1 00:00:07,302 --> 00:00:10,131 Welcome to Woodstone B and B. 2 00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:13,264 Babe? 3 00:00:16,441 --> 00:00:20,271 Jay? Jay? 4 00:00:20,402 --> 00:00:23,187 That not good. 5 00:00:23,318 --> 00:00:26,582 Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling? 6 00:00:26,712 --> 00:00:28,105 I'm okay, it's just that I really 7 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:30,586 - hit my head hard, though. - Ouch. 8 00:00:30,716 --> 00:00:32,327 Do you think I can see 'em? 9 00:00:32,457 --> 00:00:34,111 - See who? - The ghosts. 10 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,460 I mean, when you hit your head, you could see ghosts. 11 00:00:35,591 --> 00:00:38,768 Are there any ghosts - in here right now? - No. 12 00:00:38,898 --> 00:00:40,596 Okay, well, that's probably why I'm not seeing any. 13 00:00:40,726 --> 00:00:42,076 So far, so good. 14 00:00:42,206 --> 00:00:43,729 The dream is still alive. 15 00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:45,166 I'm gonna go check downstairs. 16 00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:47,559 You should just stay here, get some rest. 17 00:00:47,690 --> 00:00:48,952 Yeah, you're right. 18 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,519 Thanks, babe. Love you. 19 00:00:50,649 --> 00:00:52,086 Love you. 20 00:01:01,051 --> 00:01:02,487 Flower? 21 00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:05,577 Hey, Thor? 22 00:01:05,708 --> 00:01:09,364 Isaac? No Pants? 23 00:01:11,496 --> 00:01:12,410 Oh, my God. 24 00:01:12,541 --> 00:01:15,109 Pete. 25 00:01:15,239 --> 00:01:17,850 Jay. You can see me?! 26 00:01:17,981 --> 00:01:21,376 Gadzooks! Jay can see us! 27 00:01:21,506 --> 00:01:23,378 I don't believe it. 28 00:01:25,728 --> 00:01:27,121 Bring it in, big fella. 29 00:01:27,251 --> 00:01:28,731 No, no, no. 30 00:01:30,515 --> 00:01:32,343 What is happening? 31 00:01:32,474 --> 00:01:35,303 Hey, where's your arrow? 32 00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:37,522 Jay, why are you hugging the delivery guy? 33 00:01:37,653 --> 00:01:39,524 Huh? 34 00:01:40,612 --> 00:01:42,484 Damn it. 35 00:01:52,102 --> 00:01:54,496 As you all know, our first guests-- 36 00:01:54,626 --> 00:01:56,237 not including the ones that left 37 00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:58,500 after the floor collapsed-- will be arriving at any moment. 38 00:01:58,630 --> 00:02:00,154 Please be young and hot. 39 00:02:00,284 --> 00:02:02,199 And we really need this visit to go well. 40 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,767 After the floor thing, the last people gave us a scathing 41 00:02:04,897 --> 00:02:06,638 one-star review on Yelp. 42 00:02:06,769 --> 00:02:09,598 Which is a website where customers can rate and review 43 00:02:09,728 --> 00:02:12,688 businesses like our B and B. 44 00:02:12,818 --> 00:02:14,603 The fates of industry should not be decided 45 00:02:14,733 --> 00:02:15,778 by commoners. 46 00:02:15,908 --> 00:02:17,171 Sometimes you bite into a sausage 47 00:02:17,301 --> 00:02:19,129 and you get a worker's thumb. 48 00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:21,697 Get on with your miserable day and let the factory owners be. 49 00:02:21,827 --> 00:02:24,526 The point is, we need everyone on their best behavior. 50 00:02:24,656 --> 00:02:27,398 Yeah, and that means no ghost powers. Okay? 51 00:02:27,529 --> 00:02:29,444 Thorfinn, no futzing with the electricity. 52 00:02:29,574 --> 00:02:30,923 And, guys, 53 00:02:31,054 --> 00:02:31,968 let's just stay out of their room. Okay? 54 00:02:32,098 --> 00:02:33,317 It's not a peep show. 55 00:02:33,448 --> 00:02:34,710 Yeah, 56 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,712 I'm looking at you, No Pants. 57 00:02:36,842 --> 00:02:38,888 - No, you're not, sweetie. - Damn it. 58 00:02:39,018 --> 00:02:39,976 It's cute how bad he wants it. 59 00:02:40,106 --> 00:02:41,804 Oh, come on. 60 00:02:41,934 --> 00:02:42,805 Why do you care if we go in the guests' rooms? 61 00:02:42,935 --> 00:02:43,980 They won't know. 62 00:02:44,110 --> 00:02:45,373 Yeah, we've been spying on Livings 63 00:02:45,503 --> 00:02:46,852 for hundreds of years. 64 00:02:46,983 --> 00:02:49,028 Until TV it was our only form of entertainment. 65 00:02:49,159 --> 00:02:50,726 Yeah, honestly, Sam, 66 00:02:50,856 --> 00:02:54,295 if we can't spy, why are we even opening this B and B? 67 00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:57,515 Uh, to earn money so we can eat. 68 00:02:57,646 --> 00:03:00,910 Oh, someone can consume food. Must be nice. 69 00:03:03,347 --> 00:03:06,568 And I'm like, that ain't a ruler, it's a bracelet, bro. 70 00:03:06,698 --> 00:03:08,787 Yes. 71 00:03:08,918 --> 00:03:10,876 Oh, hey, Nigel. What are y'all watching? 72 00:03:11,007 --> 00:03:15,794 A historical program entitled How About Those '90s. 73 00:03:15,925 --> 00:03:18,057 Show's so fun, 74 00:03:18,188 --> 00:03:20,234 doesn't even feel like learning. 75 00:03:20,364 --> 00:03:21,974 MAN [on TV]: How do I get myself an intern? 76 00:03:22,105 --> 00:03:24,847 Well, it's getting late. 77 00:03:24,977 --> 00:03:26,196 What? Oh, no, but we're still 78 00:03:26,327 --> 00:03:27,850 at nineteen hundred and ninety-four. 79 00:03:27,980 --> 00:03:29,243 We don't even know if that O.J. fellow 80 00:03:29,373 --> 00:03:31,070 tracks down the real killers. 81 00:03:31,201 --> 00:03:33,812 Isaac, feel free to call on me at the shed. Adieu. 82 00:03:33,943 --> 00:03:36,641 How about those '90s, huh? 83 00:03:36,772 --> 00:03:38,556 Is it just me, or does he seem rather uncomfortable 84 00:03:38,687 --> 00:03:40,863 - hanging out here at the mansion? - I must say, 85 00:03:40,993 --> 00:03:43,169 he did seem in quite a hurry to leave. 86 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,867 Yes, I wonder if something's wrong. 87 00:03:44,997 --> 00:03:46,477 Well, have you talked to him about it? 88 00:03:46,608 --> 00:03:48,479 No. 89 00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:51,003 That sounds like an unpleasant conversation. 90 00:03:51,134 --> 00:03:54,093 Indeed. Avoid relationship conflict at all costs. 91 00:03:54,224 --> 00:03:55,269 - Yes. - Bottle it up. 92 00:03:55,399 --> 00:03:57,445 Allow the resentment to fester 93 00:03:57,575 --> 00:03:59,621 until the hatred becomes so ever-present 94 00:03:59,751 --> 00:04:01,231 you must turn to the sweet, sweet milk 95 00:04:01,362 --> 00:04:03,189 of mother morphine to numb the pain. 96 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,455 Yeah, a short conversation couldn't hurt. 97 00:04:07,585 --> 00:04:10,196 Damn, did you get a new perfume, Sam? 98 00:04:10,327 --> 00:04:11,894 It is working, girl. 99 00:04:12,024 --> 00:04:13,069 It was my late mother's. 100 00:04:13,199 --> 00:04:14,940 I only have a little bit left, 101 00:04:15,071 --> 00:04:16,464 so I use it sparingly 102 00:04:16,594 --> 00:04:18,204 whenever I want to feel her watch over me. 103 00:04:18,335 --> 00:04:20,076 Thank you for the verbal cold shower. 104 00:04:20,206 --> 00:04:21,425 Sam, they're here. 105 00:04:21,556 --> 00:04:22,948 - They're here! - Okay. 106 00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:25,124 Welcome. Welcome. 107 00:04:25,255 --> 00:04:27,910 Welcome to the Woodstone B and B. 108 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,825 Oh, hi there. 109 00:04:29,955 --> 00:04:31,348 Gosh, this is beautiful. 110 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:32,915 It's like I've died and gone to heaven. 111 00:04:33,045 --> 00:04:34,656 Oh, if only it were that simple. 112 00:04:34,786 --> 00:04:37,659 I'm Debbie, and this is my husband Tom. 113 00:04:37,789 --> 00:04:39,965 Short for Thomas, like the English muffins. 114 00:04:40,096 --> 00:04:41,358 No relation. 115 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:42,707 These two are brutal. 116 00:04:42,838 --> 00:04:44,230 : English muffins. 117 00:04:44,361 --> 00:04:47,625 Well, I'm Sam, and this is my husband Jay. 118 00:04:47,756 --> 00:04:51,281 And these are your signature welcome cocktails. 119 00:04:51,412 --> 00:04:53,239 - Thank you very much. - Mm-hmm. 120 00:04:53,370 --> 00:04:54,806 Wow, that hits the spot. 121 00:04:54,937 --> 00:04:55,981 - Very nice. - Mmm. Yummy. 122 00:04:56,112 --> 00:04:56,895 - Bingo. - Mm-hmm. 123 00:04:57,026 --> 00:04:57,896 Well, I think you'll find 124 00:04:58,027 --> 00:04:59,202 that is just one of the many 125 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,725 special touches that sets Woodstone apart 126 00:05:00,856 --> 00:05:02,248 from the B and B herd. 127 00:05:02,379 --> 00:05:04,773 Oof. Yeah, that was hard to watch. 128 00:05:04,903 --> 00:05:06,383 I'll just, uh, show you - to your rooms. - Okay. Thank you. 129 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,429 Okay. - Yep. - Enjoy your stay. 130 00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,300 - Thanks a lot. - Right this way. 131 00:05:10,431 --> 00:05:11,954 Okay, right behind you. 132 00:05:12,084 --> 00:05:15,044 Well, they seem happy. Lame but happy. 133 00:05:15,174 --> 00:05:16,785 Yeah, I think that went really well. 134 00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:18,352 I'm not so sure, Sam. 135 00:05:18,482 --> 00:05:20,049 Let me tell you something about your polite 136 00:05:20,179 --> 00:05:21,050 Midwesterners there. 137 00:05:21,180 --> 00:05:23,182 They can be very tricky. 138 00:05:23,313 --> 00:05:25,402 And this is 18 years in the travel agency game talking. 139 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:26,142 What are you talking about? 140 00:05:26,272 --> 00:05:27,752 They loved the house. 141 00:05:27,883 --> 00:05:29,188 - They loved the cocktails. - But did they? 142 00:05:29,319 --> 00:05:33,149 They left them barely touched right there. 143 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:35,369 That's true. Not even a second sip. 144 00:05:35,499 --> 00:05:37,762 This type of customer, they're all smiles, 145 00:05:37,893 --> 00:05:39,503 but you never know what they're really thinking. 146 00:05:39,634 --> 00:05:41,287 So you're saying they kvell to your face 147 00:05:41,418 --> 00:05:42,767 but kvetch behind your back? 148 00:05:42,898 --> 00:05:46,075 Possibly. Based on context clues, I think so. 149 00:05:46,205 --> 00:05:48,599 And I know, 'cause I was the one they would complain to. 150 00:05:48,730 --> 00:05:51,341 I mean, you should have seen the angry faxes I would get. 151 00:05:51,472 --> 00:05:53,996 "Hecks" and "darns" flying all over the place. 152 00:05:54,126 --> 00:05:55,519 Babe, great news. 153 00:05:55,650 --> 00:05:56,868 They love the room. 154 00:05:56,999 --> 00:05:59,436 But do they, Sam? 155 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,829 Do they? 156 00:06:02,308 --> 00:06:04,659 What do you say we head up to the mansion? 157 00:06:04,789 --> 00:06:06,312 There's just not much to do here. 158 00:06:06,443 --> 00:06:08,402 Not much to do? Hello? 159 00:06:08,532 --> 00:06:11,796 Have you not experienced the drama of the ants? 160 00:06:11,927 --> 00:06:13,798 Now, those boys have pep. 161 00:06:13,929 --> 00:06:15,931 Yep, certainly can't deny the pep. 162 00:06:16,061 --> 00:06:19,238 And yet, at the mansion, we have the added benefit 163 00:06:19,369 --> 00:06:20,631 of watching television 164 00:06:20,762 --> 00:06:22,851 and not being watched by your former lover. 165 00:06:22,981 --> 00:06:25,244 Just pretend I'm not even here. 166 00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:28,813 Okay, it's just-- 167 00:06:28,944 --> 00:06:31,729 Nigel, do you have a problem with where I live? 168 00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:34,993 What? No. I love the mansion. 169 00:06:35,124 --> 00:06:38,040 If I were forced to pick nits, 170 00:06:38,170 --> 00:06:40,912 your friend Thorfinn can be a bit much. 171 00:06:41,043 --> 00:06:44,220 Oh. Oh, this is about Thorfinn. 172 00:06:44,350 --> 00:06:46,788 It's just, the yelling and the jocularity. 173 00:06:46,918 --> 00:06:50,095 And he murder stories and the endless cod anecdotes. 174 00:06:50,226 --> 00:06:53,142 Yes, no, I get it. I get it, trust me. 175 00:06:53,272 --> 00:06:54,883 You know what I'll do? I'll just ask him, um, 176 00:06:55,013 --> 00:06:57,146 to rein in his energy a bit. I'm sure he'll understand. 177 00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:01,803 Oh, God, I was so nervous to bring this up, 178 00:07:01,933 --> 00:07:03,239 but I'm so glad that I did. 179 00:07:03,369 --> 00:07:05,110 As am I. 180 00:07:05,241 --> 00:07:07,417 You know, I think we work very well together. 181 00:07:07,548 --> 00:07:09,898 Heard that before. 182 00:07:10,028 --> 00:07:12,117 Thank you. 183 00:07:12,248 --> 00:07:14,424 I found Tom and Debbie's Yelp profile. 184 00:07:14,555 --> 00:07:18,254 Geez, look at these reviews. These people are vicious. 185 00:07:18,384 --> 00:07:20,299 "The only thing worse than the day-old bread 186 00:07:20,430 --> 00:07:22,563 "at Linda's Shrimp Shack was the foul smell 187 00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:25,087 coming from the kitchen. Steer clear. One star." 188 00:07:25,217 --> 00:07:26,828 It's weird. They seem so nice. 189 00:07:26,958 --> 00:07:28,786 Pete says it's common. He dealt with this 190 00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:29,874 all the time back when travel agents 191 00:07:30,005 --> 00:07:31,789 - were still a thing. - Hurtful. 192 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,096 Okay, well, there's a couple good ones in here. 193 00:07:34,226 --> 00:07:35,793 So I guess we just got to do our best 194 00:07:35,924 --> 00:07:37,839 and then we try to get one of those. 195 00:07:37,969 --> 00:07:40,581 There is one other possibility. 196 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:41,669 We spy on them. 197 00:07:41,799 --> 00:07:42,713 Not for our entertainment 198 00:07:42,844 --> 00:07:44,323 but to help you guys. 199 00:07:44,454 --> 00:07:46,282 See what they're really saying behind closed doors. 200 00:07:46,412 --> 00:07:48,719 And doing behind closed doors. 201 00:07:48,850 --> 00:07:51,505 - They're like 60. - I'm very bored. 202 00:07:51,635 --> 00:07:53,768 I know we were against it before, 203 00:07:53,898 --> 00:07:55,683 - but it's not the worst idea. - What's happening? 204 00:07:55,813 --> 00:07:58,294 The ghosts are saying they could spy on the guests. 205 00:07:58,424 --> 00:07:59,861 No. 206 00:07:59,991 --> 00:08:01,253 But if Tom and Debbie have complaints, 207 00:08:01,384 --> 00:08:03,342 then we can find out and course-correct 208 00:08:03,473 --> 00:08:04,474 while they're still here. 209 00:08:04,605 --> 00:08:05,693 It's so creepy, 210 00:08:05,823 --> 00:08:07,999 not to mention totally unethical. 211 00:08:08,130 --> 00:08:09,610 Typically, I'd agree, but when you're dealing with 212 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,786 two-faced Duluthers, you do what you gotta. 213 00:08:11,916 --> 00:08:12,830 Jay, think about it. 214 00:08:12,961 --> 00:08:13,918 People could think that 215 00:08:14,049 --> 00:08:15,267 our one bad review was a fluke, 216 00:08:15,398 --> 00:08:17,966 but two bad reviews? Our only reviews? 217 00:08:18,096 --> 00:08:19,445 Would you stay at that B and B? 218 00:08:19,576 --> 00:08:21,317 We're not gonna have two bad reviews. 219 00:08:21,447 --> 00:08:23,232 We're gonna crush this, 220 00:08:23,362 --> 00:08:25,190 without creepy ghost spying. 221 00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:26,278 No offense. Okay? 222 00:08:26,409 --> 00:08:28,237 Okay, you're right. 223 00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:29,934 Thank you. 224 00:08:33,111 --> 00:08:34,199 So you want to go with our thing? 225 00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:35,244 Oh, hell yes. 226 00:08:35,374 --> 00:08:37,333 Yes! 227 00:08:43,426 --> 00:08:45,646 Thor? Thor, remember when Nigel was over 228 00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,996 and we were watching that television show earlier, 229 00:08:48,126 --> 00:08:49,388 How About Those '90s? 230 00:08:49,519 --> 00:08:51,477 Yes! Most interesting decade. 231 00:08:51,608 --> 00:08:56,352 Probably best '90s since 1190s, though 1490s were pretty wild. 232 00:08:56,482 --> 00:09:00,704 Yes. Anyway, um, you were kind of, like, doing this thing 233 00:09:00,835 --> 00:09:04,012 where you were talking over people and hitting people 234 00:09:04,142 --> 00:09:06,014 and just being very boisterous. 235 00:09:06,144 --> 00:09:08,016 And it was just a little bit much. 236 00:09:08,146 --> 00:09:10,584 And, um, I was just wondering if maybe you could 237 00:09:10,714 --> 00:09:12,020 tone it down a little? 238 00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:14,326 Where is all this coming from? 239 00:09:14,457 --> 00:09:16,851 Isaac and Thor always watch TV together. 240 00:09:16,981 --> 00:09:18,548 Never complain before. 241 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:21,682 W-Well, if you must know, it's coming from Nigel. 242 00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:23,858 And I would push back, it's just that it's 243 00:09:23,988 --> 00:09:25,947 so new, and I do enjoy his company. 244 00:09:26,077 --> 00:09:31,213 I see. So... Isaac embarrassed of Thor. 245 00:09:31,343 --> 00:09:33,694 No, I'm just simply saying that when Nigel's around, 246 00:09:33,824 --> 00:09:36,174 maybe you're around less. 247 00:09:36,305 --> 00:09:38,612 So mere presence of Thor is problem. 248 00:09:38,742 --> 00:09:40,701 Yes. Well put. 249 00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:43,268 Fine! Thor won't be around. 250 00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:46,271 Thor go where he won't be problem for you anymore. 251 00:09:46,402 --> 00:09:49,492 Where he won't be problem for anyone! 252 00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:52,582 Okay, well, thank you for hearing me. 253 00:09:52,713 --> 00:09:54,366 They call these sheets. 254 00:09:54,497 --> 00:09:57,065 They are as thin as that toilet paper. 255 00:09:57,195 --> 00:10:00,024 Man, Debbie is really chafed about that toilet paper. 256 00:10:00,155 --> 00:10:01,809 Literally. 257 00:10:01,939 --> 00:10:03,506 Knock, knock. Room service. 258 00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:04,507 Hey. 259 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,161 Jay's homemade cookies. 260 00:10:06,291 --> 00:10:07,771 So, how are you settling in? 261 00:10:07,902 --> 00:10:08,598 Everything okay with the room? 262 00:10:08,729 --> 00:10:10,078 Oh, everything's perfect. 263 00:10:10,208 --> 00:10:11,470 - Could not be better. - Yes. 264 00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:12,863 Lies. 265 00:10:12,994 --> 00:10:15,126 Thin sheets, hard towels, cheap TP. 266 00:10:15,257 --> 00:10:17,433 Debbie's really chafed about it. 267 00:10:17,563 --> 00:10:18,956 Sam hadn't heard it yet. 268 00:10:19,087 --> 00:10:20,610 You know, are those our summer sheets? 269 00:10:20,741 --> 00:10:22,220 Would you mind if I changed them 270 00:10:22,351 --> 00:10:23,787 for something a little more plush? 271 00:10:23,918 --> 00:10:24,745 - Oh, no, no, no. - Oh, no. 272 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:25,746 These are fine. 273 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:26,790 He said he'd rather sleep 274 00:10:26,921 --> 00:10:28,139 on his boat tarp, Sam. 275 00:10:28,270 --> 00:10:30,272 No, I insist. Let me change them. 276 00:10:30,402 --> 00:10:32,143 I slept on a boat tarp once 277 00:10:32,274 --> 00:10:34,537 with several members of Fleetwood Mac. 278 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:37,409 Little uncomfortable but super easy cleanup. 279 00:10:39,324 --> 00:10:40,848 Hey, guys. 280 00:10:40,978 --> 00:10:44,242 Oh, it's upstairs. How lovely. 281 00:10:44,373 --> 00:10:47,463 Listen, you guys got to do something about your boy Thor. 282 00:10:47,593 --> 00:10:51,075 He's totally depressed and he's bumming out the whole basement. 283 00:10:51,206 --> 00:10:53,251 And we like to keep it light down there. 284 00:10:53,382 --> 00:10:55,558 Wait, what's Thor doing in the basement? 285 00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,386 He moved down there, after Pantaloons here 286 00:10:57,516 --> 00:10:58,996 told him to get lost 287 00:10:59,127 --> 00:11:01,912 because his British boy toy doesn't want Thor around. 288 00:11:02,043 --> 00:11:04,959 Isaac, is that so? Is it telling the truth? 289 00:11:05,089 --> 00:11:07,657 No, I-I merely suggested he tone down his energy a bit. 290 00:11:07,788 --> 00:11:09,441 I suppose, upon exit, 291 00:11:09,572 --> 00:11:11,400 he did cryptically promise he'd not be around anymore, 292 00:11:11,530 --> 00:11:14,533 but I just thought that was his Viking temper. 293 00:11:14,664 --> 00:11:16,057 Isaac, go apologize to Thor. 294 00:11:18,407 --> 00:11:19,321 No. 295 00:11:19,451 --> 00:11:20,975 No. 296 00:11:21,105 --> 00:11:24,326 I don't even know what this thing is with Nigel yet, 297 00:11:24,456 --> 00:11:26,545 but whatever it is, I don't want to ruin it before it starts. 298 00:11:26,676 --> 00:11:28,634 So I'm sorry that Thor is unhappy, 299 00:11:28,765 --> 00:11:31,507 but when is it my chance to be happy? Hmm? 300 00:11:31,637 --> 00:11:33,944 When is it old Higgintoot's turn? 301 00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:37,382 Oh, God. 302 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,646 Thank you for coming. 303 00:11:40,777 --> 00:11:42,126 You're welcome. 304 00:11:42,257 --> 00:11:43,127 Leave. 305 00:11:43,258 --> 00:11:45,216 Okay. Oh. 306 00:11:45,347 --> 00:11:46,827 What'd they think of the cookies, huh? 307 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,176 They said they loved them. 308 00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:51,222 Yes. Mwah. See? I told you we'd crush it. 309 00:11:51,353 --> 00:11:52,746 Bad news, Sam. They hated the cookies. 310 00:11:52,876 --> 00:11:56,532 Oh, although I tried one myself 311 00:11:56,662 --> 00:11:57,663 and I had some thoughts. 312 00:11:57,794 --> 00:11:58,969 Tom didn't like the salt on top. 313 00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:00,971 I wasn't sure about the salt on top. 314 00:12:01,102 --> 00:12:04,845 But other than that, seriously, babe, the cookies were perfect. 315 00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:06,542 Debbie's saying there's too many chocolate chips. 316 00:12:06,672 --> 00:12:10,067 Although maybe there were too many chocolate chips, 317 00:12:10,198 --> 00:12:11,808 now that I reflect upon it further. 318 00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:13,201 What's going on? 319 00:12:13,331 --> 00:12:15,420 You always loved my chocolate chip cookies. 320 00:12:15,551 --> 00:12:17,596 Okay, I hadn't wanted to hurt your feelings, 321 00:12:17,727 --> 00:12:21,644 but Tom and Debbie actually did say something to me. 322 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,124 What? Really? 323 00:12:23,254 --> 00:12:24,603 It was very out of character, 324 00:12:24,734 --> 00:12:26,301 but it's growth for them, which is good. 325 00:12:26,431 --> 00:12:28,346 Okay, well, I'm just gonna talk to them. 326 00:12:28,477 --> 00:12:30,174 Wait, what? No-no. Why? 327 00:12:30,305 --> 00:12:32,133 What is going on? 328 00:12:32,263 --> 00:12:33,874 Hmm? First they love the cookies, 329 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:37,355 now they don't, and now you don't want me to talk to them? 330 00:12:37,486 --> 00:12:39,401 Oh, boy. He's putting it together. 331 00:12:39,531 --> 00:12:41,795 Oh, my God, you did have the ghosts spy. 332 00:12:41,925 --> 00:12:43,753 - Busted. - Just a little bit. 333 00:12:43,884 --> 00:12:45,015 Unbelievable. 334 00:12:45,146 --> 00:12:46,625 Not a great turn of events for Sam, 335 00:12:46,756 --> 00:12:49,541 but Jay's one hell of a gumshoe. 336 00:12:49,672 --> 00:12:50,804 Okay, yes, I should have told you. 337 00:12:50,934 --> 00:12:52,414 But honestly, it's working. 338 00:12:52,544 --> 00:12:55,460 I am able to respond in real time to their every need. 339 00:12:55,591 --> 00:12:57,288 - What did I miss? - Jay figured it out. 340 00:12:57,419 --> 00:13:00,204 Ooh, exciting. - Which one's Jay? - I get it. 341 00:13:00,335 --> 00:13:02,293 It's hard to hear criticism. 342 00:13:02,424 --> 00:13:04,426 But honestly, if Tom and Debbie thought that I was 343 00:13:04,556 --> 00:13:05,862 doing something wrong, I would love to know about it. 344 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,342 So we should tell her what Debbie said about her. 345 00:13:07,472 --> 00:13:09,126 Trevor, shh! Wait, what? 346 00:13:09,257 --> 00:13:10,693 We didn't want to say anything. 347 00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:13,043 We know you're not the best at taking criticism. 348 00:13:13,174 --> 00:13:14,697 I can handle it. Oh. 349 00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,655 Do the ghosts have some opportunities 350 00:13:16,786 --> 00:13:18,048 for you to improve? 351 00:13:18,179 --> 00:13:19,571 Debbie thinks you're too chatty. 352 00:13:19,702 --> 00:13:21,095 Too chatty? That is... 353 00:13:22,748 --> 00:13:24,359 ...very useful criticism. 354 00:13:24,489 --> 00:13:26,230 Thank you for letting me know. 355 00:13:26,361 --> 00:13:29,103 I will strive to improve that area of my personality 356 00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:31,453 during the remainder of their visit. 357 00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:34,456 Seems like she could've said that in a lot less words. 358 00:13:41,724 --> 00:13:43,726 Well, I am ready to strap on the old feedbag. 359 00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,859 Something smells delicious. 360 00:13:45,989 --> 00:13:47,643 Oh, I believe that is Jay's famous duck. 361 00:13:47,773 --> 00:13:49,036 But before the main event, 362 00:13:49,166 --> 00:13:50,864 your farm-to-table dinner starts with 363 00:13:50,994 --> 00:13:52,561 a wide assortment of taste delights 364 00:13:52,691 --> 00:13:54,780 - from across the Hudson. - Keep it brief, motormouth. 365 00:13:54,911 --> 00:13:56,260 I'll get your salads. Oh. 366 00:13:57,609 --> 00:13:59,916 - Odd woman. - Agreed. 367 00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:02,658 The year was 1996, 368 00:14:02,788 --> 00:14:05,052 and the Spice Girls were everywhere. 369 00:14:05,182 --> 00:14:07,271 This new fab five burst onto the scene 370 00:14:07,402 --> 00:14:09,665 with their message of female empowerment 371 00:14:09,795 --> 00:14:11,972 and, above all, loyalty to your friends. 372 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,451 Hmm.♪ If you wanna be my lover... ♪ 373 00:14:13,582 --> 00:14:15,192 Loyalty to friends. 374 00:14:15,323 --> 00:14:17,673 I guess the '90s were a different time. 375 00:14:17,803 --> 00:14:20,415 ♪ Friendship never ends... ♪ 376 00:14:20,545 --> 00:14:22,765 Damn these English bards. 377 00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,593 Catchy. 378 00:14:24,723 --> 00:14:27,248 ♪ Taking is too easy, but that's the... ♪ 379 00:14:27,378 --> 00:14:29,119 Okay, so apparently they're loving your bread rolls, 380 00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:31,339 but they think that I slouch and do other stuff wrong. 381 00:14:31,469 --> 00:14:33,558 Hi, couple more action items. 382 00:14:33,689 --> 00:14:35,038 Uh, they do not like the playlist, they think you hover, 383 00:14:35,169 --> 00:14:37,345 your voice is too high, and the pattern 384 00:14:37,475 --> 00:14:39,086 in your grandmother's butter dish is satanic. 385 00:14:39,216 --> 00:14:42,002 And now they hate my playlist, they think that I tend to hover, 386 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,178 that my voice is too high, and apparently that the pattern 387 00:14:44,308 --> 00:14:46,484 on my grandmother's butter dish is satanic. 388 00:14:46,615 --> 00:14:48,008 I hate these people. 389 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:50,662 Ugh... I better get back out there. 390 00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:53,448 Oh, I don't like the look of this fork. 391 00:14:53,578 --> 00:14:55,102 - It's dingy, like the house. - Yeah, look at this. 392 00:14:55,232 --> 00:14:56,059 Here are your salads. 393 00:14:56,190 --> 00:14:57,931 - Oh, thank you. - Thank you. 394 00:14:58,061 --> 00:14:59,367 - Yummy. - I'm gonna switch out the butter dish, 395 00:14:59,497 --> 00:15:01,630 'cause why not, right? Okay. 396 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:03,023 Is it too bright in here? 397 00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:05,895 - No, not at all-- Thank you. - Thank you. 398 00:15:06,026 --> 00:15:07,897 Hmm. That's better. 399 00:15:08,028 --> 00:15:09,159 You're hovering, and somehow 400 00:15:09,290 --> 00:15:10,508 your voice has gotten even higher. 401 00:15:10,639 --> 00:15:12,684 : I'll let you enjoy your salads. 402 00:15:12,815 --> 00:15:14,512 - Thank you. - Thank you. 403 00:15:20,692 --> 00:15:21,998 Is he... 404 00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:23,957 Asleep? Yeah. 405 00:15:24,087 --> 00:15:26,437 The floor's pretty uneven, so we tend to sleep standing up. 406 00:15:26,568 --> 00:15:30,093 Like livestock. You'll get used to it after a few decades. 407 00:15:30,224 --> 00:15:31,094 Why on earth have you 408 00:15:31,225 --> 00:15:33,749 dragged us down to this miserable pit? 409 00:15:33,879 --> 00:15:35,229 Because I have something to say to Thor, 410 00:15:35,359 --> 00:15:37,187 - and I need you to hear it. - Thor? 411 00:15:37,318 --> 00:15:38,623 Isaac. 412 00:15:38,754 --> 00:15:41,539 I'm sorry. 413 00:15:41,670 --> 00:15:44,325 You are a good friend, and I have treated you poorly, 414 00:15:44,455 --> 00:15:48,677 and I would like you to come back upstairs. 415 00:15:48,807 --> 00:15:51,767 You... truly mean this? 416 00:15:51,897 --> 00:15:54,726 Thor not annoying? 417 00:15:54,857 --> 00:15:57,599 Well, those are two different questions, but yes. 418 00:15:57,729 --> 00:15:59,166 No, I mean it. 419 00:15:59,296 --> 00:16:01,559 And, Nigel, I care about you. 420 00:16:01,690 --> 00:16:03,866 But something I learned today is that if you want to be 421 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:06,869 my special companion, you got to get with my Viking friend. 422 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,350 Oh. I see. 423 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,482 I didn't realize how much he meant to you. 424 00:16:11,613 --> 00:16:14,050 Yes. Neither did I. 425 00:16:17,271 --> 00:16:19,882 Thorfinn, forgive me. 426 00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:21,753 Perhaps I judged you too hastily. 427 00:16:21,884 --> 00:16:24,539 Is okay. Thorfinn acquired taste, 428 00:16:24,669 --> 00:16:26,454 like sour ram's testicle. 429 00:16:28,543 --> 00:16:31,328 God knows I'm not everyone's cup of tea. 430 00:16:31,459 --> 00:16:33,765 I like sitting in a dirty shed watching ants all day. 431 00:16:33,896 --> 00:16:34,810 Wait. 432 00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:36,159 You like watching ants? 433 00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:38,509 Thor loves watching ants, too! 434 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,250 Basement ants best ants. 435 00:16:40,381 --> 00:16:41,643 Come. Yes. 436 00:16:41,773 --> 00:16:44,907 Oh! Now, these boys have gumption. 437 00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,692 Thor and Nigel bonding. 438 00:16:47,823 --> 00:16:50,695 You and Isaac should come to the shed to watch our ants. 439 00:16:50,826 --> 00:16:53,089 Oh, good, back to the shed. 440 00:16:54,525 --> 00:16:56,745 Jay, how are we coming with that duck? 441 00:16:56,875 --> 00:16:58,225 Did you change your sweater? 442 00:16:58,355 --> 00:16:59,791 Oh, yeah, apparently Debbie thought I was looking 443 00:16:59,922 --> 00:17:02,490 a little washed out. Okay, here's a thought. 444 00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:04,883 Tom and Debbie suck. 445 00:17:05,014 --> 00:17:06,494 I agree with that. Jay. 446 00:17:06,624 --> 00:17:07,843 I am sick of sitting here 447 00:17:07,973 --> 00:17:09,236 and listening to them criticize 448 00:17:09,366 --> 00:17:11,455 the best person that I know. Aw. 449 00:17:11,586 --> 00:17:14,241 Sam, I think they're crazy with this one, 450 00:17:14,371 --> 00:17:17,200 but they hate your perfume. What's wrong? 451 00:17:17,331 --> 00:17:19,333 They don't like my perfume. 452 00:17:19,463 --> 00:17:20,943 The perfume your mom gave you? 453 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,597 Yeah, it's okay. It's a little old-fashioned. 454 00:17:22,727 --> 00:17:25,121 Nope. Uh-uh. 455 00:17:27,645 --> 00:17:28,646 Uh, Jay? 456 00:17:28,777 --> 00:17:29,821 Ooh, it's on. 457 00:17:29,952 --> 00:17:31,084 Oh, a visit from the chef. 458 00:17:31,214 --> 00:17:33,129 Ah, is it time for our duck? 459 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,392 Oh, if you think you're getting even a nibble of my duck, 460 00:17:35,523 --> 00:17:37,177 you are sorely mistaken. 461 00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:39,744 Look, it's one thing to complain about cookies and candles, 462 00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:41,833 but the fact that you could find anything bad to say 463 00:17:41,964 --> 00:17:44,358 about my wonderful wife 464 00:17:44,488 --> 00:17:46,273 is bonkers. 465 00:17:46,403 --> 00:17:47,926 Yeah, she's a little talkative, 466 00:17:48,057 --> 00:17:49,928 but I love every word. 467 00:17:50,059 --> 00:17:52,061 She's kind and she's smart. 468 00:17:52,192 --> 00:17:54,063 And her voice is mellifluous. 469 00:17:54,194 --> 00:17:56,544 And she's got a great ass. 470 00:17:56,674 --> 00:18:00,287 And I know no one's debating that, but I'm on a roll. 471 00:18:00,417 --> 00:18:01,853 And you know what else? 472 00:18:01,984 --> 00:18:03,551 Jay's cookies aren't too salty, they're amazing. 473 00:18:03,681 --> 00:18:05,292 And he's got a great ass. 474 00:18:05,422 --> 00:18:06,336 And you might not be able to see it in these pants, 475 00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:08,251 but if you put him in, like, a soft jean 476 00:18:08,382 --> 00:18:10,775 or maybe a chino, - your jaw would drop. - Thank you. 477 00:18:10,906 --> 00:18:12,473 Well, this is not gonna make for a good Yelp review, 478 00:18:12,603 --> 00:18:15,215 - but God bless these crazy kids. - Wait. 479 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:16,825 How do you know we said any of that? 480 00:18:16,955 --> 00:18:20,220 Um, thin walls. 481 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,743 Very thin. 482 00:18:21,873 --> 00:18:25,050 What-- You've been - eavesdropping on us. - Why? 483 00:18:25,181 --> 00:18:28,880 Because we're trying to start a business 484 00:18:29,011 --> 00:18:30,795 and we read all your vicious Yelp reviews, 485 00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:33,276 and we were just trying to do something to make you happy. 486 00:18:33,407 --> 00:18:35,670 What do you mean you read our Yelp reviews? 487 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,498 Those reviews are anonymous. That's right. 488 00:18:37,628 --> 00:18:40,501 No, we can see your names and pictures. 489 00:18:40,631 --> 00:18:42,633 Uh, no. No, no, no, no. 490 00:18:42,764 --> 00:18:46,246 No, that is what we see on our computer. Right. 491 00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:47,986 No, I can show you. 492 00:18:48,117 --> 00:18:50,467 Okay. Yeah. Well, we'll look. 493 00:18:50,598 --> 00:18:51,860 It's-- Oh. 494 00:18:51,990 --> 00:18:54,602 This is not good. 495 00:18:54,732 --> 00:18:57,518 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We went after everyone. 496 00:18:57,648 --> 00:18:59,955 - They're all there. - Oh, no, we tore apart your sister's Shrimp Shack. 497 00:19:00,085 --> 00:19:02,436 This is a nightmare. - We have to move. - Oh. Oh, no. 498 00:19:02,566 --> 00:19:04,786 Wh-Where are you going, Tom? 499 00:19:04,916 --> 00:19:06,440 To unplug my laptop, Debbie. 500 00:19:06,570 --> 00:19:07,832 We got to get those reviews off-line. 501 00:19:07,963 --> 00:19:12,315 Well, I don't think that's how it works, Tom. Tom! 502 00:19:12,446 --> 00:19:15,405 Yelp reviews may not be anonymous, but you know what is? 503 00:19:15,536 --> 00:19:17,755 Conversations with your trusted travel agent. 504 00:19:17,886 --> 00:19:20,628 Unless you tell me you murdered someone. Or stole a robe. 505 00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:27,635 Oh, babe. 506 00:19:27,765 --> 00:19:28,853 Tom and Debbie left us a Yelp review. 507 00:19:28,984 --> 00:19:30,725 Oh, I'm so nervous. 508 00:19:30,855 --> 00:19:33,467 "There may be nicer places to stay 509 00:19:33,597 --> 00:19:35,556 and softer sheets to lay upon..." 510 00:19:35,686 --> 00:19:36,557 Let it go, Debbie. 511 00:19:36,687 --> 00:19:37,819 "... but the proprietors 512 00:19:37,949 --> 00:19:39,124 "of the charming Woodstone B and B 513 00:19:39,255 --> 00:19:40,865 really care about their guests." 514 00:19:40,996 --> 00:19:43,999 Oh. "Sam and Jay not only anticipated our every need 515 00:19:44,129 --> 00:19:46,523 "but alerted us to the tragic hacking of our Yelp account, 516 00:19:46,654 --> 00:19:48,003 "which led to the besmirching of some of our 517 00:19:48,133 --> 00:19:50,527 "favorite institutions, including the delicious 518 00:19:50,658 --> 00:19:52,486 and normal-smelling Linda's Shrimp Shack." 519 00:19:52,616 --> 00:19:53,835 What is hacking? 520 00:19:53,965 --> 00:19:54,836 It means someone broke into their account, 521 00:19:54,966 --> 00:19:56,185 but Tom and Debbie are lying. 522 00:19:56,316 --> 00:19:57,926 They're just doing damage control. 523 00:19:58,056 --> 00:20:00,755 Babe, they left us five stars! 524 00:20:02,626 --> 00:20:04,628 "And this is our vow to you, people of Yelp, 525 00:20:04,759 --> 00:20:06,761 we will not rest until we find the real hackers." 526 00:20:06,891 --> 00:20:09,198 Oh, like O.J. with the real killers. 527 00:20:09,329 --> 00:20:10,460 I bet he found them. 528 00:20:10,591 --> 00:20:12,332 That fellow seemed very determined. 529 00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:14,986 Well, seems like it all worked out. 530 00:20:15,117 --> 00:20:16,553 Yeah, but I don't want this to be an endorsement 531 00:20:16,684 --> 00:20:17,685 for you to keep using 532 00:20:17,815 --> 00:20:19,513 these ghosts behind my back. 533 00:20:19,643 --> 00:20:21,689 It is the last time I do that, I promise. 534 00:20:21,819 --> 00:20:22,994 Good. 535 00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:24,169 Unless, like, 536 00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:25,432 it's something really important, right? 537 00:20:25,562 --> 00:20:27,608 - Mm-hmm. - What's that? 538 00:20:27,738 --> 00:20:29,349 Oh, I said, "Mmm." 539 00:20:35,746 --> 00:20:38,009 Captioning sponsored by CBS 540 00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:41,056 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org