0
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Varez presents
IRWAREZ.COM

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What if you were a man?

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Was a woman attracted to you?

3
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They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

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In this case, Lord

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In this case, Raj

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Wow!

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how are you

8
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Orgasm is very noisy

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You know, that is

10
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"Aaaaaah!"

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the narrator

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A silent but deadly secret

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And tonight's loser must confess

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Breaking news... we are in the street as a field reporter

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And we're trying to - get quotes from people

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About our news

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The point is that we questions

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We wrote each other

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So until we go out - we don't know what to say

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And the goal is to have courage

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to ask questions

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which are in your sheet

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If you refuse, you lose

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Can I have a quick look?

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No, no!

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oh god

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Let's go to have it

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Q: Let's go to page 3

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Go to page 3 and ask him

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That question, okay?

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My name is James

32
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I am writing an article for a newspaper

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The issue is about the rules

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related to sex

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Do you believe the aggressors?

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Sex must be forced

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Introduce yourself?

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yes - - Yes

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ok - Well, I'm James Murray

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sorry sir - I am a reporter

41
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The topic is about

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Space discoveries

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Given that space exploration

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An industry worth billions of dollars

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do you

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Do you, um?

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Do it, do it, - do it!

48
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Given that space exploration

49
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An industry worth billions of dollars

50
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Do you have any interest?

51
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To become an astronaut?

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Moore: Not really?

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thank you very much Come on!

54
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I can say this forever

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Man: I got you, buddy

56
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I'm ready to go, guys

57
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You have even a second

58
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Can you give me a quote?

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I am a journalist who has a

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Oh, no problem

61
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No part of Queen can

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Make a reliable sentence

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I'm a reporter who has a, um, um, - article

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You have one second

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Can you give me a quick quote?

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OK, fine

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Wow, well, it's about health

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Feminine, so this

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This is really right now

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suitable

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Well, do you

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Do you think that, um

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Well, let's see

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ask - Do you want to ask?

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Go ahead and ask

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Dude translated it!

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Breast... Breast prosthesis

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Did you get breast implants?

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no - Okay, okay, then no

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All right, all right, hey, guys

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thank you very much

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My editor likes this

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I'm telling you this right now

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how are you - I have a quick question for you

85
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Well, it's about the weather

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The story I'm working on is about the weather

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When people say the weather is hot...

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When people say

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"It's hot in here."

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How hot do you think a regular ball is?

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You know, when they say—“Oh

92
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It's hot like an oven here." - Do you understand what I mean?

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How much is that ball?

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is it hot

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80? - 80 degree ball?

96
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What do you do as a parent?

97
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What if your child is really a bitch?

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What if you were a man?

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Was a woman attracted to you?

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Should I put a tag on my penis?

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In Facebook photos?

102
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I am today

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I am a report

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Well, you two just said it

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Of course in English.

106
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Do you think it's time?

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to put a toilet

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In subway cars?

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because i don't want

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My pants again...

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no

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Excuse me, can I ask you a question?

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for sure

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It is about prostitution

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America

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in the United States

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yes

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How much do you think?

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in your opinion

120
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How much does an ordinary person need?

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one

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The white man must pay for

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Hindjab?

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A normal white man

125
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yes - - Yes

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Oh, hi, mom

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how are you

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Q: Now ask mom the question

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But you know what?

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I decided not to worry

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Have you decided to give up?

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Right now, yeah

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Joe: Yeah, chick

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Tonight's main news... - Two losers

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I think about the long-term game

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We have the short term game. - We are good

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We are in the passage, - pretending to be cartoonists

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Yeah, you know those things - that kill when e.g

139
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Big head - and small body?

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The drawings are already drawn - for us

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But we don't know what they look like

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So the first time we show it to a customer

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This is the first time we see them ourselves.

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Aiming for a tip.

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If you don't get a tip

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you lose

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Free cartoons guys!

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did you do

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yes

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OK, here you go.

151
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Let me take good care of you.

152
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I think...

153
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are you flirting with me

154
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Joe: Moore is in love now.

155
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Okay Moore, flirt with her later. Let's focus.

156
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So, how old do you think I am?

157
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He says he is 48 years old, friend.

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Yala Moore!

159
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Tell him, "You know, I learned that in art school."

160
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I learned this in art school.

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Really kicked me out of art school.

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But somehow I got out of there, yes.

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for grinding myself to

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Statues.

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I got kicked out of art school for rubbing myself on sculptures.

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Oh God!

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But you should have seen that David.

168
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But you should have seen it

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That David.

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Oh God!

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I will make you look great.

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Maybe even a copy

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I will keep this for my fantasy files.

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I make it seem like

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So good, in fact

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Maybe even a copy

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Keep it for my files, you know?

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My fantasy files.

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My fantasy files.

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Let me take a look at it.

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And let's see what came out of the water.

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Joe: Murray has never seen this photo before.

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This is the first time

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He is seeing it.

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Oh!

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This is... Oh God.

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oh

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Sorry it's white.

189
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Now this is free.

190
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Of course we accept tip.

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I really need a new job.

192
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If you don't want to, you don't have to, of course.

193
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No tip, no tip. Forever!

194
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Do you want to tip him?

195
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He is giving him a tip.

196
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you are hot

197
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I am happy

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Do you want your hair open? - Yes, relax.

199
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Anyway, you're comfortable.

200
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please - It's fine.

201
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Oh, your hair... smells awful.

202
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Your hair smells horrible. - I can feel Bush from here as well.

203
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It tastes like fresh taco meat.

204
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like...

205
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Fresh taco meat.

206
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And your work is done.

207
00:06:46,733 --> 00:06:47,777
a moment

208
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Let's take a look here.

209
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Oh, oh

210
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well

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This is a...

212
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...little caricature,

213
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which we drew just for you today.

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Tada!

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This is yours to take.

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and well,

217
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You know, we don't get paid.

218
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But every small tip is very welcome.

219
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So you're not even going to take a picture?

220
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ok

221
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Yes!

222
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TB: Joe didn't get anything.

223
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hello

224
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Yeah, right there.

225
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Let me prepare myself here.

226
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"How much of this Cleveland, Ohio do you want me to give you?"

227
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And point to her chest.

228
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Just, um...

229
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how much...

230
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How much of this Cleveland, Ohio...

231
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Do you want me to leave it for you?

232
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yes

233
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Just one last...

234
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I think you will like it.

235
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look

236
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This is from him.

237
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Well, it's free.

238
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Oh!

239
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Oh! $5?

240
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I will sign it for you.

241
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Joe: I can't believe it.

242
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Well, go take care of them.

243
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Van Gogh

244
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,177
Do you want a...

245
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...have a free cartoon today?

246
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what is your name

247
00:08:04,867 --> 00:08:05,633
Hey, I'm Salam.

248
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Sel: Please sit down.

249
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"They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

250
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They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

251
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"In this case, wow."

252
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In this case, Raj.

253
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Wow!

254
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Well, let me see...

255
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What do we have?

256
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Well, Raj.

257
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oh

258
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Raj

259
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What do you say, friend?

260
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,067
This is my impression of you.

261
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A sense of a real dictator...

262
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...I was getting from you...

263
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...who is eating fruit.

264
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Tips are welcome. - Whatever you feel.

265
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what does it give you - What is in your hand there?

266
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:48,110
5 dollars. - Thank you very much.

267
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,443
How do you give him 5 dollars? - I don't know!

268
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Hitler is a banana.

269
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As if... - -Yes.

270
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Thank you very much.

271
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Stupid $5.

272
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Narrator: Barley, Myr and Sel...

273
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...they all hang out in the "Loser's Center".

274
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We are looking for a new roommate.

275
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Yes, we are going to interview strangers.

276
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And make sure that they have no problem with the strange habits of our life.

277
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For some reason, - no one answered Q's ad.

278
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,811
So this damn lucky...

279
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...he will be excused this time.

280
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A little tidbit... Joe and I - we're actually roommates.

281
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,110
A bigger point... - I want a new roommate.

282
00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:21,400
Hey, Tim, how are you?

283
00:09:21,467 --> 00:09:22,809
Nice to see you, friend. - You are welcome.

284
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come you

285
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thank you friend - Thank you

286
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:26,976
That's why I don't want to lose it.

287
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,643
So I'm just looking for a new roommate.

288
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:30,600
Well, this is the living room.

289
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:31,800
You know, the kitchen.

290
00:09:31,867 --> 00:09:33,477
That's where the boy is going.

291
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:35,177
Mr.

292
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:36,833
next to the bathroom

293
00:09:35,201 --> 00:09:36,900
Joey, show him the table we left.

294
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:38,000
it is here

295
00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:40,867
This chart is your daily toileting.

296
00:09:40,933 --> 00:09:42,777
And here it is... - our user manual.

297
00:09:42,867 --> 00:09:44,233
This is a shared bathroom.

298
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:49,133
You know, I just log in and out.

299
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,877
Everything - has been very tight lately.

300
00:09:50,967 --> 00:09:52,677
wait a moment -

301
00:09:52,767 --> 00:09:54,677
Yeah, well... - - That's very detailed.

302
00:09:54,767 --> 00:09:56,267
This is a notebook to record my toilet work.

303
00:09:57,367 --> 00:09:58,376
What about your sleeping habits?

304
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,609
Are you a light or heavy sleeper?

305
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:00,800
I think it is very heavy.

306
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,200
"Look, I sleep naked."

307
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:03,527
It gets hot up there too.

308
00:10:03,551 --> 00:10:04,833
That's why I sleep naked.

309
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,367
"And I walk in my sleep."

310
00:10:06,433 --> 00:10:08,027
And I walk in my sleep, so if the head

311
00:10:08,051 --> 00:10:09,667
I took it off in your bedroom, don't wake me up.

312
00:10:09,733 --> 00:10:10,967
it is dangerous

313
00:10:11,033 --> 00:10:12,267
ok

314
00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:14,400
"I have really long orgasms."

315
00:10:14,467 --> 00:10:15,700
It's a little embarrassing.

316
00:10:15,767 --> 00:10:17,777
But hey, hey

317
00:10:17,801 --> 00:10:19,833
I have very long orgasms.

318
00:10:21,233 --> 00:10:23,800
Well, show me.

319
00:10:23,867 --> 00:10:25,811
It's like... you know?

320
00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:27,800
This is how...

321
00:10:27,867 --> 00:10:30,600
"Aaaaaah!"

322
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:32,144
Okay, dude, well...

323
00:10:32,168 --> 00:10:33,667
I just want to know you...

324
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,367
do you like to live here

325
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,300
I think we can be roommates.

326
00:10:39,367 --> 00:10:41,127
This is great.

327
00:10:41,151 --> 00:10:42,933
Oh!

328
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,267
I am really stressed.

329
00:10:45,733 --> 00:10:46,610
Give him a loose handshake.

330
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:47,600
how is everything

331
00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:48,909
I'm glad to see you - - I'm lucky.

332
00:10:48,933 --> 00:10:50,209
I am happy - I am happy

333
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,343
how are you - Hello how are you

334
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:52,876
Joe: - Now quickly go to the bedroom.

335
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:54,300
Walk fast!

336
00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:55,876
Um, and let me show you the bedroom.

337
00:11:00,467 --> 00:11:01,661
"I am also a psychologist

338
00:11:01,685 --> 00:11:02,900
And they say I am a probation officer

339
00:11:02,967 --> 00:11:04,243
I'm ready for a roommate again."

340
00:11:04,267 --> 00:11:05,467
Yes, this is wonderful.

341
00:11:05,533 --> 00:11:07,443
Because they say that I am both a psychologist and a probation officer

342
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,009
I'm ready for a roommate again, so...

343
00:11:09,033 --> 00:11:10,367
ok

344
00:11:10,433 --> 00:11:11,894
So, you are a psychologist and probation officer...

345
00:11:11,918 --> 00:11:13,400
What... what happened?

346
00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:14,600
Ah, the story is long.

347
00:11:16,533 --> 00:11:18,309
Why don't you sit here on the couch?

348
00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:19,973
Mer: - Now walk fast in the kitchen.

349
00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:26,567
"What is this?"

350
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:29,780
Man: - Well, what are you doing?

351
00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:31,109
Slowly lift the glass higher and higher.

352
00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:32,133
As you talk to them.

353
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,194
Well, I mean, I work.

354
00:11:33,218 --> 00:11:34,233
I am here very little.

355
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:36,344
I am out of town a lot.

356
00:11:36,368 --> 00:11:38,433
So you have to...

357
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,843
You know, just hanging out and stuff.

358
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,011
And I, for example, for

359
00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:42,200
I was gone for three weeks.

360
00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:44,577
But, well, usually, you know, fifty...

361
00:11:44,601 --> 00:11:46,933
I work sixty hours a week.

362
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,309
Joe: Sal, do you think you can keep talking?

363
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,533
Take the water from it.

364
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,576
And just hold both hands up with glasses of water?

365
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,733
yes

366
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,376
He told me the same thing.

367
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,444
He said the same thing.

368
00:11:55,468 --> 00:11:56,533
ummm

369
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,800
Just sit on the floor.

370
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,233
Lie down on the floor.

371
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,309
Did you see other places in the neighborhood?

372
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,367
that are comparable?

373
00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:17,433
Start pulling yourself back.

374
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:18,877
atmosphere

375
00:12:18,901 --> 00:12:20,300
Just keep your distance.

376
00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:23,210
Get away as far as you can.

377
00:12:23,234 --> 00:12:24,333
It's great here.

378
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,494
I like to just, well, see...

379
00:12:26,518 --> 00:12:28,633
Everything I can and...

380
00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:29,700
I am completely relaxed and cool.

381
00:12:29,767 --> 00:12:31,027
For example, I am a quiet person.

382
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,333
I like to have fun.

383
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:33,677
so you are ready

384
00:12:33,701 --> 00:12:35,000
For moving or...

385
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:41,711
Joe: Okay, let's see, sir

386
00:12:41,735 --> 00:12:42,967
It can get a roommate.

387
00:12:43,033 --> 00:12:43,833
Hello, friend.

388
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:44,976
James. - I am happy

389
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,176
how are you - What is your name?

390
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,577
sedan Thank you for coming.

391
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,344
please - - What are you doing, buddy?

392
00:12:49,433 --> 00:12:50,944
I am in stock business - in this neighborhood.

393
00:12:51,033 --> 00:12:52,333
Sir, show as much excitement.

394
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:53,844
I'm originally from - Barrow Park.

395
00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:55,344
are you serious - - Yes!

396
00:12:55,433 --> 00:12:57,044
Yeah, dude!

397
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,700
Great, brother!

398
00:12:58,767 --> 00:12:59,967
Great!

399
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,944
Mer does not know what to do now.

400
00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:06,367
Mer came

401
00:13:08,733 --> 00:13:10,043
Follow me, follow me, - follow me!

402
00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:11,543
Follow me, buddy. - Dad, this is a monster!

403
00:13:11,567 --> 00:13:12,900
We have the kitchen this way.

404
00:13:12,967 --> 00:13:14,077
You know, we have...

405
00:13:14,101 --> 00:13:15,233
This is the bedroom closet.

406
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:16,860
- Now let's go back to that one room.

407
00:13:16,933 --> 00:13:18,310
And here we can calculate

408
00:13:18,334 --> 00:13:19,733
For example, let's have a party here.

409
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,177
We can... I'm serious.

410
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,600
We can leave, buddy.

411
00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:23,967
Do you understand what I'm saying?

412
00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:25,444
Sidan: - I love this boy.

413
00:13:25,533 --> 00:13:27,000
Jump on the furniture.

414
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,300
You are the best!

415
00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:41,976
so what do you say - Do you want to move here?

416
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,244
Yes!

417
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:45,867
Calm down, brainiac.

418
00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:47,277
as if it has

419
00:13:47,301 --> 00:13:48,667
He wants to get up.

420
00:13:48,733 --> 00:13:50,710
I'm so glad I didn't have to do any of this.

421
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,044
how funny

422
00:13:52,068 --> 00:13:53,333
Do this on national television.

423
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,761
Narrator: Sal found a good place...

424
00:13:54,785 --> 00:13:56,167
A small cozy place.

425
00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:58,633
The last step.

426
00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,176
Here we are at the front of the longest line - Manhattan.

427
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,944
Mer: These people

428
00:14:01,968 --> 00:14:03,733
Standing in line for hours

429
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:04,827
to get a discounted ticket.

430
00:14:04,851 --> 00:14:05,900
Broadway ticket.

431
00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:07,577
What should we do, gentlemen?

432
00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:08,700
Hit that line.

433
00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:10,076
You have to get those tickets.

434
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:13,027
If they throw you out of line...

435
00:14:13,051 --> 00:14:16,000
you lose

436
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:17,061
Joe: This is Murray.

437
00:14:17,085 --> 00:14:18,100
he is going

438
00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:19,644
Sal: It is going straight.

439
00:14:19,668 --> 00:14:21,167
Oh God!

440
00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:23,467
Q: And you left.

441
00:14:25,467 --> 00:14:26,844
He died in shock

442
00:14:26,868 --> 00:14:28,267
And he said nothing.

443
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:29,843
On the one hand, I want Murray to be arrested.

444
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,244
A part of it? - all of me

445
00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:33,694
all my being

446
00:14:33,718 --> 00:14:35,100
I want Murray to be arrested.

447
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:37,177
I can't believe how much

448
00:14:37,201 --> 00:14:39,233
moved forward

449
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:40,467
He eats people.

450
00:14:40,533 --> 00:14:41,577
As he is doing this.

451
00:14:41,601 --> 00:14:42,667
That's Alki's job of taking a picture.

452
00:14:42,733 --> 00:14:44,477
excuse me - Excuse me.

453
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:45,644
[ Record hissing sound

454
00:14:46,833 --> 00:14:48,393
oh - Leaked.

455
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:55,310
We... - We are just friends now.

456
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,077
We were together before, - and now...

457
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:58,200
He is no longer with me at all.

458
00:14:58,267 --> 00:14:59,327
he doesn't want

459
00:14:59,351 --> 00:15:00,433
be with me

460
00:15:02,633 --> 00:15:04,576
I know, but the problem with our relationship - it's not really something that...

461
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,733
I want to talk about it.

462
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,367
i know

463
00:15:09,433 --> 00:15:11,010
- Look at his face!

464
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,460
No, no. - Not at all and never, not at all.

465
00:15:13,133 --> 00:15:13,900
I'm leaving here.

466
00:15:13,967 --> 00:15:15,710
All: Oh! -

467
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,077
Joe: - Yes, the year is going.

468
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,994
Q: This is the worst thing

469
00:15:21,018 --> 00:15:22,867
in the world

470
00:15:22,933 --> 00:15:24,693
Joe: Oh, he wants to try - do that "unclip" thing.

471
00:15:24,767 --> 00:15:26,211
I think it does this

472
00:15:26,235 --> 00:15:27,700
He is doing wrong.

473
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,567
Oh, I digress.

474
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:35,943
I went forward, then - I came back from the side.

475
00:15:35,967 --> 00:15:37,311
And I came from Onur again.

476
00:15:37,335 --> 00:15:38,700
And finally I arrived here.

477
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:40,733
Oh God!

478
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,200
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

479
00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,067
Q: Now you fell into the trap.

480
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:53,533
No, these are my good friends.

481
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:54,477
Everyone here is my friend.

482
00:15:56,867 --> 00:15:58,544
Tell him - that we are together.

483
00:15:58,633 --> 00:16:01,100
Tell him we are together.

484
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:04,500
no, m-m-m-I...

485
00:16:04,567 --> 00:16:06,233
No, what actually happened...

486
00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:12,367
This is gone.

487
00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:13,833
excuse me

488
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:15,211
Larry?!

489
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:16,567
Larry?!

490
00:16:16,633 --> 00:16:19,433
I was calling you, Larry!

491
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:20,600
Larry!

492
00:16:21,633 --> 00:16:22,933
There is a whole...

493
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:23,733
He had...

494
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:27,400
Larry!

495
00:16:27,467 --> 00:16:28,867
Larry!

496
00:16:28,933 --> 00:16:31,010
He is hitting the whole queue.

497
00:16:31,034 --> 00:16:33,133
Just by yelling "Larry."

498
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,733
Larry!

499
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,444
Larry! - Larry!

500
00:16:36,533 --> 00:16:38,333
I was calling you!

501
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,509
It is impossible to make a mistake. He is knocking in the queue, rejecting everyone, but not rejecting anyone.

502
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:41,544
Larry!

503
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:42,600
I was looking for you.

504
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:54,800
No, that's not Larry.

505
00:16:54,867 --> 00:16:55,944
oh how bad

506
00:16:55,968 --> 00:16:57,067
It was not Larry.

507
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:01,744
Excuse me for a moment. - Excuse me.

508
00:17:01,833 --> 00:17:03,593
Joe: Look, he's going straight to the front of the line.

509
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:05,533
I'm sorry about that.

510
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:06,967
I don't stand in line.

511
00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:08,444
I'm sorry excuse me

512
00:17:08,468 --> 00:17:09,900
excuse me

513
00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:11,067
I don't stand in line at all.

514
00:17:11,133 --> 00:17:12,343
So I just want to get the "Shirshah" ticket.

515
00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:14,047
Hey, can I have two - for The Lion King?

516
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,177
thank you -

517
00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:22,244
Narrator: Joe, Moore

518
00:17:22,268 --> 00:17:23,667
And Sel could not line up in front.

519
00:17:23,733 --> 00:17:26,467
This is how TB became the big loser tonight.

520
00:17:26,533 --> 00:17:28,377
We are here in the bookstore - to punish TB.

521
00:17:28,467 --> 00:17:29,500
Congratulations, friend.

522
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:30,677
You are a writer.

523
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:31,833
A brand new book.

524
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:32,877
And we arranged.

525
00:17:32,901 --> 00:17:33,901
A book reading.

526
00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:35,633
With members of a book club.

527
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,310
And they are here - to see the author.

528
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,176
Sel is going to read a part of the book.

529
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,000
that we wrote for him.

530
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,509
Joe: Well, what Sel doesn't know is this.

531
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:47,627
whose book...

532
00:17:47,651 --> 00:17:48,767
It is completely empty.

533
00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:51,244
Q: It has to tell its own story as it goes.

534
00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:53,177
hello everyone

535
00:17:53,201 --> 00:17:55,067
how are you

536
00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:56,977
how are you all - Thank you for coming.

537
00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:58,510
Thanks to Book Culture - for inviting me.

538
00:17:58,600 --> 00:17:59,677
My name is Sel Vulcano.

539
00:17:59,701 --> 00:18:00,800
I am a new writer.

540
00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:02,400
This is my first published work.

541
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:04,009
And I was going to read a part for you.

542
00:18:04,033 --> 00:18:07,633
From today's book.

543
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,033
The name of the book is:

544
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,694
"Keeping the Faith: My Battle

545
00:18:10,718 --> 00:18:12,333
with chronic flatulence."

546
00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:16,667
The book is very honest.

547
00:18:16,733 --> 00:18:19,400
I do not cover anything.

548
00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:20,700
Well, then I begin.

549
00:18:23,467 --> 00:18:27,200
yes

550
00:18:27,267 --> 00:18:28,533
Um, okay.

551
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:36,333
A...

552
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,344
I was just making sure to tick.

553
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,333
The right page for me.

554
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,344
yes

555
00:18:43,368 --> 00:18:46,333
A...

556
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,033
It started when I was still a baby.

557
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:50,444
Nurses and doctors.

558
00:18:50,468 --> 00:18:51,833
to be suspicious

559
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:54,827
which may exist.

560
00:18:54,851 --> 00:18:57,800
An internal intestinal problem.

561
00:18:57,867 --> 00:19:00,527
Because they hear many voices.

562
00:19:00,551 --> 00:19:03,233
which comes from the side of the baby.

563
00:19:04,733 --> 00:19:05,633
yes

564
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,200
People made fun of me.

565
00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:11,361
And the only answer I had.

566
00:19:11,385 --> 00:19:15,500
It was bloated.

567
00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:20,167
But I did a surgery.

568
00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:22,867
The surgery gave the opposite result.

569
00:19:22,933 --> 00:19:28,433
Now I bloat twice as much.

570
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,094
And it seems like a cruel joke.

571
00:19:30,118 --> 00:19:31,733
that happened to me

572
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:36,000
Is there a question?

573
00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:37,327
what was the name

574
00:19:37,351 --> 00:19:38,633
That surgery?

575
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:40,233
A...

576
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:41,733
Wow, that was...

577
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,400
Yes, it was a long time ago.

578
00:19:43,467 --> 00:19:44,633
It is a long word.

579
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:47,933
Let's say flatulence.

580
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,377
I hope this...

581
00:19:49,401 --> 00:19:50,800
It was not as painful for you as it was for me.

582
00:19:50,867 --> 00:19:53,433
...

583
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:54,867
Thank you very much.

584
00:19:54,933 --> 00:19:56,833
thank you Oh, please no.

585
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:58,967
Well, I'm leaving.

586
00:19:59,967 --> 00:20:06,967
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