1
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:11,112
That cloud looks like a banana,
eating a banana.
2
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,948
Whoa. Bananabalism.
(laughing)
3
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,651
Uh, Flower, is that a bear?
4
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,019
Oh, that one does
look like a bear.
5
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,221
Good call, Ira.
6
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:21,222
No. I mean
7
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,257
right there.
(growling)
8
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,727
Hey, Mr. Bear.
How are you today?
9
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,263
Mm. She is not long
for this world.
10
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,031
Thor happy for bear.
11
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,500
Eat well tonight.
12
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,835
What's that?
Oh, you want a hug?
13
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,804
I don't think that's
what he's saying, Flower!
14
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:39,073
(bear growling,
Flower screaming)
15
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,308
(Ira screams)
16
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,776
(bear growling)
17
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,945
(claws ripping)
18
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,780
(Thor clears throat)
19
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,984
♪ ♪
20
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,388
And she's staying.
21
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,724
Hey.
Hi.
22
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,059
What are
you guys looking at?
23
00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,596
Oh, man, I'd hate
to be her.
24
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,732
THOR: Yeah.
Ugh.
25
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,336
So, were you guys
at the music festival, or...
26
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:11,605
♪ ♪
27
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:16,344
ISAAC:
And while today
he may be celebrated
28
00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:17,678
as a great man,
29
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,580
it turns out Hamilton was
30
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,349
a bit of
a nose-picker.
31
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:22,416
Yeah, why don't
you tell me
32
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,651
about the revolution?
33
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,085
What got you
interested in that?
34
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:27,555
Oh. Well,
I mean, suppose
35
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,623
it was around the time
of the Stamp Act.
36
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,625
You see, the Crown had
levied the most unjust tax
37
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,461
on the colonies... Hmm.
38
00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:34,528
I'm sorry, what was that?
39
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,330
Mm, nothing.
40
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,366
Just a frog in my throat.
I see.
41
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:41,068
Um, anyway, where was I?
Oh, yes.
42
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,970
The Crown had levied
a tax on the colonies
43
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:45,239
to pay for their costly
war with France--
44
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,541
Hmm.
Okay, well, there it is again.
45
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:48,809
(doorbell ringing)
46
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,244
Sorry, I should
get that.
47
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,712
Wait-- Wait,
but what about the book?
48
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,248
Sam, did you know
they wouldn't let Hamilton sign
49
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,016
the Declaration of Independence?
50
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,886
Yes! They knew where
those fingers had been!
51
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:02,490
This is Paula. She's interested
in renting out our property
52
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,057
as a shooting location.
53
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,194
I'm with a docu-series
called Dumb Deaths.
54
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,396
I don't know if you're aware,
but this property was actually
55
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:09,630
the site of a dumb death.
56
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,332
Could you be more specific?
57
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,267
There were a number of dumb
deaths that took place here.
58
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:17,471
And also just some
regular ones, too.
59
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,207
Well, the one we're
interested in involves
60
00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:20,608
a hippie back in the '60s.
61
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,643
Oh, Flower... child.
62
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,313
A flower child is probably is
what you're talking about.
63
00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:26,814
The woman's name
was Susan Montero.
64
00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:29,783
She wandered over from
a music festival high on drugs.
65
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:32,386
And then she tried
to hug a bear.
66
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,655
So, the show would
be making fun of me?
67
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,357
I don't love that.
68
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,759
The shoot would be two days
and we'd give you $10,000.
69
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:42,129
$10,000? That's more
than I paid for my Skylark.
70
00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:44,232
Uh, we could certainly
use the money.
71
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:47,601
Yeah, our busy season just
ended and it wasn't that busy.
72
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,237
So, what do you say?
73
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,171
Well, I...
74
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,172
Sam, I said no.
75
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:53,774
I don't want to look dumb.
76
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,977
Tell this lady and that guy
that we're not interested.
77
00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:58,946
PETE: Um,
Flower, look,
78
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,814
I think you're looking
at this the wrong way.
79
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:04,652
I mean, this is an opportunity
to really help Sam and Jay here.
80
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,355
Were you going to say something?
81
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:10,123
Yes. Yes, I was just
82
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,592
thinking
about your offer.
83
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,126
So, give me one moment.
84
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:16,029
Mm. Yeah, this is all
just part of her process.
85
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,465
She's very deliberative.
86
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,533
As a small business owner
in life myself,
87
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,602
I can attest to the fact
that these early days
88
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,537
can be some
of the most stressful.
89
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,710
You should see her try
to pick out a movie. Oof!
90
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,979
Heck, I've arguably got
the dumbest death of them all.
91
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,615
But I'd still be proud
to be able to lend a hand.
92
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,684
I mean, think of all
Sam does for us.
93
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:39,987
Yeah, Flower.
Do it for Sam and Jay.
94
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,556
I guess you're right.
95
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,493
Okay, Sam.
They can do the show about me.
96
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:49,162
Okay. Having thought
about the pros and cons,
97
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,064
I think we should do it.
98
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,800
Great.
99
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,668
ISAAC:
You know, Nigel,
100
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,036
earlier today,
when I was telling Sam
101
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,372
about the injustices
building up to the war,
102
00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:01,542
you, um, had a reaction.
103
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,845
A reaction?
A rather pointed, "Hmm."
104
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:05,713
Did I?
105
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,914
I'm still getting to know
106
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,081
all your adorable little tics,
107
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:11,184
but this pointed "Hmm"
seems to occur
108
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,986
only when you're displeased.
109
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,789
I thought it was actually
quite a reserved utterance,
110
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,191
given the egregious
misrepresentation of history
111
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:20,594
I was hearing.
Excuse me?
112
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:23,664
Well, the Stamp
Act you maligned
113
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,033
was necessary to pay
for the many troops
114
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,901
we brought to protect
you from France
115
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,169
during the Seven Years' War.
116
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,305
Oh. Please.
117
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,607
If anything, you rebels
should be thanking us.
118
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,876
Thanking you? Thor.
119
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,446
Thor, could you come
in here for a second?
120
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,514
I need you to settle
something for us.
121
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,115
Who was right
about the Stamp Act?
122
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:46,354
Well, Thor feel there's no
real upside to weighing in here.
123
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,589
Don't want to get
in middle of--
124
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,524
NIGEL:
Oh, come now.
125
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,526
Was it the righteous monarchy
126
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,795
or the sniveling colonists?
127
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,130
What's that? (laughs)
128
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,099
Be right there!
129
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,708
Whoa, that guy's shirt says,
"It's Getting Hot In Here,
130
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,610
season one."
Yeah, the producer said
131
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:10,944
it's actually
a lot of the same crew.
132
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,781
We walk amongst the gods!
(laughs)
133
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:16,083
So how are you
gonna shoot the bear?
134
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:18,285
Is it gonna be CGI or are
you gonna get one of those guys
135
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,387
in a bear suit?
136
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,854
Oh, we actually pivoted
137
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,856
from the hippie hugging
a bear idea.
138
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,725
What?
The network felt there were
139
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,594
too many animal episodes
this season.
140
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,729
But we had the location,
so we looked into
141
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,564
some of the other deaths
your wife had mentioned.
142
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,732
Huh.
143
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,634
It turns out some idiot
144
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,102
got shot teaching archery
145
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,004
to a bunch of little girls.
(chuckles)
146
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,240
(English accent):
Thank you, so nice to meet you.
147
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,609
What's your name?
148
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:44,277
Oh, my God.
They're doing you, Pete.
149
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,880
Aw, now you get
to help Sam and Jay.
150
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,316
You must be so happy.
151
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:50,818
This is... so cool.
152
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:53,220
I'm so sorry,
I don't want to be that guy.
153
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,856
But mobile phones
weren't around in 1985.
154
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,525
So, would you mind?
155
00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,359
Just--
I know you're not onscreen,
156
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,928
but it's just the vibe for me.
157
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,230
Also, could somebody
please fetch me a Tab?
158
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,804
I actually put on
75 pounds for my last role.
159
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,205
Took months to lose it,
160
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,341
but no one will ever forget
Customer Number Two.
161
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,977
You sure
you okay with this, Pete?
162
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,746
Yeah, I was rattled at first,
163
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,748
but I was right
in what I told Flower.
164
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:23,551
I mean, this is my chance
to really help Jay and Sam.
165
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,252
Daniel, um,
could I have a quick word?
166
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,287
Just have a few questions
about my character.
167
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,423
Well, it's five lines
168
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,024
and then you get shot
with an arrow, but sure.
169
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:34,094
What drives Pete Martino?
170
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,597
Who is Pete Martino?
171
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:39,399
A good-hearted man.
Kind to his family and troops.
172
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,969
Dude, he's an idiot.
Got killed by a little girl.
173
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,471
Okay, that's another take.
174
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,005
Now, why would he do something
175
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,340
so unbelievably stupid?
176
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,209
You know,
what causes a man--
177
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,144
an experienced
troop leader--
178
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,581
to put himself directly
in the line of fire?
179
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,516
I don't know.
Maybe he was drunk?
180
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:56,416
What?
181
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,519
That's crazy. Were you?
182
00:06:58,619 --> 00:06:59,920
No!
183
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,154
Yes, of course he was.
184
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,923
He looked around one day
and realized
185
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,258
how pathetic his life was.
186
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:08,562
A travel agent
booking other people's holidays
187
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,297
while going nowhere himself.
188
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,232
Hey, we went to Epcot, buddy.
189
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,167
That's the whole world
all at once!
190
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,670
And so he hit the bottle.
I can play that.
191
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,438
Great. We good?
192
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,541
Mm-hmm.
I'll need a flask.
193
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,510
I'll talk to Props.
194
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,177
Hey, do not get him a "flahsk"!
195
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,580
We do not need a flask! Sam!
196
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,082
Sorry, in a bit of a rush.
197
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,785
Who is this woman who just
walked to the head of the line?
198
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,086
That's the producer.
199
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,588
That's the most baller job
on a film set.
200
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,857
She could fire someone
for just looking at her.
201
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,759
Really?
So powerful.
202
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,393
Hey, Paula, hey, hi.
203
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,496
The arrow guy's a drunk now.
Which flask do you want?
204
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,765
I'd like to see
some more choices.
205
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,234
Is that a problem, Gary?
No, ma'am.
206
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,402
No, right away.
207
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,838
I like her.
208
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,375
ISAAC:
Can I bend your ears
about something?
209
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,979
I am in the most
frustrating tiff with Nigel.
210
00:07:59,079 --> 00:07:59,980
About what?
211
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,381
The American Revolution.
212
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,083
Mm, may be time
to let this one go, bud.
213
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,484
No, no, no, I get it.
214
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,319
It's like you guys are rooting
for different teams.
215
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,420
I've been there.
216
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,189
I was a huge Giants fan
217
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,424
and I dated this chick who liked
the Eagles. Mortal enemies.
218
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,326
S-So, what did you do?
219
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,762
Whenever football came up,
220
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,697
I would change the subject
to something
221
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,599
that no one would
find controversial,
222
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,034
like, uh, The Cosby Show
or Woody Allen movies.
223
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:24,872
So you're saying
in order to keep the peace,
224
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,340
I should avoid the war?
225
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,276
Damn, Isaac, that was good.
226
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,612
Suck on that, Hamilton.
(laughs)
227
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,446
What's going on?
Pete's upset with the way
228
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,015
the show is trying
to portray him.
229
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,684
It's a gosh darn hatchet job!
230
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,152
Sorry about the locker room
talk, but I am steamed.
231
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,955
They're implying that he was
drunk the day of the incident.
232
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,357
Look, I may not have had
the perfect marriage.
233
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,126
And at work,
I was a good travel agent,
234
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,527
but I was no Greg Flannagan.
235
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,630
Famous travel agent?
236
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,765
There are no famous
travel agents.
237
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,101
The point is, the one thing
I could hang my hat on
238
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,103
was that I was
a great Scout troop leader.
239
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,606
Those kids loved me,
and I was there for them.
240
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,641
That's what makes
this so hurtful.
241
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,476
Hey, uh, Paula,
could I just have a second?
242
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,445
I'm a little concerned
about this whole,
243
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,314
"Portraying Pete
as a drunk" thing.
244
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,583
Um, yeah, we don't typically
take creative notes
245
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,218
from the owners
of the location.
246
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,953
Now, is that all?
Because Paula and I have
247
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,822
a million things to do if
we're gonna make our day.
248
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,224
Right, it's just,
I actually know his widow.
249
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,359
I met his grandkid.
250
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:20,594
Oh, God,
Little Pete's gonna see this.
251
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,295
This is how he's gonna know me.
252
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,463
And I don't think
they would appreciate
253
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,898
an inaccurate depiction.
254
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,800
How do you know it's inaccurate?
Were you there?
255
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,468
Yes!
No.
256
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,170
Okay, well,
if we need you
257
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,404
to move your cars or anything,
258
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:32,873
we'll let you know.
259
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,008
Producers coming through,
clear the way.
260
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,478
This is so unfair.
261
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,013
They can't do this
to my guy Pete.
262
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,348
What are we supposed to do, Jay?
263
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,983
They're right, we weren't there.
264
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,986
But we were.
265
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,555
Right, that's also not helpful.
266
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:51,358
What about one
of his old troopers?
267
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,693
That's it.
268
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,027
We could track one of them down
269
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,328
and they could set
the record straight.
270
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,697
That's a great idea!
271
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,431
I'll look them up,
and assuming they're not
272
00:09:58,531 --> 00:09:59,967
too traumatized
to talk about it,
273
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:00,968
we'll make it happen.
274
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,502
It was very traumatizing.
275
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,905
Thor not sleep for many
moons after witnessing.
276
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:08,308
And I've chopped heads off,
and drank blood from open necks.
277
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,278
Now, let's track down
a middle-aged woman.
278
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,913
(laughs)
279
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:18,986
Isaac, I hope you're not
too upset to go on our stroll.
280
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:20,220
Just the opposite.
281
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,855
And I was thinking
282
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,491
we should avoid talk
of the revolution altogether.
283
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,293
Ah. Splendid idea.
284
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,996
Ooh, I wonder
if we'll see ducks!
285
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,397
You know, I was thinking,
286
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,999
we always go for a walk
by the lake.
287
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,601
Why not mix it up and go
for a walk in the woods instead?
288
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:36,403
That would be
most enjoyable.
289
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:38,672
But it is tradition
that we stroll by the lake.
290
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,207
It's how
we've always strolled.
291
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,609
Yes, but sometimes tradition
is meant to be broken,
292
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:43,877
especially when one party
293
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,679
desires to go
in a new direction.
294
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,415
Well, why go in a new direction
when the old direction
295
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,950
is working just fine?
296
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,985
I deserve a vote
in where we walk.
297
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:54,354
No ambulation
without representation.
298
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:55,923
Wait a minute.
299
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,191
You're not talking
about the walk!
300
00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,793
Oh, nothing gets by you,
does it?
301
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,029
Except the most prosperous
colony in all the empire.
302
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:05,699
Oh! This is precisely
the kind of childish behavior
303
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,534
one would expect from a...
304
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,002
A what?
305
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,871
Say it. I dare you.
306
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,605
Yankee.
307
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,207
(gasps) You did not.
308
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,010
Yankee, Yankee, Yankee, Yankee!
(gasps)
309
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,611
I don't get this rewrite.
310
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:19,947
Why would I say "Howdy?"
311
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,215
Is this a Western?
Am I Jonathan Wayne?
312
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,316
Just say the words.
313
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,517
Picture's up in ten
314
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:25,719
and we're running
out of daylight.
315
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,855
Thank you so much
for coming.
316
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,857
It would mean a lot to Pete's
family that you're here.
317
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:31,859
I mean, it was a pretty
crazy call to get,
318
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,894
but if I can do something to
help out Mr. Martino, I'm game.
319
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,529
Aw, she's a good kid.
Oh, Sam, offer her a ring-pop.
320
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,131
Cherry's her favorite flavor.
321
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:41,401
Paula, I would like to introduce
you to Jennifer Macklin.
322
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,136
She's actually one
of the little girls
323
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,305
from Pete's Pinecone troop.
Pete?
324
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,274
The guy who died?
325
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,675
Oh, right,
this week's idiot.
326
00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:50,043
She has a lot
on her plate.
327
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,845
You were there?
328
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,180
Tell me everything, Jennifer.
329
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,984
Bring me inside the
mind... of a madman.
330
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,486
Well, for one, Mr. Martino
would never have a flask.
331
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,587
He wasn't a drinker.
332
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,189
Ha, see? I told you.
333
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,858
But he was a bitter soul,
334
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,860
visibly haunted
by demons from his past?
335
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,762
(chuckling):
No. I'm sorry.
336
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,598
That's about the exact opposite
of Mr. Martino.
337
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,134
Damn it!
Whatever tenuous foothold I had
338
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,602
into this man is gone.
339
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,137
I've completely
lost my character.
340
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,206
Right, back to basics.
341
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,640
I'm a bumbling cuckold
342
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,742
whose only friends
are little children.
343
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,344
So, you see,
Pete did nothing wrong.
344
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:25,879
It was an unfortunate incident
345
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,148
and nothing "dumb"
on Pete's part.
346
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,183
Yeah, sorry, Paula, if that's
not good for your show,
347
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,052
but, I mean, you heard
it from an eyewitness.
348
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,154
Well, he did do something
sort of dumb.
349
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,622
Wait, what?
350
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,424
Was it pills? Pills I can play.
Was it pills?
351
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,759
For some reason, on that day,
I remember him handing out
352
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,395
the bows and arrows
before the safety demonstration.
353
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:43,831
What? That's not true.
354
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,799
40 years seems like
an awfully long time
355
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,234
for such a small detail.
356
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,601
No, this
I'm sure about.
357
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,070
He just seemed
really distracted.
358
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,239
He kept muttering
something about donut holes.
359
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,740
Oh, my God...
360
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:57,945
Yeah. You were muttering
about donut holes.
361
00:12:58,045 --> 00:12:59,412
She's right.
362
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,814
It all started that morning
363
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,883
before I headed
to the archery lesson.
364
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,618
(exhales)
365
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,090
Is, uh-- Sweetie, did-did you
eat the rest of the donut holes?
366
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,825
Yeah, I thought
you were done with them.
367
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,593
No, Carol, I was looking forward
368
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:15,528
to having some before I left.
369
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,297
You don't even like donut holes.
370
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,366
No, I like donut holes.
I don't like donuts.
371
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,068
Okay, that doesn't
make any sense.
372
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:23,236
The donut holes are
punched out of the donut.
That's wrong.
373
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,972
You see, donut holes come
from their own machine.
374
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,540
Okay, even if that were true,
375
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,910
they're all donut material!
376
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,679
I was so distracted,
I must have handed out
377
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,347
the arrows before doing
the safety speech.
378
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:38,651
Okay, so he wasn't a reckless
drunk, he was just an idiot?
379
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,053
Are we done here?
380
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,821
♪ ♪
381
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,491
Don't listen to her, Pete.
382
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,859
PETE:
Why not? She's right.
383
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,727
I failed those girls.
384
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,998
I was a terrible
Pinecone troop leader.
385
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:55,002
A sugar fiend
in need of his fix.
386
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:59,239
His blind pursuit of pastries
ultimately costing him his life,
387
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,641
and earning me a general meeting
with JJ Abrams,
388
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,110
or someone at his company.
389
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,683
So, how's Pete doing?
He looks pretty glum.
390
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,153
He tried to rip off his
Pinecone Trooper badge,
391
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:14,821
but it just zapped
right back into place.
392
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,623
Thanks for
highlighting my impotence.
393
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,926
What's going on?
Pete's impotent.
394
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:22,362
Oh, is that why he didn't
want to be our third?
395
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:25,598
It's okay. There's
still stuff you can do.
396
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,666
SAM:
Paula.
397
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,501
I'm sorry,
but we're going to have
398
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,003
to shut
this whole thing down.
399
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,004
Oh, my God.
400
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,372
Just forget it, Sam.
401
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,774
I died dumb.
It's time to pay the piper.
402
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,377
I get that it's accurate now,
but as friends of Pete's family,
403
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,212
we just don't
feel comfortable...
404
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,647
Here's the thing.
You signed a contract
405
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,382
stipulating we can shoot here,
406
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:45,185
so we're shooting here.
Okay, sweetie?
407
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,455
And that is why you are you,
408
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:52,359
and she produced
World's Hottest Dentists.
409
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,197
SAM:
Isaac...
410
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,999
what's going on?
411
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:02,435
It's just this thing
that I have with Nigel.
412
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,037
It's not going to last.
413
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,472
What happened?
414
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,377
It's just that our differences
are simply irreconcilable.
415
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,880
Americans and the British
are sworn enemies
416
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,249
and it shall remain that way
until the end of time.
417
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,618
Isaac.
Hmm?
418
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,821
Britain and the U.S.
are basically best friends.
419
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,190
(chuckles)
420
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,791
What? Really?
421
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:26,726
They are, like,
our closest ally.
422
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:29,096
You know, there's even
a name for the friendship
423
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,830
between Britain and America.
424
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,166
It's called,
"The Special Relationship."
425
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,767
Honestly, Samantha,
426
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,404
I'm impressed with
your knowledge of geopolitics.
427
00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:39,306
Thank you. I...
I learned it from a movie
428
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:40,807
called Love Actually.
429
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,375
There we go.
430
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,211
All right, last looks,
everybody!
431
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,746
Oh, Daniel,
an idea, if I may.
432
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,816
When the arrow's punctured
my neck and shattered
433
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:51,084
Pete Martino's dreams...
434
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,120
I urinate.
435
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,487
Sure, why not?
436
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,456
You know, that's real.
That's what the body does.
437
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,691
I like it.
PAULA:
Yeah, that's not bad.
438
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,194
Wardrobe!
We're gonna need more shorts.
439
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,729
This is going great.
440
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:03,863
Poor Pete.
441
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,498
We have to do
something to stop this.
442
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,867
Sam already tried,
but it didn't work.
443
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,371
Well...
444
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:15,675
then we do something.
445
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,111
♪ ♪
446
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,979
Are you gonna make
a suggestion, or...
447
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,883
Oh. No, Thor just trying
to get the ball rolling.
448
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,786
You know?
While I have poured
449
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:29,289
my heart and soul
into this production,
450
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,491
my allegiance is with Peter.
451
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,393
And I know how we can
shut this thing down.
452
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,062
Thor, we'll need
your ghost power.
453
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,963
We're going to focus
your destructive capacity
454
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:38,998
on the most important part
of any production.
455
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,300
The writer?
456
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,768
(laughs)
457
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:44,771
Oh, sorry, I thought you were
purposely making a joke.
458
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:48,075
No. I am talking about...
the camera.
459
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,110
CREWMAN:
All right, picture's up!
460
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,445
(slurping)
461
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,586
Okay, I've got three takes
in me. Let's make them count.
462
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,354
All right, the stunt
of him getting shot
463
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,789
in the neck is up next,
so just make sure
464
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,657
the bow and arrow's ready. Copy.
465
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,626
I know I'm not technically
with production,
466
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,196
but hey, I am the owner
of the house,
467
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,464
so gimme a tuna sandwich, huh?
468
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,233
No one has to know.
DANIEL:
All right.
469
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,703
So, you've given the little
girls the bow and arrows.
470
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,671
You should have given them
the safety precautions,
471
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,974
but you were too distracted
by your donut hole rant.
472
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,277
Okay, just say, "Action,"
I can't hold it in much longer.
473
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,214
And... action!
474
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:29,882
Girls, listen up,
pay attention.
475
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:30,950
Thor, camera!
476
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,286
Prepare to be destroyed,
tiny foe!
477
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,454
(grunts)
478
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,323
I'd like to talk to you through
479
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:37,957
some important
safety procedures.
480
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,792
This is all information that
would've been really useful
481
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,929
before you handed out
the deadly weapons, you idiot!
482
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,731
(screaming)
483
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:47,267
(electric beep)
Oh, just lost a battery.
484
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,001
(gasps)
You did it, Thor!
485
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:52,004
Because I told him so.
Producing!
486
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,072
Okay, good to go.
487
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,174
What?
488
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,875
All right, action!
What?
489
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:57,677
Listen up, girls,
pay attention.
490
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,312
You got another one
in you, big guy?
491
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,813
You can do it.
492
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,782
Come on, Thor.
Come on, Thor.
493
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,017
FLOWER: Ow! Oh.
Ooh.
494
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,753
Whoa,
what was in that tuna wrap?
495
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,155
HETTY:
Oh, he's quite stoned.
496
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,057
Hey. You want to go
for a ride, little buddy?
497
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:14,026
Oh.
498
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,195
Ow!
499
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,529
Jay!
500
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,664
(all exclaiming)
501
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,599
Is there an arrow in my butt?
502
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,935
Do not remove the arrow.
Stay calm.
503
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,671
Help.
Is anyone going
to do anything?
504
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,073
Do not remove the arrow.
Stay calm. Okay.
505
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:28,475
Bandages. Tape.
506
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:30,009
Uh, we need to support the arrow
and secure it.
507
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,678
Then we're gonna make
a tourniquet.
508
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,280
Bandages. Tape.
We need to support the arrow,
509
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,948
secure it, and then we're
going to make a tourniquet.
510
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,186
Wait, so
Jennifer can hear ghosts?
511
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:43,190
No. She just... remembers.
512
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:47,527
Because you were
a good troop leader.
513
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,529
I guess I was.
514
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,864
♪ ♪
515
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:55,235
Oh, that's a waste.
516
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,437
And he wet himself.
517
00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,440
Wardrobe.
We're gonna need new shorts.
518
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,908
And socks!
519
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,510
Also socks.
520
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,017
NARRATOR:
Everybody dies.
521
00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,119
But not everybody dies... dumbly.
522
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,988
This is Dumb Deaths.
523
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,691
Oh, is this the program
they did about Peter?
524
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,528
No, uh, after Jay got
shot with an arrow,
525
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:22,995
we agreed not to sue
in return for them
526
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,564
not doing Pete's story.
527
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,333
Thank you, Sam.
FLOWER:
But we still wanted
528
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,067
Sam and Jay to
get paid, so...
529
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,102
NARRATOR:
This week's dummy is a hippie
530
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,639
who tried to hug a bear.
531
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,241
(bear growls, woman screams)
532
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,942
Hey, glad you
and Nigel made up.
533
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,310
Yes. If America and England
534
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,246
can resolve their issues,
so can we.
535
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,381
They are very
similar countries.
536
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,816
So one has
a parliamentary system
537
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,453
that's slightly superior.
No matter.
538
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,455
Hmm.
539
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,122
What was that,
my special friend?
540
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,024
Hmm? Oh, nothing,
my special friend.
541
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,160
Sam, you're on the TV.
542
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,664
Yo, man, is that a bear?
543
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,733
I bet it totally
wants to hug me.
544
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,403
Uh...
Hey, Fluffy.
545
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:06,373
Ooh! Oh, my God,
this is so embarrassing.
546
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:09,075
Then why did you insist they
cast you as part of the deal?
547
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,677
Who else was gonna
step in last second?
548
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,912
And besides, I was in
drama club in high school.
549
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,447
I thought
you just built sets.
550
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,549
Because of politics, Jay!
ACTOR: No!
551
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:20,387
This was supposed to be a hip
and groovy day, you dig?
552
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:24,524
But this is like...
the opposite of groovy!
553
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,859
Didn't the real Ira
run off screaming?
554
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:27,960
He didn't think
that was something
555
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:28,995
his character would do.
556
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:30,530
There's no such thing
557
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,031
as free love.
558
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:35,234
There's always a price.
559
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,237
(groaning)
560
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:41,140
Is he... soiling himself?
561
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,210
Yep.
562
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:53,119
Captioning sponsored by CBS
563
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:56,723
and TOYOTA.
564
00:20:56,823 --> 00:21:01,260
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org