1
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:58,600
All right, Jim, your
quarterlies look very good.
2
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,561
How are things
going at the library?
3
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,355
Oh, I told you. I
couldn't close it, so...
4
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,525
So you've come to the
master for guidance?
5
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,819
Is this what you're
saying, Grasshopper?
6
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,862
Uh, actually, you
called me in here.
7
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:12,072
But, yeah.
8
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,449
All right, well, let me
show you how it's done.
9
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:16,653
Yes, I'd like to speak to
your office manager, please.
10
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:19,454
Yes, hello. This
is Michael Scott.
11
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:20,831
I am the Regional Manager
12
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,041
of Dunder Mifflin
paper products.
13
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,373
Just wanted to talk to you
14
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,044
manager a manager.
15
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,424
All right, done deal!
16
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,050
Thank you very much, sir!
17
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,011
You're gentleman and a scholar.
18
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,222
Oh, I'm sorry.
19
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:38,765
Okay. I'm sorry.
20
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,225
My mistake.
21
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,313
That was a woman
I was talking to.
22
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:47,149
So... She had a very low voice.
23
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,359
Probably a smoker.
24
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,361
So...
25
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:53,905
So that's the way it's done.
26
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,659
I've, uh, I've been at
Dunder Mifflin for 12 years.
27
00:01:57,743 --> 00:02:00,203
The last four as
regional manager.
28
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,581
Uh, if you wanna
come through here.
29
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,751
See, we have the entire floor.
30
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,003
So this is my kingdom,
far as the eye can see.
31
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,756
Ah, this is our
receptionist, Pam.
32
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,758
Pam! Pam, Pam!
33
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,009
Pam Beasley.
34
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:17,721
Uh, Pam has been
with us, um, for... forever.
35
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:18,847
Right, Pam?
36
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:19,931
Well, I don't know.
37
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,117
If you think she's cute now,
38
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,702
you should have seen
her a couple of years ago.
39
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:24,478
What?
40
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,896
Uh, any messages?
41
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,232
Um... yeah. Just a fax.
42
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,442
Oh.
43
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,569
Pam, this is from corporate.
44
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,005
How many times have
I told you... I know...
45
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,131
that there's a
special filing cabinet
46
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,240
for things from corporate?
You haven't told me...
47
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,644
It's called the
wastepaper basket!
48
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,830
Look at that!
49
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,248
Oh, look at that face.
50
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,918
People say I am the best boss.
51
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,419
They go, "God,
we've never worked"
52
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,703
"in a place like this before."
53
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,547
"You're hilarious."
54
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,508
"And you get the
best out of us."
55
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,385
Um...
56
00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,888
I think that pretty
much sums it up.
57
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,225
I found it at Spencer Gifts.
58
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:12,192
Shall I play for you
Pa rum pa pum pum
59
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:20,784
I have no gifts for you
Pa rum pa pum pum
60
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:26,748
My job is to speak to
clients, um, on the phone,
61
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:30,043
about, uh, quantities
62
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:34,965
and, uh, type of copier paper.
63
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:38,552
You know, whether
we can supply it to them,
64
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:42,389
whether they
can, uh, pay for it.
65
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,141
And, um...
66
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,939
I'm... I'm boring myself
just talking about this.
67
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,070
Wassuup?
68
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,697
Wassuup?
69
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,532
I still love that
after seven years.
70
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,033
Whasuup?
71
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,952
Whasuup?
72
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,538
Whasuup?
73
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,458
Whassup?
74
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:10,751
Oh, wow.
75
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,638
What?
76
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,098
Nothin'.
77
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,808
Okay, all right.
78
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:27,976
See you later.
79
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,311
All right.
80
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,271
Take care.
81
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,564
Back to work!
82
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,196
Just try to reach
him sometime today.
83
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,741
Um, I don't know, just before
lunch. That would be great.
84
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,677
Corporate really doesn't
interfere with me at all.
85
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,537
Uh, Jan Levinson-Gould...
Jan! Hello!
86
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,706
I call her Hillary
Rodham Clinton.
87
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,709
Right? Not to her
face, because, uh...
88
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,419
Well, not because
I'm scared of her.
89
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,005
Because I'm not.
90
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,299
But, um, yeah.
91
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,153
All right, was there anything
you wanted to add to the agenda?
92
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:05,931
Mmm... Me no get an agenda.
93
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,141
I'm sor... What? I'm sorry?
94
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,434
I didn't get any agenda.
95
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,448
Well, I faxed one over
to you this morning.
96
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,730
Really? 'Cause it
didn't, uh, I didn't...
97
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,857
Did we get a fax this morning?
98
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,400
Uh, yeah, the one...
99
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:21,112
Then why... Why
isn't it in my hand?
100
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:23,532
Because a company runs on
efficiency of communication.
101
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,200
Right? Just...
102
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:27,077
Um, so what's the problem, Pam?
103
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,496
Why didn't, uh...
Why didn't I get it?
104
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,998
You put it in the garbage can
105
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,084
that was a special
filing cabinet.
106
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,464
Yeah! Uh, that was a joke.
107
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,132
That was a joke that, uh,
108
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,592
was actually my brother's.
109
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,718
And it was...
110
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,220
It was supposed
to be with bills,
111
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,489
and it doesn't work
great with faxes.
112
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,931
Do you wanna look at mine? Yeah.
113
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,683
Yeah, I would. Thank you.
114
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,768
Okay, since the last meeting,
115
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,144
Alan and the board have decided
116
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:55,939
that we can't justify a Scranton
branch and a Stanford branch.
117
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,148
Oh, okay.
118
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,292
No, Michael, don't panic...
119
00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,651
No, no, no, no. This is good.
120
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,212
This is good. This
is fine, excellent.
121
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:02,380
Michael, listen,
okay, don't panic.
122
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,423
Although alarm bells are
kinda going ringy, dingy, dingy!
123
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:05,824
We haven't made
any decisions yet.
124
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,134
I've spoken to Josh
in Stanford. Okay.
125
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,368
I've told him the same as you,
126
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,096
and it's up to either you
or him to convince me
127
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,430
that your branch can
incorporate the other.
128
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:12,497
Okay, no problem.
129
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,350
This does, however, mean that
there's going to be downsizing.
130
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,418
Me no wanna hear that, Jan.
131
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,004
Because downsizing is a bitch.
132
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,256
It is a real bitch.
133
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,301
And I wouldn't wish
that on Josh's men.
134
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,386
I certainly wouldn't
wish it on my men.
135
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,930
Or women, present
company excluded.
136
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,390
Sorry, uh...
137
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,893
Is Josh concerned about
downsizing, himself?
138
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:34,978
Not downsizing himself,
139
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,501
but is he concerned
about downsizing?
140
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,486
Question: How long
do we have to act...
141
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,116
Oh, Todd Packer. Terrific rep.
142
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,799
Do you mind if I take
it? Go right ahead.
143
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:51,828
Packman.
144
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,038
Hey, you big queen!
145
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:54,789
Oh, that's not appropriate.
146
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,334
Hey, is old Godzillary
coming in today?
147
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,020
Um, I don't know. I don't
know what you mean.
148
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:02,088
Look, I've been meaning
to ask her one question.
149
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,757
Does the carpet
match the drapes?
150
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,091
Oh, my God!
151
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,760
Ohh!
152
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,387
That's horrifying.
153
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,140
And horrible.
154
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,434
Horrible person.
155
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:18,647
So do you think we could
keep a lid on this for now?
156
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,440
I don't wanna worry
people unnecessarily.
157
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:21,691
No, absolutely.
158
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,068
Under this regime,
159
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,653
it will not leave this office.
160
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,029
Just like that.
161
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,573
So what does
downsizing actually mean?
162
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:29,658
Well...
163
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,326
You guys gotta
update your resumes,
164
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:32,535
just like I'm doing.
165
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,162
I bet it's gonna be me.
166
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,747
It's probably gonna be me.
167
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,874
Yeah, it'll be you.
168
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,310
I have an important
question for you.
169
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:40,418
Yes?
170
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:43,171
Um, are you going to
Angela's cat party on Sunday?
171
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,673
Yeah. Stop.
172
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,132
That is ridiculous.
173
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,069
Am I gonna tell them? No,
I'm not going to tell them.
174
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,293
I don't see the point of that.
175
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:53,014
As a doctor, you would not
tell a patient if they had cancer.
176
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,349
Hey!
177
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,184
- Hey!
- This is Mr. Scott.
178
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,186
Guilty! Guilty as charged.
179
00:07:58,269 --> 00:07:59,646
Ryan Howard from
the temp agency.
180
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:00,730
Uh-huh.
181
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,124
Daniqua sent me
down to start today.
182
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,317
Howard, like Moe
Howard, Three Stooges.
183
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,361
Watch this, this is Moe.
184
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,862
Nyuck! Nyuck!
Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck!
185
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:10,281
Meeeeh!
186
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,200
Ah, right here. Three Stooges.
187
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:13,785
High five! Oh, Pam.
188
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,161
It's a guy thing, Pam.
189
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,579
I'm sort of a student of comedy.
190
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,791
Watch this. Here you go.
191
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,591
I'm Hitler!
192
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,343
Adolf Hitler...
193
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,572
I don't think it would
be the worst thing
194
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,889
if they let me go.
195
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,684
Because then I might...
196
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,246
I just, I don't think it's
many little girls' dream
197
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,438
to be a receptionist.
198
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,607
Um, I like to do illustrations.
199
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,819
Um, mostly watercolor.
200
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,739
A few oil pencil. Um...
201
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,866
Jim thinks they're good.
202
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,659
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
203
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,537
Sure. Uh, Mr. Davis,
let me call you right back.
204
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,289
Yeah, something just
came up. Two minutes.
205
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,665
Thank you very much.
206
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:02,709
Dwight, what are you doing?
207
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,335
What? What are you doing?
208
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:06,254
Just clearing my desk.
I can't concentrate.
209
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:07,589
It's not on your desk.
210
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,632
It's overlapping. It's all
spilling over the edge.
211
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:13,428
One word, two
syllables. Demarcation.
212
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,480
You can't do that. Why not?
213
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,567
Safety violation. I
could fall and pierce
214
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,860
an organ.
215
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,071
We'll see.
216
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,327
See, this is why the
whole downsizing thing
217
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,770
just doesn't bother
me. Downsizing?
218
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,330
Downsizing?
219
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,873
Yeah, I have no
problem with that.
220
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:45,085
I have been recommending
downsizing since I first got here.
221
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,004
I even brought it
up in my interview.
222
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,799
I say bring it on.
223
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,135
You just still have these
messages from yesterday.
224
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,096
Relax, everything's
under control.
225
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,473
Uh, yeah, yeah.
There we go, yeah.
226
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,266
Oh, that's important. Right.
227
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:03,937
Oh, this is so important
I should run to answer it.
228
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,522
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!
229
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,899
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!
230
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,068
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!
231
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,237
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!
232
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,197
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!
233
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,991
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!
234
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:21,996
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!
235
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,374
What?
236
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,167
Come on!
237
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:27,669
Six Million Dollar Man!
238
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:28,920
Steve Austin!
239
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:31,381
Actually, that would
be a good salary for me,
240
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,466
don't you think? $6 million?
241
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,969
Memo to Jan. I deserve a raise.
242
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,428
Don't we all?
243
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,055
I'm sorry?
244
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,599
It's nothing.
245
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,602
If you're unhappy with
your compensation,
246
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,729
maybe you should
take it up with HR.
247
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,482
Okay? Not today, okay?
248
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,568
Pam, just be professional.
249
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,658
I think I'm a role model here.
250
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,493
I think I garner
people's respect.
251
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:03,371
Attention all Dunder
Mifflin employees, please.
252
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:06,291
We have a meeting in
the conference room ASAP.
253
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,960
People I respect, heroes
of mine, would be...
254
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,962
Bob Hope.
255
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:15,133
Um... Abraham Lincoln.
256
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:17,969
Definitely.
257
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:19,679
Bono.
258
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,475
Uh, and probably God
259
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,145
would be the fourth one.
260
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,690
And I just think
all those people
261
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:34,027
really helped the world
262
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:35,778
in so many ways
263
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:38,907
that it's, um...
264
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,451
It's really beyond words.
265
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,372
It's really incalcalacable.
266
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,267
Now, I know there are
some rumors out there,
267
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,977
and I just kinda wanna set the
record straight... Uh, uh, uh...
268
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,812
I'm Assistant Regional
Manager. I should know first.
269
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,379
Assistant to the
Regional Manager.
270
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,173
Okay, um, can you
just tell me, please?
271
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,050
Just tell me quietly.
Whisper it in my ear.
272
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,527
I'm just about to tell everyone.
273
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,261
Can't you just
tell us... Please!
274
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:01,679
Okay? Do you
want me to tell them?
275
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:04,015
You don't know what it is.
276
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,658
Okay, you tell them.
With my permission.
277
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,203
I don't need... Permission
granted. Go ahead.
278
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,188
Corporate has
deemed it appropriate
279
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:13,191
to enforce an ultimatum upon me.
280
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:16,069
And, uh, Jan is thinking
about downsizing
281
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,863
either the Stanford
branch or this branch.
282
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,491
I heard they might be
closing this branch down.
283
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,159
That's just...
284
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,262
That's just the
rumor going around.
285
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,555
This is my first day,
I don't really know.
286
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,539
Yeah, but, Michael, what
if they downsize here?
287
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:29,707
Not gonna happen.
288
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,310
It could be out of
your hands, Michael.
289
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:34,045
It won't be out of my
hands, Stanley, okay?
290
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,129
I promise you that.
291
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:36,256
Oh, can you promise that?
292
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,590
On his mother's grave.
293
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:40,426
Well... No!
294
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,262
Well, yeah, it is a promise.
295
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,055
And, frankly, I'm
a little bit insulted
296
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,266
that you have to
keep asking about it.
297
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,642
It's just that we need to know.
298
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:50,478
I... I know. Hold on a second.
299
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:51,956
I think Pam wanted
to say something.
300
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,190
Pam, you, uh,
301
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:58,361
had a look that you wanted
to ask a question just now.
302
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,739
I was in the meeting with Jan,
303
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:05,618
and she did say that it could
be this branch that gets the axe.
304
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,370
Are you sure about that?
305
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,123
Look, Pam... Uh,
maybe you should stick
306
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:13,501
to the ongoing confidentiality
agreement of meetings.
307
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,545
Pam, information is power.
308
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,754
So...
309
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,400
So you can't say for sure whether
it's gonna be us or them, can you?
310
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,259
No, no, no, no. Stanley, no.
311
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,386
You did not see
me in there with her.
312
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,597
I said, "If, uh, if corporate"
313
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,766
"wants to come in
here and interfere,
314
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,727
"then they're gonna
have to go through me."
315
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,688
"Right? You know, you can
go mess with Josh's people."
316
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,523
"But I'm the head
of this family,"
317
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:38,318
"and you ain't gonna be
messin' with my chillun'."
318
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,493
If I left, what would I do with
319
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,414
all this useless
information in my head?
320
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:55,293
You know? Tonnage
price of manila folders?
321
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,379
Um, Pam's favorite
flavor of yogurt,
322
00:13:58,463 --> 00:13:59,589
which is mixed berry.
323
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,386
Jim said "Mixed berries"?
324
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:10,433
Oh, well, yeah, he's on to me.
325
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,685
Um...
326
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,896
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Watch out for this guy.
327
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,606
Dwight Schrute in the building.
328
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:17,750
This is Ryan, the new temp.
329
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:18,858
What's up? Nice to meet you.
330
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,234
Introduce yourself. Be polite.
331
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:21,361
Uh, Dwight Schrute,
332
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:22,653
Assistant Regional Manager.
333
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,697
Assistant to the
Regional Manager.
334
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,575
So, uh, Dwight, tell
him about the Kung Fu
335
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,118
and the car and everything.
336
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:32,246
Uh, yeah, I got a '78280Z.
337
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:33,766
I bought it for
$1200, fixed it up.
338
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:34,850
It's now worth three grand.
339
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:35,917
That is his profit.
340
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,585
Yeah, uh, new
engine, suspension.
341
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,128
I got a respray. I
got some photos.
342
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,631
Oh! Damn it!
343
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,341
Damn it! I... Okay.
344
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,426
Hold on, hold on.
Judge is in session.
345
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:46,844
What is the problem here?
346
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:48,721
He put my stuff in Jell-O again!
347
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,171
That's real
professional. Thanks.
348
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,787
This is the third time,
and it wasn't funny
349
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:55,871
the first two times either, Jim!
350
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:56,896
It's okay here.
351
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,357
Uh, but people
sometimes take advantage
352
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,733
because it's so relaxed.
353
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:04,362
I'm a volunteer sheriff's
deputy on the weekends.
354
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,198
And you cannot
screw around there.
355
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,492
It's sort of one of the rules.
356
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,327
What is that? That's my stapler.
357
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,704
No, no, no! Do not take it out.
358
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,057
You have to eat it out of there,
359
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,921
because there are
starving people in the world,
360
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,000
and, which I hate,
361
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,877
and it it is a waste
of that kind of food.
362
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,313
Okay. You know what?
You can be a witness.
363
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,537
Can you reprimand him, please?
364
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:25,633
How do you know it was me?
365
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:26,717
It's always you.
366
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,070
Are you gonna
discipline him or not?
367
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,929
Ooh, discipline, kinky!
368
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,307
All right, here's
the deal, you guys.
369
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,471
Thing about a practical
joke is that you have to know
370
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:38,104
when to start as well as when to stop.
- Yeah.
371
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:41,441
And, yeah, Jim, now is the time
372
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:45,027
to stop putting Dwight's
personal effects into Jell-O.
373
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,156
Okay.
374
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,991
Dwight, I'm sorry, because
375
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,493
I have always been
your biggest flan.
376
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,788
Nice!
377
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,040
That's the way
it is around here.
378
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,726
It just kind of goes round
and round and round.
379
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,836
You, uh, you should
have put him in "custardy."
380
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,546
Oh, hey! Yes!
381
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,299
New guy! And he scores.
382
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:07,467
Okay, that's great.
383
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,427
I guess what I'm
most concerned with
384
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,804
is damage to company property.
385
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,514
That's all.
386
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,811
Pudding.
387
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,521
Putting.
388
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,106
I'm trying to think
389
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:23,858
what other dessert to do.
390
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:28,738
Do you like going out at the
end of the week for a drink?
391
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,906
Yeah.
392
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,782
Well, that's why
we're all going out.
393
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,302
So that we can have
an end-of-the-week drink.
394
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,368
So when are we going out?
395
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:35,828
I don't know.
Tonight, hopefully.
396
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,079
Okay, yeah.
397
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:40,917
Hey, man.
398
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,126
Hey! What's going on?
399
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,336
Hi, baby. Hey.
400
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,171
Uh, Roy is my fiancé.
401
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,089
We've been engaged about, um...
402
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,217
About three years.
403
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:52,345
And, uh, we were supposed
to get married in September,
404
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,931
but I think we're gonna
get married in the spring.
405
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:59,727
Do you mind if I go out
for a drink with these guys?
406
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,437
Uh, no, no, come on.
407
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,439
Let's get out of here, go home.
408
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,899
Okay, um, I'm gonna be
409
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,317
a few minutes, though.
410
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,194
It's only 20 past 5:00.
411
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,820
I still have to do my faxes.
412
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,827
You know what? You
should come with us.
413
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,430
Because, you know,
we're all going out,
414
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,248
and it could be a
good chance for you to
415
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:21,975
see what people are
like outside of the office.
416
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,584
You know, I think
it could be fun.
417
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:24,794
No, it sounds good.
418
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:25,962
Oh, no.
419
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,255
Seriously, we gotta get going.
420
00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:28,589
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
421
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:41,435
Um... What's in the,
uh... What's in the bag?
422
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,540
Just tell her I'll
talk to her later.
423
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,041
No, definitely. All
right, dude, awesome.
424
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,191
Will do.
425
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:54,323
Do I think I'll be
invited to the wedding?
426
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,376
So, uh, have you
felt a vibe yet?
427
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,253
We work hard, we play hard.
428
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,398
Sometimes we play hard
when we should be working hard.
429
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,506
Right?
430
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,759
Um, I guess the atmosphere
that I've created here
431
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,012
is that I'm a friend first
432
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,680
and a boss second.
433
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,683
Probably, uh...
Entertainer third.
434
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,602
Just a second! Right?
435
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,563
Oh, hey, do you, uh...
436
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,065
Do you like The Jamie
Kennedy Experiment?
437
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,026
Yeah. Yeah. Punk'd
and all that kind of stuff?
438
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,361
Okay, um, you are
gonna be my accomplice.
439
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,738
Just go along with it, okay?
440
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,156
All right. Just follow my lead.
441
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,158
Don't pimp me,
all right? Come in!
442
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:40,494
So, uh, corporate just said that
I don't want to... You got a fax.
443
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:41,662
Oh, thank you, Pam.
444
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,914
Pam, can you come
in here for a sec?
445
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,416
Just have a seat.
446
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:46,751
I was gonna call you in anyway.
447
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,045
Um, you know Ryan.
448
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:53,549
Um, as you know, there's
going to be downsizing.
449
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:57,887
And you have made
my life so much easier
450
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:02,224
in that I am going to
have to let you go first.
451
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,602
What? Why?
452
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,896
Why? Well, theft.
453
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,230
And stealing.
454
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,357
Stealing?
455
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,483
Mmm-hmm.
456
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,735
Um, what am I
supposed to have stolen?
457
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,904
Post-it notes.
458
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,031
Post-it notes? Yeah.
459
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:18,866
What are those
worth, like, 50 cents?
460
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,952
50 cents, yeah. You steal 1,000
Post-It notes at 50 cents apiece,
461
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:25,498
And, you know, you've
made a profit margin.
462
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,875
You know, gonna run
us out of business, Pam.
463
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,543
Are you serious?
464
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,089
Yeah, I, um...
465
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,257
Oh, my... I can't believe this.
466
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,427
I mean, I've never even
stolen as much as a paper clip,
467
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,471
and now you're firing me.
468
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,265
And the best thing
about it is that, uh,
469
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,935
we're not gonna have to
give you any severance pay.
470
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:51,065
Because that is gross
misconduct, and, uh...
471
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,817
So just clean out your desk.
472
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,402
I'm sorry.
473
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,963
You've been "Xed," punk!
474
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,673
Surprise! It's a joke!
475
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,049
We were joking around!
476
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,259
See?
477
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,969
Okay, he was in on it.
478
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,178
He was my accomplice.
479
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:24,640
And it was just kind of
a morale booster thing.
480
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,977
And we were showing the
new guy around, kind of...
481
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,062
Kind of giving him
the feel of the place.
482
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,481
So you sh...
483
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,567
God, you were...
We totally got you...
484
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:35,735
You're a jerk!
485
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,863
I don't know about that.
486
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,715
What is the most important
thing for a company?
487
00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:01,761
Is it the cash flow?
Is it the inventory?
488
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:03,220
Nuh-uh.
489
00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:06,015
It's the people.
490
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:08,142
The people.
491
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,186
My proudest moment here
492
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:13,105
was not when I
increased profits by 17%.
493
00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,733
Or when I cut expenses
494
00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,276
without losing a
single employee.
495
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,986
No, no, no, no, no.
496
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,905
It was a young Guatemalan guy.
497
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,950
First job in the country,
barely spoke English.
498
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,328
Came to me and said,
499
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,705
"Mr. Scott,"
500
00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:33,417
"would you be the
godfather of my child?"
501
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:37,755
Wow. Wow.
502
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,382
Wow.
503
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,262
Didn't work out in the end.
504
00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:46,806
We had to let him go. He sucked.
505
00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,104
Hey.
506
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,773
Hey. Hi.
507
00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:56,941
How are you? Good.
508
00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:58,943
I thought you were
going out for a drink with...
509
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,778
Oh, no, no.
510
00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:04,824
Just going to, uh...
How's your headache?
511
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,534
It's better. Thanks. Good.
512
00:22:06,617 --> 00:22:07,952
Good, that's great.
513
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,495
Is, uh... Yeah?
514
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:11,539
Um, are you, uh...
515
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:13,582
Am I walking out?
516
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:14,875
Yes.
517
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:16,377
Yes. Do you wanna?
518
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,379
Yeah. Great.
519
00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:21,715
Let me just... Oh, Roy. Yeah.
520
00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:23,133
Listen, have a nice weekend.
521
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:25,636
Yeah, definitely. You, too.
522
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,346
Enjoy it.
523
00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:41,068
Uh... You know, just come here.