1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,560
Good night, sweetheart.

2
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:10,200
All my prayers are for you. Good night,
sweetheart.

3
00:00:10,660 --> 00:00:14,640
I'll be watching all you.

4
00:00:15,020 --> 00:00:20,840
Tears and parting may make us alone.

5
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,880
But with the coming,

6
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,420
a new day is born.

7
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,200
John wanted you to phone me.

8
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,980
Yes, and instead I decided to call round
in person.

9
00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:44,260
Profound apologies, but that's the sort
of ignorant git I am.

10
00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:46,800
So what's the panic?

11
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:51,280
I spent last night stuck in an air raid
shelter with an accordion player who did

12
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:52,940
non -stop George Formby impressions.

13
00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:58,120
So I was late getting home and I'd
forgotten the cover story we agreed to

14
00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,740
Yvonne. Now, was I supposed to be
working in Basildon or Braintree?

15
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:02,300
Cheltenham.

16
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,080
Cheltenham?

17
00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:05,580
I'm losing it.

18
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:07,130
Yeah, well, don't get your knickers in a
twist.

19
00:01:07,430 --> 00:01:08,970
I haven't spoken to Yvonne yet.

20
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:12,010
You could tell her you were running guns
to Guatemalan rebels if you want.

21
00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:17,510
Ever since I said you could pretend to
be working for me to cover your jaunts

22
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:21,130
war -torn London, you've abused the
privilege and been home late every

23
00:01:21,410 --> 00:01:22,430
You don't know that's true.

24
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,130
It's what Yvonne told Stella.

25
00:01:25,690 --> 00:01:27,210
All right, so you do know that's true.

26
00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:32,530
OK, so I've been taking liberties, but
it's not much fun for me in 1994 at the

27
00:01:32,530 --> 00:01:35,050
moment. Yeah, well, I'm afraid it can't
go on any more.

28
00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:38,470
I'm going to have to sack you.

29
00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:40,330
Sack you?

30
00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:43,330
Reality check, Ron. It's not a real job,
remember?

31
00:01:44,130 --> 00:01:45,810
It is as far as the girls are concerned.

32
00:01:46,610 --> 00:01:50,130
Stella thinks I'm a slave -driving ogre
who's putting your marriage on the line

33
00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:51,370
by making you work too hard.

34
00:01:51,630 --> 00:01:52,730
But I'm already unemployed.

35
00:01:53,870 --> 00:01:56,950
Do you realise what it'll do to my self
-confidence if I can't even hold down a

36
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,950
pretend job?

37
00:01:58,810 --> 00:02:01,210
I insist on a peaceful home life.

38
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,640
If I'd wanted turmoil, I'd have married
for luck.

39
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,540
That isn't even making me do my own
ironing.

40
00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:09,039
I'd never have guessed.

41
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:13,620
I'll sort it out. I'll make sure
everybody knows that the hours I've

42
00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:15,260
been working are down to me, all right?

43
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:16,820
Yeah, we'll do it soon, OK?

44
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:18,300
Scouts on.

45
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:19,620
My God.

46
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,420
You don't give your employees a chance
to rest, do you, Ron?

47
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,560
I'm only sorry we haven't got any
children you could send up a chimney.

48
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:32,060
I hope you don't make a habit of
hassling Gary before eight in the

49
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:33,920
normally like to eat my muesli as God
intended.

50
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,400
Without sugar?

51
00:02:35,660 --> 00:02:36,660
Without clothes.

52
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:40,600
If I have to start dressing, I'll have
to start paying the window cleaner.

53
00:02:41,020 --> 00:02:42,020
Good morning, Gary.

54
00:02:42,340 --> 00:02:43,340
Good morning.

55
00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:47,540
Look, it's not Ron's fault I'm working
late. My hours are down to me.

56
00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:51,020
And I'm a salesman without a car, so I'm
at the mercy of British Rail.

57
00:02:51,260 --> 00:02:52,260
Really?

58
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:56,120
And selling's a very time -consuming
business, especially if you're new to

59
00:02:56,570 --> 00:02:59,370
I can't go anywhere until Ron and I have
had exhaustive discussions.

60
00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:01,150
So where are you off to today?

61
00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:04,910
Um, we haven't exhaustively discussed
that yet.

62
00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:07,610
Reading? Reading sounds good.

63
00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:09,670
I'll make sure I'm home early.

64
00:03:09,930 --> 00:03:12,750
What? You mean you can actually spend
some of your precious time with little

65
00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:14,050
Yeah. Well, tough.

66
00:03:14,370 --> 00:03:18,090
There's a wine and nibbles party after
work. So tonight, I'm going out.

67
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,780
It's all right, I think we've lost him.
Oh, Gary, you are a terror.

68
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,980
Fancy knocking off an ARP warden's
helmet.

69
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,100
Well, he was asking for it, pompous
little twit.

70
00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:42,700
Excuse me, would you mind not
obstructing the alleyway? There could be

71
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,100
services trying to get through.

72
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,260
You give these guys a tin hat and they
look like Churchill.

73
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:56,200
I'm going to have to start knocking off
ARP helmets on a regular

74
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,200
basis.

75
00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,460
That's... For a lovely afternoon.

76
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,480
It was only what you was after down that
alley.

77
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,320
No tea, your honour.

78
00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:08,540
Well, I'd better get you back to the
pub.

79
00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:12,780
I, er... I don't want to go in there
just yet.

80
00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:17,320
Well, going in there, back to Reg and
all the others, means the afternoon's

81
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,560
over. I want to hang on to it for a
little bit longer.

82
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:25,840
It's been the first time, oh, God knows,
that I... Well, I actually forgot about

83
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:26,880
the war for a little while.

84
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:28,720
Do you know what I mean?

85
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:31,520
What? What, what?

86
00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:34,680
Smashing film, wasn't it?

87
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,240
I've wanted to see Gone With The Wind
for ages.

88
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:43,280
Actually, you know, you look a lot like
Vivien Leigh. Oh, stop it.

89
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:45,880
Well, go on, then.

90
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,080
What?

91
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,880
You're supposed to say I look a lot like
Clark Gable.

92
00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:52,480
They've attached the Stan Laurels about
you.

93
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,940
You can go off people, you know.

94
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:56,720
What are you doing tonight?

95
00:04:58,510 --> 00:04:59,510
Not a lot.

96
00:04:59,630 --> 00:05:00,910
I want to cook you a meal.

97
00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:04,350
Oh, don't look like that. I can cook,
you know.

98
00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:07,870
Come up to the flat at about eight o
'clock.

99
00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:10,570
But aren't you worried about what the
neighbours might think?

100
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:14,030
You know, a married woman entertaining
another man.

101
00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:15,870
No, I'm part caring what anyone thinks.

102
00:05:16,990 --> 00:05:19,990
Most of them round here think we're all
ready at it, like rabbits anyway.

103
00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:21,410
Do they?

104
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:24,390
Dirty mind and lot.

105
00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:27,760
Well, I suppose I'd better go in.

106
00:05:28,540 --> 00:05:30,240
I'll see you at eight.

107
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:31,520
On the dot.

108
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:38,640
All

109
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:46,500
right.

110
00:05:47,060 --> 00:05:48,060
Quick bath.

111
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,380
No, I'd better just check.

112
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:58,020
It's a job that just suits me.

113
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,420
A window cleaner you would be.

114
00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:09,500
If you could see what... God, that
George Formby, when he gets in here... I

115
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:12,420
don't believe it.

116
00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:15,360
Air raid, I've lost nine tonight.

117
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,700
That means we're going to have to share
our pudding course with 20 rejects from

118
00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:26,700
Help the Aged.

119
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,740
That means I'm going to be late home
again.

120
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:32,400
Why should I feel guilty?

121
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:34,300
She's gone out.

122
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,120
Flaming wine and nibble.

123
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:40,720
Whining about me and nibbling on some
bloke's hair, that's fair.

124
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:44,500
Right, we'll see if you play it like
that.

125
00:06:45,660 --> 00:06:46,539
Hello, Gary.

126
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,740
I heard you singing. Has something
happened?

127
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:52,060
No, it's just a tune that was going
around my head. What are you doing here?

128
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:53,570
mean... What happened to the wine and
nibbles?

129
00:06:53,910 --> 00:06:55,110
I didn't fancy it.

130
00:06:58,970 --> 00:06:59,970
Something wrong?

131
00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:01,090
You seem a bit down.

132
00:07:01,330 --> 00:07:02,330
No, it's nothing much.

133
00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:05,250
It's just one of those days when you
look at your life and you realise it's a

134
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:06,250
complete and utter mess.

135
00:07:06,810 --> 00:07:08,290
Shall I get you some evening primrose?

136
00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:11,550
I'm not having a period, Gary.

137
00:07:11,870 --> 00:07:14,450
PMT is not the major cause of depression
in women.

138
00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:17,350
And it's not likely to be as long as
there are men in this world.

139
00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:19,430
Well, I'm sorry.

140
00:07:20,210 --> 00:07:21,210
What for?

141
00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:24,060
I'm not 100 % sure. It just seemed the
safest thing to say.

142
00:07:27,140 --> 00:07:30,360
It's about me working all these hours,
isn't it? Yes, it's about you working

143
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,159
these hours.

144
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,120
I had realised it was getting on your
nerves.

145
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:34,339
No, you hadn't.

146
00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:35,360
Ron told you it was.

147
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,080
And I know because I told Stella,
knowing she'd tell him and knowing he'd

148
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,940
you. Why not just tell me?

149
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,200
Because I'm your wife.

150
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:45,200
I like to give you the chance to give
the impression that you're capable of

151
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,200
original thought.

152
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,660
I'm perfectly capable of original
thought. What about... About that

153
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:52,820
electronic personal organiser I
surprised you with on your birthday.

154
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,039
Poor fool.

155
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,160
You really believe you were sent that
brochure on a random mail shot?

156
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:03,340
So once I'd behaved like a well
-manipulated little puppet and told you

157
00:08:03,340 --> 00:08:05,860
home early, why did you throw it in my
face? To get back at you.

158
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:09,080
You really don't understand women at
all, do you?

159
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:10,720
Apparently not.

160
00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:12,340
Look at me.

161
00:08:14,140 --> 00:08:15,200
Now I want you to be honest.

162
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,680
Is all this time you're spending at work
just an excuse to get away from me?

163
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:23,220
Now, I know I gave you a hard time about
wanting a baby and you're losing your

164
00:08:23,220 --> 00:08:24,360
job. Oh, don't be silly.

165
00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,740
Then why are you late home every night?

166
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:30,140
And I don't believe all that rubbish
about selling being a time -consuming

167
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,120
You have never let work rule your life.

168
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:35,779
It's wrong.

169
00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:38,340
You're right, he's a bloody slave
driver. Well, don't let him do it to

170
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,059
Put your foot down. From now on, I
promise.

171
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,940
I don't want to lose what I love, Gary.

172
00:08:45,890 --> 00:08:46,950
No, nor do I.

173
00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:49,790
Look, let's go out for a meal together.

174
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:50,869
Yes, tonight.

175
00:08:50,870 --> 00:08:51,870
No, not tonight.

176
00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:52,569
I can't.

177
00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:54,510
Sorry. Well, I promised Ron.

178
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:57,570
You said you were going out. And you
said you were going to put your foot

179
00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:00,310
Yes.

180
00:09:00,810 --> 00:09:01,810
Right.

181
00:09:02,550 --> 00:09:03,670
I will.

182
00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:05,870
Two birds.

183
00:09:06,190 --> 00:09:08,550
And they both want you in different
places at the same time.

184
00:09:09,210 --> 00:09:10,710
It's the classic adulterous dilemma.

185
00:09:11,090 --> 00:09:12,150
I'm not an adulterer.

186
00:09:12,350 --> 00:09:14,970
I never have been. I never will be
unfaithful to Yvonne.

187
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,840
Well, not in the same space time
continues.

188
00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:24,220
The only course of action I can see open
to you is to bite the proverbial bullet

189
00:09:24,220 --> 00:09:26,060
and choose between one or the other.

190
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:30,400
You have an incredible knack for stating
the obvious and taking 20 minutes to do

191
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,040
it. I know I've got to choose, but which
one?

192
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,300
Whichever one I reject, I lose.

193
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:41,180
Yvonne already thinks I'm giving her the
cold shoulder, and this invitation from

194
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,140
Phoebe is a pivotal moment in our
relationship.

195
00:09:43,820 --> 00:09:45,540
If I cry off, she'll take it as
rejection.

196
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:46,799
Surely not.

197
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,980
Women back then were, ah, a lot more
sensitive.

198
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,400
Even so.

199
00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:54,780
Ron, have you ever been romantically
involved with a girl born during the

200
00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:55,780
World War?

201
00:09:56,580 --> 00:10:00,640
Partial to the older woman, Gary. Even
my upper age limit falls some way short

202
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:01,780
of 79 -year -olds.

203
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,240
Leave it to one of these, eh?

204
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,240
Gough, ain't really enough to paint you
into a corner, doesn't it?

205
00:10:09,930 --> 00:10:14,230
The night Phoebe invites me to dinner is
the same night my wife decides to save

206
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:15,230
our marriage.

207
00:10:15,530 --> 00:10:18,230
God, listen to me, I'm turning into such
a chauvinist.

208
00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:21,790
I think your average Cosmo reader would
be reaching for the castration scissors.

209
00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:24,850
But your fellow man knows where you're
coming from, pal.

210
00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:27,610
If I was a full -blooded chauvinist,
it'd be a lot easier.

211
00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:31,650
Oliver Reed would seduce Phoebe over the
hors d 'oeuvres.

212
00:10:32,110 --> 00:10:35,470
Then cold -bloodedly see to Yvonne
between the coffee and the after -eats.

213
00:10:36,110 --> 00:10:38,650
Keeping a date with both of them. Now
that'd be cool.

214
00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:42,260
And I could do it.

215
00:10:44,140 --> 00:10:47,060
There's an Indian restaurant at the
present day end of Duckett's Pathage,

216
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,200
So that is where I take it all.

217
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:54,320
Then I pretend I've got a dodgy tummy,
right? Keep going to the toilet, nip out

218
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:58,840
of the window, go to Phoebe's, then make
a similar excuse to Phoebe and spend

219
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,020
the night flitting between the two.

220
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,240
How about frogs?

221
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,760
That double -breasted suit Yvonne made
me get for her cousin's wedding, that

222
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,560
should just about cut it in both eras.

223
00:11:10,340 --> 00:11:12,100
I'd only have to keep it going till I
pass nine.

224
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:15,100
There's an air raid then. I can tell
Phoebe I'm needed back at work.

225
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,200
It's bold.

226
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:18,700
It's audacious.

227
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,180
It verges on the lunatic.

228
00:11:22,220 --> 00:11:26,320
But if you can pull it off, it will
belong in the pantheon of man's

229
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:31,060
achievements, along with landing on the
moon and making sure women are the ones

230
00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:32,060
who get pregnant.

231
00:11:35,859 --> 00:11:39,700
However, if the bog in the Indian
doesn't have a window, you'll be

232
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,560
The toilet's through there, isn't it?

233
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,880
Yeah, that's right, Gary, where it says
toilet.

234
00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:56,500
Oh, I just feel a bit... Well, then
isn't Indian the best place to be? You

235
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,359
go home if you want.

236
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:58,480
No, no, no, it's fine.

237
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,320
Ooh, what are you having for starters?

238
00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:03,220
Oh, whatever you're having.

239
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:05,340
Good evening.

240
00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:07,360
Evening. Can I get you something to
drink?

241
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:08,620
Yeah, I'll have a lager, please.

242
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:10,420
Gary? Ah, yeah, fine.

243
00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:14,640
Please don't be put off by our lack of
custom.

244
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,380
We've only been open for 18 months.

245
00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:21,360
Well, I suppose it takes time for word
to get round.

246
00:12:22,020 --> 00:12:25,480
Absolutely. I've got an ad in the local
paper, but I think I need something more

247
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,920
direct. You know, leaflets through the
letterbox, that sort of thing. Well, if

248
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,540
it's leaflets you're after, my husband
can help.

249
00:12:30,820 --> 00:12:32,920
He's the sales... executive.

250
00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:34,610
For a printing firm.

251
00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:36,410
He'd be delighted to help, wouldn't he,
Gary?

252
00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:40,690
Well, yeah, I was just going to go to
the toilet.

253
00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:42,830
It can't wait, can't it? You don't want
to lose a sale.

254
00:12:43,550 --> 00:12:44,710
What sort of things did you want?

255
00:12:45,090 --> 00:12:51,350
Say, 3 ,000 double pages A5 brochures
with full colour and laminated paper

256
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:52,350
and back.

257
00:12:53,670 --> 00:12:54,670
Well, go on then, Gary.

258
00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:55,830
How much?

259
00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:02,910
Well, I need to work it out and I really
must go to the toilet. Excuse me.

260
00:13:03,959 --> 00:13:05,720
Don't worry if I'm a little wild.

261
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,240
I thought disguise would be appropriate.

262
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:11,300
If Yvonne caught a glimpse of me, the
whole operation would be blown.

263
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:12,500
Yeah, did you get the wine?

264
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,760
Vintage Chateau Lego vest.

265
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:18,120
Take your time.

266
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,560
Invited into Phoebe's private quarters,
I thought you might be planning to

267
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,760
finally consummate your relationship
with her tonight.

268
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,390
Ron, in the course of the next... 80
minutes, I've got to have two three

269
00:14:30,390 --> 00:14:34,530
meals with two different women whilst
commuting between an Indian restaurant

270
00:14:34,530 --> 00:14:37,390
an East End pub that are 200 yards and
53 years apart.

271
00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:41,450
Now, trying to fit a meaningful sexual
encounter into that kind of schedule

272
00:14:41,450 --> 00:14:43,490
might just be considered pushing my
luck.

273
00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:44,730
Nothing.

274
00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:48,190
The boy's tense.

275
00:14:48,490 --> 00:14:49,490
It's not a good sign.

276
00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:01,810
On the dot, you said. You were late.

277
00:15:02,350 --> 00:15:03,350
Sorry.

278
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,470
You look hot. Have you been running?

279
00:15:07,270 --> 00:15:11,070
Yeah, well, I knew I was late, you know,
so... I've got some wine.

280
00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:12,710
Oh, very posh.

281
00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:14,450
You look nice.

282
00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:15,730
Oh, thanks.

283
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,390
I'm wearing those stockings you got me.

284
00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:18,930
They look all right.

285
00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:20,130
Yeah, terrific.

286
00:15:22,070 --> 00:15:23,070
Come and sit down.

287
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:28,850
So, what are you cooking for us, then?

288
00:15:29,570 --> 00:15:32,990
Well, um, to start, there's MI5 soup.

289
00:15:33,830 --> 00:15:34,830
MI5 soup?

290
00:15:34,990 --> 00:15:37,170
Yeah. Best you don't know what's in it.

291
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:40,650
Then we're having lamb chops.

292
00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:42,090
Lamb chops?

293
00:15:42,230 --> 00:15:43,089
Where do you get those?

294
00:15:43,090 --> 00:15:46,470
Don't you know there's a war on? Well,
the butchers have a few things under the

295
00:15:46,470 --> 00:15:49,850
counter, and I just happened to have a
spare barrel of beer at a knock -down

296
00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:51,010
price for his daughter's wedding.

297
00:15:51,790 --> 00:15:53,690
You're not the only one we'll contact,
you know.

298
00:15:54,860 --> 00:15:56,200
I want tonight to be special.

299
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:57,459
Yeah.

300
00:15:57,460 --> 00:16:00,100
I'm going to have to keep nipping out to
the phone box at the end of the street.

301
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:04,740
Why? Well, there's a bit of a flap on at
work. They want me to keep in touch.

302
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:06,420
Well, you can phone from here.

303
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:08,520
Well, public lines are more secure.

304
00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:10,240
Careless talk, all that.

305
00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:13,520
I won't let it spoil the evening, I
promise.

306
00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:16,340
Look, let's open the wine, eh?

307
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,120
I've got a corkscrew in the kitchen.

308
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,440
Gary, this wine?

309
00:16:24,270 --> 00:16:27,450
Yeah, well, I know, strictly speaking,
we should have red with dark meat, but I

310
00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:28,630
don't think it really matters, do you?

311
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,050
What the hell with the colour? It's
German.

312
00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:39,210
I'm going to kill you, Ron.

313
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:40,790
Who's Ron?

314
00:16:41,770 --> 00:16:43,490
Ron's my wine merchant.

315
00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:47,430
He's obviously got lumbered with the
stuff and tried to fob it off on me.

316
00:16:48,110 --> 00:16:51,830
You ought to report him. He could be a
fifth colonist. No, no, he's not. He's

317
00:16:51,830 --> 00:16:53,620
just... Very, very stupid.

318
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,800
Well, I'm not drinking anything that's
been trod by a Nazi jackboot. I'm

319
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,020
throwing it down the sink.

320
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:00,320
Yeah, of course.

321
00:17:03,460 --> 00:17:04,920
Your lucky dad's not here.

322
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:06,859
Remember what he was like?

323
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,920
He'd have his shot for catching a German
measles.

324
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:11,200
Yeah.

325
00:17:11,460 --> 00:17:13,319
Good old rational Eric.

326
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,780
I do miss him.

327
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:17,960
The table looks nice.

328
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:20,359
You're going to have to get your best
china out for me.

329
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:21,680
It's not my best china.

330
00:17:22,270 --> 00:17:23,270
It's my only china.

331
00:17:23,650 --> 00:17:27,490
A bomb went off three streets away. The
cat went berserk and knocked all the

332
00:17:27,490 --> 00:17:31,030
crockery off the dresser. You can't get
a patient for love nor money.

333
00:17:35,450 --> 00:17:36,450
God, the time.

334
00:17:38,430 --> 00:17:39,510
Hope you like it.

335
00:17:40,530 --> 00:17:43,410
It's, uh, mock oyster, actually.

336
00:17:43,790 --> 00:17:44,790
Mock oyster?

337
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:46,690
Yeah.

338
00:17:47,030 --> 00:17:49,050
It's made from cod's heads and whale
meat.

339
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:52,700
Lovely.

340
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,340
Careful, it's very hot.

341
00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:00,540
Let's buy it.

342
00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:02,720
Delicious.

343
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:08,420
Look, I'm going to have to check in at
work, OK? I won't be a tick.

344
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:20,340
So far, so good?

345
00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:22,350
Where did that wine come from?

346
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:24,890
Freshers. Try Germany.

347
00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:30,370
I'll just give you one simple little
thing.

348
00:18:31,150 --> 00:18:32,150
Can you hear that?

349
00:18:33,650 --> 00:18:34,950
Sounds like Cliff Richard.

350
00:18:43,950 --> 00:18:46,750
Shut up, Cliff.

351
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:32,070
the hand basin in the gents, you know,
to wash my hands, and I put my foot up

352
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:34,190
it to tie my shoelace, and it slipped in
and got wet.

353
00:19:37,270 --> 00:19:38,290
Well, you never done that.

354
00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:43,010
Is everything all right?

355
00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:47,130
Are you enjoying your meal? Yes, it's
gorgeous. Yeah, lovely, really, really

356
00:19:47,130 --> 00:19:50,250
lovely. Oh, have you done that quote for
Sanjay yet? Oh, no, please, don't let

357
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:51,690
me interrupt you. No, it's okay.

358
00:19:54,130 --> 00:19:55,990
Um, well...

359
00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:03,550
You wanted 3 ,000. 3 ,000.

360
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:11,530
On the... And then just carry that
through.

361
00:20:13,050 --> 00:20:14,050
Is that all right?

362
00:20:15,150 --> 00:20:16,150
You're joking.

363
00:20:16,170 --> 00:20:17,870
Oh, no, all right. Knock 50 off that,
then.

364
00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:21,110
I was going to say that's really cheap,
but if you can knock off another 50,

365
00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:22,170
that's even better.

366
00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:26,170
Thank you.

367
00:20:27,130 --> 00:20:29,270
So, Neil, more chicken tikka here,
please.

368
00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:33,910
You don't look a gift course in the
mouse.

369
00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:41,650
What's up, Gary?

370
00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:43,370
Don't you like my cooking?

371
00:20:43,850 --> 00:20:46,370
No, it's delicious. I'm just not a very
big eater.

372
00:20:47,290 --> 00:20:48,710
Well, don't you waste it.

373
00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:51,150
Remember what Potato Pete says.

374
00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:54,750
Wasting food is as good as giving it to
Adolphe.

375
00:20:56,430 --> 00:20:57,430
Of course.

376
00:21:12,110 --> 00:21:13,170
I'm worried about you.

377
00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:16,630
One minute you bolt your food, now you
can't face it, and in between you're

378
00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:17,630
rushing to the toilet.

379
00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:19,530
What are you, bulimic or pregnant?

380
00:21:21,070 --> 00:21:22,330
I'm fine, honest.

381
00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:24,030
Mmm.

382
00:21:24,770 --> 00:21:25,770
Yum, yum.

383
00:21:51,850 --> 00:21:52,850
Is the soup pudding all right?

384
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:57,750
Lovely.

385
00:21:59,650 --> 00:22:01,710
I wish every night could be like this,
Gary.

386
00:22:10,770 --> 00:22:14,250
Sorry about that.

387
00:22:15,070 --> 00:22:18,110
I was listening to live commentary from
the match at Highbury.

388
00:22:18,510 --> 00:22:20,570
I suppose it was inevitable that I'd
doze off.

389
00:22:23,150 --> 00:22:24,370
I'm a total embarrassment.

390
00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:28,370
And I hope to God I'm suffering from
chronic indigestion, otherwise I'm in

391
00:22:28,370 --> 00:22:29,530
middle of a major coronary.

392
00:22:29,850 --> 00:22:31,650
Which way are you headed, past or
present?

393
00:22:31,890 --> 00:22:35,910
Present. I've just shared the world's
largest suet pudding with Phoebe. Mmm,

394
00:22:36,070 --> 00:22:37,290
suet pudding, smashing.

395
00:22:37,790 --> 00:22:42,130
Not on top of soup, but double chicken
teacup, lamb chops, potatoes, peas,

396
00:22:42,370 --> 00:22:44,090
mutton vindaloo and bimbi bars.

397
00:22:44,950 --> 00:22:46,270
Hey, what nettle?

398
00:22:46,870 --> 00:22:48,310
I mean, there's nothing to you.

399
00:22:48,830 --> 00:22:50,190
You're built like a whippet.

400
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,160
I've seen more meat on a butcher's
pencil.

401
00:22:54,580 --> 00:22:59,080
Now, listen, I've got to go back to
Phoebe's once more. I think the going to

402
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,740
toilet for 15 minutes excuse is running
out of gas, if you'll pardon the pun.

403
00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:06,560
So I need to switch to plan B, all
right? No, you give me five minutes,

404
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:07,560
come into the restaurant.

405
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,360
You didn't tell me exactly what plan B
entails.

406
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,000
No, I didn't, did I?

407
00:23:12,660 --> 00:23:13,820
You say you like sweet pudding?

408
00:23:14,140 --> 00:23:15,140
Yeah.

409
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:31,159
Get the bill.

410
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,160
Oh, we can't go now.

411
00:23:32,540 --> 00:23:34,500
We haven't had our coffee and our hot
flannel yet.

412
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,880
You've spent half the night in the loo.
You're obviously ill, so let's go home.

413
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,280
No, I'm fine, honest.

414
00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:42,160
I won't be going again tonight. You
shouldn't have to go for another

415
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:45,440
I don't believe it!

416
00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:47,100
Oh.

417
00:23:48,140 --> 00:23:49,400
Have you enjoyed yourself?

418
00:23:51,220 --> 00:23:53,920
The few minutes we've spent together
have been nice, yes.

419
00:23:59,180 --> 00:24:00,300
How could you do this?

420
00:24:01,660 --> 00:24:05,720
I saw him earlier, and he said he had to
discuss business. But I said, no. I put

421
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:09,540
my foot down. I said, I am taking my
wife to dinner. So what does he do? This

422
00:24:09,540 --> 00:24:11,260
tyrant follows us here.

423
00:24:11,460 --> 00:24:13,220
You're a disgrace, Ron Wheatcroft.

424
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,600
Sorry. Is everything all right? Yes.
Yes, I'm sorry for the disturbance. I'll

425
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:18,439
take this outside.

426
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,740
You'd better stay here, love. It could
get ugly. Come on.

427
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:27,080
Brilliant. That was...

428
00:24:28,170 --> 00:24:29,630
Thanks, look, I've got to get round to
Phoebe's.

429
00:24:30,930 --> 00:24:32,790
Of course, I don't look like a complete
git.

430
00:24:38,150 --> 00:24:40,570
I told you I wanted tonight to be
special.

431
00:24:40,910 --> 00:24:43,910
It has been. You've spent your whole
time rushing out of here.

432
00:24:44,190 --> 00:24:47,410
I'm sorry, but like I said, there's a
flap on at work. You sure that's not

433
00:24:47,410 --> 00:24:48,410
been an excuse?

434
00:24:48,690 --> 00:24:49,690
For what?

435
00:24:49,710 --> 00:24:50,710
Avoiding me.

436
00:24:52,470 --> 00:24:57,010
I wanted... I wanted us to spend the
night together.

437
00:25:00,169 --> 00:25:02,730
Tonight. And you guessed that's what
this meal was all about.

438
00:25:04,410 --> 00:25:06,630
You don't understand women very well, do
you?

439
00:25:08,190 --> 00:25:10,030
Doesn't seem to be a particular strength
of mine.

440
00:25:11,690 --> 00:25:13,350
Perhaps you're just not interested in
me.

441
00:25:13,670 --> 00:25:14,970
Of course I am.

442
00:25:15,830 --> 00:25:21,250
It's all I've thought about for... Well,
not all I've thought about, but... I've

443
00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:22,250
thought about it a lot.

444
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:27,180
Look, Phoebe, if I have been slow on the
uptake, it's because I didn't want to

445
00:25:27,180 --> 00:25:28,540
start something I couldn't finish.

446
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,420
I don't think you'd have that problem at
me.

447
00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:32,780
I haven't.

448
00:25:34,100 --> 00:25:38,960
The reason I've had to keep checking in
tonight is because we're almost certain

449
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:39,960
there's going to be a raid.

450
00:25:40,700 --> 00:25:41,700
What's new?

451
00:25:42,820 --> 00:25:45,300
We think the Germans might be using a
different kind of bomb.

452
00:25:46,860 --> 00:25:47,860
I'm going to have to go.

453
00:25:48,460 --> 00:25:50,200
They want me for evaluation purposes.

454
00:25:51,470 --> 00:25:53,430
And what time can we expect this, right?

455
00:25:56,310 --> 00:25:57,310
Any second now.

456
00:26:01,830 --> 00:26:03,550
I'm sorry, you should have told me.

457
00:26:04,710 --> 00:26:05,910
Didn't want to spoil our evening.

458
00:26:06,170 --> 00:26:07,870
This bloody war spoils everything.

459
00:26:08,210 --> 00:26:10,230
Look, there'll be other evenings. I'll
make sure of that.

460
00:26:11,390 --> 00:26:13,330
I even went to the chemist for you.

461
00:26:15,730 --> 00:26:17,230
There's no need for you to do that.

462
00:26:18,550 --> 00:26:19,550
Why?

463
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:21,100
Do you always carry a spare toothbrush?

464
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:29,660
All sorted, then?

465
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:31,400
I suppose so.

466
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:33,720
Congratulations, old son.

467
00:26:34,220 --> 00:26:37,340
Men all over the world will be taking a
bit more of the duvet tonight.

468
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:42,380
Ron, I've spent the entire evening lying
to and deceiving the two most important

469
00:26:42,380 --> 00:26:43,420
women in my life.

470
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,460
How do you think that makes me feel, eh?

471
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,060
Married with a bit on the side?

472
00:26:52,460 --> 00:26:55,180
Listen. Tonight could have ended in
three shattered lives.

473
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,600
But you've managed to sort it so that
there's been no casualties.

474
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,200
Be brave.

475
00:27:06,180 --> 00:27:07,180
Hello?

476
00:27:12,660 --> 00:27:15,260
I think I've just become the evening's
first fatality.

477
00:27:16,380 --> 00:27:17,900
The voice you hear ranting.

478
00:27:18,650 --> 00:27:19,910
on the other end of this phone.

479
00:27:20,630 --> 00:27:21,630
Stella.

480
00:27:21,970 --> 00:27:25,610
Yvonne has just phoned her and told her
how I seemingly dragged you out of the

481
00:27:25,610 --> 00:27:26,610
restaurant.

482
00:27:27,490 --> 00:27:31,210
Consequently, I'm going to go through an
experience which can only be likened to

483
00:27:31,210 --> 00:27:33,790
Dante's journey through purgatory.

484
00:27:34,370 --> 00:27:37,330
Sitting next to Graham Taylor on a long
-haul flight.

485
00:27:38,710 --> 00:27:39,910
Would I not like that?

486
00:27:41,670 --> 00:27:42,670
Precisely.

487
00:27:43,150 --> 00:27:46,810
Now, the only thing that will sustain me
through my misery is the knowledge that

488
00:27:46,810 --> 00:27:47,810
I have helped others.

489
00:27:48,430 --> 00:27:54,490
So I want you to smile, go back into
that restaurant, and enjoy the rest of

490
00:27:54,490 --> 00:27:55,490
evening.

491
00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:58,090
You're a good mate, Ron.

492
00:27:58,850 --> 00:28:01,210
Right now, I think I'm the best mate in
the world.

493
00:28:02,770 --> 00:28:09,450
Oh, by the way, if somebody asked you to
print 3 ,000 double -page A5 brochures

494
00:28:09,450 --> 00:28:13,550
with full colour and laminated paper
front and back, could you do it for

495
00:28:14,870 --> 00:28:15,870
Yeah, of course.

496
00:28:16,150 --> 00:28:17,430
If I wanted to go bankrupt.

497
00:28:17,980 --> 00:28:18,980
Why?

498
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,420
I'll tell you later.

499
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:29,800
Good night, sweetheart Sleep well,
banished

500
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:36,400
sorrow Good night, sweetheart Till we

501
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:37,740
meet tomorrow

502
00:28:49,910 --> 00:28:50,910
We talk.