1 00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:03,669 [door opens in distance] 2 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:06,837 [car alarm beeping] 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,970 [distant horns honking] 4 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:19,899 [groans] 5 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,033 ‐ One down, four to go. 6 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,485 ♪ 7 00:00:27,486 --> 00:00:30,196 If you need answers, you need to go to the source. 8 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:31,914 And I need to know: 9 00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:36,201 why am I doomed to be left? Why am I doomed to be... rejected? 10 00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:38,002 So, I'm gonna ask them. 11 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:39,495 All of them. 12 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,581 Next ex on the big ex list is Kat Mon‐‐ 13 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:50,007 ♪ folksy guitar playing in cafe ♪ 14 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,088 Simon. What are you doing in there? 15 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:54,562 What? 16 00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:57,101 I'll come in. I'll come in. 17 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:01,063 Excuse me. Sorry. 18 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,187 What's up, dude? 19 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,281 ‐ Nothing's up. 20 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,936 I'm just... just getting a coffee beverage. 21 00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,316 ‐ I'm sorry, have... have you been body‐snatched? 22 00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:15,366 ‐ I just thought I would try it out. 23 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,448 ‐ But we hate this place. 24 00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:19,042 ‐ Yeah, I don't know. They have oat milk. 25 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,160 ‐ This is Mumford and Sons? 26 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,834 ‐ Yeah. It's probably. 27 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,170 ‐ Okay. So, um, check it out. 28 00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,919 I talked to Kevin Bannister's mom last night‐‐ 29 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,510 ‐ Hold on, hold on, hold on. Kevin‐who's‐mom? 30 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,665 ‐ Bannister. 31 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,884 My first boyfriend? ‐ Oh‐‐ Okay. 32 00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:34,304 ‐ Number One on my "Top Five All‐Time Heartbreak" list? 33 00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,183 Left me for Hannah Shepherd? I've told you this. 34 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,393 ‐ You Top Five‐d your All‐Time Heartbreaks? 35 00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:40,021 ‐ Yeah. 36 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,306 ‐ Should we maybe wait till after I have coffee 37 00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,061 to go wherever this is going? 38 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,652 ‐ Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. Do your thing. Do your thing. 39 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:46,897 I've already had three. 40 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,152 ‐ $9.40. 41 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,071 ‐ He married her. 42 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,823 Hannah Shephard is now Hannah Bannister. 43 00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:53,701 Isn't that incredible? 44 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,657 ‐ It's incredible. ‐ I mean, this whole time 45 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,947 I thought he rejected me. 46 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,290 But no. It was fate. 47 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,826 ‐ Well, there you have it. ‐ I feel fucking liberated, man. 48 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,289 Which is why I'm reaching out to everyone else on the list. 49 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,174 ‐ Everyone else? ‐ Yeah. 50 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,416 There are more lessons to be learned here, dude. 51 00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:12,131 ‐ I mean, like "that it was just fate and none of it was your fault"? 52 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:13,764 ‐ Can you take this seriously, please? 53 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,089 ‐ I, I'm doing my best. 54 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,973 ‐ Okay, so my plan was to go chronologically, 55 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,060 but since you're here, Simon, 56 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,556 I'm hoping you can help me understand: 57 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:25,518 why I'm doomed to be left? Why I'm doomed to be... rejected? 58 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:26,651 ‐ You're asking me? 59 00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,693 Hold on. Do you think I rejected you? 60 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,744 Rob, have you forgotten that I'm homosexual? 61 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,777 ‐ Yeah, but did you know that when we got together, though? 62 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,071 ‐ Wait a minute, I'm one of your Top Five Heartbreaks? 63 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,454 ‐ That's why you always closed your eyes when we had sex? 64 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,624 ‐ What can I get for you two? 65 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,962 ‐ I'll have the, uh, currant‐forward Ethiopian, please. 66 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:45,827 with a splash of oat milk. 67 00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:47,625 ‐ I'm good. 68 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,090 ‐ It's $8.50. 69 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,009 ‐ Okay. Okay. Besides the fact that I have a vagina, 70 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,258 are there other things about me, any traits you think 71 00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:59,641 that could have factored into us not staying together? 72 00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:00,848 ‐ Rob. ‐ Yeah. 73 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,308 ‐ I still make you mix tapes, all right. 74 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,557 I say I like your outfit even when I don't, at all. 75 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,649 I even let you pop pimples on my back, whenever you want. 76 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,607 ‐ I'm sorry, what's your point? ‐ My point is, Rob, 77 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:13,993 this is how we acted and I treated you when we were in a relationship, 78 00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,736 and this is what I continue to do now. 79 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:17,992 We're still together. 80 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,155 Okay? I never left. 81 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:21,741 You get it? 82 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:23,538 ‐ Yes. 83 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,289 Yes. I get it. Thank you. 84 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,790 It's great. ‐ Hey. 85 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,331 ‐ Yeah. ‐ Take me off your goddamn list. 86 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,090 Please. ‐ Done. 87 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:33,166 ‐ Got a currant‐forward Ethiopian. 88 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:34,922 ‐ Thanks. 89 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,045 ‐ Thank you. 90 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,589 ROB: That's fucking great! 91 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:41,263 All right. Two down, three to go. 92 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,513 ‐ So you're really gonna talk to all of them? 93 00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:45,024 ‐ Yeah. ‐ Every single one of them. Even‐‐ 94 00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:46,137 ‐ Yes. Every single one. 95 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,350 ‐ Okay, dude? I have to say it: 96 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,060 I think this is crazy. 97 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,863 ‐ Uh... no. $8.50 for a coffee is crazy. 98 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,648 This is fuckin' genius. 99 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,662 ♪ Aura's Yesterday's Love playing ♪ 100 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:02,365 ♪ 101 00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:08,581 ♪ 102 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,882 ♪ I've been trying so hard ♪ 103 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:13,126 ♪ To make ya see ♪ 104 00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:15,208 ♪ The love in me, baby ♪ 105 00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:17,424 [humming] 106 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,264 ROB: Open the window. 107 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:19,677 ‐ Ooh. 108 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,046 [doorbell tinkles] 109 00:04:21,053 --> 00:04:21,933 SIMON: What is she‐‐ 110 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:23,257 ‐ You're here early. 111 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,313 ‐ Yeah, well, you know, somebody got to pick up the slack around here, 112 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:26,057 you feel me? 113 00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,388 Oh, and, uh, we got that order in, 114 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,903 Bee Tee Dubs. I handled it. 115 00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:32,524 ‐ You handled the order. CHERISE: Yep. 116 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:34,612 ‐ Oh my god. 117 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,568 [muttering] 118 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,778 CHERISE: I am on my shit today. 119 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,069 [humming] 120 00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,072 ‐ Is she taking out the trash? 121 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,703 ROB: [laughing] She's taking out the trash. 122 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:43,909 ‐ Where, uh‐‐ 123 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,039 ‐ It's the one on the‐‐ ‐ You're taking out the trash? 124 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:45,865 ‐ One on the right. 125 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,369 ‐ Yeah. ROB: Just go out 126 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:48,621 of that door and go to the right‐‐ 127 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,002 CHERISE: Your right or my right? 128 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,878 ‐ Uh, both of our rights. 129 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,174 ‐ It's the side where it's‐‐ We're on the same right. 130 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,919 ‐ The big black square one? 131 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,011 ROB: Yes. SIMON: That one. 132 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,715 ‐ Oh! ‐ What's going on? 133 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,676 ‐ Uh, pssh... it must be full moon. 134 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,850 ♪ Betty Davis' They Say I'm different playing ♪ 135 00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:07,889 ‐ Okay, now, 136 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:09,600 Kat Monroe. 137 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:13,266 I'm not totally sure I'm ready for this, but‐‐ 138 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,895 [exhales forcefully, then clears throat] 139 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,403 [line ringing] 140 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,874 ♪ They say I’m different 'cause I’m a piece of sugar cane ♪ 141 00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:24,025 [line disconnects] 142 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,372 OPERATOR: The number you dialed is not in service. 143 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:27,448 [slams receiver] 144 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,502 ‐ Changed her number. 145 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:30,124 That's okay. 146 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:32,923 Important people do that. 147 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:38,133 I should resign myself to the idea that Kat might be hard to track down. 148 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,469 She's a myth, she's a legend, she's... 149 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,970 on goddamn Instagram! 150 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:50,269 ♪ Every mornin' I'd have to slop the hogs ♪ 151 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:54,097 ♪ And they'd be gettin' off humpin' to John Lee Hooker ♪ 152 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,404 ♪ 153 00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:00,993 154 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,276 ♪ They say I'm different ♪ 155 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,109 ‐ Hey. 156 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,528 ‐ 'Sup. 157 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:08,329 ‐ You guys have a bathroom? 158 00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,155 ‐ Nah. Customers only. 159 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,873 ‐ You can't make an exception? 160 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,544 ‐ Nah, I can't. 'Cause, you know, if I let, if I let you go, 161 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,503 I gotta let everybody else go to the bathroom. 162 00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:19,844 And I can't do that. So‐‐ 163 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,008 ‐ But I'm the only one here‐‐ 164 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:22,796 ‐ But, dude, can you just go to the coffee shop, please. 165 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,679 They got one there. 166 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,301 ‐ I can see the bathroom right there. 167 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,052 CHERISE: Motherfucker, just walk straight, 168 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,854 go up the steps, make a left, 169 00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:33,138 walk two blocks, turn left, and you found it. 170 00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:36,606 ‐ Okay. 171 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,519 ‐ [mockingly] Okay, bye‐bye. 172 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:40,111 Don't forget to vote. 173 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,398 [door slams] ROB: Hey, Cherise. 174 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:42,777 ‐ Yeah, Rob? 175 00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:45,358 ‐ What does it mean when someone has a blue check mark next to their name? 176 00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:46,994 ‐ What are you talking about, a blue check‐‐ 177 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,534 ‐ That. What is that? 178 00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:52,698 ‐ Oh, damn, you stalking Kat Monroe? 179 00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,714 What's wrong with you? ‐ I'm not stalking her. 180 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:58,626 Wait, how do you know Kat? ‐ Uh, 'cause I own my own cellular device. 181 00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,382 Oh, shit. 182 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,720 Is she in your Top Five All‐Time Boo‐Hoo list? 183 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:04,505 ‐ Simon! 184 00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:05,718 ‐ She's very intuitive. 185 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:08,097 ‐ No, listen. For real, for real, no judgment. 186 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,465 I'm here for you. You know what I mean? 187 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,271 If you want to take a vision quest 188 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:14,055 and go into your past and sort some shit out, 189 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,439 that's dope. 190 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,345 Matter of fact, 191 00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:17,864 you want some DMT? 192 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:18,855 ‐ What does it mean, Cherise? 193 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,436 ‐ Now, listen to me, because I know a guy‐‐ 194 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,230 ‐ Cherise, what does the fucking check mark mean? 195 00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,154 ‐ It means she's verified, dude. 196 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,702 She is internet royalty. 197 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:28,116 ‐ She's been anointed a public figure by the Instagods. 198 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,985 ‐ Yup. I heard 199 00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:33,082 she helped The Carters pick out their art collection. 200 00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,708 You sure you really dated her? 201 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,713 ‐ Yeah. ‐ And you slid into her DMs? 202 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,001 ‐ I guess. 203 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:43,802 ‐ Oooh! She left it on seen. 204 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,127 ‐ Wait. You can see she saw it? 205 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,182 [snickers] 206 00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:49,045 ‐ She is an evil petty bitch, and I fuckin' love her! 207 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,046 [Cherise laughing] 208 00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,224 [crowd cheering, applauding] 209 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,562 WOMAN: All right, you brilliant idiots. 210 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:57,598 I am thrilled to bring out the last comic of the night. 211 00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,935 Give it up for Justin Kitt. 212 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,898 ROB: Justin, on the other hand, was very easy to get a hold of. 213 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,990 He still has the same Microsoft Paint website. 214 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:08,775 And he still does Thursday nights at the same shitty West Village comedy club. 215 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,030 ‐ All right. Some of you gave me the look‐‐ 216 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,043 ROB: If this all sounds terribly unsexy, 217 00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:15,155 I guess it's because... it is. 218 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,832 Or he is. Or was. 219 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,210 I think. 220 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:20,787 There's actually a lot about this relationship I don't really remember. 221 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:21,672 Huh. 222 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,168 ‐ See, I acknowledge my male privilege, so you know I'm woke. 223 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,381 And I acknowledge my aforementioned acknowledgement, 224 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,131 so you know I'm self‐aware. 225 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,593 I got this. 226 00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:32,641 [clears throat] Hey, you. 227 00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:35,354 Dating apps. Who's swiping? Anybody? 228 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:37,980 Rob Brooks. 229 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,690 I thought that was you. ‐ In the flesh. 230 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,557 ‐ Still drinking whiskey neat like a tough guy? 231 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,404 ‐ Still drinking vodka soda like a little bitch? 232 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:46,817 ‐ You got that? 233 00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:48,741 [Rob clears throat] 234 00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:52,445 So... what brings you in? 235 00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,702 ‐ Um... all right. 236 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,156 Bear with me here, okay? ‐ Okay. 237 00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,123 ‐ I'm kinda doing this‐‐ [cell phone buzzing] 238 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,582 ‐ Oh shit, hang on one sec. ‐ Oh yeah. Sure. 239 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:02,625 ‐ Hey. 240 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,877 No, I told you I'm doing a late set tonight. 241 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:07,375 ‐ Yeah. 242 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,591 ‐ Oh, shit. I'm really sorry. Put him on the phone. 243 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,506 Hey, Spider‐Man. 244 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,391 Listen, Daddy's gonna be home a little bit late tonight, okay? 245 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,520 Spider‐Man? Hel‐‐ Hey. 246 00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:21,102 No, he didn't say anything. 247 00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:24,064 Yes, Sheila. I did the Spider‐‐ Hello? 248 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,978 [sighs heavily] 249 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:30,903 ‐ You have a kid? 250 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,238 ‐ I got a kid 251 00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:33,905 and a baby mama. 252 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:37,617 And... I don't think either of them like me too much. 253 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:38,999 ‐ Oh. Shit. 254 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,620 I'm sorry. ‐ It's all right. 255 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,673 It's just a bit of a rough patch. 256 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,378 She thinks I drink too much. 257 00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,878 ‐ Do you? ‐ Of course. 258 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,425 Anyway. Sheila doesn't respect me, 259 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,585 she certainly doesn't love me, I got no idea how to talk to the kid. 260 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,219 I mean, I go home‐‐ ‐ I don't think I have the heart to launch 261 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,181 into the whole "why did you reject me" thing. 262 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:02,057 This dude is... sad. 263 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,110 ‐ Anyway, it's really good to see you, Rob. 264 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,106 ‐ Yeah, you too. 265 00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:11,034 ‐ I know I was a real jerk and a mess when we were together. 266 00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,278 ‐ Oh‐‐ ‐ No, but listen, 267 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,949 honestly, afterwards, I just, 268 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,407 pff, I got a whole lot worse. 269 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,985 I mean, I'm not trying to make it sound like things haven't been okay 270 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,124 since you broke up with me. 271 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,160 It's not like that, but... they haven't been great‐‐ 272 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,924 ‐ Oh, my God, he's right. JUSTIN: You know how it goes‐‐ 273 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:25,956 ‐ I broke up with him. I rejected him! 274 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,383 God, this is great! 275 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,507 Why didn't I do this years ago? 276 00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,012 Sorry to hear that, man. 277 00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:34,838 ♪ A Tribe Called Quest's Electric Relaxation playing ♪ 278 00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,933 ♪ Told you in the jam that we can get down ♪ 279 00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:39,179 ♪ Now let's knock the boots like the group H‐Town ♪ 280 00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:41,771 ♪ You got BBD all on your bedroom wall ♪ 281 00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:44,347 ♪ But I'm above the rim and this is how I ball ♪ 282 00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,563 ♪ A gritty little something on the New York street ♪ 283 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,233 ♪ This is how I represent over this here beat ♪ 284 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:50,193 ♪ Talking 'bout you ♪ 285 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,652 ♪ Yo, I took you out ♪ 286 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,782 ♪ But sex was on my mind for the whole damn route ♪ 287 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,909 ‐ You know, I'm not totally sure that the placement is the problem. 288 00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:59,197 ‐ And I'm not totally sure skinny jeans is your look, 289 00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:01,701 but you don't see me all up in your goddamn ass, do you? 290 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:02,793 ‐ I'm just trying to help. 291 00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,618 ‐ All right, go ahead, what is it? 292 00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:07,333 ‐ I just think that there's, that there's not much to latch onto. 293 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,924 ‐ The fuck are you talkin' about? 294 00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,839 ‐ Everybody thinks that they're a bad‐ass. 295 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:13,798 Everyone thinks they're unapologetic and a visionary. Everybody thinks that. 296 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,219 ‐ Yeah, but I actually am though. 297 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:16,337 ‐ Sure. Right. I get that. 298 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,353 But just, just, just be like, 299 00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,974 just a little bit more specific, that's all. 300 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,643 CHERISE: A little bit? SIMON: That's it! 301 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:25,311 Just, like, show people where you're coming from, who you are. 302 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,902 ‐ I am... a badass. ‐ Understandable. 303 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,606 ‐ You gotta show 'em where you're coming from. 304 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,776 Right? Like, badass is like a big thing, 305 00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:33,145 but you need someone to see something like, 306 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,531 I'm into "Ooh!" and they're like, 307 00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,988 "Oh, that. I wanna be a part of that." 308 00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:38,663 [exhales heavily] 309 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:39,577 That's it. 310 00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,115 Then you can put this shit wherever. 311 00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,737 And then people will come. 312 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,461 ‐ People will come? 313 00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,174 They will. 314 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:48,581 ‐ If you build it. 315 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,419 ‐ They will come? 316 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,214 Ha, ha, ha! Yes. 317 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,514 ‐ I'm sorry, can I, can I move these out of the way for you? 318 00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,812 ‐ Oh, yeah, please. Thank you. Get that out the way. 319 00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:04,022 Drrr‐oo! 320 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,391 Du‐du! 321 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,481 [telephone ringing] 322 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,822 ‐ Championship. WOMAN: Hi, is this Rob? 323 00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,437 Speaking. ‐ Hi, it's Kat. 324 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:21,490 ‐ Um... hey‐‐ hey! 325 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,741 Ho‐‐ how are you? 326 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:26,543 ‐ Sorry I didn't call sooner. I was at this awful silent retreat in Bali, 327 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,245 no internet service, 328 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,078 the most temperamental monks. 329 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,293 Just plain awful. 330 00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:32,543 Anyway, 331 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,634 how've you been the last nine million years? 332 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,465 What's the damage? Tell me everything. 333 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,126 ‐ This is seriously how she talks. 334 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,764 I mean, what is this, a John Hughes movie? 335 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:44,263 Um, yeah, I'm, I'm good. I'm good. 336 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,774 ‐ Aw. That's really great, Rob. 337 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,846 Makes me so happy to hear that you're doing so well. 338 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,312 ‐ Didn't say I was doing so well, but‐‐ 339 00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:51,772 ‐ Isn't it funny to think 340 00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,322 that we used to spend hours just dreaming about 341 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:56,146 the lives that we would lead 10 years down the line 342 00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,071 and now here we are living them? 343 00:12:58,070 --> 00:12:59,660 It's so... I don't know‐‐ 344 00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:01,452 ‐ Remarkable. 345 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:02,990 KAT: Remarkable. 346 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,157 ‐ Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. 347 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,871 KAT: So, are you in or you out, Rob? 348 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,211 ‐ I'm sorry, am I, am I what? 349 00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:13,998 ‐ Well... I received a spate of these "ex calls" recently. 350 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:17,672 It's probably the downside of being vaguely whatever on the internet. 351 00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:20,013 And everyone just seems to be going through 352 00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:22,181 these "what‐does‐it‐all‐mean?" trips. 353 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,221 Remember Caitlin? 354 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,100 I went out with her after you? 355 00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:27,562 ‐ Ka‐‐ 356 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:29,765 Um, vaguely. 357 00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:31,398 ‐ Yeah, yeah. So, she called me up recently, 358 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:34,395 and she was trying to rehash the past. 359 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:36,608 And was I up for it? No, I wasn't. 360 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,858 But I am open to being pals, Rob. 361 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,071 So if you're around for a time, I'd love to, 362 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,321 I'd love to see you and catch up. 363 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,452 ‐ Oh, well, uh... [chuckles] 364 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,869 I'm not trying to rehash anything. 365 00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,738 I, uh, I hate rehashing. 366 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,084 Rehashing sucks. 367 00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:51,254 ‐ Yeah. You should stop by mine tonight. 368 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:52,957 If you're in. 369 00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,129 So... are you? 370 00:13:56,587 --> 00:13:58,797 ‐ Tonight. I might be‐‐ 371 00:13:58,797 --> 00:13:59,757 [inhales sharply] 372 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,376 Let me just check my, um, 373 00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:04,388 calendar real fast. 374 00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:05,386 Let me just check my‐‐ 375 00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:08,851 Uh... yeah, you know, I have something, 376 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,099 but I can, I can move it. 377 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,890 So, yeah, I'm in. KAT: Cool. 378 00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,404 I don't like this. Take it. 379 00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:20,148 ♪ 380 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,615 ‐ Ha‐ha. That is exactly right. 381 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,254 ‐ New York is full of people who make you feel not enough. 382 00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:36,248 There's always someone more successful or richer or prettier than you. 383 00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,713 Kat made me feel not enough. 384 00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:40,553 [cash register dings] 385 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,007 She also made me feel special. 386 00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:43,928 Until she left me. 387 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:48,014 After which I felt... especially not enough. 388 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:48,933 ‐ You wearing lipstick? 389 00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,431 ‐ No. ‐ That's lipstick. 390 00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:52,767 ‐ Shut up. 391 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:55,272 It wouldn't be till Mac 392 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:58,360 that a person made me feel both special and enough. 393 00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:01,777 And if you find that person in this fuckin' city, 394 00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,607 you're crazy if you let them go. 395 00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:08,366 Ugh. 396 00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,996 [street traffic] 397 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,842 Turns out I'm crazy. 398 00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,343 ♪ electronic music playing faintly ♪ 399 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:25,431 [clears throat] 400 00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,430 ♪ electronic music grows louder ♪ 401 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,443 ‐ Rob. ‐ Hey, Kat. 402 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,435 How are you? 403 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:39,937 Mmm! KAT: Oh! 404 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,481 ‐ Are you still smoking? 405 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,444 ‐ Yeah, a little. 406 00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:44,901 WOMAN: Kat! 407 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,113 You need to tag me in the pictures. KAT: Yeah. 408 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,204 Yeah, yeah. 409 00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:49,698 ‐ Oh, shit. Am I, am I crashing? 410 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,240 ‐ What? No, no. Not at all. 411 00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:52,453 I told you it'd be a time. 412 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:53,793 ‐ A time, right. 413 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:54,957 That's a lot of people. 414 00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,416 Wow, this‐‐ Oh! 415 00:15:57,875 --> 00:16:00,085 Hmm. Got a... got a little‐‐ 416 00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:01,085 Can I? ‐ Yeah. 417 00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:08,184 I... got a little lipstick on. 418 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,469 This is cool? This is‐‐ 419 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,601 You got some swings. ‐ Yeah. 420 00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:15,099 Just throw your shit everywhere‐‐ 421 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:15,980 ‐ Oh, yeah, cool. 422 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:17,561 Oh, I, um, I bought a little‐‐ 423 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:19,191 ‐ Oh, my God! Dude! 424 00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:20,058 Oh, my God! 425 00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:23,783 Do you remember the time when we just drank the cheapest beer, 426 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,645 and nobody gave a shit? ‐ Yeah. 427 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:26,652 ‐ So young and free. 428 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,493 ‐ Yeah, I thought it would be funny to bring it. 429 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,618 ‐ Yup. 430 00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,155 You know, I got the cutest jacket today. 431 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,290 And I think, I think you might be the only person here 432 00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:37,998 who could just pull it off. 433 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,998 Trust me, just try it on. 434 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,920 ‐ I think, I'm fine. It's‐‐ ‐ Trust me. 435 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,297 ‐ Might be a little hot for this, no? 436 00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:46,837 ‐ Mm, no. It's breathable. 437 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:47,840 God! 438 00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:51,934 Okay. 439 00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:55,678 You're fucking remarkable. 440 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:57,391 Oh, my God. 441 00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:04,864 Hi, baby! 442 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,490 Pretty good, right? ‐ Yeah, this is. 443 00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:12,869 Oh, hey. Um, I'll be right back. 444 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,946 Mingle. ‐ Oh‐‐ Okay. 445 00:17:14,952 --> 00:17:16,952 [party chatter] 446 00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:21,293 ‐ Hey, can you help me with a photo real quick, over there? 447 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,541 ‐ Oh, I'm, I'm not really good at that. Maybe you wanna ask someone‐‐ 448 00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:26,464 ‐ No, no, no, you don't have to be good. Like, you just come here. 449 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:29,133 Like, make it look very fucked up and vibey, okay? 450 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,432 Just‐‐ ‐ Oh, okay. All right. 451 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:31,545 All right. 452 00:17:31,552 --> 00:17:33,972 ‐ Wait. Turn the flash on, please. ‐ Oh, sorry. Okay. 453 00:17:33,971 --> 00:17:34,931 ‐ Is it on? ‐ Yeah. 454 00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:35,930 ‐ Okay. Good. 455 00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:38,770 ROB: Hot. 456 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,186 ‐ Does it look real? 457 00:17:40,686 --> 00:17:42,596 ‐ Uh, yeah, looks, looks real. 458 00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,314 ‐ Does it look fucked up and vibey? 459 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,478 ‐ Um‐‐ ‐ Wait, can you see the can? 460 00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:48,862 ‐ Yeah, the can's in the photo. 461 00:17:48,861 --> 00:17:49,781 ‐ Cool. 462 00:17:50,529 --> 00:17:51,569 ‐ Looks pretty fucked up. 463 00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,662 ‐ Oh, sick. Thank you very much. 464 00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:54,527 ‐ Yep. 465 00:17:58,579 --> 00:18:00,039 ‐ [Kat clears throat] ‐ [bell tinkling] 466 00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:01,998 ‐ Dinner time! Come on. 467 00:18:04,543 --> 00:18:07,593 That's when I told her, no, you can't come to my birthday party. 468 00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,128 'Cause Beyoncé might be there and you fucking bit her. 469 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:11,682 [laughter] 470 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,217 ‐ Kat tells me you own a record store? 471 00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,929 ‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ That's so dope. 472 00:18:17,723 --> 00:18:19,983 I've always been shy about my musical preferences 473 00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:21,635 for, like, fear of judgment. 474 00:18:22,561 --> 00:18:24,481 ‐ Most of it comes down to just blind conviction. 475 00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:25,769 ‐ Exactly. 476 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,152 Like, do men feel the need to justify everything? 477 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,230 No. 478 00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,954 They just... take up space, exist. 479 00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:32,775 ‐ Right. 480 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,409 ‐ It's so bad‐ass for you to not only occupy 481 00:18:35,407 --> 00:18:39,327 but freaking own... such a historically masculine space. 482 00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:41,035 ‐ Yeah, I guess it is kind of bad‐ass. 483 00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:44,169 I should hate these people. 484 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:48,456 And I think I do, but just... give me a second. 485 00:18:48,462 --> 00:18:50,302 ‐ So how do you know Kat? 486 00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:52,047 ‐ Um... we used to date. 487 00:18:52,508 --> 00:18:54,088 But now I guess we're pals. 488 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:55,471 Yeah. How about you? 489 00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:58,389 ‐ Well, to be honest, we've actually never met IRL. 490 00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,808 But I've followed her for months. 491 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,232 ‐ Right. 492 00:19:01,225 --> 00:19:03,635 ‐ Actually, this is the first time meeting anyone here. 493 00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:05,728 ‐ What? ‐ Don't get me wrong, 494 00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:08,609 I'm usually averse to doing these Instagram Influencer meet‐ups. 495 00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:11,737 But we're getting paid so much to hawk this Soju shit. 496 00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:13,821 Korean money runs deep. 497 00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:15,488 Take a selfie. 498 00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:19,539 ♪ hip‐hop music playing ♪ 499 00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:21,785 ♪ 500 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,383 [indiscernible conversations] 501 00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:31,416 ‐ Yeah. I hate these people. They're awful. 502 00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,424 And the most awful of the awful? 503 00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,683 Fucking Kat Monroe. 504 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,391 KAT: Nobody in this world is making‐‐ 505 00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:44,730 ROB: She doesn't listen to anyone, she says terrible stupid things 506 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,726 that mean absolutely nothing, 507 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,228 and she totally gets away with it, 508 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,570 because no one here cares what you say 509 00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:52,726 as long as your selfies are lit right. 510 00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,740 [shutters clicking] 511 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,910 ‐ Oh, my God. Yes! 512 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,405 Yes, I will see you soon. Call me, okay? 513 00:20:00,409 --> 00:20:02,119 WOMAN: Thank you. KAT: Say hi to Alberto. 514 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,329 WOMAN: Bye. 515 00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,658 KAT: Bye. [door closes] 516 00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:07,003 [sighs heavily] Oh, fuck. 517 00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:10,998 [exhales forcefully] 518 00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:16,926 Hi, Rob. 519 00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,005 ‐ Hey, Kat. 520 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:20,141 ‐ What? 521 00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:22,755 ‐ That was quite the production. 522 00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,184 ‐ Oh, my God, I know. 523 00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:26,643 I mean, it's, it's all a bit ridiculous, but, you know, 524 00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:29,864 it's opening doors... and the sponsorship pays. 525 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:33,727 Plus these Soju dudes were just... so eager. 526 00:20:34,526 --> 00:20:36,356 I just felt bad for them, you know? 527 00:20:37,738 --> 00:20:38,908 You were great, by the way. 528 00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:40,316 ‐ Yeah, so, Kat, 529 00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:41,986 why'd you leave me for Caitlin? 530 00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:43,162 ‐ Oh, my God. Fuck! 531 00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:45,155 I fuckin' knew it! 532 00:20:45,162 --> 00:20:46,542 I fuckin' knew, motherfucker. 533 00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:49,168 I knew that you were going through one of those "what‐does‐it‐all‐mean?" things! 534 00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:50,921 I fuckin' knew it, I'm telling you. 535 00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,166 Shit! ‐ I am. 536 00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:55,420 I am. Very much so. 537 00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,636 It's okay, I can take it. 538 00:21:03,222 --> 00:21:04,222 Look. 539 00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:06,809 I mean, of course 540 00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:10,484 I thought that you were charming and thoughtful. 541 00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:13,766 And I just, I adored the way that you just got consumed 542 00:21:13,774 --> 00:21:15,234 by all of the things that you loved. 543 00:21:16,026 --> 00:21:19,026 But I just felt that I was... dragging you a bit? 544 00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:21,871 And Caitlin was less hard work? 545 00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:24,195 Like, a little bit sunnier. 546 00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:25,535 Sparkier. 547 00:21:25,953 --> 00:21:29,163 Like, a little bit more... sure of herself? 548 00:21:29,164 --> 00:21:31,124 ‐ Okay. All right. Thank you, that's really helpful. 549 00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:33,344 ‐ And you just always seemed 550 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,840 like, how do I put this, in search of yourself? 551 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:42,760 Like, looking for constant purpose and validation? 552 00:21:43,804 --> 00:21:46,014 ‐ Is that it? ‐ You could also be a bit obsessive, 553 00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:47,434 like, um, a little 554 00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:49,808 too in touch with your feelings. 555 00:21:50,769 --> 00:21:52,399 ‐ Okay. ‐ I hope it's not hurtful. 556 00:21:52,396 --> 00:21:53,976 You seem like you're doing great now, 557 00:21:53,981 --> 00:21:56,611 if it's, you know... any consolation. 558 00:21:57,568 --> 00:21:59,438 Oh, fuck. We gotta go. 559 00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:02,744 I need to be out by 10 or I'm screwed. 560 00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:03,449 ‐ What do you mean? 561 00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:05,368 ‐ Oh, my God. You thought that I live here? 562 00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:08,042 Fuck, you're funny. 563 00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,206 Honey, this is an events rental. Come on. 564 00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:15,287 Let's go. Chop‐chop. 565 00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:20,215 ‐ Oh, shit. 566 00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:22,005 Da‐da‐da‐da‐da! 567 00:22:22,009 --> 00:22:23,179 Read it to me! 568 00:22:23,886 --> 00:22:25,756 Okay. "Front woman looking for a band. 569 00:22:25,762 --> 00:22:28,142 "Once in a generation soul samurai front woman 570 00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:30,100 "(Aretha‐meets‐Ann Wilson‐ meets‐Wilson Pickett‐ 571 00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:31,440 "meets‐Cree Summer‐meets‐Prince, 572 00:22:31,435 --> 00:22:33,395 but taller and not such a weirdo)" ‐Weirdo. 573 00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,265 ‐ seeks galactic cowboy supergroup." 574 00:22:35,272 --> 00:22:36,822 ‐ Read my motherfuckin' influences. 575 00:22:36,815 --> 00:22:38,145 ‐ "Influences must include: 576 00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:41,150 "Stevie Wonder '66‐'77 only... ‐ Stevie Wonder! 577 00:22:41,153 --> 00:22:43,913 James Brown, Live at the Apollo 1963 (mostly side A)." 578 00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:45,156 ♪ Mostly side A ♪ 579 00:22:45,157 --> 00:22:48,077 ‐ "King Crimson, but not so prog. Dungen but more Nordic. 580 00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:49,696 "Cream, but only Ginger and Jack. 581 00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:52,003 "The tambourine on While My Guitar Gently Weeps. 582 00:22:51,997 --> 00:22:53,667 "The tambourine on Edwin Starr's War. 583 00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:56,035 "Think Brian Eno producing Beyoncé fronting Soul Coughing 584 00:22:56,043 --> 00:22:58,303 "but with Daniel Ash on guitar. 585 00:22:58,295 --> 00:23:00,165 See Cherise in store for more info." 586 00:23:00,172 --> 00:23:01,302 That's definitely more specific. 587 00:23:01,882 --> 00:23:03,882 [laughter] 588 00:23:07,971 --> 00:23:09,851 SIMON: You look like a high fashion Ninja Turtle. 589 00:23:09,848 --> 00:23:11,058 ‐ No, it doesn't! 590 00:23:11,058 --> 00:23:14,438 Yo, I could have told you that lady is the motherfuckin' worst. 591 00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:17,146 Bro, she livestreams her workouts every morning. 592 00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:18,397 It's the ultimate hate‐watch. 593 00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:21,818 ‐ You know she told me I was obsessive and too in touch with my feelings. 594 00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:27,656 ‐ Those are not the words I would use‐‐ ‐ What? No. Not at all. Fuck her. 595 00:23:27,658 --> 00:23:28,988 ‐ Yeah. CHERISE: That is crazy. 596 00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:29,912 ‐ Yeah. 597 00:23:31,328 --> 00:23:33,538 ‐ Yeah, she said some really fuckin' hurtful shit. 598 00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:38,132 I am... yeah, I'm done with this... this whole thing. I'm done. 599 00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:39,546 ‐ Thank you. Thank you. 600 00:23:39,545 --> 00:23:41,415 ‐ You know, it's weird and stupid. 601 00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:43,301 ‐ I'm glad you finally realized that. 602 00:23:46,051 --> 00:23:48,141 ‐ Although‐‐ ‐ Fuck me! 603 00:23:48,136 --> 00:23:51,176 ‐ Why should I care what a person like that thinks about me, anyway? 604 00:23:51,181 --> 00:23:52,471 ‐ Exactly. ‐ You should not. 605 00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:53,894 ‐ She sucks. ‐ She sucks. 606 00:23:53,892 --> 00:23:57,352 ‐ I should want... to be rejected by someone like that. 607 00:23:57,354 --> 00:23:58,564 ‐ How the fuck did you get from that to this? 608 00:23:58,564 --> 00:23:59,694 ‐ What kind of mentality is that? No. ROB: Yes. 609 00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:01,860 Yes. Yes! CHERISE: Are you serious? 610 00:24:01,859 --> 00:24:03,649 ‐ Oh, my God. Freedom! 611 00:24:03,652 --> 00:24:06,742 The lessons. The lessons. This idea is so fuckin' baller. 612 00:24:07,239 --> 00:24:09,279 ‐ You're gonna end up with your ex's ballers on your face, 613 00:24:09,283 --> 00:24:10,833 if you keep up with this list shit, all right? 614 00:24:10,826 --> 00:24:13,156 Now, you gonna sit here and lie to me and tell me you ain't fucked none of them exes? 615 00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:15,001 ‐ No. This is about the truth, Cherise. 616 00:24:14,997 --> 00:24:16,157 SIMON: Exactly. 617 00:24:16,164 --> 00:24:18,794 Which is why you need to quit while you're ahead. 618 00:24:18,792 --> 00:24:20,042 ‐ What do you mean? 619 00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:21,253 ‐ Just stop. 620 00:24:21,253 --> 00:24:23,093 Quit before you get to the one that broke your heart. 621 00:24:23,088 --> 00:24:24,718 ‐ Mac is next. 622 00:24:24,715 --> 00:24:26,715 SIMON: Yeah. Just don't do it. 623 00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:32,718 ‐ Nope. I'm doing it. 624 00:24:32,723 --> 00:24:34,223 ‐ Okay. Sure. 625 00:24:35,893 --> 00:24:36,773 [slams glass on table] 626 00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:39,058 ‐ Four down. One to go. [grunts] 627 00:24:39,688 --> 00:24:42,568 ‐ Yo, what is the probability that she gonna fuck Mac. 628 00:24:42,566 --> 00:24:43,976 ‐ Fifty‐fifty. 629 00:24:43,984 --> 00:24:46,994 ♪ 630 00:24:46,987 --> 00:24:49,657 ♪ Beastie Boys' I Don't Know playing ♪ 631 00:24:49,656 --> 00:24:52,326 ♪ 632 00:24:52,326 --> 00:24:55,446 ♪ What's pleasing to ♪ 633 00:24:56,246 --> 00:24:57,786 ♪ The eye ♪ 634 00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:05,709 ♪ In the delusion of my sight ♪ 635 00:25:08,842 --> 00:25:12,552 ♪ Is not what I find ♪ 636 00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:15,934 ♪ When I reach into the light ♪ 637 00:25:17,601 --> 00:25:22,021 ♪ I have lost my mind ♪ 638 00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:23,232 [chuckles] 639 00:25:24,233 --> 00:25:25,903 "What are you doing, Rob? Why are you here?" 640 00:25:25,901 --> 00:25:27,241 Yeah, fuck that. [clears throat] 641 00:25:29,071 --> 00:25:30,071 MAC: Hey. 642 00:25:30,489 --> 00:25:31,819 ‐ Hey! 643 00:25:32,783 --> 00:25:33,833 ‐ Rob. 644 00:25:36,245 --> 00:25:37,655 ‐ Surprise! 645 00:25:37,663 --> 00:25:38,833 ‐ What's up? 646 00:25:39,289 --> 00:25:40,289 ‐ Nothin'. 647 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,210 Oh, what's up? Why am I out here? 648 00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:48,381 Um, yeah, I was, uh, I was just over at the bar with Simon and Cherise, 649 00:25:48,382 --> 00:25:50,342 and we were talking and I was gonna walk home 650 00:25:50,342 --> 00:25:52,552 and then I remembered that you live near here now, 651 00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:54,433 so I thought, um, maybe I would stop‐‐ 652 00:25:54,429 --> 00:25:55,349 ‐ Rob. 653 00:25:56,098 --> 00:25:57,678 ROB: Yeah? ‐ Do you want to come up for a sec? 654 00:25:58,183 --> 00:25:59,233 ‐ Yeah. That'd be great. 655 00:26:08,485 --> 00:26:09,435 ‐ You want a drink? 656 00:26:10,112 --> 00:26:11,282 ‐ Uh, yeah. 657 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:12,820 ‐ I think I've got some of that tea you like. 658 00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:15,988 ‐ Maybe something stronger. ‐ Yeah. 659 00:26:16,493 --> 00:26:17,493 Definitely. ‐ Yeah. 660 00:26:19,121 --> 00:26:20,251 [clears throat] 661 00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:25,286 Oh, hey, Marco. 662 00:26:26,128 --> 00:26:27,128 What's up, little dude? 663 00:26:29,256 --> 00:26:30,546 ‐ [meows] ‐ [Rob chuckles] 664 00:26:36,388 --> 00:26:37,428 You got your own. 665 00:26:38,056 --> 00:26:39,176 ‐ Yeah, you trained me well. 666 00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:42,058 Computer speakers will never sound the same. 667 00:26:42,060 --> 00:26:43,810 ‐ Need to work on your record collection though. 668 00:26:44,396 --> 00:26:45,806 That is pitiful, my friend. 669 00:26:45,814 --> 00:26:46,864 ‐ I know. 670 00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:48,357 ‐ Nice digs, dude. 671 00:26:49,193 --> 00:26:50,193 Very nice. 672 00:26:51,862 --> 00:26:52,862 Thank you. 673 00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:58,914 ‐ You still rocking the jacket. 674 00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:01,503 ‐ Yep, yep, I am. 675 00:27:02,414 --> 00:27:04,884 I, I tried switching it up recently but 676 00:27:05,834 --> 00:27:07,214 'twas not the groove. 677 00:27:07,211 --> 00:27:09,051 ‐ No. Don't do that. That's your look. 678 00:27:11,006 --> 00:27:14,676 ‐ Hey, I'm really sorry about the late night playlist thing. 679 00:27:14,676 --> 00:27:16,386 That was, um, 680 00:27:17,596 --> 00:27:19,056 not my finest hour. 681 00:27:19,056 --> 00:27:20,596 ‐ Yeah, it was a weird move. 682 00:27:20,599 --> 00:27:21,809 ‐ I just said that. 683 00:27:23,060 --> 00:27:25,100 Yes, I'm sorry. That's what I'm trying to say. 684 00:27:25,103 --> 00:27:25,983 ‐ It's cool. 685 00:27:26,980 --> 00:27:28,480 I'm sorry, I know I should have replied‐‐ 686 00:27:28,482 --> 00:27:30,442 ‐ No, no, no, it's totally fine. 687 00:27:33,278 --> 00:27:34,318 ‐ It's dope though. 688 00:27:34,321 --> 00:27:35,531 I've been listening. 689 00:27:35,989 --> 00:27:36,989 ‐ Oh, yeah? ‐ Yeah. 690 00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:38,530 ‐ In order? ‐ Do you think I'm a crazy person? 691 00:27:39,535 --> 00:27:41,365 I learned my lesson many moons ago, Rob: 692 00:27:41,787 --> 00:27:44,747 thou shalt not shuffle the lady's playlists. 693 00:27:44,748 --> 00:27:46,788 ‐ I'm just saying it's like that for a reason. 694 00:27:46,792 --> 00:27:48,212 There's a story there, man. 695 00:27:48,210 --> 00:27:49,210 ‐ Oh, I get it. 696 00:27:56,552 --> 00:27:57,642 It's good to see you, Rob. 697 00:27:58,762 --> 00:27:59,682 ‐ Yeah, you too. 698 00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:08,024 ‐ I'm sorry we never really talked after everything went down, you know. 699 00:28:08,397 --> 00:28:09,817 ‐ Yeah. Me too. 700 00:28:11,942 --> 00:28:14,742 The whole "moving across the Atlantic" thing didn't really give me 701 00:28:15,529 --> 00:28:17,109 a "let's talk about it" vibe. 702 00:28:17,114 --> 00:28:17,824 So‐‐ 703 00:28:19,408 --> 00:28:20,488 ‐ Yeah, well. 704 00:28:21,368 --> 00:28:23,158 You know, I tried to talk to you, Rob, 705 00:28:23,161 --> 00:28:26,001 I tried over and over, but you don't listen, you never listened. 706 00:28:25,998 --> 00:28:27,748 ‐ Oh, I, I never listened? 707 00:28:27,749 --> 00:28:30,249 I nev‐‐ I nev‐‐ Okay. All right. 708 00:28:31,503 --> 00:28:32,503 Interesting. 709 00:28:33,422 --> 00:28:34,922 And, um, [clears throat] 710 00:28:34,923 --> 00:28:36,593 Lily, she's a, she's a good listener? 711 00:28:36,592 --> 00:28:38,342 ‐ Oh, Jesus Christ! ‐ What? No, no, I just wanna know. 712 00:28:38,343 --> 00:28:41,053 She understands you? She nods at all the right times and stuff? 713 00:28:42,264 --> 00:28:43,274 ‐ What do you want, Rob? 714 00:28:50,147 --> 00:28:51,147 ‐ I‐‐ 715 00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:53,484 I want you to‐‐ 716 00:28:55,027 --> 00:28:57,317 I want you to tell me that it's not serious between you two. 717 00:28:58,864 --> 00:29:02,084 I want you to tell me that you haven't proposed... yet. 718 00:29:03,744 --> 00:29:05,254 And I want that to be the truth. 719 00:29:07,998 --> 00:29:08,998 ‐ Uh‐‐ 720 00:29:14,171 --> 00:29:15,591 I can't do that, Rob. 721 00:29:22,638 --> 00:29:24,468 ‐ Okay. Okay. 722 00:29:25,557 --> 00:29:26,557 [door slams shut] 723 00:29:27,226 --> 00:29:30,226 [breathing heavily] 724 00:29:33,273 --> 00:29:36,533 Why couldn't I just... ask him? 725 00:29:37,152 --> 00:29:38,362 I asked all the others. 726 00:29:38,862 --> 00:29:40,612 I mean, that's what I went there to do, right? 727 00:29:40,614 --> 00:29:42,954 And I fucking choked. 728 00:29:44,493 --> 00:29:46,873 Instead, I ask him if he's engaged? 729 00:29:48,664 --> 00:29:50,334 And he's engaged. 730 00:29:52,334 --> 00:29:53,384 Jesus! 731 00:29:53,377 --> 00:29:56,377 ♪ David Bowie's It Ain't Easy playing ♪ 732 00:29:56,380 --> 00:29:59,380 ♪ 733 00:30:04,763 --> 00:30:08,143 ♪ When you climb to the top of the mountain ♪ 734 00:30:08,851 --> 00:30:11,441 ♪ Look out over the sea ♪ 735 00:30:13,772 --> 00:30:15,402 What am I trying to figure out? 736 00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:19,190 That I'm doomed to die alone, and it's my fault? 737 00:30:21,196 --> 00:30:22,406 Or it's not, and it's fate? 738 00:30:22,990 --> 00:30:24,070 Either way, I'm alone. 739 00:30:24,867 --> 00:30:26,027 Either way, there's no Mac. 740 00:30:27,411 --> 00:30:28,411 Either way‐‐ 741 00:30:28,412 --> 00:30:32,962 ♪ ...strange things circulating round ♪ 742 00:30:32,958 --> 00:30:36,918 ♪ All the people have got their problems ♪ 743 00:30:37,796 --> 00:30:40,006 ♪ That ain't nothing new ♪ 744 00:30:40,007 --> 00:30:41,047 It's happening. 745 00:30:42,092 --> 00:30:43,302 It's happening. 746 00:30:45,804 --> 00:30:47,564 Well, thanks for tuning in, folks. 747 00:30:47,556 --> 00:30:49,806 Next week on the Sad Lady show, 748 00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:50,848 we're gonna team up 749 00:30:51,476 --> 00:30:54,686 and fight the loneliness together with cats and cigarettes 750 00:30:54,688 --> 00:30:56,438 and reruns of Murder, She Wrote. 751 00:31:00,068 --> 00:31:01,608 This was a terrible idea. 752 00:31:01,612 --> 00:31:04,532 ♪ It ain't easy ♪ 753 00:31:05,073 --> 00:31:08,043 ♪ It ain't easy ♪ 754 00:31:08,493 --> 00:31:11,413 ♪ It ain't easy to get to heaven ♪ 755 00:31:11,413 --> 00:31:15,713 ♪ When you're going down ♪ 756 00:31:15,709 --> 00:31:19,629 ♪ Well, all the people have got their problems ♪ 757 00:31:20,506 --> 00:31:22,756 ♪ That ain't nothing new ♪ 758 00:31:23,926 --> 00:31:27,296 ♪ But with the help of the good Lord ♪ 759 00:31:27,763 --> 00:31:29,933 ♪ We can all pull on through ♪ 760 00:31:30,474 --> 00:31:33,354 ♪ We can all pull on through ♪ 761 00:31:34,478 --> 00:31:37,018 ♪ Get there in the end ♪ 762 00:31:38,065 --> 00:31:41,435 ♪ Sometimes it'll take you right up ♪ 763 00:31:41,443 --> 00:31:44,363 ♪ And sometimes down again ♪ 764 00:31:44,363 --> 00:31:47,283 ♪ It ain't easy ♪ 765 00:31:47,866 --> 00:31:50,406 ♪ It ain't easy ♪ 766 00:31:51,245 --> 00:31:54,245 ♪ It ain't easy to get to heaven ♪ 767 00:31:54,248 --> 00:31:57,628 ♪ When you're going down ♪