1 00:00:00,140 --> 00:00:03,300 Good night, sweet heart. 2 00:00:03,820 --> 00:00:07,340 All my prayers are for you. 3 00:00:07,580 --> 00:00:10,860 Good night, sweet heart. 4 00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:15,000 I'll be watching over you. 5 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:21,200 Tears and parting may make us alone. 6 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:28,820 But with the dawn, a new day is born. 7 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,120 I'm sorry I woke you. 8 00:00:32,340 --> 00:00:33,340 Forgot my key. 9 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,840 I was in the middle of a dream where I was trapped in an Anderson shelter with 10 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:38,880 Vera Lynn. And I got here just in time. 11 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:40,980 Don't you ever go at Vera? 12 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:45,240 You might see her as some old dear who just bashes out endless renditions of 13 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:46,320 White Cliffs of Dover. 14 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,580 But in my other life, she's a major babe. 15 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,160 Gary Sparrow's Rear of the Year, 1941. 16 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:54,360 There's no satisfying you, is there? 17 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,840 Two birds on the go and still you dream about it? 18 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:01,840 Yeah, well, Ativan is 5 ,500 miles away in Korea, and Phoebe has gone into her 19 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:05,400 no -sex -please -we're -pregnant mode. All I can do is dream about it. 20 00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:07,220 How was the school reunion? 21 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,460 Yeah, yeah, it was good, good. 22 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:11,420 You wouldn't catch me at my school reunion. 23 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,400 They wouldn't invite you. You were expelled. 24 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:19,660 It was sad, though, seeing so many people stuck in such a rut. 25 00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:22,540 Yeah, well, you and Doctor Who apart, I suppose we all are. 26 00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:24,460 Mind you. 27 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,740 Samantha Hickey's filled out nicely since geography O -level. 28 00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:29,700 God, I used to fancy her. 29 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,160 Of course, she wouldn't look at me twice back then. 30 00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:34,100 A bit different now, though. 31 00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:35,460 You didn't. 32 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,680 As if. 33 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,820 Ron, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant. 34 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,320 Could have done, though. 35 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,780 My marriage is finally over. 36 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,040 What, again? 37 00:01:48,570 --> 00:01:52,510 Wrong. I ventured home this morning to collect a couple of shirts and caught 38 00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:55,630 and her boyfriend having full and very noisy sex on the living room carpet. 39 00:01:56,970 --> 00:01:58,070 I don't know what to say. 40 00:01:58,350 --> 00:02:00,530 It's the audacity of the man that gets me. 41 00:02:01,210 --> 00:02:06,390 Doing it in my house, in my living room, on my carpet, in front of my fire, with 42 00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:09,169 my Luther Vandross CD providing his rhythmic tempo. 43 00:02:10,410 --> 00:02:13,230 Hold on, I'm a bit confused here. It sounds like you don't actually mind him 44 00:02:13,230 --> 00:02:16,330 making love to your wife. What you can't stomach is that he's a freeloader. 45 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,340 Just another twist of the knife, you know? Well, yeah, yeah. 46 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,140 So what did you do? 47 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,700 I was cool and dignified. 48 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:23,920 Ah, good. 49 00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:26,440 All the time I was hitting him, I was cool and dignified. 50 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,420 Well, yeah, fair enough. I think you're entitled to give him a bit of a smack. 51 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:34,140 That's all it would have been, too, if my cricket bat hadn't been so 52 00:02:34,140 --> 00:02:35,980 conveniently to hand in the living room. 53 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,040 Is that blood on your shirt? 54 00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:40,500 His nose did rather explode. 55 00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:44,040 Well, how much damage did you do to the guy? 56 00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:47,530 Hard to say. The red mist came down, you know? Yeah, literally. 57 00:02:48,450 --> 00:02:49,710 Well, it can't have been that bad. 58 00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:52,550 I mean, you haven't got the police banging on your door, have you? 59 00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:56,370 Oh, bugger. 60 00:02:58,590 --> 00:02:59,750 You made a lovely couple. 61 00:03:00,610 --> 00:03:02,210 It was a good wedding, wasn't it? 62 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,250 Best knees up since the coronation. 63 00:03:05,630 --> 00:03:06,630 Bloomin' war. 64 00:03:07,190 --> 00:03:11,510 Isn't it right, losing a fine young chap like Donald? He's had his whole life in 65 00:03:11,510 --> 00:03:13,750 front of him. Don't upset yourself again. 66 00:03:15,310 --> 00:03:16,450 Let's open up, eh? 67 00:03:17,190 --> 00:03:18,270 Better to keep busy. 68 00:03:18,590 --> 00:03:19,670 Her upstairs won't approve. 69 00:03:21,090 --> 00:03:25,210 I doubt she'd think it's seemly. Well, with a bit of luck, she'll take the hint 70 00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:26,210 and clear off home. 71 00:03:26,390 --> 00:03:29,230 I pride myself on always looking for the best in people, and I know she's 72 00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:32,970 Donald's mum and she's grieving, but if Gerry was to send an incendiary bomb up 73 00:03:32,970 --> 00:03:35,190 her corsets tomorrow, this war would not have been in vain. 74 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:43,040 What a morning. Now, you've heard me talk about my friend Ron, haven't you? 75 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,900 Well, he's had this sort of domestic trouble. You'll appreciate this, Reg. 76 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,580 Caught his wife with her fancy man. 77 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:52,700 Anyway, Ron has only ended up giving him two busted ribs and a broken nose. So 78 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,500 I've had to go down to the police station whilst he was charged with 79 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,500 then remanded in custody. 80 00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:57,840 I don't know. Gary. 81 00:03:58,060 --> 00:04:01,080 Yeah, I know what you're going to say. The pram for the baby. I hadn't 82 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,580 forgotten. But look, if it's too late for us to go now, I promise tomorrow... 83 00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:04,580 Gary. 84 00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:06,100 Donald's bought it. 85 00:04:06,890 --> 00:04:07,890 He's what? 86 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,810 Well, you tell him it's none of his damn business. I'm perfectly capable of 87 00:04:13,810 --> 00:04:17,209 buying my own child a pram. I'm trying to tell you he's been killed. 88 00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:23,610 That sort of... Phoebe, I'm so sorry. 89 00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:26,130 When did you find out? A couple of days ago. 90 00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:29,910 I was desperate to get in touch with you. Isn't there a number I can ring you 91 00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:30,910 on? Well, no. 92 00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,650 When I'm not here, I'm incommunicado. 93 00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:33,910 Don't they have phones there, then? 94 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,200 Do you know how Donald... He was killed by a sniper. 95 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,640 Well, at least that means it was quick. 96 00:04:41,860 --> 00:04:43,000 Those guys are crack shots. 97 00:04:43,420 --> 00:04:44,420 No, he wasn't shot. 98 00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:46,820 Sniper fell out of a tree and it doddled on the head. 99 00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:48,740 I'm sorry. 100 00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:53,200 I'm so sorry. It's just, um, just shock. 101 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,020 Yeah, that pan knocked you for sticks. 102 00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:57,340 Once put my mini on her back for a week. 103 00:04:57,820 --> 00:05:00,280 Normally takes a yank with a pocket full of nylons to do that. 104 00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:06,000 I'm going, Phoebe. I shall see you at the church tomorrow. Don't be late. 105 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,660 That carpet in your front parlour could do with a good stiff broom, you know. 106 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,200 Who's this when he's at home? 107 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,940 This is Gary, a friend of mine and Donald's. 108 00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:17,340 This is Donald's mum, Dolly. 109 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,840 Well, hello, Dolly. 110 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,020 I was very sorry to hear of you. Bye, then. 111 00:05:26,380 --> 00:05:28,240 It'd be nice to get her back where she belongs. 112 00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:32,670 He'll be buried over in Egypt, will he? 113 00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:34,210 Yeah. 114 00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:37,430 But we've arranged to have a little memorial service for him tomorrow. 115 00:05:39,150 --> 00:05:40,750 Can't say I'm looking forward to it. 116 00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:42,590 Would you like me to come? 117 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:47,070 I don't think it's the sort of thing a widow should take her boyfriend to. 118 00:05:49,530 --> 00:05:51,270 Gary, I'm so glad you're back. 119 00:05:55,290 --> 00:05:56,290 I'm sorry. 120 00:05:57,170 --> 00:06:01,320 Just... Doesn't seem right under the circumstances. I feel enough of a cow as 121 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,320 is. Why? 122 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,260 My husband's died and I'm sad. 123 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:06,800 But that's it. 124 00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:09,540 I've hardly shed a tear for him. 125 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:14,080 I think this war's turned me into a real hard -hearted bitch. 126 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:15,540 No, it hasn't. 127 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:20,900 You feel the way you do because you never really loved Donald. Not in that 128 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:22,840 Great wife, eh? 129 00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:24,500 Don't be so hard on yourself. 130 00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:29,000 Donald felt the same way too. He realised yours was a marriage of 131 00:06:30,260 --> 00:06:31,800 You were friends, that's all. 132 00:06:33,180 --> 00:06:36,100 Do you know what was the first thought that went through my mind when I got the 133 00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,100 telegram? 134 00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:38,720 Me and you getting married. 135 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:40,880 God, you're right. 136 00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:44,840 Don't sound too keen, will you? 137 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,700 Well, no, I just mean I hadn't made the connection. 138 00:06:48,780 --> 00:06:51,120 Yeah, well, why would you? 139 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:54,900 Come here. 140 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,080 Phoebe? 141 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,040 Blimey. You remind me of that film we saw. 142 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:04,440 Gone with the Wind? 143 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:05,560 No. 144 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,960 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Get out, Sophie. 145 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,000 Phoebe. I'm sorry. 146 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,820 It's hardly the right time for a proposal, is it? 147 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,920 Anyway, you know you don't have to ask. 148 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,380 You know the answer's yes. 149 00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:25,000 Gary, I can't. 150 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,220 Not... Just yet. 151 00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:31,200 Look, if there's one thing I know Donald would have wanted, it's for you to be 152 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,400 happy. Am I right? 153 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:38,260 Well, I want you to have a great big wedding with all the trimmings. What do 154 00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:39,260 think? 155 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:43,540 Yeah. Yeah. And invite everyone. Hold on, Gary. There is a war on, you know. 156 00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:45,060 Nah, I can fix that. 157 00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:47,280 Come on, let's have a little celebration. 158 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:48,700 No, not now. 159 00:07:48,980 --> 00:07:51,580 No, I wasn't thinking about throwing a street party, you know. 160 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,040 Just a drink to mark the occasion. 161 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,120 What missed out? 162 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:57,580 Well, have you got any champagne? 163 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,040 Only the quake we keep for when Lord and Lady Astor pop in. 164 00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:03,300 Well, that's all I have to do, then. 165 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000 There. 166 00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:08,540 To us. 167 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,500 To us and Donald. 168 00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:13,780 And Donald. 169 00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:15,500 God rest him. 170 00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:21,440 Look, I really appreciate this. Couple of minutes, that's all. 171 00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:26,170 Ron! Great news. You've got me out. No, me and Phoebe are getting married. 172 00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:31,630 You see, Donald's been killed, so there's no need to wait. 173 00:08:32,510 --> 00:08:33,549 I'm in the nick! 174 00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:36,350 Well, obviously. 175 00:08:37,070 --> 00:08:39,990 So just for once, I thought I might be your prior concern. 176 00:08:40,570 --> 00:08:44,490 But oh no, once again, your life takes precedence yet again. 177 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:46,470 I'm sorry, I'm just so happy. 178 00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:49,810 A man's dead, your best friend's in jail, and you're happy. 179 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,780 What's it going to take to make it a real zippity -doo -dah sort of day? 180 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,780 An outbreak of bubonic plague? 181 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:57,280 Well, this is charming. 182 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,740 I go out of my way to come and visit you. Only so you can show off about your 183 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:02,780 latest bloody conquest. 184 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:07,160 A particularly insensitive thing to do, as I am in here because my own love life 185 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,160 lies in tatters. 186 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,860 OK. Maybe I was being insensitive. I'm sorry. 187 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:13,720 Come and sit down. 188 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,300 I can't. 189 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:16,720 Why? 190 00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:20,470 You've never been the subject of an over -intrusive strip search, have you? 191 00:09:22,150 --> 00:09:23,150 What, actually? 192 00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:28,930 Do you know what time you're in court tomorrow? 193 00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:30,290 11 o 'clock. 194 00:09:31,130 --> 00:09:32,810 It's a complete and utter travesty. 195 00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,850 There should be some recognition of natural justice. 196 00:09:36,370 --> 00:09:37,990 I caught the man with my wife. 197 00:09:38,290 --> 00:09:40,170 I should be entitled to give him a slap. 198 00:09:40,990 --> 00:09:44,130 Well, wrong, come on. Assaulting him with a cricket bat's a bit more than a 199 00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:46,310 slap. Read the dictionary definition. 200 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,580 A slap to it with an open hand or something flat. 201 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,900 So I hit him with the flat bit. 202 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:56,820 You will be there tomorrow, won't you? 203 00:09:57,300 --> 00:10:00,120 They won't give me bail unless you can provide me with a secure address. 204 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:01,399 I'll be there. 205 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,620 And my solicitor says they may want a surety, so bring plenty of cash. I will 206 00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:05,800 do. Don't let me down, Gary. 207 00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:09,280 I don't care if the whole of the German high command come into the Royal Oak for 208 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,120 a pickled egg. I am a prior concern. 209 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:12,880 I promise. 210 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,860 Well, come on, can't you congratulate me on my news? 211 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,050 Congratulations. 212 00:10:19,090 --> 00:10:20,090 What about Yvonne? 213 00:10:21,130 --> 00:10:24,030 Don't you have the slightest twinge of conscience about making Phoebe your 214 00:10:24,030 --> 00:10:25,030 second wife? 215 00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:28,770 Although chronologically, Phoebe will be your first wife and Yvonne will become 216 00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:29,770 your second wife. 217 00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:35,050 Betrayed and demoted. What a lucky girl Yvonne is to have a treasure like you as 218 00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:35,829 a husband. 219 00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:39,630 Look, what happens between me and Phoebe has no bearing on my relationship with 220 00:10:39,630 --> 00:10:43,730 Yvonne. Now, it may sound callous, but for the sake of my sanity, I've had to 221 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,370 learn to compartmentalise my life. 222 00:10:45,630 --> 00:10:47,750 Phoebe is in one box, Yvonne is in the other. 223 00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:50,170 And currently you're in this one. 224 00:10:54,410 --> 00:10:57,750 No, marrying Yvonne was just something I drifted into, you know. It's the next 225 00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:58,750 logical step. 226 00:10:58,930 --> 00:11:02,590 But with Phoebe, it's so much more... romantic. 227 00:11:05,110 --> 00:11:06,490 Are you a cynic? 228 00:11:07,670 --> 00:11:08,910 Sorry, mate, I'll have to go now. 229 00:11:09,619 --> 00:11:11,020 Looks like my luck's changing. 230 00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:12,780 See you tomorrow. 231 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,160 So, uh, you've got men and women in together now, do you? 232 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,380 Never. 233 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,000 That wasn't a woman. 234 00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:31,540 On thysnicker, Vicar. 235 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,860 I don't think I've ever had the pleasure. 236 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:38,060 Where did you get them? 237 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,620 A friend of mine's got contacts at the American Embassy. 238 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:42,920 They're not Black Market or anything. 239 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,620 Quite a treat. 240 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,960 Clever chaps, these yanks. Thank God. 241 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,560 I mean, it's a good job they're on our side, isn't it? 242 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:53,980 How are you bearing up? 243 00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:55,639 All right. 244 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:56,780 Case of having to, really. 245 00:11:56,980 --> 00:12:00,200 Is there anything particular you'd like me to say about Donald at this 246 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,200 afternoon's service? 247 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,190 No. I don't think so. 248 00:12:04,410 --> 00:12:08,190 Obviously, it'll be a sad occasion, but I want you to think of it not so much as 249 00:12:08,190 --> 00:12:12,030 a lament for Donald's death, but a celebration of his life. 250 00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:13,530 I will. 251 00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:14,550 Thanks. 252 00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:17,310 Hi. Just a flying visit. I'm on my way to court. 253 00:12:17,510 --> 00:12:19,910 Sorry, but... Gary, this is the Reverend Pym. 254 00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:23,010 Gary, the friend I was telling you about. 255 00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:25,030 Ah. How do you do? Hi. 256 00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:27,850 Well, you don't let the grass grow, do you? 257 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:32,080 Well, look, whatever she wants, Vicar, that's fine. Money is no object, OK? 258 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,380 Now, I want our wedding day to be the happiest day of her life. 259 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,160 Problem? 260 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,480 The Vicar is here to talk about Donald's memorial service. 261 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,800 You must let me explain. I think you've said quite enough, thank you. 262 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,100 Perhaps I'd better be getting along. 263 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,720 I'm so sorry to have embarrassed you like this. 264 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,260 Look, why don't you take some of these for the orphanage? 265 00:12:57,380 --> 00:12:58,540 That's very kind of you. 266 00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:02,080 Please, take these two. No need. No, really, least I can do. 267 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,640 Are these from your embassy contacts? 268 00:13:04,980 --> 00:13:05,980 Oh, absolutely, yes. 269 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,440 The ambassador has them at all his receptions. 270 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:14,000 Well, I'll say goodbye then. I'll see myself out. 271 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,520 I'm not judging you, my dear. 272 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,320 The whole world's upside down at the moment. 273 00:13:27,630 --> 00:13:28,630 How could you? 274 00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:31,950 Look, we've been talking about our wedding. I saw the dog collar. I just 275 00:13:31,950 --> 00:13:33,550 assumed... I'm sorry. 276 00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:36,530 As if I'd be arranging our wedding on today of all days. 277 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,590 Surely you must realise we can't start thinking about that for ages. 278 00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:43,730 Well, not for a couple of months, obviously. A couple of months? 279 00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:45,810 Donald's only just died. 280 00:13:46,430 --> 00:13:49,410 We'll have to wait at least a year. It's only decent. 281 00:13:49,890 --> 00:13:51,690 Well, the baby's due in five months. 282 00:13:52,670 --> 00:13:54,110 So? So? 283 00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:57,620 I want to be married before it's born so that it has my name. 284 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,760 Well, I'm sorry, but I've got my reputation to think of. 285 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:05,860 Once we're married, you can adopt him. Or her. I shouldn't have to adopt my own 286 00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:10,200 child. That was always the plan. When Donald was around, but now... He's dead! 287 00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:12,700 My God. 288 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,200 You're happy he's gone, aren't you? 289 00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:18,860 No. Now he's out the way, you can claim me for your own. 290 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,940 I never thought you could be so callous. 291 00:14:22,170 --> 00:14:24,770 Phoebe, it's not like that. I'm just trying to say that things are different 292 00:14:24,770 --> 00:14:28,190 now. In the eyes of the world, I'm still Donald's wife. 293 00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:33,830 Now, if you don't mind, I've got to get ready for his memorial service. 294 00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:38,290 So I'd like you to leave before I change my mind about marrying you at all. 295 00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:40,530 Phoebe, we can... 296 00:14:48,490 --> 00:14:52,730 Having listened to all the evidence, I do feel this case is sufficiently 297 00:14:52,730 --> 00:14:54,890 to merit referral to the Crown Court. 298 00:14:55,210 --> 00:14:56,990 Therefore, I... May I say something, please? 299 00:14:58,010 --> 00:15:01,430 As long as you're quick, I'm supposed to be teeing off in 25 minutes. 300 00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:04,910 I want to address my remarks to the gentleman of the press. 301 00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:07,250 If someone could give him a nudge. 302 00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:12,610 My presence in this courtroom makes a mockery of British justice. 303 00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:18,720 I feel certain that any jury of my peers will recognise an Englishman's 304 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:24,960 inalienable right to defend his goods, chattels and misses from slimy little 305 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:30,040 rags. I haven't finished yet. Throw them off. Ron, leave it. 306 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,820 I'd like to make an application for bail, Your Honour. 307 00:15:34,190 --> 00:15:35,190 Any objections? 308 00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:36,210 No, Your Honour. 309 00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:40,010 Providing the defendant can provide a secure address other than the marital 310 00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:44,630 home. We also feel an adequate cash surety should be lodged with the court. 311 00:15:45,510 --> 00:15:47,170 I think £500 is enough. 312 00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:49,570 Ah, well, that does leave us with a small problem, Your Honour. 313 00:15:49,930 --> 00:15:53,110 You see, both of those conditions were supposed to be met by a friend of Mr 314 00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:54,110 Weakrock. Ah! 315 00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:56,450 Mr Gary Sparrow. 316 00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:59,150 Unfortunately, he hasn't arrived at the court yet. 317 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,050 Young H! Sorry, sorry. Bit of a problem. 318 00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:05,060 I take it this is Mr Sparrow? 319 00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:06,260 It is, Your Honour. 320 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,840 Ron needs 500 quid. Have you got it? Yep, no problem. 321 00:16:10,540 --> 00:16:12,360 Damn. Damn? What's damn? 322 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:14,800 I've got the wrong wallet. 323 00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:19,240 I suppose these are still legal currency in court. I'm going to kill him! Calm 324 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:20,240 down, Mr Wheatcroft. 325 00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:22,240 Peter, I'm going to get my other wallet. 326 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,800 Yes, well, make sure you're here before five. 327 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,900 Otherwise, you'll have to spend another night in the cells. 328 00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:27,620 I promise, I promise. 329 00:16:37,239 --> 00:16:38,239 What's going on? 330 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,280 Donald's mum decided to bring her lot back here for a bit of a wake. 331 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,300 I don't think it's a good idea you being here. 332 00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:46,560 No, I'm not staying long. I've lost my wallet. It hasn't turned up here, has 333 00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:50,240 Well, as it happens, I did find a wallet behind the bar. Oh, brilliant. 334 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,160 Well, can I have it, please? 335 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,120 As soon as I can verify that you are the owner of the said article. 336 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,500 It's monogrammed GS. 337 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,060 You are not the only GS in the world. 338 00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:02,780 Oh, sorry, yes, I was forgetting. 339 00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:06,339 Gloria Swanson often pops in for a bit of light bar work, doesn't she? When it 340 00:17:06,339 --> 00:17:08,740 comes to lost property, there's a proper laid -down procedure. 341 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,160 It's black with a silver trim. 342 00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:15,720 Correct. Oh, you nearly caught me there. 343 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:16,960 What's inside it? 344 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:21,940 Well, there's a number of experimental 50 -pound notes. 345 00:17:22,380 --> 00:17:23,700 50 -pound notes? 346 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,440 What on earth would you use them for? 347 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,740 Well, it must be over 500 quid there. 348 00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:30,320 You could buy a house with that. 349 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,000 Who's this then? 350 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:33,939 It's the Queen. 351 00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:35,840 That is not Her Majesty the Queen. 352 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,500 Anyway, if it could have anyone on it, it ought to be the King. 353 00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:41,120 You are not telling me the truth, are you, son? 354 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,540 All right, Reg, I'll tell you the truth. 355 00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:46,420 But you must promise not to tell another living soul. 356 00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:49,980 They're German forgeries, Reg. 357 00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:52,380 They plan to flood England with those. 358 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:56,500 Making the entire population think that King George is a transsexual. 359 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,620 Rubbish. King George is as British as I am. 360 00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:05,840 Well, why didn't you tell me in the first place? 361 00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,100 What else is there? 362 00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:13,240 Well, there's a Barclay card. An identification card made of a sort of 363 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:14,240 cardboard. 364 00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:17,580 Oh, and a note to remind me to buy a toilet roll. So far, so good. 365 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,140 What do you mean? That's it. 366 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:20,980 You've forgotten this little chap. 367 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,080 What exactly is a mate? 368 00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:30,940 It's a condom, Marge. 369 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:33,980 You know, a sheath. 370 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:35,700 That's in birth control. 371 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,460 Yeah, big and thick and come in a box. 372 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,420 Not mine. 373 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:43,860 Well, and then mine, son. 374 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,280 Size isn't everything. 375 00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:52,550 No, they're modern ones. 376 00:18:52,890 --> 00:18:53,890 They fold up. 377 00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:54,950 A lot. 378 00:18:56,030 --> 00:18:57,030 I'm sure. 379 00:18:58,950 --> 00:19:00,890 I thought I asked you not to come. 380 00:19:01,150 --> 00:19:02,150 I forgot this. 381 00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:03,570 Well, if you've got it, go. 382 00:19:04,170 --> 00:19:05,530 Before Dolly sees you. 383 00:19:06,510 --> 00:19:09,350 Dolly's heard all the local tittle -tattle about you and Phoebe. She's been 384 00:19:09,350 --> 00:19:10,350 sounding off. 385 00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:11,530 Oh, has she now? 386 00:19:11,770 --> 00:19:13,050 I think you'd better leave it, son. 387 00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:14,350 No, I want to put her straight. 388 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:15,990 How? Well, tell her it's not true. 389 00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:19,910 Well, it is true, isn't it? You and Phoebe have been, pardon my French, 390 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:20,910 on. 391 00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,920 Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'd better leave it. 392 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:25,300 All right, bye. 393 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:26,840 There he is. 394 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:33,060 There's the fancy man she's been carrying on with while my poor Donald 395 00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:34,060 for his country. 396 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,020 Mrs Bamford, I don't think this is the time or the place. 397 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:38,560 Oh, listen to Mr Lardy Dar. 398 00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:42,160 Today of all days, he hasn't got the decency to stay away. 399 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,180 Gary's right, Dolly. We don't want a scene. 400 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:45,680 You shut your trap, PC Claude. 401 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,100 Lovely bleeding war you've had with your nylons. 402 00:19:50,780 --> 00:19:54,140 And your fancy chocolates. And there's a new gramophone upstairs. You didn't get 403 00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:55,140 that off the ration. 404 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,740 Why don't you get yourself down the West End with the rest of the Piccadilly 405 00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:02,320 Tarts? Now, look here. Leave it, Gary. You've got no shame, have you? 406 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,840 My boy was too good for you. I always said it. 407 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:09,660 I don't know how you can live with yourself the way you deceived him. For 408 00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:11,980 information, Donald knew all about me and Gary. 409 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:13,720 Liar! I'm not! 410 00:20:13,930 --> 00:20:17,390 He knew our marriage was a sham. The main reason he took me on was to get 411 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:21,330 from you. Either that or drink himself into an early grave, like his dad. 412 00:20:21,910 --> 00:20:23,910 You made their lives a misery. 413 00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:26,350 You spiteful baggage. 414 00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:28,330 And you're a wicked old woman. 415 00:20:29,170 --> 00:20:31,230 Donald was a kind, decent man. 416 00:20:31,970 --> 00:20:33,930 Oh, God knows where he got it from. 417 00:20:36,430 --> 00:20:37,269 You OK? 418 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:40,990 I ought to slap your face. Look, you've had your say. Just stop it, please. 419 00:20:41,190 --> 00:20:42,190 I haven't even started. 420 00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:44,870 Leave her alone. She's pregnant, for God's sake. 421 00:20:48,190 --> 00:20:49,190 Gary. 422 00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:51,070 Not like this. 423 00:20:51,610 --> 00:20:52,610 Whose is it? 424 00:20:54,050 --> 00:20:55,870 Go on. Whose is it? 425 00:20:57,030 --> 00:20:58,030 It's Gary's. 426 00:20:59,110 --> 00:21:00,110 You! 427 00:21:00,350 --> 00:21:03,690 I'll take me home. 428 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,720 I can't stay in this knocking shop a minute longer. 429 00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:09,980 Hoorah! 430 00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:11,580 Phoebe, Phoebe! 431 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,860 Just relax, just relax. 432 00:21:22,260 --> 00:21:23,660 The fresh air doing you good? 433 00:21:24,460 --> 00:21:25,460 Oh, fine. 434 00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:28,220 It was just a reaction to the last couple of days. 435 00:21:28,740 --> 00:21:30,820 Yeah, well, I haven't exactly been a help, have I? 436 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,260 Going on at you about getting married sooner. 437 00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:36,400 There's no need to worry about my reputation now, is there? 438 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,820 The whole world knows my business. 439 00:21:39,260 --> 00:21:40,680 Yeah, and that's my fault too. 440 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,820 It would have all had to come out at some point. 441 00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:47,700 Besides, I'd already decided he was right. 442 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,520 We should get married as soon as possible. 443 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,720 Well, I mean, I don't want to push you into it. 444 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:56,640 If it's going to make the gossip even worse. 445 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,400 Talk's cheap. 446 00:21:59,460 --> 00:22:01,320 So is life during a war. 447 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:06,760 When I was sitting in that memorial service, it dawned on me we could all be 448 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:07,760 killed tomorrow. 449 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,820 We've got to grab happiness while we can. 450 00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:14,460 Well, I couldn't be any happier than I am right now. 451 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:16,640 Smooth talker. 452 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,600 This is it. 453 00:22:24,220 --> 00:22:25,220 Donald Bamford. 454 00:22:26,020 --> 00:22:27,680 1919 to 1942. 455 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,040 Buried far away, remembered every day. 456 00:22:36,460 --> 00:22:37,460 Such a waste. 457 00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:40,120 What is? 458 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:41,380 This war. 459 00:22:42,180 --> 00:22:46,200 I mean, one minute Donald is living with you in a pub in the East End, and the 460 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:50,020 next he's got a rifle shoved into his hand, he's shunted off to some foreign 461 00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:51,820 country where it's raining snipers. 462 00:22:52,820 --> 00:22:55,440 It's just a life thrown away. 463 00:22:57,980 --> 00:22:59,940 Don't you say that, Gary Sparrow. 464 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,880 Don't you dare say his life was thrown away. 465 00:23:04,340 --> 00:23:05,460 But he was so young. 466 00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:09,050 So what are you saying we should do? Give up and let Hitler win? 467 00:23:12,110 --> 00:23:13,110 Donald's a hero. 468 00:23:15,130 --> 00:23:16,130 They're all heroes. 469 00:23:19,350 --> 00:23:20,350 You're right. 470 00:23:20,890 --> 00:23:21,890 Of course you are. 471 00:23:25,590 --> 00:23:27,190 It's better than a headstone, isn't it? 472 00:23:29,010 --> 00:23:30,990 It's alive and growing. 473 00:23:32,930 --> 00:23:35,230 I wonder what it'll look like in 50 years' time. 474 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,360 Please, God, we'll be able to come back and see it. 475 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,060 Of course, we'll be old and grey by then. 476 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,280 You speak for yourself. 477 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:47,800 Oh, God. 478 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:49,560 Oh, God. 479 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,600 Four o 'clock. Look, Phoebe, I'm going to have to dash. 480 00:23:52,820 --> 00:23:53,920 Aren't you going to see me back to the pub? 481 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,480 Well, yeah, yeah, of course. We're going to have to hurry, though. 482 00:23:57,220 --> 00:23:58,360 Doctor's told me to take it easy. 483 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,320 Yeah, I know, I know, but could you just take it easy a bit quicker? 484 00:24:10,570 --> 00:24:13,470 There's a Gary Sparrow, the man who's never there for me. 485 00:24:13,690 --> 00:24:14,710 I'm sorry I'm late. 486 00:24:14,930 --> 00:24:15,930 How come you're out? 487 00:24:16,070 --> 00:24:19,410 The prison hasn't been built back in whole dangerous Ron Wheatcroft. 488 00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:23,150 I jumped one of the guards and then me and the mad transvestite went over the 489 00:24:23,150 --> 00:24:25,130 wall. And the real reason is? 490 00:24:26,350 --> 00:24:29,250 My ever -loving wife got her boyfriend to drop all the charges. 491 00:24:29,830 --> 00:24:30,829 Well, that's great. 492 00:24:30,830 --> 00:24:34,870 She told the magistrate that our marriage was a rare and precious thing 493 00:24:34,870 --> 00:24:37,530 she and I owed it to each other to give it a second chance. 494 00:24:38,070 --> 00:24:40,100 What's that? That is... Brilliant. 495 00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:41,820 No, it's crap. 496 00:24:42,540 --> 00:24:45,680 It's just a ploy so that her and her boyfriend don't get charged with wasting 497 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:46,680 police time. 498 00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:52,120 The only reason she let me off the hook was because I agreed to a divorce. 499 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,340 And in the meantime, I've got to let her bit on the side, move into my house, 500 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,140 sleep in my bed, use my stuff. Ron, we've done this. 501 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,180 The main thing is you're out. 502 00:25:04,180 --> 00:25:05,720 To what sort of life, eh? 503 00:25:06,830 --> 00:25:10,870 Being taken to the cleaners by my wife in a divorce settlement and sleeping in 504 00:25:10,870 --> 00:25:11,870 your spare room. 505 00:25:13,010 --> 00:25:14,110 My spare room? 506 00:25:14,610 --> 00:25:15,610 Oh, Gary. 507 00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:17,810 You're not going to let me down again, are you? 508 00:25:18,610 --> 00:25:20,930 No, no, no. No, of course not, mate. You're welcome. 509 00:25:21,150 --> 00:25:22,750 Well, until Yvonne comes back. 510 00:25:23,350 --> 00:25:24,350 Thank you. 511 00:25:25,530 --> 00:25:26,530 Fancy a drink? 512 00:25:27,090 --> 00:25:28,630 I fancy several drinks. 513 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,240 You wait till I tell you about the day I've had. 514 00:25:37,580 --> 00:25:39,300 We'll talk about your day as well. 515 00:25:40,820 --> 00:25:46,480 Why are we here? 516 00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:50,440 I've had 12 pints. I need a chicken lindelook. 517 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,280 I want to see if I can find Donald's tree. 518 00:25:54,300 --> 00:25:57,100 Because it would be amazing to think that... 519 00:25:57,360 --> 00:26:01,720 Only this afternoon I saw it was just a little sapling, like that, and then a 520 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:05,020 couple of hours later I'm going to see it all... big. 521 00:26:11,660 --> 00:26:12,880 You don't mind, do you, mate? 522 00:26:17,020 --> 00:26:18,840 Bloody tree, where is it? 523 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:22,440 Oh, no way. 524 00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:24,740 Now, this looks familiar. 525 00:26:27,210 --> 00:26:28,510 I recognise that headstone. 526 00:26:28,770 --> 00:26:31,590 And the steeple is there. 527 00:26:32,170 --> 00:26:38,630 So, Donald's tree must be... 528 00:26:38,630 --> 00:26:42,610 Oh, yes. 529 00:26:45,530 --> 00:26:46,730 I found it. 530 00:26:47,990 --> 00:26:50,050 Ron! I found it! 531 00:26:51,990 --> 00:26:53,210 Found what, mate? 532 00:26:53,410 --> 00:26:54,410 The tree! 533 00:27:07,790 --> 00:27:08,790 Want to buy a pram, lady? 534 00:27:09,450 --> 00:27:10,450 Gary! 535 00:27:11,110 --> 00:27:14,650 Well, I know we said we'd get it together, but I saw it and I thought, 536 00:27:14,650 --> 00:27:15,650 better snap it up. 537 00:27:16,130 --> 00:27:17,150 It's brand new. 538 00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:19,390 Where on earth did you find it? 539 00:27:19,670 --> 00:27:21,310 Well, you've got to know the right people. 540 00:27:22,630 --> 00:27:24,870 I can't wait to push our little baby in it. 541 00:27:27,250 --> 00:27:28,149 What's this? 542 00:27:28,150 --> 00:27:33,010 Oh, that's just something an engaged man would buy his fiancée. 543 00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:40,500 rings. Hmm. 544 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:47,000 What? Is there something wrong with them? No. No, they're lovely. 545 00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:50,300 It doesn't matter. Thank you. 546 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:55,160 Oh, right. You thought it was an engagement ring. 547 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:58,180 No. No, I didn't. 548 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:09,720 Is it all? 549 00:28:17,940 --> 00:28:19,760 It's all right, Rachel. It's all right. 550 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:22,980 She's just very, very happy. 551 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,940 Good night, sweetheart. 552 00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:34,100 Sleep will banish sorrow. 553 00:28:34,860 --> 00:28:37,680 Good night, sweetheart. 554 00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:52,840 Good night, sweetheart.