
People dying.

1256
01:06:25,899 --> 01:06:28,276
Roger being
arrested for murder.

1257
01:06:29,695 --> 01:06:31,571
I just can't believe it.

1258
01:06:32,072 --> 01:06:33,365
I mean, the second I met him,

1259
01:06:33,448 --> 01:06:36,284
it was like he'd been there
my whole life.

1260
01:06:38,453 --> 01:06:41,623
Right from the start.
It's like, I don't know...

1261
01:06:42,874 --> 01:06:44,960
An old sweater or something.

1262
01:06:45,335 --> 01:06:47,504
You know?

1263
01:06:47,629 --> 01:06:49,756
Warm and comfortable
and familiar.

1264
01:06:51,466 --> 01:06:53,051
We met for lunch,

1265
01:06:55,262 --> 01:06:58,807
and we were best friends
before they could take
our order.

1266
01:06:58,890 --> 01:07:01,351
It was like we had
so much in common.

1267
01:07:01,810 --> 01:07:03,979
We laughed
at the same things.

1268
01:07:04,062 --> 01:07:06,440
We thought about
the same things.

1269
01:07:09,568 --> 01:07:11,611
I don't know what to think.

1270
01:07:11,695 --> 01:07:13,071
I thought I knew him.

1271
01:07:13,155 --> 01:07:15,490
I couldn't have been
that wrong about him.
Could I?

1272
01:07:15,574 --> 01:07:16,908
You want a straight answer?

1273
01:07:18,118 --> 01:07:19,703
No. Yes.

1274
01:07:20,037 --> 01:07:24,458
Penny, now, you know
that Roger is not
a maniac killer.

1275
01:07:24,541 --> 01:07:29,046
Roger is not organized enough
to order dinner,
let alone plan six murders.

1276
01:07:29,129 --> 01:07:32,049
And as for Claudette,
oh, come on.
I saw them...

1277
01:07:32,132 --> 01:07:33,592
No, what you saw
was a crazy woman

1278
01:07:33,675 --> 01:07:36,511
throwing herself
at an innocent bystander.

1279
01:07:39,431 --> 01:07:41,850
Number one, Roger loves you.

1280
01:07:42,517 --> 01:07:45,937
Number two, Claudette has
tried to jump on every man
in this building

1281
01:07:46,021 --> 01:07:48,940
at one time or another.
Believe me.

1282
01:07:53,153 --> 01:07:55,447
Smart of you,
cooperating with the police.

1283
01:07:55,530 --> 01:07:57,574
It'll look good in court.

1284
01:07:58,075 --> 01:08:00,410
Come on, son. Be a man.

1285
01:08:01,453 --> 01:08:03,497
Okay.
That's it.

1286
01:08:09,878 --> 01:08:10,962
Paychecks!

1287
01:08:11,046 --> 01:08:13,507
Paychecks!
Paychecks, everybody!

1288
01:08:14,007 --> 01:08:16,676
Stand back!
Don't interfere!

1289
01:08:17,094 --> 01:08:19,554
This man just
confessed to murder!

1290
01:08:19,638 --> 01:08:21,723
Where's my overtime?

1291
01:08:21,807 --> 01:08:23,975
You'll never take me alive,
coppers. Never!

1292
01:08:24,059 --> 01:08:25,811
Don't jump or I'll shoot!

1293
01:08:25,936 --> 01:08:26,978
I...

1294
01:08:33,318 --> 01:08:34,653
Don't look.

1295
01:08:37,364 --> 01:08:38,782
Kid's lost it.

1296
01:08:39,407 --> 01:08:41,660
Go downstairs.
Find what's left of him.

1297
01:08:41,743 --> 01:08:43,453
Yes, sir. Let's go.

1298
01:08:43,537 --> 01:08:45,539
What a bunch of nimrods.

1299
01:09:13,942 --> 01:09:15,527
Let's find him.

1300
01:09:15,902 --> 01:09:17,237
Where the hell is he?

1301
01:09:17,362 --> 01:09:18,697
I don't see him.

1302
01:09:27,247 --> 01:09:28,748
Oh, there he is! Up there!

1303
01:09:28,874 --> 01:09:30,417
Stop or we'll shoot!

1304
01:09:33,753 --> 01:09:35,338
He's got a gun.
A gun?

1305
01:09:35,422 --> 01:09:36,756
Now we'll never
get our money.

1306
01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:39,259
- Hey!
- Give up, kid!

1307
01:09:43,471 --> 01:09:46,099
Hold your fire.
I'm gonna get the Lieutenant.

1308
01:09:54,608 --> 01:09:56,568
Jump, Roger, jump!

1309
01:09:58,612 --> 01:10:00,447
Atta baby, go!

1310
01:10:09,873 --> 01:10:11,750
Hey, stay where you are!

1311
01:10:21,384 --> 01:10:24,471
Max, I'm getting
some voltage
fluctuation here.

1312
01:10:31,603 --> 01:10:33,355
Oh, God.

1313
01:10:50,038 --> 01:10:51,623
This guy's good.

1314
01:11:07,973 --> 01:11:10,100
I can't believe I did that.

1315
01:11:10,267 --> 01:11:13,061
Hey, did you hear?
Mr. H escaped!

1316
01:11:13,853 --> 01:11:15,647
Search the room, lads.

1317
01:11:15,730 --> 01:11:16,940
Over here. Come on.

1318
01:11:19,317 --> 01:11:20,944
He's not here, sir.

1319
01:11:21,361 --> 01:11:23,488
Call headquarters
and get more men up here.

1320
01:11:23,571 --> 01:11:27,325
We're gonna have to
search every square inch
of this building.

1321
01:11:27,409 --> 01:11:29,119
He's got a gun, sir.

1322
01:11:29,452 --> 01:11:30,912
Shoot to kill.

1323
01:11:33,707 --> 01:11:35,292
So you have to realize that

1324
01:11:35,375 --> 01:11:37,210
there's a lot of work
that really goes
into a radio station...

1325
01:11:37,294 --> 01:11:38,545
Excuse me, young man.
Excuse me.

1326
01:11:38,628 --> 01:11:40,964
Yes, killer penguin,
Studio 10.

1327
01:11:41,047 --> 01:11:44,592
Mrs. Henderson
dropped these papers.
They may be important.

1328
01:11:44,676 --> 01:11:46,177
Oh, yeah, sure.
I'll get them to her
for you.

1329
01:11:46,261 --> 01:11:49,264
See, you gotta understand
they let me in the booth
anytime I want.

1330
01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:52,976
Hello.

1331
01:11:53,059 --> 01:11:57,439
<i>Where you can pop, pop, pop
your troubles away.</i>

1332
01:11:57,564 --> 01:11:59,607
<i>Slide in, relax.</i>

1333
01:11:59,733 --> 01:12:02,485
<i>And remember,
even a busy modern gal</i>

1334
01:12:02,569 --> 01:12:05,238
<i>needs to be squeaky clean
for her man.</i>

1335
01:12:05,864 --> 01:12:07,365
Penny? Penny.

1336
01:12:08,199 --> 01:12:10,160
Oh, cue the band. Cue Anna.

1337
01:12:10,285 --> 01:12:12,287
<i>Cue band. Anna, go.</i>

1338
01:12:12,370 --> 01:12:15,749
Miss Henderson,
some penguin told me
you dropped this.

1339
01:12:23,882 --> 01:12:26,343
You know, I heard that they have
orders to shoot Mr. H on sight.

1340
01:12:26,426 --> 01:12:27,635
That's crazy.

1341
01:12:27,719 --> 01:12:29,721
Can you live without me
for a few minutes, Max?

1342
01:12:29,804 --> 01:12:31,806
Sure. Penny, be careful.

1343
01:12:31,890 --> 01:12:33,850
Remember, there's a killer
loose out there.

1344
01:12:37,062 --> 01:12:38,271
Billy.

1345
01:13:14,974 --> 01:13:18,019
Don't scream. Don't scream.
Don't scream. It's me.

1346
01:13:18,103 --> 01:13:19,187
Roger?

1347
01:13:21,022 --> 01:13:22,649
Take my head off.

1348
01:13:24,234 --> 01:13:26,111
What in the sam hill...

1349
01:13:26,319 --> 01:13:28,029
Are you completely
out of your mind?

1350
01:13:28,113 --> 01:13:31,074
Okay, okay,
so I'm suspected
of six grisly murders.

1351
01:13:31,157 --> 01:13:32,200
There's no reason
not to be civil.

1352
01:13:32,283 --> 01:13:34,661
Lieutenant Cross has
his men everywhere.
They're looking for you.

1353
01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:36,704
We shouldn't even be
up here.
I know. I know, Penny.

1354
01:13:36,788 --> 01:13:41,292
I had to talk to you before,
you know, something happened.

1355
01:13:42,669 --> 01:13:45,004
Are you cold?
I brought your scarf.

1356
01:13:45,088 --> 01:13:47,340
No, no, no.

1357
01:13:47,424 --> 01:13:49,634
You know, penguins,
we're used to it.

1358
01:13:52,053 --> 01:13:53,054
I think...
I think...

1359
01:13:53,138 --> 01:13:54,264
No, you go first.
You go first.

1360
01:13:54,347 --> 01:13:55,557
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

1361
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:57,475
We're talking
at the same time.

1362
01:13:57,559 --> 01:13:59,436
Married people do that.

1363
01:13:59,727 --> 01:14:01,938
Penny. Penny.

1364
01:14:03,273 --> 01:14:05,150
You remember our
first time up here?
Yes.

1365
01:14:05,233 --> 01:14:08,111
Remember when
we sneaked up here,
we brought that champagne?

1366
01:14:08,194 --> 01:14:09,654
We stared up at that tower,

1367
01:14:09,737 --> 01:14:11,197
and we figured out
how we could talk

1368
01:14:11,281 --> 01:14:13,992
to the whole world
through radio, you know.

1369
01:14:18,329 --> 01:14:20,123
You know, take the people
anywhere we wanted.

1370
01:14:20,206 --> 01:14:21,207
Yeah.

1371
01:14:21,291 --> 01:14:23,877
I don't know if you even
believe I'm innocent.

1372
01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:25,962
But I love you.

1373
01:14:26,463 --> 01:14:27,547
I do.

1374
01:14:29,007 --> 01:14:30,425
I better go.

1375
01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:32,260
Your head.

1376
01:14:33,303 --> 01:14:35,430
Don't lose your head.
Oh.

1377
01:14:36,181 --> 01:14:38,475
Roger,
what are you gonna do?

1378
01:14:38,683 --> 01:14:40,894
I'm gonna break
into the file room.
What?

1379
01:14:40,977 --> 01:14:42,937
No, no, no.
Penny, come on.
Listen to me.

1380
01:14:43,021 --> 01:14:45,857
All the victims were
involved in something
over at WOWA.

1381
01:14:45,940 --> 01:14:48,026
I'm gonna get to the bottom
of this bucket of clams.

1382
01:14:48,109 --> 01:14:49,235
Roger,

1383
01:14:51,988 --> 01:14:54,073
I'll get you the key
to the file room.

1384
01:14:54,157 --> 01:14:55,825
No.
Why not?

1385
01:14:55,909 --> 01:14:58,328
No. Penny, no.
This is murder, and I don't
want you involved,

1386
01:14:58,411 --> 01:14:59,913
you know,
when I do get caught.

1387
01:14:59,996 --> 01:15:01,289
Okay, penguin, hands up!

1388
01:15:01,372 --> 01:15:03,583
Which is right now.
Don't shoot!

1389
01:15:04,375 --> 01:15:06,503
He's got a gun!
What are you talking about?

1390
01:15:06,586 --> 01:15:09,464
I don't have a gun.
Yes, you do.
I'm his hostage.

1391
01:15:09,547 --> 01:15:11,841
No. Oh, my hostage!

1392
01:15:11,966 --> 01:15:13,635
Of course you are.
Now, stay back!

1393
01:15:13,718 --> 01:15:16,262
Stay back, I tell you,
or we'll both go over.

1394
01:15:16,346 --> 01:15:17,388
No!

1395
01:15:17,639 --> 01:15:19,891
Now, let's just
put that gun down.
Put it down!

1396
01:15:19,974 --> 01:15:21,392
I'm putting it down.
I'm putting it down.

1397
01:15:21,476 --> 01:15:23,478
Put your hands up.
Put your hands up.
Yeah.

1398
01:15:23,561 --> 01:15:27,440
And throw that gun over here.
Come on, throw it over here!

1399
01:15:31,152 --> 01:15:32,153
Stay back!

1400
01:15:32,237 --> 01:15:33,780
Stay back, cop,
or I'll let her have it.

1401
01:15:33,863 --> 01:15:35,365
I'll let her have it.
I'll hurt her.

1402
01:15:35,448 --> 01:15:37,825
Okay, okay.
So, now I'm involved. See?

1403
01:15:37,909 --> 01:15:39,869
Fiftieth floor,
maintenance closet,
10 minutes.

1404
01:15:44,290 --> 01:15:46,042
We don't have to
rewrite this script.

1405
01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:49,045
King's dead!

1406
01:15:49,671 --> 01:15:51,589
Is that okay with you, Jules?

1407
01:15:52,757 --> 01:15:53,967
He seems to be okay with it.

1408
01:16:03,810 --> 01:16:05,353
I want you to
start up on the roof

1409
01:16:05,436 --> 01:16:06,854
and work your way
down floor by floor.

1410
01:16:06,938 --> 01:16:09,274
He's wearing
a penguin suit.
Well, get going.

1411
01:16:09,357 --> 01:16:10,900
A penguin shouldn't be
hard to spot.

1412
01:16:11,025 --> 01:16:12,569
Right, sir.

1413
01:16:17,907 --> 01:16:20,827
<i>Billy Budget, report to the
control booth immediately.</i>

1414
01:16:20,910 --> 01:16:22,287
<i>Billy, report to
the control booth.</i>

1415
01:16:22,370 --> 01:16:24,205
<i>Wait a minute, that's me.</i>
Now!

1416
01:16:32,338 --> 01:16:34,215
You called, Miss Henderson?
Don't move!

1417
01:16:34,299 --> 01:16:36,426
Don't shoot!
Please, he's one of us.

1418
01:16:36,509 --> 01:16:37,594
Please.

1419
01:16:37,719 --> 01:16:38,720
Billy...

1420
01:16:38,803 --> 01:16:42,682
<i>That concludes tonight's
presentation of</i> Sentimental Whispers.

1421
01:16:52,317 --> 01:16:55,111
I'd love to know
whose idea this was.
I could kill him.

1422
01:16:55,194 --> 01:16:56,613
Get this to the top writer.

1423
01:16:56,696 --> 01:16:58,114
Jules? He's out cold.

1424
01:16:58,197 --> 01:17:00,533
Our best writer.
But that's Mr...

1425
01:17:00,908 --> 01:17:04,996
Oh! Yeah, sure. You got it.

1426
01:17:05,538 --> 01:17:06,831
Keep up the good work,
fellas.

1427
01:17:06,914 --> 01:17:09,834
You know,
I was thinking about...
Now!

1428
01:17:10,460 --> 01:17:12,086
Mr. H! Mr. H!

1429
01:17:12,170 --> 01:17:14,422
Hey, Mr. H! Wait a minute!

1430
01:17:20,887 --> 01:17:22,055
Billy!

1431
01:17:34,692 --> 01:17:36,986
Get back here!
Billy?

1432
01:17:40,948 --> 01:17:42,116
Where the hell is he?

1433
01:18:10,144 --> 01:18:11,270
Conchita.

1434
01:18:11,396 --> 01:18:13,731
You know,
I was looking for a penguin,

1435
01:18:14,232 --> 01:18:16,401
but I guess I got
a couple of minutes.

1436
01:18:16,484 --> 01:18:18,861
It's me, you chowder-head.
What are you doing here?

1437
01:18:18,945 --> 01:18:22,073
Geez Louise,
Mr. H! It's you!

1438
01:18:22,573 --> 01:18:24,117
You sure got
some great melons.

1439
01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:26,035
Sorry, just trying to lighten
a serious situation.

1440
01:18:26,119 --> 01:18:27,620
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where's Penny?

1441
01:18:27,704 --> 01:18:29,288
The cops are on her
like red on an apple.

1442
01:18:29,372 --> 01:18:31,541
She sent me
to give you this.

1443
01:18:33,876 --> 01:18:35,253
She's a pip.

1444
01:18:35,336 --> 01:18:36,921
Nice work, kid.
Keep your nose clean.

1445
01:18:37,004 --> 01:18:38,423
Don't tell anyone
you've seen me. Now beat it.

1446
01:18:38,506 --> 01:18:40,425
Well, golly, Mr. H?
Can't I stay with you?

1447
01:18:40,508 --> 01:18:41,884
No.
Help you on your quest

1448
01:18:41,968 --> 01:18:44,387
to right this terrible wrong?
I mean, every hero
needs a little sidekick.

1449
01:18:44,470 --> 01:18:46,764
No, no. I'm no hero.

1450
01:18:46,848 --> 01:18:49,434
Well, sure you are.
No, no, I'm not.

1451
01:18:49,517 --> 01:18:51,018
Sure you are.
Knock it off!

1452
01:18:51,102 --> 01:18:52,603
Sorry. Come on,
the way you've been

1453
01:18:52,687 --> 01:18:54,147
fighting back
when the chips are down,

1454
01:18:54,230 --> 01:18:56,274
for your life,
your best gal.

1455
01:18:56,357 --> 01:18:59,360
To a young person
like myself, desperately
in need of a role model,

1456
01:18:59,444 --> 01:19:01,571
you're an inspiration.

1457
01:19:02,697 --> 01:19:03,906
Maybe you're right. Let's go.

1458
01:19:03,990 --> 01:19:06,743
This is great.
The spotlight of justice
has fallen on me.

1459
01:19:06,826 --> 01:19:09,412
And together,
we will thwart the dastardly
minions of crime.

1460
01:19:09,495 --> 01:19:12,623
Oh, can it, will you, kid?
Nobody talks like that
in real life.

1461
01:19:12,707 --> 01:19:15,126
Got you, boss.
Let's cut the ham out
of the club sandwich.

1462
01:19:15,209 --> 01:19:17,378
What's the skinny, <i>compadre?</i>

1463
01:19:17,670 --> 01:19:19,005
Come here.

1464
01:19:29,974 --> 01:19:31,684
What are you doing?

1465
01:19:37,523 --> 01:19:40,067
<i>Tonight on</i> Ungawa,
the Jungle Boy,

1466
01:19:40,151 --> 01:19:42,487
<i>can Ungawa save
Dr. Ashton-Reeves,</i>

1467
01:19:42,570 --> 01:19:44,572
<i>his trusted
English benefactor,</i>

1468
01:19:44,655 --> 01:19:47,825
<i>when they are outnumbered
by a hair-raising horde</i>

1469
01:19:47,909 --> 01:19:50,161
<i>of horrible headhunters?</i>

1470
01:19:51,245 --> 01:19:52,622
<i>I say, old chap.</i>

1471
01:19:52,705 --> 01:19:55,082
<i>Appears to be a bit of
a sticky wicket ahead.</i>

1472
01:20:02,381 --> 01:20:04,592
<i>Easy for you to say, eh?
What?</i>

1473
01:20:09,138 --> 01:20:11,599
<i>So, this is the tomb
of Anarkali.</i>

1474
01:20:11,682 --> 01:20:14,477
<i>It's too dark in here.
I can't see a thing.</i>

1475
01:20:14,602 --> 01:20:17,271
<i>I know it's in here.
It has no shape, no body.</i>

1476
01:20:17,355 --> 01:20:20,399
<i>It wants to do to us,
what it did to Dr. Anton
when he opened the tomb.</i>

1477
01:20:21,776 --> 01:20:24,153
<i>It's here! It's ripping
the skin off my body!</i>

1478
01:20:24,237 --> 01:20:25,905
<i>Help me, Reginald, please!</i>

1479
01:20:29,158 --> 01:20:30,451
Hold this.

1480
01:20:30,535 --> 01:20:31,744
<i>Please!</i>

1481
01:20:32,161 --> 01:20:33,704
Jeepers, Mr. H,

1482
01:20:33,788 --> 01:20:35,206
you sure we're doing
the right thing here?

1483
01:20:35,289 --> 01:20:37,792
Oh, take it easy, kid.
Look, how long have we
known each other anyway?

1484
01:20:37,875 --> 01:20:40,670
Six days.
Exactly.
There's a bond there.

1485
01:20:41,754 --> 01:20:42,964
Wait a minute.

1486
01:20:44,173 --> 01:20:45,800
"Miscellaneous."

1487
01:20:46,175 --> 01:20:47,969
Found it!

1488
01:20:50,471 --> 01:20:54,600
WOWA list of employees.
FCC scandal.

1489
01:20:54,684 --> 01:20:57,061
Where's the light switch?
I'll get it.

1490
01:21:06,445 --> 01:21:07,572
What's in here?

1491
01:21:07,655 --> 01:21:09,615
That's the file room.
It's locked.

1492
01:21:23,963 --> 01:21:27,008
It was the killer.
I saw him. He was...

1493
01:21:27,717 --> 01:21:29,010
Horrible!

1494
01:21:29,635 --> 01:21:31,470
He was a tall guy and

1495
01:21:32,221 --> 01:21:33,681
short, too.

1496
01:21:34,140 --> 01:21:36,726
And he was wearing
this really nice suit.

1497
01:21:36,809 --> 01:21:38,144
Though it was kind of shabby.

1498
01:21:38,227 --> 01:21:41,105
And he had blackish,
brownish,

1499
01:21:41,230 --> 01:21:43,441
reddish, blondish,
kind of, whitish hair.

1500
01:21:43,524 --> 01:21:47,695
And he definitely
went downstairs,
or maybe it was up.

1501
01:21:50,197 --> 01:21:51,532
Busy, busy.

1502
01:21:58,205 --> 01:21:59,290
Uh-huh.

1503
01:21:59,373 --> 01:22:01,626
All right. Perfect!

1504
01:22:01,709 --> 01:22:02,919
I don't know
what happened to Billy.

1505
01:22:03,002 --> 01:22:04,921
Ten minutes to the last show,
we don't have a script.

1506
01:22:05,004 --> 01:22:06,797
And this differs
from the other six times

1507
01:22:06,881 --> 01:22:08,841
this has happened tonight
in what way, exactly?

1508
01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:11,010
The writers have
left the building.
Good answer.

1509
01:22:27,443 --> 01:22:28,903
I don't get it.

1510
01:22:29,070 --> 01:22:30,821
It's gotta be somebody
who's still alive.

1511
01:22:30,905 --> 01:22:32,573
Wait a minute.

1512
01:22:34,158 --> 01:22:36,702
He's the one! Ssh.

1513
01:22:38,204 --> 01:22:40,498
That's where
I saw that knife.

1514
01:22:40,873 --> 01:22:42,541
I can't believe it.

1515
01:22:42,750 --> 01:22:45,586
I can't believe it.
I mean, like, why him?

1516
01:22:46,671 --> 01:22:50,424
How am I gonna
tell anybody without getting
filled full of lead?

1517
01:22:50,508 --> 01:22:53,052
Gork: Son of Fire!

1518
01:22:53,135 --> 01:22:55,429
Yeah, I'll get to it.
I'll get to it.

1519
01:22:56,138 --> 01:22:58,849
That script's
not finished yet.

1520
01:23:29,630 --> 01:23:32,425
Look, he almost killed
someone else up on the roof.

1521
01:23:32,508 --> 01:23:35,803
I don't give a rat's behind
where you pull them from!

1522
01:23:35,886 --> 01:23:38,222
I want at least two more
squads up here.

1523
01:23:38,305 --> 01:23:41,100
With tear gas,
riot guns and dogs!

1524
01:23:41,225 --> 01:23:42,810
Roger hates dogs.

1525
01:23:43,269 --> 01:23:44,520
All right,

1526
01:23:44,603 --> 01:23:48,024
little lady,
I got one question for you.

1527
01:23:48,607 --> 01:23:51,861
What exactly were you
doing up on that roof
in the first place?

1528
01:23:51,944 --> 01:23:53,404
Doing? Me?

1529
01:23:53,988 --> 01:23:56,115
I was just getting
a little fresh air.

1530
01:24:10,963 --> 01:24:12,798
Hey, do you hear something?
Yeah.

1531
01:24:22,141 --> 01:24:24,351
He's on a ledge
outside Rehearsal Room 3.

1532
01:24:24,435 --> 01:24:28,064
Let's go. I don't
want him falling again
unless I push him.

1533
01:24:28,606 --> 01:24:30,483
Attention, all personnel.

1534
01:24:30,566 --> 01:24:32,151
<i>Attention. The police
have located the killer.</i>

1535
01:24:32,234 --> 01:24:33,444
<i>I repeat,
they've located the killer.</i>

1536
01:24:33,527 --> 01:24:34,820
What does she think
she's doing?

1537
01:24:34,904 --> 01:24:36,447
<i>They've cordoned off
Rehearsal Room number 3.</i>

1538
01:24:36,530 --> 01:24:37,698
Thanks, kiddo.

1539
01:24:37,782 --> 01:24:39,658
<i>We can all relax now
and get back to work.</i>

1540
01:24:39,742 --> 01:24:41,368
All right!

1541
01:24:44,705 --> 01:24:47,833
<i>In a moment,</i>
Gork: Son of Fire,

1542
01:24:47,917 --> 01:24:49,460
<i>after this.</i>

1543
01:24:51,170 --> 01:24:52,671
Control booth.

1544
01:24:54,340 --> 01:24:56,467
Billy, it's for you.

1545
01:24:56,967 --> 01:24:59,136
Me? A phone call
for me, here?

1546
01:25:00,012 --> 01:25:02,515
Well, it must be
pretty important.

1547
01:25:02,973 --> 01:25:04,391
Hello, Billy Budget here.

1548
01:25:04,475 --> 01:25:06,519
<i>Do you want to help
Roger Henderson?</i>

1549
01:25:06,602 --> 01:25:07,937
Sure. Sure I do.

1550
01:25:08,062 --> 01:25:10,856
<i>Then make contact
with the Latin bongo player</i>

1551
01:25:10,940 --> 01:25:12,858
<i>in the eighth floor
broom closet.</i>

1552
01:25:12,942 --> 01:25:14,568
Gotcha. I'm on it.

1553
01:25:16,070 --> 01:25:19,198
Well, who was it?
It was, <i>The Tribune.</i>

1554
01:25:19,740 --> 01:25:22,243
They want to sell me
a subscription.

1555
01:25:23,369 --> 01:25:25,371
I'm gonna think about it.

1556
01:25:49,436 --> 01:25:52,731
Mr. H! Good disguise.

1557
01:25:52,815 --> 01:25:54,942
Look, you gotta give
these pages to Penny, <i>pronto.</i>

1558
01:25:55,025 --> 01:25:56,443
It's the first part
of the <i>Gork</i> script.

1559
01:25:56,527 --> 01:25:58,279
Tell her I'll finish
the rest as soon as I can.

1560
01:25:58,362 --> 01:25:59,947
Now go.
What a trouper, Mr. H.

1561
01:26:00,030 --> 01:26:03,117
Wanted for murder,
forced to wear a series of
humiliating disguises,

1562
01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:05,870
and you still find time
to do your job.

1563
01:26:06,162 --> 01:26:07,621
I'm a memory.

1564
01:26:10,249 --> 01:26:12,793
<i>...invites you
to go back in time</i>

1565
01:26:12,877 --> 01:26:14,753
<i>a million years,</i>

1566
01:26:14,837 --> 01:26:17,256
<i>to the thrilling
adventures of</i>

1567
01:26:17,339 --> 01:26:19,758
<i>Gork: Son of Fire.</i>
Gork: Son of Fire
has arrived!

1568
01:26:19,842 --> 01:26:21,886
Where'd you get this?
A certain unnamed writer

1569
01:26:21,969 --> 01:26:24,221
who said the rest is
on the way.
Is he okay?

1570
01:26:24,305 --> 01:26:26,056
Well...
Go get this to the actors.

1571
01:26:26,140 --> 01:26:27,766
We're on the air.

1572
01:26:28,100 --> 01:26:29,393
Billy!
Slow down.

1573
01:26:29,476 --> 01:26:32,188
Five bucks says
he makes it in 10 seconds.
You got it.

1574
01:26:32,271 --> 01:26:33,939
Come on, Billy,
come on.

1575
01:26:34,023 --> 01:26:36,442
Who's got my script, huh?
Who's got my script?

1576
01:26:36,525 --> 01:26:38,319
Out of the way!
Out of the way!

1577
01:26:38,402 --> 01:26:39,528
What are we going to do?

1578
01:26:39,612 --> 01:26:41,947
This is crazy.
I can't do this.

1579
01:26:43,574 --> 01:26:45,910
Lines!
Yeah!

1580
01:26:46,577 --> 01:26:47,995
Lost again.

1581
01:26:49,538 --> 01:26:52,166
Gork: Son of Fire!

1582
01:26:54,460 --> 01:26:57,379
<i>Fighting the terrifying
20-ton tyrannosaurus.</i>

1583
01:26:57,504 --> 01:27:00,049
One name stands
out above them all.

1584
01:27:00,466 --> 01:27:03,219
<i>Lightning strikes
as Gork proudly drags home</i>

1585
01:27:03,302 --> 01:27:05,221
<i>a pterodactyl
after his daily hunt.</i>

1586
01:27:05,304 --> 01:27:06,722
<i>Oh, what's this?</i>

1587
01:27:06,805 --> 01:27:08,974
<i>Odd metallic object in cave.</i>

1588
01:27:09,683 --> 01:27:12,353
<i>Not rock. Cold, shiny.</i>

1589
01:27:12,645 --> 01:27:14,939
<i>It have place to sit.
Gork sit.</i>

1590
01:27:18,359 --> 01:27:21,904
<i>It's a time machine,
and Gork has accidentally
activated it.</i>

1591
01:27:22,738 --> 01:27:25,157
<i>The caveman is
transported through</i>

1592
01:27:25,282 --> 01:27:27,701
<i>centuries, hurtling
through eons of time.</i>

1593
01:27:27,993 --> 01:27:29,453
<i>Until he at last</i>

1594
01:27:29,536 --> 01:27:33,123
<i>finds himself standing
in his mastodon robes
and dinosaur headdress</i>

1595
01:27:33,207 --> 01:27:37,044
<i>in the middle of a large
metropolitan radio station.</i>

1596
01:27:38,545 --> 01:27:41,173
What the...
Radio station?

1597
01:27:41,257 --> 01:27:42,716
I don't know what's going on.

1598
01:27:42,800 --> 01:27:43,926
What the hell was
that little announcement

1599
01:27:44,009 --> 01:27:45,427
about, Mrs. Henderson?
Listen!

1600
01:27:45,511 --> 01:27:48,055
<i>Six brutal murders
have been committed
in the station.</i>

1601
01:27:48,138 --> 01:27:51,016
<i>Judging by the offbeat way...
Grok?</i>

1602
01:27:51,100 --> 01:27:52,351
<i>Gork.</i>
Gork

1603
01:27:52,434 --> 01:27:54,061
<i>dresses, I...</i>
It's not making much sense.

1604
01:27:54,144 --> 01:27:56,146
Should I cue in a commercial?
Oh, no. Let it play, Max.

1605
01:27:56,230 --> 01:27:58,274
I think he's trying
to tell us something.
So am I.

1606
01:27:58,357 --> 01:28:00,317
You've just made yourself
an accomplice,
Mrs. Henderson.

1607
01:28:00,401 --> 01:28:01,568
<i>He sure smells
like a dead animal.</i>

1608
01:28:01,652 --> 01:28:02,820
<i>The way I figure,</i>

1609
01:28:02,903 --> 01:28:06,073
<i>anyone who dresses like that
is either a nut or a killer.</i>

1610
01:28:06,156 --> 01:28:07,324
<i>Gork no kill.</i>

1611
01:28:07,408 --> 01:28:09,159
<i>Gork peace-loving caveman.</i>

1612
01:28:09,285 --> 01:28:10,995
<i>Must unmask real killer.</i>

1613
01:28:11,078 --> 01:28:15,457
<i>Clear self. Find way
back to prehistoric wife.
Convince her to stay married.</i>

1614
01:28:15,541 --> 01:28:17,293
Wild guess,
those are Roger's pages?

1615
01:28:17,376 --> 01:28:20,963
<i>Maybe Lieutenant Cross
evolved enough to
listen to truth.</i>

1616
01:28:21,171 --> 01:28:23,173
That's me.
They're talking about me.

1617
01:28:23,299 --> 01:28:25,217
<i>Gork know about crime,
Lieutenant.</i>

1618
01:28:25,301 --> 01:28:26,844
<i>Gork grow up in
rough neighborhood.</i>

1619
01:28:26,969 --> 01:28:28,887
Fifty million people
are hearing my name, huh?

1620
01:28:28,971 --> 01:28:31,098
<i>I hate cavemen almost
as much as I hate</i>

1621
01:28:31,181 --> 01:28:32,975
<i>radio writers
and missing my dinner.</i>

1622
01:28:34,226 --> 01:28:37,313
<i>Gork not sure he have solution
right on tip of fingers</i>

1623
01:28:37,396 --> 01:28:38,689
<i>or tip of tongue</i>

1624
01:28:38,772 --> 01:28:41,150
<i>or on top of head.</i>

1625
01:28:42,401 --> 01:28:44,028
Hey, you!

1626
01:28:44,111 --> 01:28:47,114
<i>Maybe Lieutenant have
a few questions for Gork.</i>

1627
01:28:47,197 --> 01:28:50,492
<i>Questions? No,
I don't have any questions.</i>

1628
01:28:51,952 --> 01:28:53,662
<i>Take it easy.</i>
This is your baby,
Neanderthal.

1629
01:28:53,746 --> 01:28:56,874
<i>Either you know
who the killer is
or you don't.</i>

1630
01:29:02,838 --> 01:29:06,592
<i>It's not like
the answers are suddenly
gonna drop out of the sky.</i>

1631
01:29:11,638 --> 01:29:12,848
That's him!

1632
01:29:14,475 --> 01:29:16,935
Watson, I want
more men backstage.

1633
01:29:18,937 --> 01:29:21,273
<i>A very cluttered
time machine.</i>

1634
01:29:21,607 --> 01:29:23,067
I got it, I got it.
I got it, I got it.

1635
01:29:23,192 --> 01:29:25,277
<i>Gork see photograph
of six victims.</i>

1636
01:29:25,361 --> 01:29:28,822
<i>Gork find link between six
at radio station in Peoria.</i>

1637
01:29:29,490 --> 01:29:31,784
No, no, no.
Get back! Get back!

1638
01:29:31,909 --> 01:29:33,535
<i>Might say, missing link.</i>

1639
01:29:40,292 --> 01:29:41,919
Don't let me die!

1640
01:29:42,669 --> 01:29:44,505
It's him!
The killer!

1641
01:29:44,713 --> 01:29:46,548
Let's get out of here.

1642
01:29:48,133 --> 01:29:50,803
Get me that writer.
Get me that writer.

1643
01:29:55,307 --> 01:29:57,351
You can't stop now.
We're still on the air.

1644
01:29:57,434 --> 01:29:59,561
Billy! Get them back on.

1645
01:30:03,982 --> 01:30:05,567
Max, tell me
that wasn't Roger.

1646
01:30:05,734 --> 01:30:07,319
Okay, that wasn't Roger.

1647
01:30:07,403 --> 01:30:10,614
Come on, get back there.
I'll figure something out.

1648
01:30:13,367 --> 01:30:15,327
<i>So, this all started
with Ruffles,</i>

1649
01:30:15,411 --> 01:30:17,246
<i>who got poisoned
with his own hooch.</i>

1650
01:30:17,329 --> 01:30:19,164
Who's Ruffles?

1651
01:30:19,498 --> 01:30:21,208
Can't you follow anything?

1652
01:30:21,291 --> 01:30:25,170
<i>Next come Walt Junior,
man who wear
animal pelt on head.</i>

1653
01:30:25,254 --> 01:30:27,798
<i>Then useless station manager,
Mr. Katzenback.</i>

1654
01:30:27,881 --> 01:30:30,884
<i>At this point,
it seemed like
a love triangle.</i>

1655
01:30:31,468 --> 01:30:34,555
<i>But then Dexter,
the announcer, was fried
by his microphone.</i>

1656
01:30:34,638 --> 01:30:36,473
<i>That was a cruel one.</i>

1657
01:30:37,474 --> 01:30:39,059
There he is!

1658
01:30:41,353 --> 01:30:46,108
<i>Finally, laughing gas meant
for both General Whalen
and Bernie King.</i>

1659
01:30:46,191 --> 01:30:47,568
What a way to go.

1660
01:30:47,693 --> 01:30:50,821
<i>So, the elevator was
a last-minute change of plan.</i>

1661
01:30:55,451 --> 01:30:57,453
<i>Victims all worked
together before</i>

1662
01:30:57,536 --> 01:30:59,580
<i>along with one more person,</i>

1663
01:30:59,872 --> 01:31:00,998
<i>the killer.</i>

1664
01:31:01,081 --> 01:31:02,875
Don't make me do it!

1665
01:31:09,339 --> 01:31:11,884
<i>Okay, I tell you
who killer is now.</i>

1666
01:31:11,967 --> 01:31:13,719
<i>Only one person had
know-how</i>

1667
01:31:13,802 --> 01:31:15,929
<i>to put mystery
recordings on air</i>

1668
01:31:16,013 --> 01:31:18,474
<i>and pearl-handle pocketknife
he always carry.</i>

1669
01:31:18,557 --> 01:31:21,226
Penny...
He must be going
somewhere with this.

1670
01:31:21,310 --> 01:31:23,312
<i>I point to him with club.</i>

1671
01:31:27,774 --> 01:31:29,193
<i>The killer is</i>

1672
01:31:29,401 --> 01:31:30,903
<i>our sound engineer,</i>

1673
01:31:30,986 --> 01:31:32,738
<i>Max Applewhite.</i>

1674
01:31:34,531 --> 01:31:36,450
I always like
Roger's writing.

1675
01:31:36,742 --> 01:31:38,327
He takes chances.

1676
01:31:39,328 --> 01:31:41,747
You see? You see?
It wasn't me.

1677
01:31:42,080 --> 01:31:43,207
It was Max!

1678
01:31:43,290 --> 01:31:46,293
<i>Of course it's him.
It was Max Applewhite,
clear as a bell.</i>

1679
01:31:46,376 --> 01:31:47,461
Max?

1680
01:31:47,669 --> 01:31:50,797
Wait a minute. Back!
Back to the control booth!

1681
01:31:52,007 --> 01:31:53,800
Who's Max Applewhite?

1682
01:31:53,884 --> 01:31:55,552
Stop it, Max, please.

1683
01:31:55,636 --> 01:31:56,887
No! Stop! No!

1684
01:31:56,970 --> 01:31:58,597
No, stop it!
Max!

1685
01:31:58,680 --> 01:32:02,184
Get out! No.

1686
01:32:02,267 --> 01:32:04,978
- It's Max! He's gone crazy.
- Get out of the way.

1687
01:32:07,147 --> 01:32:09,274
<i>That's right,
it was me, Max Applewhite.</i>

1688
01:32:09,358 --> 01:32:11,735
<i>I killed them all.
I wanted to destroy
the network.</i>

1689
01:32:11,818 --> 01:32:13,153
Destroy the network?
Max, but why?

1690
01:32:13,237 --> 01:32:14,571
<i>Destroy the network?
But why, Max?</i>

1691
01:32:14,655 --> 01:32:16,990
<i>Because those people destroyed me.</i>
Because they destroyed me.

1692
01:32:17,074 --> 01:32:18,200
- How?
<i>- How?</i>

1693
01:32:18,283 --> 01:32:19,993
They were all
stockholders in WOWA

1694
01:32:20,077 --> 01:32:21,161
<i>15 years ago,</i>

1695
01:32:21,245 --> 01:32:22,704
<i>and they all lied to me!</i>

1696
01:32:22,788 --> 01:32:25,874
<i>I could have had the patent.</i>
I could have had the patent,

1697
01:32:25,958 --> 01:32:28,418
but I needed their money
to prove that my ideas worked.

1698
01:32:28,502 --> 01:32:30,087
And I trusted...

1699
01:32:30,170 --> 01:32:32,339
God, I could just kill them!

1700
01:32:32,631 --> 01:32:34,174
Well, I did kill them.

1701
01:32:34,299 --> 01:32:36,802
But I never meant
to frame Roger.

1702
01:32:36,885 --> 01:32:39,596
It's just that
he made it so damn easy!

1703
01:32:41,932 --> 01:32:43,267
I got him!

1704
01:32:52,067 --> 01:32:54,069
Let me in there.
Shut up!

1705
01:32:54,695 --> 01:32:56,905
You see, I was an inventor.

1706
01:32:57,239 --> 01:33:00,450
<i>I believe I came up with the greatest
single invention of the 20th century.</i>

1707
01:33:00,534 --> 01:33:02,369
<i>What invention?</i>
But when those

1708
01:33:02,452 --> 01:33:06,748
people in Peoria saw
that I could really do it,

1709
01:33:07,207 --> 01:33:08,417
they became afraid.

1710
01:33:08,500 --> 01:33:10,836
And they took
all my designs, and they
locked them in a safe,

1711
01:33:10,919 --> 01:33:12,963
and they told me that
I couldn't work
on them anymore,

1712
01:33:13,046 --> 01:33:14,548
because they owned them!

1713
01:33:14,631 --> 01:33:16,925
<i>Do you believe that?</i>

1714
01:33:18,260 --> 01:33:20,470
<i>Well, tell me,
do they own me?</i>

1715
01:33:24,808 --> 01:33:26,560
<i>Do they own this audience?</i>

1716
01:33:26,643 --> 01:33:28,145
<i>Do they own Chicago?</i>

1717
01:33:28,228 --> 01:33:29,563
<i>The world?</i>

1718
01:33:29,771 --> 01:33:31,690
I gotta start
using the stairs.

1719
01:33:31,773 --> 01:33:33,233
Well, do they own this?

1720
01:33:34,067 --> 01:33:35,235
Or this?

1721
01:33:36,069 --> 01:33:37,821
What are you doing?

1722
01:33:40,240 --> 01:33:41,450
<i>Or this?</i>

1723
01:33:42,618 --> 01:33:44,703
- Scripts?
<i>- Please, Max!</i>

1724
01:33:47,831 --> 01:33:50,208
Time to go!
Where are we going?

1725
01:33:50,292 --> 01:33:51,877
It's a surprise!

1726
01:33:53,086 --> 01:33:55,422
I'm a professional.
I'm not supposed to ad lib.

1727
01:33:55,505 --> 01:33:57,674
Go with the flow.

1728
01:33:59,718 --> 01:34:00,802
There's nobody here.

1729
01:34:00,886 --> 01:34:03,013
Is there any other way
out of here?
No.

1730
01:34:03,096 --> 01:34:04,556
Yes. Yes, the wiring chute.

1731
01:34:04,640 --> 01:34:06,266
There's a ladder
up to the roof.

1732
01:34:06,350 --> 01:34:09,561
Both you follow them.
We'll meet you up on the roof.

1733
01:34:11,271 --> 01:34:12,773
Well, we're still
on the air.

1734
01:34:12,898 --> 01:34:14,358
But they're out
of script pages.

1735
01:34:14,441 --> 01:34:15,651
Get me the air corps.

1736
01:34:16,777 --> 01:34:18,111
That's our Billy!

1737
01:34:18,236 --> 01:34:19,613
<i>How goes it?</i>

1738
01:34:21,114 --> 01:34:23,200
<i>Name, Little Spark.</i>

1739
01:34:24,660 --> 01:34:25,952
What's he doing?
I don't know.

1740
01:34:26,036 --> 01:34:28,538
<i>Gork's sidekick
from cave down road.</i>

1741
01:34:29,873 --> 01:34:30,999
Well...

1742
01:34:38,674 --> 01:34:42,135
<i>Gork have hands full
with modern problems.</i>

1743
01:34:42,719 --> 01:34:44,388
<i>So I finish story,</i>

1744
01:34:44,846 --> 01:34:46,598
<i>how he solve murder</i>

1745
01:34:46,807 --> 01:34:49,309
<i>and he get back
to easier time</i>

1746
01:34:49,559 --> 01:34:53,772
<i>of volcanoes,
earthquakes, warring tribes</i>

1747
01:34:53,855 --> 01:34:56,650
<i>and ferocious,
man-eating dinosaurs!</i>

1748
01:34:57,484 --> 01:34:58,652
You all right?

1749
01:34:58,735 --> 01:35:00,529
- You two guys, go upstairs!
- Right, sir.

1750
01:35:00,612 --> 01:35:02,698
Where's Penny?
That Applewhite character

1751
01:35:02,781 --> 01:35:04,032
got her on top of the roof.

1752
01:35:04,116 --> 01:35:06,493
The roof?
What are you talking...

1753
01:35:11,623 --> 01:35:13,041
Move!
Okay.

1754
01:35:15,794 --> 01:35:16,837
<i>Gork</i>

1755
01:35:17,504 --> 01:35:19,506
<i>make ultimate sacrifice.</i>

1756
01:35:20,590 --> 01:35:23,969
<i>And send for help on
prehistoric tom-tom.</i>

1757
01:35:25,178 --> 01:35:27,556
<i>Gork not so sure
Gork like idea.</i>

1758
01:35:27,639 --> 01:35:28,807
<i>Hang in there, Gork.</i>

1759
01:35:28,890 --> 01:35:30,976
Go on! Move!
Okay!

1760
01:35:41,570 --> 01:35:43,739
What is all this, Max?

1761
01:35:44,990 --> 01:35:46,950
This is my little sanctuary.

1762
01:35:47,033 --> 01:35:50,078
It's my lab where I've been
creating the future.

1763
01:35:50,203 --> 01:35:52,497
Come on,
where'd he go?
Penny!

1764
01:35:52,581 --> 01:35:53,790
Which way...
Penny!

1765
01:35:53,874 --> 01:35:54,875
Where is he?

1766
01:35:55,041 --> 01:35:56,460
What's that?

1767
01:36:01,465 --> 01:36:02,924
Television.

1768
01:36:03,467 --> 01:36:05,343
I created it
over 25 years ago.

1769
01:36:05,427 --> 01:36:07,387
Oh, I know everybody's
working on it now,

1770
01:36:07,471 --> 01:36:09,473
but my design is
still the best.

1771
01:36:09,639 --> 01:36:12,309
They wanted to destroy it,
so I hid it.

1772
01:36:12,517 --> 01:36:14,770
They'll never
find us in here.

1773
01:36:15,020 --> 01:36:16,438
Roger!
Penny!

1774
01:36:17,564 --> 01:36:19,232
Don't, don't, don't, Max!
Don't do it.

1775
01:36:19,316 --> 01:36:20,859
You're not going anywhere,
Applewhite.

1776
01:36:20,942 --> 01:36:23,028
You just told
50 million people
that you're the killer.

1777
01:36:23,111 --> 01:36:25,405
Well, you won't get me.
Back out!

1778
01:36:25,489 --> 01:36:27,282
Come on, Max.

1779
01:36:27,365 --> 01:36:28,575
I'll kill her!

1780
01:36:28,658 --> 01:36:31,411
Well, take me, Max.
Take me instead.

1781
01:36:31,495 --> 01:36:33,622
Wait, listen to me.
We both love Penny.

1782
01:36:33,705 --> 01:36:35,123
We don't wanna
see her get hurt.

1783
01:36:35,207 --> 01:36:36,958
And you probably don't
even like me, right?

1784
01:36:37,042 --> 01:36:38,752
So it'll be easier
for you to kill me.

1785
01:36:38,835 --> 01:36:39,961
What am I saying?

1786
01:36:40,045 --> 01:36:43,256
What are you saying?
I don't know. Come on, Max.

1787
01:36:44,341 --> 01:36:46,468
No, Max. It's okay. Come on.

1788
01:36:49,805 --> 01:36:51,389
Thanks. This will be easier.

1789
01:36:51,473 --> 01:36:53,225
Always glad to help.

1790
01:36:53,308 --> 01:36:54,267
Climb.

1791
01:36:54,601 --> 01:36:55,811
No. No!

1792
01:36:56,269 --> 01:36:57,354
Okay.

1793
01:36:58,605 --> 01:37:00,690
Max, Roger's
afraid of heights.

1794
01:37:00,774 --> 01:37:02,567
I'll remember that.

1795
01:37:10,742 --> 01:37:12,702
Well?
I sent for reinforcements.

1796
01:37:12,786 --> 01:37:14,955
There's nobody left.
Shut up.

1797
01:37:15,038 --> 01:37:16,832
- Go!
- Okay, okay.

1798
01:37:16,915 --> 01:37:19,751
You know, Max,
I'm not so sure this is
the best way out of here,

1799
01:37:19,835 --> 01:37:21,503
but where are we going?

1800
01:37:21,586 --> 01:37:24,339
To heaven, Roger.
We're going to heaven.

1801
01:37:26,007 --> 01:37:28,385
It's quite a climb.
Yes, it is.

1802
01:37:28,802 --> 01:37:30,053
Let's go.

1803
01:37:32,138 --> 01:37:35,934
You know, Max,
it's kind of brisk up here.
Why don't we just go back?

1804
01:37:36,017 --> 01:37:37,811
I can't go back!
Why not?

1805
01:37:37,894 --> 01:37:40,105
Because I've seen the future.

1806
01:37:40,188 --> 01:37:42,190
What are you talking about?

1807
01:37:42,274 --> 01:37:44,359
Television.
Come on, Max.

1808
01:37:44,442 --> 01:37:46,486
Up!
Okay, okay.

1809
01:37:47,612 --> 01:37:49,573
Up, up, up!

1810
01:37:49,656 --> 01:37:51,324
Okay, okay.

1811
01:37:58,498 --> 01:38:01,251
Max, what is that?

1812
01:38:05,589 --> 01:38:07,173
<i>Run for it, kid!</i>

1813
01:38:07,507 --> 01:38:10,093
What? What do you mean,
"Run for it"?

1814
01:38:32,240 --> 01:38:34,326
He's gonna kill my husband!

1815
01:38:44,461 --> 01:38:46,504
Max. Max!

1816
01:38:57,140 --> 01:38:58,558
He's crazy!

1817
01:39:05,440 --> 01:39:06,733
Max, no!

1818
01:39:07,108 --> 01:39:12,072
Radio is over!

1819
01:39:19,871 --> 01:39:21,289
Thank you again, Major.

1820
01:39:21,373 --> 01:39:22,958
We couldn't have
done it without you.

1821
01:39:23,041 --> 01:39:24,584
Okay, goodbye.

1822
01:39:24,668 --> 01:39:26,127
Are you okay?

1823
01:39:27,462 --> 01:39:29,381
Yeah. And you?
Yeah.

1824
01:39:29,839 --> 01:39:32,050
I can't believe
he killed people over this.

1825
01:39:32,133 --> 01:39:34,594
Radio was his life.
How could he think
it was over?

1826
01:39:34,678 --> 01:39:36,972
He was just wrong.
He was wrong, that's how.

1827
01:39:37,055 --> 01:39:38,515
I mean, radio will never die.

1828
01:39:38,598 --> 01:39:41,601
It would be like
killing the imagination.

1829
01:39:42,102 --> 01:39:44,062
Oh, my gosh.
We're still on the air.

1830
01:39:44,145 --> 01:39:45,355
Poor Tommy.

1831
01:39:45,438 --> 01:39:47,649
Let's go and scrape
what's left of that
psycho-killer

1832
01:39:47,732 --> 01:39:49,234
from off the pavement.

1833
01:39:49,693 --> 01:39:52,237
Hey! I'm talking to you guys.

1834
01:39:59,786 --> 01:40:01,162
Billy!

1835
01:40:01,246 --> 01:40:03,123
Five more minutes.
We're short. What do we do?

1836
01:40:03,206 --> 01:40:04,708
I don't know.

1837
01:40:04,833 --> 01:40:06,292
Have them do
the commercial again.

1838
01:40:11,923 --> 01:40:14,009
What are you doing?
Well...

1839
01:40:16,511 --> 01:40:20,890
Mrs. Henderson.
Great lineup of shows.
Oh, really? Thank you.

1840
01:40:20,974 --> 01:40:23,059
I think I speak for
all the affiliates

1841
01:40:23,143 --> 01:40:25,770
when I say we're
all pleased as punch
to be on board.

1842
01:40:25,854 --> 01:40:28,481
Thank you. Well, I'm sorry,
but I have to get
back to the booth.

1843
01:40:28,565 --> 01:40:29,983
Keep up the good work!

1844
01:40:34,946 --> 01:40:36,406
- Are you okay?
- We did it.

1845
01:40:36,489 --> 01:40:37,949
Billy saved the show.

1846
01:40:38,033 --> 01:40:39,826
Great. Oh, cue Tom.

1847
01:40:39,909 --> 01:40:41,911
<i>Oh, cue Tom.</i>
Cue Tom.

1848
01:40:45,373 --> 01:40:47,208
Quite a day.
Yeah.

1849
01:40:48,168 --> 01:40:49,419
Yeah, but just remember,

1850
01:40:49,502 --> 01:40:53,256
today is the first day
of the next part of your life
you haven't lived yet.

1851
01:40:53,339 --> 01:40:54,966
Roger...
It's a slogan I wrote.

1852
01:40:55,091 --> 01:40:57,093
I know, I know,
it needs a little work, but...

1853
01:40:57,177 --> 01:40:59,763
<i>From all of us here at WBN,</i>

1854
01:41:00,180 --> 01:41:03,933
<i>good night to
everyone in Radioland!</i>

1855
01:41:15,028 --> 01:41:16,738
Can we just go home?

1856
01:41:17,572 --> 01:41:18,948
Do you mean it?

1857
01:41:19,866 --> 01:41:22,327
You really are
the only guy for me.

1858
01:41:23,828 --> 01:41:25,038
I know.

1859
01:41:25,914 --> 01:41:27,165
"I know"?

1860
01:41:31,002 --> 01:41:33,922
What? What did I do now?
Oh, nothing.
Forget about it.

1861
01:41:34,005 --> 01:41:35,799
<i>What? What gives with you?</i>

1862
01:41:35,882 --> 01:41:37,675
<i>I was 1,000 feet up
in the air with a madman,</i>

1863
01:41:37,759 --> 01:41:39,761
<i>risking my life for you,
and you say forget it.</i>

1864
01:41:39,844 --> 01:41:42,055
<i>Oh, well, nobody asked you to.
I would have gone,</i>

1865
01:41:42,138 --> 01:41:43,973
but, oh, no,
Mr. Marvel has to go.

1866
01:41:44,099 --> 01:41:45,517
I did it because I love you!

1867
01:41:45,600 --> 01:41:48,186
You love me?
Well, what about
how much I love you?

1868
01:41:48,269 --> 01:41:50,814
Oh, oh. So what you're saying
is that you love me
more than I love you?

1869
01:41:50,897 --> 01:41:52,690
Oh, you're impossible!
Oh, you're impossible!

1870
01:42:18,424 --> 01:42:21,219
<i>And that's it from
WBN in Chicago.</i>

1871
01:42:21,302 --> 01:42:23,179
<i>If it wasn't clear before</i>

1872
01:42:23,263 --> 01:42:25,306
<i>it's certainly clear now.</i>

1873
01:42:25,473 --> 01:42:29,769
<i>There'll never be
anything quite like radio!</i>