1 00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:18,751 HAMMOND: Hello! 2 00:00:18,753 --> 00:00:21,286 CLARKSON: Thank you, everybody, thank you. 3 00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:25,357 And welcome to what is a Top Gear Special, 4 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:29,762 a two-part adventure around the heart of Africa. 5 00:00:29,764 --> 00:00:33,465 We were each told to buy a second-hand estate car 6 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,835 here in Britain for not more than 1,500 quid. 7 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:39,772 And then we were told to report, with our cars, 8 00:00:39,774 --> 00:00:44,276 to the start line, which was in a small village in rural Uganda. 9 00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:48,547 So, you've seen Sir David Attenborough's take on Africa, 10 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,682 now it's time to see ours. 11 00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:05,164 CLARKSON: I was the first to arrive 12 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:09,101 and I was feeling a bit nervous. 13 00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:15,407 As you can see, I've gone for a BMW 528i. 14 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,310 And on the Internet it looked fantastic. 15 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:21,647 But I've now had the chance to examine it more closely, 16 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:25,717 and one or two things are giving me cause for concern. 17 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:28,454 For example, it's got a manual gearbox. 18 00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:31,523 Now that tells me the previous owner was the sort of chap 19 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:35,327 that likes to take it to the max between gear changes. 20 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,396 Secondly, the front tyres are Pirellis, 21 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:42,167 the back tyres are made by a company I've never heard of. 22 00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:46,171 So that tells me it's been run on a tight budget. 23 00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:49,308 I don't know what the challenge is going to be, 24 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,376 but I'm going to be doing it like that. 25 00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:52,377 -(ENGINE REVVING) -Oh, hang on. 26 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:56,381 That is the throb of a turbocharged flat-four engine. 27 00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:57,783 A sound which, all over the world, 28 00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:01,453 heralds the imminent arrival of a moron. 29 00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:04,389 JEREMY: And it did here, too. 30 00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:07,993 It's Richard Hammond, everybody. 31 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:12,197 Who I suspect has started to dye his hair. 32 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:14,199 See what you think. 33 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,768 -Hammond! -And there it is. 34 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:17,636 It is, yes. 35 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,204 It is. Well, there can be only one word. 36 00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:21,607 Legend. Subaru Impreza WRX estate. 37 00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:25,477 And driven by emeritus professors all over the world. 38 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,380 Yeah. No, no. Just hang on. Here's my gut thinking. 39 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,448 I don't know what's gonna face us, 40 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:32,217 what challenges face us here, but think about it. 41 00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:34,186 Subaru stands for Toughest-Thing-On-The-Planet. 42 00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:38,190 WRX stands for world rallycross, which the Impreza just owned. 43 00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:41,727 It's all there. Four-wheel-drive, turbocharged estate. 44 00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:44,696 But you're going to look stupid doing it. 45 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:45,430 I don't have to look. 46 00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:47,599 I know I'm wearing double denim, and that is a mistake, 47 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,568 but you've got Daktari trousers on, 48 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:52,804 and the wheels of the agri-yob. 49 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,840 It looks a bit like you. 50 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:55,707 What? 51 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:56,708 You know, small. 52 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,244 And with a sort of surprised... 53 00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:00,979 A tree! A house! 54 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,582 Well, then, that's perfect. My face in that car. 55 00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,117 Honestly, I'm so chuffed. 56 00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:06,718 This time I've done this right. 57 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,720 -CLARKSON: Big boot. -Practical. 58 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,756 -Practical? -So, what have you got? Oh! 59 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:14,793 528i, rear wheel drive, 2.8 straight-six. 60 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,061 HAMMOND: How many miles has it done? 61 00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:21,166 151,000. This, though, is the last of the mechanical 5-series. 62 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:24,203 After this, they started using computers. 63 00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:25,370 What, they're solid state? 64 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,574 This is simple, mechanical engineering. 65 00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,442 -Anyway, listen. -Yes? 66 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,643 -James isn't here. -No. 67 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,212 No surprises there. 68 00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:36,048 I know for a fact what he's got. 69 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:38,217 -Go on. -He'll have a Volvo. 70 00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:39,084 Yeah. 71 00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,519 -He just will. -Yes, yes, yes. 72 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:43,789 Because you know he's got no imagination at all. 73 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:47,659 CLARKSON: As it turned out, James did have a Volvo, 74 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:51,730 but not the sort of Volvo we were expecting. 75 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:55,067 -That isn't an 850 R, is it? -It is, it is! 76 00:03:55,368 --> 00:03:56,735 That's a bold call! 77 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,270 -Gentlemen. -Yes? 78 00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,038 CLARKSON: You bought an 850 R? 79 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,140 It doesn't matter, it's a Volvo. 80 00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:03,275 This defines the estate car. 81 00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,477 Nothing else is an estate car, only this. 82 00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,312 Have you seen the tyres on an 850 R? 83 00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:08,580 HAMMOND: Well, there aren't any. 84 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,548 -MAY: It has tyres. -Painted on. 85 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,150 It's just a thin veneer of paint on a wheel. 86 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:15,420 But they're high-performance tyres. It's a high-performance car. 87 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,456 -It does 146 miles an hour. -Standing on dust! 88 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,491 Do you remember British Touring Car Championships? 89 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,260 -These were great fun to watch. -Yes. 90 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:24,196 -And they were on dirt tracks, weren't they? -No. 91 00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:24,763 -Racetracks. -Yes. 92 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,499 Do you think when Volvo sat down to design the 850 R, 93 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,600 they said, "Now, Africa. 94 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,736 "We need to try and get some market share over there, 95 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:34,506 "so let's lower the suspension, fit very low profile tyres." 96 00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:37,743 They didn't think that in so many words, 97 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:41,113 but when you design a Volvo, you design it for everything. 98 00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:43,448 It doesn't look at home, does it? 99 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,750 That looks at home. 100 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,351 That looks at home on the M4 101 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,420 in the outside lane, too close to the car in front, 102 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:52,691 being driven by an embittered toner distribution manager. 103 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,426 (LAUGHING) He's right. 104 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,727 MAY: Let's be honest. 105 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,429 That's going to beach. 106 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,064 -It's not. -It is! 107 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:02,734 CLARKSON: As we argued, a challenge arrived. 108 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,336 Oh, hello. 109 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,471 Thank you. 110 00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:07,339 Oh! 111 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:13,045 "You will find the source of the River Nile." 112 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,080 -That's it? -That's it. 113 00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:18,417 Oh, so we're Livingstone, Burton and Speke! 114 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:21,987 -Yes, we are. -And I have the right car! 115 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,622 Oh, come on, for exploring. 116 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,991 If Livingstone was still alive... 117 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,225 -He's not, is he? -(CLARKSON CHUCKLING) 118 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:30,295 No. Ken Livingstone is, but it's not Ken Livingstone. 119 00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:32,464 If the other explorer Livingstone bloke were alive, 120 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:34,199 he would drive a Subaru Impreza WRX estate. 121 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:38,537 Yeah, but Speke, my favourite of all the Victorian explorers... 122 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,572 (CLICKS TONGUE) Beemer man. 123 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:41,606 -Was he? -Yeah. 124 00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,575 So we just go that way? 125 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:47,612 Well, do you know, I'd head downhill, personally. 126 00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:50,415 Oh, no, no. Uphill! 127 00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:51,083 Right, uphill. 128 00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:53,452 Looking for the source of a river, uphill. 129 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,055 Here we go. 130 00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,960 -The source of the... -(CLANGING NOISE) 131 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:05,997 The source of the River Nile. 132 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:13,038 CLARKSON: The Nile, the longest river in the world. 133 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:17,476 A mighty 4,000-mile ribbon of year-round water, 134 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:21,413 running from the heart of Africa to the Mediterranean Sea, 135 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:25,550 bringing life and sustenance to millions. 136 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,019 Finding its source has occupied the minds 137 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:32,724 and claimed the lives of explorers for thousands of years. 138 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,761 Roman legions, Arab traders, 139 00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:36,661 the Victorian British, 140 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:43,201 all have forged a path through the vast heat of this awe-inspiring continent 141 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:48,273 to find where the raging torrent came from. 142 00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:53,445 And today, we would join that illustrious band of brothers. 143 00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:57,115 We would take up the challenge no matter what the perils, 144 00:06:57,117 --> 00:07:01,386 -no matter what the hardships, no matter what... -(SCRATCHING) 145 00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:04,022 I'm sorry to interrupt myself, 146 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:08,660 but I think we have a problem. 147 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:12,164 Um, we found it. 148 00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:16,435 Right. 149 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:21,106 (HAMMOND STUTTERS) 150 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:23,608 That is Lake Victoria. 151 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:24,209 MAY: It is. 152 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,378 CLARKSON: Man has known for 160 years 153 00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:29,014 that Lake Victoria is the source of the Nile, 154 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,483 and it's not like we could miss it. 155 00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,018 -It's big! -MAY: It's quite large. 156 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,553 It is the size of Latvia. 157 00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:35,153 -Is it? -Yeah. 158 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,222 This exploring is not as hard as I thought it would be. 159 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,157 No, my car hasn't suffered at all. 160 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,258 No, I'm fine. 161 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,727 What are we going to do for the rest of... 162 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,095 We're only a few minutes in. 163 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:48,233 We could pretend we haven't. If we stand like this... 164 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:51,036 No, you can't miss it. 165 00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:51,403 What? 166 00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:53,672 Look, we've already found it, you idiot. 167 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,307 That is the source of the Nile. 168 00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,410 "This is not the source of the Nile." 169 00:07:58,412 --> 00:07:59,077 It is. 170 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,513 "The source of the Nile is still disputed. 171 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,483 "The Victorians thought it was Lake Victoria, 172 00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:08,153 "but today we know this huge body of water is fed by many rivers. 173 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:12,123 "One of them is the true source, and even today, in 2012, 174 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:16,127 "experts have not been able to determine which it is. 175 00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:18,163 "You will." 176 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,103 You know what? 177 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,138 This is an opportunity for us 178 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,640 to write ourselves into the history books. 179 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:34,045 I mean, finding the source of the Nile, if we can say this is it... 180 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,981 And then it would be marked on a map, 181 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,983 and we'd be able to go, "That was us." 182 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:38,583 Yeah! 183 00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:39,417 This is quite a big one. 184 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:42,587 That is quite good, actually. I quite like that. 185 00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:43,121 What? 186 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:48,393 It's just that it says experts have not been able to determine which it is. 187 00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:51,062 -Yeah. -Well, where do we fit in? 188 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,231 CLARKSON: We broke out the map, and discovered that 189 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:57,202 two places are currently marked as the source of the Nile. 190 00:08:57,204 --> 00:09:01,706 One in Burundi, found by a Dr. Burkhardt Waldecker, 191 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:05,544 and one in Rwanda, found by Joanna Lumley. 192 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:08,747 And since our source had to be further from the Mediterranean 193 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:14,252 than either of these two, it had to be further south. 194 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,422 Hang on, hang on. 195 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,524 Here's the Nile, okay, but look. 196 00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:23,395 The Nile also comes here, into this lake, 197 00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:27,499 and then this lake, which is connected to that lake. 198 00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:30,435 It doesn't say on the map, but if these two are connected, 199 00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:33,271 look, this will be the source of the Nile, down here. 200 00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,273 Yeah, but if those two were connected, 201 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,075 I think we'd know about it by now, 202 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,410 and they'd have drawn it on. 203 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,210 No, no, you say that, 204 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,479 but David Livingstone thought the source of the Nile was down here. 205 00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:47,052 So what we need to do is go here and establish these two are joined up, 206 00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:50,288 check it out, we're in business. 207 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:54,593 CLARKSON: And so our epic journey began. 208 00:09:55,461 --> 00:10:01,600 A journey that would see us taking on nature at its most brutal. 209 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:07,038 There would be lions, insects and thick, glutinous mud. 210 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:11,309 We'd have to climb every mountain and forge every stream. 211 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:15,113 And we'd have to do it all in three second-hand cars 212 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:19,784 we'd bought for less than 1,500 quid each. 213 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:31,529 Right, my car. 214 00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:34,432 Well, it's got quite a sticky throttle, but other than that, 215 00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:38,203 every single thing works, even the air conditioning. 216 00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:40,071 I've never, ever had a car with 217 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,474 working air conditioning before on one of these trips, 218 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:46,111 but I have now, and it is joyous. 219 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:51,816 The Impreza is all about that engine and drivetrain. 220 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:55,687 You're just aware, constantly, that this is rally-bred. 221 00:10:55,689 --> 00:11:00,792 The other two, they're just sporty versions of ordinary estate cars. 222 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,428 This is the best car here. Fact. 223 00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:09,668 MAY: It's a cracking car, the Volvo 850 R. 224 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,636 This one's done 145,000 miles. 225 00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:15,106 It's just clicked over, in fact, onto that figure, 226 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,274 and you wouldn't really know. 227 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,309 It's so smooth, the transmission is excellent, 228 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:21,312 the engine is silky, everything works. 229 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,748 Except the air conditioning. 230 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:27,118 But at least that saves me the effort of getting really annoyed 231 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,220 when the other two deliberately break it 232 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:33,458 out of spite, jealousy and small-mindedness. 233 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,359 (SIREN BLARES) 234 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:38,396 Crikey! It's the Ugandan rozzers. 235 00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:51,209 I think the President's just driven past us. 236 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:56,781 A couple of rules you need to know, really, about Uganda, 237 00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:58,116 if you're coming here. 238 00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,285 Number one, if you're a male homosexual 239 00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:03,521 and you indulge in your homosexuality, 240 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:07,392 it's life imprisonment. That's very important to know. 241 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:07,992 (SIREN WAILING) 242 00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:12,630 Also, it is compulsory here for motorcyclists to wear crash helmets, 243 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:16,468 unless you are a woman on your way back from the hairdressers. 244 00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:21,673 Then you are allowed to wear a carrier bag on your head instead. 245 00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:25,076 (CHUCKLING) I promise that's true! 246 00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:31,316 At this point, the producers told us 247 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:37,422 to stop off at the still bullet-scarred Entebbe Airport. 248 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:43,094 It was here in 1976 that Israeli special forces 249 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:49,768 staged a daring operation to rescue passengers from a hijacked airliner. 250 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,670 Oh, wow, look at this! 251 00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:06,785 I'll tell you what. I couldn't be Israeli special forces. 252 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:09,154 You'd run out of breath too fast. 253 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:09,554 I'm exhausted. 254 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:10,789 They'd have been all sitting there thinking, 255 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:13,124 "Oh, help! Here comes help." And then... 256 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,793 (IMITATES WHEEZING) 257 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:17,529 "Sorry, just give us five!" 258 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:18,596 More bullet holes. 259 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:23,635 Out on the balcony, we saw something a bit worrying. 260 00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:25,436 Is that a Ford Scorpio? 261 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,272 -HAMMOND: Where? -There. 262 00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:29,307 It is. Estate. 263 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,010 I'd say that's there for one reason! 264 00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,679 That's why they brought us here. Funny. 265 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:37,015 -Funny. -Because what that is... 266 00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:37,615 (CHUCKLES) 267 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,117 -That's the forfeit car. -It is. 268 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,385 If one of our cars goes wrong... 269 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:44,389 Which, let's face it, James, yours is going to break in half. 270 00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,491 I've always liked the Scorpio. 271 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,225 You have not! 272 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:50,228 HAMMOND: You know that word you like, James, gopping? 273 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:50,795 MAY: It is gopping! 274 00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:55,300 That was invented... Nothing has ever been more gopping than that. 275 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,268 HAMMOND: And as we prepared to leave, 276 00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:01,239 it looked like one of us would soon be driving it. 277 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:04,509 -(ENGINE REVVING) -That's full throttle. 278 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:11,749 It's revving, slightly, but I'm not doing it. 279 00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:14,752 You know, this all-mechanical BMW of yours? 280 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,354 -You were very proud of that, yeah? -Yeah. 281 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,056 Does it have a fly-by-wire throttle? 282 00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:18,690 -Yeah. -(LAUGHING) 283 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:21,059 So it's all mechanical, except that bit? 284 00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:26,364 HAMMOND: Jeremy broke out his vast and sophisticated toolkit. 285 00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:33,271 What else is electrical in here? 286 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,340 BOTH: Not the exhaust manifold. 287 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,074 (BOTH LAUGHING) 288 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,443 I've done the fuse box, if that's what that is. 289 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,646 -That's an air filter. -It's an air filter. 290 00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:43,081 Right. 291 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:46,084 "It's all mechanical, you can mend it with a hammer!" 292 00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,219 -If this works... -Yes? 293 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,456 -(ENGINE REVS CONSISTENTLY) -(LAUGHING) 294 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,658 Soldier on. 295 00:14:56,395 --> 00:15:01,733 CLARKSON: With my throttle still not working brilliantly, we set off for the lakes. 296 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:06,537 But first, we had to get through Uganda's capital city. 297 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,640 Kampala. 298 00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:19,183 This is going to turn out to be one of those places 299 00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:22,720 with terrible crash statistics. 300 00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:25,423 CLARKSON: In fact, Hammond was wrong. 301 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:30,995 Because to have a crash, first you have to be moving. 302 00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,801 CLARKSON: Holy cow! 303 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:39,704 That is... 304 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:43,741 We're never, ever, ever going to get through. 305 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:49,814 What are we going to do, seriously, here? 306 00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:52,684 We're never, ever going to get through there. 307 00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:56,187 CLARKSON: It's probably safe to say the Victorian explorers 308 00:15:56,189 --> 00:16:00,024 didn't face problems as big as this. 309 00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:03,428 HAMMOND: Oh, Jesus! 310 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:07,765 Sally Traffic, are you watching this on Radio 2? 311 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,000 Because this is what we call a traffic jam. 312 00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:13,771 From now on, just go, "Everything's going very well in England, really." 313 00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:18,309 Oh, my God. 314 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,378 Hammond, this is phenomenal. 315 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:24,682 It is the heaviest traffic ever, ever seen. 316 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:29,687 This is just like a scrapyard on the road in front. 317 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:33,558 Cars and vans piled on top of each other. 318 00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:40,064 Going to finish our days here. 319 00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:45,036 CLARKSON: Well, we're all right if we want supper. 320 00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,205 I fancy a banana. 321 00:16:47,439 --> 00:16:49,240 Excuse me? 322 00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:51,776 Not knowing the exchange rate, 323 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:55,079 I accidentally bought more than one. 324 00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:58,116 No, it's all right. Do I have all of them? 325 00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:00,451 Oh, Christ! Oh, bloody hell! 326 00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:03,287 How do you do that? (LAUGHS) 327 00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:06,457 How the hell do you do that? 328 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,993 (LAUGHING) 329 00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:18,002 MAY: Three hours later, our average speed made for grim reading. 330 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:27,612 It must quieten down soon. 331 00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:31,182 It's evening now. 332 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:34,185 HAMMOND: But it didn't. 333 00:17:50,035 --> 00:17:52,603 (CAR HONKING) 334 00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:03,147 It wasn't a dream. 335 00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:05,716 I'm still here. 336 00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:12,423 I can't get over how heavy those bananas were. 337 00:18:12,724 --> 00:18:15,626 How could she have them on her head? 338 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:19,997 HAMMOND: By this stage, we were pretty famished, 339 00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:22,533 but then breakfast turned up. 340 00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:27,371 Wow, that's just a meat feast in front of me here! 341 00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,474 Hang on, look, look. Right. Thank you. 342 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:32,543 You were here first, so do I buy yours? 343 00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:36,380 -What bone? -Bone. 344 00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:39,650 -But it's goat bone? -Yeah. 345 00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:41,619 I don't want that. 346 00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:44,055 -How much is the water? -Yes. 347 00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:46,023 -How much is that? -Yes. 348 00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:46,791 -It just happens to be that? -Yes. 349 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:51,162 Obviously, it is. Of course it is. Thank you very much. 350 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,465 No, thank you. I've got one. 351 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,373 What is it? 352 00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:04,509 Is it a chair leg? 353 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,645 CLARKSON: Soon, we found a dual carriageway, 354 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:12,550 and at last the traffic started to move. 355 00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,621 Freedom! 356 00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:22,193 That's it, that's the end! (LAUGHS) 357 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,032 MAY: We headed west, towards the lakes, 358 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:33,070 surprised at how easy this exploring was turning out to be. 359 00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:37,375 This is just tremendous. This is like being in northern France. 360 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,014 Look at that ahead. 361 00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:46,384 CLARKSON: Hammond, you don't need a Subaru. 362 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:49,153 This road is fantastically smooth. 363 00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:50,755 Apparently, it was built by the Chinese 364 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:52,423 in exchange for some oil deal. 365 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:56,527 It's like the Swiss have done it, or some Austrians. 366 00:19:57,329 --> 00:20:00,398 HAMMOND: Yeah, right now, we could be on the M4. 367 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,568 But the point is, further on, if things get tough, 368 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,137 if we end up off this road and on tracks, 369 00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:09,040 the other two will be completely stuffed. 370 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:11,442 I will have the last laugh. 371 00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:15,012 Wow! 372 00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:18,449 It's my town! 373 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,486 MAY: We've just entered Jezza. 374 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:24,689 Oh, no! 375 00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:28,459 MAY: When I say we've just entered Jezza, that's a disgusting thought. 376 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:29,227 We've come into Jezza. 377 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:32,496 -No, we haven't come into Jezza. -(CHUCKLING) 378 00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:35,633 CLARKSON: Even though we were on an important mission, 379 00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:40,471 I decided we should pull over and have a look around. 380 00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:43,341 Jezza church. 381 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:47,545 They've actually had a church where they worship me. 382 00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:50,181 (HAMMOND READING) 383 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,417 I've never seen that and those close. 384 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,387 That doesn't make any sense at all. 385 00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:58,422 My name is Jezza. 386 00:20:58,424 --> 00:20:59,624 Your name is Jezza? 387 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:00,524 My name is Jezza. 388 00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:03,294 -What do you think of that? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 389 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,798 You'll like this, James. 390 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,168 There is Jezza's back alley. Well found. 391 00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:15,473 CLARKSON: At this point, to demonstrate that Hammond's car was too small, 392 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:18,676 James and I bought him a present. 393 00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:21,112 (HAMMOND EXCLAIMS) 394 00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:21,612 Do you like it? 395 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,348 -We like it because it's really the Dralon. -Yeah. 396 00:21:24,350 --> 00:21:26,517 Because we know you like Dralon because you're from Birmingham. 397 00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:29,320 And we know that you like the peacock and cheetah blend 398 00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:33,257 -which gives an African and yet Birmingham flavour. -Yes. 399 00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:34,825 And I've put it in my car and we know it fits. 400 00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:39,230 We know it fits, and mine. It fits in both our cars. 401 00:21:39,232 --> 00:21:40,498 -Does it? -Yes, it does. 402 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:41,599 -Does it really? -Yes, it does. 403 00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:44,035 -Precisely into your car? -It fits! It's snug. 404 00:21:44,037 --> 00:21:45,736 -MAY: It's snug. -Is it? Snug. 405 00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:47,104 Anyway, Hammond. If you'd like to... 406 00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:48,839 There are plenty of people here who can help you. 407 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:52,043 Good. Let's pop it in the back of my car. 408 00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:55,346 Okay, now, maybe I could... 409 00:21:55,547 --> 00:21:58,816 I think he's started to dye his hair. 410 00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:00,284 -Do you? -Have a look. 411 00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:02,253 He's 45 and there isn't a grey hair. 412 00:22:02,255 --> 00:22:04,455 -You know Paul McCartney? -Yeah. 413 00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:06,624 Go and have a look at that. 414 00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:09,627 -I think if I maybe... -(WHISTLING) 415 00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:12,229 Oh, easy, yeah. That'll fit. 416 00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:17,034 HAMMOND: Yeah. 417 00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:20,771 Is it nearly in? Let's have a look. 418 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:21,706 Pretty close. 419 00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:25,443 What you've got now is a big rear spoiler. 420 00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:26,510 That's how it runs. 421 00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:28,479 Right, I think it's time to pull out of Jezza. 422 00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:31,248 I just hope nobody sees me doing it. 423 00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:34,485 MAY: As we headed further West, 424 00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:36,654 we discovered that rural Uganda 425 00:22:36,656 --> 00:22:40,758 is the world capital of the speed hump. 426 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,695 Oh, God! 427 00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:47,798 -(BOTTOM SCRAPES) -(EXCLAIMS) 428 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:52,303 CLARKSON: James is now regretting selecting the R. 429 00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:54,572 Oh! 430 00:22:54,574 --> 00:22:58,509 If they get any bigger, I've had it. I'm honest. 431 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:01,412 MAY: Annoyingly, though, the speed mountains 432 00:23:01,414 --> 00:23:04,582 didn't seem to worry the agri-yob. 433 00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:07,118 Easy. No problem, goodbye. 434 00:23:07,285 --> 00:23:07,585 Ah! 435 00:23:07,587 --> 00:23:14,625 But Jeremy and I suffered for mile after graunching mile. 436 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:16,460 Oh! 437 00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:21,699 That's it, no more. 438 00:23:21,701 --> 00:23:23,768 -(CLANGING) -Apart from that one. 439 00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:27,271 But that really was the absolute last one. 440 00:23:27,273 --> 00:23:28,439 Whoa! 441 00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:30,574 Oh, my God! 442 00:23:31,443 --> 00:23:34,578 Oh! Relax. 443 00:23:34,713 --> 00:23:36,380 Not yet. 444 00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:43,421 MAY: As night started to fall, it was time to look for a hotel. 445 00:23:45,757 --> 00:23:47,057 Ah! 446 00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:50,594 And Hammond thought we'd stand a better chance of finding one 447 00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:53,564 if we switched to the side roads. 448 00:23:53,566 --> 00:23:56,033 Which was a great idea. 449 00:23:56,035 --> 00:23:57,435 Whoa! 450 00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,336 MAY: Whoa! 451 00:23:59,338 --> 00:24:01,138 CLARKSON: I can't stop! 452 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:03,274 MAY: Oh! You idiot! 453 00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:05,342 CLARKSON: I can't stop it! 454 00:24:05,344 --> 00:24:07,645 MAY: Well, I can't stop it, either! 455 00:24:07,647 --> 00:24:10,714 I'm enjoying the sounds of disaster behind me. 456 00:24:10,716 --> 00:24:14,185 MAY (ON RADIO): Hammond, there had better be a really good hotel 457 00:24:14,187 --> 00:24:15,152 at the end of this. 458 00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:18,656 These buildings down here, there'll be a very nice hotel. 459 00:24:18,658 --> 00:24:21,492 One of those with a posh book in it. 460 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,361 So, in your mind, because there's tea being grown, 461 00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:25,796 there's a sort of plantation house 462 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:29,200 with a veranda and somebody saying, "Would you like a gin sling?" 463 00:24:29,202 --> 00:24:34,104 People in white linen suits with hats on have to come to tea plantations 464 00:24:34,106 --> 00:24:36,474 to test and buy tea for supermarkets. 465 00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:38,142 I've seen it on the television. 466 00:24:38,144 --> 00:24:39,210 They will need hotels to stay in, 467 00:24:39,212 --> 00:24:43,147 there will be one near the tea plantation, if not in it. 468 00:24:43,149 --> 00:24:44,482 Fact. 469 00:24:54,526 --> 00:24:56,327 MAY: Hammond. 470 00:24:56,394 --> 00:24:57,228 HAMMOND: What? 471 00:24:57,230 --> 00:24:58,262 If we're about to rejoin that main road, 472 00:24:58,264 --> 00:25:03,334 I'm going to have to get out and kill you very slowly, I'm afraid. 473 00:25:04,035 --> 00:25:08,539 I believe that is what has happened, yeah. 474 00:25:09,374 --> 00:25:13,010 CLARKSON: Still, at least it's a lovely evening. 475 00:25:15,780 --> 00:25:21,285 There you go. I told you there would be a hotel, and there it is. 476 00:25:27,125 --> 00:25:31,195 CLARKSON: I don't see anybody coming out to help with our luggage. 477 00:25:31,197 --> 00:25:34,098 HAMMOND: (ON RADIO) So, let's go check in. 478 00:25:53,585 --> 00:25:55,419 Jesus. 479 00:25:57,155 --> 00:26:00,324 -That is character-ful, isn't it? -No. 480 00:26:00,725 --> 00:26:03,060 Have you heard of those boutique hotels? 481 00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:07,097 Small, with a style all of their own? 482 00:26:09,267 --> 00:26:10,334 You're getting that room. 483 00:26:10,336 --> 00:26:13,237 This one's got a chair and a table. 484 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:19,743 I don't think you'd even notice the smell after a while. 485 00:26:23,014 --> 00:26:25,616 Oh, my God. 486 00:26:27,452 --> 00:26:29,219 Hammond! 487 00:26:37,729 --> 00:26:40,497 MAY: The next morning, desperate to redeem himself, 488 00:26:40,499 --> 00:26:44,768 Hammond called an emergency breakfast meeting. 489 00:26:44,770 --> 00:26:47,171 Let's just face reality here. 490 00:26:47,173 --> 00:26:49,473 We're in Africa, and we're not in like 491 00:26:49,475 --> 00:26:52,509 a big, touristy bit of Africa, are we? 492 00:26:52,511 --> 00:26:53,110 CLARKSON: No. 493 00:26:53,112 --> 00:26:57,348 All the hotels are going to be like that or worse. 494 00:26:57,350 --> 00:26:58,082 And I've had an idea. 495 00:26:58,084 --> 00:27:02,519 If you suggest camping, there will be a live and celebrated television death. 496 00:27:02,521 --> 00:27:05,990 Your love affair with tenting... No, I'm not camping. 497 00:27:05,992 --> 00:27:06,757 It's not, I... 498 00:27:06,759 --> 00:27:08,759 Let me finish. I haven't said tents. 499 00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:11,128 We've all three got estate cars, yeah? 500 00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:11,595 Yes. 501 00:27:11,597 --> 00:27:13,530 Why don't we sleep in the cars? 502 00:27:13,532 --> 00:27:18,302 We can control it, it's ours, they're dry, warm. 503 00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:19,436 Just get in the car. 504 00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:20,471 Actually, that's not a bad idea. 505 00:27:20,473 --> 00:27:22,439 Get a sleeping bag, sleep in your car. 506 00:27:22,441 --> 00:27:26,977 I could get a mattress that hasn't got excrement all over it. 507 00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:30,714 But seriously, you could get a mattress in your car, easy. 508 00:27:30,716 --> 00:27:33,117 MAY: I could easily get one. I'm not sure about you. 509 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:35,119 CLARKSON: Did he have that as an idea? 510 00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:36,253 MAY: He sort of did, yeah. 511 00:27:36,255 --> 00:27:38,322 Come on, it's like camping, 512 00:27:38,324 --> 00:27:40,791 but it's not camping, because there's no tents. 513 00:27:40,793 --> 00:27:42,126 No, you're right, it's a good idea. 514 00:27:42,128 --> 00:27:43,661 But don't do that, "Come on," as if we're supposed to go, 515 00:27:43,663 --> 00:27:45,329 "Hammond, you're brilliant, you've just about 516 00:27:45,331 --> 00:27:47,131 "redeemed yourself with quite a good idea." 517 00:27:47,133 --> 00:27:47,998 He hasn't redeemed himself. 518 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,334 And this is where you've brought me for breakfast. 519 00:27:50,336 --> 00:27:51,502 No breakfast, then, obviously, 520 00:27:51,504 --> 00:27:54,004 because Christ The King, as it turns out, is shut. 521 00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:57,274 Which means that Christ The King hasn't risen yet. 522 00:27:57,276 --> 00:27:58,409 (ALL CHUCKLING) 523 00:27:58,411 --> 00:28:00,310 That's the problem. 524 00:28:00,312 --> 00:28:04,381 Right, come on. It's a plan, it's stuff to do. 525 00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,016 HAMMOND: We split up and set about 526 00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:10,454 getting the stuff we'd need to convert our cars. 527 00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:15,159 The best hotel room I ever stayed in was in South Beach, in Miami, 528 00:28:15,161 --> 00:28:19,630 and what I'm going to try and do is replicate the decor there 529 00:28:19,632 --> 00:28:21,432 in the back of my Beemer. 530 00:28:21,434 --> 00:28:22,966 -Morning. -WOMAN: Morning. 531 00:28:22,968 --> 00:28:25,169 Do you have any white cotton? 532 00:28:25,171 --> 00:28:26,770 (HAMMOND GRUNTS) 533 00:28:27,205 --> 00:28:28,439 And it's got a cockerel on it. 534 00:28:28,441 --> 00:28:31,642 Yeah, I'll have one of them and the kettle. 535 00:28:31,644 --> 00:28:33,210 Thank you. 536 00:28:39,784 --> 00:28:41,518 -Nails? -Yeah. 537 00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:45,489 Deal. 538 00:28:45,491 --> 00:28:47,558 (WOMEN LAUGHING) 539 00:28:54,799 --> 00:28:55,733 There we go. 540 00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:58,469 And this is half inch? Perfect. 541 00:28:59,804 --> 00:29:02,372 That's quite a lot, isn't it? That's more than I expected. 542 00:29:02,374 --> 00:29:05,442 I didn't think it was this long, I'll be honest. 543 00:29:16,154 --> 00:29:18,155 -(HORN BEEPS) -Oh! 544 00:29:19,958 --> 00:29:21,492 Sorry! 545 00:29:24,629 --> 00:29:26,196 Yes. 546 00:29:28,166 --> 00:29:30,300 This kind of size. 547 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:32,402 For me. Small. 548 00:29:32,971 --> 00:29:36,006 Standard size. Six feet is comes. 549 00:29:36,008 --> 00:29:37,641 5' 7" is enough. 550 00:29:37,643 --> 00:29:39,743 Well, 5' 7" and a half. 551 00:29:39,978 --> 00:29:44,681 MAY: With all our materials bought, we set to work. 552 00:29:49,387 --> 00:29:51,588 CLARKSON: This is epic! 553 00:29:54,092 --> 00:29:58,529 And then met up to reveal our creations. 554 00:30:00,098 --> 00:30:01,799 Gentlemen, behold the future of exploring. 555 00:30:01,801 --> 00:30:04,768 -I've given this some thought. -It'll be a mouse cage. 556 00:30:04,770 --> 00:30:06,270 No. Look! 557 00:30:06,272 --> 00:30:07,337 -MAY: Wow! -Let me talk you through it. 558 00:30:07,339 --> 00:30:09,740 I'm just going to climb into the sitting area at the back, 559 00:30:09,742 --> 00:30:11,141 but it's not just a sitting area. 560 00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:12,776 Note the footwell for the feet. 561 00:30:12,778 --> 00:30:14,611 -Where the spare wheel was? -Yeah. 562 00:30:14,613 --> 00:30:16,680 -Where's that now? -It's gone. 563 00:30:16,682 --> 00:30:18,015 Uh, there's a bin in here. 564 00:30:18,017 --> 00:30:20,818 But you can't fail to notice the kitchen. 565 00:30:20,820 --> 00:30:25,656 Burners, gas, taps, running water, cold and cold. 566 00:30:25,658 --> 00:30:26,723 -Do these work? -Yes, yes. 567 00:30:26,725 --> 00:30:30,260 -So you've got a gas bottle in here? -Yes. 568 00:30:30,262 --> 00:30:30,828 Okay. No, that's fine. 569 00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:32,830 And a storage cupboard, full of useful things for me. 570 00:30:32,832 --> 00:30:37,467 Along here, everything I need for cooking and eating. It's all... 571 00:30:37,469 --> 00:30:39,236 -And where do you sleep? -There. 572 00:30:39,238 --> 00:30:41,338 There's the bed. You see? Let me get out. 573 00:30:41,340 --> 00:30:42,239 Leopardskin sheets. 574 00:30:42,241 --> 00:30:44,842 We are in Africa. Come have a look, see. 575 00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:47,744 You can go in by the side entrance. 576 00:30:48,179 --> 00:30:49,279 Question. 577 00:30:49,281 --> 00:30:51,348 -Yes? -Our gift. 578 00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:52,482 Well, there wasn't room for it. 579 00:30:52,484 --> 00:30:56,653 Actually, that is now my upstairs sitting room. 580 00:30:56,655 --> 00:30:57,087 Is it? 581 00:30:57,089 --> 00:31:01,024 Well, let's move on to have a look at May's car, shall we? 582 00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:03,493 You will see a gentleman explorer's quarters. 583 00:31:03,495 --> 00:31:07,698 It's got a globe, it's got a telescope, it's got maps, it's got music. 584 00:31:07,700 --> 00:31:09,233 -CLARKSON: It's a library, James. -Yeah. 585 00:31:09,235 --> 00:31:13,770 Things you don't need when you're looking for the source of the Nile. 586 00:31:13,772 --> 00:31:14,471 Number one, library. 587 00:31:14,473 --> 00:31:17,741 Well, if you look carefully, you'll see some of the books are about exploring, 588 00:31:17,743 --> 00:31:20,010 plus there's a selection of English poets to read in bed. 589 00:31:20,012 --> 00:31:24,348 Do any of the books contain the exact location of the true source of the Nile, 590 00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:26,650 in which case it's a rather wasted exercise anyway? 591 00:31:26,652 --> 00:31:27,517 No, but it's inspiration. 592 00:31:27,519 --> 00:31:29,119 -So there's a library in the front. -Yes. 593 00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:32,389 And I'm guessing, in the back, some kind of dungeon. 594 00:31:33,725 --> 00:31:35,292 -Whoa! -That's not a dungeon, is it? 595 00:31:35,294 --> 00:31:39,162 It's a living quarters combined with a workshop. 596 00:31:39,164 --> 00:31:41,298 That's... I'm genuinely astonished. 597 00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:43,834 -Would you like me to run through what's in there? -Not really. 598 00:31:43,836 --> 00:31:46,103 -May I just sneak in, do you mind? -Yes. 599 00:31:46,105 --> 00:31:48,338 That doesn't look terribly comfortable. 600 00:31:48,340 --> 00:31:51,508 It's been good enough for the army for several hundred years. 601 00:31:51,510 --> 00:31:52,409 And this will just make you itch. 602 00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:56,580 It's an itchy blanket. It's designed to remind you how lucky you are. 603 00:31:56,582 --> 00:31:58,782 So you can cook food for us, 604 00:31:58,784 --> 00:32:01,251 you can mend mechanical things that go wrong. 605 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:03,120 -Keep us going. -What have you done? 606 00:32:03,122 --> 00:32:04,988 -What have I done? -Yes. 607 00:32:04,990 --> 00:32:06,089 You might want to come and have a look. 608 00:32:06,091 --> 00:32:08,558 I should warn you, there are two electronic things on this car. 609 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:13,397 The throttle, which is broken, and the electronic boot release, 610 00:32:13,399 --> 00:32:18,735 which is broken, so I've fitted a manual replacement. 611 00:32:18,737 --> 00:32:19,436 And there you are. 612 00:32:19,438 --> 00:32:24,241 What I've done is I've filled it with Egyptian cotton and duck down. 613 00:32:25,410 --> 00:32:26,476 Is that a coffin? 614 00:32:26,478 --> 00:32:30,013 Yeah. Who knew a coffin was dual purpose? 615 00:32:30,015 --> 00:32:32,549 But it is. It could be used for bodies, 616 00:32:32,551 --> 00:32:35,218 or I've used it as a chest of drawers. 617 00:32:35,220 --> 00:32:38,622 Washing things, clean clothes, dirty clothes and shoes. 618 00:32:38,624 --> 00:32:40,357 Can I just say, it's all very nice, 619 00:32:40,359 --> 00:32:42,659 but you haven't considered your colleagues' needs. 620 00:32:42,661 --> 00:32:47,230 Well, there are two features on this car that you might be interested in. 621 00:32:47,232 --> 00:32:50,067 In the front, gentlemen, we find here, 622 00:32:50,069 --> 00:32:52,102 instead of a passenger seat... 623 00:32:52,104 --> 00:32:54,037 Oh, so you have thought of sustenance, a fridge. 624 00:32:54,039 --> 00:32:55,205 -That's good, that's good. -Full of beer. 625 00:32:55,207 --> 00:32:57,341 And it runs off the cigarette lighter in the car. 626 00:32:57,343 --> 00:32:59,209 That's a tradable commodity you've got there. 627 00:32:59,211 --> 00:33:04,014 It is, but something even more useful than beer. 628 00:33:04,016 --> 00:33:04,581 No, actually, no. 629 00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:09,119 Nearly as useful as beer is what I've fitted over here. 630 00:33:09,754 --> 00:33:11,088 A shower. 631 00:33:11,090 --> 00:33:13,223 And if we peel back the curtain... 632 00:33:13,225 --> 00:33:15,425 HAMMOND: Oh, it's a complete bathroom in there. 633 00:33:15,427 --> 00:33:18,328 Oh, yeah. So, you lower this window. 634 00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:19,763 HAMMOND: It lowers it automatically? 635 00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:22,632 Hang on. Yes, it does, but... 636 00:33:23,101 --> 00:33:23,533 It's not going. 637 00:33:23,535 --> 00:33:25,569 There are three electrical components on this car, as it turns out. 638 00:33:25,571 --> 00:33:29,740 I get it. The window goes down, and that lowers the bog seat, is that right? 639 00:33:29,742 --> 00:33:30,707 Yes, exactly. 640 00:33:30,709 --> 00:33:32,275 That's quite theatrical. 641 00:33:32,277 --> 00:33:33,744 It doesn't work, but it's very... 642 00:33:33,746 --> 00:33:35,245 Well, the battery's somehow gone flat. 643 00:33:35,247 --> 00:33:39,583 I suspect the fridge is drawing quite a lot of power. 644 00:33:39,650 --> 00:33:42,319 -Can I have a jump? -No. 645 00:33:45,623 --> 00:33:52,462 CLARKSON: With the BMW re-energised, we set off once more for the lakes. 646 00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:59,469 So, here we are now, Livingstone, Burton and Speke 647 00:33:59,471 --> 00:34:01,438 in full explorer mode. 648 00:34:02,006 --> 00:34:04,741 James, with those modifications, will have added, 649 00:34:04,743 --> 00:34:06,710 got to be getting on for a tonne, 650 00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:09,112 which will have reduced his ground clearance 651 00:34:09,114 --> 00:34:12,516 from one inch to much less than one inch. 652 00:34:13,017 --> 00:34:14,684 What an idiot. 653 00:34:14,686 --> 00:34:17,154 (SUSPENSION CLANGING) 654 00:34:22,226 --> 00:34:24,428 I have made it quite heavy. 655 00:34:24,495 --> 00:34:27,097 MAY: Still, could be worse. 656 00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:31,168 (CROCKERY CLANGING) 657 00:34:40,578 --> 00:34:45,816 I've uncovered one design feature in here that I don't like. 658 00:34:46,417 --> 00:34:47,317 The driver? 659 00:34:47,319 --> 00:34:51,555 No. Every time I brake, my curtain closes. 660 00:34:51,656 --> 00:34:53,523 Braking. 661 00:34:56,027 --> 00:34:59,496 CLARKSON: Despite my terrible hardship, we carried on, 662 00:34:59,498 --> 00:35:01,364 and soon we turned off the road 663 00:35:01,366 --> 00:35:04,401 where the speed humps were frequent. 664 00:35:05,636 --> 00:35:09,639 And onto a road where they were continuous. 665 00:35:13,544 --> 00:35:15,178 Oh, God! 666 00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:20,383 Nice. Washboard gravel. My favourite. 667 00:35:20,451 --> 00:35:25,055 Once again, though, the agri-yob was unfazed. 668 00:35:27,558 --> 00:35:28,725 More like it. 669 00:35:28,727 --> 00:35:32,129 Finally, I get to do some Subaru-ing. 670 00:35:36,534 --> 00:35:38,168 Woo-hoo! 671 00:35:42,740 --> 00:35:45,509 CLARKSON: Because we were now off the beaten track, 672 00:35:45,511 --> 00:35:48,078 we started to encounter more animals, 673 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:49,679 but sadly, as we saw in Botswana, 674 00:35:49,681 --> 00:35:56,153 the Top Gear cameramen do struggle when they're not filming cars. 675 00:35:56,254 --> 00:35:58,321 HAMMOND: No, there! 676 00:36:04,061 --> 00:36:07,330 Did you see that, Hammond? It was a monkey. 677 00:36:10,301 --> 00:36:12,269 HAMMOND: Did you get it? 678 00:36:12,271 --> 00:36:13,970 Elephant! 679 00:36:16,007 --> 00:36:16,473 What elephant? 680 00:36:16,475 --> 00:36:20,377 (OVER RADIO) Elephant on the right-hand side of the road. 681 00:36:20,678 --> 00:36:22,746 Oh, this is strangely familiar, 682 00:36:22,748 --> 00:36:27,150 you telling me about animals that you've just seen that I haven't. 683 00:36:27,152 --> 00:36:29,152 (LAUGHING) 684 00:36:29,654 --> 00:36:31,121 Oh, you evil sod! 685 00:36:31,123 --> 00:36:32,422 That reminds me of a television programme. 686 00:36:32,424 --> 00:36:35,659 James, can you think what that television programme was? 687 00:36:35,661 --> 00:36:36,993 Shut up, shut up! 688 00:36:36,995 --> 00:36:38,528 Shut up, shut up, shut up! 689 00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:42,332 Was it Richard Hammond coming to you from a tent in the dark? 690 00:36:42,334 --> 00:36:43,033 Was it that one? 691 00:36:43,035 --> 00:36:45,769 CLARKSON: Hammond, there was a little man, and he kept saying, 692 00:36:45,771 --> 00:36:47,771 "I've had an amazing day, I've seen lots of animals, 693 00:36:47,773 --> 00:36:51,208 "but sadly, this is live and it's dark now." 694 00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:53,310 Shut up! (CHUCKLING) 695 00:36:55,446 --> 00:36:59,749 CLARKSON: Eventually, we arrived at Lake Edward. 696 00:37:00,451 --> 00:37:04,221 Whoa, whoa. That's a beautiful lake. 697 00:37:04,689 --> 00:37:09,059 So beautiful, in fact, we decided to stop on its shoreline 698 00:37:09,061 --> 00:37:12,696 for a night in our new accommodation. 699 00:37:13,197 --> 00:37:16,166 Right, let's pitch the tents. Done. 700 00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:17,400 Beer? It's already chilled. 701 00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:20,203 That would be lovely. I'll put dinner on. 702 00:37:20,205 --> 00:37:21,605 -Oh, God! -What? 703 00:37:21,607 --> 00:37:23,340 My bed's gone out of alignment. 704 00:37:23,342 --> 00:37:25,342 -Oh, you've got problems. -There we go. 705 00:37:25,344 --> 00:37:27,310 -What's your problem? -Nothing. 706 00:37:27,312 --> 00:37:28,144 No, what's your problem? 707 00:37:28,146 --> 00:37:31,147 Nothing. I think the chair, the fringe has just slightly... 708 00:37:31,149 --> 00:37:33,583 -What is your problem? -Oh, dear! 709 00:37:33,585 --> 00:37:34,784 Is this every single thing? 710 00:37:34,786 --> 00:37:38,788 -I'm just going to tidy up. -It's Hammond's kitchen nightmare. 711 00:37:38,790 --> 00:37:40,991 (ALL LAUGHING) 712 00:38:02,213 --> 00:38:06,650 CLARKSON: We sat and watched the sun go down, 713 00:38:07,685 --> 00:38:12,989 looking forward to Heston Hammond's delicious dinner. 714 00:38:15,226 --> 00:38:17,961 -I'm enjoying the bean course. -Yeah, good. 715 00:38:17,963 --> 00:38:19,162 -What's next? -Beans. 716 00:38:19,164 --> 00:38:22,966 Can you honestly not cook anything other than beans? 717 00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:24,267 Nope. 718 00:38:24,702 --> 00:38:27,370 -What's that? -Fly paper. 719 00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:30,307 Do you still not like insects? 720 00:38:30,309 --> 00:38:32,709 You know, they've got their place. 721 00:38:32,711 --> 00:38:35,345 In the world, or something. 722 00:38:35,347 --> 00:38:36,780 -Is it in your car? -No. 723 00:38:36,782 --> 00:38:39,616 CLARKSON: Then, it was time for bed. 724 00:38:41,218 --> 00:38:46,723 Nobody in the history of Africa has ever been more comfortable than this. 725 00:38:46,725 --> 00:38:49,726 I'm under a layer of duck down and Egyptian cotton, 726 00:38:49,728 --> 00:38:50,694 I'm watching Kristin Scott Thomas 727 00:38:50,696 --> 00:38:56,266 in a film where she's bound to do lesbionics at some point. 728 00:38:56,701 --> 00:38:59,035 I've had some beans. 729 00:38:59,603 --> 00:39:02,572 Oh, this is just heaven. 730 00:39:08,312 --> 00:39:10,246 (CLANKING) 731 00:39:37,274 --> 00:39:38,408 (HORN BLOWS) 732 00:39:38,410 --> 00:39:40,176 What's for breakfast? 733 00:39:40,178 --> 00:39:41,978 HAMMOND: Beans. 734 00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:47,016 MAY: Today, our exploring would begin in earnest, 735 00:39:47,018 --> 00:39:51,755 but first, we had to mend Jeremy's car, again. 736 00:39:51,757 --> 00:39:55,425 What you need under here is an M8 screw, 737 00:39:55,427 --> 00:39:56,760 and a home-made little clip, 738 00:39:56,762 --> 00:39:59,629 made out of tin, which I've got in there. 739 00:40:00,331 --> 00:40:00,630 Easy. 740 00:40:00,632 --> 00:40:05,769 While I was doing this, Jeremy had time to develop one of his theories. 741 00:40:05,771 --> 00:40:07,804 Gentlemen, this is a map, okay, 742 00:40:07,806 --> 00:40:09,706 of what all these famous explorers 743 00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:13,009 told the Victorian English was Africa. 744 00:40:13,011 --> 00:40:14,477 Now, look at the Sahara Desert. 745 00:40:14,479 --> 00:40:16,112 Which is really tough and difficult. 746 00:40:16,114 --> 00:40:17,247 We've been there, it's horrible. 747 00:40:17,249 --> 00:40:20,617 All done, every nook and cranny explored. 748 00:40:20,619 --> 00:40:21,818 This is really tough. 749 00:40:21,820 --> 00:40:23,286 Sudan, impossible. 750 00:40:23,288 --> 00:40:23,820 Awful. All done. 751 00:40:23,822 --> 00:40:28,391 But here, in this pleasant Garden of Eden, where we are now, 752 00:40:28,393 --> 00:40:30,560 unexplored territories. 753 00:40:30,628 --> 00:40:32,695 What was holding them up? 754 00:40:32,697 --> 00:40:33,363 -Here? -Yes. 755 00:40:33,365 --> 00:40:38,401 It's not mountainous, every tree has got food growing out of it. 756 00:40:38,403 --> 00:40:39,702 It's a good point, when you think about it. 757 00:40:39,704 --> 00:40:43,173 There's nothing here that would stop you. Gentle wooded hills. 758 00:40:43,175 --> 00:40:44,441 -Temperature? -Oh, lovely. 759 00:40:44,443 --> 00:40:45,742 Yet they kept coming out here and saying, 760 00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:48,745 "Oh, very difficult, I must go out there for five years. 761 00:40:48,747 --> 00:40:49,612 "I shall probably be lost." 762 00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:52,248 -It all stinks a bit, doesn't it? -Yeah. 763 00:40:52,250 --> 00:40:54,684 So let's just work it out. England, go home. 764 00:40:54,686 --> 00:40:58,188 "Would you like to go to Mrs Simpson's piano recital this evening?" 765 00:40:58,190 --> 00:41:02,592 Or they come out here, dusky maidens, lovely temperature, 766 00:41:02,594 --> 00:41:06,196 very pleasant views, great food, get a tan. 767 00:41:06,198 --> 00:41:08,131 Write home, tell them it's awful. 768 00:41:08,133 --> 00:41:08,798 Yes, exactly. 769 00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,500 Send a letter. "Dear Mrs Hammond. 770 00:41:10,502 --> 00:41:12,335 "It is with a heavy heart that I write to say 771 00:41:12,337 --> 00:41:14,070 "we have not seen Richard for three years." 772 00:41:14,072 --> 00:41:17,273 "He's in the vice-like grip of, what's that name? Fever?" 773 00:41:17,275 --> 00:41:19,209 I'll put that in. Malaria, yeah. 774 00:41:19,211 --> 00:41:21,711 Basically, our conclusion is that Victorian explorers 775 00:41:21,713 --> 00:41:24,814 were just a bunch of hoorays on a very long gap year. 776 00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:26,449 -Yes. Yes. -Is that right? 777 00:41:26,451 --> 00:41:29,419 Well-funded gap year here. 778 00:41:31,388 --> 00:41:36,025 CLARKSON: With all that cleared up, we set off to do exploring. 779 00:41:36,027 --> 00:41:39,062 Our task was to scour the perimeter of Lake Edward to see 780 00:41:39,064 --> 00:41:44,667 if any of the rivers we crossed were flowing into it from the lake below. 781 00:41:44,669 --> 00:41:46,669 If it turned out these lakes were joined, 782 00:41:46,671 --> 00:41:53,409 we would head south to find the true source of the River Nile. 783 00:41:57,848 --> 00:42:01,184 Follow me. River this way, gentlemen. 784 00:42:02,553 --> 00:42:08,758 Right, this is actual off-road, and it's starting to rain. 785 00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:11,327 Oh, fuck! 786 00:42:11,329 --> 00:42:12,061 This is more like it. 787 00:42:12,063 --> 00:42:14,430 Feeling confident about your choices of car now, chaps? 788 00:42:14,432 --> 00:42:17,634 CLARKSON: Are we moving, Hammond, or not? 789 00:42:17,636 --> 00:42:22,705 Yes. The question is for how long, and James, you've gone very quiet. 790 00:42:22,806 --> 00:42:24,440 MAY: Yeah, yeah. 791 00:42:24,442 --> 00:42:27,243 This car is just masterful. 792 00:42:28,546 --> 00:42:30,146 Whoa! 793 00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:37,153 HAMMOND: James's masterful Volvo was now minus its protective skid plate. 794 00:42:37,155 --> 00:42:38,321 Oh, dear. 795 00:42:38,323 --> 00:42:41,291 Oh, look, it's all under the car. 796 00:42:41,293 --> 00:42:45,295 They laboured for six long months to cut off the plastic spoiler. 797 00:42:45,297 --> 00:42:47,697 You do that, I'll go and write to your loved ones. 798 00:42:47,699 --> 00:42:51,067 Would you, would you? Make it sound a bit better. 799 00:42:51,069 --> 00:42:53,836 Put a lion in it, some fever. 800 00:42:53,838 --> 00:42:56,439 -Build it from there. -Exactly. 801 00:42:58,042 --> 00:43:02,979 CLARKSON: With the Volvo mostly mended, we got back to exploring, 802 00:43:02,981 --> 00:43:05,114 and unlike the Victorian hoorays, 803 00:43:05,116 --> 00:43:08,351 we decided not to shilly-shally. 804 00:43:09,086 --> 00:43:11,588 This is Top Gear exploring. 805 00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:15,091 High-speed exploring! 806 00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:20,597 This is good. We will cover some ground. 807 00:43:20,764 --> 00:43:25,768 CLARKSON: In the racing Volvo, though, life was not so good. 808 00:43:27,171 --> 00:43:28,538 Ah! 809 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,541 This is going to be bad. 810 00:43:32,309 --> 00:43:33,743 Ah, ah! 811 00:43:34,545 --> 00:43:37,480 I'm going to have to stop for a minute. 812 00:43:38,649 --> 00:43:39,482 (GROANING) 813 00:43:39,484 --> 00:43:44,354 CLARKSON: Our colleague was in considerable pain. 814 00:43:46,590 --> 00:43:49,092 So we left him behind. 815 00:43:51,629 --> 00:43:52,195 "Dear Mrs May. 816 00:43:52,197 --> 00:43:57,233 "James has suffered a terrible back injury wrestling a lion. 817 00:43:57,235 --> 00:44:02,238 "He will be home, in maybe five years. Please send money." 818 00:44:04,274 --> 00:44:05,575 River, Hammond, river. 819 00:44:05,577 --> 00:44:07,977 Oh, hello, exploring to be done! 820 00:44:07,979 --> 00:44:11,981 CLARKSON: We needed for it to be flowing north. 821 00:44:12,082 --> 00:44:14,317 I've got 68 degrees east. 822 00:44:14,319 --> 00:44:17,086 -Yeah. -It's no good to us. 823 00:44:18,022 --> 00:44:21,391 -(SIREN WAILING) -Here we go. More exploring. 824 00:44:21,393 --> 00:44:23,660 Yes, now I've got a siren. 825 00:44:23,662 --> 00:44:25,662 (SIREN WAILING) 826 00:44:32,002 --> 00:44:34,604 It's going that way, east. 827 00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:37,173 River. 828 00:44:37,175 --> 00:44:39,575 That's the angle I want you to tell me. 829 00:44:40,077 --> 00:44:42,245 East. It's no good. 830 00:44:43,013 --> 00:44:46,482 CLARKSON: When Captain Backache caught up... 831 00:44:46,484 --> 00:44:47,350 Whoa! 832 00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:52,689 ...we still hadn't found a river flowing in the right direction. 833 00:44:52,691 --> 00:44:57,627 I think this is our final bridge. I think it's the last river. 834 00:45:00,330 --> 00:45:02,331 CLARKSON: We don't need to throw a stick in that 835 00:45:02,333 --> 00:45:04,300 to see which way it is flowing, do we? 836 00:45:04,302 --> 00:45:06,102 MAY: Not really. 837 00:45:06,104 --> 00:45:07,637 It is going that way. 838 00:45:07,639 --> 00:45:10,273 HAMMOND: Sort of southeast. 839 00:45:10,574 --> 00:45:12,709 -Southeast? -Yeah. 840 00:45:16,513 --> 00:45:22,685 CLARKSON: Our theory about the two lakes being connected was in tatters. 841 00:45:23,253 --> 00:45:27,190 Our expedition seemed to be at an end. 842 00:45:27,257 --> 00:45:32,428 So that night in camp, the mood was despondent. 843 00:45:33,997 --> 00:45:40,036 But then, while poring over the maps, I noticed something. 844 00:45:40,038 --> 00:45:42,739 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 845 00:45:44,341 --> 00:45:46,242 -Hammond! May! -What? 846 00:45:46,244 --> 00:45:48,811 Come here, come here, come here. 847 00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,618 You see it says here, "Source du Nile"? 848 00:45:55,620 --> 00:45:56,452 Yes. Source of the Nile. 849 00:45:56,454 --> 00:45:59,655 That is Joanna Lumley's, and that is the furthest the water has to 850 00:45:59,657 --> 00:46:01,991 flow down a very wiggly river, yes? 851 00:46:01,993 --> 00:46:02,492 HAMMOND: Yes. 852 00:46:02,494 --> 00:46:04,660 This one is in Burundi, yes, 853 00:46:04,662 --> 00:46:08,564 and this is the furthest the crow flies from the exit of the Nile. 854 00:46:08,566 --> 00:46:10,032 -Okay? -BOTH: Yes. 855 00:46:10,034 --> 00:46:13,202 I believe they are both wrong. 856 00:46:14,404 --> 00:46:15,204 Right. 857 00:46:15,206 --> 00:46:17,340 Where is the exit of the Nile? 858 00:46:17,342 --> 00:46:21,077 Alexandria, which you can see on this, there. 859 00:46:21,079 --> 00:46:22,979 So their rivers flow through Lake Victoria 860 00:46:22,981 --> 00:46:27,083 and then go there into another sea, inland sea, effectively. 861 00:46:27,085 --> 00:46:31,287 The Mediterranean isn't even tidal, just like Lake Victoria. 862 00:46:31,289 --> 00:46:34,524 The actual exit of the Nile is Gibraltar. 863 00:46:34,526 --> 00:46:37,293 Because that is where it goes into the ocean. 864 00:46:37,295 --> 00:46:37,994 The ocean is here. 865 00:46:37,996 --> 00:46:43,099 Their sources are both to the west of Lake Victoria. 866 00:46:43,101 --> 00:46:43,800 MAY: I see what you mean. 867 00:46:43,802 --> 00:46:47,570 We are looking for a river on the east side of Lake Victoria. 868 00:46:47,572 --> 00:46:50,039 -Do you see what I mean? -Because it is further... 869 00:46:50,041 --> 00:46:55,178 That's further from Gibraltar. And I have found it. 870 00:46:55,279 --> 00:47:00,216 Gentleman, the actual source of the Nile 871 00:47:00,218 --> 00:47:03,152 is around there. 872 00:47:03,253 --> 00:47:05,154 Southeast of Lake Victoria. 873 00:47:05,156 --> 00:47:07,356 That's as far from Gibraltar as you can get. 874 00:47:07,358 --> 00:47:08,491 You follow a river called the Grumeti, 875 00:47:08,493 --> 00:47:12,595 or it's a tributary of the Grumeti, which I have traced back. 876 00:47:12,597 --> 00:47:17,366 I can't work out exactly where it is but it is about here. 877 00:47:17,368 --> 00:47:19,368 That's the furthest as the crow flies 878 00:47:19,370 --> 00:47:22,004 and it is the furthest the water flows. 879 00:47:22,105 --> 00:47:23,606 That is extremely good. 880 00:47:23,608 --> 00:47:26,509 We are here, we have to get from where we are now 881 00:47:26,511 --> 00:47:30,346 on completely the wrong side of Lake Victoria, to the other side, 882 00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:35,017 that is going through Rwanda, Tanzania, to there. 883 00:47:35,019 --> 00:47:37,787 -It is such a long way. -It is a long way. 884 00:47:37,789 --> 00:47:40,289 It's worth it though, isn't it? 885 00:47:47,731 --> 00:47:50,633 MAY: The next morning, the Top Gear crew prepared 886 00:47:50,635 --> 00:47:54,337 for the long journey that lay ahead. 887 00:47:55,372 --> 00:47:58,474 Hammond, meanwhile, cooked breakfast. 888 00:47:58,476 --> 00:47:59,809 Oh, careless. 889 00:47:59,811 --> 00:48:05,715 And I fitted a new skid plate to protect the underside of my Volvo. 890 00:48:05,717 --> 00:48:12,722 CLARKSON: Nobody is allowed to use my car as a lavatory any more. 891 00:48:22,599 --> 00:48:23,633 (THUMPING) 892 00:48:23,635 --> 00:48:26,068 You can hear my improvised guard working there, 893 00:48:26,070 --> 00:48:30,640 protecting my vital intercooler from mud and sharp points. 894 00:48:30,642 --> 00:48:32,642 To be honest it is a bit of an improvisation, 895 00:48:32,644 --> 00:48:34,577 it's not the thickest steel there is. 896 00:48:34,579 --> 00:48:38,447 You have to work with what you've got out in the bush. 897 00:48:44,588 --> 00:48:49,659 I had a cold shower this morning, my penis was like a press stud. 898 00:48:51,228 --> 00:48:52,528 Again. 899 00:48:57,367 --> 00:49:03,940 Out into the wilderness, in my little mobile house. 900 00:49:04,574 --> 00:49:05,441 Hello, chaps. 901 00:49:05,443 --> 00:49:08,077 Are you both stuck? (CHUCKLES) 902 00:49:08,079 --> 00:49:09,478 CLARKSON: (OVER RADIO) Are you stuck, James? 903 00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:13,249 MAY: I have gone into a bit of a soft bit. Are you stuck? 904 00:49:13,251 --> 00:49:16,719 Well, I tell you what, let's find out. 905 00:49:19,656 --> 00:49:21,691 No! Come on! 906 00:49:22,059 --> 00:49:27,196 (CHUCKLING) I've improved the style of the Subaru, no end! 907 00:49:27,198 --> 00:49:30,032 MAY: (OVER RADIO) I'm free as well. 908 00:49:30,034 --> 00:49:32,635 Thank you, guys. That was a trap, wasn't it? 909 00:49:32,637 --> 00:49:34,737 MAY: A bit, yeah. 910 00:49:35,339 --> 00:49:37,606 You evil sods. 911 00:49:38,608 --> 00:49:42,745 CLARKSON: We pointed our cars at the border with Rwanda and set off 912 00:49:42,747 --> 00:49:46,649 on a 600-mile journey to what we now knew 913 00:49:46,651 --> 00:49:50,186 was the true source of the Nile. 914 00:49:55,292 --> 00:50:00,796 I wonder if we are heading towards that massive rain cloud. 915 00:50:01,131 --> 00:50:03,165 Yeah, we are, aren't we? 916 00:50:07,070 --> 00:50:09,772 (AFRICA BY TOTO PLAYING) 917 00:50:27,824 --> 00:50:34,096 As the miles rolled by, we started to climb into the mountains. 918 00:50:42,572 --> 00:50:47,610 Oh, wow, this is very, very pretty, here. 919 00:50:48,078 --> 00:50:50,146 But, we couldn't really admire the view, 920 00:50:50,148 --> 00:50:52,615 because the road was starting to be a bit of a test 921 00:50:52,617 --> 00:50:58,220 for two of the 1,500 quid second-hand cars. 922 00:50:58,222 --> 00:51:01,223 My bash plate is earning its keep today. 923 00:51:03,393 --> 00:51:05,327 Oh, cock. 924 00:51:07,230 --> 00:51:12,535 Oh. We are both in the same boat here, James and I. 925 00:51:12,537 --> 00:51:16,172 It is called the HMS Careful. 926 00:51:19,443 --> 00:51:20,676 HAMMOND: Meanwhile, far ahead, 927 00:51:20,678 --> 00:51:25,347 my four-wheel-drive Subaru was scampering along. 928 00:51:26,149 --> 00:51:28,117 Come on, come on! 929 00:51:30,620 --> 00:51:33,055 I am king of the forest. 930 00:51:33,623 --> 00:51:36,325 Bloody hell, look at this one. 931 00:51:49,072 --> 00:51:52,241 Come on, Beemer! Come on! 932 00:51:53,310 --> 00:51:55,377 How is it doing this? 933 00:51:59,616 --> 00:52:01,350 Oh. 934 00:52:05,589 --> 00:52:07,289 Absolutely no chance. 935 00:52:07,291 --> 00:52:13,062 MAY: Annoyingly, I had to ask the agri-yob to come back and help. 936 00:52:13,064 --> 00:52:16,265 What's that expression about pig in... 937 00:52:16,666 --> 00:52:18,367 It's Hammond in mud? 938 00:52:18,369 --> 00:52:21,504 -Yeah, it'll pull out. -Give him a tug. 939 00:52:21,506 --> 00:52:23,172 I'm going to. 940 00:52:26,343 --> 00:52:29,178 -Did it hit you? -Yes, it did 941 00:52:29,180 --> 00:52:29,578 What was that? 942 00:52:29,580 --> 00:52:32,581 It was a huge chunk of tree just bounced off... 943 00:52:32,583 --> 00:52:34,116 And it smashed my windscreen. 944 00:52:34,118 --> 00:52:35,151 -MAY: Is it? -CLARKSON: Yeah. 945 00:52:35,153 --> 00:52:37,219 Right, we probably should get a move on. I'll back it up. 946 00:52:37,221 --> 00:52:41,657 -James, get your tow rope out. -MAY: Go, go, go. 947 00:52:42,459 --> 00:52:44,760 HAMMOND: As I pulled James free... 948 00:52:44,762 --> 00:52:47,329 Yes! Bloody brilliant, Hammond. 949 00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:49,331 Some locals arrived and Jeremy decided 950 00:52:49,333 --> 00:52:54,637 to give them a quick lecture on his theories of off-road driving. 951 00:52:54,639 --> 00:52:58,607 Now, I believe in speed. 952 00:53:00,043 --> 00:53:00,543 Power. 953 00:53:00,545 --> 00:53:04,580 -Power and speed solves many things. -Yes. 954 00:53:04,681 --> 00:53:05,748 Right. 955 00:53:05,750 --> 00:53:07,716 James, how far? 956 00:53:08,051 --> 00:53:08,617 Middle of the puddle. 957 00:53:08,619 --> 00:53:12,221 CLARKSON: (THROUGH MEGAPHONE) Speed and power! 958 00:53:20,030 --> 00:53:21,997 (LAUGHING) 959 00:53:22,799 --> 00:53:23,365 Go faster! 960 00:53:23,367 --> 00:53:26,802 Speed and power doesn't work. It was doing quite well. 961 00:53:26,804 --> 00:53:31,106 It was, to be honest, I was surprised you got that far. 962 00:53:31,641 --> 00:53:34,743 -Do you think you could push it out? -Yeah. 963 00:53:34,745 --> 00:53:36,212 Yes? 964 00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:38,614 Okay. 965 00:53:38,616 --> 00:53:39,582 Which way... Oh, they're lifting it. 966 00:53:39,584 --> 00:53:42,785 I've got to get out of the way. These guys are immensely strong. 967 00:53:52,262 --> 00:53:55,264 -Drive back, drive back. -Okay. 968 00:54:00,170 --> 00:54:02,338 HAMMOND: Yeah, keep going. 969 00:54:05,141 --> 00:54:06,275 There you go. 970 00:54:06,277 --> 00:54:12,681 HAMMOND: Having freed Jeremy, the men started to build him a new road. 971 00:54:15,151 --> 00:54:18,787 I wouldn't do that bare feet, I can't watch. 972 00:54:20,790 --> 00:54:22,391 I am assuming he has never got it wrong 973 00:54:22,393 --> 00:54:25,394 because he still has an entire right foot. 974 00:54:30,533 --> 00:54:32,468 -MAN: Okay! -CLARKSON: Yeah. 975 00:54:32,470 --> 00:54:36,572 Three, two, one! 976 00:54:46,583 --> 00:54:49,018 -(CREW CLAPPING) -HAMMOND: Yes! 977 00:54:49,020 --> 00:54:52,655 -Well done, that was amazing. -MAY: Well done. 978 00:54:52,657 --> 00:54:55,257 Thank you, guys, that's amazing. 979 00:54:55,259 --> 00:54:57,259 CLARKSON: With my dues paid... 980 00:54:57,261 --> 00:54:58,594 Thank you, thank you. 981 00:54:58,596 --> 00:55:00,663 ...we were back on our way. 982 00:55:00,665 --> 00:55:06,235 It is amazing, those guys actually turned out to be Ugandan army. 983 00:55:06,237 --> 00:55:09,571 Up here training. God, they are strong. 984 00:55:09,973 --> 00:55:13,242 We hoped that that would be the last of the mud, 985 00:55:13,244 --> 00:55:18,080 but as the day went on it got even worse. 986 00:55:18,515 --> 00:55:23,085 Oh, no, I have no steering. No, no, no! 987 00:55:23,687 --> 00:55:26,655 Go! Thank you. 988 00:55:29,125 --> 00:55:30,993 It is beached. 989 00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:34,296 Bloody hell. 990 00:55:35,765 --> 00:55:38,300 -Thank you. -Hit it. 991 00:55:45,575 --> 00:55:47,376 Oh, cock. 992 00:55:47,444 --> 00:55:53,082 We are just going to blow the clutches to pieces. Going to have to pull it out. 993 00:55:55,218 --> 00:55:59,254 Go on, go on, go on, you son of a... 994 00:56:02,492 --> 00:56:05,260 (SCREAMING) 995 00:56:07,063 --> 00:56:08,964 That was so damn close. 996 00:56:08,966 --> 00:56:11,433 CLARKSON: And then, to add to the misery, 997 00:56:11,435 --> 00:56:15,003 I discovered there had been treachery. 998 00:56:15,005 --> 00:56:16,605 How long has that been there? 999 00:56:16,607 --> 00:56:19,375 Good grief! You must have... 1000 00:56:19,377 --> 00:56:23,579 Hammond, I know what your panto face is. Hammond, where is that? 1001 00:56:23,581 --> 00:56:27,282 What are those really big things? They could rip steel. 1002 00:56:27,284 --> 00:56:29,752 -Oh, yeah, won't it? -I know exactly where it is. 1003 00:56:29,754 --> 00:56:32,554 -I have no idea and you will never get it out of me. -May! 1004 00:56:32,556 --> 00:56:37,159 Is that thing on the front of your car made out of my door? 1005 00:56:37,161 --> 00:56:38,994 Yes, it is. 1006 00:56:40,196 --> 00:56:42,564 Is that my door? 1007 00:56:42,732 --> 00:56:43,198 What? 1008 00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,401 It is from my... I know it is from my door. 1009 00:56:45,403 --> 00:56:49,438 Well, you're not using that bit and it was more useful on my car. 1010 00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:52,574 -You didn't even notice. -That's it, that's it. 1011 00:56:52,576 --> 00:56:55,210 -Can you give me a tow? -No! 1012 00:57:00,950 --> 00:57:06,288 CLARKSON: As evening drew in, conditions started to improve. 1013 00:57:07,991 --> 00:57:14,196 This is all feeling a bit Gorillas In The Mist. It's a bit mystical. 1014 00:57:14,198 --> 00:57:16,265 It is kind of wonderful. 1015 00:57:16,399 --> 00:57:20,536 CLARKSON: Thanks to my door, the Volvo had survived the ordeal. 1016 00:57:20,538 --> 00:57:25,073 But in the BMW, my throttle problem was even worse 1017 00:57:25,075 --> 00:57:26,175 and my handbrake had broken. 1018 00:57:26,177 --> 00:57:32,014 Hammond, keep moving, I can't stop, I can't do hill starts any more. Keep going. 1019 00:57:32,016 --> 00:57:37,085 This has to be one of the toughest days we've ever had on Top Gear. 1020 00:57:37,087 --> 00:57:41,323 There hasn't been a single moment when one of us wasn't stuck. 1021 00:57:41,325 --> 00:57:47,663 No car is built to survive conditions like this. None. Not one. 1022 00:57:47,665 --> 00:57:53,402 And there were still more than 500 miles to go. 1023 00:57:56,739 --> 00:58:01,376 Hammond is hot on my tail in the quest for the source of the Nile. 1024 00:58:02,045 --> 00:58:03,745 And now Rwanda. 1025 00:58:05,615 --> 00:58:06,548 Oh, my God. 1026 00:58:06,550 --> 00:58:09,151 That might have killed the car. 1027 00:58:09,219 --> 00:58:10,519 There she goes. 1028 00:58:10,521 --> 00:58:12,120 Oh, yes! 1029 00:58:12,122 --> 00:58:13,355 HAMMOND: Gently, gently. 1030 00:58:13,357 --> 00:58:15,691 -We are going in. -Stop! 1031 00:58:17,994 --> 00:58:19,428 30 seconds. 1032 00:58:20,129 --> 00:58:21,497 Oh! 1033 00:58:22,765 --> 00:58:24,433 I'm through. 1034 00:58:24,601 --> 00:58:27,469 Fucking Hammond is not having this.