1 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,429 Rise and shine! 2 00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,298 Honey, 6:45. Wow! 3 00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:07,567 Oh, God. It makes me look fat, doesn't it? 4 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,837 No, it makes you look great. 5 00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,839 Really? Thank you, honey. Really. 6 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,443 Rise and shine. Rise and shine. 7 00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:19,412 Brennan. Time to get up. 8 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,182 Brennan, look out! Huh! What happened? 9 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,484 Sorry. Thought it was an earthquake. 10 00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,187 First day of school, guy. 11 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,257 You know, Dad. I reviewed all my classes last night on-line. 12 00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:32,392 I could practically do the entire seventh grade from my desk... 13 00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:34,461 without actually ever having to go to school. 14 00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:37,197 - Wow. - So, can I? 15 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,366 - Sure. - Really? 16 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:42,270 When pigs fly! 17 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:51,311 - Morning, Daddy. - Morning, honey. Nervous? 18 00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:54,514 Nope. One sandwich, lettuce and avocado, mustard only. 19 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,916 Sliced apple, three cookies, a Jell-O, 20 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,386 string cheese, a spoon and a napkin. 21 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:02,189 - And a blue ice block. - What are you talking about? 22 00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:05,158 - My lunch, Dad. - Lunch. Right. 23 00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:08,361 Okay. Got it. Dad, relax. 24 00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,530 Don't freak out on your first Mr. Mom day. 25 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,899 Oh. Lunches are easy. 26 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,468 I'll help you. You'll get the hang of it. Go on. 27 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,405 Go on. Okay. 28 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,269 Oh, no. Beethoven! 29 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,763 Oh, no. 30 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:20,500 Not again. Honey, don't use the... 31 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:23,603 Who took the toilet seat? 32 00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:29,277 Oh! Oh! Beethoven! 33 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,980 Come on, kids. Let's go. 34 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:38,418 See you, Beethoven. Take care of Dad. Bye, Beethoven. 35 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,454 Brennan, you want to start the car? Yeah. Later, Dad. 36 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,391 Bye, Dad. Bye, guys. Good luck. 37 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:53,401 Honey, you look great. They're gonna love you. 38 00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,806 Honey, don't forget. 39 00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,775 It's only till George comes back from Europe. I know. 40 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:05,445 But it just seems so unfair that he's staying with us... 41 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,781 when there's so many skiers in the Alps he could be rescuing. 42 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:13,353 Okay, wish me luck. 43 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:16,689 Good luck, but you're not gonna need it. 44 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,262 Ohh! Aah! 45 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:27,800 - Ohh! - Huh? Ugh. 46 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:31,504 Oh! You are sleeping outside... 47 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:34,507 from now until eternity! 48 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,104 Splendid, splendid. But you missed a spot. 49 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,407 Sorry, Mr. Simmons. 50 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,477 Yes, I should think so too. 51 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,563 Ah, Michelangelo. 52 00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,466 Wakey, wakey. 53 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:34,768 It's breakfast time, my lad. 54 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,139 What have we got? 55 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,742 Eggs and "bakie"? Ooh, not quite. 56 00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:45,111 Vegetarian breakfast, as usual. 57 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:47,915 There we are. Lovely. 58 00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,628 All done? 59 00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:06,500 Eww. 60 00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:15,543 ♪ 61 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,941 - Morning, Dad. - Morning, honey. 62 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,983 - Push enter. - Enter? 63 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,655 Oh. Duh. 64 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,657 Thanks, honey. 65 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,563 It's a new portable modem. Neat, huh? 66 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:13,866 Yeah, Dad. All right. I'm hot. 67 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:17,604 I am very excited. I'm gonna tell the design guys about this! 68 00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:20,440 Dad, wait! 69 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:28,448 Dad! Dad, wait! 70 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,251 Dad! 71 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:33,853 Dad! 72 00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,823 Wait. 73 00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:40,694 Your socks don't match. 74 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:47,233 Oh. Well, when you own the company, nobody mentions it. 75 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:51,037 But, Dad! 76 00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:53,541 You said you'd push me on my roller blades today. Remember? 77 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,645 Ohh! No. 78 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,747 I said tomorrow. 79 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,085 Yeah, but you said that yesterday. 80 00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:14,260 Good morning sir. Microsedge stock is up 3 and 1/8th. 81 00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,963 All right. That's good. That's good. 82 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:20,067 Simmons, you hold down the fort while I'm off making more millions. 83 00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,637 As usual, sir. 84 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,950 Oh, no. Mr. Sedg... Oh, no! Mr. Sedgwick! 85 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,700 I'm ready. 86 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,984 Morning, Michelangelo. 87 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,655 Morning, Miss Sedgwick. Morning, Simmons. 88 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,843 Hey, good boy. Here you go. 89 00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:13,379 - I know you like it. - Oh, no, please! 90 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:16,849 Miss Madison, no meat products. You'll give him gas. 91 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,018 And that would be most unpleasant. 92 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,120 Don't tempt Michelangelo, Madison. 93 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,990 You know what his psychic nutritionist said about bacon. 94 00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:27,927 One piece. She'll never know. She knows already. 95 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:31,998 Oh, I love breakfast! I'll tell you, Simmons. 96 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:34,934 Buying Sedgefood.com was the best thing Reg ever did. 97 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:38,437 Oh, yes, madam. Convenience above all. 98 00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:41,440 Mom, aren't you gonna have some real breakfast? 99 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:44,811 I can't. I got a nude sit-in against fur at 10:00. 100 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:47,046 Any extra weight is gonna be pretty obvious in my birthday suit. 101 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:50,149 Simmons, call my attorney. 102 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,919 Have one of his people... a woman... bail me out around 11:00. 103 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:56,055 Yes, ma'am. 104 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,158 - Mom, do I get to start riding lessons today? - Oh, Madison. 105 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:02,762 I don't know. I have issues with the whole humans-on-horses situation. 106 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:05,264 Well, then may I have a friend over after school? 107 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:08,701 Not "may I," "can I"! You empower yourself, Maddy. 108 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:12,171 You don't need anyone's permission. Well, then can I? 109 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:16,175 No, because your personal trainer is coming as soon as your reflexologist leaves. 110 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,011 And when he's done, you've got an aromatherapy session. 111 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,480 We'll talk later. How do I look? It doesn't matter. 112 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:24,184 It's all for the cause. Bye! Bye! 113 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,295 Wanna pull me on my roller blades, Michelangelo? 114 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,464 Shh. No, please. Madison. 115 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:42,001 Not while Michelangelo is meditating. 116 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:51,944 This doesn't belong in a greeting card. 117 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:55,748 It belongs in a museum. 118 00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:58,150 Hmm? 119 00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,953 Roses are red, violets are blue. 120 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,055 I'm sad and lonely because of you. 121 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,292 All right, it's lame. I don't write this stuff. 122 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:09,128 But the illustration's good. 123 00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:15,067 Huh? That's why they pay me the low-to-medium size bucks. 124 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:21,140 This is the first in a whole new line. 125 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:24,143 If they like this one, I get 'em all. 126 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:27,213 Stay! 127 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:29,348 Do not touch anything. 128 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,919 Do not breathe on anything. 129 00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,079 Ah. Ah. 130 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,882 Come to Papa. 131 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,317 Come to Papa. No! 132 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:08,320 Aah! Uhh! Uhh! 133 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,957 Ow! Ow! 134 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,159 Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! Ow! Ow! 135 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,898 Ow! 136 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,030 This is a big opportunity for me, 137 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,365 and now the painting's a total loss. 138 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:56,068 After Brennan spent so many hours posing for it. 139 00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:59,038 Dad, he didn't mean to... 140 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:01,941 Sara, your father has the floor. 141 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:05,144 Richard, go ahead. My deadline was already tight, but now... 142 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,447 Oh, time's up, Dad. 143 00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:17,223 The pot roast would have been excellent. 144 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,959 Well, the mac and cheese was tasty. Yeah. 145 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,228 Really! 146 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,363 Do you think you can fix the painting? 147 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,366 In time, which I don't have. 148 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,469 Plus, it sort of hurts to hold a paintbrush. 149 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:35,041 Well, that brings us to new business. 150 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,077 I had a few extra minutes at work today, 151 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:41,380 and I decided to run some numbers. 152 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,983 As you can see, 153 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,052 "B.B." means "Before Beethoven." 154 00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,120 "A.B." means "After Beethoven." 155 00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,322 Now, I really think the chart speaks for itself. 156 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,391 This dog is really costing us, 157 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,427 and I didn't even figure in the latest fiasco. 158 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,298 - Point of clarification? - Yes. 159 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:03,669 - What's a fiasco? - It's a disaster, a debacle, a farce, a breakdown. 160 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,338 Oh. 161 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:14,013 Oh, honey. 162 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:17,184 I know you've gotten attached to Beethoven. I mean, we all have. 163 00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:22,288 But I just don't think there's enough room in this household... 164 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,190 for a dog like Beethoven. 165 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,396 In fact, I don't think there's a household... 166 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:33,732 with room enough in the entire universe for a dog like Beethoven. 167 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:37,003 Sorry, Mom. Time's up. 168 00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:38,504 I guess that concludes the family meeting! 169 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,473 Well... 170 00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:48,514 I love these intimate family gatherings. 171 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:52,518 What do you think Mom meant by the house not being big enough? 172 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,288 Well, I think it means she's thinking about getting rid of Beethoven. 173 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:01,193 Come on. Get over it. I mean, he's not even our real dog anyway. 174 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:05,331 I know. You don't have to remind me. 175 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:08,100 Well, maybe now's a good time to hit 'em up for a new pet. 176 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,369 Something a little smaller, like a cow? 177 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,471 Ha-ha. 178 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,573 Uh-oh. Phoebe's out. 179 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,250 - I wish we brought Beethoven. - Oh, no, the gate. 180 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:28,155 Beethoven! Beethoven, help! 181 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,498 Brennan! 182 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,401 What do we do? 183 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,572 Look. 184 00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:56,082 - Yes! - Come on, Sara. Let's go. 185 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,284 Thanks, Beethoven. Come on, boy. 186 00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:01,320 We can't let him go. We need a plan. 187 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:04,391 Okay, okay. Give me a couple of days, and I'll think of something. 188 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:18,204 That's okay. I was... finished. 189 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:22,574 Guess what, Sara. I'm about to put the cookies in the oven. 190 00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:26,512 Mmm, they're gonna be warm and chewy, and you can't have any! 191 00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,215 Sorry, Dad. Current events. 192 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,251 Oh, no! 193 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,454 Who let the dog in? 194 00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,558 You're not helping your case here, pal. 195 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,061 Eww! Oatmeal drool cookies. 196 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,673 So did you think of a plan? 197 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,409 It's only been three days. Give me a break. 198 00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:01,247 Besides, I'm really behind on my math homework. 199 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,449 I knew you wouldn't have a plan. 200 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,284 So here, I do have a plan. 201 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,254 Look at this! 202 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,328 - Hi, honey. - Oh. Oh. 203 00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:22,334 Don't you dare! 204 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,705 Beethoven! Oh, no! 205 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,514 Beethoven barfed all over me! 206 00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:38,217 How gross is that? 207 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:41,720 Eww! 208 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,656 Okay, my math homework, one semester. 209 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,527 A whole semester? Forget it, then. 210 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:54,534 Fine. See you, Beethoven. 211 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,637 Fine! One semester. 212 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,906 Jerk. 213 00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:03,375 Oh, great. Uh-huh. 214 00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:06,245 Oh, that's fabulous. All right. 215 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:08,680 I'll let you know. Okay. 216 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:12,218 They gonna take him? Well, if we want to. 217 00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:14,586 They're really gonna miss him. 218 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,423 Beethoven was never gonna be able to stay with us forever. 219 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:19,525 Sooner or later, they're gonna have to miss him. I guess. 220 00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:22,228 Oh, Richard. 221 00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:25,664 They're a really nice family. They live on a huge farm. 222 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,467 I mean, Beethoven will have chickens to chase, 223 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:31,937 barns to burn and cows to stampede. 224 00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:34,341 He'll be in heaven. 225 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,677 Oh, you're right, as usual. 226 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,548 So that settles it. 227 00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:44,683 You tell the kids we're getting rid of Beethoven. 228 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,519 Thanks, honey. Gotta work. 229 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,257 Speaking of chickens... 230 00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,331 Aah! Get rid of him! 231 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:07,239 Oh, hello, Bill. Beth! 232 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,508 Good to see you. Mwah! Mwah! 233 00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,777 Mwah. 234 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:15,547 So I suppose you're looking for Richard. 235 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,350 Well, I think I might be able to find him for you... 236 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,486 around here somewhere. 237 00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:22,721 So I'll do that. Mmm. 238 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,823 Why don't you, uh... why don't you sit down? 239 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,726 Oh. Mmm. 240 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,329 Richard! Bill's here! 241 00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:34,733 Richard? Richard! 242 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,304 Psst! Over here. 243 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,573 What are you doing? 244 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,410 He's here for the painting, the one Beethoven ruined. 245 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,812 Ow! So? 246 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:50,616 So... I haven't fixed it yet. What? 247 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:53,452 Why? Richard! 248 00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,754 Because I thought he was coming next week. 249 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,657 Ohh! Oh, who's this? 250 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:01,760 "I don't need to write things down in a notebook because I have a photographic memory." 251 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,029 Okay, okay. You were right. 252 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,632 I was wrong. Can we discuss this later, please? 253 00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:09,635 Honey, go stall him. Stall him. This is not my responsibility. 254 00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:12,438 What? 255 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:15,073 You said, "I want to go back to work, spread my wings, challenge myself." 256 00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:17,376 Did I say no? 257 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,778 No, I said, "Okay, honey. 258 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,581 "I'll stay home, convert the garage into a studio, be a freelancer. 259 00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:24,850 I'll cook, I'll clean, I'll handle the kids." 260 00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:28,053 And all I ask in return... 261 00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:31,890 is if I'm ever late for a deadline, and the client shows up unexpectedly, 262 00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:34,626 that you stall him while I try to figure out what to do. 263 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:37,563 Remember? 264 00:21:37,564 --> 00:21:40,600 I remember the first part. I don't remember the "stall your boss" part. 265 00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:44,403 Okay, fine. I'll beg. 266 00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:46,738 Is that what you want me to do? I'll beg. 267 00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:48,874 Richard, please. Please! 268 00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:53,712 You stunning, sexy, gorgeous, perfect woman! 269 00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:55,582 Stall him for me! 270 00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:02,755 Please. 271 00:22:08,395 --> 00:22:10,696 Bill, do you want some coffee? 272 00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:12,732 Yeah, cream and sugar. Thanks! What are you gonna do? 273 00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:17,404 I don't know. 274 00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:20,839 Stall him. 275 00:22:29,916 --> 00:22:33,685 Melinda. Your dog's gonna do fine. 276 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,787 Thanks. Come on, boy. 277 00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:38,590 Why me? 278 00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,427 Come on, girl. 279 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,682 Beethoven! Hold on to him, Sara. 280 00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:06,618 Hi! 281 00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:09,421 Oh. What's his name? 282 00:23:11,691 --> 00:23:13,692 - Beethoven. - Stay, stay! 283 00:23:13,693 --> 00:23:15,994 - Get down! - No, no, no! 284 00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:18,697 - Down. - Good dog. 285 00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:22,468 Sit, sit, sit. Good dog. Beethoven! 286 00:23:22,469 --> 00:23:26,505 We have our work cut out for us, don't we? 287 00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:29,007 - Do you think you could teach him to obey? - Me? 288 00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:32,844 Oh, no, my dear. That's my husband's department. 289 00:23:32,845 --> 00:23:34,913 Sergeant Rutledge. 290 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:38,517 Oh, he's a genius with dogs. 291 00:23:38,518 --> 00:23:41,653 He was with the canine corps for years. 292 00:23:41,654 --> 00:23:44,923 Why, during the war, he was... 293 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,525 That'll do, Mrs. Rutledge. trainer... 294 00:23:46,526 --> 00:23:49,027 Oh, dear. 295 00:23:49,028 --> 00:23:51,697 This is Beethoven. Oh? 296 00:23:51,698 --> 00:23:54,566 Children would like you to teach him... 297 00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:56,568 to obey. 298 00:23:56,569 --> 00:23:59,472 Mm-hmm! 299 00:24:08,815 --> 00:24:12,451 Mmm. It will be a pleasure. 300 00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:25,831 More coffee, Bill? 301 00:24:25,832 --> 00:24:27,634 Mmm, no, thanks. 302 00:24:32,238 --> 00:24:35,542 Oh, I was so sorry to hear about you and Susan. 303 00:24:36,843 --> 00:24:38,777 We had our problems. 304 00:24:45,885 --> 00:24:48,954 When's the big day for you and Sharon? 305 00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:51,758 N-Next month. Small ceremony. 306 00:24:57,730 --> 00:24:59,999 I guess you'll be hiring a new secretary, then. 307 00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:06,872 You know, this is ridiculous. 308 00:25:06,873 --> 00:25:10,008 I've got a meeting wi-with the art director at 1:00. 309 00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:12,010 Oh. And I need to have that painting. 310 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:14,880 Is Richard out there? 311 00:25:14,881 --> 00:25:17,583 Richard? R-Richard. Buddy? 312 00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:19,018 Oh, uh, Bill, wait! 313 00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:33,699 What in the hell is that? 314 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:36,868 Well, Bill, I was thinking. 315 00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:39,037 All our cards are for people, right? 316 00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,640 From people and to people. 317 00:25:41,641 --> 00:25:43,875 Well, they're the ones who buy them. 318 00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:46,845 But what about the people who... don't have anyone... 319 00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:49,915 to send a card to? 320 00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:52,651 I'm listening. 321 00:25:52,652 --> 00:25:54,886 Well, you're missing a whole segment of the public. 322 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:57,623 People who don't have anyone to send a card to... 323 00:25:57,624 --> 00:25:59,958 and people who don't have anyone to get a card from. 324 00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:02,360 Right! Uh-huh. 325 00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:04,796 Uh-huh! Uh-huh. 326 00:26:04,797 --> 00:26:08,066 So Richard was thinking... 327 00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:10,802 I was thinking... 328 00:26:10,803 --> 00:26:13,172 those people don't have people. 329 00:26:15,742 --> 00:26:18,745 But they do have animals. 330 00:26:20,613 --> 00:26:21,981 Pets! 331 00:26:24,016 --> 00:26:26,852 This is the first in a line of cards... 332 00:26:26,853 --> 00:26:29,621 that people can send themselves... 333 00:26:29,622 --> 00:26:32,758 from their pets! 334 00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:35,160 "Dear Master, 335 00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:37,729 "I painted you a birthday card, 336 00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:41,066 "and it's a real dead ringer, 337 00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:44,135 but it's awful hard to paint 'cause I don't have thumbs or fingers." 338 00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:47,039 Hmm? Hmm. 339 00:26:57,684 --> 00:26:59,651 Okay, I love it! 340 00:26:59,652 --> 00:27:01,987 He loves it! 341 00:27:01,988 --> 00:27:04,023 He loves it! He loves it? 342 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:18,737 Welcome to the Good Boy Dog Obedience School, 343 00:27:18,738 --> 00:27:22,407 where there is no such thing... no... as a bad dog. 344 00:27:22,408 --> 00:27:25,777 Only stubborn ones. 345 00:27:25,778 --> 00:27:29,014 When you and your precious pooches leave this class, 346 00:27:29,015 --> 00:27:33,118 you will leave side by side... 347 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:36,688 you, the master; your dog, your faithful servant... 348 00:27:36,689 --> 00:27:39,057 without leashes. 349 00:27:39,058 --> 00:27:41,828 I expect every dog to pay attention. 350 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:49,936 Are you a hard case, boy? 351 00:27:51,838 --> 00:27:53,872 Is he a hard case? 352 00:27:53,873 --> 00:27:57,175 I... I don't know. 353 00:27:57,176 --> 00:28:01,046 I've been training the canine species for 27 years, son. 354 00:28:01,047 --> 00:28:04,149 I think I know an attitude problem when I see one. 355 00:28:04,150 --> 00:28:06,184 This is how we handle the hard case, people. 356 00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:09,755 Pay attention. 357 00:28:09,756 --> 00:28:12,891 Or, you know, you can have cards pets could send to each other. 358 00:28:12,892 --> 00:28:15,927 You know, like a dog could send a cat a get-well-soon card. 359 00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:17,963 Or love letters for rabbits. Yeah! 360 00:28:17,964 --> 00:28:20,198 Happy Groundhog's Day cards, Bill. 361 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,168 Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. 362 00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:29,174 Okay, that's brilliant. We need to have our lawyers talk on Monday. 363 00:28:29,175 --> 00:28:31,744 We got a percentage deal to work out. 364 00:28:33,746 --> 00:28:35,814 Ciao, baby! 365 00:28:35,815 --> 00:28:37,049 Ciao. 366 00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:46,491 Yes! Ha! 367 00:28:46,492 --> 00:28:49,828 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah! 368 00:28:49,829 --> 00:28:52,263 Oh, yeah. Hoo! A-hoo! 369 00:28:52,264 --> 00:28:55,300 Say my name, say my name, say my name! Richard! 370 00:28:55,301 --> 00:28:58,236 Mwah! That's a step in the right direction. 371 00:28:58,237 --> 00:29:01,073 And the amazing thing is, I owe it all to Beethoven. 372 00:29:05,878 --> 00:29:09,080 This is an obstacle course. 373 00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:11,917 When I'm finished with your dogs, 374 00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:13,919 they will be able to negotiate this course automatically! 375 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,088 It may seem difficult at first, but don't give up. 376 00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:20,058 Y are the master. 377 00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:21,860 Your dog must obey. 378 00:29:21,861 --> 00:29:24,996 Over! 379 00:29:24,997 --> 00:29:27,265 This is one of the commands that you will be learning. 380 00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:30,201 Our friend here just doesn't know it yet. 381 00:29:30,202 --> 00:29:33,371 Not too smart, are you, pal? 382 00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:36,274 Okay, pal, I guess we're going to do this the hard way. Go! Go on, Beethoven! 383 00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:38,309 Students, one last thing: 384 00:29:38,310 --> 00:29:42,848 Never let go of the leash. 385 00:29:42,849 --> 00:29:45,083 Over! 386 00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:49,821 Now, what we have... Whoa! Yo! 387 00:29:49,822 --> 00:29:52,157 Oh! Oh! Wait, wait, wait! 388 00:29:52,158 --> 00:29:54,926 - ♪ Well, everybody thinks I'm just a little out of place ♪ - Stop, stop! 389 00:29:54,927 --> 00:29:57,896 Wait! 390 00:29:57,897 --> 00:30:00,298 Stop! Stay, stay! ♪ I'm trying hard to fit in but it'll be okay ♪ 391 00:30:00,299 --> 00:30:03,835 ♪ Once you train me Heel! Roll over! Fetch! 392 00:30:03,836 --> 00:30:07,005 No! Come back! ♪ Show me all your moves 393 00:30:07,006 --> 00:30:09,908 Oh... no! ♪ I'll show you who's walkin' who ♪ 394 00:30:09,909 --> 00:30:13,078 ♪ Come, stay, speak, sit 395 00:30:13,079 --> 00:30:16,247 ♪ New dog, old tricks - Wait, wait, wait, wait! 396 00:30:16,248 --> 00:30:19,250 ♪ No more fleas No more ticks ♪ 397 00:30:19,251 --> 00:30:21,119 ♪ Chasing balls and fetching sticks ♪ 398 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,955 ♪ I'm your new best friend 399 00:30:23,956 --> 00:30:26,992 ♪ New dog, old tricks 400 00:30:26,993 --> 00:30:31,062 - ♪ Caviar-flavored biscuits - No. Wait. No. 401 00:30:31,063 --> 00:30:33,932 ♪ I never had it good as this ♪ - 402 00:30:33,933 --> 00:30:36,102 ♪ I'm a new dog Old tricks 403 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,342 ♪ Hey, if you think you're gonna get me ♪ 404 00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:48,346 - ♪ To heel for you don't bother ♪ - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 405 00:30:48,347 --> 00:30:51,082 ♪ You'll be slippin' and slidin' and swimmin' knee deep ♪ Ow! 406 00:30:51,083 --> 00:30:54,319 ♪ In slobber Whoa! 407 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,155 ♪ There's a new pooch on the block ♪ 408 00:30:57,156 --> 00:30:59,390 - ♪ I'll show you who'll be top dog ♪ - Whoa-oa-oa-oa! 409 00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:03,228 ♪ Eat, sleep, bark, sit 410 00:31:03,229 --> 00:31:05,964 ♪ New dog, old tricks 411 00:31:05,965 --> 00:31:09,334 ♪ No more fleas No more ticks ♪ 412 00:31:09,335 --> 00:31:11,469 ♪ Chasing balls and fetching sticks ♪ 413 00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:15,240 ♪ I'm your new best friend 414 00:31:15,241 --> 00:31:18,009 ♪ New dog, old tricks 415 00:31:18,010 --> 00:31:21,279 ♪ Caviar-flavored biscuits 416 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,349 ♪ Never had it good as this 417 00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:27,018 ♪ I'm a new dog Old tricks ♪ 418 00:31:35,094 --> 00:31:36,428 This means war. 419 00:31:43,302 --> 00:31:46,171 Reg, can you just put that thing away for once? 420 00:31:46,172 --> 00:31:49,274 Just e-mailing ahead to make sure the pro's ready. Dad! 421 00:31:49,275 --> 00:31:52,410 Oh, Maddy, Simmons has taken Michelangelo to the groomers. 422 00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:55,046 But your feng shui instructor will be here soon. 423 00:31:55,047 --> 00:31:58,016 But, Mom, Dad said he would roller-blade with me today. 424 00:31:58,017 --> 00:32:00,018 Oh, honey, she's right. 425 00:32:00,019 --> 00:32:03,154 What the heck is that? 426 00:32:03,155 --> 00:32:07,325 Oh. Thanks, honey. Duh. 427 00:32:07,326 --> 00:32:10,028 Reg, what are you doing? I was gonna go roller-blading with Maddy. 428 00:32:10,029 --> 00:32:12,397 No, we're playing tennis. 429 00:32:12,398 --> 00:32:15,066 Madison has a very full schedule, just like we do. 430 00:32:15,067 --> 00:32:17,368 Sweetheart, don't forget. 431 00:32:17,369 --> 00:32:20,538 Your Taiwanese Slap Fighting instructor will be here at 4:00. Be good. Bye! 432 00:32:44,997 --> 00:32:47,332 He was pretty nice about it, actually. 433 00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:51,736 Yeah. He just didn't want to give me my money. 434 00:32:51,737 --> 00:32:54,505 You know what? No math grade is worth this humiliation. 435 00:32:54,506 --> 00:32:56,308 I quit. You're on your own. 436 00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:11,589 - Hi. Am I too late for class? - Uh, you just, um... 437 00:33:11,590 --> 00:33:14,492 uh... um... uh... 438 00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:17,095 Uh, you... uh... 439 00:33:17,096 --> 00:33:19,164 You just missed it. Darn. 440 00:33:19,165 --> 00:33:21,167 Well, is it every week? 441 00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:25,036 Yeah. You can sign up over there. 442 00:33:25,037 --> 00:33:27,272 Okay, great. Thanks. 443 00:33:27,273 --> 00:33:29,175 I guess I'll see you next weekend. 444 00:33:30,609 --> 00:33:33,145 Great dog. 445 00:33:37,149 --> 00:33:39,085 Bye. Bye. 446 00:33:41,553 --> 00:33:44,822 Too bad you won't be there. 447 00:33:44,823 --> 00:33:47,426 What are you talking about? I love dog training school. 448 00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:53,331 We gotta practice a lot next week. 449 00:33:53,332 --> 00:33:56,234 That way Beethoven doesn't do anything stupid. 450 00:33:56,235 --> 00:33:58,203 Speaking of stupid, you should practice talking. 451 00:33:58,204 --> 00:34:00,238 Shut up. 452 00:34:00,239 --> 00:34:01,573 No, you shut up. No, you shut up. 453 00:34:23,162 --> 00:34:25,830 Ah, here we are, Michelangelo. 454 00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:29,234 Time for your lovely bath. Good boy. Out you come. 455 00:34:29,235 --> 00:34:32,337 Time for your beauty treatment. 456 00:34:32,338 --> 00:34:36,174 Ah, Guillermo. Thank you so much for meeting me halfway. 457 00:34:36,175 --> 00:34:38,543 I had a million things to do and no time to do them in. 458 00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:41,246 Is no problem, Simmons. 459 00:34:41,247 --> 00:34:44,549 I do anything for you, my burly little muscle dog. 460 00:34:44,550 --> 00:34:47,318 Yes. Oh, you're so brave and big and strong. 461 00:34:47,319 --> 00:34:49,587 Ca va. 462 00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:52,323 You know what you should do? You... 463 00:34:52,324 --> 00:34:56,194 Just the premium wash and wax. No air freshener. 464 00:34:56,195 --> 00:34:58,497 Is parfum, not air freshener. 465 00:35:00,699 --> 00:35:03,434 I'm sorry. I get a little defensive. 466 00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:06,504 It's my own formula. I call it "CK9." 467 00:35:06,505 --> 00:35:08,906 Get it? "Canine"? 468 00:35:08,907 --> 00:35:11,310 I get it for you. You smell yourself. Here, hold a minute. 469 00:35:21,353 --> 00:35:24,522 Ooh! Don't... Don't make a sound. 470 00:35:24,523 --> 00:35:28,626 Give me the leash. Oh, my word. Is this a robbery? 471 00:35:28,627 --> 00:35:30,661 Yeah, that's right. That's right. 472 00:35:30,662 --> 00:35:33,432 Come on. Come on, pooch. 473 00:35:35,901 --> 00:35:38,903 Okay, I have two... Oh, mon Dieu! 474 00:35:38,904 --> 00:35:42,373 Simmons, what has happened to you? 475 00:35:42,374 --> 00:35:45,544 That rotten scoundrel, he's stolen Michelangelo. 476 00:35:48,380 --> 00:35:51,382 Michelangelo! 477 00:35:51,383 --> 00:35:54,385 - Run! - No, come back! No! Come back! 478 00:35:54,386 --> 00:35:55,687 Come back, you stupid... Come here! Come here! 479 00:35:59,591 --> 00:36:03,361 I'll bet you this is part of the problem. His collar's too tight. 480 00:36:03,362 --> 00:36:04,763 No, really? 481 00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:09,668 Mustard and onions with relish, mustard and onions... 482 00:36:15,707 --> 00:36:18,309 Beethoven! 483 00:36:18,310 --> 00:36:20,678 Come back, Beethoven! Whoa! Whoa, whoa! 484 00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:23,381 Stop, dog, stop! 485 00:36:23,382 --> 00:36:25,451 Beethoven! 486 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:37,362 Get back here. Oh, boy! 487 00:36:37,363 --> 00:36:39,564 Oh, my goodness. 488 00:36:39,565 --> 00:36:41,267 Come back! Come back! 489 00:36:45,237 --> 00:36:46,772 Beethoven! 490 00:36:49,275 --> 00:36:50,808 Ooh, where'd he go? 491 00:37:00,986 --> 00:37:02,554 Wait! 492 00:37:09,361 --> 00:37:11,497 Hmm, what's this? 493 00:37:13,399 --> 00:37:15,301 You idiot. 494 00:37:18,404 --> 00:37:20,471 Come back! Come back! 495 00:37:20,472 --> 00:37:21,740 Beethoven! 496 00:37:49,801 --> 00:37:52,838 Whoa! 497 00:38:05,884 --> 00:38:08,354 Michelangelo! 498 00:38:14,393 --> 00:38:16,761 Michelangelo, stop! 499 00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:36,747 Michelangelo! Stop that! 500 00:38:36,748 --> 00:38:40,084 Give up those links, boy. 501 00:38:40,085 --> 00:38:43,454 Your cholesterol will go through the roof. 502 00:38:43,455 --> 00:38:46,391 What has got into you? You're being a very naughty boy. 503 00:38:46,392 --> 00:38:47,726 Come along. Come along. 504 00:38:50,095 --> 00:38:52,697 Michelangelo, when I get you home, 505 00:38:52,698 --> 00:38:54,400 you are grounded. 506 00:38:59,571 --> 00:39:01,739 Beethoven! He's gotta be around here somewhere. 507 00:39:01,740 --> 00:39:03,875 Beethoven, where are you? 508 00:39:07,713 --> 00:39:09,681 Beethoven! 509 00:39:18,890 --> 00:39:20,759 Come on, boy. 510 00:39:24,896 --> 00:39:27,733 Beethoven, don't you ever do that again. 511 00:39:33,705 --> 00:39:37,708 Michelangelo, that was a stinker. 512 00:39:37,709 --> 00:39:40,412 Oh! 513 00:39:45,484 --> 00:39:47,585 Egads. 514 00:39:52,424 --> 00:39:55,526 Whoo! Michelangelo, pee-yew! 515 00:39:55,527 --> 00:39:57,429 Smelly! 516 00:39:59,898 --> 00:40:02,433 I told you not to eat those hot dogs. 517 00:40:02,434 --> 00:40:04,870 Now you smell like beef by-products. 518 00:40:08,774 --> 00:40:11,477 Appetizer, sir? 519 00:40:13,211 --> 00:40:15,013 Vittles? 520 00:40:17,749 --> 00:40:21,786 Come along. Come along. Come along. 521 00:40:21,787 --> 00:40:23,689 Yum. 522 00:40:25,857 --> 00:40:28,659 Hello? Michelangelo. Michelangelo! 523 00:40:31,897 --> 00:40:34,800 You daydreaming? Come along. 524 00:40:36,201 --> 00:40:39,036 Whew! Goodness me. 525 00:40:39,037 --> 00:40:42,708 What's gotten into you? You're not yourself at all. 526 00:40:44,510 --> 00:40:46,011 Come along. 527 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:56,787 You can just sit there and use this 15 minutes' time-out... 528 00:40:56,788 --> 00:40:59,957 to think about how utterly reprehensible... 529 00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:02,893 your behavior was today. 530 00:41:02,894 --> 00:41:06,030 I'm going to go upstairs, change my trousers, get all this doggy grease off me. 531 00:41:06,031 --> 00:41:07,866 Beefy breath! 532 00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:14,005 And I'm cancelling your massage. 533 00:41:24,883 --> 00:41:28,753 No! Not on the floor! 534 00:41:50,609 --> 00:41:51,910 Come on, Beethoven. 535 00:42:01,953 --> 00:42:05,691 Did you see what he just did? No. 536 00:42:10,662 --> 00:42:13,097 Mmm! Looks great, Dad. 537 00:42:13,098 --> 00:42:15,000 Thank you, sweetheart. 538 00:42:17,035 --> 00:42:20,070 Oh, no, you don't. 539 00:42:23,141 --> 00:42:25,910 - He just picked up my napkin. - I told you he was smart. 540 00:42:25,911 --> 00:42:28,646 He folded your napkin. 541 00:42:28,647 --> 00:42:30,781 That's beyond smart. 542 00:42:30,782 --> 00:42:32,750 It's weird. 543 00:42:32,751 --> 00:42:35,853 You know what's really weird? 544 00:42:35,854 --> 00:42:38,956 I don't think he's drooling anymore. 545 00:42:38,957 --> 00:42:40,826 That's weird. 546 00:42:52,804 --> 00:42:56,073 Is it Thanksgiving? Of course not, Maddy. Why? 547 00:42:56,074 --> 00:42:58,042 Because we're all eating together. 548 00:43:00,178 --> 00:43:02,047 Maddy, that's a good one. 549 00:43:03,949 --> 00:43:06,652 But, you know, I think inappropriate. 550 00:43:08,153 --> 00:43:10,120 Say you're sorry, honey. 551 00:43:10,121 --> 00:43:13,624 Sorry, Mom. 552 00:43:13,625 --> 00:43:17,162 I just thought it would be nice for us all to have a typical Sedgefood family meal. 553 00:43:20,165 --> 00:43:23,400 Oh, Reg, did I tell you that fur company we picketed closed? 554 00:43:23,401 --> 00:43:27,104 Mm-hmm. I know. We owned it. 555 00:43:27,105 --> 00:43:29,807 How could we? It's against everything we believe in. 556 00:43:29,808 --> 00:43:31,909 We just acquired it a few years ago. 557 00:43:34,980 --> 00:43:36,614 I could have had free furs all this time, and you never told me? 558 00:43:40,151 --> 00:43:42,788 - Martha, you're against fur. - Yeah, now, but I didn't used to be! 559 00:43:46,792 --> 00:43:49,727 De-fatted, unsalted, cholesterol-free, 560 00:43:49,728 --> 00:43:52,230 organic porcine pot roast. 561 00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:55,967 Was it free-range? 562 00:43:57,736 --> 00:44:00,838 It was a pig, ma'am. 563 00:44:00,839 --> 00:44:03,207 I'm not sure how far they'd actually go... 564 00:44:03,208 --> 00:44:05,710 if they were given free range. 565 00:44:05,711 --> 00:44:09,747 Maybe just the semolina, faux meat patty, then, Simmons. 566 00:44:09,748 --> 00:44:11,081 - As you wish, ma'am. - Oops. 567 00:44:11,082 --> 00:44:12,350 Sorry. 568 00:44:15,420 --> 00:44:18,056 Michelangelo, would you be so kind as to get that napkin? 569 00:44:20,726 --> 00:44:22,927 Michelangelo. Michelangelo, no. 570 00:44:22,928 --> 00:44:25,029 Get back! Get back! Ohh! 571 00:44:27,265 --> 00:44:30,134 Oh! Simmons! 572 00:44:30,135 --> 00:44:33,437 That wasn't the Bella, was it? 573 00:44:33,438 --> 00:44:35,272 My God. That's gonna leave a mark. 574 00:44:35,273 --> 00:44:38,208 Okay. 575 00:44:38,209 --> 00:44:40,778 One foot in front of the other. 576 00:44:40,779 --> 00:44:44,448 There we go. Steady up. 577 00:44:44,449 --> 00:44:47,084 Just don't stand there, Simmons, for heaven's sake! 578 00:44:47,085 --> 00:44:49,186 Get the pot roast away from him! He'll break out in hives! 579 00:44:51,857 --> 00:44:54,092 Hmm. 580 00:46:10,268 --> 00:46:13,303 Michelangelo? 581 00:46:13,304 --> 00:46:15,205 I was having a bad dream. 582 00:46:15,206 --> 00:46:17,843 Did I wake you? 583 00:46:19,344 --> 00:46:22,046 Hey, want to come sleep with me? 584 00:46:22,047 --> 00:46:24,581 Come on. 585 00:46:24,582 --> 00:46:26,317 Come on. Yeah. 586 00:46:30,021 --> 00:46:33,123 Okay. 587 00:46:33,124 --> 00:46:36,360 Let's see who's done their homework. 588 00:46:36,361 --> 00:46:40,164 How about my little obstacle course buddy? Drop the leash, son. 589 00:46:40,165 --> 00:46:42,566 Um, I-I don't think that's such a good idea, sir. 590 00:46:52,043 --> 00:46:55,080 Last week, due to circumstances beyond my control, 591 00:46:58,049 --> 00:47:01,418 I was unable to tell you all the commands you will be learning... 592 00:47:01,419 --> 00:47:03,253 in this class. Brennan! 593 00:47:03,254 --> 00:47:05,891 Commands such as "sit," 594 00:47:07,926 --> 00:47:10,195 "down," 595 00:47:11,930 --> 00:47:14,164 "come"... 596 00:47:14,165 --> 00:47:16,367 and, of course, "heel." 597 00:47:19,204 --> 00:47:22,106 And, therefore, in order to test your dog's skills, 598 00:47:22,107 --> 00:47:24,441 my wife, Florence Rutledge, has lovingly designed... 599 00:47:24,442 --> 00:47:27,411 the obstacle course, 600 00:47:27,412 --> 00:47:30,347 which represents real-life situations... 601 00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:33,017 you and your canine might actually encounter... 602 00:47:33,018 --> 00:47:35,419 in real life. 603 00:47:35,420 --> 00:47:38,956 The tunnel, one of the more difficult trials, 604 00:47:38,957 --> 00:47:42,092 which only 1 in 100 untrained dogs can successfully negotiate. 605 00:47:42,093 --> 00:47:47,097 The "A" frame, perhaps a dangerous sand dune at the beach... 606 00:47:47,098 --> 00:47:49,333 on a busy summer day, 607 00:47:49,334 --> 00:47:53,237 kids screaming everywhere! 608 00:47:53,238 --> 00:47:56,473 Can you trust your canine not to bolt into the crowd... 609 00:47:56,474 --> 00:48:00,110 and make off with a three-year-old kid for lunch? 610 00:48:00,111 --> 00:48:02,146 The double jump, 611 00:48:02,147 --> 00:48:05,449 perhaps... your neighbor's hedge, 612 00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:08,018 over which your dog might have to hurtle... 613 00:48:08,019 --> 00:48:10,020 to save you from a... 614 00:48:10,021 --> 00:48:12,356 eh... cat. 615 00:48:12,357 --> 00:48:14,925 It's happened before. 616 00:48:14,926 --> 00:48:17,427 The teeter, a lot like... 617 00:48:17,428 --> 00:48:20,264 well, I'm not sure about that one, 618 00:48:20,265 --> 00:48:23,233 but Florence like teeters, so she put it in. 619 00:48:23,234 --> 00:48:27,004 And, of course, the suspended foam donut. 620 00:48:27,005 --> 00:48:30,207 Absolutely impossible for amateurs to negotiate without proper training. 621 00:48:30,208 --> 00:48:32,376 So don't even try it. 622 00:48:32,377 --> 00:48:35,712 Yes, people, it's not going to happen overnight. 623 00:48:35,713 --> 00:48:38,949 But with a lot of hard work and patience, 624 00:48:38,950 --> 00:48:42,519 even a dog who's two bones short of a stew will learn to obey. 625 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:47,324 And before this class is over, big guy, 626 00:48:47,325 --> 00:48:50,995 you will be trained so well... 627 00:48:50,996 --> 00:48:53,430 that you will execute each and every obstacle... 628 00:48:53,431 --> 00:48:55,166 as if it were a walk in the park. 629 00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:04,009 I promise you that. Dismissed! 630 00:49:10,748 --> 00:49:13,550 Ladies, your attention, please, to the podium. 631 00:49:13,551 --> 00:49:17,121 Thank you. 632 00:49:17,122 --> 00:49:21,058 Ladies, you are invited here today... 633 00:49:21,059 --> 00:49:23,360 because you've all been in the forefront... 634 00:49:23,361 --> 00:49:26,030 in your concern for the environment... 635 00:49:26,031 --> 00:49:29,299 and your willingness to embrace new methods of conservation. 636 00:49:34,405 --> 00:49:40,310 The idea of drinking toilet water is a new one, to be sure, 637 00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:42,546 but it's the wave of the future! 638 00:49:47,085 --> 00:49:49,020 Hey! 639 00:50:16,481 --> 00:50:19,516 Come on, ladies. Don't be shy. 640 00:50:19,517 --> 00:50:22,387 Bottoms up, so to speak! Here we go! 641 00:50:24,255 --> 00:50:26,623 Ahh! 642 00:50:26,624 --> 00:50:30,561 - I can do this. - Lauren, you want to go play in my room? 643 00:50:33,264 --> 00:50:35,199 I got ya! Whoa! 644 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:39,103 Stop! Stop! 645 00:50:39,104 --> 00:50:41,171 - Michelangelo! - You're coming with me! 646 00:50:41,172 --> 00:50:43,408 What are you doing? Stop! Stop it! 647 00:50:46,411 --> 00:50:48,545 What are you doing? 648 00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:51,848 Aaah! 649 00:50:51,849 --> 00:50:54,418 Heel! 650 00:50:54,419 --> 00:50:57,621 Michelangelo, stop! 651 00:50:57,622 --> 00:51:00,290 Whoa-oa-oa! 652 00:51:08,399 --> 00:51:10,467 Oh, no. 653 00:51:27,118 --> 00:51:28,686 Oh, no! 654 00:51:34,325 --> 00:51:36,693 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 655 00:51:36,694 --> 00:51:39,597 Oh, dear, madam. You're all wet. 656 00:51:41,366 --> 00:51:43,334 Whoa! 657 00:51:45,303 --> 00:51:48,538 - Whoa! - Michelangelo! Sit! Stay! 658 00:51:48,539 --> 00:51:51,309 Heel! Oh, crikey. 659 00:51:52,710 --> 00:51:55,479 Oh... my... God! 660 00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,448 He's having an anxiety attack! 661 00:51:59,550 --> 00:52:01,619 Come here. Got ya. 662 00:52:04,489 --> 00:52:06,623 Now, that went well, didn't it? Idiot! 663 00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:09,293 Oh, shut up. 664 00:52:09,294 --> 00:52:12,263 Haven't you done enough? Come along. Goodness. 665 00:52:16,601 --> 00:52:20,170 You have no idea how traumatic it was, Doctor. 666 00:52:20,171 --> 00:52:23,207 The deeply buried feelings it dredged up. 667 00:52:23,208 --> 00:52:25,576 I just had a flash. 668 00:52:28,313 --> 00:52:31,948 Do you think I had issues with potty training when I was a child? 669 00:52:31,949 --> 00:52:34,518 Mrs. Sedgwick, would you please sit up? 670 00:52:34,519 --> 00:52:36,253 This is Michelangelo's appointment. 671 00:52:36,254 --> 00:52:38,655 Oh! 672 00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:40,691 Of course. 673 00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:45,562 I see there's a lot of hostility today. 674 00:52:45,563 --> 00:52:49,766 That's just it, Doctor. All that hostility, all that acting out. 675 00:52:49,767 --> 00:52:52,936 It's all so sudden. Where is it coming from? 676 00:52:52,937 --> 00:52:56,673 - Do you want to know what I think? - Of course. 677 00:52:56,674 --> 00:52:59,543 I think Michelangelo is reacting to a lack of affection. 678 00:52:59,544 --> 00:53:02,546 Well, that's ridiculous. 679 00:53:02,547 --> 00:53:05,349 I'm fairly sure my daughter gives him affection. 680 00:53:05,350 --> 00:53:08,718 - You're fairly sure? - Well, I've seen them together. 681 00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:13,258 Mrs. Sedgwick, do you give Michelangelo affection? Physical affection. 682 00:53:15,426 --> 00:53:17,561 I try to give him his space. 683 00:53:17,562 --> 00:53:20,297 What about your daughter? 684 00:53:20,298 --> 00:53:22,966 Well, I-I told you, I'm fairly sure... No, no. 685 00:53:22,967 --> 00:53:26,371 I mean, do you give your daughter affection? 686 00:53:29,574 --> 00:53:32,442 Dr. Brothers, as you pointed out, 687 00:53:32,443 --> 00:53:35,245 this is Michelangelo's appointment, not mine. 688 00:53:35,246 --> 00:53:39,449 Mrs. Sedgwick, I think the problem is deeper than Michelangelo. 689 00:53:39,450 --> 00:53:42,487 He's merely the first one to exhibit symptoms. 690 00:53:49,827 --> 00:53:53,597 - What are you writing now? - Notes from my new book. 691 00:53:53,598 --> 00:53:56,401 When you people fell out of the stupid tree, you hit every branch on the way down. 692 00:54:04,475 --> 00:54:06,643 Heel. 693 00:54:06,644 --> 00:54:09,346 Good boy. 694 00:54:09,347 --> 00:54:11,316 Sit. 695 00:54:12,817 --> 00:54:15,853 Brennan, look! Can you believe this? 696 00:54:20,591 --> 00:54:23,360 I don't know what it is. I mean, my dog just can't seem to learn anything. 697 00:54:23,361 --> 00:54:25,795 I wish he was more like Beethoven. 698 00:54:25,796 --> 00:54:29,600 Well, it didn't just happen overnight, you know. 699 00:54:31,769 --> 00:54:35,872 Um, you just, you know, gotta keep at it, 700 00:54:35,873 --> 00:54:39,776 and eventually it'll all come together. 701 00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:43,880 You just gotta, um, 702 00:54:43,881 --> 00:54:46,717 be patient, mostly, and a lot of hard work and stuff. 703 00:54:48,085 --> 00:54:49,820 Thanks. 704 00:54:54,625 --> 00:54:56,794 - Well, I gotta go. - I-I gotta go too. 705 00:54:58,429 --> 00:55:01,565 - Okay, bye. - Bye. 706 00:55:01,566 --> 00:55:03,868 Bye. Okay. I guess I'll see you later, then. 707 00:55:09,340 --> 00:55:10,907 It's just incredible, that's all. 708 00:55:10,908 --> 00:55:12,909 I mean, top student in the class. 709 00:55:12,910 --> 00:55:15,412 A beautiful girl likes me. 710 00:55:15,413 --> 00:55:17,547 It just doesn't work that way in high school. 711 00:55:17,548 --> 00:55:19,816 Brennan, are you worried about Beethoven? 712 00:55:19,817 --> 00:55:22,919 Oh, yeah. Real worried. I'm worried that he's gonna turn me into such a babe magnet, 713 00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:24,854 I won't have time to eat or sleep. 714 00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:27,657 Brennan, I mean it. 715 00:55:27,658 --> 00:55:29,759 Beethoven's not the same dog he used to be. 716 00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:33,397 What are you talking about? I mean, all our problems are over. 717 00:55:33,398 --> 00:55:35,832 Beethoven's finally learning how to obey. 718 00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:38,802 Mom's cooled off about sending him off to some farm. 719 00:55:38,803 --> 00:55:41,137 Hey, my math grades are better than they've ever been. 720 00:55:41,138 --> 00:55:43,774 - Brennan, I mean it. - I think he's totally fine, okay? 721 00:55:45,676 --> 00:55:47,712 Come on. 722 00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:52,349 Oh, no. 723 00:55:53,684 --> 00:55:56,386 Phoebe again. 724 00:55:56,387 --> 00:55:59,424 Don't worry about it. Go on, do your stuff, boy. 725 00:56:08,766 --> 00:56:11,835 Beethoven! Where are you going? Come on! 726 00:56:11,836 --> 00:56:14,571 Run! 727 00:56:14,572 --> 00:56:17,441 Beethoven! Run, Sara, run! 728 00:56:19,610 --> 00:56:21,646 Beethoven! Get back here, you weenie! 729 00:56:54,011 --> 00:56:57,781 Beethoven, I know I haven't always been your biggest fan, 730 00:56:57,782 --> 00:57:00,718 but I can see you're working hard to fit in. 731 00:57:05,690 --> 00:57:07,791 Honey, do you think he's okay? 732 00:57:07,792 --> 00:57:09,793 Are you kidding? 733 00:57:09,794 --> 00:57:12,562 If anybody's okay around here, it's Beethoven. 734 00:57:12,563 --> 00:57:14,764 I mean, he's not making a mess. He's not chasing the mailman. 735 00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:17,000 He's not even drooling. 736 00:57:17,001 --> 00:57:18,936 Sure, 'cause all he does is lie around all day. 737 00:57:20,705 --> 00:57:23,807 Well, then I guess he's just civilized. 738 00:57:23,808 --> 00:57:27,677 No! No, see, that's no good. I need him to do something. 739 00:57:27,678 --> 00:57:30,514 - Like what? - I don't know. 740 00:57:30,515 --> 00:57:33,450 Anything. I need his inspiration. 741 00:57:35,219 --> 00:57:37,587 Come on, boy. Pee on the rug. 742 00:57:37,588 --> 00:57:39,689 Just like old times. Pee on the rug. 743 00:57:39,690 --> 00:57:41,691 Richard! Look, I'm counting on him... 744 00:57:41,692 --> 00:57:44,227 to give me some ideas for this new pet card thing. 745 00:57:44,228 --> 00:57:49,065 I'm dying out there, honey. Come on, boy. Come on! 746 00:57:49,066 --> 00:57:53,069 Come on, boy, jump on the couch. Rip up a pillow! 747 00:57:53,070 --> 00:57:55,505 Martha, I just don't see what the problem is. 748 00:57:55,506 --> 00:57:57,807 He seems perfectly all right. 749 00:57:57,808 --> 00:58:00,977 - He attacked your personal trainer this morning. - That's fine with me. 750 00:58:00,978 --> 00:58:02,980 The man was making me do leg lifts. 751 00:58:05,716 --> 00:58:08,552 I'm sorry. I just don't see how this concerns us. 752 00:58:08,553 --> 00:58:10,720 I mean, can't the staff handle this? 753 00:58:10,721 --> 00:58:14,691 This isn't about the staff. It's about the family. 754 00:58:14,692 --> 00:58:17,761 - Well, then I think Madison should be here. - You're absolutely right. 755 00:58:17,762 --> 00:58:22,098 - Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. - Oh. Come in, honey. 756 00:58:22,099 --> 00:58:25,535 I would think you'd want to protect your investment, if nothing else. 757 00:58:25,536 --> 00:58:27,804 Michelangelo doesn't show anymore, 758 00:58:27,805 --> 00:58:29,640 but we could make quite a bit putting him out to... 759 00:58:31,008 --> 00:58:32,877 S-T-U-D. 760 00:58:35,913 --> 00:58:39,584 Besides, if you recall, we originally bought him as a family pet. 761 00:58:43,087 --> 00:58:45,789 All right. 762 00:58:45,790 --> 00:58:47,791 What did Dr. Brothers think that we should do? 763 00:58:47,792 --> 00:58:50,994 We have to bring out Michelangelo's inner puppy. 764 00:58:50,995 --> 00:58:53,830 Oh, good night, nurse. Oh, Reg! 765 00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:58,935 All right, fine. How? 766 00:58:58,936 --> 00:59:01,070 Cavort. 767 00:59:01,071 --> 00:59:03,873 Excuse me? Run. 768 00:59:03,874 --> 00:59:06,576 Play. Throw old tennis balls. 769 00:59:06,577 --> 00:59:08,945 The things real people do with their real pets. 770 00:59:08,946 --> 00:59:12,682 Sounds like fun, doesn't it, boy? 771 00:59:12,683 --> 00:59:15,652 I don't know how to cavort. Well, I don't either. It's pathetic, isn't it? 772 00:59:19,690 --> 00:59:22,627 He wants to teach you how to play. Here, Dad. Catch. 773 00:59:34,672 --> 00:59:36,774 - Bye, Dad. - Ham and cheese, pickle on the side. 774 00:59:40,678 --> 00:59:42,846 - Bye, Dad. - Mustard only, lettuce and avocado, 775 00:59:42,847 --> 00:59:45,081 sliced apple, three cookies, Jell-O, 776 00:59:45,082 --> 00:59:46,716 string cheese, spoon, napkin and a blue ice block. 777 00:59:46,717 --> 00:59:48,718 You got it. 778 00:59:55,125 --> 00:59:57,927 Well, 779 00:59:57,928 --> 01:00:00,096 I guess I'll go to work. 780 01:00:00,097 --> 01:00:02,699 Okay. 781 01:00:02,700 --> 01:00:04,001 - All right. - See ya. 782 01:00:08,005 --> 01:00:09,707 Oh. Uh, bye, Beethoven. 783 01:00:22,987 --> 01:00:25,655 Ah! 784 01:00:25,656 --> 01:00:28,091 I knew it. 785 01:00:28,092 --> 01:00:30,694 She'd never admit it in a million years, 786 01:00:30,695 --> 01:00:32,863 but she misses the slobbering old Beethoven too. 787 01:00:35,165 --> 01:00:38,434 Well, guess what, buddy. He's coming back. 788 01:00:45,910 --> 01:00:48,212 Just like Mama used to make! Yeah! 789 01:01:21,846 --> 01:01:24,948 Mr. Newton? 790 01:01:24,949 --> 01:01:27,017 Are-Are you okay? 791 01:01:34,124 --> 01:01:36,459 Sorry I brought the Book Club! 792 01:01:41,932 --> 01:01:44,200 Come on. Come on. 793 01:01:44,201 --> 01:01:46,871 Ohh. 794 01:01:57,047 --> 01:01:59,849 Ahh, a fragrant bouquet. 795 01:01:59,850 --> 01:02:02,820 Yeah. It's subtle, yet brazen. 796 01:02:28,312 --> 01:02:31,848 Richard, what are you doing? 797 01:02:31,849 --> 01:02:34,184 Nothing. Why? 798 01:02:59,143 --> 01:03:03,046 One, two, three. Hit the deck! 799 01:03:03,047 --> 01:03:06,850 Ahh, yeah! 800 01:03:06,851 --> 01:03:08,918 Yeah! 801 01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:13,190 Oh, no, you don't! Come back! 802 01:03:33,343 --> 01:03:37,113 Wow, Mom. I didn't know you knew how to cook bacon. 803 01:03:37,114 --> 01:03:39,216 Well, I'm sad to say there's a lot about me you don't know. 804 01:03:41,085 --> 01:03:43,186 Anyway, 805 01:03:43,187 --> 01:03:46,155 it's not real bacon. 806 01:03:46,156 --> 01:03:48,624 Really? 807 01:03:48,625 --> 01:03:50,360 'Cause... 808 01:03:54,598 --> 01:03:57,433 boy, it sure... it sure tastes like the real stuff. 809 01:03:59,436 --> 01:04:03,439 Oh! I thought the three of us... 810 01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,376 could take Michelangelo and try out the trail by the reservoir. 811 01:04:08,312 --> 01:04:11,314 Cool. Okay. That would be cool. 812 01:04:11,315 --> 01:04:14,350 Okay. I'll have Simmons bring the car around. 813 01:04:14,351 --> 01:04:17,086 I am here, sir. 814 01:04:17,087 --> 01:04:19,355 Oh. Nice job, Simmons. 815 01:04:19,356 --> 01:04:21,457 Simmons, bring the car around. 816 01:04:21,458 --> 01:04:23,427 It would make my day, sir. 817 01:04:42,212 --> 01:04:44,447 Nigel, it's me. 818 01:04:44,448 --> 01:04:47,050 Me, you idiot. 819 01:04:47,051 --> 01:04:50,019 Listen to me. They're going hiking... 820 01:04:50,020 --> 01:04:52,922 with the dog at the reservoir. 821 01:04:52,923 --> 01:04:55,424 No, not biking. Hiking. 822 01:04:55,425 --> 01:04:58,394 Yes. The dog. Meet me at the reservoir. 823 01:04:58,395 --> 01:05:01,331 Yes, right now, idiot. 824 01:05:13,143 --> 01:05:15,044 I didn't want to dirty any glasses. 825 01:05:15,045 --> 01:05:17,047 Oh. Huh. 826 01:05:19,349 --> 01:05:21,484 Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. 827 01:05:21,485 --> 01:05:25,021 Guys, wait. Honey, sit down here. 828 01:05:25,022 --> 01:05:26,223 Beethoven and I have something to show you. 829 01:05:30,260 --> 01:05:33,362 - Say good-bye. - What? 830 01:05:33,363 --> 01:05:35,032 Go on. Tell Beethoven good-bye. 831 01:05:37,267 --> 01:05:39,936 Good-bye. 832 01:05:43,040 --> 01:05:46,209 Ugh! 833 01:05:46,210 --> 01:05:50,279 - Eww! I thought he was over that! - Me too. 834 01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:54,450 Slobber, drool everywhere. Isn't it great? 835 01:05:54,451 --> 01:05:57,086 Yeah, ask me again when I dry off. 836 01:05:57,087 --> 01:05:59,422 We were so close! 837 01:05:59,423 --> 01:06:03,359 So close? What do you mean? 838 01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:06,029 Well, we didn't want to tell you till it was over, but... 839 01:06:06,030 --> 01:06:10,099 We've been taking Beethoven to obedience school. 840 01:06:10,100 --> 01:06:11,535 What? Yeah. 841 01:06:13,770 --> 01:06:16,039 Well, that explains a few things. 842 01:06:16,040 --> 01:06:19,275 Yeah. But why? Why would you... 843 01:06:19,276 --> 01:06:21,744 Because we wanted to keep him. 844 01:06:21,745 --> 01:06:23,513 And we figured if he was acting better, then maybe we could. 845 01:06:29,386 --> 01:06:31,155 Well, you did a good job. 846 01:06:32,322 --> 01:06:34,991 Yeah. Almost too good. 847 01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:39,196 So, can we keep him? 848 01:06:41,365 --> 01:06:43,267 Oh... 849 01:06:58,615 --> 01:07:01,217 Okay, he can stay. 850 01:07:01,218 --> 01:07:03,786 - Yes! - All right! 851 01:07:03,787 --> 01:07:08,057 Thanks, Mom! Guess what. 852 01:07:08,058 --> 01:07:10,359 Beethoven's valedictorian of his class. No kidding? 853 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:13,796 Whoa! Hey, where'd he go? 854 01:07:18,502 --> 01:07:21,370 - He's drinking from the toilet! - Oh! 855 01:07:21,371 --> 01:07:24,140 He's downing the whole bowl! 856 01:07:24,141 --> 01:07:27,143 Keep drinking, boy. I'm gonna get my sketch pad. 857 01:07:27,144 --> 01:07:29,278 Brennan, go get Beethoven out of the bathroom. 858 01:07:29,279 --> 01:07:31,814 Right. 859 01:07:31,815 --> 01:07:34,217 That's weird. Yeah. 860 01:07:34,218 --> 01:07:36,120 Whew! 861 01:07:40,324 --> 01:07:42,558 All right. Come on. There. 862 01:07:42,559 --> 01:07:46,529 Look at him mark the trail, huh, Martha? Those were the days. 863 01:07:46,530 --> 01:07:49,432 You know, when I was a kid, my dad took us all out west in a land yacht. 864 01:07:49,433 --> 01:07:52,335 What's that? A motor home. 865 01:07:52,336 --> 01:07:55,171 - That sounds like fun. - Oh, it was great fun. 866 01:07:55,172 --> 01:07:58,407 How about you, boy? Huh? 867 01:07:58,408 --> 01:08:00,476 You've never been on vacation in a motor home, have you? 868 01:08:00,477 --> 01:08:03,213 Whoa! 869 01:08:11,221 --> 01:08:14,223 Sir, I don't know if you saw the signs back there, but it clearly said... 870 01:08:16,560 --> 01:08:20,329 Get in the car! Get in the car! Put on your seat belt! 871 01:08:20,330 --> 01:08:22,166 Let's go! Go! 872 01:08:25,435 --> 01:08:29,138 - Daddy! - That's horrible! 873 01:08:29,139 --> 01:08:31,574 Stop it! He's got Michelangelo! 874 01:08:38,882 --> 01:08:41,684 Yes, it is part of the F.B.I. internship program. Look it up in the manual. 875 01:08:41,685 --> 01:08:44,187 Now, listen. Two buttermilk, two chocolate with rainbow sprinkles, 876 01:08:44,188 --> 01:08:46,355 four jelly-filled, and go to Krispy Kreme. 877 01:08:46,356 --> 01:08:48,657 We get a discount there. Put the box in my car. 878 01:08:48,658 --> 01:08:51,294 Yeah, with two coffees. No sugar. 879 01:09:02,239 --> 01:09:05,141 Uh, the car is registered to someone named "Niggel Bigelow." 880 01:09:09,313 --> 01:09:13,449 Nigel. The car is registered to Nigel Bye-jelow. 881 01:09:13,450 --> 01:09:16,919 It's Nigel Bigelow. 882 01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:19,622 Right. 883 01:09:19,623 --> 01:09:21,525 Whatever. 884 01:09:23,693 --> 01:09:25,728 Didn't even bother to remove the plates from the vehicle. 885 01:09:25,729 --> 01:09:28,397 That's pretty sloppy. 886 01:09:28,398 --> 01:09:31,634 Now, the local cops have his apartment staked out. 887 01:09:31,635 --> 01:09:34,570 The problem is that he knows that we made him, since he abandoned his vehicle. 888 01:09:34,571 --> 01:09:37,540 So chances are that he returns there are pretty slim. 889 01:09:37,541 --> 01:09:40,309 All we can do is sit and wait. I, um... 890 01:09:40,310 --> 01:09:42,778 I hate to mention this under the circumstances, sir, 891 01:09:42,779 --> 01:09:45,514 but, uh, I do have that doctor's appointment. 892 01:09:45,515 --> 01:09:48,584 Oh, absolutely, Simmons. 893 01:09:48,585 --> 01:09:50,753 You've done enough for one day. 894 01:09:50,754 --> 01:09:54,357 Uh, I mean, if that's all right with you guys. 895 01:09:54,358 --> 01:09:58,561 Yeah, sure, sure. It's best to keep to a normal routine. 896 01:09:58,562 --> 01:10:00,729 We don't think that Bigelow has an accomplice, 897 01:10:00,730 --> 01:10:02,798 but he could be watching the house. 898 01:10:02,799 --> 01:10:05,501 Very good, sir. 899 01:10:05,502 --> 01:10:08,371 And, um, thank you, sir. 900 01:10:08,372 --> 01:10:11,340 Oh. Here you are, 901 01:10:11,341 --> 01:10:14,510 Miss Madison. 902 01:10:14,511 --> 01:10:18,815 Well, cheerio. 903 01:10:46,009 --> 01:10:48,477 Back! Back, dog! Back! Nice dog! 904 01:10:48,478 --> 01:10:50,746 Back in your room. Back in your room. 905 01:10:50,747 --> 01:10:54,817 Don't... Get... Don't... Get... Don't... Don't... Don't... 906 01:11:02,692 --> 01:11:05,429 Get back in the room! 907 01:11:07,764 --> 01:11:10,766 Well, Nigel, 908 01:11:10,767 --> 01:11:13,402 I see you have a firm command of the situation, as usual. 909 01:11:13,403 --> 01:11:16,339 You lied. You said he weren't a killer. 910 01:11:16,340 --> 01:11:20,376 He's not a killer. You are an oaf. 911 01:11:20,377 --> 01:11:21,711 Yeah, whatever. Just get rid of him. Come on, Michelangelo. 912 01:11:25,048 --> 01:11:27,451 And-And make sure you lock the door! What are you doing with a chicken? 913 01:11:30,654 --> 01:11:34,089 Oh, have I told you how much I... 914 01:11:34,090 --> 01:11:36,892 loathe giving you your kibble morning, noon and night? 915 01:11:36,893 --> 01:11:39,863 No? Well, let me show you. 916 01:11:42,532 --> 01:11:44,467 Lunch... 917 01:11:44,468 --> 01:11:46,436 is served, sir. 918 01:11:49,739 --> 01:11:52,608 Well, 919 01:11:52,609 --> 01:11:55,778 that wasn't too difficult, was it? 920 01:11:55,779 --> 01:12:00,449 You can come down now, Nigel. The killer doggie is safely put away. 921 01:12:00,450 --> 01:12:02,818 Yeah, well, that's okay for you, 922 01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:05,388 but the bathroom's in there, and eventually, I'll have to use it. 923 01:12:05,389 --> 01:12:07,823 Now listen to me. 924 01:12:07,824 --> 01:12:10,559 If we can get through all this without you leaping atop the furniture... 925 01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:14,096 every time the dog decides to behave like a dog, 926 01:12:14,097 --> 01:12:17,601 then you can go to the bathroom on the afternoon flight to Rio de Janeiro. 927 01:12:18,835 --> 01:12:22,638 Why? 928 01:12:22,639 --> 01:12:25,641 Oh, right. Yeah. Because we're going to Brazil this afternoon. 929 01:12:25,642 --> 01:12:28,844 Yeah, yeah, I remember. I packed my maracas. I can use... 930 01:12:28,845 --> 01:12:30,614 Shut up and read this. It's your lines. 931 01:12:34,884 --> 01:12:36,586 Glasses. 932 01:12:52,769 --> 01:12:55,604 Oh, come on. 933 01:12:55,605 --> 01:12:57,606 It wasn't me. It was the whoopie. 934 01:12:57,607 --> 01:12:59,509 Phone. 935 01:13:35,211 --> 01:13:36,946 Hello? 936 01:13:39,516 --> 01:13:42,452 - Hello? - Speak clearly. 937 01:13:44,488 --> 01:13:46,723 Ransom note. The puppy, you twit! 938 01:13:49,526 --> 01:13:51,927 I have your dog. 939 01:13:51,928 --> 01:13:55,598 Put 250,000 in a plain paper bag... 940 01:13:55,599 --> 01:13:58,901 behind the statue in Civic Center Park. 941 01:13:58,902 --> 01:14:02,805 No police. You have till 4:00 "pumm" today. 942 01:14:02,806 --> 01:14:05,207 P.M., you twit! 943 01:14:05,208 --> 01:14:07,009 4:00 p.m., you twit. 944 01:14:07,010 --> 01:14:09,878 250,000 what? 945 01:14:09,879 --> 01:14:14,249 - 250,000 dollars. - Dollars? 946 01:14:14,250 --> 01:14:16,620 - Dollars. - By 4:00? 947 01:14:24,060 --> 01:14:25,961 And make it all in unmarked... 948 01:14:25,962 --> 01:14:29,632 twenty-dollar bills. 949 01:14:29,633 --> 01:14:34,637 - I don't know if I can do that. - If you ever want to see that mutt again, 950 01:14:34,638 --> 01:14:37,239 you'll do exactly what I say. 951 01:14:37,240 --> 01:14:40,576 No police. No mistakes. 952 01:14:40,577 --> 01:14:42,645 You put him on the phone. I want to talk to him. 953 01:14:49,619 --> 01:14:52,054 He's okay. All right. Just don't hurt him. 954 01:14:59,262 --> 01:15:01,730 - Did you just... - No. No, I didn't. 955 01:15:01,731 --> 01:15:03,732 It was the dog. 956 01:15:03,733 --> 01:15:06,669 4:00 p.m. 957 01:15:06,670 --> 01:15:08,538 You idiot. 958 01:15:14,010 --> 01:15:16,745 Where are you going? I'm going to the bank. 959 01:15:16,746 --> 01:15:19,715 Hah! I told him, didn't I? 960 01:15:19,716 --> 01:15:22,985 Oh, yes. You were superb. 961 01:15:22,986 --> 01:15:26,656 Now, I have to leave. Listen to me. 962 01:15:29,759 --> 01:15:31,060 Are you listening to me? 963 01:15:32,729 --> 01:15:34,897 Yeah, I think. 964 01:15:34,898 --> 01:15:38,668 Don't... let... him... out. 965 01:15:41,137 --> 01:15:43,039 Who? 966 01:15:44,774 --> 01:15:47,811 The dog! 967 01:15:51,681 --> 01:15:54,617 I got it. The dog. I got it. Don't worry. 968 01:15:54,618 --> 01:15:56,953 Don't worry. He's not going anywhere. 969 01:16:41,698 --> 01:16:44,600 Look at him. He's so handsome. Yeah. 970 01:16:47,203 --> 01:16:51,006 Now I know why Brennan was so gung ho about this. Yeah, she's cute. 971 01:16:51,007 --> 01:16:54,042 I wonder if she's the one who's been doing his math homework. 972 01:16:54,043 --> 01:16:56,945 Hey, how 'bout this? "Dear master. 973 01:16:56,946 --> 01:16:59,882 "It's our anniversary. I see you've raised your cup. 974 01:16:59,883 --> 01:17:01,984 "So I drink a toast to us, 975 01:17:01,985 --> 01:17:04,020 and will never leave the seat up." 976 01:18:09,052 --> 01:18:11,855 Be careful, honey. Yeah. 977 01:18:49,525 --> 01:18:52,762 Is he gonna be all right? He's gonna be all right, isn't he? 978 01:18:54,964 --> 01:18:56,900 Tell me he's going to be all right. 979 01:19:23,226 --> 01:19:25,995 ♪ 980 01:20:04,033 --> 01:20:06,068 Uh, congratulations. All right. 981 01:20:06,069 --> 01:20:08,404 Thank you. Come on. 982 01:20:17,914 --> 01:20:19,382 Take a bite of this one. There you go. 983 01:20:31,327 --> 01:20:33,595 There he is! That's the thief! 984 01:20:33,596 --> 01:20:36,832 - Who? - Stay here. 985 01:20:44,340 --> 01:20:47,209 Hey! Hey! Hey! 986 01:20:47,210 --> 01:20:50,980 Reg! Wait! We're right behind you! 987 01:21:23,012 --> 01:21:25,680 There he goes. 988 01:21:28,184 --> 01:21:30,086 Push. 989 01:21:44,067 --> 01:21:45,468 You gotta quit smoking, pal. 990 01:21:55,478 --> 01:21:59,081 It's empty! There's no money! 991 01:21:59,082 --> 01:22:01,716 This ain't right. Johnny said we was in this together. 992 01:22:01,717 --> 01:22:04,286 Why'd he rat me out? 993 01:22:04,287 --> 01:22:08,123 Johnny? J... 994 01:22:08,124 --> 01:22:09,959 Jonathan Simmons? 995 01:22:27,343 --> 01:22:29,945 Michelangelo. What are you doing here? 996 01:22:33,449 --> 01:22:37,019 Good boy. Stay. 997 01:22:37,020 --> 01:22:40,322 Stay there. It's all right. Yes. 998 01:22:40,323 --> 01:22:43,459 Good boy. Stay. 999 01:22:44,560 --> 01:22:47,295 Stay. 1000 01:22:47,296 --> 01:22:49,232 Good boy. 1001 01:23:00,476 --> 01:23:03,211 Oh, no. Well? 1002 01:23:03,212 --> 01:23:05,514 I put it right here. It's gone! Oh, no. 1003 01:23:10,486 --> 01:23:13,221 This class's valedictorian... 1004 01:23:13,222 --> 01:23:15,257 is one in a million. 1005 01:23:15,258 --> 01:23:18,493 A champion among canines. 1006 01:23:18,494 --> 01:23:21,564 Noblest of a noble breed. Beethoven, front and center. 1007 01:23:27,770 --> 01:23:30,073 All right, Beethoven! All right! 1008 01:23:34,477 --> 01:23:37,212 All right. Come on. 1009 01:23:37,213 --> 01:23:40,282 He reminds me of a dog I knew during the war. 1010 01:23:40,283 --> 01:23:42,317 A stalwart pup. 1011 01:23:42,318 --> 01:23:45,621 Brave, loyal, true. 1012 01:23:48,191 --> 01:23:50,325 And so, without any further ado, 1013 01:23:50,326 --> 01:23:53,195 How much more ado can there possibly be? 1014 01:23:53,196 --> 01:23:57,099 It is my pleasure to introduce this class's valedictorian, 1015 01:23:57,100 --> 01:23:59,635 and an outstanding trouper, Beethoven! 1016 01:24:16,852 --> 01:24:21,156 Get organized. Stop that! 1017 01:24:27,163 --> 01:24:31,299 Watch out! Sit! Down! 1018 01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:34,569 For gosh sakes, people, you're acting like animals! 1019 01:24:34,570 --> 01:24:37,240 Cease and desist! Look out! 1020 01:24:39,408 --> 01:24:42,344 At ease! 1021 01:24:42,345 --> 01:24:45,481 You little flea bag! 1022 01:24:47,416 --> 01:24:50,352 Whoa! 1023 01:24:50,353 --> 01:24:52,854 Look out! Help! 1024 01:25:03,132 --> 01:25:04,667 Whoa! 1025 01:25:11,607 --> 01:25:14,642 Michelangelo! 1026 01:25:14,643 --> 01:25:17,280 Where are you, Michelangelo? 1027 01:25:18,481 --> 01:25:20,283 Where are you? 1028 01:25:34,630 --> 01:25:38,466 Michelangelo! 1029 01:25:38,467 --> 01:25:40,336 Beethoven! 1030 01:25:41,904 --> 01:25:44,507 Where are you going? 1031 01:25:45,941 --> 01:25:48,943 Oh. 1032 01:25:48,944 --> 01:25:52,214 Sara, bring me the leash. 1033 01:25:52,215 --> 01:25:55,250 Ow! Ooh! Ow, get your nose out of there! 1034 01:25:57,720 --> 01:26:00,289 Dogs, you... 1035 01:26:03,726 --> 01:26:06,661 Easy. Oop! 1036 01:26:06,662 --> 01:26:08,763 Beethoven, don't ever run away like that. 1037 01:26:08,764 --> 01:26:12,667 That was weird. 1038 01:26:12,668 --> 01:26:14,670 F.B.I., Simmons. Hold it right there. 1039 01:26:17,273 --> 01:26:18,774 Uh-oh. 1040 01:26:29,485 --> 01:26:32,687 You got him? Well, excellent work, Detectives. 1041 01:26:32,688 --> 01:26:35,490 You mean, excellent work, brother. 1042 01:26:35,491 --> 01:26:39,562 Right, brother? Hah! Ratted you back. 1043 01:26:41,297 --> 01:26:43,631 You always were a selfish, 1044 01:26:43,632 --> 01:26:46,000 smelly little man. 1045 01:26:46,001 --> 01:26:47,802 And I thought we were in this together. 1046 01:26:47,803 --> 01:26:51,673 Well, you thought wrong. 1047 01:26:51,674 --> 01:26:54,709 Hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1048 01:26:54,710 --> 01:26:57,011 Why did you do it? 1049 01:26:57,012 --> 01:27:00,515 Do you remember SedgePro 97? 1050 01:27:00,516 --> 01:27:03,318 Are you kidding me? 1051 01:27:03,319 --> 01:27:05,620 It's the only piece of software I ever created. 1052 01:27:05,621 --> 01:27:07,455 That lost millions for our investors. 1053 01:27:07,456 --> 01:27:10,359 Of which I was one. 1054 01:27:11,627 --> 01:27:14,229 Oh. Sorry. 1055 01:27:22,471 --> 01:27:24,740 Madison, I'm sure the agents will find him. 1056 01:27:26,775 --> 01:27:29,411 You don't even really care. 1057 01:27:29,412 --> 01:27:31,846 He's just some investment to you. 1058 01:27:31,847 --> 01:27:34,417 I heard you tell Daddy. 1059 01:27:36,752 --> 01:27:39,687 Michelangelo loves me more than anybody else in the world. 1060 01:27:39,688 --> 01:27:41,724 Maybe even more than you. 1061 01:27:43,559 --> 01:27:45,561 Oh, Madison, that's not true. 1062 01:27:53,636 --> 01:27:55,404 It's just that we've forgotten how to show it. 1063 01:28:16,659 --> 01:28:18,760 Michelangelo? 1064 01:28:18,761 --> 01:28:21,464 Michelangelo! 1065 01:28:47,523 --> 01:28:49,758 May I have the leash for him? 1066 01:28:52,895 --> 01:28:56,631 "What is it about this dog," you may ask, 1067 01:28:56,632 --> 01:28:58,833 "that merits this honor?" 1068 01:28:58,834 --> 01:29:01,836 Well, I can sum it up in one word: 1069 01:29:01,837 --> 01:29:04,473 "A"... discipline; 1070 01:29:06,542 --> 01:29:09,811 two... obedience; 1071 01:29:09,812 --> 01:29:12,914 and "D"... 1072 01:29:12,915 --> 01:29:14,949 overlooking any temptations... 1073 01:29:14,950 --> 01:29:18,586 that may pass right in front of his nose. 1074 01:29:18,587 --> 01:29:20,922 - Uh, Sgt. Rutledge... - At ease, son. I'm on a roll. 1075 01:29:20,923 --> 01:29:23,425 - But I got... - Just... Mmmm! 1076 01:29:23,426 --> 01:29:25,827 Just remember: 1077 01:29:25,828 --> 01:29:28,896 Until your dog is properly trained, 1078 01:29:28,897 --> 01:29:31,900 never let go of the leash. 1079 01:29:34,403 --> 01:29:37,505 Uh-oh. Ah-ooh! 1080 01:29:41,477 --> 01:29:43,945 Beethoven! 1081 01:29:43,946 --> 01:29:48,650 Yeah. His old self again. What a card this'll make. 1082 01:29:48,651 --> 01:29:50,985 That's our dog! 1083 01:29:50,986 --> 01:29:52,888 Beethoven! 1084 01:30:09,772 --> 01:30:12,575 No. 1085 01:30:21,884 --> 01:30:24,652 ♪ Well, everybody thinks I'm just a little out of place ♪ 1086 01:30:24,653 --> 01:30:27,855 ♪ But who can blame me 1087 01:30:27,856 --> 01:30:30,625 ♪ I'm tryin' hard to fit in but it'll be okay ♪ 1088 01:30:30,626 --> 01:30:33,828 ♪ Once you train me 1089 01:30:33,829 --> 01:30:37,231 ♪ Show me all your moves 1090 01:30:37,232 --> 01:30:39,967 ♪ I'll show you who's walkin' who ♪ 1091 01:30:39,968 --> 01:30:42,937 ♪ Come, stay, speak, sit 1092 01:30:42,938 --> 01:30:46,474 ♪ New dog, old tricks 1093 01:30:46,475 --> 01:30:49,477 ♪ No more fleas No more ticks ♪ 1094 01:30:49,478 --> 01:30:51,713 ♪ Chasin' balls and fetchin' sticks ♪ 1095 01:30:51,714 --> 01:30:54,916 ♪ I'm your new best friend 1096 01:30:54,917 --> 01:30:57,985 ♪ New dog, old tricks 1097 01:30:57,986 --> 01:31:01,489 ♪ Caviar-flavored biscuits 1098 01:31:01,490 --> 01:31:03,958 good as this ♪ ♪ I never had it good as this 1099 01:31:03,959 --> 01:31:06,961 ♪ I'm a new dog Old tricks ♪ 1100 01:31:12,835 --> 01:31:15,670 ♪ Hey, if you think you're gonna get me to heel for you ♪ 1101 01:31:15,671 --> 01:31:18,940 ♪ Don't bother 1102 01:31:18,941 --> 01:31:21,576 ♪ 'Cause you'll be slippin' and slidin' and swimmin' knee deep ♪ 1103 01:31:21,577 --> 01:31:24,712 ♪ In slobber 1104 01:31:24,713 --> 01:31:28,249 ♪ There's a new pooch on the block ♪ 1105 01:31:28,250 --> 01:31:30,985 ♪ I'll show you who'll be top dog ♪ 1106 01:31:30,986 --> 01:31:33,921 ♪ Eat, sleep, bark, sniff 1107 01:31:33,922 --> 01:31:37,291 ♪ New dog, old tricks 1108 01:31:37,292 --> 01:31:40,094 ♪ No more fleas No more ticks ♪ 1109 01:31:40,095 --> 01:31:42,730 ♪ Chasin' balls or fetchin' sticks ♪ 1110 01:31:42,731 --> 01:31:45,933 ♪ I'm your new best friend 1111 01:31:45,934 --> 01:31:48,970 ♪ New dog, old tricks 1112 01:31:48,971 --> 01:31:51,873 ♪ Caviar-flavored biscuits 1113 01:31:51,874 --> 01:31:55,009 ♪ Never had it good as this 1114 01:31:55,010 --> 01:31:57,712 ♪ I'm a new dog Old tricks ♪ 1115 01:32:28,010 --> 01:32:30,778 ♪ Well, everybody thinks I'm just a little out of place ♪ 1116 01:32:30,779 --> 01:32:33,881 ♪ But who can blame me 1117 01:32:33,882 --> 01:32:36,618 ♪ I'm tryin' hard to fit in but it'll be okay ♪ 1118 01:32:36,619 --> 01:32:39,854 ♪ Once you train me 1119 01:32:39,855 --> 01:32:43,124 ♪ Show me all your moves 1120 01:32:43,125 --> 01:32:45,927 ♪ I'll show you who's walkin' who ♪ 1121 01:32:45,928 --> 01:32:49,030 ♪ Come, stay, speak, sit 1122 01:32:49,031 --> 01:32:52,166 ♪ New dog, old tricks 1123 01:32:52,167 --> 01:32:55,102 ♪ No more fleas No more ticks ♪ 1124 01:32:55,103 --> 01:32:57,805 ♪ Chasin' balls and fetchin' sticks ♪ 1125 01:32:57,806 --> 01:33:00,975 ♪ I'm your new best friend 1126 01:33:00,976 --> 01:33:03,945 ♪ New dog, old tricks 1127 01:33:03,946 --> 01:33:06,948 ♪ Caviar-flavored biscuits 1128 01:33:06,949 --> 01:33:09,817 ♪ Never had it good as this 1129 01:33:09,818 --> 01:33:13,088 ♪ I'm a new dog with old tricks ♪