1 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,426 Wow. Today ruled. 2 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,720 Best wedding I've ever been to! 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:12,846 Unh! 4 00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:12,846 Yeah! 5 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,139 Ahh. 6 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,600 I'm sorry we couldn't afford a real honeymoon. 7 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,102 Are you kidding? This is great! 8 00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:20,895 We can watch the traffic on the 405! 9 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:24,232 I know, but one day we'll have the ultimate honeymoon. 10 00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:25,442 I promise. 11 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,528 Just gotta save up that sweet kaish! 12 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,574 To our dream honeymoon! 13 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,075 Mmm! 14 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,416 Holy crap! It's full! 15 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,792 It's full?! 16 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:54,929 ♪ After years of hoarding money like an oil tycoon ♪ 17 00:00:55,013 --> 00:01:00,477 ♪ They can finally afford a dream honeymoon! ♪ 18 00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:04,397 ♪ They saved tons of money, oh, the funds, how they've grown ♪ 19 00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:07,609 ♪ They'll take a sexy trip, and they'll totally bone ♪ 20 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:10,612 - ♪ Totally bone! ♪ - ♪ Totally bone! ♪ 21 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,948 ♪ They're gonna take a fancy trip and totally bone ♪ 22 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:17,243 ♪ Fiji, Bermuda, Hawaii, Rome ♪ 23 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,956 ♪ Expensive honeymoon ♪ 24 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:28,171 ♪ Go big or go hoooooooooome! ♪ 25 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:31,549 Four hundred dollars?! 26 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,594 ♪ How does a father, husband, a roommate of four ♪ 27 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:37,597 ♪ Finance a honeymoon for only four hundred -- ♪ 28 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,475 Only one musical number per scene, please. 29 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,823 Man, this sucks. 30 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:57,158 What kind of honeymoon are we supposed to take with this? 31 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,327 You could go to Beverly Hills 32 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:00,578 and park there overnight. 33 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,247 You could pay some guy to fight you! 34 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,624 I know! Let's go to Disneyland! 35 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,251 Oh, um, sorry Candice. 36 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,962 Honeymoons are kind of a "no kids" situation. 37 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,547 After all I've done for you? 38 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:13,216 Don't worry, Candice. We'll have all weekend 39 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:16,719 to play with whatever toy kids are addicted to this week. 40 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,346 Super noisy cube! 41 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:19,597 Oof. I guess. 42 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:24,727 Uh, guys, allow me to blow your mind. 43 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:26,896 - Catalina island? - Ooh! 44 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,773 It's the Palm Springs of the sea! 45 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,525 I don't know. This is supposed to be 46 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,652 the most romantic trip of our lives. 47 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,571 Isn't Catalina a little blah? 48 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,239 Em, I think this can work. 49 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,074 This place has five out of five stars. 50 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,701 Not a single bad review! 51 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,744 Huh. "A magical getaway." 52 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,038 "A throwback to a bygone era." 53 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,457 Don't forget "Dirt cheap!!" 54 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,084 You know what? Let's do it! 55 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:51,087 Welp, looks like Dorpenberger saves the day again. 56 00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:52,672 Up top! 57 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,144 This place is great! 58 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,687 Look! 59 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,607 Hey! Shoo! Get outta here! 60 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:11,733 Sick! 61 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,484 We're gonna crush this honeymoon. 62 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,194 Hope you're ready to make memories 63 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,114 we'll cherish for the rest of our friggin' lives! 64 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,083 Welcome, travelers! 65 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,044 Checking in? 66 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,296 Yep. We're in the honeymoon suite. 67 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,758 Ohh! Newlyweds! I'm honored! 68 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,551 You've chosen one of our beds 69 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,596 on which to consummate your nuptials. 70 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:44,641 Oh, no, we've already consummated our...stuff. 71 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,975 We've been married for seven years 72 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,602 and are only now just taking our honeymoon 73 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,811 like a couple of maniacs. 74 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,480 Yeah, so we gotta make it count. 75 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,398 Well, you've certainly come to the right place. 76 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:55,318 Here on Catalina, we have over nine things to do! 77 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,612 We're excited! We saw all the great reviews online. 78 00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,906 Oh, by the way, what's with the buffalo? 79 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,616 They're actually bison. 80 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,034 They were brought to Catalina 81 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,286 for a silent-film shoot in the twenties, 82 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,623 but the director never returned them to the mainland 83 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:11,626 because, well, he went insane. 84 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,252 Noice. 85 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,252 That's terrible. 86 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,254 Oh, they're completely docile! 87 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:19,759 Anyhoo, I'm afraid the honeymoon suite is still being aired out. 88 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,260 Okaaay. 89 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:23,972 But, on Catalina, no guest is allowed to leave 90 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,974 without having a perfect trip! 91 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,433 So, for your inconvenience, 92 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,727 we're offering you a complimentary tour! 93 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:30,853 Oh! Wow! 94 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,064 Honeymooning in Catalina? 95 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:35,858 Why not try our Romantic Canoe Ride? 96 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:36,985 Self-guided. 97 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,611 Both: Best honeymoon ever! 98 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:39,696 Josh: Whoa! 99 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,615 Or Lover's Leap. 100 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,076 Both: Best honeymoon ever! 101 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,623 Frederica: Or our Unlimited Pasta Bar. 102 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,589 Unh! 103 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,343 Both: Best honeymoon ever. 104 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,637 Frederica: Sunsets? We got 'em! 105 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:14,731 Both: Best honeymoon ever? 106 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,274 Emily: Aah! 107 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:21,529 The horses destroyed my crotch. 108 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:24,949 I feel like Mike Tyson punched my junk off. 109 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,284 But we're having fun. 110 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,327 On the only honeymoon we'll ever have. 111 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,538 Of course! Dream honeymoon. 112 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,998 I mean...the view. 113 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,291 Love the view. 114 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,584 Great view. 115 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,377 And not too many bison. 116 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,129 Not infested at all. 117 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,464 And we have two whole days left! 118 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,632 Two more days?! Wow! That's just -- 119 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,385 I mean, yay. 120 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:45,928 Anyway... 121 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,181 I need to go get some ice for every part of my body, 122 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,059 but when I get back, it's lovin' time. 123 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,103 Ohh! Oh, no. Oh, why? 124 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,568 How'd they get it so noisy?! 125 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,947 Hey, chica. How's the 'moon? 126 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,657 Catalina's a nightmare! 127 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,951 Every time we find an ounce of romance, 128 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,745 a frickin' buffalo shows up! 129 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,497 Been there. 130 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:15,416 Josh is so desperate, but maybe we should just give up on it. 131 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,835 I know it's hard, but if you're miserable, 132 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,588 the best thing you can do is call the whole thing off. 133 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:22,256 - Hang on! Who's that? - Emily. 134 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,509 Catalina sucks, so she's thinking of ending it. 135 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,718 Ending it?! 136 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,220 Yeah, you're probably right. 137 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,930 I hope this doesn't break his heart. 138 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,264 Eh. It might. 139 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,351 But I think the best thing now is for you to divorce. 140 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,728 Not on my watch! 141 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,357 What was that about? Who knows. 142 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,733 Anyway, I was gonna say 143 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,193 "Divorce yourself from this trip." 144 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,569 Weird choice of words, I guess. 145 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:46,197 I like it! Non-traditional usage! 146 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,949 Aah! Pick up, pick up, pick up! 147 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:49,951 Josh: Hey. It's Josh. Leave a message. 148 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,536 Josh! 149 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,830 Don't move! I'll be there soon! 150 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,706 And whatever you do, 151 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,501 don't accept any papers Emily serves you! 152 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,086 Aah! 153 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,925 I'm coming, Josh! 154 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,176 Waaah! 155 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,263 Ohh! 156 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,057 20 minutes of this, and I'll totally be ready to bone. 157 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,310 Yeah. I'm very much "in the mood." 158 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,524 Actually, Josh I know how much this trip means to us 159 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,859 because we waited forever to take it 160 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,485 and we're getting older and we probably 161 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:26,487 won't take another romantic trip until Candice goes to college, 162 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,614 so I've been pretending to have a great time, 163 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,449 but in reality, I hate it 164 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,994 and I hate the bison and I wanna go home! 165 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,829 Holy crap. I didn't want to say anything 166 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,998 because I thought maybe if I just kept shouting 167 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:40,334 "best honeymoon ever," it would become the best honeymoon ever, 168 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,253 but it's actually the worst honeymoon ever 169 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,671 and it makes me sad! 170 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:45,923 Ohh! I'm so relieved! 171 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,342 The last ferry off this rock leaves in an hour. 172 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:52,305 The sexiest, most romantic thing we could do is get on it. 173 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,639 Let's do it! 174 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,105 Oh, no! Checking out early? 175 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,857 Yeah, gonna catch the last ferry. 176 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,193 Hm. Did you already make a baby? 177 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,569 No. We just want to get home. 178 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,529 I think Catalina kinda wasn't for us. 179 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,698 Kinda...wasn't for you? 180 00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:13,951 The view is nice, but the buffalo are a bit much. 181 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,912 They...are... 182 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,873 silent-film era... bison! 183 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,166 Places! 184 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,211 I'm afraid we can't allow you to leave. 185 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,882 For you have discovered the island's darkest secret. 186 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,383 What secret? 187 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,469 Catalina... 188 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:32,553 sucks. 189 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,138 Aha! I knew it! 190 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,807 We simply can't have you leave a -- ugh -- 191 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,643 a four-star review. 192 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,519 Lady, you're about to get three. 193 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,357 Prepare for attack scene! 194 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,944 Annnd...action! 195 00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:51,424 Oh, no! The ferry! 196 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:58,222 Oh, I would like to apologize for any inconvenience 197 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,766 you may have experienced during your stay. 198 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:05,021 As an apology, please accept these two tickets... 199 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,480 to hell! 200 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,316 Alex: Josh! Emily! 201 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,984 - Unh! - Alex?! 202 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,277 You saved our lives! 203 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,487 I think you mean... your marriage. 204 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,032 - Ugh! - Holy shit! Who's that? 205 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,451 Hospitality is my passion. 206 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,577 Yeah. Don't worry about it. 207 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,078 Let's get off this shithole! 208 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,961 Cut! That's a wrap! 209 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,134 Alex: Ha ha! Whoo-hoo! 210 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,594 Unh! 211 00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:47,521 We did it right the first time, didn't we? 212 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,607 Yeah. We did. 213 00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,192 Both: Mmm. 214 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,237 Well, Alex, you did it, buddy. 215 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,531 You saved the day again.