1 00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:09,574 Oh, simple Allison. 2 00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:12,534 Previously On "Kevin Can Himself"... 3 00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:15,363 I just don't know when I got so isolated from everyone. 4 00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,147 You blew up my life. Was that just for fun? 5 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,801 I felt sorry for you. 6 00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,387 I was hoping to do some computer research. 7 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:23,153 About a woman who decides to kill her husband. 8 00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:26,461 I killed with oxycodone and made it look like an O.D. 9 00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:28,724 These types of pills get abused. 10 00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,726 Yeah, I've heard. 11 00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:32,162 I swear I know someone. 12 00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,337 Thank you. 13 00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:36,036 Oh, it's drugs. Shit. 14 00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:43,130 Dad! 15 00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:45,132 I hope you still have some contacts 16 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,413 in the Miracles Department of the church, 17 00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:47,569 because this... Oh. 18 00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,092 Qualifies. 19 00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:51,921 That is a great bag. 20 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:53,705 Very roomy. 21 00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:55,838 I think he's talking about what's inside. 22 00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,970 Please don't be alive. Please don't be alive. 23 00:00:58,014 --> 00:00:59,624 Also, please don't be dead. 24 00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,429 So, there I was, walking down the street. 25 00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:04,107 No one else was around when... boom! 26 00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:07,806 This just appeared in front of me. 27 00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,984 Kevin! 28 00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:14,639 "Hart Live at the Worcester Centrum." 29 00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:16,467 W... You took that?! 30 00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:19,557 The wind took it off the side of the Worcester Centrum. 31 00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,429 And it's got your name on it, 32 00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:23,561 so legally, it belongs to you. 33 00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:26,521 Wow, your grasp of the legal system is so interesting. 34 00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:29,045 My public defender said the same thing. 35 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,135 Let's hang my banner off the side of the house, yeah? 36 00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,181 After we staple the good sheets over 37 00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:36,052 anything that doesn't say "Kevin." 38 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,836 Why would you specify the good... 39 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,360 Never mind. 40 00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:42,058 Alright, ideas on how we can do this? 41 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,973 I got my dad's towing winches. 42 00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:45,366 You're a winch. 43 00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:49,848 No, guys, we use the towing winches 44 00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:51,415 to do a pulley system. 45 00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:53,765 A "system?" Patty, we're climbing one roof. 46 00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:55,071 We're not gonna take Vegas. 47 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,420 I know. 48 00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:58,205 Neil, you shimmy up the drain pipe 49 00:01:58,248 --> 00:02:00,120 and hang it off the old lightning rod. 50 00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,904 I'm sure it doesn't do anything important. 51 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,079 Please be careful. 52 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,472 On it. Fine! Do it your way! 53 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,474 Oh. I'd say break a leg... 54 00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:07,668 Wait, I'm stuck!...but Neil most definitely will. 55 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:33,501 My brother broke his leg. 56 00:02:33,544 --> 00:02:36,199 40 megs of OxyContin, comin' up. 57 00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:40,203 Remember you missed prom 'cause Neil got a concussion? 58 00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:43,250 Yeah, Terrance. 59 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:46,078 That's why I didn't go to the prom. 60 00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:48,820 I called ahead, you know. They should be ready. 61 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,082 Gotta wait all day? 62 00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:53,521 You know, these pills are pricey. 63 00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:56,045 I could get my hands on some generics for you. 64 00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:57,438 In the future. 65 00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,875 It's alright. Medicaid covers it. 66 00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,268 I mean, like 67 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,487 they only give you 10 of these. 68 00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:06,273 So if your brother ever needs a refill, 69 00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:09,580 come back and see me for the generic. 70 00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:13,367 Oh, I... 71 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,936 No. 72 00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:20,939 You got a degree. 73 00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,550 A good job. 74 00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:25,117 Don't be an idiot with this stuff, Terrance. 75 00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,858 With what? 76 00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:34,257 Okay, lady, let's get you out of this chair. 77 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,911 Ooh. You got it? 78 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,869 I'm not an invalid yet. 79 00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:40,437 Okay. Okay. 80 00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:46,443 Oh, before I forget, hand me my pocket book. 81 00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,142 I think you'll like it. 82 00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,928 Nobody has taken it out in ages, 83 00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:55,104 so, eh, just keep it. 84 00:03:57,933 --> 00:04:00,501 Thanks. 85 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,459 Oh, Jesus. 86 00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:04,679 Oh... 87 00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:07,682 Hey. You okay? 88 00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,336 It's just this damn sciatica. 89 00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:12,339 My do-gooder sister-in-law's 90 00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:14,602 taken to picking up my groceries for me. 91 00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,299 I-I-It's just hard. 92 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,692 Friggin' doctor visits 93 00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,215 are too expensive without insurance, 94 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,564 and the pain is just... 95 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:24,133 You know, some days, it's just bad. 96 00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:26,135 Judi. 97 00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:29,007 I'm fine. 98 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:44,806 I'm gonna be needing some generics. 99 00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:03,215 What the hell are you doing here? 100 00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:04,410 I... You've never been in here before. 101 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:07,568 I know. But I want a wash. 102 00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,876 Like Barb gets. 103 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,400 No, you don't. Yes, I do. 104 00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:15,532 I need them. I need it. 105 00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:16,881 Why? 106 00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:19,580 Back pain. 107 00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:24,672 Bullshit. Okay, well, how the hell would you know? 108 00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,911 Because you're a terrible liar. Even you don't believe what you're saying. 109 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,416 Oh, Jesus, why does this have to be so hard? 110 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,158 I don't have anything for you. 111 00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:35,378 Of course you don't. 112 00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:39,687 You'll have to wait till I re-up Monday afternoon. 113 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,471 W... Monday? 114 00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:44,256 Like, this Monday? Like, three da... Like, 72 hours? 115 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,302 We all know you can do math. 116 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,218 Okay, that... Monday is great. 117 00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,872 That is amazing. 118 00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:54,441 I will be here for the wash on Monday. 119 00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:56,225 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 120 00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:57,487 Okay. 121 00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,228 But for now, get out of here. 122 00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:02,013 Is it, like, dangerous or something? 123 00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,319 No. 124 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,670 I'm just done being around you. 125 00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,240 Thank you. 126 00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:17,638 Here for another free coffee? 127 00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,727 Wait, you serve free coffee here? 128 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,338 Uh, you keep leaving before you actually pay. 129 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,732 Oh, my gosh. You're right. 130 00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:27,256 I... Well, I promise to pay for this one... 131 00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:29,040 And the other two. 132 00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:30,757 It's been sitting for a while. Make a fresh pot. 133 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,566 No, no, I'm not picky. 134 00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,744 Um... 135 00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:40,269 I am sorry for the other night. 136 00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,184 Just had a really bad day, 137 00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:45,274 and you were saying some stuff that I didn't, uh... 138 00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:46,536 It's not a big deal. 139 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:49,452 Wha... No, I was rude. 140 00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,846 When I'm around you, I feel... 141 00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:55,023 I don't know... 15, and I was a brat at 15. 142 00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,504 So I am sorry. 143 00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,727 It's cold. I told you I'd make a new pot. 144 00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,337 I c... it's not... No, no. 145 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,775 No, it's okay. I deserve this. 146 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,779 Mmm. 147 00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:14,085 Mm. Mm. So stoic. 148 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:21,745 I'm sorry, too. 149 00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,748 I think I was kinda harsh to cover the fact 150 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:27,795 that seeing you again makes me feel a little 151 00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:28,883 guilty. 152 00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,102 Oh, yeah? 153 00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:33,409 When I was working the steps with my sponsor, 154 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,368 I listed out people to make amends to, 155 00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:38,545 and you were on there. 156 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:41,373 Maybe towards the top. 157 00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:44,159 If anyone deserved a call... 158 00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:45,900 I just didn't do it. 159 00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:48,380 What, did you lose my number? 160 00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:50,339 Nope, just a coward. 161 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:58,695 You know, I'm getting my chip in AA tomorrow night. 162 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,218 Eight years sober. 163 00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:01,393 Eight years? Yeah. 164 00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,004 Wow! 165 00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,702 Feel like I don't even know this version of you. 166 00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:09,837 You look the same, though. 167 00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:14,189 I like that you think I'm the same. 168 00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,627 You are. 169 00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:22,458 They say to invite people to these things. 170 00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,462 Would you come? 171 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,378 Consider it me making my amends. 172 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,603 So, you got a special occasion you wanna look nice for? 173 00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:39,170 Sure, my husband's taking me to Paris. 174 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,784 No, this is self-care. 175 00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,873 Woman: Last time, we did those swoopy layers. 176 00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:47,744 Cathy in accountin' says, "Nice haircut." 177 00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:49,529 And I knew what she meant. 178 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:52,444 Woman on a band. Can you imagine? 179 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:53,794 No. 180 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,186 Woman: Hey. 181 00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,840 Hey, Cindy. 182 00:08:56,884 --> 00:09:00,061 Hoping you can squeeze me in for a wash? 183 00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:02,063 Okay, great. 184 00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:04,456 One sec, hon. 185 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,676 Let's have a look at the book. 186 00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:11,115 So, thing is, I'm cleaned out at the moment. 187 00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,901 Oh. We had a couple people in rough shape this week, 188 00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,400 needed a bit more, but I'm re-upping Monday. 189 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:18,209 I sorta need 'em now. 190 00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:20,342 Listen, Cindy, I know your knee's blown, 191 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:22,649 but for a day or two, toss back a few ibuprofen. 192 00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,085 It'll be fine. 193 00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,043 Patty. Ibuprofen? Are you serious?! 194 00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,527 I really need them. 195 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,921 Okay. 196 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,792 Let me see what I can do, okay? 197 00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:37,664 Thank you.Yeah. 198 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:40,144 Thank you. Oh. 199 00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,929 For last time. 200 00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:44,845 Thanks f-for frontin' for me. 201 00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,934 It won't happen again. 202 00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:48,196 No big thing. 203 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,516 Hey, babe, you might want to keep your coat on, 204 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:07,476 'cause it's about to get "chili" in here. 205 00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,870 Chili, the food. 206 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,717 Thank you for clearing that up, Neil. 207 00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,353 Can't you just buy the chili this year? 208 00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:17,399 Sweet Allison. 209 00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:19,706 The Renzulli Brothers don't plow our street 210 00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,621 in exchange for store-bought chili. 211 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:22,989 No, they do it 'cause we pay taxes. 212 00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:26,190 The Renzulli Brothers plow our street 213 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:28,628 early and often because we bribe them in, 214 00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:31,326 and I quote, "Yummy-nummy chili in their tummies." 215 00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:34,285 That's right, and this year, 216 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:35,722 we're making an extra-special batch 217 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,549 with deep-fried turkey meat... 218 00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,726 Prepared, of course, using my brand-new 219 00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:43,381 55,000 BTU All-Pro Stainless Steel Turkey Deep Fryer. 220 00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:44,687 Ooh! 221 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,646 She is a sexy little contraption. 222 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,691 I call her the "Dirty Birdie." 223 00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,214 Is that the, uh... 224 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,999 The thing that's set up in our driveway? 225 00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:53,783 Bingo! Best to do it outdoors. 226 00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:56,003 Frying a turkey can be very dangerous. 227 00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,744 Yeah, sometimes they explode, 228 00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:00,311 and no one knows why. 229 00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:01,704 Sounds violent. 230 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:05,621 Don't worry, Mom, I'll be careful. 231 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,623 Oh. 232 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,321 Neil's cooking the exploding turkey. 233 00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,106 Yeah. Why? 234 00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:13,411 I guess I was just confused 235 00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:14,761 'cause you usually cook the meat, 236 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,153 so I thought it was your chili. 237 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,286 It is, since I'm the magician behind it. 238 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,985 Uh, well, you know, we both work on it, so... 239 00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:24,596 Yeah, but I'm the main magician. 240 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,947 You're the random audience member 241 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,166 we can all agree I've never met before. 242 00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:32,996 Um, you're wrong. 243 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,303 What? 244 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,000 I said "no offense." 245 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:38,393 No, you didn't. 246 00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:39,786 I'm wrong? 247 00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:42,310 Uh, if I'm so wrong, 248 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,355 how come my plans, ideas, and goof-arounds work out 249 00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:46,053 99% of the time? 250 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,795 Uh, 'cause you got me jukin' stats and crackin' skulls. 251 00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,231 You need me. 252 00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:52,363 Pssh, I don't need anybody. 253 00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:53,974 Fine, then I'll take my 254 00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,647 55,000 BTU All-Pro Stainless Steel Turkey Deep Fryer 255 00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:57,064 and make my own chili, 256 00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:59,936 and it's gonna blow yours into the water. 257 00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:04,854 A chili cook-off? 258 00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,702 Good luck making anything the Renzulli Bros respect 259 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,988 without my help. 260 00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:11,208 Pfff. I don't need your help! 261 00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,298 'Cause I've got Allison! Oh! 262 00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,387 She's gonna help me cook the chili, 263 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,259 and she is way better than you. 264 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,523 I can't believe you'd stoop that low. 265 00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,830 Oh, we're playing limbo now, baby. 266 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,049 You don't even know how low I can go! 267 00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:27,572 Welcome to the Dream Team, baby. 268 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,969 Yeah, you get out of here with that turkey. 269 00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,275 Leave my carrot! 270 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,918 Allison: Neil's not in there. Geez. 271 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:11,723 Starting to think I should tie a little bell 272 00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:12,835 to all your cardigans. 273 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,924 This is a new look for you. 274 00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:17,361 No, it's actually an old look. 275 00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:21,061 I used to have a burger every day after swim practice. 276 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,453 I had to earn it. 277 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:23,890 You go swimming today? 278 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,240 Nope, but I earned it. 279 00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:28,459 And 280 00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:30,548 the second one was only 50¢, 281 00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,768 and I can't pass up a deal, so... 282 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,162 You want it? 283 00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:46,173 Mm. 284 00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,784 Of course you're the kind of girl who's always cold. 285 00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:51,787 Why are you eating outside? 286 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,183 Um, I'm just stalling. 287 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:59,012 Kevin's inside. He and Neil got into a fight. 288 00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,970 They don't do that. They do now, I guess. 289 00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,972 It was nice for the first 30 seconds 290 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,210 until Kevin started looking to me 291 00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:05,932 to fill the Neil-sized hole. 292 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,324 As soon as I go in there, 293 00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,499 he's gonna put me to work. 294 00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:10,023 So, don't do it. 295 00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,026 Like that's an option. 296 00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:15,985 He's just gonna whine until I, like, 297 00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:18,770 drive 90 miles to get pork belly, 298 00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:20,729 or something stupid like that. 299 00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:23,558 This fight between 'em's gonna be the end of me. 300 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,429 Allison, I'm always impressed 301 00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:27,388 with how you can make nothing to do with you 302 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,172 all about you. 303 00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,782 Okay. 304 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:32,219 Well, if I'm so obnoxious, 305 00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:33,742 why don't you go in there 306 00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:35,962 and deal with Kevin's chili hysteria? 307 00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,964 Or go home and deal with Neil's. 308 00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,922 Go on, Patty. Go be one of the boys. 309 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,798 I knew it. 310 00:14:46,842 --> 00:14:48,670 You hate them as much as I do. 311 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:52,326 I don't hate them. Yes, you do. 312 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,241 I knew it. 313 00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:56,199 I knew there was something else going on. 314 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,803 I just didn't know it was selling drugs. 315 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,682 Can you just be cool? 316 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,424 I'm right. 317 00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,817 That's way better. 318 00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,952 Kurt: I'm so glad you're eating healthy with me. 319 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,347 I can't do anything alone. 320 00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:16,108 Glad my company is good for something. 321 00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:19,135 You're good for more than that. 322 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:23,661 Got "Ray Donovan" all ready to go. 323 00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:25,402 I'm hooked. Ugh. 324 00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,578 His accent's for shit, though. 325 00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,971 Yeah. 326 00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,582 It's true. 327 00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:36,413 Mmm. 328 00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:42,289 Guess how much this salad cost us? 329 00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:43,768 60¢. 330 00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:46,815 Well, no. 331 00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:51,080 I mean, $2.49, though? 332 00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,300 Plus the dressing, which we already had, 333 00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:56,607 but at a salad bar, we'd be paying 7 bucks each... 334 00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,435 Plus tip and tax. 335 00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,414 Maybe by summer, we'll save up enough 336 00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:02,831 for our own place on the Cape... 337 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,833 Show off our skinny arms on the beach. 338 00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:07,444 Yeah, maybe. 339 00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,074 Hey, maybe tonight, we could... 340 00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:31,120 Do you mind if we don't tonight? 341 00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,949 Oh, yeah. Of course. 342 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,343 I'm just really tired. 343 00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:39,041 Yeah, you don't have to explain. 344 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:42,479 It's... I'm always happy just sitting here with you. 345 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,440 Yeah. Me, too. 346 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,364 Hey, babe. 347 00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,322 It's Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! 348 00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:02,456 Ugh, it's the day of rest. 349 00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:05,720 Only for lazy people like Neil who lose chili cook-offs 350 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,896 'cause they rest on their Lauras. 351 00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,593 Rest on their what? 352 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,354 Like, when you're sleeping with some chick named Laura 353 00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:12,703 and you don't want to get out of the bed, 354 00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,076 you're lazy. 355 00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:18,037 I learn so much being married to you. 356 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,342 I love you, too, babe. 357 00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,996 I have to go run an errand, 358 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,346 but it's for a huge surprise I have planned for ya. 359 00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:25,783 Planned for me? Of course. 360 00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:27,718 Well, last time you said you had something planned for me, 361 00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,613 you and Neil went to Rock 'N' Roll Camp. 362 00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:33,008 Who doesn't like a weekend alone? 363 00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:37,969 Now, I expect you back here this afternoon for your surprise. 364 00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:41,364 Kevin and Allison, together forevah! 365 00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:13,004 And I never called before, Terrance. 366 00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:15,006 Isn't it good that I'm out? 367 00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:19,228 I mean, I'm... I'm selling, right? 368 00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:22,492 And this is important, so... 369 00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,581 Hell... 370 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,192 Geez. 371 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,719 Oh, hell. 372 00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:37,377 Yes? 373 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:40,031 Um, I was hoping you did walk-ins? 374 00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:41,468 Look, I said Monday, okay? 375 00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:42,880 Why is everybody up my ass this week? 376 00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,253 I mean it. 377 00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:46,603 I was hoping you could give me, like, 378 00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:48,127 a beachy wave or somethin'. 379 00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:50,912 You say "hoping" a lot. 380 00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:54,350 Well, it's nicer than saying "I want." 381 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:58,485 Just a curl, not a whole wash. 382 00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,792 I'll take it. 383 00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,620 Whee! 384 00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:06,232 You got a special occasion you wanna look nice for? 385 00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:07,972 Uh, I was hop... 386 00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:10,236 I want to look nice, 387 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:13,456 but, uh, I'm not sure it's a special occasion. 388 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:16,024 I... Well, promise you won't tell Kevin? 389 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,504 We're in that 390 00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:19,264 mutually-assured-destruction territory now, yeah? 391 00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,855 Right. 392 00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:24,250 Well, uh, I am seeing an ex. 393 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,252 Well, not really an ex. 394 00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:28,515 He, um... We used to bus tables together 395 00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:30,517 at this really terrible Mexican restaurant... 396 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:31,866 Aunt Chiladas? 397 00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:33,259 No, Sloppy José's. 398 00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:35,043 Yeah. 399 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:38,220 I guess we never actually, like, "dated." 400 00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:41,267 He was always with this girl from Amherst. 401 00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,138 Jenn, with two "N's." 402 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,966 Mm, I hate her. 403 00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:48,535 Um, I would lock up and he would turn the sign off, 404 00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:50,841 and then we would go in back in the kitchen 405 00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:52,713 and fool around. 406 00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:55,106 And I didn't know Jenn that well, 407 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:57,935 so it didn't seem quite as terrible. 408 00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:01,069 It just felt like I wanted to beat her. 409 00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:03,289 And it was fun and dangerous. 410 00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:05,900 Having sex in front of the tortilla chips 411 00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:07,641 is your idea of dangerous? 412 00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:10,383 Well, it's the worst thing I've ever done. 413 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,167 So, you're gonna go fool around. 414 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,560 No. 415 00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,301 Kinda sounds like you want to. 416 00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:17,694 He's married. You're married. 417 00:20:17,738 --> 00:20:19,261 E... Of co... Yes, of course. 418 00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:20,871 We're both married, yes. 419 00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,438 It's not gonna happen. 420 00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:25,572 And this is what you're wearing? 421 00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:26,964 Hey. 422 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,576 I'm just saying. 423 00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:31,882 You have that wrap dress from the Gap. 424 00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:35,321 Well, I'm going to go home and change, okay? 425 00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:38,149 So, what about you? 426 00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:40,195 You have fun hanging out with Kurt? 427 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,892 Huh? 428 00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:44,591 Did you have fun? 429 00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:47,333 Uh, yeah. 430 00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:48,812 It was fine. 431 00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:51,162 Okay, did you go out, or...? 432 00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:55,558 No. Oh, okay. 433 00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:57,908 Well, that's nice. A man who can cook. 434 00:20:57,952 --> 00:21:00,259 Unless he's bad at it. Is he bad at it? 435 00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:02,173 I don't know. He... He's Kurt. 436 00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,175 He opened a bag of salad, put it on a plate, 437 00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:05,612 and then watched me eat it. 438 00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:10,181 Okay, well, I'd take that over being chained to Kevin 439 00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:12,923 while he makes the world's most disgusting chili. 440 00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:18,755 Kurt thinks we're eating healthy together. 441 00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:21,647 That cheeseburger I had last night 442 00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:23,020 was my third this week. 443 00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:27,590 Shut up. 444 00:21:29,679 --> 00:21:32,639 Oh, you got all done up for me, huh, sweetie? 445 00:21:32,682 --> 00:21:34,989 Really putting yourself out there, aren't ya? 446 00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:37,513 Yeah, settling in to your new profession. 447 00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:39,385 Hey, let me know if you want me to set up 448 00:21:39,428 --> 00:21:41,952 any more appointments under the bridge. 449 00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:50,483 Yes, hello. 450 00:21:50,526 --> 00:21:53,224 Um, I was just walking by Clark Street Elementary, 451 00:21:53,268 --> 00:21:54,878 and I saw a man selling drugs. 452 00:21:54,922 --> 00:21:57,664 And I followed him to the auto body on Buckingham Ave. 453 00:21:57,707 --> 00:21:59,970 He works there. 454 00:22:00,014 --> 00:22:01,426 Please help, because I don't want this monster 455 00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:04,323 getting children hooked on drugs. 456 00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,150 Okay, well, you're welcome. 457 00:22:06,194 --> 00:22:07,978 Thank you for your time. 458 00:22:08,022 --> 00:22:09,415 Okay, bye-bye. 459 00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:19,076 Kev, you back yet? 460 00:22:29,043 --> 00:22:31,524 Jesus Christ, Kev, come on. 461 00:22:43,057 --> 00:22:44,450 Oh, hey! 462 00:22:44,493 --> 00:22:46,016 Perfect timing! 463 00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:47,931 Guess what I got? 464 00:22:47,975 --> 00:22:50,020 A pig. 465 00:22:50,064 --> 00:22:51,457 Dinga-ding-ding! 466 00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,372 This is our trump card, baby! 467 00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:55,243 It's, um, staring at me. 468 00:22:55,286 --> 00:22:56,853 Can you... 469 00:22:56,897 --> 00:22:59,029 Oh, there you go. Much better. 470 00:22:59,073 --> 00:23:00,335 Peek-a-boo! Oh! 471 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:01,728 Just kidding. 472 00:23:01,771 --> 00:23:03,294 Ah! 473 00:23:03,338 --> 00:23:04,731 I'm just kidding. 474 00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:07,560 Stupid Neil thinks he's gonna win 475 00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:09,475 with bird meat when I got a pig on my side! 476 00:23:11,085 --> 00:23:14,436 This is game over, right here. 477 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,525 Certainly is for the pig. 478 00:23:16,569 --> 00:23:18,527 I'm gonna cook him as God intended... 479 00:23:18,571 --> 00:23:21,051 All night long over a roaring open flame 480 00:23:21,095 --> 00:23:22,444 10 feet from our house. 481 00:23:22,488 --> 00:23:24,446 It's gonna be a great time, babe! 482 00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:25,621 You're gonna love it. 483 00:23:26,927 --> 00:23:29,190 I'm gonna love it? 484 00:23:29,233 --> 00:23:31,322 Oh, yes. That's my surprise. 485 00:23:31,366 --> 00:23:33,803 You and me... Kevin and Allison... 486 00:23:33,847 --> 00:23:36,458 The greatest duo that this backyard has ever seen. 487 00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:38,286 We got eight hours of togetherness 488 00:23:38,329 --> 00:23:40,288 over a roasting pig. 489 00:23:40,331 --> 00:23:42,551 You want me to be here? 490 00:23:42,595 --> 00:23:44,379 I can't do this on my own! 491 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:45,859 Not that I need anyone! 492 00:23:45,902 --> 00:23:47,774 Okay, well, all you have to do 493 00:23:47,817 --> 00:23:50,080 is just watch an open flame and try not to fall asleep, 494 00:23:50,124 --> 00:23:51,734 so w-why do you need me here? 495 00:23:51,778 --> 00:23:54,433 It's so much more than just not falling asleep. 496 00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:56,652 Neil and I... 497 00:23:58,393 --> 00:24:00,787 That neighbor guy and I 498 00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:03,442 used to do this sort of stuff all the time. 499 00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:05,618 Come on, it's gonna be the best time. 500 00:24:05,661 --> 00:24:08,185 We got an excuse to pound beers all night long. 501 00:24:08,229 --> 00:24:09,796 And then, around 3:00 A.M., 502 00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:11,208 I'll do my line-for-line reenactment 503 00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:12,929 of "Good Will Hunting." 504 00:24:12,973 --> 00:24:15,715 Oh, as great as that sounds, I... Allison. 505 00:24:15,758 --> 00:24:17,107 It's not your fault. 506 00:24:17,151 --> 00:24:18,805 Yeah, I-I know. 507 00:24:18,848 --> 00:24:20,197 It's not your fault, Allison. 508 00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:21,547 Yes. No, I understand. 509 00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:22,722 Allison. It's from the film. 510 00:24:22,765 --> 00:24:24,114 It's not your fault. Uh-huh. 511 00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:26,203 I mean, see? How great is that?! 512 00:24:26,247 --> 00:24:28,031 Where else are you gonna be? 513 00:24:28,075 --> 00:24:29,511 Well, I have a work... 514 00:24:29,555 --> 00:24:31,905 I have a work at the package store. 515 00:24:33,254 --> 00:24:34,821 I'll be here. 516 00:24:34,864 --> 00:24:36,518 Waitin' for you. 517 00:24:38,259 --> 00:24:39,303 Oh! "So will I!" 518 00:24:42,219 --> 00:24:43,699 Oh! 519 00:24:45,266 --> 00:24:46,354 It was his fault! 520 00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:55,929 Hey. 521 00:24:55,972 --> 00:24:57,583 Would you just hold on one second? 522 00:24:57,626 --> 00:24:58,932 Yeah, sure. 523 00:24:58,975 --> 00:25:00,368 Hey. 524 00:25:00,411 --> 00:25:01,587 Hi. Oh, my God. 525 00:25:01,630 --> 00:25:04,372 Uh... S-Sorry. Hi. 526 00:25:04,415 --> 00:25:05,939 So glad you made it. 527 00:25:05,982 --> 00:25:07,375 Ugh. Uh, you look great. 528 00:25:07,418 --> 00:25:10,857 Oh, thank you. 529 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:12,859 Uh, I-I don't really know what to do. 530 00:25:12,902 --> 00:25:14,600 I've never been to one of these before. 531 00:25:14,643 --> 00:25:16,602 Oh, yeah, don't worry. It's not a big deal. 532 00:25:16,645 --> 00:25:18,734 Um, you've never been to a meeting? 533 00:25:18,778 --> 00:25:20,170 No. 534 00:25:20,214 --> 00:25:21,868 Do you think I should have? 535 00:25:21,911 --> 00:25:24,261 No. No, please. That's not what I meant. 536 00:25:24,305 --> 00:25:26,176 Um, you're the most self-controlled person 537 00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:27,351 I ever met. 538 00:25:27,395 --> 00:25:29,571 Well, it's been a while. 539 00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:31,399 Maybe I've changed. 540 00:25:31,442 --> 00:25:33,532 Totally lost it. 541 00:25:34,837 --> 00:25:38,275 Eh, I'm not buying it. 542 00:25:39,799 --> 00:25:42,018 Okay. 543 00:25:42,062 --> 00:25:44,020 Kurt: Bon appétit. 544 00:25:48,068 --> 00:25:50,461 Man: The road to Big Trout Lake is a narrow corridor 545 00:25:50,505 --> 00:25:53,029 filled with twists, turns, and steep hills... 546 00:25:53,073 --> 00:25:55,466 Mmm... that make ordinary runs challenging 547 00:25:55,510 --> 00:25:58,905 and mega-hauls like Todd's an outright gamble. 548 00:25:58,948 --> 00:26:01,429 Hey, you need the Honda this week? 549 00:26:01,472 --> 00:26:02,778 Maybe. 550 00:26:04,258 --> 00:26:06,739 I'll let you know. 551 00:26:07,957 --> 00:26:09,916 Oh. 552 00:26:09,959 --> 00:26:12,788 "Bon appétit" means you can start eating. 553 00:26:14,529 --> 00:26:16,923 Uh... 554 00:26:16,966 --> 00:26:20,448 Can we please just have some real food? 555 00:26:20,491 --> 00:26:23,494 W-Wha... Thi... But this is. 556 00:26:23,538 --> 00:26:26,236 This... This is... This is protein and vegetables. No, Kurt. 557 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:30,458 I would like some real-ass food, you know? 558 00:26:30,501 --> 00:26:32,242 With carbs and animal fat 559 00:26:32,286 --> 00:26:33,686 so I don't have to keep speed-eating 560 00:26:33,722 --> 00:26:35,942 alone in my car on the way over here. 561 00:26:35,985 --> 00:26:38,684 It's lonely and I'm getting heartburn. 562 00:26:39,728 --> 00:26:41,382 Yeah, o-okay. 563 00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:43,079 I'll order something. 564 00:26:43,123 --> 00:26:44,951 Thank you! 565 00:26:44,994 --> 00:26:46,953 Yes, God! Thank you! 566 00:26:46,996 --> 00:26:49,477 Ugh. 567 00:26:51,522 --> 00:26:54,569 Ooh, maybe chimichangas! 568 00:26:56,310 --> 00:26:58,704 Once again, welcome to the Sunday Trinity. 569 00:26:58,747 --> 00:27:03,622 Big Book Discussion Meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. 570 00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:06,755 I've stated that I'm an alcoholic. 571 00:27:06,799 --> 00:27:10,280 Are there any other alcoholics present tonight? 572 00:27:10,324 --> 00:27:14,284 We also celebrate the anniversaries at this meeting. 573 00:27:14,328 --> 00:27:18,549 An anniversary is defined as 365 days free of alcohol 574 00:27:18,593 --> 00:27:21,770 or anything else that affects you from the neck up. 575 00:27:21,814 --> 00:27:23,903 We have one anniversary tonight, 576 00:27:23,946 --> 00:27:26,688 and that is Sam, celebrating eight years. 577 00:27:26,732 --> 00:27:27,994 Get up here, Sam. 578 00:27:39,179 --> 00:27:40,702 Hey, I'm Sam. 579 00:27:40,746 --> 00:27:42,182 Alcoholic. 580 00:27:42,225 --> 00:27:44,750 Hi, Sam. Hi, Sam. Hi, Sam. Hi, Sam. 581 00:27:44,793 --> 00:27:46,752 Uh, I dragged myself into the Program 582 00:27:46,795 --> 00:27:49,189 when I finally hit rock bottom. 583 00:27:49,232 --> 00:27:51,582 One night, I got so loaded 584 00:27:51,626 --> 00:27:55,804 that I stole a bundle of heroin from some guy I met at a bar... 585 00:27:55,848 --> 00:27:58,198 Too drunk to even remember his name. 586 00:27:58,241 --> 00:27:59,852 Jason, maybe? 587 00:27:59,895 --> 00:28:04,378 If he'd caught me, I bet he would've killed me. 588 00:28:04,421 --> 00:28:07,598 I can still feel that fear and that shame, and that's good. 589 00:28:07,642 --> 00:28:09,818 It keeps the cycle from starting again. 590 00:28:09,862 --> 00:28:14,562 I've been done with destructive patterns for eight years. 591 00:28:14,605 --> 00:28:17,217 I'm not going back. 592 00:28:28,576 --> 00:28:30,796 Oh. 593 00:28:30,839 --> 00:28:33,059 Um, thank you so much for having me. 594 00:28:33,102 --> 00:28:34,843 Really? This... Yeah. 595 00:28:34,887 --> 00:28:37,759 Uh, I know these things can be painful. 596 00:28:37,803 --> 00:28:40,066 Oddly, I'm, uh... I'm proud. 597 00:28:40,109 --> 00:28:41,415 I... Woman: Sam. 598 00:28:41,458 --> 00:28:43,330 Oh, hey! Hey. 599 00:28:43,373 --> 00:28:44,655 What are you doing here? Oh, I wanted to surprise you. 600 00:28:44,679 --> 00:28:45,985 Did I miss it? 601 00:28:46,028 --> 00:28:48,074 Yeah, but that's okay. There's plenty more. 602 00:28:48,117 --> 00:28:50,772 My dad was at the house looking at tile samples, 603 00:28:50,816 --> 00:28:52,513 and I lost track of time. 604 00:28:52,556 --> 00:28:54,167 Sorry. Eh, that's okay. 605 00:28:54,210 --> 00:28:55,646 House looks great though. 606 00:28:55,690 --> 00:28:58,519 Good. Uh, Jenn, this is Allison. 607 00:28:58,562 --> 00:28:59,825 Allison, my wife, Jenn. 608 00:28:59,868 --> 00:29:01,740 Hi.Hi. Oh. Hi. 609 00:29:01,783 --> 00:29:03,785 Uh, we've actually met before. 610 00:29:03,829 --> 00:29:06,048 I, uh, worked with Sam in high school. 611 00:29:06,092 --> 00:29:07,397 Oh, how sweet of you to come. 612 00:29:07,441 --> 00:29:08,703 Of course. 613 00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,879 It's a big deal. 614 00:29:12,663 --> 00:29:14,665 Sorry, you got, um... You have something. 615 00:29:15,710 --> 00:29:17,233 Oh. 616 00:29:20,019 --> 00:29:21,629 Is that a bean? 617 00:29:21,672 --> 00:29:23,109 A pinto bean. 618 00:29:23,152 --> 00:29:25,111 It's, uh... It's from a chili. 619 00:29:25,154 --> 00:29:26,460 Oh. 620 00:29:32,683 --> 00:29:34,903 Um, anyway... 621 00:30:09,459 --> 00:30:11,461 Hello. 622 00:30:20,514 --> 00:30:22,864 I can't do it! What? 623 00:30:22,908 --> 00:30:24,910 I can't hurt him! 624 00:30:24,953 --> 00:30:28,087 You cooked him over a fire all night long. 625 00:30:28,130 --> 00:30:30,263 That was different. This is murder! 626 00:30:32,221 --> 00:30:35,921 We had a totally life-changing night together. 627 00:30:35,964 --> 00:30:38,140 You and the already-dead pig? 628 00:30:38,184 --> 00:30:39,750 Don't say it like that. 629 00:30:39,794 --> 00:30:41,491 You don't know. You weren't here. 630 00:30:42,536 --> 00:30:44,799 I slept here. 631 00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:46,148 But you were late. 632 00:30:46,192 --> 00:30:47,933 You totally missed the connection I had 633 00:30:47,976 --> 00:30:50,544 with this beautiful creature. 634 00:30:50,587 --> 00:30:53,547 We talked about real big-picture stuff, you know? 635 00:30:53,590 --> 00:30:55,636 Life. Love. 636 00:30:55,679 --> 00:30:57,768 How dudes who say they don't pee in the shower 637 00:30:57,812 --> 00:30:59,553 are definitely lying. 638 00:31:00,989 --> 00:31:02,686 Do you pee in the shower? 639 00:31:02,730 --> 00:31:04,210 No. 640 00:31:05,951 --> 00:31:07,561 Look, the point is, 641 00:31:07,604 --> 00:31:09,519 there's no way that I can cut up my best friend! 642 00:31:09,563 --> 00:31:12,522 Ok... Do you think that this might possibly be about Neil? 643 00:31:12,566 --> 00:31:14,263 Of course not. 644 00:31:14,307 --> 00:31:17,223 This is about my new friend, Piggy Stardust. 645 00:31:19,051 --> 00:31:22,968 And worse... about how, now I'm completely screwed 646 00:31:23,011 --> 00:31:24,795 because I got no meat for the chili! 647 00:31:24,839 --> 00:31:27,233 Just give them vegetarian chili. 648 00:31:27,276 --> 00:31:30,540 Vegetarian chili is worse than no chili at all. 649 00:31:30,584 --> 00:31:32,238 Nobody wants salad soup! 650 00:31:32,281 --> 00:31:34,240 Well, then, you'll just be 651 00:31:34,283 --> 00:31:36,043 the laughing stock of the whole neighborhood. 652 00:31:36,068 --> 00:31:38,200 You're right. 653 00:31:38,244 --> 00:31:39,636 Oh. 654 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:41,116 I won't be able to leave the house. 655 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,813 That's it. 656 00:31:42,857 --> 00:31:46,426 I'm gonna become a Kermit. A "Kermit"? 657 00:31:46,469 --> 00:31:49,168 Yeah... someone who's alone and inside all the time. 658 00:31:49,211 --> 00:31:51,561 Like Kermit always hiding from Miss Piggy. 659 00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:55,609 This is when you feel humiliation? 660 00:31:55,652 --> 00:31:57,959 You definitely pee in our shower. 661 00:31:58,003 --> 00:32:00,266 I'm never leaving this house again, 662 00:32:00,309 --> 00:32:03,312 and you're gonna be here right by my side the whole time. 663 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,272 In it till we kick it, baby! 664 00:32:06,315 --> 00:32:07,664 Lucky you. 665 00:32:07,708 --> 00:32:10,363 So lucky. 666 00:32:10,406 --> 00:32:12,843 Alright, I'm gonna go upstairs 667 00:32:12,887 --> 00:32:15,585 and stew this out over a bath. 668 00:32:18,632 --> 00:32:20,025 You're gonna have to come up in 45 669 00:32:20,068 --> 00:32:22,201 with a beer and a sandwich. Oh... 670 00:32:22,244 --> 00:32:24,420 Not that I need anyone! 671 00:32:40,871 --> 00:32:44,049 It's a dangerous thing, falsely accusing someone... 672 00:32:44,092 --> 00:32:46,312 Especially a guy high up in the community. 673 00:32:46,355 --> 00:32:48,053 Good job, family. 674 00:32:48,096 --> 00:32:50,707 Might as well accuse Father O'Donnell 675 00:32:50,751 --> 00:32:51,795 of peddling pills. 676 00:32:51,839 --> 00:32:53,884 So, please, keep in mind, 677 00:32:53,928 --> 00:32:55,408 if you're full of crap, 678 00:32:55,451 --> 00:32:57,801 no one would think twice about sending you to Walpole. 679 00:32:57,845 --> 00:32:59,692 And I'll tell my friends over there that you touch little kids. 680 00:33:02,806 --> 00:33:04,895 I swear on my mother's life, 681 00:33:04,939 --> 00:33:06,810 this is the guy you're looking for, okay? 682 00:33:06,854 --> 00:33:08,073 Who am I? I'm nobody. 683 00:33:08,116 --> 00:33:09,726 Whoever ratted me out, like... 684 00:33:09,770 --> 00:33:11,902 Listen, pal, the amount of stuff you got caught with, 685 00:33:11,946 --> 00:33:13,730 that's an intent to distribute. 686 00:33:13,774 --> 00:33:15,341 Forget intent to distribute. 687 00:33:15,384 --> 00:33:17,430 It's like Black Friday in there. 688 00:33:17,473 --> 00:33:20,955 Yeah, we'll see. 689 00:33:28,528 --> 00:33:30,158 Terrance: If you have any questions, give me a call. 690 00:33:31,574 --> 00:33:33,794 Hey, buddy. 691 00:33:34,882 --> 00:33:36,362 How can I help you? 692 00:33:36,405 --> 00:33:38,364 Uh, it's Monday. 693 00:33:38,407 --> 00:33:40,540 I'm here for the generics. 694 00:33:40,583 --> 00:33:42,672 You're not supposed to call. 695 00:33:42,716 --> 00:33:44,674 I know. I know, I'm sorry. 696 00:33:44,718 --> 00:33:47,199 It was a huge mistake. It won't happen again. 697 00:33:50,724 --> 00:33:52,552 Terrance. 698 00:33:52,595 --> 00:33:54,075 Please. 699 00:33:57,992 --> 00:33:59,254 Thank you, Terrance. 700 00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:02,301 I love you, Terrance. 701 00:34:04,955 --> 00:34:07,436 Oh. Hey. 702 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,003 Hey. 703 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:10,831 Back for more Lipitor, huh? 704 00:34:12,137 --> 00:34:14,791 Maybe it's all those, uh, carbs and animal fat. 705 00:34:16,532 --> 00:34:19,274 S... Listen, last night, 706 00:34:19,318 --> 00:34:21,972 I think I just got confused, right? 707 00:34:22,016 --> 00:34:23,167 Because we had... 708 00:34:23,191 --> 00:34:24,975 Officer: Worcester PD! 709 00:34:25,019 --> 00:34:28,153 Everybody stay where you are. 710 00:34:28,196 --> 00:34:30,155 Sir, put your hands behind your back. 711 00:34:30,198 --> 00:34:31,765 Don't move. 712 00:34:31,808 --> 00:34:33,419 You're under arrest. 713 00:34:33,462 --> 00:34:35,377 You have the right to remain silent. 714 00:34:35,421 --> 00:34:36,987 Anything you say can and will be used... 715 00:34:43,037 --> 00:34:45,431 Well, they say witnesses can't leave 716 00:34:45,474 --> 00:34:48,173 for another 45, at least, so... 717 00:34:48,216 --> 00:34:51,219 Great. 718 00:34:51,263 --> 00:34:52,742 Oh, here. 719 00:34:52,786 --> 00:34:55,310 I'm not cold. 720 00:34:55,354 --> 00:34:56,877 Okay. 721 00:35:02,491 --> 00:35:04,885 That was insane. 722 00:35:04,928 --> 00:35:07,148 It was terrifying. 723 00:35:08,454 --> 00:35:10,847 Yeah. 724 00:35:10,891 --> 00:35:14,242 It reminded me of this one 4th of July when I was a kid. 725 00:35:14,286 --> 00:35:16,636 I couldn't have been more than 3, 726 00:35:16,679 --> 00:35:20,466 and my parents took me into town to see the fireworks. 727 00:35:20,509 --> 00:35:22,642 Dad put me up on his shoulders. 728 00:35:22,685 --> 00:35:24,252 They started up... 729 00:35:24,296 --> 00:35:27,777 These huge explosions right above us. 730 00:35:27,821 --> 00:35:30,215 I remember thinking, like, 731 00:35:30,258 --> 00:35:33,043 "The world is on fire." 732 00:35:33,087 --> 00:35:36,046 Sound hit me in my chest. 733 00:35:36,090 --> 00:35:37,787 Smoke was in my eyes. 734 00:35:37,831 --> 00:35:40,225 Everybody just laughing and smiling. 735 00:35:40,268 --> 00:35:43,793 Like, they didn't understand. 736 00:35:45,534 --> 00:35:47,362 This was the end. 737 00:35:48,668 --> 00:35:50,931 Kurt, what the hell are you doing? 738 00:35:50,974 --> 00:35:52,628 Being that close to death 739 00:35:52,672 --> 00:35:55,501 makes you think... really... 740 00:35:55,544 --> 00:35:57,677 About what's important 741 00:35:57,720 --> 00:36:00,767 and what you can't live without. 742 00:36:00,810 --> 00:36:02,334 And, Patty... 743 00:36:03,683 --> 00:36:05,163 Oh. 744 00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:08,601 I can't live without you a-and your chimichangas. 745 00:36:18,872 --> 00:36:20,830 Okay, it's Monday. 746 00:36:20,874 --> 00:36:22,832 Time... 747 00:36:22,876 --> 00:36:25,835 Whoa. You okay? 748 00:36:25,879 --> 00:36:27,272 Rough morning. 749 00:36:27,315 --> 00:36:29,839 Ye... Well, I guess that, but, how? 750 00:36:29,883 --> 00:36:31,232 What happened? You okay? 751 00:36:32,625 --> 00:36:35,628 Okay, what's with all the questions all the time? 752 00:36:35,671 --> 00:36:39,153 I... W... I don't ask you stuff to piss you off. 753 00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:41,547 I just want to know the answers. 754 00:36:44,593 --> 00:36:45,899 Why? 755 00:36:46,943 --> 00:36:48,554 Because 756 00:36:48,597 --> 00:36:51,252 uh, I thought I knew your whole thing. 757 00:36:52,688 --> 00:36:55,430 We practically spent the last 10 years 758 00:36:55,474 --> 00:36:56,910 in the same room, 759 00:36:56,953 --> 00:36:58,322 but no one knows that I'm buying drugs, 760 00:36:58,346 --> 00:36:59,869 and I'm guessing that no one knows 761 00:36:59,913 --> 00:37:02,089 that you're selling them. 762 00:37:02,132 --> 00:37:05,310 Unless Kurt's some kind of secret drug mule. 763 00:37:06,746 --> 00:37:08,574 No. 764 00:37:08,617 --> 00:37:11,881 He has no idea. 765 00:37:16,930 --> 00:37:19,324 If he did, 766 00:37:19,367 --> 00:37:25,330 he probably wouldn't have, like, proposed. 767 00:37:25,373 --> 00:37:27,854 Wha... Ser... 768 00:37:31,901 --> 00:37:33,729 Seriously? 769 00:37:35,165 --> 00:37:36,732 Yeah. 770 00:37:36,776 --> 00:37:38,343 Ooh. 771 00:37:38,386 --> 00:37:41,824 Um, what does the ring look like? 772 00:37:41,868 --> 00:37:43,304 There was no ring. 773 00:37:43,348 --> 00:37:45,915 It was in the parking lot of the pharmacy. 774 00:37:45,959 --> 00:37:47,613 That... 775 00:37:47,656 --> 00:37:48,962 Hmm. 776 00:37:49,005 --> 00:37:50,703 Yeah, m-minutes after we were caught 777 00:37:50,746 --> 00:37:52,922 in the middle of a drug raid. 778 00:37:52,966 --> 00:37:54,794 At the pharmacy? 779 00:37:54,837 --> 00:37:56,622 Was that your... 780 00:37:56,665 --> 00:38:00,190 Yep, my friend was hauled off in a pair of handcuffs 781 00:38:00,234 --> 00:38:03,368 and my stash is in an evidence bag somewhere. 782 00:38:03,411 --> 00:38:06,284 And that's when Kurt decided to propose. 783 00:38:07,981 --> 00:38:11,593 Okay, uh, so, does that mean that y-you're... 784 00:38:11,637 --> 00:38:14,161 I'm out. Dry. No pills. 785 00:38:14,204 --> 00:38:16,294 Nothing. God damn it. 786 00:38:16,337 --> 00:38:18,687 Well, hey, it's not my fault. 787 00:38:20,472 --> 00:38:21,971 Blame the corner-kid-asshole at the auto body 788 00:38:21,995 --> 00:38:23,344 who got arrested 789 00:38:23,388 --> 00:38:26,042 and gave up the area's only supplier. 790 00:38:27,435 --> 00:38:28,828 Maybe this is good. 791 00:38:28,871 --> 00:38:30,656 This whole s... Like, selling this shit... 792 00:38:30,699 --> 00:38:31,744 It's too much trouble. 793 00:38:31,787 --> 00:38:33,311 Bu... No. 794 00:38:33,354 --> 00:38:34,636 I was close to going off the rails. 795 00:38:34,660 --> 00:38:37,271 My hair's startin' to break from the stress. 796 00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:38,422 Hey, we can't give up on this. 797 00:38:38,446 --> 00:38:40,013 Okay? 798 00:38:40,056 --> 00:38:42,972 I-I can't deal with going home right now, 799 00:38:43,016 --> 00:38:46,585 so, um, why don't we grab a bite and... 800 00:38:46,628 --> 00:38:50,066 Real food... And just talk about it? 801 00:38:51,503 --> 00:38:53,461 I have to get home to Neil. 802 00:38:53,505 --> 00:38:55,420 When he deep-fried the turkey, 803 00:38:55,463 --> 00:38:58,379 it exploded and burnt up his arms. 804 00:38:58,423 --> 00:39:00,425 This goddamn chili. 805 00:39:00,468 --> 00:39:02,557 He didn't even make the chili. 806 00:39:02,601 --> 00:39:04,429 Just a pile of deep-fried turkey 807 00:39:04,472 --> 00:39:06,431 sittin' on the kitchen counter. 808 00:39:06,474 --> 00:39:09,303 I can smell it from downstairs. 809 00:39:12,741 --> 00:39:16,528 I think I know how to make both our lives easier. 810 00:39:18,878 --> 00:39:21,359 We just have to make them think that it's their 811 00:39:21,402 --> 00:39:23,012 brilliant idea to merge ingredients. 812 00:39:24,536 --> 00:39:26,625 My lame-ass batch of vegetarian stew... 813 00:39:26,668 --> 00:39:29,323 And my gorgeous pile of manly meat. 814 00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:31,238 Into the greatest friendship chili 815 00:39:31,281 --> 00:39:32,718 this world has ever tasted. 816 00:39:32,761 --> 00:39:34,372 Well, I gotta give this a little test. 817 00:39:34,415 --> 00:39:35,740 W... No, no, no, no. Pete, I love you, 818 00:39:35,764 --> 00:39:37,481 but you smell like the pellets at a petting zoo, 819 00:39:37,505 --> 00:39:39,812 and I need you to stay five feet away from the chili. 820 00:39:41,335 --> 00:39:42,423 Well, how is that okay? 821 00:39:42,467 --> 00:39:44,120 Because it's my chili. 822 00:39:44,164 --> 00:39:46,471 I'm sorry. 823 00:39:46,514 --> 00:39:48,037 Ourchili. 824 00:39:48,081 --> 00:39:49,450 I'm so glad we were both man enough to admit 825 00:39:49,474 --> 00:39:50,953 we need each other. 826 00:39:50,997 --> 00:39:54,043 In a totally normal way. In a totally normal way. 827 00:39:54,087 --> 00:39:56,065 You ask me, you could both do with some more time apart. 828 00:39:56,089 --> 00:39:57,482 No.No, no, no. 829 00:39:57,525 --> 00:40:00,354 No, he... Kevin needs a Neil. 830 00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:01,505 We've already begun planning 831 00:40:01,529 --> 00:40:03,183 to make up for the lost goofin' time. 832 00:40:03,226 --> 00:40:05,490 Yeah, water balloon fight. Then, "Ace Ventura" marathon 833 00:40:05,533 --> 00:40:07,970 followed by one of our epic games of hide and seek. 834 00:40:08,014 --> 00:40:10,538 Allison, you might not see me for the next 24 hours. 835 00:40:10,582 --> 00:40:12,540 Oh, no! 836 00:40:12,584 --> 00:40:15,282 But first, let's get this chili to the Renzulli Brothers. 837 00:40:15,325 --> 00:40:16,675 To the Kev-mobile! 838 00:40:16,718 --> 00:40:18,503 Let's go. 839 00:40:18,546 --> 00:40:19,765 Come on. Left. Ow. Ow. 840 00:40:19,808 --> 00:40:21,070 Left. Ow. 841 00:40:21,114 --> 00:40:23,290 Left. Keep going. Ow! 842 00:40:26,206 --> 00:40:28,121 It's looking at me. 843 00:40:28,164 --> 00:40:30,558 Yeah, it does that. 844 00:40:32,386 --> 00:40:34,997 So, I guess they just assume you'll clean it up. 845 00:40:35,041 --> 00:40:37,173 Okay, what are we gonna do about this? 846 00:40:38,566 --> 00:40:41,787 Chainsaw? N... I mean the pills. 847 00:40:41,830 --> 00:40:44,093 Listen, Allison, I already told you at the salon. 848 00:40:44,137 --> 00:40:46,487 I'm out, okay? Patty, you don't understand. 849 00:40:46,531 --> 00:40:48,315 I need this, and you're m... 850 00:40:48,358 --> 00:40:49,795 The only one that can help. 851 00:40:49,838 --> 00:40:51,361 Okay, you know what? 852 00:40:51,405 --> 00:40:53,407 We're sharing so much now? You like answers? 853 00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:55,104 So do I. 854 00:40:55,148 --> 00:40:57,367 Why do you actually need these? 855 00:40:57,411 --> 00:40:59,021 What the hell's been going on with you? 856 00:40:59,065 --> 00:41:02,111 I just... 857 00:41:02,155 --> 00:41:05,767 I'm in a really bad place. 858 00:41:05,811 --> 00:41:08,814 The night that you told me that Kevin drained the account, 859 00:41:08,857 --> 00:41:11,120 I lost it. 860 00:41:11,164 --> 00:41:13,819 I went on a bender. 861 00:41:13,862 --> 00:41:16,125 That powder that you wiped off my face, 862 00:41:16,169 --> 00:41:18,127 that was coke. 863 00:41:18,171 --> 00:41:19,564 "Cain." 864 00:41:19,607 --> 00:41:21,740 Ye... I know what you meant. 865 00:41:21,783 --> 00:41:24,003 Somethin' in me just snapped, 866 00:41:24,046 --> 00:41:27,572 and I made this decision. 867 00:41:27,615 --> 00:41:30,226 I don't know if I should tell you. 868 00:41:35,449 --> 00:41:40,149 Um, I got blackout drunk, 869 00:41:40,193 --> 00:41:41,847 and apparently, 870 00:41:41,890 --> 00:41:44,414 I stole a bunch of oxys from this guy at a bar. 871 00:41:44,458 --> 00:41:46,591 I was so drunk, I don't even remember his name. 872 00:41:46,634 --> 00:41:49,419 It was, um, Jason, maybe. 873 00:41:49,463 --> 00:41:51,596 And they must be hard to get, 874 00:41:51,639 --> 00:41:52,877 because he won't take money for them, 875 00:41:52,901 --> 00:41:57,602 and he said that I g... I'd better get more. 876 00:41:57,645 --> 00:42:01,388 Patty, I screwed up, and I'm scared. 877 00:42:01,431 --> 00:42:03,259 Please. 878 00:42:06,436 --> 00:42:09,178 Okay. I... 879 00:42:09,222 --> 00:42:11,441 I got no guarantee. 880 00:42:11,485 --> 00:42:15,271 But I may have a connection in Vermont. 881 00:42:15,315 --> 00:42:16,901 I'll make a few phone calls. Oh, thank you. 882 00:42:16,925 --> 00:42:18,318 Well, don't thank me yet. 883 00:42:18,361 --> 00:42:20,886 I mean, if this works, I'll go up there soon. 884 00:42:20,929 --> 00:42:22,627 But even if I get anything, 885 00:42:22,670 --> 00:42:24,367 I'm using this pipeline once, okay? 886 00:42:24,411 --> 00:42:26,065 Of course, of course. 887 00:42:26,108 --> 00:42:27,457 I'll get your stuff 888 00:42:27,501 --> 00:42:28,652 and enough to wean my clients off, 889 00:42:28,676 --> 00:42:30,199 and then, I'm done. 890 00:42:30,243 --> 00:42:31,723 Yes, sure. 891 00:42:31,766 --> 00:42:34,290 And I think you should come with me. 892 00:42:36,641 --> 00:42:38,207 Really? 893 00:42:39,861 --> 00:42:41,210 I need a car. 894 00:42:41,254 --> 00:42:42,777 You can borrow Kevin's. 895 00:42:44,083 --> 00:42:45,824 Oh. Okay. 896 00:42:45,867 --> 00:42:47,652 Yeah, okay. 897 00:42:47,695 --> 00:42:50,045 We'll... We'll go together. 898 00:42:54,528 --> 00:42:56,661 God, it smells like death out here. 899 00:43:05,017 --> 00:43:07,628 On the next "Kevin Can Himself"... 900 00:43:07,672 --> 00:43:09,499 I can't live like this anymore. 901 00:43:09,543 --> 00:43:11,893 I can't.Kevin: Allison's cute and all, 902 00:43:11,937 --> 00:43:14,287 but sometimes I think she thinks I'm an idiot. 903 00:43:14,330 --> 00:43:16,289 The world revolves around him. 904 00:43:16,332 --> 00:43:17,943 I really need those pills. 905 00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:21,381 Patty O'Connor? Detective Tammy Ridgeway. 906 00:43:21,424 --> 00:43:23,688 Worcester PD.We're not bonding, okay? 907 00:43:23,731 --> 00:43:25,298 They're looking to trade. 908 00:43:25,341 --> 00:43:26,647 Oh. 909 00:43:26,691 --> 00:43:27,735 Allison? 910 00:43:27,779 --> 00:43:29,519 It's going to be fine.