1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,840 Good night, sweetheart. 2 00:00:03,380 --> 00:00:07,300 All my prayers are for you. 3 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:10,480 Good night, sweetheart. 4 00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:14,940 I'll be watching over you. 5 00:00:15,340 --> 00:00:21,020 Tears and parting may make us alone. 6 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:28,740 But with the dawn, a new day is born. 7 00:00:33,420 --> 00:00:35,280 This is a lovely one, Gary. Listen. 8 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:41,780 Dear beautiful lady, I was enthralled by your sensitive yet sensuous scene at 9 00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:46,640 the Blue Door Club last night. If it were not for the simple gold band, 10 00:00:46,900 --> 00:00:51,820 unnoticed with sinking art, gracing the slender third finger of your left hand, 11 00:00:52,020 --> 00:00:57,600 I would there and then have pledged my life and love to you until the very end 12 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,600 of time. 13 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,700 Oh, sweet old thing. 14 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,180 Sad old git. 15 00:01:03,539 --> 00:01:04,539 Are you jealous? 16 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:05,940 Of course not. 17 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,860 It's just all you seem to do every waking minute is read those fan letters. 18 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:13,620 Maybe that's because you don't say nice things to me anymore. 19 00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:15,680 Of course I do. 20 00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,380 Yeah? 21 00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:18,580 Come on in. 22 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,840 What was the last nice thing you said to me? 23 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,380 Have you forgotten already? 24 00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:27,760 At dinner time? 25 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:32,670 I said this is the best cheese and potato pie I have tasted since the 26 00:01:32,670 --> 00:01:33,750 commencement of hostilities. 27 00:01:34,690 --> 00:01:38,590 Gary, while the knowledge that you enjoyed your tea leaves me delirious 28 00:01:38,590 --> 00:01:41,770 ecstasy... Oh, you've been hanging around with Noel Coward again, haven't 29 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,850 All right, then. What do you want me to do? 30 00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:49,550 I just... I just want you to woo me. 31 00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,590 You never woo me no more. 32 00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:54,350 Is that all? 33 00:02:02,430 --> 00:02:04,450 Am I intruding on a private moment? 34 00:02:05,070 --> 00:02:08,310 How did you get in? I left the door on the latch and I said he was going to pop 35 00:02:08,310 --> 00:02:09,310 down with something for me. 36 00:02:09,410 --> 00:02:10,410 Do you want me to wait outside? 37 00:02:11,009 --> 00:02:12,070 That won't be necessary. 38 00:02:12,810 --> 00:02:16,490 The something I have to offer you, my dearest Phoebe, is a small roll. 39 00:02:16,950 --> 00:02:18,030 Thanks, but we've just eaten. 40 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,270 A frightfully droll. 41 00:02:21,570 --> 00:02:23,930 MI5's game was the music hall's game. 42 00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:27,170 I meant a part in my new film. 43 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,180 You want me to be in your film? 44 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:36,160 Quite. Brief Encounter, directed by the sublime Mr David Lean, featuring my 45 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,200 beloved Celia Johnson. 46 00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:38,980 Celia Johnson? 47 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:43,540 And a wonderful young actor recently invalided out of the forces. 48 00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:44,820 Trevor Howard. 49 00:02:45,820 --> 00:02:46,820 Incredible. 50 00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:49,600 Never underestimate the Secret Service. 51 00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:51,580 What's the part? Do I get to talk? 52 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,780 Even better. You get to sing. 53 00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:56,500 I've written a little scene in a nightclub. 54 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:57,880 Oh, no. 55 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:00,500 Oh, isn't that divine, Gary? 56 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,840 Can I choose the song? Can it be one of Gary's? You can accompany me, Gary. You 57 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,360 can be in the film. Can he be in the film? 58 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:08,700 Well, he'll need a haircut. 59 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:13,860 I don't think that's a very good idea. We could do, I just called to say I love 60 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:14,860 you. 61 00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:19,440 No, look, Phoebe, the thing is, you're not a professional actress. I'm not a 62 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,440 professional musician. 63 00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:22,300 Well, I mean... Oh, I get it. 64 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,120 You're too blooming scared to do anything with your talent. 65 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,850 And you're too blooming jealous to let me do anything with mine. 66 00:03:28,430 --> 00:03:30,430 Well, I'm going to appear in this film, come what may. 67 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,790 Even if I have to be accompanied by Reg Stedman on a Coleman paper. 68 00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:40,870 Murray, you call yourself a lawyer? I pay you, what is it, $300 an hour to 69 00:03:40,870 --> 00:03:44,890 protect my interest, and now you tell me that my so -called partner Clive has 70 00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:45,890 stitched me up? 71 00:03:46,190 --> 00:03:48,870 Yeah, I'm not familiar with that colloquialism, Yvonne. 72 00:03:49,210 --> 00:03:52,890 Stitched me up, screwed me royally, shafted me rotten, jicken -putes. 73 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:59,160 OK, yeah, I read you. But you have to understand, there was no warning. 74 00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:02,560 The merger was going through smoothly and suddenly it turned into a hostile 75 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,020 takeover bid and they wanted you out. 76 00:04:04,380 --> 00:04:09,960 How can you watch these American soaps? Do you mind? 77 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,720 This is a conference call, idiot. 78 00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:17,620 That bastard Clive is out in California selling my business behind my back and 79 00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:20,060 my only ally in the whole world is this hapless schmuck. 80 00:04:20,730 --> 00:04:22,530 Yeah, he looks pretty inadequate from where I'm sitting. 81 00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:27,610 What? No, Murray, you are the hapless schmuck. 82 00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:30,530 Now, listen, go to court and get an injunction. 83 00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:34,330 If you can't get an injunction, get a hitman. Just stop, Clive! 84 00:04:35,630 --> 00:04:38,770 If anybody wants me, Gary, I will be at my merchant bank. 85 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:40,910 Bought one of those now, have you? 86 00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:46,790 I'm sorry if I seem to be taking my problems out on you. It's all right. 87 00:04:46,790 --> 00:04:49,010 with the penthouse, the Porsche and the PMT. 88 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:53,490 So, what exciting things have you got planned today? 89 00:04:53,970 --> 00:04:56,210 Oh, just thought I'd sort through some old movies. 90 00:04:57,150 --> 00:05:00,030 Your life, it's so simple, isn't it? 91 00:05:02,290 --> 00:05:03,410 Tell me about it. 92 00:05:19,530 --> 00:05:21,590 I thought she was going to top herself. 93 00:05:21,850 --> 00:05:22,850 So did I. 94 00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:26,110 Do you reckon we're the only people in the country never to have seen Brief 95 00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:29,150 Encounter? Well, I tried watching it last Christmas, but I dozed off. 96 00:05:29,570 --> 00:05:32,510 On account of having to eat two turkey dinners 53 years apart. 97 00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:36,850 This must be nearly over and still no nightclubs in. 98 00:05:38,010 --> 00:05:39,010 Gary, am I an idiot? 99 00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:41,410 You're my best friend, Ron, so I won't answer that. 100 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:43,410 Then it must be you. 101 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,140 Because it suddenly occurs to me, if Gary Sparrow does make an appearance in 102 00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:49,840 Brief Encounter, somebody would have mentioned it to you before now. 103 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:53,180 No, you still don't grasp the basic paradox of time travel, do you? 104 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:58,000 I'm not in Brief Encounter yet, because in 1944, they haven't finished filming 105 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,000 it. 106 00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:01,100 Then why are we watching it? 107 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,520 In case. 108 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:35,580 So far, so good. 109 00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:38,800 How are you going to get out of it? I don't know. 110 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:43,020 Phoebe is longing to sing I Just Called to Say I Love You on cellulite. 111 00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:45,480 You didn't write that, too, did you? 112 00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:48,760 She thinks it's my best song since Bohemian Rhapsody. 113 00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:53,460 My dear, why don't you let Phoebe sing the song? 114 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,300 You wear a false beard or something. Say it's MI5 regulations. 115 00:06:56,860 --> 00:06:57,860 I'll follow that. 116 00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:02,440 Suppose I Just Called to Say I Love You does end up in a hit 1945 movie, right? 117 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:06,240 Stevie Wonder will never get to write it, which means I won't know how it goes 118 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:07,240 in the first place. 119 00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:08,840 Well, look on the bright side. 120 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,940 Maybe you did write it and Stevie ripped you off. 121 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,640 You could sue him. 122 00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:27,940 Excuse me, miss. 123 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,440 Can I help you, sir? 124 00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:32,750 Well, I seem to be suffering from dry lips. I was wondering if you knew of any 125 00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:33,970 remedy? Hmm. 126 00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:35,470 You can try one of these. 127 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,550 Cheers. Have one yourself. In fact, make it a double. 128 00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:41,970 Look, 129 00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:45,970 I'm sorry about yesterday. If you want to do my song, then I'm flattered. Yeah, 130 00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:47,690 so you should be. I am. 131 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,250 Evening, lovebirds. 132 00:07:49,490 --> 00:07:52,350 Billy. Here, have I got a joke for you. 133 00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:54,610 Oh, have you? Go on, then. 134 00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:56,490 I must have left it in me other trousers. 135 00:07:56,730 --> 00:07:57,730 I'll just go and get it. 136 00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:01,200 Gary, the thing is about this song... Good evening, Gary. 137 00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:04,380 Phoebe, you look as enchanting as ever. 138 00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:05,740 Thank you, kind sir. 139 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:09,020 Noel, I was thinking about this song I'm going to do with Phoebe. Oh, listen, 140 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,500 there's no need to apologise, my dear fellow. No, no, I mean... I've been 141 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:13,500 to tell him. 142 00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:17,320 I know you're shy of performing in public, and how did you put it, Noel? 143 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,880 Exposing yourself and compromising your position. 144 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,380 So, Noel's found someone else to accompany me. 145 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,500 Oh. 146 00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:29,170 I suppose I can teach him the court. 147 00:08:29,390 --> 00:08:30,490 That won't be necessary. 148 00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:35,010 My dear friend Anthony has written a lovely song that's quite perfect for 149 00:08:35,010 --> 00:08:36,690 Phoebe. And who is Anthony? 150 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,909 A professional songwriter. 151 00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:42,270 He had two successful reviews running on Broadway before the war. 152 00:08:42,530 --> 00:08:46,150 Well, I've had three successful dogs running at Haringey. I don't go on about 153 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,150 it. 154 00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:48,170 Don't be childish. 155 00:08:49,170 --> 00:08:50,890 So you don't want me or my song? 156 00:08:51,270 --> 00:08:52,189 That's right. 157 00:08:52,190 --> 00:08:53,190 You should be relieved. 158 00:08:53,430 --> 00:08:55,130 Oh, yeah, well, it's a load off. 159 00:08:56,010 --> 00:08:58,390 So, when do I get to meet your dear friend, Anthony? 160 00:08:58,850 --> 00:09:00,470 Well, he said he was going to be here tonight. 161 00:09:00,850 --> 00:09:02,170 Oh, and every year. 162 00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:05,550 Oh. Oh, it's lovely to see you again. 163 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:07,850 Anthony, 164 00:09:08,730 --> 00:09:09,890 this is Gary Sparrow. 165 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,010 Gary, this is Anthony Blair. 166 00:09:12,230 --> 00:09:13,230 How do you do? 167 00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:15,910 Please, call me Tony. 168 00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:18,950 Tony Blair. 169 00:09:19,830 --> 00:09:21,350 Wing Commander Blair. 170 00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:22,610 Only he's too modest. 171 00:09:23,719 --> 00:09:25,840 Phoebe tells me you spent quite some time in Hollywood. 172 00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:28,100 Did you ever run into Ethel Merman? 173 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,360 Um, no. 174 00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:31,680 No, I didn't have a driving licence. 175 00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:37,060 Noel said you had a ready wit. It's just a question of whether the rest of us 176 00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:38,060 are ready for it. 177 00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:39,580 Evening, Noel. 178 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,560 Three tonnes of human hair... I beg your pardon? 179 00:09:44,780 --> 00:09:46,100 It's a joke. Brace yourself. 180 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:51,760 Three tonnes of human hair were stolen last night from a wig factory in 181 00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:54,490 And police are combing the area. 182 00:09:56,490 --> 00:09:57,950 That is so good. 183 00:09:58,610 --> 00:09:59,850 Reg, it's your joke. 184 00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:02,550 I read it in a comic, but I never heard it before. 185 00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:04,250 Comb in the area. 186 00:10:04,510 --> 00:10:05,510 I don't know. 187 00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:08,770 I like him. 188 00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:10,910 He's so utterly without guile. 189 00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:14,930 Oh, when do I get my hands on your ditty, Anthony? 190 00:10:15,630 --> 00:10:17,370 In no time like the present. 191 00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:26,600 Don't fret, Gary. She'll be perfectly safe in Anthony's hands. 192 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:45,660 The first time I saw you, I knew I'd adore you. I couldn't do 193 00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:46,660 less. 194 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:55,020 I tried to ignore you in case I might bore you, but now I confess. 195 00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:04,260 It's not just your style or your smoldering smile or the way 196 00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:05,720 that you dress. 197 00:11:07,980 --> 00:11:14,660 I love the complete you, the whole head to feet 198 00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:15,660 you. 199 00:11:18,060 --> 00:11:21,100 I couldn't do less. 200 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:28,880 I don't want the money, you klutz. I want my business. I want Nature Boy. 201 00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:31,720 Morning. It was my project. It was my dream. 202 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,800 And I'm not selling out for a lousy $8 million. 203 00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:35,660 Well, I'll just get a coffee. 204 00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:40,340 So you get back to that rat, Clive LaZouche, and... It's two in the morning 205 00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:41,920 here, Yvonne. He's going to be asleep. 206 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:47,100 Well, then wake him up and keep... waking him up, and if he falls asleep, 207 00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:48,100 him with lighted cigarettes. 208 00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:54,020 Look, I'm tired too. People make mistakes when they get tired. It'd be 209 00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:54,839 if you were here. 210 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,860 I'm sorry I didn't get back last night. Fog completely shut down in Vanessa 211 00:11:57,860 --> 00:12:00,400 Airport. Right now, Gary, I don't give a flying bomb. 212 00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:03,660 Fine. Fine, I won't bother in future. 213 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,560 Okay, Murray, I'll be there. 214 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,340 Huh? You said it'd be different if I were there. Okay, I'll be there. 215 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,860 You better tell Clive he should get some body armour. 216 00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:13,580 I've got to get to the West Coast. 217 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,410 Right now, I don't give a flying bomb, Yvonne. 218 00:12:18,610 --> 00:12:21,610 I'm sorry I snapped at you, but I'm under savage pressure. 219 00:12:22,010 --> 00:12:24,750 I've been on the phone all night and me right ear's really numb. 220 00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:27,890 Well, maybe I can do something about that. 221 00:12:29,630 --> 00:12:30,630 Gary! 222 00:12:31,190 --> 00:12:35,030 And if you haven't been to bed all night, what say you and I just... I 223 00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:36,030 got time for that. 224 00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:42,170 Look, I know this takeover madness has turned me into a complete crazed bitch. 225 00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:43,860 Oh, I hadn't noticed. 226 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,380 But you still matter to me. 227 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,380 I still care for you. 228 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,760 And I still miss you when you're not here. 229 00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:54,060 You do? 230 00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,420 Yeah, it was a surprise to me too. 231 00:12:57,700 --> 00:12:59,780 Look, what's to stop you joining me in LA? 232 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,960 I mean, don't say the shop. You've always got someone to mind the shop. 233 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:07,920 I need somebody out there I can totally trust. And you are the only really 234 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,300 honest person I know. 235 00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:13,920 Well, I'm flattered. 236 00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:17,800 So how long do you think we'll need to be in the States? 237 00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:19,180 Six months tops. 238 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,120 Six months? The war's over in six months. 239 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:23,840 What war? 240 00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:30,880 I just meant, you know, wars generally don't take that long. You know, I mean, 241 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:35,200 Desert Storm, the Falklands, Six Day War was particularly short. 242 00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:38,400 Although the Thirty Years' War did drag on a bit. 243 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,660 Six months isn't that long to sit by a swimming pool in Beverly Hills, is it? 244 00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:47,820 Oh, you don't really want me out there holding you back. 245 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,060 I mean, I'd just be cramping your style. 246 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,220 You want me to bugger off, don't you? 247 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,940 You'd be happier if I was on another continent. 248 00:13:56,280 --> 00:14:00,840 No. Oh, look, if there is someone else, just tell me. Let's get it out in the 249 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,920 open. There'll be lots of hard feelings and that'll be that. 250 00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:07,100 Look, Yvonne, I promise you there is no one on this whole planet for me except 251 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,100 you. 252 00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:10,880 Oh, great. You mean you're screwing an alien? 253 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:13,460 Come on! 254 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,940 God, you can't do a bloody thing right. 255 00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:20,700 Pardon me. 256 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:26,760 I'm still here. 257 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:36,100 So, whether I go or not, California, here she comes. 258 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,740 Well, look on the bright side. 259 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,740 This could be a God -given opportunity to simplify your life. Oh, if only. 260 00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:46,040 Nothing against Yvonne, except she's scary as hell. 261 00:14:46,580 --> 00:14:50,080 But this could be your chance to let go gracefully. 262 00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:52,420 Concentrate all your affections on Phoebe. 263 00:14:52,820 --> 00:14:56,420 Plus, Yvonne would have to pay you a cartload of alimony. But I don't want to 264 00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:58,000 let Yvonne go, I don't think. 265 00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,320 Fine. 266 00:14:59,460 --> 00:15:00,520 Continue living a lie. 267 00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:02,460 Excuse me. 268 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:06,500 You are the Ron Wheatcroft currently romancing a society lovely by pretending 269 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:07,720 you're richer than Bill Gates. 270 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,000 Well, that's different. 271 00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:12,660 Flick's top drawer totty. She wouldn't look twice at the real Ron. 272 00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:15,380 Whereas Phoebe loves you for who you are. 273 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,540 She thinks I'm a songwriting secret agent. 274 00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:20,940 Inside that. 275 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,460 I wish she'd been acting lately. I'm not sure she loves me at all. I don't think 276 00:15:24,460 --> 00:15:25,460 either of them love me. 277 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,200 That's probably because you're behaving like such a wuss. 278 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,940 Sharpen up your act, or I won't love you either. 279 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:04,760 You're going? I'm staying. 280 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,240 Staying? Good. You can babysit. 281 00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:09,420 Well, I thought we could spend some time together. 282 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:12,460 Oh, aren't they lovely? 283 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:14,360 You're welcome. 284 00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:15,580 They're from you? 285 00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,340 Well, who do you think they were from, Tony Blair? 286 00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:18,900 No. 287 00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:22,240 No, it's just the most romantic thing you've bought me lately was a packet of 288 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:23,780 three... thingamajigs. 289 00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:26,160 Again, that's despite longer than usual. 290 00:16:27,060 --> 00:16:29,240 Well, make do and mend. There is a war on, you know. 291 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,380 Look, your favourite chocolate. 292 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,000 Perfume from Paris. 293 00:16:33,370 --> 00:16:34,450 Stop trying to bribe me, Gary. 294 00:16:34,770 --> 00:16:38,210 I did not have my hair done at Cesrini to spoil it wrestling with you. 295 00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,230 I'm going out, and that's that. 296 00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:43,250 So you can spoil it wrestling with Wing Commander Blair? 297 00:16:43,830 --> 00:16:44,830 Don't be stupid. 298 00:16:45,470 --> 00:16:47,150 We're just going to work on our scene together. 299 00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:49,410 Noel's written us some lines now. 300 00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:53,190 Lines you could be doing with me if you hadn't been such a namby -pamby. 301 00:16:53,630 --> 00:16:56,210 So why can't Anthony come round here and rehearse? 302 00:16:56,710 --> 00:16:59,510 So you can sit and take the mick all night. I should cocoa. 303 00:17:00,870 --> 00:17:01,870 I get it. 304 00:17:16,599 --> 00:17:17,599 Roses! Murder! 305 00:17:20,020 --> 00:17:22,980 God, it's been so long since I've seen Roses, I forgot I was allergic. 306 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,880 Is Mr. Coward here yet? 307 00:17:25,319 --> 00:17:27,440 I was expecting him. Well, he said he'd meet me here. 308 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,520 Well, make yourself comfortable. 309 00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:31,820 Murder! 310 00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:37,920 He can take you out of it if you like. 311 00:17:45,610 --> 00:17:46,610 That hat new? 312 00:17:46,890 --> 00:17:47,890 Danham Company. 313 00:17:47,910 --> 00:17:48,930 Seventeen and ninepence. 314 00:17:49,990 --> 00:17:55,350 Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but, um... The lining's come out. 315 00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:56,910 Oh. 316 00:17:57,590 --> 00:17:58,990 No, it hasn't. 317 00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:01,330 So what's that on your head? 318 00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:04,070 You noticed. 319 00:18:05,490 --> 00:18:06,490 It's a two -uppy. 320 00:18:08,790 --> 00:18:09,830 It's posh for wig. 321 00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:12,070 That's toupee, Reg. 322 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:13,880 Are you sure? 323 00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:15,420 You've spelt too happy. 324 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,160 Yeah. Do you think it makes me look younger? 325 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:24,220 Um... Compared to what? 326 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:26,840 I'll go. 327 00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:32,840 Your hair looks nice. 328 00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:37,060 Tom, it makes one of us. Huh? 329 00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:40,420 Reginald, apologies for my tardiness. 330 00:18:41,060 --> 00:18:42,220 Is that a toupee? 331 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,680 100 % human air, donated by nuns for a war effort. 332 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,200 Probably three times stolen from Catford, I expect. 333 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,520 It's absolutely spectacular. 334 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,500 No -one would ever mistake it for the genuine article. 335 00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:58,080 Gary, would you be so kind as to put that on the gramophone, please? 336 00:18:58,360 --> 00:18:59,039 Yeah, OK. 337 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,180 Any particular reason? 338 00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:04,520 Well, we're short of extras for the nightclub scene, and a little bird tells 339 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,920 that Reginald is a wonderful dancer. 340 00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,180 Oh? What little bird? 341 00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:10,259 Me, actually. 342 00:19:10,260 --> 00:19:11,660 I always wanted to be in a picture. 343 00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:14,520 All normal people want to be in pictures, Gary. 344 00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:16,180 Shall I lead? 345 00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:18,400 I can't do the women's steps, Mr Cad. 346 00:19:18,820 --> 00:19:20,080 Yes, of course. Forgive me. 347 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:11,160 Joe pops off to rinse Reggie's Irish under the tap, and Phoebe goes off with 348 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,380 Tony Blair to rehearse, in inverted commas. 349 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,800 I thought you forbade her to go out with him. 350 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:17,779 I did. 351 00:20:17,780 --> 00:20:19,260 I forbade her very strongly. 352 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:23,340 In fact, I was standing there, holding the baby, forbidding her all the time 353 00:20:23,340 --> 00:20:24,420 was descending in the lift. 354 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,240 Well, look on the bright side. 355 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,820 This could be a God -given opportunity to simplify your life. 356 00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:34,840 Go to America with Yvonne and let Phoebe limp off into the sunset with Tony 357 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:35,840 Blair. 358 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:40,140 You do realise that's the exact opposite of the advice you gave me last time? 359 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,620 I pride myself I'm nothing if not inconsistent. 360 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:48,060 OK, keep Phoebe, dump Yvonne. Better? I don't want to dump Yvonne and I don't 361 00:20:48,060 --> 00:20:51,460 want to lose Phoebe, let alone little Michael. So, in essence, you like your 362 00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:52,860 life being a complete and utter mess? 363 00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:54,700 I suppose I might. 364 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,080 Did you know? 365 00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:01,760 Bigamist is very nearly an anagram of I am a git. 366 00:21:19,630 --> 00:21:20,650 Home practice makes perfect. 367 00:21:21,170 --> 00:21:23,570 Who knows, this could be the start of a whole new career for you. 368 00:21:23,790 --> 00:21:26,430 Reg Deadman and Ginger Rogers. Now you're teasing. 369 00:21:26,710 --> 00:21:27,689 No, I'm not. 370 00:21:27,690 --> 00:21:29,350 Come the Oscars, you could clean up. 371 00:21:29,850 --> 00:21:31,170 After everyone else has gone home. 372 00:21:31,650 --> 00:21:33,390 Have you just come here to mock? 373 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:36,350 No, I haven't. I'm looking for Phoebe. She's not at home. I thought she might 374 00:21:36,350 --> 00:21:38,490 here. Noel invited her down to the film studio. 375 00:21:38,950 --> 00:21:40,090 I wish he'd asked me. 376 00:21:40,610 --> 00:21:42,450 Just because I wouldn't let him be the man. 377 00:21:50,220 --> 00:21:51,800 I've never met anyone like you before. 378 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:53,560 Common, you mean? 379 00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:57,200 No, not common. You're rare. You're rare to tender. 380 00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,920 Makes me sound like a nice piece of rump steak. 381 00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:01,860 I mean it. 382 00:22:02,380 --> 00:22:06,820 Ever since I lost my leg, I've despaired of meeting a woman who sees me as a 383 00:22:06,820 --> 00:22:08,560 man, not a cripple. 384 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,940 I can't believe that. 385 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,040 You're a very good -looking chap. 386 00:22:13,860 --> 00:22:14,860 Am I? 387 00:22:15,260 --> 00:22:16,420 You know you are. 388 00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:19,300 So you find me attractive? 389 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,920 Please, Tony, I'm a married woman. 390 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:24,500 Does Gary love you? 391 00:22:24,860 --> 00:22:25,900 Of course he does. 392 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,560 Maybe a bit on the quiet side compared to you. 393 00:22:30,220 --> 00:22:35,640 Not so handsome, or so talented, or so nicely turned out, or handsome. 394 00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:38,580 Did I just mention handsome? 395 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:40,480 Oh, God, don't go on. 396 00:22:41,020 --> 00:22:44,940 To think you feel that way about me, and yet we mayn't do anything to express 397 00:22:44,940 --> 00:22:46,000 our love. 398 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,280 I wrote to you. 399 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:53,440 Did you? 400 00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:59,800 If it were not for the simple gold band, I noticed, with sinking heart. 401 00:23:00,820 --> 00:23:01,820 That was you. 402 00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:04,780 Oh, bloody Nora. 403 00:23:06,140 --> 00:23:09,480 If it was three inches longer. 404 00:23:09,860 --> 00:23:11,800 Quiet, everybody, please. We're going for a take. 405 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,039 I'll tell you later. 406 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,040 Turn over. 407 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,200 Start running. 408 00:23:15,340 --> 00:23:16,780 Race. Market. 409 00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:19,420 142. Take one. 410 00:23:20,670 --> 00:23:21,810 Background action, please. 411 00:23:23,550 --> 00:23:26,010 And... Action. 412 00:23:26,690 --> 00:23:28,170 My train will be here any minute. 413 00:23:28,390 --> 00:23:29,730 Laura, darling. 414 00:23:30,710 --> 00:23:32,550 I can't believe I'm never going to see you again. 415 00:23:33,010 --> 00:23:36,050 I don't suppose you'd ever contemplate leaving him. Please, my darling. 416 00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:37,790 The very words tear me in two. 417 00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:43,610 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Gary, what do you think you're doing? 418 00:23:43,830 --> 00:23:44,809 What do you think you're doing? 419 00:23:44,810 --> 00:23:47,390 Look, I know what I'm doing. What do you think you're doing? What the hell, 420 00:23:47,390 --> 00:23:48,390 Gary? 421 00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:52,240 My dear chap, Phoebe and Anthony were simply filling in with a little 422 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,120 action. We were only acting, Gary. 423 00:23:56,860 --> 00:23:59,520 Tony, Anthony, wing commander. 424 00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:05,200 I'm sure Phoebe will be delighted you still feel so passionately about her. 425 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:07,280 Excuse me. 426 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,380 He's only got the one leg, you know. 427 00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:14,160 Hardly my fault. 428 00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:17,920 Anyway, how can you be in this scene and be the nightclub singer? 429 00:24:18,350 --> 00:24:19,650 The nightclub scene has been dropped. 430 00:24:20,310 --> 00:24:23,750 Darling Celia feels very strongly that apparently her character wouldn't be 431 00:24:23,750 --> 00:24:25,150 dead in a nightclub. 432 00:24:25,410 --> 00:24:26,570 Bloody actresses. 433 00:24:26,850 --> 00:24:28,550 Well, I'd better go and mollify Anthony. 434 00:24:31,410 --> 00:24:32,410 Sorry. 435 00:24:33,350 --> 00:24:34,430 I don't love you. 436 00:24:35,270 --> 00:24:36,270 Really? 437 00:24:37,150 --> 00:24:39,310 After I've been such an utter fool? 438 00:24:40,710 --> 00:24:42,210 No, it was I who was the fool. 439 00:24:43,170 --> 00:24:44,570 Taking you for granted, sir. 440 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:49,620 What's that chuck this acting lark? It's boring as hell anyway, sitting around 441 00:24:49,620 --> 00:24:50,479 here for hours. 442 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,120 No, you must finish the scene, otherwise it'll play havoc with the continuity. 443 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,360 Well, I love it when you talk all Hollywood. 444 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,220 Maybe we will go out there one day. 445 00:24:59,340 --> 00:25:01,080 I just want us to be together. 446 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,280 Well, me too. 447 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,160 But right now I've got an urgent meeting. It could be an all -nighter. 448 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:07,819 Phoning sick? 449 00:25:07,820 --> 00:25:11,120 I can't, Phoebe. England expects every man to do his duty. 450 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:13,160 So do I. 451 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:14,800 Phoning sick. 452 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,600 Go on. 453 00:25:23,340 --> 00:25:24,460 Go on. 454 00:26:07,389 --> 00:26:08,870 Yvonne! What are you doing here? 455 00:26:09,450 --> 00:26:10,450 Don't go. 456 00:26:10,470 --> 00:26:12,310 I've got to. I'll come with you then. 457 00:26:12,750 --> 00:26:14,610 No, you were right, Gary. It'd never work. 458 00:26:14,810 --> 00:26:18,090 My world of international capitalism obviously intimidates you. 459 00:26:18,350 --> 00:26:19,710 I'm not the woman you married. 460 00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:21,590 Well, yes and no. 461 00:26:21,850 --> 00:26:24,670 You need a simple home, loving girl. Someone to have your baby. 462 00:26:25,130 --> 00:26:29,810 Yes, I need that too. Look, Yvonne, all we have to do... The next Heathrow 463 00:26:29,810 --> 00:26:31,370 Express is about to depart. 464 00:26:31,770 --> 00:26:34,390 Will all passengers please board the train? 465 00:26:35,370 --> 00:26:36,370 I've got to go. 466 00:26:41,389 --> 00:26:43,390 I love you, Yvonne. 467 00:26:47,290 --> 00:26:48,290 Yvonne. 468 00:26:52,970 --> 00:26:53,970 Yvonne, listen. 469 00:26:54,490 --> 00:26:55,490 Yvonne, listen. 470 00:27:07,630 --> 00:27:09,390 deal for all of us. Can't we sort this out? 471 00:27:09,830 --> 00:27:11,310 I'm sure we can find some middle ground. 472 00:27:11,930 --> 00:27:13,050 Hi Clive, it's Gary. 473 00:27:13,950 --> 00:27:16,010 No, I'm afraid Yvonne's on her way to LA. 474 00:27:16,750 --> 00:27:20,530 Yes, with a posse of lawyers, a ton of injunctions and what appears to be a 475 00:27:20,530 --> 00:27:21,890 Sicilian string quartet. 476 00:27:23,650 --> 00:27:27,950 No, I'm afraid an extra million bucks wouldn't ring my bell. You'll have to do 477 00:27:27,950 --> 00:27:28,950 better. 478 00:27:29,830 --> 00:27:30,729 Twelve million? 479 00:27:30,730 --> 00:27:32,770 Well, now at least we're talking the same language. 480 00:27:34,730 --> 00:27:37,810 But you see, she's already laid out a quarter of a million on the hit men. 481 00:27:38,090 --> 00:27:40,590 Sorry, sorry, string quartet, sorry. 482 00:27:41,750 --> 00:27:47,650 Now, if you were to try something in the 15 million ballpark... Yes, 483 00:27:48,450 --> 00:27:52,690 I thought you'd see it my way, Clive. All right, well, I'll advise her to take 484 00:27:52,690 --> 00:27:56,650 the 15, but only because I've always had a soft spot for bald men with 485 00:27:56,650 --> 00:27:57,650 ponytails. 486 00:27:58,770 --> 00:27:59,790 Oh, you're welcome. 487 00:28:00,130 --> 00:28:02,330 It's been a pleasure doing blackmail with you. 488 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:12,400 You see, your world of international capitalism isn't so daunting after all. 489 00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:14,420 Now, about my commission. 490 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,200 I have to speak to my merchant bank. 491 00:28:18,100 --> 00:28:20,220 No -one ever gets anything over on you, do they? 492 00:28:21,180 --> 00:28:22,780 I wouldn't say no -one. 493 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:32,420 Good night, sweetheart Sleep well, banished sorrow 494 00:28:32,420 --> 00:28:36,380 Good night, sweetheart 495 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,620 Good night, sweetheart.