1 00:00:21,099 --> 00:00:23,599 We're past the point of no return! 2 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,200 Anybody else notice that we keep passing 3 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:43,600 the same stars and planets every 30 seconds? 4 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,500 That's the screensaver, whip. 5 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,700 Oh! Much better! 6 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,600 - Come to the beginning of time! - Stop the ship! 7 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:09,500 Time travel! 8 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,100 Everyone can do it now. 9 00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:14,700 But not everyone can go back to the beginning of time. 10 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,900 In fact, no one can. 11 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,400 Or should we say, no one could, until today! 12 00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:24,800 Reserve a space on our maiden voyage now! 13 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:29,100 You know what the best part of being able to go back to the beginning of time means? 14 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,000 Yeah, not having to remember what you did yesterday. 15 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:36,700 Yeah that, and we're going to know, once and for all, how the universe was created. 16 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,500 I think we already know. 17 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,300 It was the Good Lord himself. 18 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,500 Gus, everyone knows that the universe began from an explosion... 19 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,664 due to a combination of high temperature and density, A.K.A. The big bang. Right? 20 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:49,500 Oh, Chode honey,... 21 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:53,900 I've been part of so many big bangs that if anything had actually started a universe,... 22 00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:55,300 I'd know. 23 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,700 I don't get why you robots and cyborgs believe in God anyway. 24 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,200 You're nothing but metal, circuits, and pseudo-flesh. 25 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:06,400 If we didn't believe in God, we'd have to worship the engineering dweebs that designed us. 26 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:07,300 And frankly,... 27 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,600 the God I pray to doesn't need acne medicine and chronically masturbate. 28 00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:13,000 I'm a God man, too! 29 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:17,100 I know the big guy watches over the whipper and takes care of my every need. 30 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,400 And nothing will ever get me to think differently. 31 00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:21,468 Excuse me! 32 00:02:21,502 --> 00:02:23,100 God is a woman! 33 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,000 And I was made in her image! 34 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,500 on second thought... 35 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,900 Come on! 36 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:33,200 The whole God concept is one of the best scams ever invented. 37 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:35,900 How dare you speak this way about our creator? 38 00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:40,634 Who with divine beneficence created a universe filled with such... 39 00:02:40,668 --> 00:02:43,144 extraordinary beauty! 40 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,400 Well, that's enough divine beauty for one day. 41 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:51,400 When do we leave? 42 00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:53,300 "We" aren't going anywhere. 43 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,800 The only one I'm taking is Gus. 44 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,700 Chode, honey,... 45 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,700 I would really, really like to go with you and Gus. 46 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:07,300 I've always wanted to make love to the man himself. 47 00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:09,700 - Really? - Oh, yeah! 48 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:14,800 Just once when I moan, "Oh God, oh, God!" 49 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,200 I really want to mean it. 50 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,100 Yeah, whatever. 51 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,200 Gus, initiate the vector coordinates. 52 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,600 T'nuk! Set the course to the nearest timeport. 53 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,400 We're not moving! 54 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,400 Bob! 55 00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:34,300 Come on Bob, you agoraphobic! Let's get going! 56 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,200 You know, T'nuk,... 57 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:38,100 I may be a spaceship who ironically has a fear of space,... 58 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,500 but do you always have to refer to me as such? 59 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,600 Being reduced to one-word hurts! 60 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,800 What if I did that to you? 61 00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:45,200 Oh, please! 62 00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:49,500 Like you could sum up any of us with a one-word description. 63 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,500 Ok, whatever you say... 64 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,800 Bitch. Whore. Slacker. Wimp. Thief. 65 00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:57,500 You know,... 66 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,400 if he wasn't so fast,... 67 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,300 I'd get rid of him like that. 68 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,300 I heard that. 69 00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:12,850 Passengers for flight 172, destination orion, board at gate 2. 70 00:04:13,263 --> 00:04:15,635 Hey, you think those guys will recognize me? 71 00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:18,400 Oh please. You'll blend right in. 72 00:04:18,401 --> 00:04:19,401 . 73 00:04:19,436 --> 00:04:22,529 You know, if you had just given Six back to him,... 74 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:25,502 we wouldn't have to dress up like morons! 75 00:04:25,542 --> 00:04:28,900 Well, I would've, except I like banging her. 76 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,500 Banging... yuck! 77 00:04:31,717 --> 00:04:34,066 It amazes me that although I'm a robot,... 78 00:04:34,101 --> 00:04:37,400 I am infinitely more evolved and refined than you are. 79 00:04:37,536 --> 00:04:39,535 I would never bang someone. 80 00:04:39,569 --> 00:04:41,034 Yeah, because you can't! 81 00:04:41,069 --> 00:04:43,500 You can't afford the banging attachment! 82 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:52,869 Passengers for flight 11, destination: The creation of the universe,... 83 00:04:52,903 --> 00:04:55,200 are awaited at gate 1. 84 00:04:56,869 --> 00:04:59,400 Damn, confederation soldiers! 85 00:04:59,436 --> 00:05:01,900 I'm ducking out 'til they pass by. 86 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,570 Chode, for the last time: 87 00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:06,635 nobody's going to recognize us in these outfits. 88 00:05:06,669 --> 00:05:08,335 Gus! Is that you? 89 00:05:08,369 --> 00:05:09,500 Nancy! 90 00:05:10,136 --> 00:05:11,567 What are you doing here? 91 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,000 I'm with my church group! 92 00:05:13,234 --> 00:05:15,568 Say no to time travel! 93 00:05:15,602 --> 00:05:17,669 We've taken some time off from our regular jobs,... 94 00:05:17,703 --> 00:05:21,500 like preventing stem cell research from curing horrible diseases,... 95 00:05:21,535 --> 00:05:25,335 to protest this time tour going back to the creation of the universe. 96 00:05:25,369 --> 00:05:27,800 Boy, I hate anyone taking that trip. 97 00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:29,900 So, where are you going? 98 00:05:30,503 --> 00:05:32,100 C'mon, Gus! 99 00:05:32,136 --> 00:05:35,100 We've got an appointment with the beginning of time! 100 00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:38,502 God told us to go there. 101 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:39,868 Heh. I'm not lying! 102 00:05:39,902 --> 00:05:42,000 Who are we to question God? 103 00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:45,000 Have I told you lately that I hate you? 104 00:05:46,141 --> 00:05:48,900 Hey, who was the God freak you were talking to? 105 00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:50,000 Nancy. 106 00:05:50,004 --> 00:05:52,700 Really? That's nancy? 107 00:05:52,737 --> 00:05:56,969 The one who's been after you to join her gang of religions lunatics? 108 00:05:57,003 --> 00:05:59,600 Yes. Charming isn't she? 109 00:05:59,805 --> 00:06:02,172 Umm... she's got no tits. 110 00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:17,500 Ok, Bob. A little to the left. 111 00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:21,800 Now raise your nose 20 degrees. 112 00:06:21,837 --> 00:06:22,904 Perfect! 113 00:06:22,938 --> 00:06:24,100 Thanks, Bob. 114 00:06:30,637 --> 00:06:32,435 What are you doing to her? 115 00:06:32,472 --> 00:06:33,836 Oh, nothing really. 116 00:06:33,870 --> 00:06:37,135 I just want to turn this cheap whore into a lady,... 117 00:06:37,169 --> 00:06:38,068 that's all. 118 00:06:38,103 --> 00:06:40,337 First of all, I am not a cheap whore. 119 00:06:40,371 --> 00:06:42,434 I am an expensive whore. 120 00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,935 Second, you're dripping pus again. 121 00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:45,902 And last,... 122 00:06:45,936 --> 00:06:47,069 if you know what's good for you,... 123 00:06:47,103 --> 00:06:49,369 you'll keep your paws off me! 124 00:06:49,403 --> 00:06:52,300 If I know what's good for me? Ha! 125 00:06:52,369 --> 00:06:55,800 I have gas cramps more threatening than that! 126 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:02,500 Next! 127 00:07:13,439 --> 00:07:16,968 Be careful! You shake that too much, it'll explode. 128 00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,300 Really? 129 00:07:18,336 --> 00:07:19,435 What is it? 130 00:07:19,469 --> 00:07:21,569 Um, a can of soda? 131 00:07:21,603 --> 00:07:23,302 I don't think so, buddy! 132 00:07:23,336 --> 00:07:26,202 You know you're not allowed to bring soda to another time period. 133 00:07:26,236 --> 00:07:27,869 You're right! My mistake! 134 00:07:27,903 --> 00:07:29,402 That's not a can of soda! 135 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:30,700 Then what is it? 136 00:07:30,703 --> 00:07:32,000 A bomb. 137 00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:37,034 Well, ok then. Just as long as it's not a can of soda. 138 00:07:37,068 --> 00:07:38,600 No, it's a bomb. 139 00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:39,800 Next! 140 00:07:40,838 --> 00:07:44,100 Where do they get these security guys? 141 00:07:44,703 --> 00:07:45,501 Plastic? 142 00:07:45,535 --> 00:07:47,400 Nuh-uh. C-4. 143 00:07:56,104 --> 00:07:59,100 This is racial profiling! 144 00:07:59,368 --> 00:08:02,500 No, it's just a random check. 145 00:08:05,729 --> 00:08:07,137 Chode, before we board,... 146 00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:10,302 I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. 147 00:08:10,369 --> 00:08:13,936 It's not everyday an owner buys a ticket for their robot, so thank you. 148 00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:15,900 Ticket? What ticket? 149 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:22,900 Not funny, Chode. Not funny. 150 00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,100 Next! 151 00:08:41,002 --> 00:08:45,400 I'm not sure deregulating the timelines was the best idea. 152 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,400 Thank you for taking Temporal Adventures! 153 00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:51,500 Now with more leg and/or other appendage room. 154 00:08:54,714 --> 00:08:56,700 Good afternoon! This is your captain speaking. 155 00:08:56,900 --> 00:09:00,000 We're taking off. Please turn off electronic equipment... 156 00:09:00,034 --> 00:09:02,564 including such as cell phones, laptops, and robots. 157 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,500 I hate take-offs and landings. 158 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:17,100 Next stop, beginning of time. 159 00:09:51,296 --> 00:09:53,300 Oh yes! Do it to me! 160 00:09:59,030 --> 00:10:02,400 Let's congratulate the newest members of the mile high club! 161 00:10:04,369 --> 00:10:07,300 In a few moments we'll arrive at the creation of the universe. 162 00:10:07,501 --> 00:10:10,468 But first we have to cross the blue wavy lines... 163 00:10:10,502 --> 00:10:14,900 that no one has ever crossed before due to the ferocious tornadoes and turbulence! 164 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,000 So what makes us feel invulnerable? 165 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,100 Well it's simple: 166 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,200 Liquor! 167 00:10:28,006 --> 00:10:29,800 Please, God. Please don't kill me! 168 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:32,000 I'm sorry for all the horrible things I said about you. 169 00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,900 I do believe in you! I do believe! 170 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,000 So you do believe in God! 171 00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:39,000 I never said that. 172 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,500 Oh, yes, you did. 173 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,400 Listen, you metal prick! 174 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,500 I'll pretend to believe in him if it saves our lives. 175 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,000 But it's not like I really believe in him! 176 00:10:48,303 --> 00:10:50,000 I believe! 177 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:52,200 I was lying. 178 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,000 I believe! 179 00:10:56,261 --> 00:10:57,300 I was lying. 180 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,800 Hello, this is the captain speaking. 181 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:03,200 We've decided, after careful thought and consideration that... 182 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,000 we don't want to die! 183 00:11:11,869 --> 00:11:14,400 Complimentary videotape of your flight? 184 00:11:20,936 --> 00:11:22,301 What are we doing? 185 00:11:22,335 --> 00:11:23,700 I've got a plan. 186 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:29,800 Just as long as it doesn't involve stealing this timeplane and flying it ourselves back to the beginning of time,... 187 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,000 I'm with you. 188 00:11:32,631 --> 00:11:35,600 Thanks a lot for changing your mind about this whole thing. 189 00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:38,000 Your support really means a lot to me. 190 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,300 Mmm... pretty weird, huh? 191 00:11:58,237 --> 00:12:00,300 Hey buddy, we're almost there! 192 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,300 You can stop praying and just yell out the window. 193 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,000 Gus, get out of the door! I go first! 194 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,500 Master before slave. 195 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:18,734 You are on such a power trip. 196 00:12:18,768 --> 00:12:21,800 Me, on a power trip? That is so ridiculous. 197 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,800 Let there be light! 198 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,200 Hah! Look at that! 199 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,100 The big bang! 200 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,600 Are you sure we're at the beginning of time? 201 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:39,200 We're at the creation of the universe and what do I see? 202 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,400 Big bang! Tiny supernova! Digital readout! 203 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:47,300 Hmm... anything missing, Gus? Anything you don't see? 204 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,800 Who are you looking for, Gus? 205 00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:56,600 God. God! Oh, God! Oh! 206 00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:01,200 Well, you'd think he'd be here at the creation of his universe. 207 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,200 Unless he was just a scam. 208 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,400 I hate to admit it, but you were right. 209 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,700 There is no God. 210 00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:10,700 Look, if it'll make you feel any better,... 211 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,400 you can call me God. 212 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,100 Excuse me, gentlemen! 213 00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,100 We are so dead. 214 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,400 Gentlemen! 215 00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:39,800 We want to make sure you don't forget your souvenir videotape. 216 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,700 Souvenir videotape? 217 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,800 You never know when you'll want to relive your adventure. 218 00:13:44,836 --> 00:13:45,900 Thanks. 219 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,300 Well, that was a surprise. 220 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,000 Yeah. She cleans up nice. 221 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,000 I wonder where Nancy went? 222 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,836 She and her friends are probably out doing something religious,... 223 00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:01,000 like bombing abortion clinics. 224 00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,000 It's weird they're not here though. 225 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:06,400 Time travel always brings you back to the same time you left. 226 00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:10,400 - White pearls? - Nuh-uh. Black diamonds. 227 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:15,800 Welcome to timeport 7612-544. 228 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,800 As usual, all flights are on time. 229 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,500 Ok, maybe there is something a little off here. 230 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,200 First floor-- 231 00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:31,800 Second-- 232 00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,800 What if things are different here too? 233 00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:34,600 Third-- 234 00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:36,700 We'll cross that bridge when we find it. 235 00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:37,700 Bridge. 236 00:14:37,901 --> 00:14:42,578 Schlemiel, schlimazel, hasenpfeffer, incorporated! 237 00:14:42,918 --> 00:14:44,700 Or maybe we won't. 238 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,700 I actually thought I saw Six and T'nuk getting along. 239 00:14:50,677 --> 00:14:52,200 You two are friends? 240 00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:53,300 Friends? 241 00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,900 Heh. We're same-sex partners! 242 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,400 You know that, silly. 243 00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:00,700 First mate Chode and robot Gus! Ahoy! 244 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,000 All right, first question: 245 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,000 Why are you sitting in my chair? 246 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,000 Second question: 247 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:07,100 why is there a parrot on your shoulder? 248 00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:09,100 Because I'm the captain. 249 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,000 Raar! You know that, silly. 250 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,700 If ever there was a sign of the apocalypse... 251 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,700 Now that you've won the World Series, where are you going? 252 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,400 The happiest place on earth: 253 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,100 JŠ¹rusalem! 254 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:33,600 Bob! Come on, Bob, you daredevil! Take it easy. 255 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:34,700 You know, T'nuk,... 256 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,800 I may be a spaceship who takes wild risks,... 257 00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:39,400 but do you always have to refer to me as such? 258 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,400 Being reduced to a one-word label hurts. 259 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:43,000 How would you like it if I did that to you? 260 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,600 Oh, please! 261 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,700 Like you could sum up any of us with a one-word description. 262 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:50,800 Ok, whatever you say... 263 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:56,100 Sweet. Innocent. Motivated. Brave. Giver. 264 00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:57,700 What have we done? 265 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:01,200 I don't know. But I think I have a way to find out. 266 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:10,500 I was wrong. 267 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,600 This souvenir videotape is useless. 268 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:13,700 Wait. 269 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,600 I think I heard something right at the end there. 270 00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:19,500 Rewind it and go slow. 271 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:31,900 I guess there was a God. My bad. 272 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,300 Do you think he's dead? 273 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:36,700 Hey, Six, what's the deal with sex nowadays? 274 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,400 Deal? There's no deal. You want to have sex, you just have sex. 275 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,100 Yep. He's dead. 276 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,500 We killed God! 277 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,100 We have to go back immediately and fix this! 278 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:48,800 - Not so fast! - What? 279 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,800 Why should we bring the big guy back? 280 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,700 Look around. No wars. No religions... 281 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:56,900 The only bummer is, no teenage girls walking around... 282 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,700 in catholic school uniforms. 283 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,100 Chode, enough. 284 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,500 We have to go back and unkill God. 285 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,500 Hey, Gus-muffin. Hee hee! 286 00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,168 Ready for some hot metal-on-metal action? 287 00:17:07,202 --> 00:17:08,600 God help me! 288 00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:12,800 Yep, I killed God, and the universe is a better place. 289 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:16,500 I wonder if they'll erect a statue of me? 290 00:17:18,303 --> 00:17:20,600 Yeah, I go to a bank and there's no safe. 291 00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,900 The money's just in a big pile in the corner. 292 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,500 You just take what you need! 293 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,100 I have to admit it's great. 294 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,300 I say "I guess I'll just try sex". 295 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,600 I get a penis attachment! 296 00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:30,900 I say "a large one please",... 297 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,500 I get that too! 298 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,700 How do I describe how great it all is? 299 00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,200 It's like... 300 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:37,800 christmas without the chris? 301 00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:38,900 Exactly! 302 00:17:38,936 --> 00:17:41,905 You know, Gus, after all the years of you claiming... 303 00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:45,100 that all the good in the universe was because of God,... 304 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,300 it's nice to know that you were wrong. 305 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:50,968 In fact, without God, everyone is just naturally good. 306 00:17:51,002 --> 00:17:53,500 Because without God, there's no Satan. 307 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,000 And without Satan, there's no evil. 308 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,500 Well, the important thing is... 309 00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,500 we're the only two in the universe who know how to be bad. 310 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,000 Ok. The only three. 311 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,700 You told Whip? 312 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,000 About the evil thing... 313 00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:12,100 I hope that wasn't a secret because I may have mentioned it to a few people. 314 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,800 Our top story tonight: 315 00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:17,900 Evel. 316 00:18:18,037 --> 00:18:19,400 Hmm? Evil. 317 00:18:19,434 --> 00:18:21,000 It's new and it's everywhere. 318 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:25,000 We begin our team coverage tonight with Hank Hanson, live on the street. Hank? 319 00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:25,900 Thanks, Jim. 320 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:28,800 Just a few days ago, no one knew what stealing meant. 321 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,300 Now everyone's doing it! 322 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,300 Apparently, the new way of thinking is: 323 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,100 if you want something, you take it even if it's not yours! 324 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,400 - Gimme that microphone! - No! 325 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,100 Hank Hanson. He will be missed. 326 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,600 Elsewhere in the universe,... 327 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,700 other types of evil have been invented. 328 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,400 For this, we go to Dan Danson. Dan? 329 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:54,100 Jim, you're witnessing a first. What you are about to see is shocking, disturbing... 330 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,800 and yet,... oddly arousing. 331 00:18:57,100 --> 00:19:01,300 Right now, this reporter is being raped in the ass. Oh! 332 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,200 Were you out stealing today, too? 333 00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:08,600 That's so yesterday. 334 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:09,700 Good. 335 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,600 Today, something new is all the rage. 336 00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:14,700 Senseless murder. 337 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,500 You see what you started? 338 00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,900 Robbery. Rape. Murder! 339 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,700 And my parents said I'd never do anything with my life. 340 00:19:27,768 --> 00:19:30,800 It's like they have no sense of right or wrong. 341 00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:34,500 Kind of hard to believe that there could actually be beings... 342 00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:36,500 with less of that than you. 343 00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:38,400 Well that's because I know there's a God... 344 00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:41,700 who eventually is going to hold me responsible for my actions. 345 00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:44,700 You know, I never thought I'd say this, but... 346 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,300 I miss God. 347 00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:51,592 It's like all his wars, plagues, wraths, furies, rages, smites, and guilt... 348 00:19:51,626 --> 00:19:53,700 made the world a better place. 349 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,500 Well, he is love. 350 00:19:55,534 --> 00:19:57,300 What do you say we go get him back? 351 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,200 Oh, there you are, Gus-muffin. 352 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,000 I learned a new word today. 353 00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:05,600 Sodomy. 354 00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:08,400 So the plan is, we're gonna go back in time,... 355 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,700 to right before the other plane hits God. 356 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,900 And then we land near, but not exactly where, the other one lands,... 357 00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:19,119 and with enough time to climb out, and push him, providing he can be pushed, out of the way,... 358 00:20:19,153 --> 00:20:21,700 before the next plane comes and hits him! 359 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,900 Which, by the way, is also being flown by us simultaneously. 360 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,000 Do you understand time travel? 361 00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,400 Not for the life of me. 362 00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:35,000 Pretty weird, huh? 363 00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,200 Wow! Deja vu. 364 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,000 So as a reward for saving me,... 365 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:44,600 not only will I erect a statue of you,... 366 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:50,000 but consider yourselves my only begotten sons. 367 00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,800 Suckers!