1 00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:02,750 Good night, sweetheart. 2 00:00:02,990 --> 00:00:09,310 All my prayers are for you. Good night, 3 00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:14,850 sweetheart. I'll be watching all you. 4 00:00:15,190 --> 00:00:21,050 Tears and parting may make us alone. 5 00:00:22,210 --> 00:00:27,650 But will the dawn bring a new day? 6 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:33,640 Of course I still miss you. 7 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,960 Of course I haven't sought solace in the arms of another woman. 8 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,560 No, Ron has not led me astray, I promise you. 9 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:46,640 In fact, I've hardly seen him the last few days since he moved out. Yes! 10 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,660 Now, of course I can't wait to see you. 11 00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:56,000 Yeah, all right. Yeah, I love you too. 12 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:57,920 What? 13 00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:01,050 So does knobby knobbit, yes. 14 00:01:04,410 --> 00:01:07,370 Well, that, needless to say, was Yvonne. 15 00:01:07,950 --> 00:01:11,030 She's having a horrible time in Korea and wishes I was there. 16 00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:16,370 But the good news is she'll be home soon and is eagerly looking forward to 17 00:01:16,370 --> 00:01:17,950 cuddling up with her loving husband. 18 00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:23,530 Assuming, and here I quote, that a certain scouse freeloader is no longer 19 00:01:23,530 --> 00:01:27,970 dividing his time between sprawling his whale -like chassis all over her sofa 20 00:01:27,970 --> 00:01:29,650 and ram -raiding her fridge. 21 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:40,930 I was on the verge of vanquishing Zargo, ruler of the black planet, rescuing 22 00:01:40,930 --> 00:01:45,210 Princess Daxia and bamboozling the 15 shape -changing dwarfs of Mysteria. 23 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,500 Has anyone ever told you you're a sad bastard? 24 00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:51,220 Stella. 25 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:52,920 You. 26 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,360 Yvonne. Stella's mum. 27 00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,580 And that girl from the Kentucky Fried Chicken with the ring through her nose. 28 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,860 Who was that on the phone? Your formidable lady wife? 29 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:03,039 How do you guess? 30 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,620 Your cringing body language. 31 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,020 How is the ever -decreasingly little lady? 32 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,320 Bearing up. 33 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,320 Isn't that what women do when they have a baby? 34 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:11,720 That's bearing down. 35 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:13,500 I'll have to remember that. 36 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,220 So, is she okay? 37 00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:19,820 Yeah. Except she's bored, lonely and suffering from permanent indigestion. 38 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:24,200 Korean food doesn't agree with her. I'm surprised Korean food has the nerve. 39 00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:28,580 Still, she's really looking forward to getting home at the weekend, you know. 40 00:02:28,980 --> 00:02:30,260 Seeing her own little house. 41 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,960 Being alone with her own little husband. 42 00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:36,680 I think the roaring ogres of Zahm have affected my hearing. 43 00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:41,600 You promised you'd find somewhere else to stay when Yvonne came back. 44 00:02:42,180 --> 00:02:43,180 Fair enough. 45 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,040 There's still one whole day to go, though. 46 00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:47,290 Who would game for him? I'd get lucky tonight. 47 00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:48,590 Oh, you found a flat? 48 00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:50,090 No, I found an orgy. 49 00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:58,210 Empathy. A different kind of club for the unattached, where like -minded young 50 00:02:58,210 --> 00:03:02,190 and wealthy professionals can make new friends in a relaxed, sophisticated 51 00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:06,270 milieu. Yeah, but with luck it'll be a rabid meat market where women outnumber 52 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,270 men five to one. 53 00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:09,050 Why don't you come along? 54 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:13,320 Oh, yet the last thing I need is a like -minded new friend of the opposite 55 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,200 gender. You could lend me moral support. 56 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,880 I don't think it's your morals that you want supporting. 57 00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:21,540 Anyway, I promise to take Phoebe to see Mrs Miniver. 58 00:03:21,860 --> 00:03:22,860 Who's she? 59 00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:24,060 She's a film. 60 00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:25,460 Oh, well. 61 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:28,660 I can hardly compete with slap and tickle in the back row of the Roxy. 62 00:03:29,140 --> 00:03:33,120 Lipstick on your collar, the rustle of petticoats, the twanging of suspenders. 63 00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:35,080 There's not going to be any slap and tickle. 64 00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:38,100 Well, there might be a slap. I doubt there'll be any tickle. 65 00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:41,690 still keeping herself pure for the sake of the unborn sparrow to be. 66 00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:44,050 She's not starting her own religion, is she? 67 00:03:44,590 --> 00:03:45,970 Why bother going back? 68 00:03:46,230 --> 00:03:48,170 Because I love Phoebe and she loves me. 69 00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:51,190 Well, I love Yvonne too, of course. 70 00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:52,490 Of course. 71 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:57,450 But, I don't know, World War II just seems so much more tranquil than the 72 00:03:57,450 --> 00:03:58,450 present day. 73 00:04:00,970 --> 00:04:03,910 Phoebe isn't always arguing and assuming I'm always wrong. 74 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,650 Plus, she's expecting my baby. 75 00:04:05,930 --> 00:04:06,930 Isn't everybody? 76 00:04:09,060 --> 00:04:10,480 You can still go out, though. 77 00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:14,760 Oh, come on, five women to every man. Sex isn't everything, Ron. 78 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:16,899 From my perspective, it isn't anything. 79 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,920 If I go on my own, perhaps I'll break my duck. 80 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,700 I don't think you'll impress anyone if you take your bath toys with you. 81 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:27,820 Maybe I'll meet a beautiful, lonely millionaireess with her own penthouse, 82 00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:30,580 Well, save you having to buy a copy, wouldn't it? 83 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:51,760 That was the best film I've ever seen. 84 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,640 I preferred Forrest Gump. 85 00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:56,160 I mean, that's come round this way, yeah? 86 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,200 Where are you going? 87 00:04:58,680 --> 00:04:59,960 Back to the Royal Oak, of course. 88 00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:02,460 Via the chip shop, just in case they're frying tonight. 89 00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:03,319 They're not. 90 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,960 The ship bringing the lard in got sunk. 91 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,920 Oh. Oh, well, looking on the bright side, next time they haul the nets in, 92 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,240 fish will be ready cooked. Come on. 93 00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:13,400 We can't go. We missed the first five minutes, didn't we? 94 00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:15,840 Yeah, but we know what happens, don't we? 95 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,680 Hitler is vanquished by Greer Garson and a load of upper -class English 96 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:20,900 villagers with posh accents. 97 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:22,220 Don't run it, Gary. 98 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,920 I saw you wipe away a tear. 99 00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:26,600 Yeah, when I burnt my hand on that bloke's woodbine. 100 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,780 Anyway, I thought they had lovely speaking voices. 101 00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:31,600 Wish I sounded like that. 102 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:32,920 You're joking. 103 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:34,580 I wish you spoke like that, too. 104 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:35,800 Oh, no way. 105 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,960 Can't stand all that la -di -da public school posing. Gets right up my nose. 106 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,260 And don't you just hate the way you never see anyone in the pictures who 107 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:44,109 like us? 108 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:48,170 What, unless they're playing funny working -class characters, going, Oh, 109 00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:50,370 Governor, that's a smart tip for your wedding, and no mistake. 110 00:05:51,490 --> 00:05:52,750 I'll chew it off and all. 111 00:05:53,030 --> 00:05:56,230 Well, of course people don't talk like us in the flicks, cos we don't talk 112 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,230 proper, do we? 113 00:05:57,590 --> 00:06:00,470 That's why I want our nipper to go to a public school, so he can learn to speak 114 00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:01,470 Nye. 115 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,890 Phoebe, do you know anything about public school? 116 00:06:04,550 --> 00:06:07,210 I saw Goodbye, Mr Chips three times. 117 00:06:08,190 --> 00:06:09,610 Ria Garson was in that, too. 118 00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:11,790 Yeah, well, so the name is Greer, anyway. 119 00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:14,890 Maybe they asked her mother what she wanted to call her while she was still 120 00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:16,710 being born, and she went, Greer? 121 00:06:18,750 --> 00:06:19,750 It's just going to start. 122 00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:21,130 Of course it is. 123 00:06:21,610 --> 00:06:26,290 Well, once we've sat through the B feature, the newsreel, the public 124 00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:31,710 short, never thought I'd get nostalgic about badly shot commercials for the 125 00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:33,050 Bombay Palace Tandoori. 126 00:06:37,070 --> 00:06:40,090 What about Tom Brown's school days, then? That's hardly an advertisement for 127 00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:41,009 boarding school. 128 00:06:41,010 --> 00:06:42,150 Yeah, well, it's only a film. 129 00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:46,210 What are you doing here, Stanley? Where's Reg? Evening, Mrs B. 130 00:06:46,610 --> 00:06:48,630 Reg asked me to keep an eye. He had to get weaving. 131 00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:50,610 Oh, so he's finally getting a toupee, then? 132 00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:54,369 What's that? 133 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:55,370 He didn't say. 134 00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:57,610 But he was in a right to an eight, and no mistake. 135 00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:01,130 No, you take the weight off your plates of meat, love. 136 00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:02,890 I'm coping like a custard cream. 137 00:07:03,930 --> 00:07:06,350 Well, half a bit and a port and a limp. 138 00:07:06,590 --> 00:07:07,590 Right you are, guv. 139 00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:10,550 It'd take us for the time of year, eh? 140 00:07:11,210 --> 00:07:15,110 I went down the Apples and Pears to the cellar for some light ales. It was right 141 00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:16,470 brass monkeys and no mistake. 142 00:07:17,710 --> 00:07:19,170 Have you ever worked with Greg Garson? 143 00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:23,230 No, I haven't, but she'd be very welcome round these parts. 144 00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:25,510 Lovely with her crack lid and no mistake. 145 00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:30,530 Of course, if you want your child growing up speaking like that and no 146 00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:34,030 mistake... Look, I just don't want our kid to talk like he's got a plum in his 147 00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:35,850 mouth. You're just like my dad. 148 00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:37,900 That's a vicious thing to say. 149 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:39,099 No, you are. 150 00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:41,680 He was always complaining about toffs and snobs. 151 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,320 Didn't like anyone he thought was better than him. No, it's not that. Look, 152 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:49,640 Phoebe, private education is divisive. People come out of those schools 153 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:50,780 they're better than anyone else. 154 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,240 Well, they are. 155 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,980 Otherwise, it's like saying a pedigree dog isn't better than a mongrel. 156 00:07:56,300 --> 00:08:00,020 Or a Rolls Royce isn't better than a rusty old pushbike. 157 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,480 I went to a state school. I did all right. 158 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,160 Grammar school, was it? 159 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:05,400 Well, yeah, sort of. 160 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:08,880 Well, maybe things were different in a posh place like Cricklewood. 161 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,920 Around here, if anyone got into the grammar, we had a street party. 162 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,660 But things will be different after the war. 163 00:08:15,940 --> 00:08:18,120 It'll be a lot easier to get into a grammar school. 164 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,560 But it's not just what they learn you. 165 00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:21,980 Teaching. 166 00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:23,580 Well, 167 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:25,500 it's everything. 168 00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:29,500 Mum was in service before she met Dad, and she worked in a lot of top -throw 169 00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:34,360 houses, and she used to say the thing about the knobs is they're debonair. 170 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:40,039 You've got a lot of good traits, but you're not debonair, are you? 171 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,360 I'm not even sure what debonair means. 172 00:08:43,340 --> 00:08:48,240 Well, it means being like Leslie Howard or Laurence Olivier. 173 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,320 Yeah, but they're not debonair. They're just acting. 174 00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:55,200 Engorge your ear, Gary. I really need your advice. 175 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:56,880 Yeah, well, first, can I ask you something? 176 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:00,380 Yeah, be quick about it. Would you call me debonair? What do you want to go 177 00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:01,380 changing your name for? 178 00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:06,990 Just forget it, Reg. 179 00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:08,550 What do you want my advice about? 180 00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:10,310 Well, it's Margie Hook's old man, see? 181 00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:14,290 Oh. Well, he hasn't found out that his little Frankie is really your little 182 00:09:14,290 --> 00:09:16,450 Frankie, has he? No, not that, thank heavens. 183 00:09:16,710 --> 00:09:19,830 But he's been knocking her about, accusing her of flirting with the 184 00:09:19,830 --> 00:09:20,830 on their bus. 185 00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:21,749 Has she been? 186 00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:25,570 As Margie had it, she was just being pleasant, but he's a pigger, Jack. Here, 187 00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:28,210 I've got a good mind to go round and give him a foppeny one meself. 188 00:09:28,430 --> 00:09:29,710 Reg, is that wise? 189 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:31,640 No, Phoebe, it ain't a good idea. 190 00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:35,380 Cos in the first place, he's twice my size. In the second place, the 191 00:09:35,380 --> 00:09:39,540 Metropolitan Police has a policy of not interfering in what we call domestics. 192 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:43,380 And C, cos then he'd find out about me and Margie and little Frankie. 193 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,140 What would you do, Gary? 194 00:09:46,180 --> 00:09:49,040 Well, it may be time to take your courage in both hands, Reg. 195 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,680 I'm in enough trouble without letting Drink Cloud be judgement. 196 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,680 Yeah, that would never do. 197 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,440 No, I mean, why don't you just set up home with Margie? 198 00:09:57,740 --> 00:09:59,520 You mean leave my Minnie? 199 00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:02,190 Well, the way she carries on, do you think she'd notice? 200 00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:04,210 What about my job? 201 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:08,030 At least my sergeant found out. That's right, Gary. It's all very well you 202 00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:09,490 telling people how to live their lives. 203 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:10,790 Reg asked my advice. 204 00:10:11,050 --> 00:10:13,730 It's all right. If Margie left him, he'd come round looking for me. And like I 205 00:10:13,730 --> 00:10:15,770 said, he's a big bugger. Pardon my French. 206 00:10:16,530 --> 00:10:19,630 Gary would back you up, wouldn't you, Gary? If it came to a punch -up. 207 00:10:20,170 --> 00:10:23,450 Oh, I don't know about that, Phoebe. I mean a punch -up. It's not exactly 208 00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:24,570 debonair, is it? 209 00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:35,430 You may never keep it. Well, it's not going to win an Oscar for special 210 00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:39,970 I kept praying for Arnold Schwarzenegger to come in and say, Hasta la vista, 211 00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:41,370 middle -class English stereotype. 212 00:10:42,490 --> 00:10:46,350 Only me and Phoebe had a row. What about post -war education policy? 213 00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:47,730 You're winding me up. 214 00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:48,930 It's a long story. 215 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:53,870 You know, you are going to make somebody a lovely charlady. Just making the 216 00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,910 place nice for your bride's imminent return? 217 00:10:56,450 --> 00:10:59,310 So you really are moving out, then? Gave you my word, didn't I? 218 00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:01,790 I'm going to dust up the office till I can find a flat. 219 00:11:02,150 --> 00:11:05,010 So you didn't meet a millionaire ass with her own penthouse? 220 00:11:05,270 --> 00:11:06,069 Not quite. 221 00:11:06,070 --> 00:11:08,210 A worker for the homeless with her own dusthouse? 222 00:11:09,090 --> 00:11:11,390 A sewage worker with her own... Oh, shut up. 223 00:11:13,510 --> 00:11:15,790 What about five girls for every boy, then? 224 00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:17,090 They were washing their hair. 225 00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:22,010 I did meet a very nice bloke called Pablo, though. Fair enough, I'm broad 226 00:11:22,010 --> 00:11:23,010 -minded. 227 00:11:23,110 --> 00:11:25,590 All right, I won't tell you, then. No, no, go on, go on. 228 00:11:26,170 --> 00:11:28,090 Pablo actually runs Empathy. 229 00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:32,540 He's got this beautiful girlfriend, Pandora. Met her through the business, 230 00:11:32,540 --> 00:11:35,860 speak. He said that a year ago, he was just like me. 231 00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:37,460 A sad bastard, you mean? 232 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:42,600 No, I mean chronically unlucky in love. 233 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,980 Until he went to a professional. 234 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:46,300 A professional? 235 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:51,940 You mean a lady of the night? A loose woman? A harlot? In short, a tart? 236 00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:54,360 No, I mean a surrogate. 237 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:55,780 Well, there's a difference. 238 00:11:57,580 --> 00:12:02,100 A surrogate is a woman who has undergone special training in order to intimately 239 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:05,500 analyse and improve a man's sexual and emotional performance. 240 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:07,300 Emphasis on the intimate. 241 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,500 She's got letters after her name and she's registered for VAT. 242 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:12,880 Really? 243 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,060 So she's an expensive tart. 244 00:12:16,540 --> 00:12:18,300 Predictable and unworthy. 245 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,100 As it happens, she is extremely busy. 246 00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:24,220 But she might have a cancellation later this morning. Mm -hm. 247 00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:26,750 And if she does, she'll fit you in, won't she? 248 00:12:28,010 --> 00:12:32,730 If anybody wants me, I will be in the bathroom, beautifying myself on the off 249 00:12:32,730 --> 00:12:33,730 chance. 250 00:12:34,110 --> 00:12:36,190 You can put your own hoover away. 251 00:12:39,370 --> 00:12:41,050 Ron, she's not coming here, is she? 252 00:12:45,870 --> 00:12:46,870 Hello? 253 00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:49,310 Yes, yes, this is Mr Sparrow. 254 00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:10,590 Look, are you all right? 255 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:14,070 Look, I know you're not all right, but are you going to be okay? The nurse said 256 00:13:14,070 --> 00:13:15,049 you're going to be okay. 257 00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:16,290 Oh, Gary, it was awful. 258 00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:19,530 At first I just thought it was indigestion, and then on the plane I 259 00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:21,410 was going to die. It's all right, it's all right. 260 00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:22,610 You're going to be fine. 261 00:13:22,710 --> 00:13:23,710 I'll look after you. 262 00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:25,030 You promised. 263 00:13:27,350 --> 00:13:28,350 I'm so sorry. 264 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,650 Why? It's not your fault. 265 00:13:33,190 --> 00:13:35,290 Look, these things happen, right? 266 00:13:35,590 --> 00:13:36,670 You mustn't blame yourself. 267 00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:38,490 Oh, don't blame myself. 268 00:13:39,930 --> 00:13:42,690 A blimless face is little oriental sods I work for. 269 00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,470 Banquets every bloody night, eating God knows what. 270 00:13:47,390 --> 00:13:48,670 Time zone changes. 271 00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:52,130 Strange Asian germs flying around 15 -hour days. 272 00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:53,470 They shouldn't have made me go. 273 00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:56,450 Well, I did say if you didn't want to... You should have been a man. You should 274 00:13:56,450 --> 00:13:57,450 have put your foot down. 275 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,830 Well, whenever I put my foot down, you just kick me in the shin. 276 00:14:06,670 --> 00:14:07,830 I hate it being on my own. 277 00:14:08,650 --> 00:14:11,330 I thought the trip might be fun for a bit, but it wasn't. 278 00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:12,730 I was lonely too. 279 00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:16,630 I mean, I had Ron, but you can't really cuddle up with him for the night. 280 00:14:17,770 --> 00:14:19,970 Well, you could, but I bet you'd regret it in the morning. 281 00:14:20,550 --> 00:14:21,550 And his snores. 282 00:14:23,290 --> 00:14:24,390 I don't know what to say. 283 00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:29,110 Look, we're going to try again. We're going to have lots of kids. 284 00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:31,030 But we've been trying for ages. 285 00:14:31,890 --> 00:14:33,850 Yeah, well, it's not exactly a chore, is it? 286 00:14:34,490 --> 00:14:36,270 We quite enjoy terrain, don't we? 287 00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:38,650 Well, except when it clashed with a football. 288 00:14:39,150 --> 00:14:40,150 Well, yeah. 289 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,570 Wish I'd never got you interested in the game, though. 290 00:14:45,810 --> 00:14:47,750 You must be Mr Sparrow. 291 00:14:47,950 --> 00:14:51,110 Yes. Look, is she going to be all right? Please be assured of my heartfelt 292 00:14:51,110 --> 00:14:52,990 sympathy at this difficult time. 293 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,850 But I guarantee that your wife will make a complete recovery. 294 00:14:56,970 --> 00:14:59,870 We'll soon have you back on your feet, Mrs Sparrow. 295 00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:02,390 But you really must try and take things a little easier. 296 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,920 Let your husband cosset you for a change. 297 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,360 Yes, I will. I promise. 298 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,580 Look, I'll go and find a vase for you. 299 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,320 Helen. 300 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:13,960 Mummy. 301 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,180 My poor babe. 302 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,740 When did you get here so quickly? 303 00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,620 Yvonne phoned me from the ambulance. 304 00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:25,200 A girl needs her mother before her husband, Gary. 305 00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:28,340 Are you going to keep her in overnight? 306 00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:29,780 I'd like to. 307 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,940 You are private, aren't you, Mrs. Farrah? 308 00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:35,050 Then I think she should stay in for at least another 48 hours. 309 00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:37,170 That's terrible. 310 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,550 Do you mean if she was NHS, you'd give her two aspirin and send her home in an 311 00:15:40,550 --> 00:15:41,550 ambulance? 312 00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:43,170 Ambulance? 313 00:15:45,730 --> 00:15:46,730 Minicab. 314 00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:50,390 If you and your impossibly young -looking mother will excuse me. 315 00:15:50,790 --> 00:15:51,790 Mrs Barrett? 316 00:15:52,990 --> 00:15:54,850 He's rather gorgeous, isn't he? 317 00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:56,730 Very debonair. 318 00:15:57,210 --> 00:15:59,430 Why does everyone keep going on about being debonair? 319 00:16:00,730 --> 00:16:01,730 Doesn't matter. 320 00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:03,700 Well, if they're keeping you in, you'll need your things. 321 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,560 Has Gary brought your things, Evie? Well, I brought some nectarines. 322 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,220 Nightie? Bed socks? 323 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:11,520 Hair dryer? 324 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,720 Catherine Cookson? 325 00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:14,880 Well, no, I just dashed out of the house. 326 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,200 Typical man, shooting off half -cock. 327 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:21,080 Well, I'll just go back and fetch them. No, I'll go. You're bound to forget 328 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,100 something important. Look, Helen, all I... 329 00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:33,170 Try not to blame yourself. 330 00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:35,010 No, she doesn't blame herself. 331 00:16:35,530 --> 00:16:36,790 I was talking to you. 332 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:41,970 She's come out of her shell since the divorce, hasn't she? 333 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,440 Hi, I'm Ron. 334 00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:07,300 Oh, that's right. 335 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:09,760 I heard all about you. 336 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,540 What should I call you? 337 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:14,980 Mrs Shackleton. 338 00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,260 That's a bit formal, isn't it? 339 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,160 Well, this isn't a social call. 340 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:22,560 Where are you going? 341 00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:33,660 I just couldn't take it no more. 342 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,260 I mean, I know I swore I'd stick with him for better or worse. 343 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,660 But there's nothing in the marriage ceremony about taking a walloping every 344 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:41,439 other night. 345 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,440 I know, love. 346 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,480 And what's the point of turning the other cheek if all you get is a 347 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:46,480 that side and all? 348 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,120 Oh, I wish Reg was here. 349 00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:50,620 He'll turn up. 350 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,200 He always pops in for a cuppa around four o 'clock. 351 00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:56,200 Unless he's off apprehending dangerous felons. 352 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,800 Not much risk of that, eh? 353 00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:01,100 But he's a good one, isn't he? 354 00:18:01,550 --> 00:18:02,610 Art of gold. Yeah. 355 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,910 And I never flirted with the passengers. I never. 356 00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:06,949 Of course not. 357 00:18:06,950 --> 00:18:07,950 Get along, Phoebe. 358 00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,510 Margie, what are you doing here? 359 00:18:10,770 --> 00:18:12,130 What's happened to your face? 360 00:18:12,570 --> 00:18:13,830 She got hit by a bus driver. 361 00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:15,750 No. 362 00:18:16,110 --> 00:18:17,110 The animal. 363 00:18:17,990 --> 00:18:19,130 Where's my little Frankie? 364 00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:21,990 How are you doing, son? 365 00:18:22,919 --> 00:18:27,320 Well, when I say son, I'm just using it as a term of endearment. You know, like 366 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,680 mate or mucker. 367 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,580 Don't confuse him, Reg. He's only five. 368 00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:34,720 I don't see how you can go back to him now. 369 00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:36,600 Well, where else am I going to go? 370 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,460 I suppose I could put you up. 371 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,760 Be a bit of a squeeze. 372 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:43,420 No. I've been thinking about what Gary said and I've realised you're my 373 00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:46,180 responsibility now. You and little Frankie. 374 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:51,150 I'm going to ask Mrs. Bloss about the flat over the shop. Although, for 375 00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:53,250 purposes, I'll still be living with Minnie. 376 00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:56,630 Rich, you're one in a million. 377 00:18:56,990 --> 00:18:59,110 With a bit of luck, your old man never need find out. 378 00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:00,830 He already knows. 379 00:19:02,570 --> 00:19:04,930 I'm really sorry, love. I had to tell him about you and me. 380 00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:06,130 No, why? 381 00:19:06,510 --> 00:19:09,550 Well, I thought if he knew I was in love with a copper, it would frighten him 382 00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:10,489 off. 383 00:19:10,490 --> 00:19:13,730 But he just said if I left him, he didn't care if he lived or died, and 384 00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,450 his shift, he was going to come and sort you out. 385 00:19:15,790 --> 00:19:16,790 Oh, my sainted aunt. 386 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,750 Well, I told him you were an East End copper. 387 00:19:18,970 --> 00:19:21,730 You weren't afraid of some blustering bully of a bus driver. 388 00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:23,730 No, of course I ain't. 389 00:19:24,670 --> 00:19:27,170 Phoebe, you got any medicinal brandy left? 390 00:19:29,070 --> 00:19:31,150 You know I really do love you, don't you, Gary? 391 00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:33,450 Well, I am incredibly lovable. 392 00:19:34,010 --> 00:19:35,010 Ow! 393 00:19:35,910 --> 00:19:38,610 I had Mr Sheik on the phone when you popped out. 394 00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:40,870 He was ever so upset. 395 00:19:41,570 --> 00:19:44,150 He said I could take as long as I needed. He was sweet. 396 00:19:45,230 --> 00:19:47,110 Being Korean, I thought he'd be sweet and sour. 397 00:19:49,010 --> 00:19:51,930 So you don't hold the whole of South Korea responsible anymore? 398 00:19:52,530 --> 00:19:53,590 These things happen. 399 00:19:54,070 --> 00:19:56,390 You just never expect it to happen for you, do you? 400 00:19:58,230 --> 00:19:59,790 Perhaps it'll bring us closer together. 401 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:01,950 I hope so. 402 00:20:02,690 --> 00:20:03,690 Do you? 403 00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:05,310 Of course I do. 404 00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:09,610 It's just that sometimes you seem to be far more interested in the Second World 405 00:20:09,610 --> 00:20:10,610 War than in me. 406 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:11,750 It's just your imagination. 407 00:20:13,459 --> 00:20:16,320 Anyway, sometimes it seems to me you're more interested in your career. 408 00:20:17,060 --> 00:20:18,680 Well, that's going to change. 409 00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,220 This is a sign. 410 00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,620 From now on, we should put us first. 411 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,180 I'm going to take some time off so we can really be together. 412 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:27,920 Great. 413 00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:32,840 Did you manage to get everything? 414 00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:42,530 Gary, shouldn't you be getting back to that shop of yours? 415 00:20:42,870 --> 00:20:45,190 Oh, no, it's all right. I think Yvonne would like me to stick around here. 416 00:20:45,750 --> 00:20:46,750 Do you? 417 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:50,330 Well, if you need a break, Gary. 418 00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:54,150 Well, if you're sure, I suppose I could go and open up for a couple of hours. 419 00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:55,770 But you take care. Yeah. 420 00:20:56,670 --> 00:20:57,670 I'll see you soon. 421 00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,150 I'm not blind. 422 00:21:26,230 --> 00:21:27,270 Shall I put them in some water? 423 00:21:30,210 --> 00:21:31,029 What's wrong? 424 00:21:31,030 --> 00:21:32,110 I've been up the doctors. 425 00:21:33,790 --> 00:21:38,190 Oh, no. I'm fine. But where were you? You said you wanted to come. You 426 00:21:39,050 --> 00:21:41,190 So I said, OK, and then you don't turn up. 427 00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:42,790 I'm so sorry. I forgot. 428 00:21:43,210 --> 00:21:44,210 Obviously you forgot. 429 00:21:44,690 --> 00:21:47,110 Obviously I'm not as important to you as I used to be. 430 00:21:47,490 --> 00:21:48,490 Well, don't be silly. 431 00:21:49,590 --> 00:21:51,150 That's right. Call me stupid. 432 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:53,920 Phoebe, something came up. 433 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,720 Something really important. 434 00:21:57,780 --> 00:21:59,020 More important than me? 435 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,240 More important than our baby? 436 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,260 I'm beginning to worry about me and you, Gary. 437 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,540 You take the mickey out of the films I like, you get on your high horse because 438 00:22:09,540 --> 00:22:11,280 I want our child to have a decent education. 439 00:22:12,260 --> 00:22:13,880 Have you gone off me? 440 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,160 Well, of course not. 441 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,920 Have you seen another woman or something? 442 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:22,700 Now you're really being... Don't call me stupid again or I'll clock you one. 443 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,820 I had to then reg up the chemist for my tonic because you weren't here. 444 00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:30,800 I'm sorry. The record's stuck, Gary. 445 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:32,920 Look, OK. 446 00:22:33,180 --> 00:22:37,280 Whatever school you want our son or daughter to go to, that is fine by me. 447 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,500 I am trying to be more debonair. 448 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:42,600 Look. 449 00:22:46,460 --> 00:22:49,040 There's debonair and then there's daft. 450 00:22:51,179 --> 00:22:52,179 Come here. 451 00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:56,640 I'll try and be more responsible. 452 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:58,840 You'd better be. 453 00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:02,060 You didn't tell me Margie was here. 454 00:23:02,780 --> 00:23:07,020 Didn't forget, did you? I heard voices and an argument. I thought it might be 455 00:23:07,020 --> 00:23:09,620 Jackie. We were just having a small disagreement. 456 00:23:10,660 --> 00:23:11,660 How's little Frankie? 457 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,240 I think he's finally gone off to sleep. 458 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,580 He's hardly kept a wink this last week, what with all the fighting and the 459 00:23:16,580 --> 00:23:17,580 swearing. 460 00:23:17,820 --> 00:23:19,030 Oh. Frankie. 461 00:23:21,830 --> 00:23:23,070 So you've done it, then? 462 00:23:23,410 --> 00:23:26,090 You've left him? I couldn't take it no more. 463 00:23:27,050 --> 00:23:31,330 Why don't you play something nice for us, Gary? A lullaby or one of your 464 00:23:31,330 --> 00:23:32,330 romantic songs? 465 00:23:32,550 --> 00:23:33,469 A lullaby? 466 00:23:33,470 --> 00:23:35,530 I don't think I know any. 467 00:23:35,810 --> 00:23:36,810 Do you play the piano? 468 00:23:37,010 --> 00:23:38,010 A bit. 469 00:23:38,330 --> 00:23:39,830 You are lucky, Phoebe. 470 00:23:40,110 --> 00:23:43,250 Yeah. He is a bit debonair, isn't he? 471 00:23:57,450 --> 00:24:04,310 When you're down and troubled And you need some love and 472 00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:10,510 care And nothing, oh, nothing is going 473 00:24:10,510 --> 00:24:17,170 right Close your eyes 474 00:24:17,170 --> 00:24:22,430 and think of me And soon I will be here 475 00:24:22,430 --> 00:24:25,670 To brighten up 476 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,960 Even your darkest night. 477 00:24:30,740 --> 00:24:32,200 So this is it. 478 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:38,640 Tackling. You're leaving me for some bow -tie -wearing Nancy Boy piano player. 479 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,300 No, it's right there. I am not... Shut it. 480 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:46,060 Well, that's lovely, isn't it? I come all this way from Streatham to tell my 481 00:24:46,060 --> 00:24:51,680 lawful wedded wife I'm prepared to forgive her, to let bygones be bygones, 482 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,840 find her drooling over a fancy man. 483 00:24:55,530 --> 00:24:57,570 Actually, look, I'm not her fancy man. 484 00:24:57,770 --> 00:24:59,850 You've got it wrong, Jackie. Shut your row. 485 00:25:00,110 --> 00:25:01,270 I'll deal with you later. 486 00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:05,130 Oh, suede shoes, eh? 487 00:25:05,890 --> 00:25:08,170 I'll bet he wears eau de cologne. 488 00:25:08,430 --> 00:25:12,270 Oi, you can't just come into my pub and start... Nobody asked you to think 489 00:25:12,270 --> 00:25:13,270 you're nothing. 490 00:25:13,990 --> 00:25:18,090 So this is the long streak of piddle you've dumped me for. 491 00:25:18,390 --> 00:25:19,670 You want your eyes tested. 492 00:25:20,170 --> 00:25:22,470 Well, maybe if you didn't black her eyes quite so regularly. 493 00:25:22,750 --> 00:25:23,810 She's my wife. 494 00:25:24,669 --> 00:25:27,890 We've had such a lot of trouble we've been having with the buses recently. 495 00:25:28,690 --> 00:25:31,430 What with so many maintenance men called up. 496 00:25:31,910 --> 00:25:34,850 We have to do a lot of our own little jobs nowadays. 497 00:25:35,890 --> 00:25:40,190 I was only changing a set of spark plugs this afternoon. 498 00:25:40,630 --> 00:25:44,290 Now, look, I am not Reg Steadman. My name is Gary Sparrow. 499 00:25:44,830 --> 00:25:48,290 And I'm a member of the Secret Service. You hit me, you'll spend the rest of the 500 00:25:48,290 --> 00:25:52,470 war in the Tower of London. A coward and a liar. You picked a good one here, 501 00:25:52,490 --> 00:25:55,900 girl. Although, regardless of whether or not I am Reg, do you think physical 502 00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:59,040 violence really is the best way to deal with complex family conflicts? 503 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,240 Yes. Leave him alone. 504 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,920 Gary learned unarmed combat in Japan, didn't you, Gary? 505 00:26:05,980 --> 00:26:06,980 Yes, I did. 506 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:11,540 And I should warn you that my right hand is registered as a deadly weapon. Now, 507 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:12,920 you heard me warn him, didn't you, Phoebe? 508 00:26:13,820 --> 00:26:17,660 Gary, stop being debonair and hit him! I'm going to rip your kidneys out, 509 00:26:17,820 --> 00:26:20,480 Deadman. Look, I am not Reg Deadman. 510 00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:21,980 He is. 511 00:26:22,220 --> 00:26:23,220 Oh, dear. 512 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,020 Not the old look behind you trick. 513 00:26:26,860 --> 00:26:27,860 Oh, 514 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,260 Reg, talk about timing. 515 00:26:33,620 --> 00:26:35,860 Well, he was about to commit grievous bodily, wasn't he? 516 00:26:36,620 --> 00:26:38,440 Be lucky he'll get three years for this. 517 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,960 So he'll be in jail till the end of the war? 518 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,320 So you know when the war's going to end there, do you? 519 00:26:44,140 --> 00:26:45,800 Just a figure of speech, Reg. 520 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,100 Yeah, yeah, just a figure of speech. 521 00:26:51,850 --> 00:26:52,850 Don't worry, Sam. 522 00:26:53,650 --> 00:26:55,090 He's just having a bit of a kick. 523 00:26:57,690 --> 00:27:02,390 I thought you were going to dust in your office. 524 00:27:03,510 --> 00:27:06,250 Well, what with Yvonne and everything, I thought you might need a friend. 525 00:27:06,950 --> 00:27:07,950 Thanks. 526 00:27:08,110 --> 00:27:10,430 There's pizza in the oven and a fixed pack in the fridge. 527 00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:12,370 Oh, that is considerate. 528 00:27:12,930 --> 00:27:16,230 So a more than usually busy day in the wonderful world of time travel. 529 00:27:17,270 --> 00:27:18,270 Yeah, you could say that. 530 00:27:19,010 --> 00:27:20,190 Wasn't sure you'd be back tonight. 531 00:27:21,330 --> 00:27:22,330 Where do you think I'd be? 532 00:27:22,450 --> 00:27:23,570 Well, there's always Phoebe. 533 00:27:24,630 --> 00:27:25,630 No. 534 00:27:26,270 --> 00:27:28,130 Not with Yvonne in hospital, it wouldn't be right. 535 00:27:28,790 --> 00:27:29,790 I know. 536 00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:33,190 So, how was your day? 537 00:27:33,830 --> 00:27:34,830 Oh, fine. 538 00:27:37,070 --> 00:27:39,570 Hey, did your surrogate turn up? Not exactly. 539 00:27:40,450 --> 00:27:41,450 Hard luck. 540 00:27:41,630 --> 00:27:42,630 Not exactly. 541 00:27:45,450 --> 00:27:49,670 Well, Yvonne's mum swept in here like Desert Storm, claiming to know all about 542 00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:53,050 me, even though I'd never met the woman before in my life. So when she headed 543 00:27:53,050 --> 00:27:56,090 off to the bedroom, there was, quite understandably, what you might call a 544 00:27:56,090 --> 00:27:57,290 slight case of cross wires. 545 00:27:59,290 --> 00:28:01,610 Ron, you didn't think... It was an easy mistake! 546 00:28:02,970 --> 00:28:04,970 You'd never believe she was 51, would you? 547 00:28:05,210 --> 00:28:07,270 You can hardly see the liposuction scar. 548 00:28:08,810 --> 00:28:13,090 Ron, you didn't. Not with Yvonne. Gentlemen may kiss, but never tell. 549 00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:15,380 I'll tell you what, though, young Gary. 550 00:28:15,820 --> 00:28:17,980 You'd better start treating me with some respect. 551 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:23,160 Because if I play my cards right, I could be your father -in -law. 552 00:28:27,340 --> 00:28:29,820 Good night, sweetheart. 553 00:28:30,780 --> 00:28:33,680 Sleep will banish sorrow. 554 00:28:34,660 --> 00:28:37,640 Good night, sweetheart. 555 00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:41,000 Till we meet tomorrow. 556 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:53,200 Sweetheart.