1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,440 Good night, sweetheart. 2 00:00:02,820 --> 00:00:09,140 All my prayers are for you. Good night, 3 00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:14,660 sweetheart. I'll be watching all you. 4 00:00:15,220 --> 00:00:20,880 Tears and parting may make us alone. 5 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:28,460 But with the dawn, a new day is born. 6 00:00:36,910 --> 00:00:37,910 Phoebe? 7 00:00:55,090 --> 00:00:56,950 Oh, Charlie. 8 00:00:57,750 --> 00:01:00,250 Not now, Charlie. I'll be back in a minute. 9 00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:07,509 Who are you? 10 00:01:07,510 --> 00:01:08,510 Never mind who I am. 11 00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:09,649 Well, who's she? 12 00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:10,650 Who's she? The cat's mother. 13 00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:13,490 What are you doing here? What's he doing here? 14 00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:16,550 I was just putting on my frock and he got hold of me. 15 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:20,450 You got hold of her? I thought she was someone else. Oh, does she look like 16 00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:23,950 someone else? What the hell is going on? Language. I know what's going on, all 17 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:27,790 right. Come here, you. Come on. Out you go. Come on, you're lucky. I'll bring on 18 00:01:27,790 --> 00:01:30,670 you. Come on, out you go. Will you just get your hands off me and tell me what 19 00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:31,670 the hell is going on? 20 00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:35,429 What's going on? 21 00:01:35,430 --> 00:01:39,530 Language. He's laid hands on my Daisy, trying to infiltrate her cammy knickers. 22 00:01:40,470 --> 00:01:42,570 Phoebe, she was in the bedroom. I thought she was you. 23 00:01:43,390 --> 00:01:44,510 You thought I was her? 24 00:01:44,950 --> 00:01:46,710 Oh, excuse me. 25 00:01:47,270 --> 00:01:49,270 Phoebe, what the hell is going on? Language. 26 00:01:50,090 --> 00:01:52,130 Gary, the brewery's taking the pub away from us. 27 00:01:52,350 --> 00:01:54,650 These people are the new tenants, the Greengrasses. 28 00:01:54,910 --> 00:01:57,250 They've been coming in every now and again to get a feel of the place. 29 00:01:57,730 --> 00:02:00,230 Oh, he knows everything about getting a feel. 30 00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:03,310 Taking it away? What are you talking about? 31 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:06,810 If you'd been home instead of God knows where, you wouldn't have to ask me what 32 00:02:06,810 --> 00:02:07,589 I'm talking about. 33 00:02:07,590 --> 00:02:11,670 I was away trying to sort out Adolf Hitler. Ever heard of him? Bad haircut, 34 00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:14,050 silly moustache, been making a nuisance of himself lately. 35 00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:16,130 Do you know him, do you? 36 00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:17,730 He's my husband. 37 00:02:17,990 --> 00:02:21,210 You should tell him to keep his hands off of cami knickers that are no concern 38 00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:22,210 of his. 39 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,010 What were you doing in my bedroom, anyway? 40 00:02:25,370 --> 00:02:27,230 I was just putting on me work clothes. 41 00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:30,230 You're a long way from so, old love. 42 00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:36,360 I've already had one go, son. 43 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,800 Look, I told you, Charlie, that was a mistake. 44 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,180 I'm not Charlie, I'm Fred. 45 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,320 Charlie's my brother, he's outside unloading the van. 46 00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:45,900 You're Fred? 47 00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:48,940 Then why did you say not now, Charlie? He'll be back in a minute. 48 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,300 I thought there was something going on, girl. 49 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,960 Well, you know I'm not very good with names and that. 50 00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:58,680 I'm going to give you such a wallop. And I'll give you one back. 51 00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:02,020 Well, you want to go a few rounds with your old Fred Greengrass? I'll talk 52 00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:03,020 this. 53 00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,300 I really enjoyed that. 54 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,480 I'm not having that woman back in the premises until we're packed and gone. 55 00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:25,840 I know her sort. 56 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,440 Give short measure and rest her bosoms on the bar. 57 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:33,020 Phoebe, how did all this happen? I go away for a week and come back to find 58 00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:34,020 we're being kicked out. 59 00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:35,220 Why didn't we get notice? 60 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,780 It seems they sent a letter a month ago. 61 00:03:37,140 --> 00:03:38,260 I don't remember any letter. 62 00:03:38,580 --> 00:03:41,360 No, but you do remember a doodle bag falling in Naylor Street. 63 00:03:41,940 --> 00:03:42,940 Yeah, so what? 64 00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:44,340 Direct hit on the postman. 65 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,300 So why are we getting the push? 66 00:03:48,580 --> 00:03:50,840 Our lease is up. So why not renew it? 67 00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,020 Is that George Harrison from the brewery? 68 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,020 He's been looking for an excuse ever since he asked for a bit of flat and 69 00:03:56,020 --> 00:03:57,300 pickle. Showed in the door. 70 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,700 Yes, well, he'll be all right with Daisy Greengrass. All tickle and no slap. 71 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,120 Look, can't we appeal or something? 72 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:06,010 We've got three days, Gary. I didn't know what to do. 73 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:09,190 And you, over in France, mopping up pockets of resistance? 74 00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,470 Oh, yes, yes. 75 00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:16,010 Well, all right, Phoebe, it's a bit of a shock, but maybe it's for the best. 76 00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:19,890 You know, we've got the flat -up West, life's a bit different now, maybe it's 77 00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:22,510 time. To everything there is a season, Phoebe. 78 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:26,190 A time to be born and a time to do something else altogether. 79 00:04:28,370 --> 00:04:30,950 I mean, do you really want to stay here forever, after the war? 80 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,540 Just go on pulling pints, talking about the weather, watching the regulars die 81 00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:39,440 off. A time to cast away stones, and a time to go out and find a very different 82 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:40,440 sort of stone. 83 00:04:42,260 --> 00:04:46,120 What I'm trying to say is, I grew up in the Royal Oak. 84 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:50,740 When Mum died, you know, the funeral left for me, and then there was me and 85 00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:52,220 helping each other, working together. 86 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,060 Yeah, you're right, I'm being thoughtless. Look, if you want to make a 87 00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,860 this, we will. I'll go down to the brewery tomorrow. No, no, Gary, listen. 88 00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,100 A time to reap. 89 00:04:59,370 --> 00:05:01,350 And a time to insert your dibber. 90 00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:06,590 It comes to all of us. What does? 91 00:05:06,850 --> 00:05:10,330 Being turfed out, Gary. Being told to turn in your accoutrements. 92 00:05:12,690 --> 00:05:14,270 He's been retired, Gary. 93 00:05:16,870 --> 00:05:17,970 25 years. 94 00:05:18,630 --> 00:05:19,930 Come by in a flash. 95 00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:24,030 I didn't realise until the sergeant inquired after me inside leg. 96 00:05:25,719 --> 00:05:27,520 What are you using the uniform, Gary? Oh. 97 00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:28,860 Waist knot, want knot. 98 00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:32,800 I think they'd have asked me to stay on if it wasn't for the impetigo. 99 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,880 I thought all that had cleared up. Didn't they top and tail you with blue 100 00:05:38,340 --> 00:05:43,220 Oh, I'm all right. But several of the lads are off with it. Well, not several, 101 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:44,340 quite a few. 102 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,680 The sergeant said I'd done more to bring Stephanie Green Neck to its knees than 103 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,340 the entire might of the Luftwaffe. 104 00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:55,210 I don't think that was meant as a compliment, Reg. 105 00:05:55,870 --> 00:05:57,030 Oh, no. 106 00:05:58,050 --> 00:06:00,910 Anyway, me time's up. I was really quite upset. 107 00:06:01,430 --> 00:06:05,550 Sergeant was upset. All the lads down the station are upset. Well, those that 108 00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:06,670 aren't. Feeling blue. 109 00:06:07,510 --> 00:06:11,070 Of course, they're trying not to let me see they're upset. 110 00:06:12,350 --> 00:06:13,370 Smiling a lot, are they? 111 00:06:13,810 --> 00:06:16,190 Smiling, laughing, joking. 112 00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:19,670 Doing their best to create a jolly atmosphere. 113 00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:22,930 But choking back the tears, I shouldn't wonder. 114 00:06:23,559 --> 00:06:27,380 Gary, I was wondering, would you be prepared to have a little tinkle at my 115 00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:31,340 My leaving do. 116 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,140 Barrel of beer, Margie's spam rolls, you and a Joanna. 117 00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:38,080 Oh, playing the... Yes, yes, that's it. Of course, I'll be there. Thanks, son. 118 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,120 It's a kick up the bum. 119 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,840 Yeah, well, he doesn't know that. 120 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,640 No, I've been kicked out of the Royal Oak. 121 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,580 It's hard to think about it, Gary, and the thing is, I agree with you. 122 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,240 It'll be arranged, of course it will. But they say the war will be over soon. 123 00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:56,880 It's time for a new start. 124 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:58,560 Yes, right. 125 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:00,760 California. 126 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,640 What? California, Gary. 127 00:07:04,860 --> 00:07:07,000 You had a great life there before the war, didn't you? 128 00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:11,840 Hollywood stars singing you songs, money rolling in. Why stay here when we can 129 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,200 have all the things they've got over there? 130 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,560 Yeah, well, Phoebe, it's a big decision. 131 00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:18,780 I mean, it's a different way of life over there. 132 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,180 Mm, steak. 133 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:21,840 I'm whiskey sour. 134 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,380 I'm going to a drive -in and toasting marshmallows on the beach. 135 00:07:26,260 --> 00:07:27,480 All your friends are here? 136 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,100 We'd have your friends. 137 00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:30,580 Bruce and Demi. 138 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:32,640 Tom and Nicole. 139 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,860 Yes, Phoebe, I know that. Bill and Monica. 140 00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:36,180 Yes, Phoebe. 141 00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:40,080 You see, Hollywood has its drawbacks. 142 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:44,040 I mean, you try and lay your hand on a plate of whelks or a pig's trotter. 143 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:48,620 That's the old life, Gary. We'd be starting a new life. Me and you and 144 00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:49,620 Michael. 145 00:07:49,790 --> 00:07:52,250 I mean, when we've finally done for Adolf Hitler, there's nothing to keep 146 00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:53,310 is there? 147 00:07:53,710 --> 00:07:54,790 What have we got to lose? 148 00:08:01,590 --> 00:08:02,590 Ron? 149 00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:08,890 Is someone there? 150 00:08:09,930 --> 00:08:11,470 Help me, I'm stuck. Who is it? 151 00:08:12,390 --> 00:08:16,250 Um, it's Gary. Gary, great. For God's sake, help. I'm a prisoner in my own 152 00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:17,250 fraud. 153 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,720 Hold on. Do you want to get it on or get it off? 154 00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:24,660 Well, I heard that before. 155 00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:28,220 Well, let's just... Sorry. 156 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,160 No, 157 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,100 can I just get you onto the light? Oh, get on with it. I can't sit like this 158 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,100 day. 159 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:36,679 Ah, 160 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:41,320 yep, I can see it's just caught there. Yep, got it. Ow! Oh, sorry, sorry, 161 00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:44,220 There, there we are. 162 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,140 Gary didn't know whether to go up or down. 163 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:56,020 No, she had the dress caught on her head, and it's not how it feels. Not how 164 00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:57,640 looks. I saw that, Gary. 165 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,720 I saw everything, fortunately, for you. 166 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:03,840 Oh, I just wondered if you fancied going down to the pub for a spot of lunch and 167 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:04,880 a bit of a chat. 168 00:09:05,140 --> 00:09:07,420 And I can see you're still on your way back from a good night out. 169 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:11,980 I was moving Flick's car, Gary, to make room for the team that will shortly be 170 00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:13,720 arriving from High Magazine. 171 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,300 Ron and Flick in Ron's delightful Mayfair home. 172 00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:23,910 If the little chat involves solving your marital problems, past and present... 173 00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:26,270 Oh, my life is in turmoil. Could you sit there, mate? Sorry. 174 00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:30,570 I spend a week trying to sort things out with Evolve. Definitely an uphill 175 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,770 struggle, right? Then I get back to 1944 to discover that Reg is being retired, 176 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:38,910 the brewery have given us notice, oh, and Phoebe has decided that after the 177 00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:40,650 we should start a new life in California. 178 00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:46,490 Sorry, Gary, I'm under orders from Flick to do a little placement of the objet d 179 00:09:46,490 --> 00:09:51,890 'art before the high guys arrive. So the agony and session will have to wait. 180 00:09:52,430 --> 00:09:53,450 What is that? 181 00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:59,890 That, Gary, is a new work by one of our most exciting young artists. 182 00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:04,990 Next to this guy, Damien Hirst looks like Jeff Hirst. 183 00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:08,190 And what's it called, 20 Dead Hamsters? 184 00:10:08,550 --> 00:10:10,250 No, it's called... 185 00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:12,300 Tears before bedtime. 186 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,620 But what is it? 187 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,880 It's 20 dead hamsters. 188 00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:26,220 Look, Gary, make Yvonne your priority. That's my advice, first things first. 189 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,980 After all, you don't have to worry about California till V -Day. 190 00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:35,800 California, Gary. That's where the action is. 191 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,080 Well, I've been saying it for some time, and I think he's right. 192 00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:43,040 I mean, it's all very well setting up Nature Boy franchises all over the 193 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,040 but we need to be over there running things. 194 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,060 It's a happening place, Gary. 195 00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:50,540 But things won't happen unless I happen to be there to help them happen. Help 196 00:10:50,540 --> 00:10:51,540 them happen for me. 197 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,040 Possibly for us. 198 00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:56,140 Move? Move to California? 199 00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:57,700 Exactly. 200 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:58,840 How? 201 00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:01,460 Well, I considered holographic projection. 202 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:06,280 And cloning. But I finally came down in favour of getting on an aeroplane. 203 00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:10,740 Just leave everything behind? 204 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:15,380 Well, now you mention it, Gary, I will be leaving a little bit of myself 205 00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:17,340 Look at these. 206 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:22,360 If what? 207 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,160 These are pictures of you with no clothes on. 208 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,060 You're naked all over, especially the bits that matter. 209 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:34,500 The Millennium Dome experience includes a tour around a gigantic Perspex 210 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,900 sculpture of a man and woman fused together. 211 00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:40,060 I have been modelling the female parts. 212 00:11:40,540 --> 00:11:43,560 Oh, my, look at these pictures. You've been modelling all the female parts. 213 00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:46,300 Look, just a minute. 214 00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:48,700 What do you mean, fused together? 215 00:11:49,060 --> 00:11:50,560 Fused where, exactly? 216 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,460 Yvonne, have you been doing a bit of fusing on the side? 217 00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:55,880 Oh, you're such a philistine. 218 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,620 The fusing is in the mind of the artist. 219 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,980 Gary, people will walk up me on an educational voyage of discovery. 220 00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:06,100 And just how will they get in, Yvonne? Answer me that. 221 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,780 There's to be a non -specific aperture. 222 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,120 How can you do that? 223 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:18,160 How can you stand there, 130 feet high, stark naked, with people standing inside 224 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,200 your tit saying, I can see my house from here? 225 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,610 It's all right, darling. They've gone. 226 00:12:38,690 --> 00:12:39,850 Thank God for that. 227 00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:45,290 Seven hours and nothing on the table but plastic grouse and wax fruit. 228 00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:49,210 You can't be afraid without being bored, darling. We all have to do it. 229 00:12:49,730 --> 00:12:54,170 Parties and gallery openings and film premieres, appearing in glossy 230 00:12:54,990 --> 00:12:56,690 Everyone's fed up to the tattlers. 231 00:12:57,550 --> 00:12:58,870 It's the price you pay. 232 00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:00,349 For what? 233 00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:02,170 Well, amongst other things, getting designer discounts. 234 00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:06,210 In fact, it's late -night shopping in Knightsbridge. I thought a little retail 235 00:13:06,210 --> 00:13:07,850 therapy might be a pleasant distraction. 236 00:13:09,190 --> 00:13:11,650 I thought we could ring out for a pizza. 237 00:13:14,470 --> 00:13:16,250 Shopping makes me sexy, you know. 238 00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:18,310 Does it? 239 00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:22,410 Well, spend, spend, spend. 240 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:36,340 It's worse, Ron. It's getting worse. Things are getting worse. 241 00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:37,920 Things no better, then. 242 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,460 Yvonne wants to go to California. 243 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,480 I thought that was Phoebe. Phoebe and Yvonne. 244 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,200 Phoebe in pursuit of a new life, Yvonne in pursuit of new money. 245 00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:49,600 Well, that's OK. Then you'll all be in California. 246 00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,940 There's no time portal in downtown L .A. 247 00:13:54,140 --> 00:13:55,140 Commute. 248 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:57,440 Commute, yeah. 249 00:13:57,820 --> 00:14:00,200 Say goodbye to Phoebe in Los Angeles, 1945. 250 00:14:01,130 --> 00:14:04,890 Fly to England on a propeller -driven crate that makes four stops, get to the 251 00:14:04,890 --> 00:14:09,070 East End, pop through to the present day, cab it to Heathrow, get on the 252 00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:12,610 arrive in Los Angeles in time to say hello to Yvonne and then start the 253 00:14:12,610 --> 00:14:13,610 journey. 254 00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:15,850 I didn't say it would be easy. 255 00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:21,750 Look, talk them out of it. Find a way. 256 00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:23,410 Offer them an alternative. 257 00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:25,209 Distract them. 258 00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:28,310 Women are very easily distracted, I find. 259 00:14:28,850 --> 00:14:29,850 An alternative? 260 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:31,570 Yeah. 261 00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:33,630 Yeah, you might be on to something there. 262 00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:36,690 A new start. 263 00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:40,270 You know, that just might work. 264 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:54,930 I don't 265 00:14:54,930 --> 00:14:55,930 know, Gary. 266 00:14:56,610 --> 00:14:59,110 Nightclub. It's a lot different to a pub. 267 00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,740 No cribbage? No spitting on the floor? 268 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:07,020 Well, a pint of wallop and a knees up against a singer and a... What's the 269 00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:08,020 with a cherry in it? 270 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,480 Well, you think you'd have a singer, do you? 271 00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:11,520 Little stage over there. 272 00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:13,740 Piano. There is a singer. 273 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:15,780 Terrific girl. 274 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,060 Knows all the numbers. You could probably keep her on. 275 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:19,440 Hey, that's an idea. 276 00:15:19,980 --> 00:15:21,980 She's good, is she? Ah, the punter's a lover. 277 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:23,360 Oh, sounds perfect. 278 00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:28,800 Noel Coward said he comes here all the time. 279 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,540 I told him we were on the lookout. He couldn't recommend this place highly 280 00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:32,900 enough. He says it's a gold mine. 281 00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:34,900 Can we afford it, Gary? 282 00:15:35,180 --> 00:15:38,560 Well, we'd be renting it, you see, not buying. And you'd be stealing it from 283 00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:41,840 If I didn't have to make a quick agreement, I'd be holding out for a 284 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,140 price. Yes, Noel said you were in a hurry. 285 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,080 Why do you want to make such a quick deal? 286 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,600 Jazz club up for grabs in Soho. 287 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,720 Surrounded by bookies, runners, under -the -counter magazine shops and cheap 288 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,300 tarts. All the posh punters get down there. 289 00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:58,360 You could call it Bonnie Scott's. 290 00:16:00,390 --> 00:16:01,810 Is this microphone on? 291 00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:03,570 I'll give it a try. 292 00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:13,590 Blue moon You saw me standing alone 293 00:16:13,590 --> 00:16:19,910 Without a dream in my heart 294 00:16:19,910 --> 00:16:25,210 Take it on until the war's over, you mean. 295 00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:26,930 Before we move to California. 296 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:30,100 Well, just... Think it over. Stay and have another look round. 297 00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:32,060 It's Reggie's leaving due. 298 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:33,340 He's at the church hall. 299 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,620 Well, I'll go now. You come along later. Reg won't mind. There'll be plenty of 300 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:37,620 people. 301 00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:39,660 Gary? 302 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,260 I suppose I could be the singer, couldn't I? 303 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,000 You? 304 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:47,960 Well, yeah, I suppose you could. 305 00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:50,180 I hadn't really thought of that. 306 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:22,780 I'd written a little speech. 307 00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:24,980 Bit of a waste. 308 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:27,720 Looks like they've got the night wrong. 309 00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:31,700 It's a long time, 25 years. 310 00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:34,420 It's very nearly a quarter of a century. 311 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,220 Still, Margie'd be along as soon as next door come round to look after little 312 00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:41,220 Frankie. 313 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:43,840 She'd be a bit disappointed, I suspect. 314 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,000 What with all the food going, begging. 315 00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:49,760 Shame, innit, about them getting the night wrong. 316 00:17:51,850 --> 00:17:53,430 It's probably the impetigo, Reg. 317 00:17:53,630 --> 00:17:54,630 They're all not sickly. 318 00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:57,650 Yeah, that's right. That beer. Of course it will. 319 00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:01,870 What are you drinking, Reg? 320 00:18:02,590 --> 00:18:03,590 Old and mild. 321 00:18:04,530 --> 00:18:05,530 Fancy a drop of Scott? 322 00:18:06,530 --> 00:18:07,650 Yeah, wouldn't mind. 323 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:15,090 Do you fancy a Spam roll? 324 00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:16,410 No. 325 00:18:19,730 --> 00:18:20,730 I'd love one. 326 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,340 Cool. Well, let's hear it then. 327 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:27,700 What? 328 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:28,880 Your speech. 329 00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:31,860 Anna 330 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:38,840 Catherine, 331 00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:43,140 as I am, to public speaking, it falls to me to thank you all. 332 00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:49,520 Thank you for coming here to wish me well in my retirement. 333 00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:53,110 They say a policeman's lot is not a happy one. 334 00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:56,610 Well, I cannot comment on this, because I've never had a lot. 335 00:18:58,530 --> 00:18:59,530 That's a bit of a joke. 336 00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:01,290 Right, Jim. 337 00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:04,390 It affects a lot of friends. 338 00:19:06,690 --> 00:19:12,210 So, it only remains for me to say thank you for this handsome present of... 339 00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:15,230 Well, pocket watch is what they generally give. 340 00:19:16,570 --> 00:19:19,810 And say three cheers for the king. 341 00:19:20,980 --> 00:19:21,980 Hip hip. 342 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:23,620 Hooray. Hip hip. 343 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:25,640 Hooray. Hip hip. 344 00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:27,220 Hooray. 345 00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:28,840 Shall we do one for his knob? 346 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:38,240 That's your knees up, Reg? 347 00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:39,880 No. Oh, come on. 348 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,220 You and me, eh? 349 00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:43,579 Bottoms up. 350 00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:44,620 Yeah, bottoms up. 351 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:11,280 You put your left arm out, your left arm in, your left arm out and you shake it 352 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,159 all about. 353 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,440 You do the doggie doggie and you turn. 354 00:20:56,939 --> 00:20:57,939 We can't go. 355 00:20:58,820 --> 00:21:02,380 Beverly Hills, the Royal Oak. Me, stranded between the past and the 356 00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:05,220 If I told you the truth, you wouldn't believe me. Try me. 357 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:07,840 What were you doing down there? 358 00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:09,020 Hearing. 359 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:12,340 The Royal Oak, the past and the present. I wouldn't believe the truth. 360 00:21:12,580 --> 00:21:13,580 Why not? 361 00:21:14,660 --> 00:21:18,640 Well, because... All right. 362 00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:25,440 The truth is... The truth is that... You want the truth? 363 00:21:27,389 --> 00:21:29,230 I... I can't leave here. 364 00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:33,050 Because Britain is where I was born. 365 00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:37,370 I'm British, Yvonne. British through and through. British from back to front. 366 00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:39,330 British from nose to toes. 367 00:21:39,570 --> 00:21:40,750 British feet, Yvonne. 368 00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:43,770 British ankles, British shins... Very patriotic, Gary. 369 00:21:44,350 --> 00:21:46,350 The past and the present. What did you mean by that? 370 00:21:47,770 --> 00:21:50,030 Er... America. 371 00:21:50,550 --> 00:21:52,230 America and Britain. Look at the difference. 372 00:21:52,550 --> 00:21:55,630 America, all space -age and biotechnical. 373 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,840 And Britain with its proud history and traditions. And I love those traditions, 374 00:21:59,980 --> 00:22:01,480 Yvonne, because I am British. 375 00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:03,320 British heart, Yvonne. 376 00:22:03,820 --> 00:22:05,660 British liver. 377 00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:07,080 British kidneys. 378 00:22:07,420 --> 00:22:08,900 Skip the mixed grill, Gary. 379 00:22:09,940 --> 00:22:11,120 How about the roll oak? 380 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:14,440 British symbol. 381 00:22:14,660 --> 00:22:16,100 Symbol of Britain. 382 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:19,780 King Charles, up a tree. Roundheads searching everywhere. Could they find 383 00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:20,808 No. 384 00:22:20,809 --> 00:22:22,670 British ingenuity, Yvonne. British pluck. 385 00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:27,610 Gary! British oak tree know -how. So you'd be homesick. I get the message. 386 00:22:27,910 --> 00:22:30,010 But there's no need to panic. I was just going for a weekend. 387 00:22:30,430 --> 00:22:31,430 Just a recce. 388 00:22:31,590 --> 00:22:35,250 But right now I am needed for an emergency sitting by the milled -on 389 00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:38,210 Apparently it's a matter of where they stick the turnstile. 390 00:22:40,070 --> 00:22:41,310 Yvonne, we have to talk. 391 00:22:41,990 --> 00:22:43,310 I'll be back by seven. 392 00:22:43,950 --> 00:22:45,790 Oh, you'll be proud of me when it's finished. 393 00:22:46,070 --> 00:22:47,230 Oh, yeah, yeah. 394 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:51,760 As the millennium is rung in across the land, my wife's naked body will be 395 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,380 available to anyone with the price of admission. 396 00:22:54,060 --> 00:22:56,600 Oh, I'll certainly be standing in line for the official opening. 397 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:01,920 It is a great honour. They could have chosen Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss, but 398 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:02,920 chose me. 399 00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:06,200 Well, they're expecting a lot of visitors wanting to allow for maximum 400 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,000 Jokes like that are not the best route out of the spare room, Gary. 401 00:23:24,110 --> 00:23:25,490 Afternoon. Afternoon, Gary, lad. 402 00:23:28,710 --> 00:23:32,610 Sergeant Commissioner Reginald Dedman, late of the Metropolitan Police Force. 403 00:23:32,950 --> 00:23:34,110 A vacancy occurred. 404 00:23:34,730 --> 00:23:36,830 Well, Reg, you're the perfect man for a vacancy. 405 00:23:38,370 --> 00:23:39,890 Message for Mr Number 27. 406 00:23:40,490 --> 00:23:44,190 Mrs Number 27 is down at Blue Door Club getting things ready for this evening. 407 00:23:44,350 --> 00:23:45,670 Wants you to meet her there at eight o 'clock. 408 00:23:45,910 --> 00:23:46,910 Right, thanks. 409 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:48,600 Wait a minute. 410 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:50,520 Sergeant Deadman. 411 00:23:50,740 --> 00:23:54,580 Police Constable Deadman, as was, now becomes Sergeant Commissioner. 412 00:23:55,420 --> 00:23:58,340 Promotion resulting from the fact that the stripes come with the uniform, the 413 00:23:58,340 --> 00:24:01,660 uniform comes with the job, stripes are very firmly attached to the sleeve, and 414 00:24:01,660 --> 00:24:03,380 the sleeve's very firmly attached to the uniform. 415 00:24:03,820 --> 00:24:06,240 And you're very firmly attached to the stripes. 416 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,900 I'll put in for it as soon as I heard about being retired. 417 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:14,440 The previous Sergeant Commissioner can no longer soldier on, thanks to emeroids 418 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:15,440 and work. 419 00:24:16,629 --> 00:24:18,010 Phoebe never said anything to me. 420 00:24:18,810 --> 00:24:20,610 Phoebe wouldn't talk about emeralds. 421 00:24:29,270 --> 00:24:30,530 Hi. Hi. 422 00:24:31,070 --> 00:24:34,690 Look, things about California you may not have fully considered. 423 00:24:34,990 --> 00:24:36,110 There's no proper football. 424 00:24:36,310 --> 00:24:38,350 It's state law that you have to be on a diet. 425 00:24:38,590 --> 00:24:40,290 Mickey Mouse lives just down the road. 426 00:24:40,570 --> 00:24:44,230 You say tomato, but they say tomato. Let's call the whole thing off. Well, 427 00:24:44,230 --> 00:24:46,370 there's nothing to get up to. I'm not upset. 428 00:24:46,590 --> 00:24:49,110 I just don't want to spend the rest of my life amongst people who have to go 429 00:24:49,110 --> 00:24:51,170 into analysis because they've had a bad manicure. 430 00:24:51,870 --> 00:24:54,390 Look, take your coat off. I've got another bottle of nice. We'll talk this 431 00:24:54,390 --> 00:24:55,390 through. 432 00:24:56,430 --> 00:24:57,430 What? 433 00:24:57,910 --> 00:25:00,010 I can't stop. I've just popped back to change. 434 00:25:00,630 --> 00:25:03,030 The Mildom think tank want me to join them for tapas. 435 00:25:03,930 --> 00:25:07,390 Yvonne, you said we could talk about California, about the rest of our lives. 436 00:25:07,910 --> 00:25:10,630 There's been an urgent rethink on the Perspex, Yvonne. 437 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,020 They've had a look at the back elevation and they're thinking of slipping in a 438 00:25:14,020 --> 00:25:15,020 donking doughnut. 439 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:19,920 Oh, I wish you hadn't told me that. 440 00:25:20,940 --> 00:25:24,420 I'm needed to model new positions, so I couldn't possibly think about setting up 441 00:25:24,420 --> 00:25:25,420 Nature Boy in California. 442 00:25:25,980 --> 00:25:26,980 You couldn't? 443 00:25:27,220 --> 00:25:28,600 Well, not for at least a week. 444 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:52,680 saying a prayer for someone I really could care 445 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:53,680 for. 446 00:25:57,660 --> 00:25:58,660 Evening, Gary Ladd. 447 00:26:01,620 --> 00:26:05,640 Phoebe's idea, help out behind a bar, chuck out any troublemakers, make sure 448 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:06,640 it's members only. 449 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,500 Sergeant Commissioner, barman and bouncer, eh? 450 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,380 I'm stretching me potential. 451 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:13,680 Are you? 452 00:26:14,220 --> 00:26:15,760 Perhaps that uniform needs letting out. 453 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,000 You! 454 00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:52,940 First night under new management, eh? 455 00:26:53,260 --> 00:26:54,059 How's it going? 456 00:26:54,060 --> 00:26:55,080 Gary, it's wonderful. 457 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,600 Lots of customers, all drinking cocktails at two and six ago. 458 00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:00,580 And you seem to like me. 459 00:27:00,780 --> 00:27:01,960 I knew it would work out. 460 00:27:02,260 --> 00:27:03,460 A new life, eh? 461 00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:06,680 Feels a little bit strange, though. No pub. 462 00:27:07,060 --> 00:27:08,960 No. Still got Reg, though. 463 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:10,280 I need help here. 464 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,900 You need help, but you gave the job to Reg anyway. 465 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,200 He needs to be kept busy. First day of his retirement, he set about fixing a 466 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:17,959 leaky tap. 467 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,740 In the end, he and Margie had to swim for it. 468 00:27:20,650 --> 00:27:23,190 I'll do another number, then we'll try one of those half -dollar cocktails. 469 00:27:23,550 --> 00:27:24,770 Yeah. Harvey Warbaker? 470 00:27:26,470 --> 00:27:27,470 No, nothing. 471 00:27:31,690 --> 00:27:32,790 She seems happy. 472 00:27:33,010 --> 00:27:34,990 Yeah, yeah, she's really at home here. 473 00:27:35,510 --> 00:27:37,190 Not missing the Royal Oak too much. 474 00:27:37,790 --> 00:27:39,950 And hasn't mentioned California either. 475 00:27:40,690 --> 00:27:45,710 Now, to finish with, a song composed by my husband, Gary Sparrow. 476 00:28:01,260 --> 00:28:03,940 The sky is gray.