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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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So, what did you
do last night?
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I took advantage of a
vulnerable, lonely woman.
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Alright.
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Hey, did you like it when i
kissed the back of your neck?
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Women don't know it, but that's
a major erogenous zone. So sexy.
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I've been thinking about this a lot
- were you up all night, too?
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Oh, no, I'm a guy.
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By "a lot," I mean the five minutes
I've been awake. My bad. Go on.
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I don't make friends easily,
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And this-this little group
of ours...
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The cul-de-sac crew. Yeah, I'm not gonna
call 'em that. Um, this little group...
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The crew. Right. Well,
um, it means a lot to me,
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And our friendship
means a lot to me.
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I don't want to
mess that up.
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I don't either.
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Maybe this should just be
a- a onetime deal.
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Or... We could
just be friends...
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with benefits.
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Oh, you snuck that in
at the end, didn't ya?
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Friends with benefits-
the old f.W.B.
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That is the greatest male myth
of our time.
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I mean, that and our knees
being an erogenous zone.
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It is.
It's not. It's a knee.
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Do you want to know
why f.W.B. Never works?
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No. We're friends.
It can't be casual.
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Friend sex comes
with feelings and baggage,
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And someone always gets hurt.
It's a horrible idea.
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jules, it's coffee time! Stay
here. I don't want them to know.
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but I love coffee time.
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it's 7:45.
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How come come you're not
down here already serving us?
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Hey, gang.
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Aah! Don't do that.
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♪ making coffee for my friends ♪
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That's what they like
in the morning ♪
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What? You only sing-narrate your
life when you're hiding something.
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Let's play the admission game.
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That's when friends admit stuff,
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And it brings everyone
much closer.
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I read about it in a magazine.
What magazine?
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Fine! It's just-I feel like
people respect my ideas more
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When they think that they
came out of magazines. Nope.
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I'll go first
because I got nothing to hide.
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Ellie,
last week I dropped stan.
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He got googly eyes for a second,
but then they went right back.
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Whatevs.
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Once, while you were asleep,
I kissed you on the forehead
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'cause I wanted you to have nice
dreams. No, I know. I was awake.
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Oh, els like the game
should be over.
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Come on! Don't you guys want
to get inside each other?
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That's what she said.
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Oh ho ho!
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Bing-bing-bing-bing-
bing-bing-bing! So lame.
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Why won't that joke
ever go away?
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We should steal it from them
so they know how annoying it is.
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good luck, sisters.
Not that easy.
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It's never hard for me.
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That's what he said. Whoo!
Oh!
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ha!
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I don't like this.
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Are we here to buy me a car
for college?
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good one, trav.
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Thanks.
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You know how I've been working
odd jobs for extra cash?
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I really gotta get
to school. You will.
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I just have to drop mr. Rockwell
off at the mall first.
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I'm gonna buy pants.
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00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,015
Well, I'm trying to scrape
together enough dough
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To get my boat
back in the water.
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And as a promotion,
this place is releasing
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A balloon
with 2,000 bucks in it.
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Dad, you can't put
all your financial hopes
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Into balloon chasing.
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I mean, you gotta keep buying
those lottery tickets.
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I'm just kidding.
Don't do that.
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What?
I want our joke back.
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Oh, it's not your joke
anymore.
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I got you a present, but I'm not even
gonna give it to you now. Yes, you are.
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I know. I'm too excited.
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I hired a nanny. I know you're
gonna say we don't need it,
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But it's only three days
a week.
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I just thought
it would be nice for you
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To have some help around
the house and not be tied down.
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And so what do you think?
Ellie.
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That's the nicest thing
you've ever done for me.
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Oh, stop.
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It's just a tiny thing.
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that's what he said.
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You ruined it!
You ruined my gift!
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Stop it.
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Nothing wrong with looking.
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I smell lovers.
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No, you don't, barb.
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00:04:10,596 --> 00:04:13,636
Oh, the air's so think with
pheromones, I can barely see.
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00:04:14,741 --> 00:04:16,711
Every hair on my body
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Would be standing on end
if I weren't shaved bald from...
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Here down.
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I can't believe
I'm getting a nanny.
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I mean, I just had
to put my ego aside
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And realize can't do it all
by myself.
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What do you do for a living?
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Oh... Corporate attorney.
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no, no, honey.
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He's asking what you do now,
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Not a hundred years ago.
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She's very, very busy taking
care of all of her children.
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Oh. How many kids do you have?
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You only have one, don't you?
Why would you do that to me?
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For fun. So I don't
work and I have a nanny.
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I don't have to be embarrassed.
after years of taking your abuse,
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I've finally found
your weak spot.
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Jules! Honey,
I've found her weak spot.
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Oh, you mean that cheesy
dolphin tattoo on her butt?
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Y- you didn't mean that, did you?
Well, she doesn't have one.
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It's my spirit guide.
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Hey, jules. You left
your sunglasses at the bar.
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Thank you.
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2 for 2.
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ready? Ten...
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I'm here.
Let's do a hands-in.
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Andy, there's no time.
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okay, hands in.
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All right, remember,
the money's in the red balloon.
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Hurt people if you have to. We can apologize
later. God help me, I enjoy you, dad.
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All right, balloon!
balloon!
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...Two, one! Go get it!
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This was not well thought out.
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Okay, do you want
to know why
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I think that we can pull off
being friends with benefits?
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Hell, yeah, I do.
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We're friends.
We're friends.
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We can keep it casual.
It can't be casual.
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00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,663
Plus, friend sex is
the most fun. You know it.
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00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,131
Friend sex comes with feelings
and-and baggage,
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00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:06,582
And someone always gets hurt.
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00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,032
I mean- I mean,
we're smart enough
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Not to make the same mistakes
everyone else makes.
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And everyone thinks they can
avoid falling into that trap,
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But they can't. It's a
horrible idea. Let'do this.
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Can't argue with that.
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00:06:15,905 --> 00:06:18,872
But one thing-let's still
just keep this between us.
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You are so right.
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Oh, good. You're done.
I got your text.
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What? She doesn't count.
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Transcrypt by www.MY-SUBS.com
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So you guys are actually
gonna try it? The old f.W.B.?
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Yep. No guilt.
No commitment.
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Oh, wait. How are we gonna know
when it's, you know, going down?
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I could politely say,
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00:06:45,777 --> 00:06:47,411
"shall we?"
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00:06:47,412 --> 00:06:51,447
And if I'm in the mood, I can
curtsy and say, "indeed."
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Very classy.
153
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What about post-sex cuddling?
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Oh.
This one needs it.
155
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She holds on like an otter
trying to break opea clam.
156
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That's why ellie will be
my surrogate afterglow partner.
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Yay! So fun.
158
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Uh-huh. I'm gonna otter
the hell out of you.
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I don't see the balloon.
160
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Well, even if you did, how are
we gonna lose everyone else?
161
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Come on, man. You think this is
my first money balloon chase?
162
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Okay, it is, but still,
I set up a diversion.
163
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I got it! I got the balloon!
164
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Jules cobb real estate
for all your housing needs!
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00:07:28,150 --> 00:07:29,583
Hey.
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00:07:29,584 --> 00:07:31,152
What was that about?
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00:07:31,153 --> 00:07:33,520
I don't know.
Sometimes it's just easier
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To do what bobby says
and not ask questions.
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aah!
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00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:39,524
What are you doing?
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00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:42,726
I'm sending ellie pictures
of famous working moms.
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00:07:42,727 --> 00:07:44,193
Laurie, that's too mean.
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I was gonna include you.
Well, hold on a second.
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Okay.
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Marina, if you're part
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00:07:57,839 --> 00:08:00,607
Of some white baby-selling ring,
don't waste your time.
177
00:08:00,608 --> 00:08:03,642
Stan's cuban, so he will not
feh a good price.
178
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It must be hard for you
to leave this muñequito.
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It is.
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Bu spanish.
181
00:08:10,816 --> 00:08:13,751
So what time will you
be home from work?
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00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,054
6:00.
183
00:08:18,055 --> 00:08:20,790
Oh, I should have said 5:00.
184
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What's with the outfit?
185
00:08:22,358 --> 00:08:25,093
I work here now.
I don't want to talk about it.
186
00:08:25,094 --> 00:08:28,829
okay. What's in your
briefcase? Almonds and wine.
187
00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:31,632
No way! That's exactly
what's in my briefcase.
188
00:08:31,633 --> 00:08:33,166
Oh.
189
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:36,068
Shall we?
190
00:08:36,069 --> 00:08:37,970
Indeed.
191
00:08:37,971 --> 00:08:39,305
Milady.
192
00:08:39,306 --> 00:08:41,441
But I just set up my office.
193
00:08:41,442 --> 00:08:43,410
Where am I gonna go?
194
00:08:45,713 --> 00:08:47,414
Ma'am.
195
00:08:47,415 --> 00:08:49,048
U cannot drink here.
196
00:08:49,049 --> 00:08:52,251
You're kidding. How do people
get through the workday?
197
00:08:53,953 --> 00:08:57,022
Shh. It's not weird.
It's my baby.
198
00:08:57,023 --> 00:08:59,257
and my husband.
199
00:08:59,258 --> 00:09:02,294
here.
Can you hold this for a second?
200
00:09:02,295 --> 00:09:04,163
Oh! There it is.
Be cool, man.
201
00:09:04,164 --> 00:09:07,199
If we all stare at the sky,
people are gonna know.
202
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,935
We'll look up in shifts.
First me. Travis. Now andy.
203
00:09:10,936 --> 00:09:13,638
Now me. Travis. Andy.
204
00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:17,208
Now me. Ooh!
Ooh!
205
00:09:17,209 --> 00:09:19,077
Go on without me.
206
00:09:19,078 --> 00:09:20,912
You heard him. Me.
207
00:09:20,913 --> 00:09:23,781
You. Me. You.
208
00:09:23,782 --> 00:09:27,584
This looks totally natural.
Me. You.
209
00:09:28,886 --> 00:09:30,653
Okay. Oh, my god.
210
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:33,320
I el like we are
so in sync lately.
211
00:09:33,321 --> 00:09:36,519
I mean, seriously, I know what
you're gonna say as you say it.
212
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,387
No, you don't.
No, you don't.
213
00:09:38,388 --> 00:09:41,156
Okay, well, was a little late,
but I wasn't ready yet.
214
00:09:41,157 --> 00:09:43,657
Say anything, and I'm gonna say
it with you in exact unison.
215
00:09:43,658 --> 00:09:44,959
Okay.
Okay.
216
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,826
It's been a long day...
Long day.
217
00:09:46,827 --> 00:09:48,995
Mostly because
the pressurization...
218
00:09:48,996 --> 00:09:51,030
On the beer taps was broken.
Taps.
219
00:09:51,031 --> 00:09:52,798
I tried to fix it myself...
Myself.
220
00:09:52,799 --> 00:09:54,900
But that's why I had to mop the
whole place up. floors. What?
221
00:09:54,901 --> 00:09:56,251
You're not good at this.
222
00:09:56,252 --> 00:09:57,602
I am. I'm just off my game.
I am. I'm just off my game.
223
00:09:57,603 --> 00:10:00,737
see, I'm good at this.
224
00:10:01,772 --> 00:10:04,206
You know, I-it feels like
you're putting out
225
00:10:04,207 --> 00:10:07,475
A real, uh,
relationship-y vibe.
226
00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:09,677
Are you sure
you can handle this?
227
00:10:09,678 --> 00:10:12,746
Because it's still early enough
for us to just bail.
228
00:10:12,747 --> 00:10:14,513
If we avoid each other
for a week,
229
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:15,981
I can totally forget
I've seen you naked.
230
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,449
Really? You could
forget in a week?
231
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,686
I'd never forget, would I?
Nice save.
232
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,223
Since jules didn't answer
at her house,
233
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,192
I thought maybe she was
over here with ellie.
234
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,227
No. Mrs. Torres is at work.
235
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,329
She told you
she went to work?
236
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:33,498
Ohh!
That is awesome news, nanny.
237
00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:35,500
See?
I'm not always an otter.
238
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,869
Sometimes I just
like to hold hands.
239
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,203
Mm-hmm.
240
00:10:39,204 --> 00:10:40,904
Mm.
241
00:10:40,905 --> 00:10:43,106
Grayson was right
to be worried.
242
00:10:43,107 --> 00:10:45,875
You-you can't keep doing this
without getting attached.
243
00:10:45,876 --> 00:10:47,510
Yes, I can.
244
00:10:47,511 --> 00:10:49,879
Will you stroke my hair?
245
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,181
I have to go. Thank god.
Wait. What? Why?
246
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:55,216
Well, because-it's not you.
My workday is over. I... But...
247
00:10:55,217 --> 00:10:58,386
you are
squeezing me very tight.
248
00:10:58,387 --> 00:11:01,555
what a day, marina.
249
00:11:01,556 --> 00:11:03,424
Be glad you're not a lawyer.
250
00:11:03,425 --> 00:11:06,326
Do you know that companies
think they can get away
251
00:11:06,327 --> 00:11:08,761
With dumping chemicals
in our water supply?
252
00:11:08,762 --> 00:11:10,596
Luckily,
I can get anyone to talk.
253
00:11:10,597 --> 00:11:12,497
All I have to do is
flash a smile
254
00:11:12,498 --> 00:11:14,482
And put on a push-up bra.
255
00:11:14,483 --> 00:11:16,466
Are you stealing the
plot of "erin brockovich"?
256
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,702
What are you doing here?
I was just waiting for you,
257
00:11:19,703 --> 00:11:23,071
But now I'm literally
bathing in this moment.
258
00:11:23,072 --> 00:11:24,538
Oh, gosh.
259
00:11:24,539 --> 00:11:27,374
Feels so good on my skin.
260
00:11:30,311 --> 00:11:32,412
Ah,
nothing we can do tonight.
261
00:11:32,413 --> 00:11:34,247
We'll bed wn here,
then at first light,
262
00:11:34,248 --> 00:11:36,249
We grab hard hats,
a couple of mustaches,
263
00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:39,419
We'll shimmy on up there and
grab it. And why the mustaches?
264
00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:42,390
Well, you ever seen a hard hat
without a mustache under it?
265
00:11:42,391 --> 00:11:44,960
Uh, no, but in my defense,
I'm a sane person.
266
00:11:44,961 --> 00:11:48,697
Gotta jam. Going out dancing with
the wife tonight. Hey. Go, andy.
267
00:11:48,698 --> 00:11:51,832
We can't go dancing.
I sent the nanny home.
268
00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:53,464
I don't want her.
269
00:11:53,465 --> 00:11:55,647
So what am I supposed to do, go shake
it by myself?
270
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,830
That's what he said.
271
00:11:57,831 --> 00:11:59,332
That wasn't even subtle!
272
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:02,167
Th-there's an art to this!
273
00:12:03,403 --> 00:12:06,004
♪ no strings attached,
no need to commit ♪
274
00:12:06,005 --> 00:12:08,239
We're pallin' 'round
while we're gettin' down ♪
275
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,541
♪ we're friends with benefits ♪
♪ friends with benefits ♪
276
00:12:10,542 --> 00:12:13,043
♪ friends with benefits ♪
277
00:12:13,044 --> 00:12:14,378
Horrible.
278
00:12:14,379 --> 00:12:17,113
Well, you'll be
singing it later.
279
00:12:17,114 --> 00:12:18,598
I hope not, because it'll mean
someone has a gun to my head.
280
00:12:18,599 --> 00:12:20,082
Hey, you want to stay
for coffee?
281
00:12:20,083 --> 00:12:23,518
Eh, not today. Oh, cool.
See you on the flip side.
282
00:12:23,519 --> 00:12:26,154
What? People still say
"flip side."
283
00:12:26,155 --> 00:12:28,256
So how was the boom-boom
last night?
284
00:12:28,257 --> 00:12:30,658
that is so much worse
than "flip side."
285
00:12:30,659 --> 00:12:33,927
I knew it when I said it. No,
we actually didn't even hook up.
286
00:12:33,928 --> 00:12:36,796
We played penny can.
It was so much fun.
287
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,864
Oh, we came up
with this new tickle rule.
288
00:12:38,865 --> 00:12:42,000
Did you?!
Jules, you are so into him.
289
00:12:42,001 --> 00:12:44,235
Ellie, I've got this
under control.
290
00:12:44,236 --> 00:12:46,136
Mm-hmm.
291
00:12:47,705 --> 00:12:49,339
Look at him.
292
00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:51,607
Look at him, jules.
293
00:12:51,608 --> 00:12:53,909
I don't want to.
I know you don't.
294
00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:56,678
Because even though
grayson's right over there...
295
00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:58,579
Say it, jules.
296
00:12:59,581 --> 00:13:02,748
it's like
he's a million miles away.
297
00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:10,647
Is he looking at me?
298
00:13:10,648 --> 00:13:12,315
What about now? What
about now? No. No. Yeah.
299
00:13:12,316 --> 00:13:14,551
Really?
No.
300
00:13:14,552 --> 00:13:15,836
I just feel like an idiot.
I'm gonna go talk to him.
301
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,120
No, because you
can't be normal.
302
00:13:17,121 --> 00:13:18,788
Yes, I can.
Hey!
303
00:13:18,789 --> 00:13:21,556
You work that hose, bitch!
304
00:13:21,557 --> 00:13:23,691
You're weird, jules.
305
00:13:23,692 --> 00:13:25,826
weird like a fox.
306
00:13:25,827 --> 00:13:27,660
Oh, no. Put the guns away.
307
00:13:27,661 --> 00:13:29,829
Damn these things.
I hate them!
308
00:13:35,401 --> 00:13:37,603
trav, check it out.
309
00:13:37,604 --> 00:13:41,240
why are we whispering? Because
the balloon's right there.
310
00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:44,409
We don't want to spook it.
it's a balloon.
311
00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:47,878
now look
what you did. Come on!
312
00:13:49,213 --> 00:13:51,515
Just tell him
how you really feel.
313
00:13:51,516 --> 00:13:54,585
Being open and honest is
a firm plan "c."
314
00:13:54,586 --> 00:13:56,920
Please don't tell me
the other plans.
315
00:13:56,921 --> 00:13:58,788
Plan "a" would just be
316
00:13:58,789 --> 00:14:00,923
Continuing on with our friends
with benefits thing forever.
317
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,525
Plan "b" is
a little more intricate.
318
00:14:03,526 --> 00:14:05,728
First, I have to make him
feel insecure
319
00:14:05,729 --> 00:14:07,796
With a series
of insult-compliments,
320
00:14:07,797 --> 00:14:10,899
Like, um, "I just love
your beautiful, tiny eyes"
321
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:12,901
Or, um,
"your receding hairline
322
00:14:12,902 --> 00:14:15,937
Really makes
your tiny eyes pop."
323
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,407
So you're gonna focus
on the eyes?
324
00:14:18,408 --> 00:14:19,841
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
325
00:14:19,842 --> 00:14:22,210
And then to strip what's left
of his self-esteem,
326
00:14:22,211 --> 00:14:23,578
I'll fatten him up.
327
00:14:23,579 --> 00:14:26,480
Now once he's gained about
400 pounds and hates himself,
328
00:14:26,481 --> 00:14:28,448
That's when I cut him loose.
329
00:14:28,449 --> 00:14:31,517
That fat bastard will beg
to have me back.
330
00:14:31,518 --> 00:14:33,418
Either I'll want him
or I won't,
331
00:14:33,419 --> 00:14:35,821
But the point is,
it'll be my choice.
332
00:14:35,822 --> 00:14:39,123
Well, I mean, I-I-it sounds like
you have a lot of options.
333
00:14:39,124 --> 00:14:40,457
Lots.
334
00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:43,593
Not crazy at all.
God, no.
335
00:14:43,594 --> 00:14:45,728
Hey, andy.
336
00:14:45,729 --> 00:14:47,497
Your nostrils look
really mad.
337
00:14:47,498 --> 00:14:50,333
Stop torturing ellie
about the nanny.
338
00:14:50,334 --> 00:14:53,203
Look, the best thing to do
when someone picks on you is
339
00:14:53,204 --> 00:14:55,104
To give them a taste
of their own medicine.
340
00:14:55,105 --> 00:14:57,973
I read that in a magazine. And I
know what you're gonna say,
341
00:14:57,974 --> 00:14:59,907
But I really did read it
in a magazine.
342
00:14:59,908 --> 00:15:02,544
I swear on my mother's life.
What magazine?
343
00:15:02,545 --> 00:15:05,679
What kind of a friend
wouldn't let that slide?
344
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,551
Now my mom is gonna die,
you murder.
345
00:15:08,552 --> 00:15:10,386
Do you know how hard it is
346
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,321
For a man
to find a gift for his wife
347
00:15:12,322 --> 00:15:15,156
That she thinks is for her
but is actually for him?
348
00:15:15,157 --> 00:15:17,258
Lingerie didn't work.
She saw right through that.
349
00:15:17,259 --> 00:15:20,026
Oral sex class?
Ha ha. Huge mistake,
350
00:15:20,027 --> 00:15:22,327
And as it turns out,
really insulting.
351
00:15:22,328 --> 00:15:25,697
But the nanny? Ellie sees
that as totally selfless,
352
00:15:25,698 --> 00:15:28,598
But to me it means being able
to go out to a dinner or a movie
353
00:15:28,599 --> 00:15:30,533
Or even dancing
ce in a while.
354
00:15:30,534 --> 00:15:32,835
Do you know when the last time
I went dancing was, laurie?
355
00:15:32,836 --> 00:15:34,470
Huh? Do ya?
No!
356
00:15:34,471 --> 00:15:35,971
This...
357
00:15:35,972 --> 00:15:38,440
Was still fresh.
358
00:15:41,176 --> 00:15:43,511
How long are you gonna
keep doing that?
359
00:15:49,350 --> 00:15:51,785
come back!
360
00:15:51,786 --> 00:15:54,020
Dad, it won't listen!
It's just a balloon!
361
00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:59,324
I'm gonna get you, baby!
I'm gonna get you!
362
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,358
Aah!
363
00:16:01,359 --> 00:16:03,260
Dad!
364
00:16:03,261 --> 00:16:06,062
Dad?
365
00:16:06,063 --> 00:16:07,629
Oh, thank god.
366
00:16:09,365 --> 00:16:12,634
Wait. Did you know there was
another ledge here?
367
00:16:12,635 --> 00:16:15,570
No. I may have got a little
caught up in the moment.
368
00:16:16,439 --> 00:16:18,540
You almost died!
And for what?
369
00:16:18,541 --> 00:16:22,210
To get your dumb boat
back in the water?
370
00:16:22,211 --> 00:16:25,913
Look, no more driving
senior citizens around for cash,
371
00:16:25,914 --> 00:16:27,581
No more sleeping on benches.
372
00:16:27,582 --> 00:16:29,617
Just no more, okay?
373
00:16:32,153 --> 00:16:34,454
grow up, dad.
374
00:16:34,455 --> 00:16:37,591
Come on. How could
you not laugh at that?
375
00:16:37,592 --> 00:16:40,327
Hey, studly.
Hey. What's up?
376
00:16:40,328 --> 00:16:42,327
You know I-I was
just thinking about
377
00:16:42,328 --> 00:16:44,695
How we get to keep knocking it
out and high-fiving afterwards
378
00:16:44,696 --> 00:16:46,330
Until we die.
379
00:16:46,331 --> 00:16:47,931
I'm so psyched.
380
00:16:47,932 --> 00:16:50,567
You just say, "shall we?"
381
00:16:50,568 --> 00:16:54,871
No problem. Shall we?
382
00:16:54,872 --> 00:16:56,673
Grayson, I can't do this.
383
00:16:56,674 --> 00:16:59,342
No, that's, um,
that's where you say "indeed."
384
00:16:59,343 --> 00:17:01,443
I just-I want more. I do.
385
00:17:01,444 --> 00:17:04,346
I know what I said before,
but that was, like,
386
00:17:04,347 --> 00:17:06,715
18 hours ago,
and that was the old jules.
387
00:17:06,716 --> 00:17:09,584
The new jules-
she shoots from the hip.
388
00:17:09,585 --> 00:17:11,385
Go away.
389
00:17:11,386 --> 00:17:15,289
Look, the only reason
that you and I didn't dive in
390
00:17:15,290 --> 00:17:16,923
Is because we're scared.
391
00:17:16,924 --> 00:17:19,392
I've been makingason
so many decisions my whole life
392
00:17:19,393 --> 00:17:20,827
Out of fear.
393
00:17:20,828 --> 00:17:22,962
I just don't want
to do it anymore.
394
00:17:22,963 --> 00:17:26,065
Come on. We like each other.
395
00:17:26,066 --> 00:17:29,167
Let's do this.
Let's do this.
396
00:17:29,168 --> 00:17:31,636
I don't know
what you want me to say.
397
00:17:31,637 --> 00:17:34,471
Just say...
398
00:17:34,472 --> 00:17:36,239
"why not?"
399
00:17:38,275 --> 00:17:40,476
So how'd it go?
400
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:42,511
Tosoon?
401
00:17:42,512 --> 00:17:44,380
Just give him some time.
402
00:17:44,381 --> 00:17:46,432
He probably just
thinks this isn't what
403
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,484
he signed up for.
That's what he said.
404
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,518
I don't get it.
405
00:17:50,519 --> 00:17:52,987
No, that's actually
what he said. Ooh.
406
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:57,191
♪..To hold to get me through
the stage of life ♪
407
00:17:57,192 --> 00:17:59,760
Well, that's twice
I've found you in here.
408
00:17:59,761 --> 00:18:01,728
I'm buying bear spray.
409
00:18:01,729 --> 00:18:05,997
I was just teasing
about the nanny, you wuss.
410
00:18:05,998 --> 00:18:07,698
Look...
411
00:18:07,699 --> 00:18:11,033
I want to tell you something,
412
00:18:11,034 --> 00:18:13,101
But you can't tell jules.
413
00:18:13,102 --> 00:18:14,702
I'm intrigued.
414
00:18:14,703 --> 00:18:17,171
You're kind of my hero.
415
00:18:17,172 --> 00:18:18,471
No, thank you.
416
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,206
Okay, not you personally,
417
00:18:20,207 --> 00:18:23,542
But you have everything-
418
00:18:23,543 --> 00:18:25,844
A great house, great family,
419
00:18:25,845 --> 00:18:28,279
Fancy old lady clothes.
420
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,414
The dirty secret is,
421
00:18:30,415 --> 00:18:32,716
I want your life, not jules'.
422
00:18:32,717 --> 00:18:34,618
She works like a dog.
423
00:18:34,619 --> 00:18:36,953
And I'll tell you what.
If I do marry smith,
424
00:18:36,954 --> 00:18:39,488
Jules is gonna walk
into the office one day,
425
00:18:39,489 --> 00:18:41,256
Look over at my chair,
426
00:18:41,257 --> 00:18:43,625
And there's just
gonna be a puff of smoke.
427
00:18:43,626 --> 00:18:45,393
And when I have a baby,
428
00:18:45,394 --> 00:18:47,394
I'm gonna hire, like,
a 5-person parenting team
429
00:18:47,395 --> 00:18:50,097
Who'll wear uniforms
I design.
430
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,803
You're welcome.
431
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,205
Get dressed, woman!
432
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:02,173
Whoo-hoo! We're going out!
433
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:06,010
Let's go get some dinner.
Sure. Why not?
434
00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:07,545
Great. Shall we?
435
00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:10,080
can you ask me another way?
436
00:19:10,081 --> 00:19:11,248
what?
437
00:19:11,249 --> 00:19:13,350
Hello. I'll go, too,
438
00:19:13,351 --> 00:19:15,085
If you're driving.
439
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,723
No way!
440
00:19:19,724 --> 00:19:22,659
I know I've been too broke to do
as much for you as your mom,
441
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:25,361
But I didn't want you to go off
to college without a car.
442
00:19:25,362 --> 00:19:27,230
Now if we had gotten
that damn balloon,
443
00:19:27,231 --> 00:19:29,565
I could have given her
a new paint job
444
00:19:29,566 --> 00:19:31,967
And fixed those bullet holes.
This is all your dad's doing.
445
00:19:31,968 --> 00:19:33,536
He's been working
extra jobs for months.
446
00:19:33,537 --> 00:19:35,104
Man, now I feel like a tool.
447
00:19:35,105 --> 00:19:37,005
I know. It makes it
even more delicious.
448
00:19:37,006 --> 00:19:39,974
Now you want to take
this panty dropper for a spin?
449
00:19:39,975 --> 00:19:41,909
Yeah, but I want one thing.
450
00:19:59,694 --> 00:20:02,129
Why did you dot?
451
00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:04,030
Why not?
452
00:20:20,904 --> 00:20:23,038
Thanks for getting me
the mustache, guys.
453
00:20:23,072 --> 00:20:25,340
I haven't had one
since eighth grade.
454
00:20:25,374 --> 00:20:28,141
You look like dom deluise
and burt reynolds' love child.
455
00:20:28,176 --> 00:20:31,211
Ha ha. hey, I
got a great idea.
456
00:20:31,245 --> 00:20:33,946
I say we make a man pact
and wear these for a month.
457
00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:35,881
Mean, I wouldn't call that
a "great" idea,
458
00:20:35,915 --> 00:20:37,432
But hey, why not? I'm down.
459
00:20:37,433 --> 00:20:38,949
Well, I'll give
it a shot, fellas,
460
00:20:38,984 --> 00:20:42,018
But once ellie sees this,
she's gonna make me take it off.
461
00:20:42,052 --> 00:20:44,286
She loves this face too much.
462
00:20:45,856 --> 00:20:47,756
What's that on your face?
463
00:20:47,758 --> 00:20:50,792
What is this thing on my face?
I've had it on for a week!
464
00:20:50,827 --> 00:20:53,795
A week! Seriously?
465
00:20:53,830 --> 00:20:57,231
Calm down.
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