1
00:00:56,055 --> 00:00:58,974
<i>Here's a little story I'd like to tell...</i>

2
00:00:59,141 --> 00:01:02,978
<i>about three best friends
and their first Noel.</i>

3
00:01:03,812 --> 00:01:07,900
<i>It begins right before Christmas 2001...</i>

4
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:11,320
<i>when a young man named Ethan
became an orphan.</i>

5
00:01:11,820 --> 00:01:14,740
<i>His mama and papa both tragically gone...</i>

6
00:01:14,907 --> 00:01:19,745
<i>it seemed for him
Christmas had sung its swan song.</i>

7
00:01:19,912 --> 00:01:22,289
<i>As he sat alone on Christmas Eve...</i>

8
00:01:22,456 --> 00:01:25,000
<i>his friends came over
and forced him to leave.</i>

9
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:27,461
<i>They had to get Ethan out of his funk...</i>

10
00:01:27,878 --> 00:01:31,006
<i>so they went to a bar
and they got his ass drunk.</i>

11
00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:35,803
<i>With tears and with sadness
they started to mend. Then they said:</i>

12
00:01:35,969 --> 00:01:38,722
No more crying. This sad shit must end.

13
00:01:38,889 --> 00:01:42,309
Christmas was about family,
but now it's about friends.

14
00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:44,853
<i>Thus began a new tradition.</i>

15
00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:47,606
<i>The friends hung on Christmas
and fun was their mission.</i>

16
00:01:47,773 --> 00:01:50,150
Who's the baddest motherfucker
on Christmas day?

17
00:01:53,278 --> 00:01:54,279
You knew.

18
00:01:54,655 --> 00:01:55,948
- Boom!
- What is it?

19
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:58,867
That shit holds a hundred songs
at one time.

20
00:01:59,034 --> 00:02:00,369
I got the new Dave Matthews downloaded.

21
00:02:00,536 --> 00:02:02,079
Oh, yeah. Ricky Martin.

22
00:02:02,246 --> 00:02:03,872
That guy slays ass.

23
00:02:04,206 --> 00:02:07,876
<i>They chilled with each other,
did all sorts of stuff.</i>

24
00:02:08,043 --> 00:02:10,337
<i>They drank many drinks,
they fucked shit up.</i>

25
00:02:10,504 --> 00:02:11,547
Light his dick.

26
00:02:18,095 --> 00:02:20,514
<i>Then one fateful night, 2008...</i>

27
00:02:20,681 --> 00:02:23,767
<i>they realized that Christmas
can be even more great.</i>

28
00:02:23,934 --> 00:02:26,645
<i>That eve at the bar,
they saw quite a sight.</i>

29
00:02:26,812 --> 00:02:29,815
<i>Fellow seekers of joy
having one crazy night.</i>

30
00:02:29,982 --> 00:02:32,568
<i>And there was a woman, so pretty to all.</i>

31
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:35,362
<i>They worked up the courage,
proceeded to call.</i>

32
00:02:35,529 --> 00:02:38,741
- Excuse me.
<i>- Ethan said. And she turned with a fright.</i>

33
00:02:38,907 --> 00:02:41,326
Where were you guys partying
earlier tonight?

34
00:02:41,493 --> 00:02:44,163
At a place so great
words cannot describe...

35
00:02:44,329 --> 00:02:46,415
with so many drinks for one to imbibe.

36
00:02:46,582 --> 00:02:49,126
With so many drugs,
I can't believe I survived.

37
00:02:49,293 --> 00:02:50,586
What the fuck...

38
00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:51,920
<i>Ethan asked.</i>

39
00:02:52,087 --> 00:02:53,839
...is this party called?

40
00:02:54,006 --> 00:02:55,466
Why, you haven't heard?

41
00:02:55,632 --> 00:02:57,801
It's the Nutcracker Ball.

42
00:02:58,802 --> 00:03:01,388
<i>They asked all around, but to no avail.</i>

43
00:03:01,555 --> 00:03:05,142
<i>Where was this great party,
this whitest of whales?</i>

44
00:03:05,309 --> 00:03:08,062
<i>And though year upon year
they tried and they failed...</i>

45
00:03:08,228 --> 00:03:11,690
<i>they never did tire, they never did bail.</i>

46
00:03:11,857 --> 00:03:14,193
<i>But over time, the fun did wane.</i>

47
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,905
<i>One friend had a family,
the other had fame.</i>

48
00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:21,075
<i>As the years passed,
his boys, they grew up.</i>

49
00:03:21,241 --> 00:03:25,037
<i>But it seems our boy Ethan
is just a little bit stuck.</i>

50
00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:31,960
What's up, buddy? No?

51
00:03:32,127 --> 00:03:34,046
All right. You guys want any of this?

52
00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:35,798
- No, thank you.
- Cool.

53
00:03:35,964 --> 00:03:37,925
Keep it moving. There you go.

54
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,510
Yes, good.

55
00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:41,512
Wait. No, no, no. What are you doing?

56
00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,847
No one was eating this tuna,
so I thought...

57
00:03:44,014 --> 00:03:46,433
No, no, no. You don't get to
make those executive decisions, elf.

58
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,018
How old are you?

59
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,729
- Thirty-three.
- Thirty-three.

60
00:03:51,188 --> 00:03:52,690
Thirty-three years old, and you're an elf.

61
00:03:52,856 --> 00:03:54,983
And you don't even know how to be an elf.

62
00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:56,276
Show me the elf face.

63
00:03:58,362 --> 00:04:00,781
It's happy. It's eager.

64
00:04:00,948 --> 00:04:02,282
More whimsical.

65
00:04:02,449 --> 00:04:04,576
Whimsy. Determined, though.

66
00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:07,538
- There you go! That's it!
- That was it.

67
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,456
That's why you're coming back here
with a full tray.

68
00:04:09,623 --> 00:04:12,710
I'm gonna move you to coat check.
This is your last chance.

69
00:04:12,876 --> 00:04:15,921
And the whole time,
I wanna see that elf face.

70
00:04:16,088 --> 00:04:17,673
Starting now.

71
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:19,967
Go.

72
00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:21,135
Go.

73
00:04:24,304 --> 00:04:27,516
These two are together.
No, gotta take the ticket.

74
00:04:28,517 --> 00:04:30,102
Hi. Just you, sir?

75
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,688
Great. This is your ticket.
Please try not to lose it.

76
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,232
This is a very expensive coat,
so take care of it.

77
00:04:35,399 --> 00:04:36,942
Absolutely, sir.

78
00:04:37,109 --> 00:04:39,445
Here, ticket. Okay, this one.

79
00:04:39,611 --> 00:04:40,988
Yeah.

80
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:43,032
Yeah. Great.

81
00:04:43,198 --> 00:04:44,950
Hi. Merry Christmas, sir.

82
00:05:01,383 --> 00:05:02,384
Hey, what are you doing?

83
00:05:03,093 --> 00:05:04,136
Nothing.

84
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:08,390
I'm gonna be right back.

85
00:05:08,557 --> 00:05:09,641
Now, where are you going?

86
00:05:09,808 --> 00:05:12,019
I'm sick. Sick.

87
00:05:27,701 --> 00:05:30,662
<i>Congratulations. You're about to
have the best night of your life.</i>

88
00:05:30,829 --> 00:05:33,665
<i>You will learn valuable lessons,
be filled with Christmas cheer...</i>

89
00:05:33,832 --> 00:05:35,209
<i>and probably get laid.</i>

90
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:38,379
<i>We will release the location of our party
at 10 p.m.</i>

91
00:05:38,545 --> 00:05:39,755
<i>Merry Christmas.</i>

92
00:06:00,275 --> 00:06:02,945
Yeah, I know, Ma. I'm sorry,
but I have to stay here and work hard.

93
00:06:04,613 --> 00:06:06,990
How you think I'm having
such an amazing season?

94
00:06:07,616 --> 00:06:09,576
I love you too. Merry Christmas.

95
00:06:09,743 --> 00:06:10,828
Bye.

96
00:06:15,749 --> 00:06:17,668
What's up, fellas? How's it going, man?

97
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,503
Good to see you, baby. Merry Christmas.

98
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:21,797
You wanna take a picture, man?
Let's do it.

99
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,966
Just leave it!

100
00:06:26,218 --> 00:06:29,138
If you're not Christian, what are you?

101
00:06:29,304 --> 00:06:30,639
I'm Jewish.

102
00:06:30,806 --> 00:06:32,057
Is that why you look different?

103
00:06:32,224 --> 00:06:33,559
What was that? Come again.

104
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,020
You just look funny.

105
00:06:36,186 --> 00:06:37,730
I look funny?

106
00:06:37,896 --> 00:06:39,189
You ever see <i>The Shining</i>?

107
00:06:41,108 --> 00:06:42,192
- Isaac?
- Yo!

108
00:06:42,359 --> 00:06:43,360
What are you telling them?

109
00:06:43,527 --> 00:06:47,698
I'm just talking to your lovely daughters
as though they are adults.

110
00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:49,992
From a cognitive level,
if you speak to kids like they're adults...

111
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:53,078
it will make them more curious,
it will open up their minds to more things.

112
00:06:53,245 --> 00:06:55,664
- He's gonna be a great father.
- Yeah.

113
00:06:55,831 --> 00:06:58,876
I just hope we have kids
as beautiful as you girls.

114
00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:00,919
I'm sorry.

115
00:07:01,086 --> 00:07:02,379
Sweeties, just come help Mommy
in the kitchen.

116
00:07:02,546 --> 00:07:04,381
- Are you okay? You want a hug?
- That's okay.

117
00:07:04,548 --> 00:07:05,841
Okay.

118
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,927
- Gosh, I am such a fucking piece of shit.
- No, you're not at all.

119
00:07:09,094 --> 00:07:10,596
I'm the worst mom.
I'm gonna be terrible.

120
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:11,972
No. Don't say that.

121
00:07:12,139 --> 00:07:13,515
What if I screw this up?

122
00:07:13,682 --> 00:07:16,393
You won't. Studies show your maternal
instincts really kick in in the last month.

123
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,728
I know. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous.

124
00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:19,813
It's fine. I love you so much. Okay?

125
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:21,940
I love you too.

126
00:07:22,399 --> 00:07:23,984
Bets, look who it is.

127
00:07:24,151 --> 00:07:25,361
Ethan!

128
00:07:25,527 --> 00:07:26,653
Merry Christmas.

129
00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:28,572
Oh, my God! You look so big!

130
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:30,115
- No.
- No?

131
00:07:30,282 --> 00:07:32,117
You don't know
a lot of pregnant women, do you?

132
00:07:32,284 --> 00:07:34,203
- I meant the baby.
- No, I look really big.

133
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,413
You look great,
and the baby's probably cramped...

134
00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:38,415
- inside of your small, fit body.
- Thank you. No, that's enough.

135
00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:41,001
- Just shut up. It's all good. It's fine.
- I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say.

136
00:07:41,168 --> 00:07:42,169
She looks beautiful.

137
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:43,754
- You want a drink?
- Sure.

138
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,047
Do you want a drink, honey?

139
00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:46,423
I'm okay right now.

140
00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:47,675
Really?

141
00:07:47,841 --> 00:07:50,844
Yeah. I'm kinda on call.
Gotta keep my head on straight.

142
00:07:51,011 --> 00:07:52,346
- But you're gonna drink tonight?
- Yeah. For sure.

143
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,473
- Because I'm already kinda drunk.
- I can tell.

144
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,975
- Okay. That's Chris.
- Yeah.

145
00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:58,977
Everybody, look who it is!

146
00:07:59,144 --> 00:08:03,107
Merry Christmas, blessed Kwanzaa,
happy Hanukkah!

147
00:08:03,273 --> 00:08:05,567
Hey, man. How's it going?

148
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,737
Look at this! Oh, my God!

149
00:08:08,904 --> 00:08:11,198
I couldn't even tell you were pregnant
till I saw you from the side.

150
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:12,700
Look how tiny you are!

151
00:08:12,866 --> 00:08:14,451
That's so nice of you to say.

152
00:08:14,618 --> 00:08:16,161
That is how you talk to a pregnant woman.

153
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:20,040
It's amazing. You've had the season
of a lifetime. Congratulations, man.

154
00:08:20,207 --> 00:08:21,709
- Congrats.
- Thanks, man.

155
00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:25,504
Got a new workout, new diet,
new paleo thing I've been doing.

156
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,756
I've heard about that. And it works?

157
00:08:27,923 --> 00:08:29,842
It rips you up. If you see me naked,
it'll blow your mind.

158
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,010
I'd love to.

159
00:08:34,221 --> 00:08:35,264
Kick ass.

160
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:43,605
Really can't believe
we're doing this again this year.

161
00:08:43,772 --> 00:08:45,941
I was done a few years ago,
to be totally honest.

162
00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:47,818
We're like those kids
who won't stop trick-or-treating.

163
00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,903
Eventually, they come to your door,
you're like, "Eh."

164
00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:51,363
"No candy for you."

165
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:52,906
"Pack it in, kid."

166
00:08:53,073 --> 00:08:55,826
- But this is it. This is the last Christmas.
- Last time. Right?

167
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,536
- Is he cool with it?
- Yeah, I think so.

168
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:58,871
He looks happy right now, right?

169
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:01,290
I'm just saying,
we're enabling him at this point.

170
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:03,834
We're not helping him
get over his own problems.

171
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,003
On a psychological level, that's not good.

172
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,212
I've made a decision.

173
00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:09,673
For a Christmas present tonight,
I'm gonna take him under my wing.

174
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,633
I'm gonna help him
and get him out of this rut.

175
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,344
It's a conversation we've been avoiding
for 10 years, actually.

176
00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:14,511
I know.

177
00:09:14,678 --> 00:09:16,180
Just do it easy.

178
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,681
I'm going all in.

179
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,558
- Don't go all in.
- Balls and all.

180
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:28,484
Have fun.

181
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,527
Take good care of my husband, all right?
I like him.

182
00:09:30,694 --> 00:09:31,945
We will.

183
00:09:32,112 --> 00:09:34,281
Hey, Bets, tell Diana I said hello.

184
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:35,574
Yeah, no.

185
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,659
No, no. Merry Christmas.

186
00:09:37,826 --> 00:09:39,161
Bye-bye.

187
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,038
- Congratulations.
- Good to see you.

188
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,415
- Luckiest guy in the Park.
- I sure am. Bye.

189
00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:44,625
Can I talk to you for a second real quick?

190
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:46,627
What? We're not doing gifts now, are we?

191
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:50,714
No, we're doing them tomorrow, but
this one I'm pretty sure you'll want tonight.

192
00:09:50,964 --> 00:09:53,550
- What is it?
- You have been such a rock...

193
00:09:53,717 --> 00:09:55,678
throughout this whole pregnancy.

194
00:09:55,844 --> 00:09:57,346
You're like my Dwayne Johnson.

195
00:09:57,513 --> 00:09:58,514
Thank you.

196
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,808
It's Christmas now,
and we've almost made it...

197
00:10:00,974 --> 00:10:03,102
and you deserve this.
So Merry Christmas.

198
00:10:03,268 --> 00:10:04,353
Is it cologne?

199
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,938
No.

200
00:10:09,149 --> 00:10:11,777
Holy shit!

201
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,071
It's every single drug in the whole world.

202
00:10:14,863 --> 00:10:16,365
Why are you giving this to me?

203
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,367
You've been so focused
on me and the baby...

204
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:20,661
and tonight I think
you should just focus on yourself.

205
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:23,706
Go out there, get fucking wild, you know?

206
00:10:23,872 --> 00:10:26,875
Is this cocaine? I haven't done cocaine
for 11 years, I don't think.

207
00:10:27,042 --> 00:10:28,252
No one has, I don't think.

208
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,129
That's amazing.
Where did you get all this shit?

209
00:10:30,295 --> 00:10:31,922
- Craigslist.
- You got it from Craigslist?

210
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:34,008
I just typed in the search "NYC drugs."

211
00:10:34,174 --> 00:10:35,634
Really resourceful of you.

212
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,429
It's your last Christmas together,
so have fun. Enjoy it.

213
00:10:38,595 --> 00:10:40,681
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah. I love you.

214
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:42,808
This is so great.
I'll have my phone with me.

215
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:46,103
I'll be home pretty early, I think.
Okay. I love you.

216
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:49,857
What?

217
00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:51,942
What the fuck is this?

218
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,694
This is the Red Bull Limousine, fellas.

219
00:10:54,361 --> 00:10:57,698
You are now looking at the face
and body of Red Bull.

220
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,450
Wow! Congratulations, man!

221
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:03,037
Right? Since this is our final Christmas,
I figured we could do it in class.

222
00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:05,414
Seriously, this is what the spirit
of Christmas is all about.

223
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:08,334
A rich athlete finally getting
the corporate limo that he always wanted.

224
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,169
- Exactly!
- I think so.

225
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,004
Let's go, get in.
You gotta see this. Come on.

226
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,672
Cool!

227
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:16,759
Yo, it's the Red Bull Limo, guys!

228
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:18,677
All right.

229
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:19,928
Yo! What's up, everybody?

230
00:11:20,095 --> 00:11:21,221
This your man, C-Rob.

231
00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:22,765
We in the Red Bull Limo.

232
00:11:22,931 --> 00:11:26,518
And we Dom P'in it, we have Cristal in it,
Hennythuggin' it...

233
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:28,645
and we got Red Bull!

234
00:11:28,812 --> 00:11:32,816
I'm capturing this
on my Sony Xperia Ultra phone.

235
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:35,110
No matter what the light,
the picture's right. All right?

236
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:36,987
This your man, Chris Rob, coming at you.

237
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:38,655
What happening? Peace!

238
00:11:38,822 --> 00:11:40,657
Peace!

239
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:42,618
And, Internet.

240
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,287
- His social media game is crazy.
- On point.

241
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:46,538
- Really on point, yeah.
- On point.

242
00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:48,874
Five million people
probably just saw that.

243
00:11:49,416 --> 00:11:50,417
Hey there.

244
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:54,046
Didn't wanna interrupt
while you guys were rolling back there.

245
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,631
Great video, by the way.
I just watched it.

246
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:56,840
That was fast.

247
00:11:57,007 --> 00:12:00,678
My name's Joshua. I'm gonna be your
Red Bull-provided driver for the evening.

248
00:12:00,844 --> 00:12:02,054
First stop: Rockefeller Center, right?

249
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,889
- Great, thank you, Josh.
- Raise partition.

250
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,057
Nice meeting you, Josh.

251
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:07,351
I'm doing the hang-loose thing too much.

252
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,645
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll call you. There we go.

253
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,188
Check out what Betsy gave me.

254
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:13,482
It's a bunch of drugs.
We eat a little 'shrooms...

255
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:17,194
to kinda trip out a little bit,
look at the lights, all the sparkly lights.

256
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:18,362
Let's start with the champagne.

257
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,656
Yeah, sure, yeah. Yeah!

258
00:12:22,282 --> 00:12:23,742
Aim it out the window,
aim it out the window!

259
00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:35,754
- So what's up, E? How's life, man?
- Life is good!

260
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:36,922
- Yeah?
- Yeah, dude.

261
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,425
How's the music going?
Any gigs coming up?

262
00:12:39,591 --> 00:12:41,677
Not gigs, but gigs are overrated, dude.

263
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,470
People are just on their phones
the whole time.

264
00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:44,638
- You know what I mean?
- Totally, yeah.

265
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:45,806
The thing I'm working on now...

266
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,142
you really have to listen to it
start to finish. It's a concept album.

267
00:12:48,308 --> 00:12:49,476
What's the concept?

268
00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:51,979
I'm still conceptualizing
that part of it...

269
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,188
- but it's all about who you know...
- C-Rob, will you sign this?

270
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:54,356
- ...more than anything.
- Wait up, wait up.

271
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:55,691
How's it going? Hey, merry Christmas.

272
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,651
- Photobomb!
- There you go. All right.

273
00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,028
That just happens now?

274
00:12:59,194 --> 00:13:00,696
People love C-Rob.

275
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,948
So how about Diana?
You talk to her?

276
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,241
How's things going with that?

277
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:05,492
Hate to see that one get away, you know?

278
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:07,244
- It's still over.
- It's over. Don't worry about it.

279
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:10,706
But it's okay. It's no one's fault, really.
We just drifted apart.

280
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,125
Look, we're at the tree!
Why don't we talk about that another time?

281
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,169
- What?
- Not now, man.

282
00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:22,885
Gentlemen...

283
00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:27,473
14 years ago to this very night,
a tradition was born.

284
00:13:27,639 --> 00:13:31,268
That year some drunk, fucking asshole
hit my parents with a car.

285
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:34,355
So that Christmas,
I didn't have any family to be with...

286
00:13:34,521 --> 00:13:36,398
but you guys were there for me.

287
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,108
But tonight!

288
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:39,401
Tonight's different.

289
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:42,529
We have mutually decided
to end this tradition.

290
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:43,989
Isaac's about to have a baby.

291
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:47,576
And Chris is just too fucking famous
to hang out with us anymore.

292
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,495
But guys, earlier today...

293
00:13:49,661 --> 00:13:53,499
I witnessed
a real-life Christmas miracle.

294
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,918
- Where the fuck did you get those?
- Holy shit! Are those real?

295
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,294
They are fucking real!

296
00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:58,462
Where did they come from?

297
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,214
It doesn't matter!
It's a fucking Christmas miracle!

298
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,132
You killed somebody for those?

299
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:03,676
No, I stole them.

300
00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:05,552
That's awesome! What a blowout!

301
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:08,681
It is the Nutcracker Ball!

302
00:14:08,847 --> 00:14:10,099
Yes!

303
00:14:10,265 --> 00:14:12,643
So I called the number on these tickets.

304
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,104
They don't give out the address till 10.

305
00:14:15,270 --> 00:14:19,316
So that gives us several hours to hit
as many Christmas traditions as possible!

306
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:20,484
Let's do it.

307
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,653
And it's gonna be the
best fucking night of our lives!

308
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,405
I'm so psyched, man. Awesome.

309
00:14:24,571 --> 00:14:26,740
Maybe it'll be the new
Christmas tradition.

310
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:32,371
I don't know if we're really
replacing this with another tradition.

311
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,456
That was a joke, Isaac.
Give me some credit.

312
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,917
Obviously, that was a joke.
I am totally cool with it.

313
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,377
Obviously, he's joking.

314
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,171
- Definitely.
- Gentlemen, I got the sweaters.

315
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:42,339
This one's for you.

316
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:43,882
- This is for you.
- Nice.

317
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,050
Let's do this!

318
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,927
Let's do it. Hey, where'd he go?

319
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,526
Soup's on!

320
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,736
Hey, Thuwan! How's it going, my man?

321
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,823
Now it's Christmas. It's not Christmas
till we eat egg drop soup.

322
00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:33,117
It brings me back.
Who are you calling right now?

323
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,327
- Calling my man Tommy Owens.
- You're calling Tommy Owens?

324
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,121
- Who's Tommy Owens?
- He's the best player in the league.

325
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:39,581
- Tommy!
- C-Money, what's up, my man?

326
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,458
Merry Christmas.

327
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:43,252
Tell him hi.

328
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:44,753
Hennessy.

329
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,463
We going to the Nutcracker Ball.
I got tickets for my boys.

330
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,215
I got us on the list for the party...

331
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,134
the after-party, the before-party,
every party.

332
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,885
Congrats, baby, you coming up big time.

333
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:54,013
What we do, baby. That's what we do!

334
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:55,305
Tell him to bring some green with him.

335
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,725
C-Money, while I got you on the phone...

336
00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:00,185
I hate to even ask, but you think
maybe you could bring us some weed?

337
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,771
Yeah, I can get weed.
Look who you're talking to, baby.

338
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:05,441
- Come on. It's Chris Money.
- Smoke it up!

339
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:07,776
I'll see you at the Nutcracker Ball.
I'll bring you a half a pound...

340
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,028
and we gonna roll. Much love.

341
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,988
One. Chris love out. Peace.

342
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,533
How much weed you got in that box?

343
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,035
I don't know. Why don't we check?

344
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,369
Check it out, playa.

345
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:22,416
Someone call Snoop D-O-double gezzank,
because I got the reefers.

346
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:23,959
You have one joint?

347
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,879
She doesn't know that much about drugs.
The proportions of this shit is all off.

348
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,630
Dude, we need to get some weed.

349
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,632
Can we just not get derailed here?

350
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,801
This is not about
some famous athlete and his weed.

351
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:35,179
This is about the three of us.
This is our last Christmas together.

352
00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:36,847
It is about a famous athlete and his weed.

353
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:39,933
I've been on this dude's team for six years
and he finally knows who I am.

354
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,226
If I can deliver this weed...

355
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,146
we could smoke with Tommy Owens
and hang with him all night!

356
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,522
I'd love to smoke weed with Tommy Owens.

357
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:47,232
See? He wants to
smoke with Tommy, right?

358
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,650
Okay. Okay.

359
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:51,195
Where do we get some weed from?

360
00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:53,489
We could call Mr. Green.

361
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,741
Why are we outside our high school again?

362
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,285
Because he's a fucking drug-dealer
and he's suspicious...

363
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:01,038
and he doesn't meet you
unless he's met you there before.

364
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,374
So it's either our old high school
or this guy's mom's house.

365
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:04,541
That's not happening.

366
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,835
I know. So it's here.

367
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:09,171
Shit. Is that you?

368
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:11,048
It's not mine.

369
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,467
- No.
- Oh, shit.

370
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,053
That was there before.

371
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,721
Do they even make payphones anymore?

372
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,139
Don't touch it.
People wipe their butts on those.

373
00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:20,683
This is how you gotta talk to him.

374
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:21,892
Don't pick up!

375
00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,435
Hello! 1998 speaking.

376
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:24,812
That's gross.

377
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,608
Yeah, I see you. Okay. Thanks.
He's right there.

378
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,486
Go ahead. Go get the weed.

379
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:33,821
I'm not going. You're going.

380
00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:36,448
- Just get it. Come on, don't be a baby.
- It's your weed!

381
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:37,991
Shit.

382
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:43,997
Is it just me?
He's changed a little bit, right?

383
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:47,626
Yeah, he seems like
he's excited about his fame.

384
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,170
I think it's our job to sort of
just keep him in check.

385
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,298
Sometimes, you think it's easy
to tell your friend something...

386
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,634
and it's actually hard
to tell them that thing...

387
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,052
once you're confronted
with the actual moment...

388
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,387
that you would maybe tell them that thing.

389
00:18:58,554 --> 00:18:59,555
You know what I mean?

390
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,938
Mr. Green! What's up, man?

391
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,732
Good evening.

392
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:11,525
How you doing?
It's good to see you.

393
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,152
I'm glad you open on Christmas.

394
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:15,863
A lot of people need me
on Christmas, you know.

395
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,615
It's a tough holiday.

396
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,159
I know you.

397
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:21,535
Yeah.

398
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,871
You used to sell weed to me and
my friends when we were in high school.

399
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:25,164
Yeah, that's crazy.

400
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,499
So, what do you want?

401
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:30,711
Your best shit, man.
That chronic, that drow, that....

402
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,546
Yeah, yeah. Some of that.

403
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:36,008
It's good to see you kids
still hanging out and smoking up.

404
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,468
Makes me proud.

405
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:40,846
Thanks, man. We're just kind of trying
to keep the dream alive, you know?

406
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,015
But this is not for us.
This is for a good friend of mine.

407
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,143
Tommy Owens. Quarterback.
The Messiah.

408
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,645
You know what?
As far as I'm concerned...

409
00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:50,147
there's only one Messiah.

410
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:53,233
Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

411
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,819
So that name's a little blasphemous.

412
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,529
Yeah.

413
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,539
The Weed of Christmas Present.

414
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:11,627
I'm an athlete, so drug-free body.
Drug-free zone. No smoking.

415
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:14,338
You buying that for somebody
and you're not gonna test it?

416
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,840
That could be oregano.

417
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,718
- Orega-what?
- Oregano.

418
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,108
So....

419
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:37,361
Something special supposed to happen?

420
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,029
It just did.

421
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,323
You're in the present.

422
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,746
Maybe I'm high or something, man.

423
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,998
Or maybe you're in the present.

424
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,670
The Weed of Christmas Present.

425
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:57,798
Well, with that logic, isn't all weed
the weed of Christmas present?

426
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,634
Only on Christmas, kid.

427
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:04,513
Anyway, that'll be a hundred bucks.

428
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,058
All right. I'll get your hundreds.

429
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:11,061
If you guys ain't doing nothing later,
you should stop by this party I'm throwing.

430
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,188
It's a hell of a bash.

431
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,274
You serious?

432
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,192
It's not in my car.

433
00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:18,902
It's a real party.

434
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:23,407
We already got invited to something.
Sorry. But thank you for the invite.

435
00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:26,827
That's no problem.
My feelings aren't hurt. Not really.

436
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,499
Tell Isaac,
"I'll see you in a couple hours."

437
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:33,834
What?

438
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:37,671
Tell Isaac I'll see him in a couple hours.

439
00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:40,299
How did he get so good all of a sudden?

440
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:41,842
I don't know.

441
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,345
Here we go. Here we go.

442
00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:49,600
That shit was the weirdest
fucking experience of my life, dude.

443
00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:52,936
- Really?
- But I got the weed.

444
00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,772
Come on, let's go
tear this fucking karaoke down.

445
00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:57,149
Let them bitches know
the Ice Crew in the building!

446
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,817
Let's do it, baby.

447
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,986
- Did you practice the moves?
- Oh, I've been practicing.

448
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,613
Hey!

449
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:08,035
Happy feet, happy feet.

450
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:13,749
Show them, huh!

451
00:22:44,655 --> 00:22:46,532
Got my prenup.

452
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,624
I think the 'shrooms are kicking in.

453
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,306
Yo, what's up? We're the Ice Crew!

454
00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,142
We just got one thing to say!

455
00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:15,477
Drink some damn Red Bull. Hell, yeah!

456
00:23:20,482 --> 00:23:21,567
It's happening.

457
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,110
- You feel good?
- Yeah.

458
00:23:23,277 --> 00:23:25,112
Ethan, it's Diana!

459
00:23:25,279 --> 00:23:26,697
- Hi.
- What's up?

460
00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:29,324
Chris, I wanna say hi to you,
but you're surrounded by fans!

461
00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:31,493
I know. It's crazy! Say hey to Ethan!

462
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:32,745
He looks really great!

463
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:35,622
Let's go outside and Instagram.
My social media game is on point!

464
00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:37,666
- That guy's really famous now.
- Yeah.

465
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:38,917
Super famous.

466
00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:40,878
So good seeing you guys!

467
00:23:41,337 --> 00:23:43,172
Merry Christmas.
What are you guys doing here?

468
00:23:43,339 --> 00:23:45,966
It's the only karaoke place
that's open on Christmas.

469
00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:47,801
Yeah, it's our tradition.

470
00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:49,636
I should've remembered
that you guys come here.

471
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:51,055
But Run-DMC,
I got to see it! Finally.

472
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:52,765
- You liked it?
- It was awesome.

473
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,308
This is what you guys missed.

474
00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:55,642
She did Miley Cyrus.

475
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:57,728
She destroyed <i>Wrecking Ball.</i>
It was amazing.

476
00:23:57,895 --> 00:23:59,772
- You still like that song.
- Everybody does.

477
00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:03,233
You can cry to it. You can run to it.
You can party to it.

478
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,153
- Timeless!
- What are you guys doing?

479
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,364
We're having a really fun night, actually.

480
00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:10,449
We're kind of going not too hard,
but pretty hard.

481
00:24:10,616 --> 00:24:11,742
We're kind of just....

482
00:24:11,909 --> 00:24:13,160
It's our last night doing the Christmas!

483
00:24:13,327 --> 00:24:16,789
- End of an era.
- Last year.

484
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:19,041
But it's been really fun, though.

485
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:20,959
Of course.
Betsy's giving birth in a month.

486
00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:22,920
She's having a baby, yeah.

487
00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:24,505
We're gonna miss her at the office.

488
00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:25,923
But she said that you've been
doing a very good job.

489
00:24:26,090 --> 00:24:27,633
That you're so prepared.

490
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,803
You've read every single book
on being a dad since books were created.

491
00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:32,846
I would be losing my shit right now.

492
00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:35,182
That you're prepared,
like over-prepared.

493
00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:36,642
He's solid. He's got the stats.

494
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:39,103
A lot of men in your position
fucking freak out.

495
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:40,896
- They just leave.
- And they take off.

496
00:24:41,063 --> 00:24:44,024
- It's an epidemic.
- It's true. Are you guys....

497
00:24:44,191 --> 00:24:46,777
What the fuck! Are you guys okay?
Are you okay?

498
00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:50,072
These lights in here
fucking with you guys? Like a lot.

499
00:24:50,239 --> 00:24:51,281
Not really.

500
00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:53,575
I think moving around maybe
from the dancing.

501
00:24:53,742 --> 00:24:56,495
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna call Betsy. I'll be right back.

502
00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:59,081
It's good to see you. I'll be....

503
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:00,624
Give her a call.

504
00:25:02,126 --> 00:25:03,669
You guys have a nice connection.

505
00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:06,255
Yeah, he's a sweetheart.

506
00:25:08,215 --> 00:25:10,426
- I'm gonna go to the bar, get more to drink.
- No, no, no!

507
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:12,302
- Nice to see you.
- Merry Christmas.

508
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:13,554
You look good.

509
00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:16,974
Hi.

510
00:25:17,141 --> 00:25:18,517
Hi.

511
00:25:24,273 --> 00:25:25,441
Okay.

512
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:26,984
Come on.

513
00:25:27,151 --> 00:25:29,194
The 'shrooms are turning.
You got a big night ahead of you.

514
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:30,654
Let's get something else going here.

515
00:25:30,821 --> 00:25:32,781
Cocaine. That'll straighten me out.

516
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,576
Get in my brain. Make me feel different.

517
00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:36,785
Yeah.

518
00:25:41,165 --> 00:25:43,917
What's up, Messiah?
How you doing, White Jesus?

519
00:25:44,585 --> 00:25:46,420
Yo, check it out. It's C-Rob, man.

520
00:25:46,587 --> 00:25:49,631
So everything's good. I got you.

521
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:52,718
I got the shit. I got the weed.
I got the smoke.

522
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:56,347
You know what? I'm tripping.
I'mma just text you, all right?

523
00:25:56,513 --> 00:25:59,183
What happened to peace?
Peace. C-Rob out.

524
00:25:59,350 --> 00:26:02,144
Chris motherfucking Roberts!

525
00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:04,813
Well, I'm not Julia Roberts.

526
00:26:04,980 --> 00:26:06,774
But you are a pretty woman.

527
00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:08,650
Oh, shit!

528
00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:10,694
Dude, I am such a fan.

529
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:12,154
Meeting you here tonight...

530
00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:14,948
this is enough to make Christmas
tolerable for me.

531
00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:17,034
You don't like Christmas?

532
00:26:17,201 --> 00:26:19,661
No. I fucking hate Christmas.

533
00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:22,748
Sorry to be like a Grinch. You're into it.

534
00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:24,958
This is amazing.

535
00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:27,461
As much as I hate Christmas,
that's how much I love you.

536
00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:31,256
Sorry. I'm being too much.

537
00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,634
I'm jizzing all over you.
I'm getting, like, jizzy. Sorry.

538
00:26:33,801 --> 00:26:36,303
No, no, no. Jizz all over me.
I like that shit.

539
00:26:36,470 --> 00:26:38,806
You probably wanna
go back to your friends.

540
00:26:38,972 --> 00:26:40,474
Fuck my friends.

541
00:26:40,641 --> 00:26:42,559
Friends come and go...

542
00:26:42,726 --> 00:26:44,436
but fans, that's forever.

543
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:46,772
- You're naughty.
- I'm very naughty.

544
00:26:46,939 --> 00:26:50,401
I'm gonna teach you a Christmas lesson,
you naughty boy.

545
00:26:50,901 --> 00:26:52,027
Okay.

546
00:26:53,779 --> 00:26:55,781
The truth will set you free.

547
00:26:58,158 --> 00:26:59,785
Hey, yo.

548
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,955
This is a message for future Isaac...

549
00:27:03,122 --> 00:27:05,165
from current Isaac.

550
00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:07,751
And I have to tell you to listen to me...

551
00:27:07,918 --> 00:27:09,461
because right now I have clarity.

552
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,797
You should not be having
this fucking baby.

553
00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:13,007
This baby's a mistake.

554
00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,592
The baby will ruin your life.
You'll ruin the baby's life!

555
00:27:15,759 --> 00:27:17,678
And then the baby
will fucking murder people!

556
00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:21,181
I don't know what you do at this point,
but get rid of this fucking baby!

557
00:27:21,348 --> 00:27:23,475
Put it in a bag and leave it somewhere!

558
00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:26,645
Put it in a basket
and push it down a fucking river!

559
00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:27,980
Fuck you, baby!

560
00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:30,524
Fuck your baby-fucking little arms...

561
00:27:30,691 --> 00:27:32,818
and your fucking chubby little
baby-fucking legs!

562
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:36,113
Fuck you, baby! Fuck you! Cunt!

563
00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:40,075
Okay.

564
00:27:41,952 --> 00:27:43,078
Fuck.

565
00:27:46,123 --> 00:27:48,000
Have some fun! Yeah!

566
00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:49,293
Let's party!

567
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:57,634
- Isaac?
- Fuck! Yeah!

568
00:27:57,801 --> 00:27:59,386
Hi, Sarah! Whaddup?

569
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:00,763
- How's it going?
- All right.

570
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:01,930
Good. Cool.

571
00:28:02,097 --> 00:28:03,390
What's going on? You good?

572
00:28:03,557 --> 00:28:04,558
You're so sweaty.

573
00:28:04,725 --> 00:28:06,268
It's hot in here. I run hot.

574
00:28:06,435 --> 00:28:07,561
We have this tradition
where we wear sweaters.

575
00:28:07,728 --> 00:28:08,854
I don't always wear a sweater, obviously.

576
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:11,190
When I'm inside I'd normally take it off.
I think it would hurt my friends' feelings.

577
00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:13,442
You're talking so fast,
you sound like an auctioneer.

578
00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:14,777
That's funny. Sold!

579
00:28:15,903 --> 00:28:17,988
- That was kind of scary.
- Sorry. I don't mean to scare you.

580
00:28:18,155 --> 00:28:20,491
- It's like, "Sold!"
- Oh, my God!

581
00:28:21,241 --> 00:28:22,534
You shouldn't have said it.
Now it's all I can think about.

582
00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,203
- You want a drink?
- Sure!

583
00:28:24,370 --> 00:28:26,121
Let's have a drink.
I'll be right back.

584
00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:27,289
Thanks, Isaac.

585
00:28:31,085 --> 00:28:32,586
Betsy said you've been asking about me.

586
00:28:32,753 --> 00:28:35,214
- That's a lie.
- That's a lie.

587
00:28:35,381 --> 00:28:39,468
Betsy would never in a billion years
say anything even remotely like that.

588
00:28:39,635 --> 00:28:41,261
How's your family?

589
00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:43,430
You're asking about my family.

590
00:28:44,098 --> 00:28:46,684
Sorry, I can't believe it.
Who are you?

591
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:47,976
I deserve that.

592
00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:50,521
My family, thank you for asking, is fine.

593
00:28:50,688 --> 00:28:53,107
You usually stay with them
on Christmas Eve, no?

594
00:28:53,273 --> 00:28:56,485
Yeah, I'm staying with them,
but I'm going to this thing with Sarah.

595
00:28:56,652 --> 00:28:57,903
What is it?

596
00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:03,367
Okay, she's dating this guy,
and he got us into this party.

597
00:29:03,534 --> 00:29:05,369
And I know you've
always wanted to go to it....

598
00:29:05,536 --> 00:29:07,037
Shit. Are you going
to the Nutcracker Ball?

599
00:29:07,204 --> 00:29:08,455
Yeah. I'm sorry.

600
00:29:08,622 --> 00:29:09,623
We're going too.

601
00:29:09,790 --> 00:29:11,166
- You are?
- Isn't that crazy?

602
00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:13,085
I'm happy for you. Your last Christmas...

603
00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:15,337
and you get to go to the big dumb party
you've always wanted to go to.

604
00:29:15,504 --> 00:29:16,630
You bringing anyone?

605
00:29:16,797 --> 00:29:18,340
To the dumb party?

606
00:29:18,507 --> 00:29:20,926
- Any guys?
- Me?

607
00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:23,887
Yeah, I'm bringing these two guys...

608
00:29:24,054 --> 00:29:26,515
that I'm kind of dating.

609
00:29:26,682 --> 00:29:28,142
With really huge dicks.

610
00:29:28,308 --> 00:29:33,063
Who've got enormous,
almost novelty-sized dicks.

611
00:29:33,230 --> 00:29:35,441
I've been seeing a girl
with a huge vagina.

612
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:36,734
Have you?

613
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:38,527
I don't know if it really
has the same impact.

614
00:29:38,694 --> 00:29:41,280
I just hope that this
nice young lady's vagina...

615
00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:43,282
is not half as big as mine.

616
00:29:43,449 --> 00:29:46,368
- Your vagina, I mean....
- The biggest! I know.

617
00:29:46,535 --> 00:29:49,246
- Here you go.
- Thank you so much. Appreciate that.

618
00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:51,123
- It's on your tab.
- Cool.

619
00:30:02,926 --> 00:30:04,178
Cheers!

620
00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:05,679
This is so much fun!

621
00:30:07,514 --> 00:30:08,515
Good beer.

622
00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:10,601
They say beer mellows you out a bit,
which is nice.

623
00:30:10,768 --> 00:30:13,145
This is kind of cool-tasting.
Tastes like pennies or something.

624
00:30:13,312 --> 00:30:14,897
- Weird. It has a coppery flavor?
- Yeah.

625
00:30:15,064 --> 00:30:16,315
Bizarre. Maybe it's the vodka?

626
00:30:16,482 --> 00:30:18,400
You know what?
I think they gave you a Crantini.

627
00:30:18,567 --> 00:30:20,819
You ever think maybe they're all
part of the same Tini family?

628
00:30:20,986 --> 00:30:22,071
Martini, Crantini.

629
00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:24,448
- It's just a funny idea, I thought.
- I guess it's funny.

630
00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:29,161
Isaac. You have a bloody nose.

631
00:30:29,328 --> 00:30:31,246
- I what?
- Your nose is bleeding.

632
00:30:31,413 --> 00:30:32,498
My nose is bleeding?

633
00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:35,584
- Do you not feel that?
- Oh, no!

634
00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:37,419
It's fucked. There's a lot of blood.

635
00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:40,130
No, my nose is very tingly right now. And I
actually don't feel much. That's so weird.

636
00:30:40,297 --> 00:30:41,590
Holy fuck!

637
00:30:41,757 --> 00:30:43,175
What?

638
00:30:43,342 --> 00:30:44,593
Did you bleed in my drink?

639
00:30:45,177 --> 00:30:46,553
No.

640
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,681
You fucking bled in my drink, Isaac!

641
00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:50,057
I'm gonna come clean.

642
00:30:50,224 --> 00:30:52,476
I'm on a lot of cocaine right now.
I think that's what made my nose bleed.

643
00:30:52,643 --> 00:30:53,769
You're on fucking cocaine?

644
00:30:53,936 --> 00:30:55,479
- Did you drink a lot of it?
- Kind of!

645
00:30:55,646 --> 00:30:57,106
- Is it that gross?
- It's mega-gross.

646
00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:58,357
I didn't do it on purpose.

647
00:30:58,524 --> 00:31:00,943
You're a totally fucking fucked-up person.
You should not be a father. Goodbye!

648
00:31:01,110 --> 00:31:02,319
Fuck you!

649
00:31:02,486 --> 00:31:03,570
Fuck you, Isaac!

650
00:31:03,737 --> 00:31:04,738
I'm sorry. Fuck you!

651
00:31:04,905 --> 00:31:06,198
No, fuck you!

652
00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:09,076
Piss off! People are fucking in here!

653
00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:12,955
Zero, 11!

654
00:31:14,498 --> 00:31:16,125
Now, take a dump.

655
00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:17,918
What?

656
00:31:18,419 --> 00:31:20,921
Hey, guys! Sorry to interrupt.
Hey, Ethan.

657
00:31:21,088 --> 00:31:22,965
We need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm losing my shit right now.

658
00:31:23,132 --> 00:31:24,133
What happened?

659
00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:25,718
Please. I wanna go right now.

660
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,928
- I'm right behind you.
- Thank you.

661
00:31:28,095 --> 00:31:29,388
- Sorry.
- I'm sorry.

662
00:31:29,722 --> 00:31:30,764
Yikes.

663
00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:34,268
I guess that's my cue.

664
00:31:34,435 --> 00:31:36,520
- Tell her I'm sorry.
- You don't have to be sorry.

665
00:31:36,687 --> 00:31:38,188
I guess I'll see you later.

666
00:31:38,355 --> 00:31:40,357
Okay. Hey, hey, hey.

667
00:31:40,524 --> 00:31:41,984
This is....

668
00:31:48,365 --> 00:31:50,659
Come on, man.

669
00:32:00,586 --> 00:32:02,129
- Ethan!
- Have you seen Isaac?

670
00:32:02,296 --> 00:32:05,424
Forget Isaac. I just fame-fucked
that hipster chick in the bathroom.

671
00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:07,343
- So that's her?
- Hell, yeah.

672
00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:10,262
Can we go?

673
00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:11,555
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine! Let's go.

674
00:32:11,722 --> 00:32:12,890
It's after 10. We can call the
party number now.

675
00:32:13,057 --> 00:32:14,558
Let's call! Let's call!

676
00:32:14,725 --> 00:32:16,435
I'll get this address.

677
00:32:16,602 --> 00:32:18,562
This better fucking work.

678
00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:22,066
<i>If you want your Christmas merry...</i>

679
00:32:22,232 --> 00:32:25,277
<i>go to the corner of Grand and Berry.</i>

680
00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:26,445
Okay.

681
00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:28,655
Grand and Berry, please!

682
00:32:29,740 --> 00:32:33,535
Listen, listen. Diana is also going
to the Nutcracker Ball.

683
00:32:34,161 --> 00:32:36,580
How crazy is that, right?

684
00:32:36,747 --> 00:32:37,748
She's cool. I miss her.

685
00:32:37,915 --> 00:32:39,541
Yeah, you shouldn't have let her go, dude.

686
00:32:39,708 --> 00:32:42,252
You should totally get her back, bro.
My mom's named Diana.

687
00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:44,129
Yeah, thanks.
I didn't let her go.

688
00:32:44,296 --> 00:32:46,924
- She left me.
- You didn't wanna meet her parents...

689
00:32:47,091 --> 00:32:50,094
and you never did, and you just kept
making excuses for two years.

690
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:52,596
She made the whole relationship
about the one thing I didn't wanna do.

691
00:32:52,763 --> 00:32:54,431
Dude, you fucked up.
Isaac, tell him, he fucked up.

692
00:32:54,932 --> 00:32:56,266
- You fucked up, man.
- See?

693
00:32:56,433 --> 00:32:58,519
Hey, Isaac. You okay?

694
00:32:59,269 --> 00:33:00,979
No, I'm not.

695
00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:04,733
I think the cocaine and the mushrooms
are reacting poorly.

696
00:33:04,900 --> 00:33:07,236
And now I think
I just got to balance it out.

697
00:33:07,403 --> 00:33:08,821
I got to make it
that I'm more on mushrooms...

698
00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:10,197
because I was having fun on mushrooms.

699
00:33:10,364 --> 00:33:11,949
- I have a plan.
- Chill out. Have a Red Bull.

700
00:33:12,116 --> 00:33:14,326
You could also just
stop doing drugs right now.

701
00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:16,870
Like, much more mushrooms.

702
00:33:17,037 --> 00:33:19,039
- Are you gonna be cool at this party?
- Cool as fuck, G.

703
00:33:19,206 --> 00:33:20,791
No, you're not cool, G.

704
00:33:20,958 --> 00:33:23,043
You look insane.
Only your right eye is working.

705
00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:25,170
There's gonna be a lot of
famous people at this party...

706
00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:26,672
and I don't want you to fuck it up.

707
00:33:26,839 --> 00:33:28,090
You walk in there
looking like a shit show....

708
00:33:28,257 --> 00:33:29,383
Do I look weird now?

709
00:33:29,550 --> 00:33:31,552
Yes! You look weird!

710
00:33:31,719 --> 00:33:33,429
Still weird.

711
00:33:34,054 --> 00:33:35,055
Weirder!

712
00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:36,765
- He looks fine.
- No, you don't!

713
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:39,018
You need to fucking check yourself,
before....

714
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,186
Before...

715
00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:43,105
I wreck myself?

716
00:33:43,647 --> 00:33:45,315
- Is that what you're saying?
- Yes.

717
00:33:45,482 --> 00:33:47,443
Chickity-check myself,
before I wrickity-wreck myself?

718
00:33:47,609 --> 00:33:49,111
How does that make someone feel?

719
00:33:49,278 --> 00:33:50,988
To be told
that they might wreck themselves.

720
00:33:51,155 --> 00:33:52,156
You're not gonna wreck yourself.

721
00:33:52,322 --> 00:33:55,075
You made him feel bad.
Why don't you just leave him alone?

722
00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:57,244
- Look, he's not right, dude.
- Gonna mellow out.

723
00:33:57,411 --> 00:33:59,163
Why don't you have some weed
and mellow out.

724
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,583
- You got the weed?
- No.

725
00:34:03,292 --> 00:34:05,169
- You got the weed, dude?
- No.

726
00:34:05,336 --> 00:34:07,296
She stole my fucking weed.

727
00:34:07,921 --> 00:34:10,591
She was rummaging through my jacket
when I was hitting her from the back.

728
00:34:10,758 --> 00:34:12,259
I knew it! She fucking took my weed!

729
00:34:12,426 --> 00:34:13,719
That serves you right.

730
00:34:13,886 --> 00:34:16,347
Dude, it's not funny!
She stole my fucking weed!

731
00:34:16,513 --> 00:34:19,767
The last place I wanna be is
outside my mom's house right now.

732
00:34:20,476 --> 00:34:23,437
School's far. Your mom lives close.

733
00:34:23,604 --> 00:34:25,314
How long did Mr. Green say
he would be here in?

734
00:34:25,481 --> 00:34:26,690
Half hour.

735
00:34:26,857 --> 00:34:28,609
That's fine. Let's just go inside
and wait. I'm freezing.

736
00:34:28,776 --> 00:34:30,986
No, no, no. We're not going inside.
My mom's probably asleep.

737
00:34:31,153 --> 00:34:33,697
A half hour for Mr. Green could be like
two hours of standing here.

738
00:34:33,864 --> 00:34:36,825
We could be dead by then.
We could literally die by then.

739
00:34:36,992 --> 00:34:40,079
Look, my mom doesn't know I'm here.
So let it go. We're not going upstairs.

740
00:34:40,245 --> 00:34:42,539
- Really? You didn't tell her?
- No.

741
00:34:42,873 --> 00:34:45,292
I told her I was in Philly
and I got a suite down at the Gansevoort.

742
00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:47,711
I just think your mom would be happy
to see you on Christmas.

743
00:34:48,128 --> 00:34:50,631
I'm not saying she wouldn't be happy
to see me, all right?

744
00:34:50,798 --> 00:34:52,883
There's just a lot you don't understand.

745
00:34:53,050 --> 00:34:55,678
All she wants to do is parade me around
and show me off to people.

746
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:57,721
Last time I was here,
she made me go to church with her...

747
00:34:57,888 --> 00:35:00,099
and sign autographs, kiss babies,
tell people all my stats...

748
00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:02,393
and what I did last Sunday.
It's too much.

749
00:35:02,559 --> 00:35:03,811
- I have a question.
- What?

750
00:35:03,977 --> 00:35:06,105
Does your mother still have a Nintendo 64?

751
00:35:06,814 --> 00:35:08,607
Probably. She never
throws my stuff away. Why?

752
00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:10,984
Right. So that's why
you don't wanna go upstairs...

753
00:35:11,151 --> 00:35:12,945
because you're gonna lose
at "GoldenEye."

754
00:35:13,529 --> 00:35:14,863
- "GoldenEye."
- "GoldenEye."

755
00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:17,491
Okay. Let's do it. One game.

756
00:35:19,076 --> 00:35:20,452
Nobody touch nothing.

757
00:35:20,619 --> 00:35:22,705
But I love touching things.

758
00:35:26,709 --> 00:35:28,168
All right, go, go, go.

759
00:35:34,383 --> 00:35:37,011
- Dude, did you die and not tell us?
- Shut up.

760
00:35:37,177 --> 00:35:38,303
It's amazing.

761
00:35:38,470 --> 00:35:40,472
I was there when you won this.
You must be so proud.

762
00:35:40,639 --> 00:35:42,391
Shut up and go.

763
00:35:42,558 --> 00:35:44,268
Your bedroom.

764
00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:46,186
Dude.

765
00:35:46,353 --> 00:35:47,771
- Ethan.
- What?

766
00:35:47,938 --> 00:35:49,023
I found you.

767
00:35:49,189 --> 00:35:50,899
- You found me?
- Check you out.

768
00:35:51,066 --> 00:35:53,110
Ethan Miller

769
00:35:55,029 --> 00:35:56,447
Look at you, man.

770
00:35:58,907 --> 00:36:02,619
You remember when we all first met at
the party? Whose fucking party was that?

771
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:04,496
- Jocelyn Larue.
- Jocelyn Larue.

772
00:36:04,663 --> 00:36:05,748
Yeah, that's right.

773
00:36:05,914 --> 00:36:08,375
Remember the cops came?
We had to hide in the bathroom.

774
00:36:08,542 --> 00:36:10,127
For three hours.

775
00:36:10,294 --> 00:36:12,755
I was afraid we were gonna get caught,
because you were so fucking loud.

776
00:36:12,921 --> 00:36:15,215
I remember you wore that
Bob Marley tie-dye T-shirt...

777
00:36:15,382 --> 00:36:16,592
and I asked you if you smoked weed?

778
00:36:16,759 --> 00:36:19,094
I didn't even smoke weed.
I just liked Bob Marley and tie-dye.

779
00:36:19,261 --> 00:36:21,096
I didn't get that was the vibe
I was putting out there.

780
00:36:21,263 --> 00:36:23,640
You could have showed up
with purple hair and a cloak.

781
00:36:23,807 --> 00:36:25,267
That was my warlock phase.

782
00:36:25,434 --> 00:36:27,227
- That was a dope phase.
- Hell, yeah.

783
00:36:27,394 --> 00:36:31,023
I'm surprised you even talked to us, Chris.
When I look back, I remember thinking:

784
00:36:31,190 --> 00:36:33,275
"This guy's a jock.

785
00:36:33,442 --> 00:36:36,695
And he's talking to a warlock
and a pretend pot-head."

786
00:36:36,862 --> 00:36:37,946
True.

787
00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:41,325
If it wasn't for y'all, I would have
never made it through that school.

788
00:36:41,492 --> 00:36:42,868
- Shit. Wait, pause it.
- No, no pause.

789
00:36:43,035 --> 00:36:45,079
The phone's buzzing.
You have to pause it.

790
00:36:45,245 --> 00:36:46,663
- I'm buying you weed!
- Just keep it down!

791
00:36:46,830 --> 00:36:49,208
Pause the fucking game.
If you shoot me right now, you forfeit.

792
00:36:49,375 --> 00:36:50,959
Oh, my God, if my mom wakes up.

793
00:36:51,418 --> 00:36:52,753
Yeah, it's him. Mr. Green's here.

794
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:54,880
I'm never getting in that dude's car again.
He freaked me out.

795
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:58,175
I'll go.

796
00:36:58,342 --> 00:36:59,718
Can you even walk?

797
00:37:01,345 --> 00:37:02,971
I can fly.

798
00:37:08,977 --> 00:37:10,979
Five-oh, bro. You're busted.

799
00:37:11,146 --> 00:37:13,065
- Are you fucking kidding me right now?
- Yeah, I'm just kidding.

800
00:37:13,232 --> 00:37:14,858
Holy shit, dude.

801
00:37:15,025 --> 00:37:16,485
Don't do that.

802
00:37:16,652 --> 00:37:19,988
Oh, man. Hey, good seeing you, dude.
Long time.

803
00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:21,573
It has been a long time.

804
00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:24,076
- Been a long time, yeah.
- I remember you.

805
00:37:24,660 --> 00:37:27,746
And you know I'm proud
of what you've become.

806
00:37:28,122 --> 00:37:29,331
Husband, lawyer...

807
00:37:29,498 --> 00:37:32,543
soon-to-be father.
That's really impressive.

808
00:37:32,710 --> 00:37:34,795
Me, I don't have time for kids.

809
00:37:35,462 --> 00:37:37,214
You're all my children.

810
00:37:38,382 --> 00:37:40,718
You ever think of me as a father figure?

811
00:37:41,093 --> 00:37:42,845
No.

812
00:37:43,012 --> 00:37:45,723
Put your tiny hand in mine.

813
00:37:47,683 --> 00:37:48,684
Yeah.

814
00:37:48,851 --> 00:37:50,060
Rough night?

815
00:37:50,227 --> 00:37:53,105
Little bit. Could you tell?
Am I wearing it on my sleeve?

816
00:37:53,272 --> 00:37:54,440
I did a lot of drugs.

817
00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:57,735
Mushrooms. Caps, too many caps.
Ate a lot of the caps.

818
00:37:57,901 --> 00:38:00,863
And I just think it kind of
made me freak out a little bit.

819
00:38:01,030 --> 00:38:05,034
And basically, I'm kind of just having
a hard time finding my place in all this.

820
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,369
Relax.

821
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:10,205
What's happening right now?

822
00:38:10,831 --> 00:38:13,042
Just looking into your soul, man.

823
00:38:14,877 --> 00:38:16,045
What are you seeing?

824
00:38:19,506 --> 00:38:21,216
You need a nice mellow indica.

825
00:38:21,383 --> 00:38:23,427
I got a great north Cali bud...

826
00:38:23,594 --> 00:38:26,096
with a soothing body high...

827
00:38:26,263 --> 00:38:29,350
and surprisingly accurate
visions of the future.

828
00:38:30,476 --> 00:38:32,728
Yeah, sure. Whatever you got, bro.

829
00:38:33,103 --> 00:38:36,440
Yeah. It's definitely a good time.

830
00:38:36,857 --> 00:38:38,275
Unless...

831
00:38:38,692 --> 00:38:42,237
you're dealing with some shit
you can't come to terms with.

832
00:38:43,614 --> 00:38:46,241
No! That's not me!
That's a different guy.

833
00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:50,829
I think all my issues are drug-related,
and my emotional state is completely...

834
00:38:50,996 --> 00:38:53,415
cool, bro.

835
00:38:54,792 --> 00:38:57,795
Just a little shot of this.
See if you like it.

836
00:39:02,132 --> 00:39:03,175
Come on.

837
00:39:03,342 --> 00:39:08,430
I'm good. I think I'll just ride the wave,
my main man.

838
00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:11,266
I put my hands on you.

839
00:39:11,433 --> 00:39:13,268
Take it.

840
00:39:14,186 --> 00:39:15,521
Just not too hard.

841
00:39:18,023 --> 00:39:19,733
Not too hard.

842
00:39:22,653 --> 00:39:24,279
Where are we?

843
00:39:24,905 --> 00:39:26,657
A strip club.

844
00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:28,909
Eighteen years in the future.

845
00:39:29,076 --> 00:39:31,328
- Is that my wife?
- Yeah.

846
00:39:31,495 --> 00:39:33,539
You should probably talk to her.

847
00:39:33,706 --> 00:39:36,583
I'm gonna get a beer, maybe a dance.

848
00:39:36,750 --> 00:39:38,544
Cool.

849
00:39:38,711 --> 00:39:39,795
Hi.

850
00:39:39,962 --> 00:39:41,755
Sit down. The show's about to start.

851
00:39:41,922 --> 00:39:42,923
Okay.

852
00:39:43,090 --> 00:39:45,968
Okay, fellas, let's hear it for Sierra!

853
00:39:47,553 --> 00:39:48,887
Isn't she amazing?

854
00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,097
Who is that?

855
00:39:50,264 --> 00:39:52,141
It's our beautiful baby girl.

856
00:39:52,307 --> 00:39:54,935
What the fuck?

857
00:39:55,769 --> 00:39:57,479
Pop it, girl! Pop that P!

858
00:39:57,646 --> 00:39:59,273
Pop it! Pop it!

859
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,650
You hear me, young lady?
Pop your pussy!

860
00:40:01,817 --> 00:40:03,944
It's okay, sweetie!
You don't have to pop your pussy!

861
00:40:04,111 --> 00:40:07,406
You read all those books
and you didn't learn shit!

862
00:40:07,573 --> 00:40:09,825
You really shit the bed as a dad!

863
00:40:11,285 --> 00:40:14,121
Here you go. Drip, drop. Drip, drop.

864
00:40:15,998 --> 00:40:16,999
I know.

865
00:40:17,166 --> 00:40:18,792
Look at my finger. Look at my finger.

866
00:40:18,959 --> 00:40:21,587
You need to give me a hundred bucks
and get the fuck out of my car right now.

867
00:40:21,754 --> 00:40:23,672
Okay! Here!

868
00:40:24,048 --> 00:40:25,215
Get out.

869
00:40:55,454 --> 00:40:56,455
What are you doing?

870
00:40:56,622 --> 00:40:58,791
I don't know what's happening.
Let's go. Let's just bail.

871
00:40:58,957 --> 00:41:00,250
Turn your phone off.
You're gonna wake her up.

872
00:41:00,417 --> 00:41:01,794
I don't know what's happening.
I don't know this song.

873
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:03,754
- Turn it off.
- Hello?

874
00:41:03,921 --> 00:41:05,339
Hello?

875
00:41:06,048 --> 00:41:08,717
Hey, Ma. It's Chrissy-poo!

876
00:41:08,884 --> 00:41:11,387
Oh, my God! Chris!

877
00:41:11,553 --> 00:41:12,596
Hey!

878
00:41:12,763 --> 00:41:15,224
Oh, my God! Ethan!

879
00:41:17,101 --> 00:41:18,686
What are you guys doing?

880
00:41:18,852 --> 00:41:20,938
- Merry Christmas!
- Surprise!

881
00:41:21,105 --> 00:41:22,606
This is....

882
00:41:23,190 --> 00:41:25,234
Are you hungry?
I can heat up some food.

883
00:41:25,401 --> 00:41:27,403
- Yeah!
- No, no, no.

884
00:41:27,569 --> 00:41:29,655
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

885
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:31,281
Sweetheart.

886
00:41:31,448 --> 00:41:34,243
- Oh, you smell like weed.
- No.

887
00:41:35,327 --> 00:41:37,162
More meatloaf, Isaac?

888
00:41:37,913 --> 00:41:39,498
No, I'm okay.

889
00:41:39,665 --> 00:41:42,167
Could I perhaps
have some more chardonnay...

890
00:41:42,334 --> 00:41:44,420
to wash down my medication, please?

891
00:41:44,878 --> 00:41:46,797
Of course.

892
00:41:52,845 --> 00:41:53,846
Thank you.

893
00:41:55,472 --> 00:41:57,057
So, Ethan, what's going on with you?

894
00:41:58,475 --> 00:42:01,061
Not a lot. Just feeling good.

895
00:42:01,228 --> 00:42:02,896
You got somebody special in your life?

896
00:42:03,063 --> 00:42:04,231
No.

897
00:42:04,398 --> 00:42:07,443
There was a young lady that he
used to date that he ran into today...

898
00:42:07,818 --> 00:42:10,237
that I thought was pretty damn awesome.

899
00:42:10,404 --> 00:42:12,614
- Yeah? What happened?
- It's a long story.

900
00:42:12,781 --> 00:42:15,367
Not that long. She wanted to get serious,
but he wouldn't meet her parents.

901
00:42:16,035 --> 00:42:17,286
She wanted to move in...

902
00:42:17,453 --> 00:42:20,122
and you said you weren't
in the right head place for her to move in.

903
00:42:20,289 --> 00:42:21,582
That's some straight-up bullshit.

904
00:42:21,749 --> 00:42:22,958
Give me some, Ma.

905
00:42:23,125 --> 00:42:24,501
Okay, okay, okay.

906
00:42:24,668 --> 00:42:26,420
What, are you guys ganging up on me now?

907
00:42:26,587 --> 00:42:27,671
You like this woman?

908
00:42:27,838 --> 00:42:29,089
Yeah, she's awesome...

909
00:42:29,256 --> 00:42:32,134
but there's a whole history here
that he's brushing over.

910
00:42:32,301 --> 00:42:33,635
You want her back?

911
00:42:34,219 --> 00:42:36,013
Yeah. I do.

912
00:42:36,180 --> 00:42:38,599
If you want this woman,
you're gonna have to work for her.

913
00:42:38,766 --> 00:42:42,603
But you happen to be very lucky,
because it's Christmas.

914
00:42:42,770 --> 00:42:45,189
And there's magic in the air at Christmas.

915
00:42:45,356 --> 00:42:48,025
People's hearts are open.
People want to forgive.

916
00:42:48,442 --> 00:42:50,486
People want love.

917
00:42:50,652 --> 00:42:52,488
I'd take advantage of that shit.

918
00:42:52,654 --> 00:42:56,158
I'd find the opportunity,
and I would seize it.

919
00:42:56,575 --> 00:42:58,285
Thank you, Mrs. Roberts.

920
00:42:58,452 --> 00:43:00,037
I almost forgot, I'm gonna
need some more headshots.

921
00:43:00,204 --> 00:43:02,998
James slide to reply

922
00:43:03,165 --> 00:43:05,793
<i>Huh.
A dick from someone named James?</i>

923
00:43:05,959 --> 00:43:08,087
<i>His name is on my phone,
I must know him. Who is he?</i>

924
00:43:08,253 --> 00:43:09,463
James You like it?

925
00:43:09,630 --> 00:43:11,548
<i>Do I like it? What does that mean?</i>

926
00:43:11,715 --> 00:43:15,511
<i>Oh, man. Maybe it's
James McFoley from work.</i>

927
00:43:17,388 --> 00:43:18,389
<i>Holy shit.</i>

928
00:43:20,474 --> 00:43:22,142
<i>This guy's a grower and a shower.</i>

929
00:43:22,309 --> 00:43:23,811
James Do you like it more now?

930
00:43:23,977 --> 00:43:26,188
<i>Do I like it more now? Jesus.
I mean, it's a dope dick.</i>

931
00:43:26,355 --> 00:43:27,564
Dope dick homey.

932
00:43:28,774 --> 00:43:29,775
Tx. Do you want it?

933
00:43:29,942 --> 00:43:31,235
<i>Do I want it?</i>

934
00:43:31,402 --> 00:43:32,653
Of course I want a dick like that.

935
00:43:32,820 --> 00:43:34,488
<i>Who wouldn't want a dick
that looks like that?</i>

936
00:43:35,447 --> 00:43:36,865
Do you want to suck it?

937
00:43:37,032 --> 00:43:38,867
<i>Do I wanna suck it? Oh, man.</i>

938
00:43:40,369 --> 00:43:41,954
<i>I'm gonna start putting people's
last names on my contacts.</i>

939
00:43:42,121 --> 00:43:43,747
No I don't.
I've never sucked a dick before.

940
00:43:46,291 --> 00:43:47,292
You've never sucked a dick?

941
00:43:47,459 --> 00:43:51,380
<i>No, I've never sucked a dick but, well,
if I'm being totally honest with myself....</i>

942
00:43:51,547 --> 00:43:55,300
I once touched a guy's dick
at summer camp but that's it.

943
00:43:55,467 --> 00:43:56,844
<i>Damn it, why'd I tell him that?</i>

944
00:43:57,011 --> 00:43:59,972
<i>This James guy is just
so easy to talk to. I told him too much.</i>

945
00:44:00,347 --> 00:44:03,100
You said you never sucked a dick before.
But tonight you're gonna.

946
00:44:03,267 --> 00:44:05,269
<i>Man, I guess that settles it.</i>

947
00:44:05,436 --> 00:44:08,272
<i>Isaac Greenberg
is sucking his first dick tonight.</i>

948
00:44:08,856 --> 00:44:10,941
Did he tell you that they've
named a park after him?

949
00:44:11,108 --> 00:44:12,276
You're gonna have a park named after you?

950
00:44:12,443 --> 00:44:14,737
I petitioned the city,
I got the signatures...

951
00:44:14,903 --> 00:44:17,573
and now there's gonna be the sweetest
little playground in Brooklyn...

952
00:44:17,740 --> 00:44:18,907
that's named after him.

953
00:44:19,074 --> 00:44:21,827
The park is not that nice!
There are crackheads, and...

954
00:44:21,994 --> 00:44:23,662
Sweetheart, they're gonna clean that up.

955
00:44:23,829 --> 00:44:26,123
We should get ready to go, guys. We have
to move. We're gonna miss the party.

956
00:44:26,290 --> 00:44:29,251
- That's true.
- Why don't I just wrap all of this up?

957
00:44:29,418 --> 00:44:31,754
You guys can take it down
to the homeless shelter.

958
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,882
It's only a few blocks away.
I'm sure they'd appreciate it.

959
00:44:35,632 --> 00:44:36,675
You're right, Mom.

960
00:44:36,842 --> 00:44:39,219
You boys are so sweet.
Thank you for coming.

961
00:44:40,596 --> 00:44:42,556
- Wanna help me in the kitchen?
- Okay.

962
00:44:42,723 --> 00:44:44,183
Thanks so much for dinner, Mrs. Roberts.

963
00:44:44,350 --> 00:44:45,976
You're welcome, sweetheart!

964
00:44:46,769 --> 00:44:48,896
Dude, what the fuck is going on with you?

965
00:44:49,646 --> 00:44:51,190
- Are you gay?
- No!

966
00:44:51,357 --> 00:44:52,524
Are you curious?

967
00:44:52,691 --> 00:44:55,402
Everyone is! What does that
have to do with this?

968
00:44:55,569 --> 00:44:57,279
I don't know.
Why are you looking up dicks?

969
00:44:57,446 --> 00:44:59,907
- Someone's sending me dicks.
- Someone's sending you that?

970
00:45:00,074 --> 00:45:03,243
Look, I'll show you. It's a fucking
conversation. It's some guy named James.

971
00:45:03,410 --> 00:45:05,579
A very nice, eloquent man named James
is sending me his penis.

972
00:45:05,746 --> 00:45:06,955
And he wants me to suck on it.

973
00:45:07,122 --> 00:45:09,833
I don't know what to do. I'm fucking
freaking out. Do I do it? Should I do it?

974
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,251
This isn't your phone, man.

975
00:45:11,418 --> 00:45:12,795
Dude, this isn't your phone!

976
00:45:12,961 --> 00:45:14,505
Oh, shit. Is this Sarah's phone?

977
00:45:15,381 --> 00:45:17,091
- Oh, no.
- What?

978
00:45:17,257 --> 00:45:18,676
She has my phone.

979
00:45:18,842 --> 00:45:21,261
It's okay, man. We know her.
We can get your phone back.

980
00:45:21,595 --> 00:45:23,305
There's something bad on my phone.

981
00:45:23,472 --> 00:45:25,099
You gonna be around tomorrow?

982
00:45:25,265 --> 00:45:27,976
Folks out at the church would love to
see you. Aunt would too.

983
00:45:28,143 --> 00:45:30,270
You know I'm busy, so....

984
00:45:30,437 --> 00:45:32,106
I don't really like to do that stuff, Ma.

985
00:45:32,272 --> 00:45:33,607
Won't take much time, Boo.

986
00:45:33,774 --> 00:45:36,193
I know. It's just I have
an early flight...

987
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:38,612
and I really feel bad
that I have to run back to work so fast.

988
00:45:38,779 --> 00:45:40,781
I just got so much stuff going on.

989
00:45:40,948 --> 00:45:42,324
I'm a celebrity now.

990
00:45:42,491 --> 00:45:44,576
I got appearances.
I got all kinds of stuff I have to do, Ma.

991
00:45:44,743 --> 00:45:47,413
I can't just be lollygagging around...

992
00:45:47,579 --> 00:45:49,331
and meeting old people.

993
00:45:50,541 --> 00:45:51,750
I love you.

994
00:45:51,917 --> 00:45:54,086
Betsy is gonna get that tape from Sarah...

995
00:45:54,253 --> 00:45:55,921
and she's gonna freak the fuck out.

996
00:45:56,088 --> 00:45:58,090
Why? Why would Betsy get the tape?

997
00:45:58,257 --> 00:46:01,427
Because I put cocaine blood
into her fucking drink.

998
00:46:01,593 --> 00:46:03,429
And no one wants to drink cocaine blood.

999
00:46:03,595 --> 00:46:05,222
Yeah. I'm gonna call her.

1000
00:46:05,389 --> 00:46:07,433
- How do you know her number?
- It's your number.

1001
00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:08,767
I'm trusting you on this.

1002
00:46:08,934 --> 00:46:11,145
I don't understand what's happening.
Where are we?

1003
00:46:11,311 --> 00:46:13,188
Sarah has your phone.
So I'm calling it.

1004
00:46:13,355 --> 00:46:14,648
Where are we right now?

1005
00:46:14,815 --> 00:46:16,775
- We're at Chris' house.
- What the fuck?

1006
00:46:16,942 --> 00:46:19,570
You just stay calm, all right?

1007
00:46:19,737 --> 00:46:21,572
- It'll be okay.
- Oh, yeah.

1008
00:46:21,989 --> 00:46:22,990
Oh, yeah.

1009
00:46:23,157 --> 00:46:24,408
You like that?

1010
00:46:25,743 --> 00:46:27,077
Here's the bad news.

1011
00:46:27,244 --> 00:46:28,704
- She didn't pick up.
- What?

1012
00:46:28,871 --> 00:46:30,748
- Everything's fine!
- I bit my tongue!

1013
00:46:30,914 --> 00:46:32,291
That boy need Jesus.

1014
00:46:32,458 --> 00:46:33,625
He needs something.

1015
00:46:33,792 --> 00:46:34,918
It's gonna be okay, though.

1016
00:46:35,085 --> 00:46:37,379
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna
use Find My iPhone and find the phone.

1017
00:46:37,546 --> 00:46:40,424
It's loading. There it is!
It's in midtown.

1018
00:46:40,591 --> 00:46:43,093
Your phone's in midtown. It's all good.

1019
00:46:43,260 --> 00:46:45,971
Okay. All right. So here's the thing.

1020
00:46:46,138 --> 00:46:48,557
We're gonna go to the party,
because Sarah's gonna go to the party.

1021
00:46:48,724 --> 00:46:49,767
Guys, let's go.

1022
00:46:49,933 --> 00:46:51,769
- You be safe.
- Guys, be careful.

1023
00:46:51,935 --> 00:46:52,936
Let's go, guys!

1024
00:46:53,103 --> 00:46:56,273
Baby, hold on. Let me get you a bag.
You're gonna need a bag. Wait up!

1025
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,692
This guy's dick is off the charts.

1026
00:46:58,859 --> 00:47:01,779
Yo, it's your man C-Rob coming at you
live from outside the homeless shelter.

1027
00:47:01,945 --> 00:47:03,822
We delivering turkeys
to homeless people...

1028
00:47:03,989 --> 00:47:06,867
because it's the giving season and they
do be gobbling, you know what I mean?

1029
00:47:07,034 --> 00:47:10,662
So if you're in the season of giving, hit me
up @Chrisrob11, hashtag "selfless giving."

1030
00:47:10,829 --> 00:47:13,290
And remember, it's not a good deed
if no one knows about it.

1031
00:47:13,457 --> 00:47:14,917
I got another dick, dude!

1032
00:47:15,084 --> 00:47:16,085
Drink Red Bull.

1033
00:47:17,127 --> 00:47:19,046
Oh, shit. Look, man, it's her!

1034
00:47:19,213 --> 00:47:22,466
It's the super fan,
sex maniac that stole my weed.

1035
00:47:22,633 --> 00:47:23,634
Come on, let's follow her.

1036
00:47:23,801 --> 00:47:26,387
No, we're not gonna follow her. Let's just
drop off the food and go to the party!

1037
00:47:26,553 --> 00:47:29,932
Shit! Look! Now she's stealing
from homeless people!

1038
00:47:30,099 --> 00:47:31,475
That's not right!

1039
00:47:31,642 --> 00:47:33,686
- Now, I'm going to teach her a lesson.
- Okay.

1040
00:47:33,852 --> 00:47:36,563
Hey! Did you steal my weed?

1041
00:47:38,023 --> 00:47:39,525
- No.
- We just saw you...

1042
00:47:39,692 --> 00:47:41,860
rob some homeless people
and I'm missing my weed, so....

1043
00:47:42,528 --> 00:47:44,780
You got me, I stole your weed.

1044
00:47:44,947 --> 00:47:48,909
But I told you right away
that I'm kind of a Grinch. Okay?

1045
00:47:50,744 --> 00:47:51,870
Eat me, sheep.

1046
00:47:52,037 --> 00:47:54,248
You're an actual Grinch.
You're like the mayor of Whoville.

1047
00:47:54,415 --> 00:47:55,916
I'm building a body of work.

1048
00:47:56,083 --> 00:47:58,252
I'm following in the path
of my Christmas heroes:

1049
00:47:58,419 --> 00:48:02,256
The Grinch, the Sticky Bandits,
Hans Gruber from <i>Die Hard.</i>

1050
00:48:02,423 --> 00:48:06,260
I walked by you and I heard you
going on about your Christmas plans...

1051
00:48:06,427 --> 00:48:10,139
and you're this football douche
and I Google you....

1052
00:48:10,472 --> 00:48:12,808
Jackpot! I pretend to be a fan...

1053
00:48:12,975 --> 00:48:14,268
we have sex, yaas.

1054
00:48:14,435 --> 00:48:15,602
And then I stole your weed.

1055
00:48:15,769 --> 00:48:17,938
It's Christmas! You don't steal
from people on Christmas.

1056
00:48:18,105 --> 00:48:19,398
I just want my weed back.

1057
00:48:19,565 --> 00:48:21,233
You're really cute when you get mad.

1058
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:22,901
That's cute.

1059
00:48:23,068 --> 00:48:26,321
This is the thing I didn't expect.
To fucking like you, dude.

1060
00:48:26,488 --> 00:48:28,323
You are so funny...

1061
00:48:28,490 --> 00:48:30,617
and talented, and handsome.

1062
00:48:31,201 --> 00:48:33,245
And easy. My God, dude!

1063
00:48:33,996 --> 00:48:35,205
Hey!

1064
00:48:36,457 --> 00:48:38,959
I'm gonna fucking catch you!

1065
00:48:40,002 --> 00:48:41,295
Later, suckas!

1066
00:48:41,462 --> 00:48:42,713
She <i>Home Alone</i>'d me!

1067
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:43,964
Are these Micro Machines?

1068
00:48:44,131 --> 00:48:45,591
- Wow!
- Let's go.

1069
00:48:45,758 --> 00:48:46,800
Girl's a genius.

1070
00:48:46,967 --> 00:48:49,845
Josh, hit the gas! Go!
We got to catch that girl!

1071
00:48:50,012 --> 00:48:52,514
Go down to the corner and make a right!
Hurry up, man! Chase her!

1072
00:48:52,681 --> 00:48:54,850
- Who?
- The girl who stole my weed! Hurry up!

1073
00:48:55,017 --> 00:48:56,352
- She stole your weed?
- Yeah.

1074
00:48:56,518 --> 00:48:58,103
That fucking bitch. I'm gonna kill her.

1075
00:48:58,270 --> 00:48:59,271
Go get her, baby!

1076
00:49:01,648 --> 00:49:02,816
Not so fast!

1077
00:49:08,447 --> 00:49:09,782
Guys, my iPhone's that way!

1078
00:49:09,948 --> 00:49:11,742
We got to find my iPhone!
It's the other direction! Please!

1079
00:49:13,660 --> 00:49:14,703
Slow down!

1080
00:49:14,870 --> 00:49:17,790
Speed up! Don't slow down!
If you're my guy, you won't slow down!

1081
00:49:17,956 --> 00:49:19,083
Hit the gas! Let's go!

1082
00:49:19,249 --> 00:49:20,250
Let's go.

1083
00:49:25,255 --> 00:49:26,799
There she is! There she is!

1084
00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:28,759
We got her! We got her!

1085
00:49:29,718 --> 00:49:31,303
Red light, red light!

1086
00:49:31,470 --> 00:49:33,555
No! You run that light! Are you my guy?

1087
00:49:34,014 --> 00:49:35,015
I'm your guy.

1088
00:49:35,182 --> 00:49:37,393
Give me your hand!
Run through that light, baby!

1089
00:49:45,943 --> 00:49:50,072
I fucked up. I fucked up.

1090
00:49:50,698 --> 00:49:52,449
I'm sorry.

1091
00:49:54,576 --> 00:49:56,662
- Are we alive?
- Yeah.

1092
00:49:56,829 --> 00:49:59,373
Look. Look, it's a sleigh.
We can still get her.

1093
00:49:59,540 --> 00:50:01,375
No. Let's just go to the party, okay?

1094
00:50:01,542 --> 00:50:02,835
We're going on a sleigh ride!

1095
00:50:03,002 --> 00:50:04,294
No! We're not going on a sleigh ride.

1096
00:50:04,461 --> 00:50:05,462
Come on, Joshua!

1097
00:50:08,465 --> 00:50:09,633
Shotgun!

1098
00:50:10,009 --> 00:50:11,635
Shotgun!

1099
00:50:11,802 --> 00:50:14,054
- Hurry up.
- You guys know this can't possibly work.

1100
00:50:14,221 --> 00:50:15,305
Of course it'll work!

1101
00:50:15,472 --> 00:50:17,057
- Let's get that Grinch!
- Let's find my phone!

1102
00:50:17,224 --> 00:50:19,143
Mush, motherfucker!

1103
00:50:26,942 --> 00:50:28,152
I'm stuck!

1104
00:50:28,318 --> 00:50:29,695
My hands are stuck!

1105
00:50:30,612 --> 00:50:32,614
No, no, no!

1106
00:50:32,781 --> 00:50:33,824
Fuck!

1107
00:50:35,325 --> 00:50:36,326
Shit, shit, shit!

1108
00:50:38,787 --> 00:50:40,164
Dude!

1109
00:50:40,706 --> 00:50:42,499
What happened just now?

1110
00:50:42,666 --> 00:50:44,209
He's okay. He looks okay.

1111
00:50:44,376 --> 00:50:46,920
We have to go! She went this way!
Let's go get this weed!

1112
00:50:47,087 --> 00:50:48,380
No. Forget about the weed, man!

1113
00:50:48,547 --> 00:50:50,341
We're not gonna split up now.
Let's go to the party.

1114
00:50:50,507 --> 00:50:53,135
No. You don't understand, man!
It's really important! It's for Tommy.

1115
00:50:53,302 --> 00:50:54,428
It's not important!

1116
00:50:54,595 --> 00:50:55,888
I'll meet you at the F Train!

1117
00:50:56,055 --> 00:50:57,931
You fucking believe this guy?

1118
00:50:58,098 --> 00:51:00,017
My phone! It's close! I got to go!

1119
00:51:00,184 --> 00:51:02,519
- No. Listen to me.
- No. You listen to me.

1120
00:51:02,686 --> 00:51:05,314
If I die, they will
play this video at my funeral!

1121
00:51:05,481 --> 00:51:07,358
- Okay! You're on drugs!
- Yes!

1122
00:51:07,524 --> 00:51:08,859
- You're not making sense!
- No!

1123
00:51:09,026 --> 00:51:10,486
- Trust me.
- Okay.

1124
00:51:10,652 --> 00:51:13,072
We're gonna stick together.
And go to the party.

1125
00:51:13,489 --> 00:51:14,615
I'll meet you at the F Train!

1126
00:51:14,782 --> 00:51:17,284
No! Dude! What the fuck!

1127
00:51:18,660 --> 00:51:19,953
This is crazy.

1128
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:23,457
Oh, come on.
How does this fucking work?

1129
00:51:23,624 --> 00:51:25,417
This is so confusing.

1130
00:51:25,584 --> 00:51:27,169
Fuck!

1131
00:51:27,336 --> 00:51:28,671
My eyes aren't working.

1132
00:51:28,837 --> 00:51:30,839
What asshole invented this stupid thing?

1133
00:51:35,260 --> 00:51:38,472
- Hey, man. Excuse me.
<i>- Hey, dude. How's it going?</i>

1134
00:51:38,639 --> 00:51:40,391
- I'm Isaac.
<i>- Hi, Isaac.</i>

1135
00:51:40,557 --> 00:51:41,850
I hate to bug you.

1136
00:51:42,017 --> 00:51:45,270
I lost my phone, and I'm using this app
to try to find it.

1137
00:51:45,437 --> 00:51:47,856
I'm kind of having a hard time.
It's confusing me a little bit.

1138
00:51:48,023 --> 00:51:49,233
You think you can maybe help me out?

1139
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:50,734
<i>Sure, hold my cane for a second.</i>

1140
00:51:50,901 --> 00:51:53,654
Awesome. Sure, I'll hold your cane.

1141
00:51:54,196 --> 00:51:55,656
<i>Hey, Merry Christmas, Isaac.</i>

1142
00:51:55,823 --> 00:51:57,533
Merry Christmas to you too, man.

1143
00:51:57,700 --> 00:51:58,826
<i>Thanks.</i>

1144
00:51:58,992 --> 00:52:00,994
I've been having a pretty crazy night.

1145
00:52:01,161 --> 00:52:04,206
I'm gonna level with you,
I'm a little fucked up right now.

1146
00:52:04,373 --> 00:52:05,541
<i>No way. You don't say?</i>

1147
00:52:05,708 --> 00:52:06,875
Yeah.

1148
00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:09,003
- What's your name?
<i>- Spencer.</i>

1149
00:52:09,169 --> 00:52:10,671
<i>That's my family over there.</i>

1150
00:52:10,838 --> 00:52:12,798
Hi! I'm Isaac, nice to meet you.

1151
00:52:12,965 --> 00:52:14,800
<i>- What's up, man?
- Hey.</i>

1152
00:52:15,134 --> 00:52:16,969
You have dogs.

1153
00:52:17,136 --> 00:52:19,304
- Can I pet them?
<i>- Go ahead. They're fine.</i>

1154
00:52:19,471 --> 00:52:21,306
- Thank you.
<i>- You're very welcome.</i>

1155
00:52:21,473 --> 00:52:23,642
- Hi, guys.
<i>- What's up, Isaac?</i>

1156
00:52:23,809 --> 00:52:25,602
<i>Come on and give us a pat.</i>

1157
00:52:25,769 --> 00:52:27,521
Oh my God, they talk!

1158
00:52:27,688 --> 00:52:29,189
<i>Of course. All dogs can talk.</i>

1159
00:52:29,356 --> 00:52:31,400
- There's another one.
<i>- That tickles.</i>

1160
00:52:31,567 --> 00:52:32,609
Oh, hi. I love you.

1161
00:52:32,776 --> 00:52:33,944
Isaac?

1162
00:52:35,904 --> 00:52:36,989
Betsy!

1163
00:52:37,156 --> 00:52:38,323
Oh, shit.

1164
00:52:40,826 --> 00:52:42,369
Hi.

1165
00:52:42,578 --> 00:52:43,787
Wow.

1166
00:52:44,538 --> 00:52:46,248
Hi.

1167
00:52:46,415 --> 00:52:47,541
Okay.

1168
00:52:47,958 --> 00:52:50,252
I never wanna let go.

1169
00:52:50,419 --> 00:52:51,879
What's happening?

1170
00:52:52,046 --> 00:52:53,756
What are you doing here right now?

1171
00:52:53,922 --> 00:52:56,133
What were you doing in the nativity scene?

1172
00:52:56,300 --> 00:52:57,885
I was hanging out
with Spencer and his family.

1173
00:52:58,052 --> 00:52:59,511
- They're really beautiful people.
- Spencer?

1174
00:52:59,678 --> 00:53:01,722
They're great people. They're interracial.

1175
00:53:01,889 --> 00:53:03,974
Why do you have a staff, honey?

1176
00:53:04,350 --> 00:53:06,268
What's happening right now?
Where are we now?

1177
00:53:06,435 --> 00:53:07,978
This is the church. Do you remember?

1178
00:53:08,145 --> 00:53:09,813
- You're here for that?
- Yes.

1179
00:53:09,980 --> 00:53:12,232
And I'm just telling you right now
that you need to go...

1180
00:53:12,399 --> 00:53:15,152
because my family
is paying for the cab right now.

1181
00:53:15,319 --> 00:53:17,446
So you need to get out of here
before they show up.

1182
00:53:17,613 --> 00:53:18,614
- Your family is coming?
- Yeah.

1183
00:53:18,781 --> 00:53:20,866
- So maybe go and run the other way.
- Where should I go?

1184
00:53:21,033 --> 00:53:22,993
Just fucking go before they get here. Go.

1185
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:25,412
I love you. Okay? I love you.

1186
00:53:25,579 --> 00:53:27,790
Okay. I love you. Bye.

1187
00:53:27,956 --> 00:53:29,750
That's very sweet. Bye.

1188
00:53:29,917 --> 00:53:31,794
What are you coming back for?
Just go that way!

1189
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:33,212
I don't know where to go.

1190
00:53:33,379 --> 00:53:35,172
No, no, no! Not inside the church.

1191
00:53:35,339 --> 00:53:36,507
Go, go, go.

1192
00:53:36,674 --> 00:53:37,841
Get the fuck out of here.

1193
00:53:38,008 --> 00:53:39,426
Wait. I know them. Hi!

1194
00:53:40,344 --> 00:53:41,679
Hi!

1195
00:53:41,845 --> 00:53:44,264
- Oh, my God! Look at you guys.
- It's so good to see you!

1196
00:53:44,431 --> 00:53:45,683
What a hat.

1197
00:53:45,849 --> 00:53:48,268
Why don't you come join us?
Come on in for midnight mass.

1198
00:53:48,435 --> 00:53:50,688
Oh, no. I don't think that's a good idea.

1199
00:53:50,854 --> 00:53:51,855
Why not?

1200
00:53:52,022 --> 00:53:54,274
Because he's hanging out
with his friends tonight. Right, Isaac?

1201
00:53:54,441 --> 00:53:57,069
- I don't see anybody.
- I don't know where they are right now.

1202
00:53:57,236 --> 00:53:59,154
- Come sit with us.
- I've never been in a church.

1203
00:53:59,321 --> 00:54:00,447
Come on.

1204
00:54:00,614 --> 00:54:02,116
Okay. Yeah?

1205
00:54:02,282 --> 00:54:04,243
Yeah. Great! I'll see you in there!

1206
00:54:04,410 --> 00:54:05,869
Let's go to midnight mass together.

1207
00:54:06,036 --> 00:54:08,997
Okay. Yeah, if you say so.

1208
00:54:09,164 --> 00:54:10,666
Save us a seat.

1209
00:54:10,833 --> 00:54:12,334
How fucked up are you right now?

1210
00:54:14,294 --> 00:54:16,588
I'm not fucked up at all, Betsy.
I'm your rock.

1211
00:54:16,755 --> 00:54:18,048
You look like a crack rock.

1212
00:54:18,215 --> 00:54:20,634
I'm not. Don't say that.
Are you mad at me?

1213
00:54:20,801 --> 00:54:22,761
- No, just walk normal, please.
- I'm walking normal.

1214
00:54:22,928 --> 00:54:24,388
No, you're not.

1215
00:54:24,555 --> 00:54:26,890
Don't put it there, Isaac.

1216
00:54:27,057 --> 00:54:28,392
And it's gone.

1217
00:54:28,559 --> 00:54:30,686
Hi. Merry Christmas.

1218
00:54:37,526 --> 00:54:39,111
Are you giving birth to piss?

1219
00:54:39,278 --> 00:54:42,281
Oh, my God. I'm just
trying not to shit my pants.

1220
00:54:42,448 --> 00:54:44,199
- You should.
- I should?

1221
00:54:44,366 --> 00:54:45,784
You should just do it. Why not?

1222
00:54:45,951 --> 00:54:47,453
I should just drop a deuce in my shorts.

1223
00:54:47,619 --> 00:54:48,912
Just do it!

1224
00:54:49,079 --> 00:54:52,374
That's great. Two more assholes
that don't give a fuck about Christmas.

1225
00:54:52,541 --> 00:54:53,584
What?

1226
00:54:53,751 --> 00:54:55,127
What are you guys doing?

1227
00:54:55,294 --> 00:54:56,795
Santa pub crawl, bro!

1228
00:54:56,962 --> 00:55:01,592
Guys, Santa Claus is a
very meaningful thing to a lot of people.

1229
00:55:01,759 --> 00:55:04,011
A lot of children!

1230
00:55:04,178 --> 00:55:07,848
Here's the thing, man. For those kids,
they're living a fucking lie!

1231
00:55:08,015 --> 00:55:09,433
Yeah. Spoiler alert:

1232
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:11,685
Santa's not real, you pricky infant.

1233
00:55:11,852 --> 00:55:13,312
This is a costume!

1234
00:55:13,479 --> 00:55:17,566
But when you put on that costume
and you portray Santa Claus...

1235
00:55:17,733 --> 00:55:22,237
you're taking a solemn oath
to represent certain values...

1236
00:55:22,404 --> 00:55:23,989
that it represents!

1237
00:55:24,156 --> 00:55:27,201
You know who you remind me of?
One of my angry elves.

1238
00:55:27,368 --> 00:55:29,286
Fuck! No. Look, don't call me an elf.

1239
00:55:29,453 --> 00:55:30,829
I think you got him with that one, Santa.

1240
00:55:30,996 --> 00:55:32,623
Fuck you, "don't call me an elf!"
Motherfucker!

1241
00:55:32,790 --> 00:55:34,792
Get back to the workshop!
You work for us, elf!

1242
00:55:34,958 --> 00:55:36,877
Go back to the workshop, elf!

1243
00:55:37,711 --> 00:55:40,506
This little elf has no friends
on Christmas.

1244
00:55:40,673 --> 00:55:42,591
My friends are just down there.

1245
00:55:42,758 --> 00:55:45,969
Where are they? We're friends.
We even dressed the same...

1246
00:55:46,136 --> 00:55:48,931
but you, you're all alone,
just like a fucking dum-dum.

1247
00:55:49,098 --> 00:55:50,599
Oh, my God. Are you gonna cry?

1248
00:55:51,642 --> 00:55:53,936
Did Mommy and Daddy
leave you alone on Christmas?

1249
00:55:54,103 --> 00:55:55,813
Oh, shit!

1250
00:55:55,979 --> 00:55:59,191
That's for disrespecting
the spirit of Christmas!

1251
00:56:02,611 --> 00:56:03,612
Oh, fuck.

1252
00:56:06,532 --> 00:56:07,533
Fuck you!

1253
00:56:07,700 --> 00:56:09,785
Man, this really feels like
it's about something else here.

1254
00:56:09,952 --> 00:56:12,413
It's about this and only this!
Nothing else!

1255
00:56:12,579 --> 00:56:14,415
I think you're sublimating, man.

1256
00:56:14,581 --> 00:56:16,625
I do not wanna hurt you, man.

1257
00:56:16,792 --> 00:56:18,419
No, no, no. I wanna hurt him.
He sucker-punched me.

1258
00:56:21,714 --> 00:56:23,215
You fucking frat boys!

1259
00:56:23,382 --> 00:56:25,134
I'm an orthopedic surgeon.

1260
00:56:25,300 --> 00:56:27,177
I teach third grade, bitch!

1261
00:56:27,344 --> 00:56:30,556
I shape our nation's youth!

1262
00:56:30,723 --> 00:56:32,307
What is with this holiday?

1263
00:56:32,474 --> 00:56:34,393
It just fucks with people's heads.

1264
00:56:37,062 --> 00:56:38,689
This needs to be important to you.

1265
00:56:38,856 --> 00:56:40,649
- It's ringing.
- Okay.

1266
00:56:47,072 --> 00:56:48,073
Hey.

1267
00:56:48,240 --> 00:56:49,908
Hey! Hi!

1268
00:56:50,075 --> 00:56:53,912
Does Isaac have Sarah's phone
by any chance?

1269
00:56:54,079 --> 00:56:55,998
Yeah, he has it.

1270
00:56:56,832 --> 00:56:57,958
- He has it.
- Thank God.

1271
00:56:58,125 --> 00:56:59,126
So relax.

1272
00:56:59,293 --> 00:57:01,462
There is some very sensitive information
on there.

1273
00:57:01,628 --> 00:57:03,964
It's incredibly sensitive.
Wow, what's on the phone?

1274
00:57:04,131 --> 00:57:05,215
You don't need to know.

1275
00:57:05,382 --> 00:57:08,260
How's the party? Is it as dumb
as you thought it'd be?

1276
00:57:08,427 --> 00:57:10,846
Actually, it's kind of amazing.
It's really fun...

1277
00:57:11,013 --> 00:57:13,682
and you should get here. Quickly.

1278
00:57:13,849 --> 00:57:14,892
What?

1279
00:57:15,059 --> 00:57:16,268
Really?

1280
00:57:16,435 --> 00:57:18,979
You want me to come there? To see you?

1281
00:57:19,146 --> 00:57:21,231
That's what I'm saying.
Come on!

1282
00:57:21,398 --> 00:57:22,900
Do you like him again?

1283
00:57:23,067 --> 00:57:24,234
Can we not have that conversation...

1284
00:57:24,401 --> 00:57:25,694
- right now?
- I'm just saying.

1285
00:57:25,861 --> 00:57:26,987
Okay.

1286
00:57:27,154 --> 00:57:28,739
Okay. We'll see you soon.

1287
00:57:32,493 --> 00:57:34,995
<i>Give us this day our daily bread</i>

1288
00:57:35,162 --> 00:57:37,206
<i>And forgive us our trespasses</i>

1289
00:57:40,834 --> 00:57:42,670
- I'm praying.
- I think that's a Jewish thing.

1290
00:57:42,836 --> 00:57:44,296
- I can't do that here?
- No.

1291
00:57:44,463 --> 00:57:45,464
It's the same God.

1292
00:57:46,298 --> 00:57:47,758
I did it.

1293
00:57:48,133 --> 00:57:49,259
What's everyone doing?

1294
00:57:49,426 --> 00:57:50,552
Sit.

1295
00:57:51,011 --> 00:57:52,179
Sit down.

1296
00:57:54,723 --> 00:57:56,892
- This is so cool.
- Whisper.

1297
00:57:57,059 --> 00:57:59,269
- Are we supposed to participate?
- No.

1298
00:57:59,436 --> 00:58:00,521
Hallelu!

1299
00:58:00,688 --> 00:58:02,189
No. Not that kind of church.

1300
00:58:02,356 --> 00:58:03,440
No?

1301
00:58:03,607 --> 00:58:05,734
You're my rock, right?
Can you be my rock?

1302
00:58:05,901 --> 00:58:07,569
Because you're acting like a weird pebble.

1303
00:58:07,736 --> 00:58:08,987
Okay. I think I'm good.

1304
00:58:09,154 --> 00:58:10,280
Be a rock.

1305
00:58:21,083 --> 00:58:23,043
Fuck you.

1306
00:58:23,377 --> 00:58:25,212
What's up with this fucking kid over here?

1307
00:58:25,379 --> 00:58:26,588
What?

1308
00:58:26,755 --> 00:58:27,840
What's this kid doing?

1309
00:58:29,425 --> 00:58:31,135
Look over there.

1310
00:58:31,301 --> 00:58:33,721
Look away, dude. Look away!

1311
00:58:34,513 --> 00:58:35,931
Stop.

1312
00:58:36,098 --> 00:58:37,516
Please don't hiss at a kid.

1313
00:58:37,683 --> 00:58:38,684
He's fucking with me.

1314
00:58:38,851 --> 00:58:40,185
I don't think he's talking to you at all.

1315
00:58:41,979 --> 00:58:43,147
Who's that guy?

1316
00:58:43,313 --> 00:58:44,314
What guy?

1317
00:58:44,481 --> 00:58:45,649
- The guy on the cross.
- Jesus!

1318
00:58:45,816 --> 00:58:47,234
- Oh, Jesus.
- Stop it.

1319
00:58:47,401 --> 00:58:48,402
Oh, Jesus Christ.

1320
00:58:48,569 --> 00:58:49,820
- Is that what they think we did to him?
- Yeah.

1321
00:58:49,987 --> 00:58:51,196
- Can you tell I'm Jewish?
- Yes.

1322
00:58:51,363 --> 00:58:52,740
- How?
- Your fucking sweater.

1323
00:58:54,158 --> 00:58:55,951
- I'm sorry.
- Isaac, stop talking.

1324
00:58:58,662 --> 00:59:00,956
Isaac. Isaac, what are you doing?

1325
00:59:01,540 --> 00:59:04,168
Don't throw up.
Don't you dare throw up in here.

1326
00:59:04,335 --> 00:59:05,961
Swallow it like a girl would.

1327
00:59:06,128 --> 00:59:07,588
Swallow it.

1328
00:59:07,755 --> 00:59:10,049
Did you do it?
Let me see your mouth.

1329
00:59:10,549 --> 00:59:11,592
Don't throw up on me.

1330
00:59:11,759 --> 00:59:12,926
Where's the barf bag?

1331
00:59:13,093 --> 00:59:14,178
There's no barf bags!

1332
00:59:14,345 --> 00:59:16,430
Stop it! No, stop it, Isaac!

1333
00:59:21,810 --> 00:59:23,812
Jesus fucking Christ!

1334
00:59:25,898 --> 00:59:27,900
- He just threw up.
- Yeah.

1335
00:59:28,817 --> 00:59:30,527
Oh, Jesus, fuck me.

1336
00:59:32,946 --> 00:59:35,866
- Is it still happening?
- It's still happening a little.

1337
00:59:40,204 --> 00:59:42,414
We did not kill Jesus!

1338
00:59:42,581 --> 00:59:44,583
We did not do that!

1339
00:59:55,469 --> 00:59:56,804
Give me my weed, you Grinch!

1340
01:00:00,724 --> 01:00:02,101
Shit!

1341
01:00:08,816 --> 01:00:09,900
Come on!

1342
01:00:27,835 --> 01:00:29,128
Fuck!

1343
01:00:32,548 --> 01:00:33,674
What the fuck are you doing?

1344
01:00:33,841 --> 01:00:35,259
No, what are you doing, man?

1345
01:00:35,426 --> 01:00:37,511
You have friends who want to
spend the holidays with you.

1346
01:00:37,678 --> 01:00:39,138
You're lucky you have that.

1347
01:00:39,304 --> 01:00:41,932
You need to appreciate that
before you lose them.

1348
01:00:42,099 --> 01:00:44,393
That's your Christmas lesson.
That's why I'm taking this shit.

1349
01:00:45,769 --> 01:00:47,771
My boy Hans Gruber died like this.

1350
01:00:50,107 --> 01:00:51,358
No!

1351
01:01:12,713 --> 01:01:14,465
What the hell?

1352
01:01:16,633 --> 01:01:17,968
- Help!
- Isaac.

1353
01:01:18,135 --> 01:01:19,428
- What you doing, man?
- Thank God!

1354
01:01:19,595 --> 01:01:21,930
Dude, we've got to get to this party
or I'm gonna get fucking divorced.

1355
01:01:22,097 --> 01:01:23,766
Help me. How does this thing work?

1356
01:01:23,932 --> 01:01:25,434
You got to use your MetroCard.
Go this way.

1357
01:01:25,601 --> 01:01:27,394
Do it, do it, do it.

1358
01:01:27,561 --> 01:01:29,146
All right. Go.

1359
01:01:30,647 --> 01:01:31,732
Did you get the weed back?

1360
01:01:31,899 --> 01:01:33,275
Shit got weird.
I don't wanna talk about it.

1361
01:01:33,442 --> 01:01:34,860
Did you get your phone back?

1362
01:01:35,027 --> 01:01:37,321
No. Not at all. That's a long story.
Look. Hey!

1363
01:01:37,488 --> 01:01:39,114
Oh, shit! What the fuck happened to you?

1364
01:01:39,281 --> 01:01:41,033
I got beat up
by a couple of Santa Clauses.

1365
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:42,910
You got beat up?

1366
01:01:43,077 --> 01:01:45,412
Fuck. When?

1367
01:01:45,579 --> 01:01:48,999
When? You know, a little bit
after you guys ran off without me.

1368
01:01:49,166 --> 01:01:50,417
But why did they beat you up?

1369
01:01:50,584 --> 01:01:51,585
I don't know why they beat me up!

1370
01:01:51,752 --> 01:01:53,003
Did they mug you?
Did they take the tickets?

1371
01:01:53,170 --> 01:01:54,672
No, they didn't take the fucking tickets!

1372
01:01:54,838 --> 01:01:56,131
Then why would they do it?

1373
01:01:56,298 --> 01:01:57,341
I don't know.

1374
01:01:57,508 --> 01:01:59,968
You don't know?
Did they say anything?

1375
01:02:00,135 --> 01:02:01,804
They're just a couple of drunk assholes!

1376
01:02:01,970 --> 01:02:04,556
Look, it wouldn't have happened
if you guys didn't bail on me.

1377
01:02:05,599 --> 01:02:06,725
What the fuck is that?

1378
01:02:06,892 --> 01:02:09,144
Don't do this now.
Please don't do this now!

1379
01:02:09,311 --> 01:02:10,938
So what's up with you, man?
Why are you mad at us?

1380
01:02:11,105 --> 01:02:13,607
Why you blame everything bad
that happens to you on us?

1381
01:02:13,774 --> 01:02:15,859
I'm just saying this is the
last chance we get to do this...

1382
01:02:16,026 --> 01:02:17,236
and you guys are so wrapped up
in your own shit...

1383
01:02:17,403 --> 01:02:18,404
you don't really care about Christmas.

1384
01:02:18,570 --> 01:02:19,822
What does that even mean?

1385
01:02:19,988 --> 01:02:21,907
When was the last time
you checked your phone, Chris?

1386
01:02:22,074 --> 01:02:23,909
Are you sure one of your famous friends...

1387
01:02:24,076 --> 01:02:25,953
isn't trying to get a hold of you
asking you to fetch him something?

1388
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:27,996
You used to hate guys like that.

1389
01:02:28,163 --> 01:02:31,500
I get it. I get some success.
I get some new friends and you're jealous.

1390
01:02:31,667 --> 01:02:33,919
Look at you. So you're a success?

1391
01:02:34,086 --> 01:02:35,546
You want to talk about
your newfound success?

1392
01:02:35,713 --> 01:02:36,797
I don't need to talk about it.

1393
01:02:36,964 --> 01:02:38,507
You don't think your two best friends
see through that shit?

1394
01:02:38,674 --> 01:02:40,968
See through what? Let's talk about it.
What do you see, Isaac?

1395
01:02:41,135 --> 01:02:42,261
I don't see anything.
I don't see through anything.

1396
01:02:42,428 --> 01:02:44,013
You're 34 years old.

1397
01:02:44,179 --> 01:02:46,140
Most professional athletes
retire right now...

1398
01:02:46,306 --> 01:02:48,183
but you just got good. How is that?

1399
01:02:48,350 --> 01:02:49,351
Practice.

1400
01:02:49,518 --> 01:02:51,603
I told you. It was a new diet.
A new regimen.

1401
01:02:51,770 --> 01:02:54,231
A new regimen?
That's what you call it?

1402
01:02:54,398 --> 01:02:55,983
Yeah, that's what I call it.
What you call it?

1403
01:02:56,150 --> 01:02:58,902
I think I call it putting a needle
in your ass. That's what I call it.

1404
01:02:59,069 --> 01:03:00,946
Okay. Fine.

1405
01:03:01,113 --> 01:03:02,865
I'm on steroids, now what?

1406
01:03:03,282 --> 01:03:05,659
Newsflash: Everybody's on steroids!

1407
01:03:05,826 --> 01:03:06,827
You're a cheater.

1408
01:03:06,994 --> 01:03:08,620
At least I'm doing something with my life.

1409
01:03:08,787 --> 01:03:11,457
What about you? Sitting around
wasting your fucking life away.

1410
01:03:11,623 --> 01:03:13,417
No girlfriend, no money.

1411
01:03:13,584 --> 01:03:17,629
Dude, you make music
that people have never heard.

1412
01:03:17,796 --> 01:03:19,048
It's the saddest shit
I've ever seen in my life!

1413
01:03:19,214 --> 01:03:20,424
Are you fucking serious right now?

1414
01:03:20,591 --> 01:03:22,760
Yeah! You need to get your
fucking life together. Tell him, Isaac.

1415
01:03:22,926 --> 01:03:25,346
You shut up! You're ruining my trip!

1416
01:03:25,512 --> 01:03:27,056
It's really fucked up.

1417
01:03:27,222 --> 01:03:30,100
Fuck this!
Going to the best party of my life...

1418
01:03:30,267 --> 01:03:34,772
and I'm not wearing some pseudo-racist,
fake-ass acrylic sweater!

1419
01:03:34,938 --> 01:03:37,274
- Don't take off that sweater!
- I'm taking the sweater off!

1420
01:03:37,441 --> 01:03:39,443
- Don't take off the sweater.
- Put the fucking sweater back on!

1421
01:03:39,610 --> 01:03:40,652
I'm taking the fucking sweater off!

1422
01:03:42,696 --> 01:03:43,947
Stupid.

1423
01:04:15,062 --> 01:04:16,563
May I help you?

1424
01:04:18,273 --> 01:04:21,902
I have these tickets.

1425
01:04:34,039 --> 01:04:35,207
Come with me.

1426
01:04:42,965 --> 01:04:43,966
Come on.

1427
01:04:47,594 --> 01:04:48,679
Get in there.

1428
01:05:18,500 --> 01:05:22,046
May I take your coats, gentlemen?

1429
01:05:42,441 --> 01:05:44,360
All aboard!

1430
01:06:25,859 --> 01:06:27,361
I'm going to find Owens.

1431
01:06:28,612 --> 01:06:30,447
Gonna find my phone.

1432
01:06:32,116 --> 01:06:33,325
I'm gonna go find Diana.

1433
01:06:38,706 --> 01:06:41,792
Oh, shit, Messiah,
White Jesus in the building.

1434
01:06:41,959 --> 01:06:43,043
C-Money in the hizzle.

1435
01:06:43,210 --> 01:06:44,253
- Yo, man.
- I see you made it.

1436
01:06:44,420 --> 01:06:46,672
I wasn't able to get the weed, man.
Shit fell apart. You know what I mean?

1437
01:06:46,839 --> 01:06:48,674
I forgot I even asked you.
You want some weed?

1438
01:06:48,841 --> 01:06:50,551
Have some weed.

1439
01:06:50,718 --> 01:06:52,261
But.... All right.

1440
01:06:52,970 --> 01:06:55,097
You got a whole fucking
dump truck of weed?

1441
01:06:55,264 --> 01:06:57,057
Dro fo' sho'.

1442
01:06:57,224 --> 01:06:59,560
- So this it, huh?
- Oh, this is it, baby.

1443
01:06:59,727 --> 01:07:01,645
The Nutcracker Ball!

1444
01:07:01,812 --> 01:07:03,397
Yeah!

1445
01:07:04,398 --> 01:07:05,524
Having an emergency!

1446
01:07:06,942 --> 01:07:08,652
- Oh, my God.
- Sarah!

1447
01:07:08,819 --> 01:07:10,112
Sarah!

1448
01:07:10,279 --> 01:07:11,822
Are you fucking kidding me?

1449
01:07:11,989 --> 01:07:13,240
Get off of me!
What the fuck, dude?

1450
01:07:13,407 --> 01:07:14,742
I'm sorry! I'm just happy!

1451
01:07:14,908 --> 01:07:17,828
- You're so fucking sweaty.
- I know. It's warm and I'm on Molly.

1452
01:07:17,995 --> 01:07:19,580
- Oh, my God! Is that my phone?
- It is your phone. Do you have my phone?

1453
01:07:19,747 --> 01:07:21,707
- Take your piece-of-shit phone back.
- It's the same phone.

1454
01:07:21,874 --> 01:07:23,042
That's why we got them mixed up.

1455
01:07:23,208 --> 01:07:24,376
- But this has some serious shit on it.
- I know.

1456
01:07:24,543 --> 01:07:26,128
Wait. You didn't look at it, did you?

1457
01:07:26,295 --> 01:07:27,629
You didn't look at any shit on my phone,
did you?

1458
01:07:27,796 --> 01:07:28,797
- No.
- Good.

1459
01:07:28,964 --> 01:07:30,382
You didn't look at anything on my phone,
did you?

1460
01:07:30,549 --> 01:07:31,967
I just wanna tell you...

1461
01:07:32,968 --> 01:07:33,969
good job.

1462
01:07:34,428 --> 01:07:35,554
You did fucking look at my phone.

1463
01:07:36,013 --> 01:07:37,931
I didn't want to.
The texts just were coming in.

1464
01:07:38,098 --> 01:07:39,099
What is the matter with you?

1465
01:07:39,266 --> 01:07:41,352
All these gorgeous dick pics.
A-plus dick pics.

1466
01:07:41,643 --> 01:07:43,145
- That's a boss hog.
- Wait a second, really?

1467
01:07:43,312 --> 01:07:45,189
That dick soft is like
two of my dicks hard.

1468
01:07:45,356 --> 01:07:47,316
Do you think, like, it would be....

1469
01:07:47,483 --> 01:07:49,693
Do you think I could, like, handle it?

1470
01:07:49,860 --> 01:07:51,904
There was a moment where I thought
he was wanting me to handle it...

1471
01:07:52,071 --> 01:07:54,573
and I had to wrap my head around it
for a second, and I thought to myself:

1472
01:07:54,740 --> 01:07:56,617
"You know what? You hunker down,
you could take that bad boy."

1473
01:07:56,784 --> 01:07:57,868
- Really?
- Yeah.

1474
01:07:58,035 --> 01:08:00,788
That guy James, whoever James is,
he's got a fantastic cock on him.

1475
01:08:00,954 --> 01:08:02,873
Yo! Did somebody say cock?

1476
01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:04,041
What's up?

1477
01:08:04,208 --> 01:08:05,334
- Hey.
- What are you guys talking about?

1478
01:08:05,501 --> 01:08:06,627
- Nothing.
- Hey, what's up, bro? I'm James.

1479
01:08:06,794 --> 01:08:08,796
- I'm Isaac.
- You don't need to meet him.

1480
01:08:08,962 --> 01:08:10,214
That's your dick!

1481
01:08:10,381 --> 01:08:12,257
- Oh, shit!
- I'm the guy who had the phone!

1482
01:08:12,424 --> 01:08:14,218
- You saw my dick?
- Did I ever! Oh, my God!

1483
01:08:14,385 --> 01:08:15,928
He almost sucked my dick.

1484
01:08:16,095 --> 01:08:17,388
I would have if I'd known
it was you, maybe.

1485
01:08:17,554 --> 01:08:19,098
Oh, shit! Are you guys a couple?

1486
01:08:19,264 --> 01:08:20,391
- No, no. We're friends.
- Am I the third wheel?

1487
01:08:20,557 --> 01:08:21,600
No, no. You're the first wheel.

1488
01:08:21,767 --> 01:08:23,644
- Am I the third wheel?
- Not at all.

1489
01:08:23,811 --> 01:08:26,146
Honestly, I was with two other guys
all night and now I'm in a fight with them....

1490
01:08:26,313 --> 01:08:27,940
Oh, really? Two other guys?

1491
01:08:28,107 --> 01:08:29,566
I'd love to hang out
with two other people.

1492
01:08:29,733 --> 01:08:31,026
Is that a challenge?

1493
01:08:31,193 --> 01:08:32,611
It might be! Yeah.

1494
01:08:32,778 --> 01:08:35,489
I don't know who I'm gonna start with,
but I know who I'm gonna end with.

1495
01:08:35,656 --> 01:08:37,199
Well, let's get started right now!

1496
01:08:37,366 --> 01:08:39,493
- You guys wanna dance?
- I would love to dance.

1497
01:08:39,660 --> 01:08:41,328
- I would love to dance.
- You wanna dance?

1498
01:08:41,495 --> 01:08:42,955
Let's do it! Come on, Isaac!

1499
01:08:43,122 --> 01:08:45,124
Oh, my God. This is so nice!
This is the best!

1500
01:08:45,290 --> 01:08:46,333
What a turn of events!

1501
01:08:46,500 --> 01:08:47,501
What?

1502
01:08:59,972 --> 01:09:02,391
Holy fucking shit!

1503
01:09:11,316 --> 01:09:12,317
You're Miley Cyrus.

1504
01:09:12,901 --> 01:09:13,902
Yeah.

1505
01:09:14,069 --> 01:09:15,237
No, you don't understand.

1506
01:09:15,404 --> 01:09:18,699
I was just looking for this girl
that I love, and she loves you.

1507
01:09:18,866 --> 01:09:21,493
Oh, God, no. I did that with two fans
one time. It got super awkward.

1508
01:09:21,660 --> 01:09:24,079
That's not what I meant. Sorry, you don't
understand. That'd be awesome....

1509
01:09:24,246 --> 01:09:25,581
But, no, I just mean....

1510
01:09:26,957 --> 01:09:30,210
This has gotta be some kind of Christmas
miracle, because she talks about you...

1511
01:09:30,377 --> 01:09:32,338
and your song a lot.

1512
01:09:32,504 --> 01:09:36,592
And I love this girl. I'm starting to realize,
tonight, she's the love of my life.

1513
01:09:36,759 --> 01:09:39,720
And I wanted tonight to be sort of a
special night for me and her.

1514
01:09:39,928 --> 01:09:42,931
- Now you're here and....
- You want to propose tonight?

1515
01:09:43,098 --> 01:09:46,226
Oh, my God! That is so romantic.
That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

1516
01:09:46,393 --> 01:09:48,729
I mean, I was just thinking you could
like dedicate a song to her.

1517
01:09:48,896 --> 01:09:51,357
What? You gotta propose!

1518
01:09:51,523 --> 01:09:54,610
Come on! It's Christmas.
It's like, go big or go fucking home!

1519
01:09:54,777 --> 01:09:57,071
I mean, you love this girl.
You say you love her, right?

1520
01:09:57,237 --> 01:10:00,449
Yeah. But I don't know
if tonight's the right time for...

1521
01:10:00,616 --> 01:10:03,369
Oh, God. Are you one of those guys
that are always making up excuses?

1522
01:10:03,535 --> 01:10:04,953
I fucking hate those kind of guys.

1523
01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:06,455
No, Miley Cyrus,
I'm not one of those guys.

1524
01:10:06,622 --> 01:10:09,166
All right, then don't be a pussy!
You got to propose to her!

1525
01:10:09,333 --> 01:10:12,544
There's all this magic in the air,
people want to fall in love.

1526
01:10:13,253 --> 01:10:15,714
Okay. Okay!
Then I will!

1527
01:10:15,881 --> 01:10:17,257
This is a sign if I've ever seen a sign!

1528
01:10:17,675 --> 01:10:20,177
- It's gonna be fucking awesome.
- I'm gonna propose!

1529
01:10:20,344 --> 01:10:21,720
Yeah, you're gonna propose!
And I'm gonna help you out.

1530
01:10:21,887 --> 01:10:24,682
We're gonna propose!
Oh, my God! We're gonna propose!

1531
01:10:24,848 --> 01:10:26,892
We're gonna propose! Okay!

1532
01:10:27,059 --> 01:10:29,728
Miley Cyrus, this is the nicest thing
that anyone's ever done for me!

1533
01:10:29,895 --> 01:10:31,647
You gotta stop calling me Miley Cyrus.

1534
01:10:31,814 --> 01:10:33,732
- What should I call you?
- Hannah.

1535
01:10:34,692 --> 01:10:36,735
Just kidding. I'm drunk.
Let's do this thing!

1536
01:10:36,902 --> 01:10:38,737
- What's up, man?
- Hey, Chris.

1537
01:10:38,904 --> 01:10:40,989
- Yeah, what up, boy?
- Hey, what's up, K?

1538
01:10:41,156 --> 01:10:43,450
Hey, Reverend Run, man.
It's your boy, Reverend Run.

1539
01:10:43,617 --> 01:10:45,119
What that supposed to mean?

1540
01:10:45,285 --> 01:10:47,705
Hey, Messiah.
Check this shit out, dude.

1541
01:10:48,288 --> 01:10:50,916
Oh, shit. Is that you?
The fuck is that?

1542
01:10:51,083 --> 01:10:52,668
Nah, it was a Make-A-Wish thing, man.

1543
01:10:52,835 --> 01:10:56,380
Those two kids have Crohn's disease.
It was their wish to do karaoke with me.

1544
01:10:56,547 --> 01:10:59,258
Man, damn dog,
you look just as white as they do.

1545
01:10:59,425 --> 01:11:01,635
- Yeah, which one are you?
- Look at that sweater!

1546
01:11:04,638 --> 01:11:07,725
I got you!
I got you! I got you!

1547
01:11:07,891 --> 01:11:09,143
Oh, man!

1548
01:11:09,309 --> 01:11:10,769
- Yeah!
- Yeah.

1549
01:11:10,936 --> 01:11:12,563
- You're a great dancer, man.
- Oh, thanks, dude.

1550
01:11:12,730 --> 01:11:15,399
Appreciate it. I'm pretty high
on Molly right now.

1551
01:11:15,566 --> 01:11:17,693
I'm high too. I'm high too.

1552
01:11:17,860 --> 01:11:19,987
- I am digging this beard.
- Thanks, man.

1553
01:11:20,154 --> 01:11:22,406
- Yo, carpet match the drapes?
- Yeah, I got a big bush.

1554
01:11:23,365 --> 01:11:26,368
My carpet matches my drapes.

1555
01:11:26,535 --> 01:11:29,204
Look at this guy!
He's furry all over!

1556
01:11:29,997 --> 01:11:30,998
Nice!

1557
01:11:31,165 --> 01:11:33,709
You need to get the fuck out of here.
You're being a huge cockblock.

1558
01:11:33,876 --> 01:11:35,002
I'm not being a cockblock.

1559
01:11:35,169 --> 01:11:36,378
- Yes, you are!
- What the fuck are you talking about?

1560
01:11:36,545 --> 01:11:39,757
I don't think I could block this guy's cock.
It'd take ten men to block that thing.

1561
01:11:43,052 --> 01:11:45,929
- Merry Christmas, New York City!
- Oh, no. Miley's here?

1562
01:11:46,096 --> 01:11:47,639
Miley Cyrus?

1563
01:11:48,265 --> 01:11:52,186
<i>We clawed, we chained Our hearts in vain</i>

1564
01:11:52,353 --> 01:11:53,937
<i>We jumped</i>

1565
01:11:54,104 --> 01:11:55,981
<i>Never asking why</i>

1566
01:11:56,148 --> 01:11:58,150
- This is great!
- This is so cool.

1567
01:11:58,317 --> 01:12:00,069
Where's Diana?
This is, like, our song.

1568
01:12:00,652 --> 01:12:04,281
<i>A love no one could deny</i>

1569
01:12:04,448 --> 01:12:06,200
All right, everybody,
give it up to my friend.

1570
01:12:06,367 --> 01:12:07,576
What the fuck is your name again?

1571
01:12:07,743 --> 01:12:08,744
- Ethan.
- Ethan!

1572
01:12:13,665 --> 01:12:17,544
<i>Don't you ever say I just walked away</i>

1573
01:12:17,711 --> 01:12:20,964
<i>I will always want you</i>

1574
01:12:22,049 --> 01:12:23,967
<i>I forgot these words</i>

1575
01:12:24,134 --> 01:12:25,678
<i>Doesn't matter though</i>

1576
01:12:26,303 --> 01:12:30,182
<i>I will always want you</i>

1577
01:12:31,183 --> 01:12:35,604
<i>I came in like a wrecking ball</i>

1578
01:12:35,771 --> 01:12:39,191
<i>I never hit so hard in love</i>

1579
01:12:39,358 --> 01:12:43,112
<i>All I wanted was to break your walls</i>

1580
01:12:43,487 --> 01:12:47,908
<i>All you ever did was wreck me</i>

1581
01:12:48,450 --> 01:12:49,785
<i>Yeah, you</i>

1582
01:12:49,952 --> 01:12:51,662
<i>You wreck me</i>

1583
01:12:51,829 --> 01:12:53,497
Yeah!

1584
01:12:54,957 --> 01:12:56,041
Diana....

1585
01:12:58,419 --> 01:12:59,712
Dude, can you move?

1586
01:12:59,878 --> 01:13:02,589
In the red. Move.
Yeah, thanks.

1587
01:13:03,549 --> 01:13:04,550
Diana...

1588
01:13:05,634 --> 01:13:08,721
listen, I know we're not really even
going out anymore...

1589
01:13:08,887 --> 01:13:11,015
and that's because I wouldn't commit.

1590
01:13:11,181 --> 01:13:13,350
- This is crazy.
- But I'm ready to commit. Hard.

1591
01:13:13,517 --> 01:13:15,978
<i>I'm ready to commit</i>

1592
01:13:16,520 --> 01:13:18,063
Hard like a wrecking ball.

1593
01:13:19,732 --> 01:13:21,817
You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me, girl.

1594
01:13:22,693 --> 01:13:25,487
You make me laugh. You're cool as hell.
You don't take any shit.

1595
01:13:26,155 --> 01:13:27,406
<i>None of his shit</i>

1596
01:13:27,573 --> 01:13:28,574
You're smarter than I am.

1597
01:13:28,741 --> 01:13:30,784
- You're probably better than I deserve.
- This is so romantic.

1598
01:13:31,702 --> 01:13:32,995
But go big or go home.
Right, Miley?

1599
01:13:33,162 --> 01:13:34,329
No, E.

1600
01:13:34,496 --> 01:13:38,000
<i>Go big or go home</i>

1601
01:13:38,334 --> 01:13:41,670
When I let you go,
that was just me fucking up...

1602
01:13:41,837 --> 01:13:44,089
but I don't wanna ever let you go again.
Not now, not ever.

1603
01:13:44,256 --> 01:13:46,383
And definitely not on fucking Christmas!

1604
01:13:46,550 --> 01:13:48,927
<i>On fucking Christmas</i>

1605
01:13:49,094 --> 01:13:50,679
So this is it, Diana.

1606
01:13:50,846 --> 01:13:53,223
- Only live once, bro!
- Stop encouraging him, James.

1607
01:13:54,350 --> 01:13:55,601
Will you marry me?

1608
01:13:57,853 --> 01:13:59,897
Say yes. Yes.

1609
01:14:05,235 --> 01:14:07,404
- Yes.
- Yeah!

1610
01:14:07,821 --> 01:14:09,490
- Fuck!
- Yes!

1611
01:14:10,157 --> 01:14:14,078
<i>I came in like a wrecking ball</i>

1612
01:14:14,244 --> 01:14:17,289
<i>I never hit so hard in love</i>

1613
01:14:18,123 --> 01:14:22,002
<i>All I wanted was to break your walls</i>

1614
01:14:22,169 --> 01:14:26,173
<i>All you ever did was wreck me</i>

1615
01:14:26,715 --> 01:14:28,258
<i>I came in like a wrecking ball</i>

1616
01:14:28,425 --> 01:14:30,969
Okay, I gotta go find my friend real fast.
Excuse me.

1617
01:14:31,136 --> 01:14:35,933
<i>Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung
Left me crashing in a blazing fall</i>

1618
01:14:36,100 --> 01:14:37,976
I'm gonna be right back.

1619
01:14:38,143 --> 01:14:39,395
Y'all stay black.

1620
01:14:39,770 --> 01:14:41,105
- Hey.
- Yeah?

1621
01:14:41,271 --> 01:14:43,232
All this romance is getting me really hot.

1622
01:14:43,399 --> 01:14:44,566
You wanna go back to the hotel room?

1623
01:14:44,733 --> 01:14:46,402
Hey, I feel like you might be gay.

1624
01:14:47,236 --> 01:14:49,321
- Not right now, I'm not.
- Okay.

1625
01:14:49,488 --> 01:14:50,823
- All right.
- Okay.

1626
01:14:51,156 --> 01:14:52,783
Oh, my fucking God! Oh, my God!

1627
01:14:52,950 --> 01:14:54,660
Oh, my God!
This is the greatest night of our lives!

1628
01:14:54,827 --> 01:14:56,829
- That was crazy.
- That's so crazy, right?

1629
01:14:56,995 --> 01:14:59,915
Listen, I'm sorry about the ring.
I'll get you a ring, I promise.

1630
01:15:00,082 --> 01:15:01,208
We can do that tomorrow.

1631
01:15:01,375 --> 01:15:03,210
No, Ethan, I'm not going to marry you.

1632
01:15:03,377 --> 01:15:04,503
What do you mean?

1633
01:15:04,670 --> 01:15:07,047
We're not even together.

1634
01:15:07,214 --> 01:15:09,216
I haven't even spoken to you in,
like, three months!

1635
01:15:09,383 --> 01:15:10,592
Yes, I addressed that in the speech.

1636
01:15:10,759 --> 01:15:12,803
I know, and then you show up here
and you propose to me...

1637
01:15:12,970 --> 01:15:14,847
in front of hundreds and hundreds
of people.

1638
01:15:15,014 --> 01:15:16,015
That's crazy.

1639
01:15:16,181 --> 01:15:19,393
Wait, I'm sorry.
We're not getting married? This is a no?

1640
01:15:19,560 --> 01:15:21,979
No! It's a no! No!

1641
01:15:22,146 --> 01:15:25,691
I'm so sorry that you're clearly
going through a lot right now.

1642
01:15:25,858 --> 01:15:28,569
I'm sorry that your friends don't wanna
hang out with you on Christmas.

1643
01:15:28,736 --> 01:15:30,195
I understand that that's hard for you.

1644
01:15:30,362 --> 01:15:33,949
That is not a reason for you
to grab onto me like I'm your lifeline!

1645
01:15:35,409 --> 01:15:36,410
Why'd you say yes?

1646
01:15:37,286 --> 01:15:39,455
I said yes because
everybody was looking at me.

1647
01:15:39,621 --> 01:15:42,541
I said yes, because Miley clearly wanted
me to say yes!

1648
01:15:42,708 --> 01:15:45,085
And I didn't want Miley to think
that I hated love!

1649
01:15:46,712 --> 01:15:48,047
That's understandable.

1650
01:15:48,213 --> 01:15:50,007
I wouldn't want that either.

1651
01:15:50,841 --> 01:15:52,593
Okay, look, I....

1652
01:15:54,053 --> 01:15:56,680
I was really just trying to do what I
thought you wanted me to do...

1653
01:15:56,847 --> 01:15:58,682
and that's because I love you.

1654
01:15:58,849 --> 01:16:00,184
It's been three months, I haven't stopped.

1655
01:16:00,351 --> 01:16:01,602
I'm not gonna stop.

1656
01:16:02,102 --> 01:16:04,730
I'm not your answer...

1657
01:16:04,897 --> 01:16:06,648
right now, Ethan.

1658
01:16:07,816 --> 01:16:10,027
Wait, wait. No, no.
Can we talk?

1659
01:16:17,326 --> 01:16:20,037
Oh, my God! Hi!

1660
01:16:20,204 --> 01:16:21,288
- You're Tommy Owens!
- Yeah, yeah, thank you.

1661
01:16:21,455 --> 01:16:22,498
You're the Messiah!

1662
01:16:22,664 --> 01:16:25,376
You really are the Messiah!
You saved my fantasy team last year, bro!

1663
01:16:25,542 --> 01:16:27,002
- I'm a huge fan of yours.
- All right, that's good to know.

1664
01:16:27,169 --> 01:16:28,170
You have a good night.

1665
01:16:28,337 --> 01:16:29,338
- You're big in real life.
- Pleasure, man.

1666
01:16:29,505 --> 01:16:30,798
Look, can you help me out?

1667
01:16:30,964 --> 01:16:33,967
We have a friend in common. Chris.

1668
01:16:34,134 --> 01:16:36,178
- I'm looking for my buddy Ethan.
- Oh, shit.

1669
01:16:37,971 --> 01:16:40,182
- Hey!
- I'm sorry!

1670
01:16:40,349 --> 01:16:42,142
I'm sorry, I got it. I got it.

1671
01:16:45,062 --> 01:16:46,230
Oh, no.

1672
01:16:46,397 --> 01:16:47,815
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Are you okay?

1673
01:16:47,981 --> 01:16:49,733
Hey, it's glass, man.
Why you picking it up?

1674
01:16:49,900 --> 01:16:51,110
I'm just trying to help out, man.

1675
01:16:51,318 --> 01:16:53,195
- Come on.
- Oh, shit!

1676
01:16:55,739 --> 01:16:56,907
Holy shit!

1677
01:16:57,491 --> 01:16:58,575
I'm sorry!

1678
01:16:59,660 --> 01:17:01,578
The Jewish guy crucified the Messiah!

1679
01:17:01,745 --> 01:17:04,248
It was rabbi dancing motherfucker!

1680
01:17:05,332 --> 01:17:08,168
It's happening again!

1681
01:17:09,586 --> 01:17:12,673
Ethan! Ethan!
Diana!

1682
01:17:13,632 --> 01:17:14,800
Congratulations!

1683
01:17:14,967 --> 01:17:17,553
- No! Stop congratulating me!
- What? What happened?

1684
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:19,638
Just go talk to Ethan.

1685
01:17:19,805 --> 01:17:21,098
Shit.

1686
01:17:21,724 --> 01:17:24,935
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I think he's gonna be fine.

1687
01:17:25,102 --> 01:17:26,103
Please, punch him in the face!

1688
01:17:26,270 --> 01:17:28,397
I thought the Messiah
preached forgiveness!

1689
01:17:28,564 --> 01:17:30,482
Look at me, asshole.
What the fuck wrong with you?

1690
01:17:30,649 --> 01:17:33,569
- Who the fuck are you?
- Hey. He's my friend!

1691
01:17:33,736 --> 01:17:34,945
Back off, man!

1692
01:17:36,864 --> 01:17:38,574
Yo! Back the fuck up, all right?

1693
01:17:38,741 --> 01:17:41,243
Oh, shit just got real, huh?
Yeah, go ahead and punch him, man.

1694
01:17:41,785 --> 01:17:43,037
TMZ will love that shit.

1695
01:17:43,203 --> 01:17:45,330
I got the biggest motherfucking phone
on the planet.

1696
01:17:45,497 --> 01:17:48,083
And your ass will be trending
in 10 minutes.

1697
01:17:48,250 --> 01:17:50,878
Who in here follow Chrisrob11?

1698
01:17:51,045 --> 01:17:52,463
Put your fucking hands down!

1699
01:17:52,629 --> 01:17:54,798
- His social media game is crazy!
- Crazy!

1700
01:17:54,965 --> 01:17:56,508
Run.

1701
01:17:56,884 --> 01:17:58,927
Go, go. Get out there. No! No!

1702
01:17:59,094 --> 01:18:00,346
No. No! No!

1703
01:18:00,512 --> 01:18:01,555
Yeah!

1704
01:18:01,722 --> 01:18:04,767
- No, no!
- I'm a lawyer! I'm a lawyer!

1705
01:18:18,572 --> 01:18:22,242
- Magical night, isn't it?
- Jesus. You scared me.

1706
01:18:22,743 --> 01:18:24,370
Mr. Green.

1707
01:18:24,995 --> 01:18:26,413
Man, you're everywhere tonight.

1708
01:18:27,623 --> 01:18:29,917
I end every Christmas at this party.

1709
01:18:30,084 --> 01:18:31,502
What do you mean? How do you get in?

1710
01:18:31,669 --> 01:18:32,961
It's my party.

1711
01:18:33,128 --> 01:18:34,129
What?

1712
01:18:34,588 --> 01:18:36,340
About 20 years ago...

1713
01:18:36,507 --> 01:18:38,676
I read <i>The Great Gatsby</i>.

1714
01:18:39,385 --> 01:18:41,053
I love that book.

1715
01:18:41,220 --> 01:18:43,472
Movie's all right,
3D gives me a headache...

1716
01:18:43,639 --> 01:18:45,683
but I'm a sucker for Leo.

1717
01:18:47,601 --> 01:18:48,936
So this guy...

1718
01:18:49,103 --> 01:18:52,147
he throws all these parties
and nobody knows who he is.

1719
01:18:52,648 --> 01:18:55,317
I thought,
"Wow, that's pretty fucking cool."

1720
01:18:55,818 --> 01:18:58,737
My cousin Larry's got this
giant warehouse in Brooklyn...

1721
01:18:58,904 --> 01:19:02,533
figured I'm working on Christmas
anyway, so I should do it too.

1722
01:19:02,700 --> 01:19:04,910
We started out pretty small.

1723
01:19:05,077 --> 01:19:07,871
Just a punch bowl and some sleigh bells...

1724
01:19:08,038 --> 01:19:12,626
and it gets bigger and bigger every year.
This year we added that train.

1725
01:19:12,793 --> 01:19:14,712
Through the trippy tunnel of lights.

1726
01:19:14,878 --> 01:19:16,755
- Cool way to enter a party, right?
- Yeah.

1727
01:19:18,465 --> 01:19:19,717
What'd you think of Miley?

1728
01:19:20,134 --> 01:19:22,428
Yeah, she was great.
She was great.

1729
01:19:24,346 --> 01:19:27,182
Ethan, you and I both know,
Miley was flawless.

1730
01:19:28,726 --> 01:19:30,561
Something's bugging you.

1731
01:19:34,189 --> 01:19:37,067
Your friends, they ain't gonna leave you.

1732
01:19:37,693 --> 01:19:38,861
They need you, kid.

1733
01:19:39,445 --> 01:19:40,612
How do you know about that?

1734
01:19:42,072 --> 01:19:43,907
Smoke this.

1735
01:19:44,366 --> 01:19:47,411
Nah, I'm good, man.
Weed makes me paranoid now.

1736
01:19:47,745 --> 01:19:50,706
This is the staff of life.

1737
01:19:50,956 --> 01:19:52,624
Okay.

1738
01:19:52,791 --> 01:19:54,460
You're making me a little uncomfortable.

1739
01:19:54,626 --> 01:19:58,464
I've been told my quiet intensity
has that effect on people.

1740
01:19:59,131 --> 01:20:00,883
But sometimes...

1741
01:20:01,050 --> 01:20:03,927
being uncomfortable can be a good thing.

1742
01:20:19,318 --> 01:20:21,779
Fuck it. Thanks.

1743
01:20:38,087 --> 01:20:39,338
- Hey.
- Hey, man.

1744
01:20:39,505 --> 01:20:41,674
- Sup, dude?
- What are you guys doing here?

1745
01:20:41,840 --> 01:20:44,843
We just thought maybe
you'd wanna hang out.

1746
01:20:45,010 --> 01:20:46,762
Some company or something.

1747
01:20:46,929 --> 01:20:48,931
Just say what's up.

1748
01:20:49,098 --> 01:20:50,474
That's cool.

1749
01:20:50,641 --> 01:20:52,309
I'm packing all this shit up.

1750
01:20:52,476 --> 01:20:54,812
Old people have so much stuff.
You guys remember that.

1751
01:20:54,978 --> 01:20:56,980
You have to throw things away in life.

1752
01:20:57,147 --> 01:20:58,774
For sure.

1753
01:21:01,360 --> 01:21:03,779
- Play some Nintendo?
- Yeah, N64?

1754
01:21:03,946 --> 01:21:06,240
I think I'm just gonna chill here.

1755
01:21:06,407 --> 01:21:09,743
I appreciate you guys coming over,
but I think I'm just gonna...

1756
01:21:09,910 --> 01:21:12,746
No, man. Fuck that, dude.
It's Christmas.

1757
01:21:12,913 --> 01:21:14,957
You can't be alone.
Let's hang out.

1758
01:21:17,334 --> 01:21:20,129
Go to my mom's house.
Play some "GoldenEye."

1759
01:21:20,295 --> 01:21:22,798
Come on. Look, I got some whiskey.

1760
01:21:22,965 --> 01:21:24,925
I stole some hash from my brother.
Rolled it in this doob.

1761
01:21:25,092 --> 01:21:27,386
We get pretty fucked up.

1762
01:21:34,601 --> 01:21:35,728
I'm sorry.

1763
01:21:35,894 --> 01:21:37,730
- No. It's cool.
- It's all good, man.

1764
01:21:37,896 --> 01:21:39,565
It's okay, man.

1765
01:21:46,363 --> 01:21:47,990
I just miss them.

1766
01:21:49,158 --> 01:21:50,284
We miss them too.

1767
01:21:50,451 --> 01:21:51,952
Yeah, man.

1768
01:21:52,119 --> 01:21:53,829
But you know what?

1769
01:21:53,996 --> 01:21:55,998
We're your new family now.

1770
01:21:56,165 --> 01:21:58,083
I'll be your daddy,
Chris'll be your mommy.

1771
01:21:58,250 --> 01:21:59,793
No, I'm gonna be the daddy,
you be the mom.

1772
01:22:01,378 --> 01:22:02,671
You guys are good friends.

1773
01:22:02,838 --> 01:22:04,214
We'll be here whenever you need us, man.

1774
01:22:04,381 --> 01:22:05,424
Always, man.

1775
01:22:05,591 --> 01:22:07,843
Yeah, always there for you, bro.

1776
01:22:10,763 --> 01:22:13,390
You can't smoke that in here.

1777
01:22:13,557 --> 01:22:15,267
Figure we can now.

1778
01:22:16,852 --> 01:22:18,479
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1779
01:22:18,645 --> 01:22:20,397
- Fuck, that's crazy.
- What we hiding this for?

1780
01:22:20,564 --> 01:22:21,899
Take a hit, dude.

1781
01:22:22,066 --> 01:22:23,442
A little bit for the homeys.

1782
01:22:23,609 --> 01:22:25,235
It's so cold outside too.

1783
01:22:25,819 --> 01:22:28,822
We should go to Christmas Tree
at Rockefeller Center.

1784
01:22:28,989 --> 01:22:30,616
- Yes.
- That's a good idea.

1785
01:22:30,783 --> 01:22:32,284
Then we go to FAO Schwarz....

1786
01:22:32,451 --> 01:22:34,036
And we dance on the piano!

1787
01:22:34,203 --> 01:22:36,205
- Like Tom Hanks in <i>Big.</i>
- "Heart and Soul."

1788
01:22:36,372 --> 01:22:38,499
Then we eat Chinese food,
because I'm fucking high.

1789
01:22:38,665 --> 01:22:41,335
And then go to the karaoke spot
right by the Chinese food place.

1790
01:22:41,502 --> 01:22:43,754
That's a fucking good idea.

1791
01:22:44,046 --> 01:22:45,673
It's a dope night.

1792
01:22:52,596 --> 01:22:54,932
That was fucking touching, yo.

1793
01:22:56,225 --> 01:22:58,727
Those are some ride-or-die homeys
you got there.

1794
01:22:58,894 --> 01:23:00,896
Cherish that shit.

1795
01:23:02,147 --> 01:23:03,982
It's all different now.

1796
01:23:04,483 --> 01:23:06,151
Those guys don't need me anymore.

1797
01:23:06,610 --> 01:23:08,487
Oh, yeah? Listen.

1798
01:23:08,654 --> 01:23:11,073
We need him!
We're not leaving without him!

1799
01:23:11,240 --> 01:23:13,450
He's my best friend in the whole world.
I can't leave him here.

1800
01:23:13,617 --> 01:23:16,245
Don't let the red noses fool you,
these fuckers are tough.

1801
01:23:16,412 --> 01:23:18,038
What if I run in,
and you try to climb in a window?

1802
01:23:18,205 --> 01:23:19,957
Maybe if you boost me up
we can get around them.

1803
01:23:20,124 --> 01:23:21,667
No, I can't boost you,
you're too heavy, man.

1804
01:23:21,834 --> 01:23:24,086
We need our friend
and we'll never leave him behind!

1805
01:23:24,253 --> 01:23:26,839
- Hand him over, reindeer!
- Yo!

1806
01:23:27,006 --> 01:23:28,048
I'll charge and you go.

1807
01:23:28,215 --> 01:23:29,383
- There he is!
- Hey!

1808
01:23:29,550 --> 01:23:31,385
Thank God, we've been
looking everywhere for you!

1809
01:23:31,552 --> 01:23:32,845
Rudolph is kicking our ass!

1810
01:23:33,012 --> 01:23:34,972
- I'm here!
- Get down here so we can go!

1811
01:23:35,139 --> 01:23:36,140
Here I come!

1812
01:23:36,306 --> 01:23:38,225
Come around!

1813
01:23:39,601 --> 01:23:41,061
I got your nose!

1814
01:23:41,228 --> 01:23:43,063
I got your nose, asshole!

1815
01:23:43,230 --> 01:23:45,649
How about that, Rudolph?

1816
01:23:47,443 --> 01:23:49,570
- Thanks, Mr. Green.
- You're welcome.

1817
01:23:57,786 --> 01:23:59,288
It was a pretty dumb thing you did.

1818
01:23:59,455 --> 01:24:01,040
I know. I didn't think it through at all.

1819
01:24:01,206 --> 01:24:02,958
I just saw her at the bar and just....

1820
01:24:03,125 --> 01:24:05,627
I don't know man,
I really, really like this girl.

1821
01:24:05,794 --> 01:24:07,338
I can't help it.

1822
01:24:07,504 --> 01:24:11,133
I was scared of being alone
and did some stupid shit.

1823
01:24:11,842 --> 01:24:13,385
I think she just wanted you to do...

1824
01:24:13,552 --> 01:24:16,347
some normal shit that boyfriends do
after two years of dating.

1825
01:24:16,513 --> 01:24:18,807
But I'm not normal. You know this.
I'm not normal.

1826
01:24:18,974 --> 01:24:21,185
Bunch of abnormal shit happened to me.

1827
01:24:21,643 --> 01:24:24,229
Or, I don't know,
maybe that's just an excuse.

1828
01:24:25,939 --> 01:24:28,108
I guess I'm pretty good at making excuses.

1829
01:24:28,275 --> 01:24:29,943
- Yeah.
- All the time.

1830
01:24:30,110 --> 01:24:32,905
If you get paid for that
you'd be really successful.

1831
01:24:33,072 --> 01:24:34,239
Why didn't you tell me?

1832
01:24:34,406 --> 01:24:36,158
You know, it's hard to tell someone.

1833
01:24:36,325 --> 01:24:38,077
You have a good reason
to be making excuses.

1834
01:24:38,243 --> 01:24:39,661
It's just kind of ruining your life.

1835
01:24:44,166 --> 01:24:46,794
It's harder to stay friends with people
when you're older.

1836
01:24:46,960 --> 01:24:49,630
You have so much
of your own shit going on.

1837
01:24:49,797 --> 01:24:51,965
We'll just have to try harder.

1838
01:24:52,132 --> 01:24:53,676
It's important, you know?

1839
01:24:54,009 --> 01:24:55,469
Come on.

1840
01:24:55,969 --> 01:24:57,721
I really love you.

1841
01:24:57,888 --> 01:24:59,014
I love you a lot.

1842
01:24:59,181 --> 01:25:00,474
Thanks, man.

1843
01:25:02,559 --> 01:25:03,602
Oh, no.

1844
01:25:04,770 --> 01:25:06,605
- Oh, no.
- What's up?

1845
01:25:06,772 --> 01:25:07,773
I have 96 missed calls.

1846
01:25:08,607 --> 01:25:09,608
Holy shit.

1847
01:25:09,775 --> 01:25:13,028
- Oh, no, Betsy's gone into labor, I bet.
- No.

1848
01:25:13,195 --> 01:25:15,739
Why the fuck would she call that
many times? Oh, no, she's calling again.

1849
01:25:16,615 --> 01:25:17,616
Hello?

1850
01:25:18,200 --> 01:25:20,786
Hello? Yes. All right.

1851
01:25:20,953 --> 01:25:23,372
All right. That's fine.

1852
01:25:23,539 --> 01:25:27,251
I will be right there.
As fast as I can. Don't worry.

1853
01:25:29,169 --> 01:25:30,629
Betsy's going into fucking labor.

1854
01:25:30,796 --> 01:25:32,381
- What?
- What?

1855
01:25:35,217 --> 01:25:37,011
Oh, no! Oh, no!

1856
01:25:37,177 --> 01:25:39,221
- Come on!
- Oh, no!

1857
01:25:40,431 --> 01:25:43,017
We'll never get a fucking cab over here!

1858
01:25:43,183 --> 01:25:44,393
Wait, look!

1859
01:25:45,936 --> 01:25:48,522
It's Mr. Green's car!
It's a Christmas miracle!

1860
01:25:48,689 --> 01:25:50,149
- Isaac, can you drive?
- Yeah!

1861
01:25:50,315 --> 01:25:52,651
No, no, no, I'm kidding! I'll drive!

1862
01:26:02,077 --> 01:26:04,705
I believe I finally earned these.

1863
01:26:11,086 --> 01:26:12,921
Come on. I got you. I got you.

1864
01:26:13,088 --> 01:26:16,008
No, no, no. There you go.
There you go.

1865
01:26:17,885 --> 01:26:20,346
Get out of the way!

1866
01:26:28,187 --> 01:26:30,272
Where is she? Where is she?

1867
01:26:33,317 --> 01:26:35,778
Cindy? Where is she?
Is everything okay?

1868
01:26:35,944 --> 01:26:37,696
It's okay. Nothing happened.

1869
01:26:37,863 --> 01:26:38,906
It was a false alarm.

1870
01:26:39,073 --> 01:26:40,574
Oh, God!

1871
01:26:40,741 --> 01:26:42,326
False alarm!

1872
01:26:42,701 --> 01:26:43,786
Betsy?

1873
01:26:43,952 --> 01:26:45,371
Thank God. I'm so sorry.

1874
01:26:45,537 --> 01:26:46,789
Where were you?

1875
01:26:46,955 --> 01:26:48,290
I made a mistake.
I made a huge mistake.

1876
01:26:48,457 --> 01:26:49,583
I called you.

1877
01:26:49,750 --> 01:26:52,169
- I switched phones with Sarah.
- From work?

1878
01:26:52,336 --> 01:26:54,088
It's a long story.

1879
01:26:54,254 --> 01:26:56,799
It doesn't matter. I just need to
tell you something. Okay?

1880
01:26:56,965 --> 01:26:58,300
Okay.

1881
01:26:58,967 --> 01:27:00,469
I'm gonna come clean with you.

1882
01:27:00,636 --> 01:27:02,596
Those drugs you gave me...

1883
01:27:02,763 --> 01:27:04,765
they sent me on a spirit quest.

1884
01:27:04,932 --> 01:27:07,976
You know, like a spirit quest
in an Oliver Stone movie or <i>Young Guns.</i>

1885
01:27:08,143 --> 01:27:10,646
And when that happened
I kind of realized...

1886
01:27:10,813 --> 01:27:14,233
that maybe I've been lying to, maybe,
myself and you...

1887
01:27:14,400 --> 01:27:17,194
about how I really feel about some stuff.

1888
01:27:17,361 --> 01:27:18,404
I'm just gonna show you this.

1889
01:27:18,570 --> 01:27:21,115
- Just watch this.
- Okay.

1890
01:27:21,281 --> 01:27:23,575
<i>This baby is a bad fucking call.
I'm not ready for it!</i>

1891
01:27:23,742 --> 01:27:26,328
<i>We got to do this responsible thing
and I got to say...</i>

1892
01:27:26,495 --> 01:27:28,372
<i>that we should not be having this baby!</i>

1893
01:27:28,539 --> 01:27:30,207
<i>But get rid of this fucking baby!</i>

1894
01:27:30,374 --> 01:27:32,292
<i>Put it in a bag and leave it somewhere!</i>

1895
01:27:32,459 --> 01:27:34,795
<i>Put it in a basket
and push it down a fucking river!</i>

1896
01:27:34,962 --> 01:27:37,006
- Are you laughing?
- This is hilarious.

1897
01:27:37,172 --> 01:27:39,758
<i>- Cunt!</i>
- Did you just call our baby a cunt?

1898
01:27:39,925 --> 01:27:41,260
I forgot about that.

1899
01:27:41,427 --> 01:27:43,804
Okay, I can't watch anymore.

1900
01:27:43,971 --> 01:27:45,848
But honestly, I'm a little relieved.

1901
01:27:46,015 --> 01:27:47,391
- You are?
- Are you kidding me!

1902
01:27:47,558 --> 01:27:50,936
I feel like such a dumb asshole
compared to you sometimes.

1903
01:27:51,103 --> 01:27:53,772
It's all been a lie. It's all been a front,
because I'm fucking freaking out.

1904
01:27:53,939 --> 01:27:56,525
It's all just been to compensate
for the fact that I don't know anything.

1905
01:27:56,692 --> 01:27:57,943
This is good. You need to let it out.

1906
01:27:58,110 --> 01:27:59,570
This is good?

1907
01:27:59,737 --> 01:28:01,572
Yes. You need to not bottle it up.

1908
01:28:01,739 --> 01:28:03,657
One of us has to be not freaking out.

1909
01:28:03,824 --> 01:28:06,035
- I'm actually okay.
- Really?

1910
01:28:06,201 --> 01:28:09,038
All of a sudden I was just thinking
about everything you've been saying...

1911
01:28:09,204 --> 01:28:12,583
about how strong we are,
and how we can handle it.

1912
01:28:12,750 --> 01:28:14,251
And that made me feel better.

1913
01:28:14,418 --> 01:28:15,461
Really?

1914
01:28:15,627 --> 01:28:18,714
Yeah. I really feel like I can do this.

1915
01:28:19,548 --> 01:28:20,924
Look at me.

1916
01:28:21,091 --> 01:28:23,635
- I'm your rock.
- You're my rock?

1917
01:28:23,802 --> 01:28:24,803
I'm Dwayne.

1918
01:28:24,970 --> 01:28:26,805
I get to have sex
with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

1919
01:28:27,264 --> 01:28:29,058
I love you, Isaac.

1920
01:28:29,683 --> 01:28:31,393
I love you, dragon.

1921
01:28:31,560 --> 01:28:32,978
Betsy.

1922
01:28:34,188 --> 01:28:37,024
Did you say "Dragon Betsy"?

1923
01:28:37,191 --> 01:28:38,400
I'm gonna keep being honest.

1924
01:28:38,567 --> 01:28:41,695
I'm tripping my fucking balls off still,
and you look like a dragon right now.

1925
01:28:41,862 --> 01:28:42,988
- I do?
- Yeah.

1926
01:28:45,491 --> 01:28:46,533
Is that scary?

1927
01:28:46,700 --> 01:28:47,785
It's intense.

1928
01:28:48,994 --> 01:28:51,455
Let's just go. Can we just go?
Let's just go.

1929
01:28:55,876 --> 01:28:57,419
That's nice.

1930
01:29:03,592 --> 01:29:05,219
What is it?

1931
01:29:10,849 --> 01:29:13,227
Couldn't have been easy to tell me that.

1932
01:29:14,395 --> 01:29:17,523
It's not gonna be easy
to tell the world either.

1933
01:29:18,023 --> 01:29:19,900
Guess we gonna lose the park, huh?

1934
01:29:20,067 --> 01:29:22,528
Fuck that park. It got crackheads.

1935
01:29:23,904 --> 01:29:25,531
Say the grace, boy.

1936
01:29:25,698 --> 01:29:27,408
Yes, ma'am.

1937
01:29:28,951 --> 01:29:31,829
Heavenly Father, thank you
for this food we're about to receive.

1938
01:29:31,995 --> 01:29:34,164
Thank you for my momma.

1939
01:29:34,331 --> 01:29:37,876
Thank you for my friends
and their families.

1940
01:30:10,951 --> 01:30:13,162
- Hi.
- Really?

1941
01:30:14,288 --> 01:30:15,581
Are you gonna propose to me again?

1942
01:30:15,748 --> 01:30:16,999
- No.
- Are you sure?

1943
01:30:17,166 --> 01:30:18,751
I just wanted to talk to you.

1944
01:30:18,917 --> 01:30:20,419
And I have something to tell you...

1945
01:30:20,586 --> 01:30:23,380
and I wanna tell it on Christmas.
If that's all right? So...

1946
01:30:23,547 --> 01:30:25,799
it can't wait. Can you just
come out here for a sec and we'll talk...

1947
01:30:25,966 --> 01:30:27,634
and then I'll go. I promise.

1948
01:30:31,805 --> 01:30:33,349
Okay. Fine.

1949
01:30:35,267 --> 01:30:36,268
What?

1950
01:30:36,643 --> 01:30:38,812
First of all, I'm sorry about last night.

1951
01:30:38,979 --> 01:30:41,357
- I know that was stupid.
- Yeah.

1952
01:30:44,735 --> 01:30:48,030
And it was totally crazy
that I wouldn't meet your parents.

1953
01:30:48,197 --> 01:30:50,449
That was just me being really....

1954
01:30:50,616 --> 01:30:52,576
Yeah. I agree with that.

1955
01:30:53,118 --> 01:30:55,662
But I guess I was...

1956
01:30:56,789 --> 01:30:58,165
I don't know, scared...

1957
01:30:58,332 --> 01:31:01,669
because Chris and Isaac have been
my family for the last 10 years...

1958
01:31:02,169 --> 01:31:04,380
so I didn't wanna meet your family...

1959
01:31:04,546 --> 01:31:06,840
because that would change everything.

1960
01:31:07,007 --> 01:31:09,051
But everything changes, right?
We all grow up...

1961
01:31:10,177 --> 01:31:12,429
and that's a good thing,
I wanna grow up. I do.

1962
01:31:14,598 --> 01:31:16,558
I wanna grow up with you.

1963
01:31:17,768 --> 01:31:19,269
And I do wanna have a family...

1964
01:31:20,354 --> 01:31:22,564
other than two dudes.

1965
01:31:23,107 --> 01:31:27,319
But I want that family to....

1966
01:31:28,696 --> 01:31:30,656
I want it to be you.

1967
01:31:31,448 --> 01:31:35,953
Which is probably worse than proposing...

1968
01:31:36,120 --> 01:31:39,331
because now we're talking
about you bearing my children.

1969
01:31:39,498 --> 01:31:40,916
Yeah. It's a lot.

1970
01:31:41,542 --> 01:31:45,379
But just pretend I'm saying it right,
if you could.

1971
01:31:46,880 --> 01:31:48,757
I'd rather be the guy, from now on...

1972
01:31:48,924 --> 01:31:51,635
who says too much than not enough.

1973
01:31:51,802 --> 01:31:56,056
If we're being honest,
I should apologize to you also...

1974
01:31:56,223 --> 01:31:58,809
for stalking you, a little bit.

1975
01:31:59,393 --> 01:32:02,438
I knew that you were gonna be
at that bar last night.

1976
01:32:03,105 --> 01:32:05,024
You pretended
like that was just coincidence.

1977
01:32:05,190 --> 01:32:06,817
I did. And also...

1978
01:32:06,984 --> 01:32:09,069
if we're confessing things...

1979
01:32:10,029 --> 01:32:14,033
I do ask Betsy about you.

1980
01:32:14,575 --> 01:32:16,201
Kind of all the time.

1981
01:32:16,368 --> 01:32:17,619
She doesn't let on.

1982
01:32:17,786 --> 01:32:19,455
I know. Because she's my friend.

1983
01:32:19,621 --> 01:32:21,206
I ask her about you every time I see her.

1984
01:32:21,373 --> 01:32:22,875
Oh, I know.

1985
01:32:23,792 --> 01:32:25,377
She tells me every time you ask.

1986
01:32:25,544 --> 01:32:26,795
She doesn't tell me that you ask her.

1987
01:32:26,962 --> 01:32:28,047
She's a girl. That's how it works.

1988
01:32:31,425 --> 01:32:32,885
Can I come in?

1989
01:32:33,218 --> 01:32:34,636
In here?

1990
01:32:35,596 --> 01:32:38,015
- This is my parents' house.
- I know.

1991
01:32:38,182 --> 01:32:41,810
I thought that you didn't do parents.

1992
01:32:41,977 --> 01:32:43,395
I'll do your parents.

1993
01:32:44,438 --> 01:32:46,023
Wow. Nice.

1994
01:32:46,190 --> 01:32:49,360
Don't do my dad doggy-style.
He's got very bad knees.

1995
01:32:50,277 --> 01:32:52,363
He's an old man now.

1996
01:32:55,074 --> 01:32:56,408
All right.

1997
01:32:56,992 --> 01:32:58,494
- Hey.
- Yo.

1998
01:32:58,660 --> 01:33:00,913
I kind of wanna kiss you...

1999
01:33:01,080 --> 01:33:03,957
but maybe not so soon
after saying I would do your parents.

2000
01:33:21,350 --> 01:33:24,687
Come have sex
with my mother and my father.

2001
01:33:24,853 --> 01:33:26,397
I thought you were saying,
"Come have sex."

2002
01:33:26,563 --> 01:33:28,941
With my mother and also my father.

2003
01:33:51,505 --> 01:33:52,673
She won't sleep.

2004
01:33:52,840 --> 01:33:54,800
- Can we try?
- Are you sure?

2005
01:33:54,967 --> 01:33:56,427
Showtime. Let's do it.

2006
01:33:56,593 --> 01:33:58,220
Thank you.

2007
01:33:58,887 --> 01:34:00,014
Hey, sweetie.

2008
01:34:00,180 --> 01:34:01,181
This is the best.

2009
01:34:01,348 --> 01:34:03,183
Come here, little sweetie.
Come here.

2010
01:34:03,767 --> 01:34:05,185
Come here, sweetie.

2011
01:34:05,352 --> 01:34:07,396
Look who it is. Who are these guys?

2012
01:34:07,563 --> 01:34:09,314
Look at that.

2013
01:34:09,481 --> 01:34:11,483
Who are these guys here?

2014
01:34:11,650 --> 01:34:13,777
- Should we do it?
- Yeah, do it.

2015
01:34:47,853 --> 01:34:49,855
That's good. Wow.

2016
01:34:53,692 --> 01:34:55,527
How was that for a Christmas story?

2017
01:34:55,694 --> 01:34:57,363
That was nice!

2018
01:34:57,529 --> 01:34:58,739
That was some shit!

2019
01:34:58,906 --> 01:35:01,450
Shit happened! Things went down!

2020
01:35:01,617 --> 01:35:03,035
Lessons were learned.

2021
01:35:03,202 --> 01:35:05,829
Friends are important,
but relationships evolve.

2022
01:35:05,996 --> 01:35:08,582
I'm so glad Ethan and Diana
ended up together.

2023
01:35:08,749 --> 01:35:10,209
I hope he get her pregnant.

2024
01:35:10,376 --> 01:35:12,252
I'd like to give a special shout-out
to my seed...

2025
01:35:12,419 --> 01:35:14,963
for killing it again this Christmas.

2026
01:35:15,589 --> 01:35:17,007
Best I ever did it!

2027
01:35:17,174 --> 01:35:19,176
Shit, Pop. Thanks.

2028
01:35:19,677 --> 01:35:20,886
Thanks for noticing.

2029
01:35:21,053 --> 01:35:23,180
Right now, let the after-party begin!

2030
01:35:23,347 --> 01:35:24,515
DJ Kevy Kev!

2031
01:35:24,682 --> 01:35:26,392
Let's turn it up!

2032
01:35:27,476 --> 01:35:30,312
Turn it up, now! Holla!